The Power of WHY: Discovering Fulfillment in Your Career and Beyond with Vered Kogan

Welcome to beyond you'd why Podcast, where we go beyond just talking about your why and actually help you discover and then live your why. You see, we believe that knowing your why, that driving force behind every decision you make and every action you take, is the essential first step to really knowing yourself. It allows you to move forward faster and have a bigger impact. If you're already a fan of the show, then you know that every week we talk about one of the nine whys and then we introduce you to somebody with that why so you can see how their why has played out in their life. This show will be more powerful for you if you've already discovered your why. If you still need to do that, head over to whyinstitute.com and discover your why today. It'll only take you about five minutes. Now let's meet today's guest.

This week we're going to be talking about the why of better way to find a better way and share it. So if this is your why, then you are the ultimate innovator and you are constantly seeking better ways to do everything. You find yourself wanting to improve virtually anything by finding a way to make it better. You also desire to share your improvements with the world. You constantly ask yourself questions like what if we did this differently? What if we did this another way? How can we make this better? You contribute to the world with better processes and systems while operating under the motto I'm often pleased but never satisfied. You are excellent at associating, which means that you are adept at taking ideas or systems from one industry or discipline and applying them to another, always with the ultimate goal of improving something. So today I have a great guest for you. Her name is Verad Kogan. She is a professional speaker and high performance coach specializing in helping individuals release the mental and emotional obstacles that prevent them from achieving their goals and successfully adapting to change. She began her career as a civil engineer, then went on to earn an MBA and joined the PWC as a management consultant helping executives prepare their organizations for change. She is highly trained in numerous modalities for psychological resilience and rapid transformational change such as neuro, linguistics, programming, heart math, having techniques and emotional freedom techniques. And she hosts a top rated podcast called the Mindset Game featuring interviews with leading experts on how to thrive in our increasingly complex world. Vered, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you Gary. It's a joy to be here.

This is going to be fun. I've been looking forward to our conversation.

So where.

Where do you live right now?

Where are you?

Where Are you from.

I'm in Scottsdale, Arizona. Beautiful.

So. Well, probably not today, but in general, very pretty.

Yeah, it's always pretty. It's, you know, it's actually sunny now. Used to be a little bit rainy earlier, but we, you know, we welcome a little bit of rain. It's, you know.

Yeah.

Sometimes when you don't have something, you really miss it.

Okay, so I hear a little bit of an accent. So tell us, where were you born? Where did you grow up? And what were you like growing up?

Oh, okay. I was born in Israel. And what was I like growing up? So I've been told that I was very.

Like, a very outgoing kind of kid. Used to be dancing a lot, and I did a lot of, like, gymnastics and dance and all kinds of things like that. I think some things shifted when we moved to the US when I was about 10. I think I became a little bit more shy. I think there was a kind of a shift there energetically.

But as a young child. Yeah, supposedly I was fearless and free.

Okay, so when you got to high school, what kinds of things were you into in high school?

Good question. I mean, I have to kind of admit I was kind of a nerd a little bit. I mean, I'm. I'm not ashamed of it because it's who I am. I really. I mean, I love to learn, I love to study. You know, I met my husband when I was 16, so at the very beginning of 11th grade. And so, you know, and we have been together, you know, ever since. Right. Meaning, you know, we. We dated and then we got married and so on. So we. I would say, what kind of things was I into? I was into, like, some boy bands, and, you know, I had some friends and.

And mostly, honestly, the. The second half was between school and my husband, Paul. That was probably the focus.

So were you still involved in sports or. Not so much involved in sport.

Good question. I was actually just thinking about that. When you asked the question, I thought, no, I was not. You know, it's interesting, when we left Israel, I kind of stopped that, I think, at the beginning, because when we lived in the US For a few years, we didn't really have a lot of money. It was a tough time. So I think that was a part of it. I wasn't really active in sports and then didn't really in high school. It's really only years later that I began to do some exercise, and it's something that I'm still working on. I go to a club and so on, but it's never been like a real natural thing for me, you know, and this is where we get into patterns, right? You know a lot about patterns. You know, my parents, amazing, beautiful people, you know, never demonstrated to us like athletics in the sense of like really being involved and being part of sports teams and that kind of thing. So it was never like natural and familiar for me. So I've always kind of had to work at it. But again, as a little kid, supposedly I, you know, loads of energy. But after that it kind of shifted.

Okay, so you graduate high school, off to college.

Where'd you go to college?

I went, my undergrad is University of Toronto and I studied civil engineering.

So from the US Then over to Toronto.

That's right.

And why did you pick Toronto?

That's a question for my parents. Because I was 13. So I think primarily it's because when we lived in the US there was no income. We came to the US because I was very sick. And that's what my doctors recommended is for us to move to Denver for me to have some treatment. So my, my dad went back to school. We got a master's degree. He's an engineer. He was an engineer. He's since passed, but yeah. Then we got our landed immigrant status in Canada and moved to Canada, eventually got citizenship and my parents and siblings then moved back to Israel. So my whole family is now in Israel and I am here with my husband and my immediate family.

Okay, so you moved to Denver for health reasons, but then you ended up growing up in Canada?

Yeah, High School 5. I was in Canada, yeah.

Ah, okay. Then back to the US and, and so graduating from college, what, what was your, did you go right into getting a job or more school? Did you say you got your MBA right after or did you go back later for that?

Not right after. I went to, I worked in a company called.

Pratt and Whitney Canada and I was doing some government testing, structural testing. It's a small, medium sized jet engine company. So that was actually nice and fun. And I also realized that it wasn't fulfilling my. Why that it was not aligned with my kind of bigger passion. I loved the people and loved connecting with people and understanding them and their patterns, but it really wasn't the right fit for me. So I decided to go back at an mba initially in strategic management and operations management, then got a job in consulting, management consulting and loved that. And then like many things in life, we're being guided and sometimes the guidance comes in adverse events. I was laid off along with about 28 people in my department. And that was one of the big gifts in my life. Didn't seem to know what that all meant, but boy, oh, boy, was it a. A huge gift. I would probably not be speaking with you today on this path that I'm on if I did not get the gift of being laid off.

What was it that told you that.

Government, your engineering, was not fulfilling your. Why?

You know, that's a good question. I think I wasn't having fun. You know, I really, really wasn't. It wasn't a fun job for me. I realized that I am, again, I can see this now through the lens of kind of the words and the lenses that I see the world now through. But in those days, it just wasn't fun. But now I can see that.

It did not allow me to. To understand human behavior. It did not allow me to really be an explorer and try to, you know, develop things that were new and different. It was really just kind of testing things that were already created. So it wasn't fun. It wasn't fun. And, and. And so I decided, why not go back to school, open some more doors? And I'm glad I did, because then I got to really create. Because after.

You know, my consulting work, which I got to do a lot of understanding of the root issues of problems, both human behavior in terms of change management and supply chain management, things like that, like system issues and to understand the root cause and to devise solutions, right? To create, to innovate new solutions for our clients. I didn't implement them. I was the one, you know, that would recommend them. And when I was laid off, I thought, all right, I love this creation energy. So I got a job at Kraft Foods working on brands in marketing, working on brands like Maxwell Coffee, Natural Cheese. And that was a lot of fun. And then once again, the universe knocked on the door and said, this is not quite it for you. And my husband got into a school, into a program in Texas, so we.

Moved to the U.S. ah, okay. So.

Why did you pick engineering in the first place?

My dad was an engineer. My brother was looking to be an engineer. My uncles were engineers. It was familiar, you know, and that at the time, it was between being a pediatrician, a psychologist, and actually, truthfully, it was really between those two things. And then one day I was talking to my dad and kind of talking about options. He said, you should be an engineer. You should be an engineer. I mean, you'd be a great engineer, good in math and science. You should be an engineer. And so I said, all right, Dad, I will be an engineer. And so it was. And I'm grateful again for that path because it allowed me to see what's possible and that I could do a lot of things. And that too opened many doors, but it wasn't quite it.

See, that's very similar to my story. There it is. I became a dentist mainly because I didn't know what I wanted to do. And my dad was a dentist. And so I thought, hey, you ought to try dental school. All right, I'll try dental school. And you know, you having the same why as I do. Better way.

Seemed like a better way to go. Right. Because then we don't have to actually make a decision.

Let's just take what they said would be better and see how it goes. I'll make it happen as we go. And then you realize maybe this wasn't the best choice. And you sounds like you got forced into making different choices.

Well, the Pratt and Whitney was not affordable. I, I quit because it wasn't a good fit. I decided to go back to school. Yeah. And then.

Okay, so then you got into management, you got into.

Behavioral systems and innovating things.

Worked with craft. And then once you were done with craft, you started your own firm.

Well, in between there I was a full time stay at home mom. So let me give you a little bit of a snapshot of that time in my life. So here I am working and craft, loving it. It was a very creative space to be in. And, and I got pregnant. And you know, at that time also, you know, my husband got into the US and we said, all right, this is kind of, this is the path. So we decided to move. And so I ended up moving to the US with a. She was three days old, my second daughter Emma was three days old. And I had a two year old daughter in a brand new city, not knowing anybody. My husband is a dentist as well. He was specializing at that time. And so that was a big shock. So I did not work right away in something else, nor could I. We didn't have a green card yet in the US So I was a full time stay at home mom was super involved. Right. Like parent, you know, what is it called the room mom. And involved in many things, volunteering. And still that wasn't it. I was feeling very depleted inside. Um, now looking back, I can see it was probably wasn't like clinical depression, but there was, there was some, some state issues going on. You know, mental, mental health, in terms of just feeling down. Uh, I was not happy being a full Time. Stay at home, Mom. Although my daughters are beautiful and amazing, it just wasn't the right fit for me. So I said, why don't I go back to school? Because I can do that. Can't work here, but I can surely go back to school. So I did. I went back and got a certificate in HR management. Why? Because when I got laid off, I was paired with a career coach. And the career coach was such a source of inspiration and empowerment that I said, I want to do that. And I had no idea what coaching was. Also coaching in those days, it was different. It was just the beginning. And so I got, you know, this HR management certificate from the University of Dallas, which then opened many other doors when we came to Arizona.

So you remember when at the beginning of this I said one of the things about the why of better way is they're rarely satisfied.

Are we hearing rarely satisfied here?

Just. Just a wee bit there. Yeah, yeah.

Always looking for a better way. Always trying to improve things. Right. And it's.

It'S interesting. So you now went go into coaching and tell us about that. What, what, what has coaching been like for you and where did you start with your coaching?

The root of coaching was initially volunteering. Again, before I could officially work here, I volunteered at an organization called the Fresh Start Women's foundation here in Phoenix. I'm still very heavily involved with that organization. In those days, I was helping women in transition to, you know, get their resume together, get ready for interviews, help them transition into this time in their life. There were women that were going through pretty tough transitions. And. And then my youngest went into kindergarten. I said, all right, now is the time, now is the time. And so I went back at certain, you know, to school, got certified, went into a program, got certified as a coach. And many, many, many doors opened up since then. And, you know, and as I reflect on the journey, there has continuously been a better way, better way kind of deal. But it's shifted. Like, it's not so much. At some point, it was because I felt like I needed to learn more, like I wasn't enough, like I needed to get more certificates, blah, blah, blah. And then at some point along the way, probably because I had done a lot of inner work, it became more moving towards something, if that makes sense, versus trying to fill some gaps, like, because I don't feel I'm good enough with clients, so I need to have more tools or something like that. At some point I realized I have enough tools.

It's just like there's. There's A deep desire to understand a better way, in your words, for things to be even quicker, even easier, and more sustainable. So that's where it's at.

Okay, so the type of coaching that you're currently doing is. I know, around.

Change. So tell. How would you describe the coaching you're currently doing?

It's essentially mindset coaching, because change is really about a transition. And for a change to be sustainable, we've got to create some psychological shifts. Yes, Mental, emotional shifts. We've got to be at a different level of consciousness so we don't repeat old patterns and revert back to old ways. So my work is really about helping individuals to release the old attachments, to release the programs, the negative emotions, those kinds of things, and to create a future that is.

You know, created from that liberated place so that we're truly free to access unlimited possibilities because we are more resilient and we've gotten the lessons that we needed to get. So, in essence, the clients are able to create a better way because they're no longer hindered by limiting beliefs and other.

Other attachments that are just not adaptive to them anymore.

So how do you help someone release.

Bad behavior, bad habits? How do you help them achieve that freedom? What's the process for doing that?

Yeah, so I'll give you the overall process, but there are many, many techniques. I'm trained in over a dozen tools to do that.

The essence is, number one, realizing that they're not bad.

The habits are not bad. The thoughts are not bad, per se. Right. And I use bad through the lens of a judgment. Yes. They are there because they are serving a purpose, a protective purpose. Purpose. And much of this is unconscious. For most people, it's all unconscious, which is why change can be difficult. Right, because we change things at the surface, at the conscious level, but we're not really.

You know, soothing those parts of us that believe that we will not be safe if we pursue certain things. So the unconscious mind is very protective. So we need to proceed very gently and help those parts of us to understand that those old programs are not serving us anymore. We're not little kids anymore. We're not. We've got more resources, we're wiser. We've got, you know, support network where, you know, we're stronger. Right. All of the above. So that they realize they don't need to have those programs anymore. And when those parts of us get that we'll be safe without the. The limiting beliefs or extreme beliefs, extreme behaviors, then. Then they give permission for that to be released. And once there's permission to let go of that, knowing that we'll be safe, then the, the old parts are reintegrated back into the system in their whole state without those burdens, those old burdens. So in essence, the process is one of love, because we soothe those parts we love. We can't force change.

It's not sustainable in the sense that if I'm not dealing with these old issues, if I'm not completing old patterns that are ready to be completed, some before my birth, some transferred epigenetically through the lineage to me, then what's going to happen is that I may, on the surface, work really hard, get very successful. Right. Have all that stuff, and those parts of myself are still not really healed. So I have this energy in my body which then oftentimes manifests into disease or other, you know, mind body issues. So for me to really complete old patterns to go. But to create a life, you know, one that is limitless, I must release those old attachments that are not helpful to me anymore. With love.

That's.

Complicated and confusing and not easy, probably. Well, I don't know if it's easy. Is it just a decision? Does it all boil down to just a decision?

Well, decision is the first part of it. Right. Oftentimes most people need to experience a lot of pain to get to that decision. It doesn't have to be this way. But more often than not it is. And, and once that decision is made, once we're willing to accept the loss. Right. That we no longer are in the past. Right. The old is no longer true for us. When we're willing to accept that at a deeper level, then we can open ourselves up to change. Now that's going to still require a lot of commitment because when we're in a transition, so think of a transition as current state to future state through a transition. Yes. So I need to complete the old, then I'm enter into no man's land, so to speak. Right. This is where a lot of the shifts and the creativity happens before I can truly access a new future. And so what happens is the moment that I kind of let go of the old, the body goes into chaos. Yes. That's why we train on resilience. That's why we work with these parts to release emotions from the body. Yes. And so, and as I go through that, I have to create those mindset shifts. I can't create a new future from an old level of consciousness, an old level of perception and thinking. I need to shift the lens that I see the world through in order to create new possibilities. Yes. Otherwise I'm just recreating more of the old. And you know, that could look like leaving a job and then finding another job with the same issue, the same boss, the same whatever. Right. Or relationships. Right. Keep finding the same person. Right. So to speak. Right. Same issues or health. Right. Losing weight, gaining weight. Money. Right. Gain some money. Lose the money, gain some money. You know, the boom, bust kind of deal. And, and that's often what happens with people. So in order to really complete those patterns, we must work with the mental, emotional body. And, and what that means is that we make a decision.

And a decision that involves also ownership. But we realize we are the ones to change, not others. We take ownership. That's the only way to change. It's the only way to create achievable changes through taking ownership of what is self initiated and maintained by us. And of course, moving toward that, taking the actions. It's just easier to take the actions that are aligned with how we want to be when we release the old baggage. Otherwise it's like we're going against the current. It's just harder and takes longer and is exhausting. And that's why when we work with breaking through some of the old patterns, it is easy and it is fun. We feel inspired to take those actions. Right. We still work hard, but it's different. We're going with the current. Yes.

How do you define change?

Well, change is, I guess you would say, right? Point A to point B. It could be due to external circumstances like I had with the layoff or with my husband being accepted to school in the US and needing to move or choosing to move, I should say. Or it could be from within. Right. Like just really feeling unfulfilled. Something that used to be joyful is not anymore or anything else. Right. That internal kind of like, ooh, right. Something's not right. The little whisper, which tends to get louder and louder if we don't pay attention to it. And then we move from one thing to the next. So change is, is, is. It's instantaneous in the sense that, all right, I. I live in this house one day and I live in another house or another city the next day. I'm in this job and I'm in that job. But change does not mean transition, which therefore means that you're not necessarily transforming. Right. You just may have changed, but you haven't really changed on the inside. Right. Your level of consciousness is still the same. So in order to really transform who you are, who you're being, your sense of identity or your contribution in the world to go to those higher levels of consciousness, we. It requires us to go through that transition, the mental, emotional, physical transition.

So what I think I'm hearing is changes. The.

Initial movement, but transformation is the internal.

Is kind of like change is almost like an out, outside thing and transform as an inside.

Different.

Yeah.

You know, the reason I'm saying that is because I know you and I had this conversation that one night is on the. On how many people actually ever really do change. And. And I think that. I think we're talking about the same thing, but it's how we define change. And.

Is it a. Is change that you're helping them with? Is it an external thing, an internal thing? Is it a mindset shift? Is it a physical shift? Or is it all of them? Or like, how do you determine when somebody has changed?

Yeah. So to answer your first question, you know, is it within or is it external? It's both, right? As above, so below. It needs to be both. We can't just change on the external without changing, you know, the inner system. Right. Reintegrating certain parts of us, releasing that which is no longer needed. But we also have to take action. We can't just sit all day and imagine what we want and visualize it and release limiting beliefs. Like, obviously, we've got to take action. It's just that at that point, when we've done that, there isn't the resistance to it. So it just flows more easily. We can access guidance, right. There's a little voice that says, go this way, go this way, go this way. And then we were. We're moving toward what we want, and it feels effortless. Yes. So how do we know when we've changed? Well, it starts. The first manifestation is always a feeling. It's a feeling, right. The things that used to bother us, to really drain us, to trigger us, just don't seem to trigger us anymore. That's because we release some of those deeper attachments, those emotional addictions, if you will, to certain emotions, Right. Like, many of us are addicted to the emotion of shame or sadness, right. Or anger. So when we release those. And we can release those using techniques like timeline therapy, in minutes, right? You can release in 10 minutes all the anger that you've ever felt in your life, Meaning you can think of any event, not access anger at all anymore. Completely neutral. You can remember the event. No emotion, no kinesthetic. Same thing for sadness, fear, hurt, guilt, shame, and so on. And so forth. So when those parts of us are no longer there, when that dense energy is no longer there in the body, then we're able to gain momentum. We're able to move more easily toward what we want. And it feels good, and when it feels better, then we're. We're building momentum. Yes, we can access again, more of that guidance, that heart's intuitive guidance. Yes, there will still be obstacles and yes, there will still be, you know, moments where we don't quite know what we're doing and, you know, we're not quite in future land yet. Keep in mind, we're in the river of change, which can be a very, you know, difficult river to cross sometimes. But when we're in the river and we can manage our emotions, what I call, play the game, the mindset game, then we're able to find some objectivity and create right, and be able to follow the little whispers, right? To. To be like, you know, I don't quite know where it's leading me, but I'm just going to have faith that I'm moving in the right direction. And when we believe.

That we are capable of having what we want and we're worthy of having what we want, meaning it's possible for us and we know what we want. What. What is that higher thing that we're seeking, how we want to feel. It just happens to be that the universe will manifest synchronicities to help us get there. Sweet little synchronicities.

It's funny that what I. Now I'm hearing it differently from what it was when we talked that one night. So Barrett and I met at an event in Scottsdale, and we spent quite a bit of time talking about. About this. And then I thought it'd be great to have you on the podcast to kind of go through this. And here's.

Here's.

I'd love your perspective on this.

Because I.

Have a little different thought on it, which is you don't need to change. You just need to know who you are. And you're almost saying, yeah, what, what you're masking everything with needs to change so that you can release it and then become who you are. And I always my. So what I'm hearing you say, let me see if this is accurate. You have processes and techniques to allow people to release the things that are not serving them, release the things that are not really who they are so that they can then be who they really are, which is where they gain the momentum and can move even faster in the direction that's Effortless.

Yes. Consider who, who defines our sense of self? I just completed a Harvard course called Self and Identity which was all about how we create our sense of self. Right. Because we create that. Yes. And oftentimes that's conditioned. Right. That's something that we, you know, we have events in our lives and oftentimes those events happen early in childhood when we don't have resources. We, we don't know how to get coherent, how to get into an objective perspective. So we make certain decisions and those decisions tend to stick because the body doesn't want to create new programs. It works on efficiency. Yes. So it takes energy and glucose to, to create new programs. So let's say little kiddo, um, I'll use a real example of a, of a past client. Um, she was about two years old, she wanted to drive with her mom somewhere. Mom said, yes, you can come, but only if you don't talk right now. Little kiddo didn't realize maybe mom has a migraine. Maybe mom. Right there's, maybe she's in a rush or whatever, who knows? But that little girl decided I'm not worthy of being heard, I'm not worthy of being seen. Um, and I'm not important. Right. I'm insignificant. Those are some of her core programs. Little kid grows up, becomes an entrepreneur, very, very successful, has a TED talk, gets to interview some of the greats in the world in the personal development field, you know, has a voice, keynote speaker, all that stuff. And none of that fills that little hole of that little girl inside of her that still feels unimportant. So she's on a hamster wheel trying to get something that she can never get from the outside. Because that little two year old girl still doesn't know that she'll be safe. So there's all these protective mechanisms. Say do more, get more, get, you know, get more visible, more, likes more this, none of that heals the little one. And until we accept that and release that, release the beliefs that the little one created in that moment, that woman will never be mentally emotionally free.

Yeah. And when you release.

The.

Things that are not serving you.

The habits or the mindset or where does that leave you?

It leaves you feeling whole. Because what happens is these little parts. Let's talk about the two year old part. Yes. That essentially got frozen in time in that example. That little two year old part gets exiled from the inner system. Yes. We're essentially a series of parts. Yes. We have a self. What is our true self? What you would call our true self and we've got parts. Yes. And so that little two year old part was feeling shame, was feeling not good enough at all of that. And she essentially was put away because that little kid couldn't handle that. Right. So the psyche says I'm going to suppress that. Right. The, the negative emotions on that event until the woman, until the. The person is. Has the resources to be able to manage it, to handle it. Yes. So what happens is that little two year old part got exiled, it got shoved away. Think basement island, right. In a cage, so to speak. Now that little two year old part was ready to be reintegrated back into the system. That usually happens when we have an adverse event in our life. It's the body's way saying it's time, it's time to look under the hood. Yes. Sometimes it comes in the form of a diagnosis. Right. That's when we really ignored the whispers for a long time. So, so when that little girl, so to speak, and I say because it is that two year old girl that released those old attachments. Right. Those old beliefs and those emotions that went with it. Now that part is free. Almost think of a virus being removed. Yes. So that little two year old card part got reintegrated back with the woman. Yes. That's what we call wholeness. That's a state of wholeness. And with the gift that that little girl has, like a gifts of freedom and voice and expression and song and joy and fun. Right. All these beautiful traits that this part came with now are reintegrated back into the woman and she's able to experience much more joy in her life, much more love and all areas of her life improved.

H. Excellent. So maybe give us an example of how that's worked for somebody. Take us through a story of someone who was struggling with whatever it was and they released the b. The beliefs and released the challenges. Obviously you don't have to give us their name, but play it out for us.

I'll give you an example from today, from this morning. So one of my clients, you know, we, we were starting our session today and she was sharing that there have been a few things that have created anxiety in her life. There's been a recent loss of two friends. There has been a good friend of hers who's now in the hospital due to some unexpected thing. Another friend whose grandson is experiencing some, some physical ailments. So she was feeling some anxiety. So we started to work with, with the system assessing where is the anxiety, where is it held? Right. It's throat it's in the chest. Right? Where is it? And we connected with those parts and, you know, and. And that part was a. What she called a new one. It was a newborn, a baby part that was a baby that was feeling really scared of. Of the loss of life.

So the anxiety was stained because of something that happened a long time ago. So we went back and worked with that part. That little baby. With that little baby. We helped that little baby using a technique called havening techniques, which is a psychosensory modality, to release what that little baby was feeling. And, and in doing so, there's more. More to the story of what we did in that scene. But essentially, my client, the adult woman, healed the little newborn baby. Yes. And she was able to get learnings from it. And I don't have my notes handy here, but learnings like, because that little baby felt like she made a bad choice to come here, to come into this world. Like it was a bad choice. Like there's too much pain. And the little baby was saying, why so much pain? Why come here if there's so much pain? Yes. Because there were nuns in the room that were not, you know, very compassionate, all this kind of stuff in the moment she was feeling painful. So to make the long story short, when the adult client, with my help, helped to sue the little one, she released the emotions and she got learnings. What were the learnings? Right. I am worthy. I am, you know, life is good, right? All of these kinds of things. And, and, and I am good, right? I am here to do good. And my client was actually able to take that little one into her current home, show her photos of her family. This is a woman who's very established, very.

Very successful in life.

And so she was able to show her those things and how much she contributes and all the good that she does. And, and that little girl now was playing, right? She's playing with the dog when we completed, and my client now, all the anxiety around all of that just melted away. Melted away. And she came away from the conversation with such a purpose, a focus, but she couldn't get there from that place of anxiety. She needed to release what was really the undercurrents, the underlying stuff that was creating, manifesting as anxiety. So one might even say that those events showed up in her life for her to pause, go inward, right. Really look and see what's happening on the inside, connect with those parts so that she could release those old beliefs and help those parts of her to be welcomed back, to feel whole, to feel Safe to feel rejuvenated, you know, just in love with life.

Is a.

Big part of its safety.

A big part of it is safety. Because all of those protective mechanisms are because they fear our, Our safety and well being. Correct. The highest prime directive of the unconscious mind is to run and preserve the body.

Ah. So whatever we utilized and beliefs we created when we were younger to.

Keep.

Ourselves safe, can man can stay with us and manifest negative things over time? Sometimes positive, probably, but exactly. Positive and negative things that keep us stuck.

Yes. And how do we know we have them? Right? The positive or the not so positive? I, I don't want to call it negative because it's, it has a positive intent. Yes. Those behaviors at an unconscious level are there for. Because it's the best solutions in the moment for our. Sometimes even just for staying alive. Yes. So, you know, so the how do we know is because we look at our life, what parts of our life are aligned with what we want and what parts are not. That is very easily going to give us the answer as to what we need to look at. Because if we know what to do, Gary, like to improve our health, to improve our business, to whatever that is, our relationships, and we're not doing it consistently or we're not getting the results, that means there's something else that we must pay attention to. And it's not difficult. It requires compassion and patience, but it is not difficult because those parts are ready to be healed.

Does it affect everyone? Is there anyone it doesn't affect?

My answer is of course I don't know. But my hallucination is that no. We're here to release those patterns to get completion on these old situations. Right, These old patterns so that we can go through a transition at a higher level of consciousness, radiate more love into the field, raise the collective consciousness and evolve both personally, socially and globally. So I believe that we're all part of this, that we're all part of this system. We're all connected in a web. We also know this. Right? There's research on this and I'm familiar with that because I'm a trainer with The Institute of HeartMath, you know, on social coherence. How, how I feel, you know, is immediately detected by your nervous system, whether you or I are conscious of it or not. Trees feel emotions. Yes. So we're, we're connected. We know this. There's research on animals and trees that, that very able to, to, to detect vibration. And from that place, Gary, that we.

We, we allow ourselves to heal what Needs to be healed and radiate more field, more, excuse me, compassion, more love. Out into the field. We're able to release things. So I can share another quick example if it's helpful for you. So the client right before our conversation is a gentleman and leader in a very large organization and.

Invested in a. In a company that's now going through some liability things, liability issues, without getting into detail. And so he and I, he was feeling really uncomfortable with the fact that there's somebody out there that's angry at him that, you know, it's like a negative thing out there, you know. Plus, he's on the board of this organization, so should it go bankrupt? Right. That's public, you know, and his name is on that. So there were all kinds of feelings. And so what we ended up doing is an ancient Hawaiian technique called hu.

And specifically something called hooponopono, which is a forgiveness technique. We did a visualization. He imagined sending compassion and love to those individuals that are associated with that technique. Excuse me, with that situation that's out of harmony in his life and was able to ask forgiveness and receive forgiveness and cut that cord. And of that, he immediately said, I know the solution. We need to offer more. More assets, more something. There was immediately a solution. He's like, okay, I'm ready to call, you know, to, you know, the. The people involved and the attorneys involved to. To. To create what hopefully will be. I don't know, because this was just a couple hours ago, which will hopefully be a. A more harmonious solution for everybody involved and would not involve bankruptcy to the company. So. So this is what I mean. We cannot create new solutions from an old level of consciousness. Einstein said this. We've got to go inward. We've got to work with the energy. Doing the outside stuff is great and we can get some traction, but it ain't going to heal what's really going in on the inside. So we're doomed to repeat the same patterns.

Love it. Really helpful. Really helpful.

Very.

So last question for you.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given? Or maybe the best piece of advice you've ever given?

You know, it's interesting. The word. The word that came up is love.

And in terms of advice being given about that.

I would say it's a question, not so much advice. It's a question. And it's a question that came out of my work with HeartMath. And the question is, what are. What am I feeding the field right now, like in this moment, even with you right now, Gary, what am I feeding the field? Am I feeding the field fear or am I feeding the field love? And that answer is going to determine everything.

So.

The field as in the universe, or like, what do you mean by the field?

The electromagnetic field around our body, this field that connects you and I and everybody listening. What am I feeding that field? What am I radiating out into the world? And if I'm in a place where I've got limited thoughts, like negative thoughts that don't feel good, or if I'm feeling a negative emotion, I'm radiating something that's of lower frequency out into the field. And what's going to come back to me is something of equal frequency. So the question is, at any moment, how am I feeling? Which another way to ask it is, what am I feeding the field? Am I feeling a pleasant emotion or an unpleasant emotion? And if it's unpleasant, what am I going to do about it? Because I can change it just like that if I wanted to.

Interest so varied. If there are people that are listening that want to connect with you, want to work with you, want to do a session or.

Find you, what's the best way for them to get in contact with you?

Yeah, so a couple of ways. One is Vered V E r e d momentuminstitute.com.

I would say check out the podcast, it's called the Mindset Gain. And they can go to themindsetgain.com or listen on any, you know.

Whether it's itunes or Spotify or any of those platforms, or on YouTube. They can find me on YouTube, Vered Kogan.

And who would be somebody who would be the ideal client that you're looking to work with? Who works best with you?

So at this point, I would say it's me and a team of people that I work with.

Okay.

These days I do more training and speaking. I do work with some, primarily CEOs. Just.

That'S kind of where the referrals tend to tend to be. My. I don't really advertise much, thank you for asking. But generally I don't advertise much. So it's a word of mouth. And so it's in those circles that I tend to work, you know, with clients in. But I would say.

Is number one to just kind of pause and say, what are some areas in my life that are not serving me and am I holding on to something that is no longer serving me? Right. Is it time to let go of something? Some programs, maybe some beliefs that I have about myself, some old thoughts and emotions and if the answer is yes, to reach out and we'll find someone that can help. And it doesn't take long and it is not difficult, but it does require compassion and, and, and a willingness to, to do the work.

Is it typically a one time session or is it typically like an ongoing thing or how does maybe question?

It depends on what the issue is. It depends on what the issue is. So sometimes it can be a one time session for minor things releasing an attack like let's say an emotion, let's say somebody got laid off or there's a death or something like that and want to release some emotions. That can be done typically in one session, maybe one or two, depending on how ready the person is and how ready their unconscious mind is to let it go. But I would say for breakthrough sessions, what we would call full breakthrough sessions, it can be done in sometimes two or three days or it can be stretched out in about three months depending on how we, we, we decide for it to go. But the process is the same either way.

Awesome. Well varied. Thank you so much for being here. I was looking forward to our conversations based on our first conversation and, and that was really interesting and really helpful. So I look forward to staying in contact. I know we will. And thank you so much for being here.

My pleasure. And I do want to share that your assessment is fantastic and I invite people to take it. I invite coaches to use it with their clients. It is a fantastic way to start conversations to look at some of those deeper things that are underlying and driving some of the behaviors that people may not want to hold on to or to do more of what they do want to hold on to. And so really just a shout out for you, all of your teachings and of course the beautiful assessment that you created.

Thank you so much, Verit.

I really hope you enjoyed today's episode and that through today's guest, you heard how important it is to know your why and how impactful it can be in your life and the lives of those around you. Be sure to head over to whyinstitute.com and discover your why today. Remember, the more you know about yourself, the more you'll know about others. I'm Dr. Gary Sanchez and I'll see you on the next episode.