Self-Love is a Decision!

Bella, how are you? I can't hear you.

Can you hear me now?

I gotcha.

Much better. Sorry. I'm sorry. How are you Trying to figure out this zoom thing. I'm good. I'm. Yeah, surprisingly been really good throughout all of this.

Where are you right now?

I'm in London. I moved back here, like, a month after I met you, which has been really nice. Yeah, I moved to central London, but right now I'm with my family. I'm in my family's house near Notting Hill, which everyone seems to know because of the movie.

Just for Christmas. That back. Back on Monday.

So when do you go back? So you. Okay, I got you. So you live in London, but right now you're with your parents outside of London or also.

Yeah, they still live in London. So they. They live in West London. But I'm going back to my apartment on Monday. Just. Just been back for the holidays and also lockdown, so.

So when I met you, you were. Were you living in the US at that time, or were you living in London?

I was living in the US at that time. Yeah. So I was living in Miami, but I was in Arizona for, like, that month, and then I came back to London probably, like, three weeks after that.

Okay.

For good. But I was living in America when I met you. Yeah. Yeah.

Gotcha. And you were dating.

Are you still dating the same guy?

Oh, gosh, no.

Okay. Okay.

How did. Manuel.

We won.

What was his name?

Lucas.

Lucas, that's right. Okay. I couldn't remember. Yeah. So that.

Didn'T go as planned.

No.

It was. Do you know what? I think Karina tested a lot of relationships, and.

Yeah, it was. I don't know if it was because of corona. He went back to America for a birthday party because we lived together in London. We were living together in West London. And, yeah, he went back to America for a birthday party, and then was meant to fly back on the weekend, and he was like, oh, I'm staying here. I was like, oh, okay.

He wanted me to stay with him. It was all a big mess. It was like, I can't believe how long ago it was now, though. But, yeah, I broke up with him based off that. But, yeah.

You'Re gonna marry someone. And then a pandemic hits.

So, you know.

I got coronavirus about a year ago, so I got to experience that. That was not much fun. And then about three weeks ago, I had the vaccine, and then the first. So the vaccine is two shots. So I had the first one about three weeks ago, and then two Days ago, I had the second shot of the vaccine. So the first one was no big deal at all. I mean, I just got a shot in the arm and my arm was sore, really sore, for like two days, but no big deal. And then two days ago, I had the second one and it kicked my butt.

All the symptoms that I had when I had Covid came back yesterday.

Which vaccine did you get? Was it Pfizer or.

The Pfizer one.

Okay, interesting. Oh, my mom just had hers yesterday, so. Second one, her first. So I'm. Yeah, I guess it's different for everyone, isn't it?

Yeah, it does. So in my office here, we probably had 20 people that had it. Most of them, no problem at all. A few of us had, but it only lasted for a day. So yesterday was not fun at all. Mainly. So I got the shot at like 9 in the morning. That whole day, no problem. But at about 11 o' clock at night, all the symptoms came back. So the fever, the chills, the.

Headache, all that stuff came back right at nighttime. So I didn't get any sleep. Not last night, but the night before. And so that was kind of the worst part, you know, was the fever. And then all day yesterday, same sort of thing. But then today I'm fine.

Oh, okay. Oh, good. Okay. So at least it only lasted a day.

Just a day? Yes.

Oh, God. It's been mad, hasn't it? I mean, who would have known that this was gonna happen? It's crazy. I mean, like, most people I know now either have it or have had it. I mean, I've been really, really lucky. Touchwood. I haven't had it. But I'm also convinced that I just can't get it because I'm very. I'm very surprised that I haven't had it.

Have you been out and about?

I was. I was. Because the first lockdown, like last year in March, I was very, very safe because I was with my family. But then as soon as I moved out, I think I went a bit crazy because I was like, yay, freedom. You know, I can do whatever I want.

So I'm surprised. I'm surprised I haven't had it.

But it's a good thing. Yeah. Did you lose your taste and smell in your.

What?

Did you lose your taste and smell and everything?

Not yesterday. The first time, yes, but not yesterday. It just was more the headache and the chills. In fact, when I had the COVID The worst part is the fever. That's the. I mean, even I had pneumonia. I had the Cough. I had all that stuff that. That wasn't all that bad. But the chills. Have you ever had the chills when you just can't stop shaking? So I had six days of that, and it was just, you can't sleep, you ache, everything's sore, you can't get comfortable. That's the bad part, at least was for me. Hopefully you don't have to deal with it.

Hopefully. Not.

A lot has happened for you since we last talked.

Oh, yeah, a lot. Honestly, like, I keep saying this, like, if someone told me what my life would have been last year, I never, ever would have believed them. I mean, it was heading in a completely different direction to what I ended up doing. It's mad, but, you know, it's just so interesting how life works. It's so interesting because I've always found that the best things that happen to you, literally, they'd always come unplanned. You never. You never plan them, ever. It's so interesting. But, yeah, it's been. I've learned so much about myself and, you know, the world in the past year.

Let's not talk about it now, but we will talk about it in just a minute. Yeah, I don't want to hear all the good stuff before I get to hear all the good stuff.

That's true. That's true.

So I will start, I'll do a little intro, and then I will bring you on and some of this. We usually don't use the video as much, but we'll record it anyways. And maybe we will. But let me just do a little intro.

And then we'll kind of see where we go. Sound good?

Yeah, sounds good.

Okay.

Welcome to beyond you'd why podcast, where we go beyond. Just talking about your why and actually helping you discover and then live your why.

And.

And so if you're a regular listener, you know that every week we talk about one of the nine whys, and then we bring on somebody with that why so we can see how their why has played out in their life. Now, today, we're going to be talking about the why of contribute. Now, individuals with this why yearn to be part of a greater cause, something greater than themselves. You don't want to necessarily be the cause, but rather contribute to it in a meaningful way. You want to make a difference in the lives of others in an organization or a cause that you believe in. You love to support others and relish the success of the greater good, the company's growth, and the victory of the team people with this why seek to add value in all they do, do their part and help in whatever way possible. You are often behind the scenes looking for ways to make the world better. When you show up in more of a public forum, it is often to trumpet a message or support a movement. People with this why are the go to people the ones you look for when you need help with just about anything? You make reliable and committed teammates and are often found in all areas of athletics, performing arts and cause based nonprofits. Virtually every organization must have contributors in order to operate successfully. They act as the glue that holds everyone else together. They use their time, energy, resources and connections to add value to others. So today I've got a great guest for you. Her name is Bella Glanville. She is an international model, TEDx speaker, peak performance coach, and founder of Motivate Magazine and the Love Kids Foundation. Born and raised in London, she has modeled for companies such as Adidas, Stella McCartney, Topshop, Nike and Vogue. She is also a TV personality, film producer and actor. She takes the lead role in the film Deadly Perfect, which premieres in 2021. Bella has given four international TEDx talks exploring the myth of perfection, embracing uncertainty, clashing personalities, and the science of online dating. She also gives motivational talks and workshops to young people and as a certified NLP practitioner. Bella, welcome to the podcast.

It's great to be here. Thank you for having me.

This is exciting because you and I met maybe a year and a half ago. Or is that about what it was?

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. See, it's 2021 now. That would have been about a year and a half ago. Wow. Time flies, right?

And it was in Phoenix and you were the guest of somebody that I was doing a workshop for and it was great to have you there because, you know, what stood out to me right away was when we were talking about the, the workshop was for a dentist and so we were talking about teeth and I remember saying to you, I turned to you because we were talking about what it's like to not have great teeth and not be able to smile. And then I turned to you and I said something like, you know, but you probably wouldn't understand that being a model like you are. And then what did you say to me?

Well, I didn't always, I didn't always have great teeth. And models happen to be, you know, the most, the most insecure actually out of anyone I've met. Which is, which is really interesting. And I probably also mentioned how it's so great because in the modeling industry now it's not about having perfection in all areas of your body. It's about having something quirky and actually embracing differences. And it's really, really changing in the modeling industry, especially in London, which is great, you know, that kind of embracing all these differences. So, yeah, I think I probably mentioned to you about how you're gonna do better as a model now if you have a gap in your teeth, which. So yeah, no, having good teeth, not good as a model anymore.

You also mentioned that when you were younger you were made fun of because of your teeth.

Yeah, it's true. When I was younger, I, you know, before I had braces and everything, I had the, you know, the stereotypical British teeth where they really, they really stuck out. And you know, people, people at school would really, really bully me for it. They'd say that I was goofy and, you know, they tripped me up. And it kind of like led to me really, really hating myself and got to the point where I couldn't even look in the mirror because of, because I was like, I literally had taken on all of the labels that other people had given me. So instead of looking in the mirror and seeing myself, I looked in the mirror and saw all of these other people's labels. So I essentially just saw their definition of me and I saw this goofy girl. And so this was before I learned about, you know, the importance of self love. And then, then I learned about that and it completely changed my life.

Well, how did that happen? So just for our audience because they can't see you right now. How old are you?

So I am 22. I just turned 22.

So you're 22. And when I read that bio that could have been the bio of a 50 year old.

With all the things that you've done, you've got a magazine, you've been in movies, you've got done TedX talk, four of them. I mean, that's a lot for somebody that's 22 years old. And so how did that happen? How did you go from this gangly girl that didn't like herself, wouldn't even look in the mirror to all the things that you've done? Because it's pretty amazing.

So when I was 13, I, you know, like I said, I completely hated myself. I didn't love myself at all. I was really shy, I didn't do anything. I was depressed. Then I became interested in personal development and NLP and positive psychology. And so I started attending, you know, like Tony Robbins events and reading all the personal development books. And the thing is, you can learn so much from these things. But there is always the one breakthrough that changes your life. And for me, that was learning about the importance of self love. Because once you learn to love yourself, literally everything becomes possible. The sky isn't the limit, but you are. You can do anything because you believe you can do anything. When people turn around to me and they say that they can't do something, I always say to them, okay, well you're right. Because whether you believe you can or you can't, you're right. It's literally about the belief that you have in yourself. You can look literally like anything. But if you turn around and you say, I am the most beautiful person in the world, other people are going to believe you and other people are going to see that beauty. And I mean, yes, when I was bullied for my goofy teeth and everything, I definitely looked different. It was the pre pubescent period, you know, I wasn't necessarily modely, but because I learned to love myself, I genuinely think that's why, that's why I manifested beauty into my life. And another like really strong, powerful thing that happened in terms of that is that the day I gave my first workshop on self love was the day that I got scouted to be a model. And I just find it really interesting that that happened. And that's how the universe works. And so, so I learned about self love.

Hold on one second, hold on a second here. I don't want to let you off the hook on this one yet because there are a lot of people out there that are going to hear you say, yeah, you've got to love yourself, right? And you've got to have self love. Well, how do you do that? How did you do that? How did you go from somebody who didn't love themselves to somebody who does? What was the turning point?

So that is a really interesting question because so many people, so many people say that. They're like, okay, so you're talking about how important self love is. How do I love myself? And it is so interesting that people ask that because I always say the same thing. I find it funny at first because I'm like, I cannot tell you how to love yourself. I can't, you know, I can't climb inside your body and make you love yourself. That is something that you have to decide. Self love is a decision. That's literally what it comes down to. It's not like I started doing all of this like daily work and then suddenly just loved myself. Literally the moment I decided to love myself, it was just A moment of decision because I was at this personal development event and one of the speakers was on stage and we're doing this closed eyes process. And he said one thing. He said, you. You define yourself. And as soon as he said that, the meaning I took from it is, oh, my goodness. This entire time I define myself. Other people don't. And then I suddenly realized, oh, my gosh, I love myself. And I can decide to love myself and actually no one can stop me. And it's a decision. And so self. Oh, my light has just gone out.

So self love is genuinely. Sorry. I think there has been a blackout in my house.

You can't see the screen, but suddenly Bella is gone.

Yeah, there is a blackout in my house. This has just happened.

We'll edit this out.

Okay, you can edit this out. Okay, good. I'm just gonna quickly find an area with light.

It's really weird because the light's on downstairs, but okay. Right.

Sorry, I'm.

Yeah, we'll just edit this out. Bella, my daughter Bella is the one who's going to edit this.

Oh, great. So sorry. I just told my mom I think she's going to fix it. I think a fuse has gone.

I can't believe this has happened. Do you know what? I'm going to use my phone torch for the meantime.

That's okay. It won't matter.

Let's use this for now. All right.

It'll look like we're in a horror movie or something.

Yes, I'm telling a horror story right now.

You're walking through up these staircases with a light, ready to attack somebody. So did all the lights in your house go out?

Yeah, I don't know. This just happened.

Wow.

But your wi fi is still on at least.

Yeah. This is really weird. I don't know how this has happened.

Right.

It. Stuff always happens. Never is easy. It's never simple. There's always something. Right.

This never happens when I'm on a podcast.

But. Okay, well, I've got light in the hall, so I may as I could just stay in the hall.

Yeah, that's fine.

I've got light and wi fi. Okay. Thinking out.

So back to self love.

Yeah, back to self love.

Okay. Apologies about the blackout.

So.

Trying to think where I was.

Oh, you were at. You were saying you were at an event and they talked to you about you define yourself.

Yes. So.

It was all in this moment of decision and I realized it's that easy. It's just something that you decide. And of course, there are things that you can do to reinforce that self love, there's this thing called the mirror exercise, which I absolutely love. And it's where you look in the mirror. And before you look in the mirror, you kind of. You think to yourself, you can close your eyes or whatever works for you. And you think about all the things that make you proud to be who you are. And then you think about all of the people that you love and all of the people that love you and all of the people that are proud of you. And as soon as you do that, you will look in the mirror and immediately feel radiant. And then that radiance is going to bounce back at you and you will love yourself. And it doesn't, because at the end of the day, self love, it doesn't come down to how you look. It comes down to how you feel. And then you don't care about how you look. And like I said before, you can literally look like anything. But you will be beautiful no matter what if you love yourself. And then you start looking in the mirror. And again, you do the mirror exercise. So you say, I love this, I love that. I mean, there was this video that went around that I used to show in my workshops for kids. There was this little girl and she was looking in the mirror, and whoever this girl's parents are, they're awesome. And I think that all parents should do this. And she was looking in the mirror and she was saying, I'm beautiful. I have amazing teeth, I have amazing hair, I have amazing eyes. And I just thought, that is amazing. Why are we not all doing this? This is such good reinforcement for kids to have. Because at the end of the day, what's really interesting is that every kid believes that they're beautiful until someone tells them that they're not. And it all comes down to just deciding, oh, I don't care about what other people think about me. It's about how I feel about myself.

So when it comes down to learning to love yourself, it's a decision. And it's all about reinforcing that things and the qualities that you know you already have and actually embracing them.

I love that. So think of the qualities that you have that make you proud and then reinforce those.

Yeah. And constantly remind yourself every day. So when people say, how can I learn to love myself? Of course there is no way of me being like, right click the switch, you love yourself. But it definitely helps to do the mirror exercise because you just reinforce those qualities. And the more you say it, the more you're going to internalize it. And the more you're going to believe it and the more you're going to manifest more of those qualities into your life and the more you praise yourself. People, people don't praise themselves enough. I actually, I'm in the middle of writing an article which is titled Be cocky. Because people, people don't do it enough. You know, like, if I complimented you, you know, you wouldn't turn around and say to me, hey, hey, be humble. So why is it like that when we compliment ourselves? There was this one time that I was walking in the street with someone and I said something about myself being beautiful and he turned to me and he said, hey, be humble. And I said to him, no, that's not okay. That society are telling us that we can't compliment ourselves. Why can we compliment others and not ourselves? And it's because it's become the social norm to be insecure. And that's why it, like self love is just such a taboo subject because it's just because we're following the sheep, you know, we're following what other people are doing. It's, it's so, it's so easy to love yourself. It's literally just a decision. And we need to make it normal in society for that to be a thing.

I love that. And so you were, you were 14 or 13 and then at 14 is when you figured this out.

So I was actually, I was 13 when I started doing these events. So, yeah, I guess I was, I was 13 when I learned about the importance of self love. And that's really where everything started to change.

And so why did you start doing events? Tell us about the events that you were doing. What prompted you to do them?

So I started doing the events because it got to a point in my life where I was so depressed I actually couldn't go into school anymore. I used to pretend that I was sick a lot so that I didn't have to go into school because I was scared. I was scared of all of these bullies and these people telling me how I was goofy and fat and ugly and a loser. And, and what was really interesting is it wasn't just girls because people always think, oh, it's, you know, it's the cheerleaders and they're all bullying. But it was the girls and the boys. They were all just as bad as each other. So I just got scared of everyone. And so it got to this point where I just, I hated myself and I hated my life. I wrote, I wrote letters to my family because I wanted to end My life. And my, my brother came back one summer and he said, oh my God, Bella, I've just done this amazing event. It's called the Global Youth Leadership Summit in San Diego. It's completely changed my life. You've got to do it. And I suddenly became really excited because I saw that this had really changed my brother's life and made him really confident and happy. And so I thought, yeah, sign me up. So then the next year I did my first Tony Robbins event called upw. And you walk on fire and you learn about the six human needs. And it's aw. And it's super intense and it's like a three day party that changes your life at the same time. As a 13 year old, I was like, wow, this is some new information. Which is why it took a few months really, because then when I did the event that was specifically for kids, that's the one that really, really spoke to me. The one in San Diego that my brother had done because that's the one where I learned about sex and I was surrounded by other kids. And what was really interesting is because I'd been in this environment where I was bullied for so long, I kept saying to my brother, I'm really scared about going to this event because I think I'm going to go. And I'm really worried about being lonely and people judging me and people making fun of me. And he laughed every time I said that. And he said, belly, you're going to go to this event and everyone loves each other. You can literally go up to someone you've never met before and give them a hug and tell them you love them and it will be normal. He said, you are going to be laughing when you go to this event that you were worried about people judging you. And it was true. I went to this event and it was like this place I'd never been before where everyone just loved everyone. It didn't matter who you were or how you looked. And it was so new to me that I just thought, this is unbelievable. And it's all about the environment that you're in. Because the quality of your life is dependent on the quality of the relationships that you surround yourself with. And as soon as I realized that I could be in this positive environment, I immediately, you know, I left this event, I came home, I didn't look any different. But my mum went, my God, you look beautiful. She was like, you just, you're radiant. You've never looked so beautiful. And then I started my foundation and I started teaching about Self love. And because of this environment, this was also really interesting. I decided I was going to change school because I said I could go back into that old environment as the person I've become. But I want to change my environment. I want to test something. So before I started this new school, I remember I told myself I'm going to be the most popular person now. I'm going to walk in and everyone's going to love me and I'm beautiful. And I went in with this new mentality and never ever had any problems in that school. I had the most amazing group of friends. I thrived at that school. You know, I got the grades I always needed to get into the right university and it was absolutely the right decision. And it was all because I learned to love myself. This is how important it is. I'm telling you, anything can become possible.

Wow. You know, it's really fascinating that you were able to think the way you thought at the age that you were at. Because when I look back at myself as a 13 year old, those are not conversations that I would have had with myself. Those are not thoughts that I was having with myself. They were more, you know, I was like, when's the next sporting event or when is my next whatever? It wasn't really about me and personal growth at that age.

You know what I mean? So most kids don't think that way. I don't think. I'm just wondering if most kids at age 13 are able to conceptualize and think like you did or was it because of the pain that you went through that made you think that way.

So it's really interesting again because a lot of people say, oh, I don't need to go to any personal development events because I don't have any problems. And I always turn around to them and I say, okay, but that's like saying I know what one plus one is. So. So I don't need to know any more math for my life to work. It's everyone, everyone can use personal development in their life. I have a 15 year old sister and she, well, she was meant to start doing these events this year. Well, this the year we just had. But obviously because of the pandemic hasn't is very interesting because there is, there is such a difference between kids who have done these events and kids who haven't when it comes to their personal development. And that's, you know, that's why I started my foundation because I just thought if kids knew this stuff, imagine how different the world would be if you learned this stuff young, imagine what you were going to be capable of in the rest of your life. And you know, you said that I've been reading the things that I have done up to the age of 22. You know, it takes most people a lifetime to do stuff like that. Well, this is because I learned these tools early. And it's not like I learn, oh, this is how you give a TED Talk or this is how you be in a movie. I learn about self love. I learn about confidence. I learned about goal setting and gratitude. And when you have those values as a kid, doesn't matter if you have any problems, as long as you know those values, you know, you'll learn that life's too short not to do everything you want to do. Life's too short to hate yourself. And you'll become ambitious based off that. So, so I think that the self love thing really stood out to me because I was bullied. But at the end of the day, any kid can do these events. Any kid can get into personal development or nlp.

I love that. And so then you went from putting on your own events to then modeling and then kind of take us through what happened in your life after you started with these events.

So I started my foundation after. What is your foundation?

Tell us about your foundation.

So when I was 13 and I learned all of these tools and they completely changed my life. I thought, oh wow, these have completely changed my life. I have to share these with people, I have to teach these to other kids. And the fastest way I felt that I could do that was by setting up a foundation and actually running workshops so I could teach these things to like mass groups of people all at once. And so I set a new goal every year for my foundation. It started off as just, you know, a website and then, you know, social media and then a one on one sessions. And then I started being. Well, I went up to, there was a youth leadership summit that happened in the UK every year. And I went up to the person who organized it and I said, I want to speak this year. And I said, I've devised a workshop, I would love to run it. And he said yes, because you know, I didn't think he was going to say yes, but if you don't ask, the answer is always no. So that happened and it went really well. And then I started being invited to more and more leadership summits and youth events and I started speaking at schools. And quite often, you know, I would speak at schools, I'd say if you let me run events for you, I'll help you out with your charity events. And then, yeah, that's kind of how it all started my foundation. That's how I ended up running my own workshops. And that was one point that I was running workshops every week in different schools, which was really amazing. And I got to speak in a school in Utah and in Australia. And so, yeah, it was. So it was basically, it started off.

That and then that led into modeling. You said.

Yes. So the foundation, I still, I still run the foundation because of the Pandemic. It's more of a website at the moment, but I have also that also I started my magazine because I thought, well, why do I've got all these amazing contacts and all these amazing tools, I should start a magazine and actually start interviewing people about the changes they want to make in the world and messages they want to spread. And because I've got the tools to do this. And so that's. So I started my magazine. The modeling I do alongside it. The modeling I link to my Love Kids workshops and my motivational speaking. Actually, the first TED talk that I gave was about the myth of perfection in the modeling industry. So I spoke about that and self love and I spoke about really a lot of things that happen in the modeling industry that people don't know about. And you know, everyone knows about Photoshop and, and the eating disorders and everything, but that there is a lot of stuff that people still don't know that I thought, you know what, screw it. I'm going to TED Talk about this because I want everyone to know I'm going to expose the industry.

So it's another thing that I was running workshops about and people would say to me, well, if modeling is that bad, then why do you do it? And I always say, well, you need someone in the industry that's going to be like a 007 agent and an inside voice that's going to gonna, you know, tell everyone what's really going on and expose them. So feel pretty good about it, balances it out.

Are they less excited to hire you now that you've exposed a lot of this or not really.

Interestingly, my agency really liked the fact that I was doing all of this motivational speaking and they ended up sharing my TED Talk. And a lot of people now approach my agency, like a lot of school will approach my agency and say, we want her to come and speak at our school. And I think because the industry is changing so much, clients really, really like it that I am giving talks about the industry. I think because you know, I'm not just another model. I'm a model who's kind of got a voice and can speak out for them.

So, yeah, that's been. It's been awesome to kind of combine the motivational speaking and the modeling, for sure.

And now that led into movies, right?

So, yes, the movies. The movies all started because. Well, at the beginning of last year, I thought I always wanted to act. I was always doing musical theater, and I wanted to go into film. So during the first lockdown, I decided that I was gonna produce a really controversial short film that was gonna make people think a lot about depression and suicide and the choices that they make. And this was based off an experience that I had at the beginning of the first lockdown. And I thought, I really want to spread this message. And so I ended up making this short film that people filmed from home, and I edited it to make it look like a mockumentary, and it did really, really well. And it got a lot of people talking, and I thought, wow, this is. This is something that I love doing and I'm so passionate about. So then I started writing and producing more short films, and it got to the point where we were able to properly film them because of the fact that lockdown was lifted. And then more and more people started approaching me. I started doing auditions and ended up getting the lead role in a feature film, which is so exciting because that comes out this year, and I got an acting agent. So the feature film is called Deadly Perfect, and actually a really, really powerful film because it explores a lot of women's mental health issues and, well, I mean, yeah, a lot of the challenges that women face these days. In fact, I don't know how he managed to get it all into one movie, but the director, Graham Birch, he was amazing. He pretty much caught, like, every problem a woman can face into one film.

So that was a really, really cool movie. And, yeah, that's gonna come out this year. And, yeah, then I got into a lot of the TV stuff. Last year, I went on this reality dating show called Celebs Go Dating.

I ended up winning the show.

What does that mean when you win a dating show?

That it means that you're the favorite. The favorite date.

So, yeah, you date a celebrity, and then they pick their favorite, and you normally go on holiday with them. But because of the virus, we went to a beautiful rundown place in London called Stratford.

And it was really funny, actually, because on the show, they painted me out to be. So I dated this guy called Pete Wicks, and they painted me out to be his relationship therapist and this really. This girl who says a lot of deep quotes.

When you put a motivational speaker on a dating show.

Wow. So you've had an amazing amount of stuff happen to you, even just since I met you.

Yeah, yeah. Not typical. Strangely, I would say that the best and most successful year of my life was 2020. And it's interesting because there are. I always say there are two ways I can look at last year, because I had just as many bad things happen as good, but I am only looking at the good. You know, it's all about focus and energy. And I just decided that, yes, this is going to be the best year of my life. Despite the circumstances, I'm still going to set a bunch of isolation goals and I'm going to do everything. I'm going to do everything that I could never do before. And, yeah, everything became possible, and I think I just manifested more of those things. But you know what I always say, we all have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce. There is no excuse not to do everything you want to do. So all of these things that, you know, my foundation and my magazine and the modeling and the acting, and I'm doing a degree, you know, I do all of these things. I still do all of those things because life's too short not to, you know, any way that I can spread all the messages I want to spread, I'm going to do it.

How do you get so much done?

So get up.

What's a day like in Bella's life?

Well, I definitely live by the Beyonce philosophy, you know, in the sense that life's so short and we do have more hours in a day than we think. And you can if you set a bunch of goals for the day. So I will literally set. I will set such specific goals every single evening for the next day. I will literally write down take a shower as a goal, because then it feels that much better to actually tick it off as a goal. You feel like you've actually achieved something, you know, something you can write down every single thing that you want to do. And a lot of it also comes down to motivation, you know, actually motivating yourself to get everything done and being specific with your goals. So instead of writing, I'm going to make a thousand pounds this month, all right? I'm going to make £1,000. This is why, this is when, and this is how every single time I write a goal, and I think anyone writes their goals, they should always do a why A when and a how and maybe a where, you know, because if you're specific, then you're way more likely to actually achieve that goal. And I think it's really important to spread that message in the beginning of 2021, because a lot of people are going to be doing goal setting, but a lot of the time they don't achieve their goals because. Because of the fact that they're not specific enough and they just write, oh, I want to do this, I want to do this. But then they don't end up doing it because they don't know how or when.

So, yeah, it all comes down to that, to being specific with your goal strategies. And then the other thing is the motivation, you know, giving yourself the motivation to actually do it. So the way that I. My favorite motivation story, and this genuinely works so well for everyone that I've told it to. So people always say, okay, like you said, so how do you get everything done? If I told you to come to my house at 4 in the morning, you'd probably be like, well, no, I want to sleep. But if I said, hey, come to my house at 4 in the morning and I will give you $2 million, you'd be there at 3:30. The end goal is still the same thing, but you are just changing the meaning of that goal and why you're getting it. And in this case, the meaning is $2 million. But it's the same thing with any goal in your life. If you give yourself a good enough reason for getting that goal, you'll get it because there's no point coming up with meaningless goals. Your goals have to have meaning and then you will achieve them. Guarantee it.

I love that you have lots of great lessons and lots of great things that have helped you along the way that I guess people have taught you, right?

Oh, 100%. Yeah. I mean, a lot of the time, you know, when other people teach you lessons, you start to figure stuff out for yourself. Teaching kind of all pieces, pieces together, you know.

Yeah. And who has been the biggest influence, do you think, in your life?

I would definitely say the biggest influence in my life, other than like the cliche, you know, my parents and everything. I think the biggest influence has been Tony Robbins, for sure. You know, because he's the reason I got into personal development. He's the reason I learned all these lessons initially. And actually going to his events, every single time I go to one of his events, whether I'm crewing or attending, it changes my life. Even if it's the same event that I've done 10 times, you know, as an optical illusion. And you'll always see something different, you'll always learn something different from it. That being said, you know, a big influence has also been my granddad because he's 84 years old, but he may as well be like 30 because he's just, he's got life figured out. You know, he. The most important lesson I've learned from him is the whole thing about surrounding yourself with quality relationships. I'm sure that you know about the Harvard study, you know, which looked at all of the factors in your life that determine how long you'll live. And the number one thing being quality relationships. And my granddad is a really, really interesting example of that because he is so family orientated. He's 84, but he goes to these, these social clubs every single week, multiple times a week with other people his age. And he'll do different classes and he'll, he does concert performances and he is, he's so young and fit and mentally healthy. And I know that he's pretty much gonna live forever. You know, that's the way to live, really. Just actually pay attention to who your circle is and pay attention to who you're with when you feel your best.

Why do you think that everybody doesn't get into personal growth? What have, you know, you've seen all these, you've worked with lots of kids now, and some take the.

Leap and some start down the road of personal growth and others don't. Why do you think that is.

So? I think there are different reasons for everyone not getting into, you know, personal growth and personal development. A lot of people are not growth orientated, which is totally fine. You know, like it's. Growth is one of the six human needs and everyone's top two needs are different. I think that it's okay if you don't feel the need to get into personal development right now in your life, but then there can also be a reason that you should get into it, such as, I don't need personal development. I can deal with my problems myself. You know, I think that as I said before, anyone can benefit from personal development. I think a lot of people don't even know about its existence. You know, people see these quotes, these really deep quotes on Instagram as captions, and they think, oh, that's a nice quote. And they never actually do anything to apply that quote to their life. Which is why so people. More people are interested in it than they think because they look at these quotes and they actually, they Learn something from them. But personal development, the way that I used to explain personal development events to kids is, you know, all those deep quotes that you see on Instagram while personal development is learning how to actually apply those to your life. And they go, oh, I like those deep quotes. I use them on my captions. And so I think a lot of people just don't get into it because they don't. They don't know about it. They feel they don't need it, but everyone can benefit from it.

And so when your why came up as contribute, Mm. How did that feel to you?

So when my why was contribute, I remember you asked me if I was surprised, and I said, to be honest, no, because I think that you have to be the change that you want to see in the world. And that was a decision that I made when I was a teenager. And I have every single thing that every action and decision that I've made since that has been in favor of. Of being the change that I want to see in the world. And as I said, life is too short not to. And it doesn't matter whether you decide you want to leave a legacy or not. It's just. It's just about kind of acknowledging how short life is and doing everything that you want to do. And that was something very important to me. Contribution. I decided I want to contribute to the world. I want to make a difference. I learn about how important self love is, and I want to spread that message, and I want to help other people help themselves, because like I said before, I cannot make someone love themselves, but I sure as hell want to help them and want to teach them about how much it can change their life if they do. So I was very happy when. When it came up as contribution, I was very happy. I was like, yay. It's what I wanted.

So what is next for Bella?

What is next for me? Well, I am finishing my degree this year.

Sorry, which will be in what? Well, what's your degree in?

So I'm doing a degree at King's College in psychology, and I graduate this coming year.

Awesome.

I.

Very exciting movie opportunities coming up. I've done.

Hold on one second. You just cut out for a second. So you start back where you said, I getting my degree in psychology, and I couldn't tell if you said you graduate this weekend or this year.

Am I back, by the way? Good now.

Yeah, now I see you.

Is. Is it good now?

Yeah.

Okay, cool. Yes. I. So I. So I graduate this year, King's College. I'm doing Psychology. And yeah, I'm still, I'm still pretty much doing everything that we've been speaking about. So once the pandemic's over, I'm going to start running workshops again. I'm going to continue with my magazine and helping people kind of spread the messages that they want to spread.

And yeah, I've become really, really passionate about acting and I've done some great auditions recently. So hopefully something will come of those. Very, very exciting.

That is great. Well, Bella, thank you so much for taking time out of your evening over there, I think, right?

Oh, yeah. Well, it always feels like evening in the winter.

I know. And being with us, you've got so much going on, so many great things. I don't feel like I'm talking to a 22 year old. I feel like I'm talking more to like a 42 year old. Just because of all the things that you've done and just the way you think and talk and put things together is very helpful. So awesome what you've done so far and I can't imagine what you've got, you know, what you're going to be like at 42.

Well, it's all very exciting. Oh, I also, I forgot to mention I have a book coming out I think this year which pretty much talks about everything that I've spoken to you about as well. Just Bella's thoughts on paper labeled as chapters. So, yeah, it's been really, really, really wonderful speaking to you and speaking about.

All of this and I look forward to staying in touch. I'm sure as we go on our journeys, we'll do some work together. I'll have you come over for one of our events and I think it would be a lot of fun for people to hear from you.

Oh, absolutely. I would, I would so, so love that. Can't wait to be able to fly again.

I know. Well, thank you so much for being here and taking the time out and we'll stay in touch.

Great. Sounds good. Thank you so much for having me.