WHY NOT Wednesday With Angela Aja

There's a certain kind of coach who believes what we believe.

Who leads people to greatness, who gets people unstuck.

Who unlocks all of your passion. A coach who helps people discover what drives them to tap into their superpowers. Then knowing your why is the first step to untapped potential.

To focus.

To breakthroughs.

A coach who's looking for a better way.

Are you that coach?

Foreign.

Hello everyone and welcome to why Not Wednesday. I am so excited to welcome our guest today. Let me tell you a little bit about Angela. Angela Asia is the founder and CEO of Angela Asia Coaching, Angela Asia Ministries and best selling author of Summon to Soar, five stages of the Rise of a Woman and the co founder of the Flutter, a virtual empowerment center for kingdom minded women of faith. She is an ordained minister. She is a professional certified coach with the International Coaching Federation and a successful businesswoman with over 30 years of mentoring and coaching experience, training heart centered, faith centric leaders to shape impactful lives for themselves and their communities. After a devastating family setback, Angela has overcome her own adversity, taken advantage of opportunities before her and turned tragedy into triumph. And I just love that phrase, Angela and growth and expansion. Angela's resilient, inspiring and spirit led in all of her endeavors, empowering others to rise up and soar to new heights as they step into their higher calling. So without further ado, I'm going to introduce Angela Asia. Hello Angela and welcome.

Hi.

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

I am so glad you're here. And I know those of you who are listening, you can see that Angela has got a bit of a sore throat. There is something going around because I had a sore throat until Tuesday, which was yesterday. And Angela is still recovering. So we know you're soldiering on today, which is what you do and what you teach your clients. Right, Angela?

That's right. That's correct.

Oh, I love, I love that. I love that Linaire is listening all the way from New Zealand. Welcome Lanaire. And Jerry Fletcher and TJ Davidson from, from Texas is saying hello. You know, you're, you're a Texas gal. And, and you know what, Angela? I want to talk about the conversation you and I had because when I met you, I, I've got to tell you, there are people we meet. I met someone like this. I posted about Melissa yesterday. There's some people you leave that conversation and you like want to go run through a wall. And you did that for me. The story that you have about your transformation. So I'M going to start with, with that story. Tell us about that family tragedy and how you overcame that, because I think our listeners will definitely be interested in that.

Sure. Well, I knew that I had a call in my life since I was in the third grade. Can you hear me okay?

Yes, ma'. Am.

Okay, good. Because my voice is kind of going in and out. But I was raised in a ministry family. My dad was a pastor, and my, they always included the children in their endeavors. And so ministry was a way of life for us. And I knew that I had a call in my life to help people since I was in the third grade. So I stayed true to that call. And I, you know, I, I just prayed and I said, you know, I'll go, God, I'll go wherever you. If you want me to go on the other side of the world and be a missionary, that's what I'll do.

Right.

And I stayed true to that calling. I was a leader in my youth group and, and I, then I ended up going to a Bible college and I met a fiery young, young preacher. And so that kind of changed everything. And so I got married and. But he wanted the same life that I did. Just a life of serving people and helping people. And we did that through the church. And so I thought I was living my dreams. You know, we were winning awards from the city for helping crime drop because of our inner city work. You know, I had a huge women's ministry and a, a children's ministry. I trained leaders and I just thought I was living my dream. Right. And after 25 years of marriage in the ministry, my now ex husband walked away from his faith and his family. And my world got turned upside down. And I literally went from living in a beautiful Texas ranch to living on the floor of an apartment with no furniture with my four kids.

Wow.

We played Yahtzee on the floor. We ate on the floor. And I went from wearing Rolex with diamonds to standing in the food stamp line. Yeah, I went. Yeah. I went from speaking from the pulpit and training leaders to selling windows door to door.

Yeah.

And so, I mean, that. My world just got turned upside down, but I, you know, I stayed just so swirling and, and in my pain and, and, you know, I just was so devastated. I was really stuck as the victim in my own story.

Sure.

And I remember hearing a. I hearing about a life coach. And so I connected with this woman and our. I, you know, I was hearing, was in the food stands using food stamps.

To pay for our food.

Right. I hired my first Life coach.

Wow.

And I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want to. I was embarrassed. Like, I couldn't even barely pay my bills. But I hired a life coach. I thought, everybody's going to think I'm crazy. But something inside of me just knew that she had what I needed to move forward.

Right.

And I just was so determined, you know, I didn't even realize what it was back then, but I had just such resilience. And I was so determined this was not going to take me out, that this was not the ending to my story. And so she asked me, she said, you know, here, I. I had just been rejected by a man. I had been rejected by my community. And to be honest, I felt rejected by God. I. Because I thought I'd given my life to God to serve him. And how could he let this happen to me?

Because we all hear the stories.

If you do, you know, if you do everything right, everything's going to turn out good because.

But what about when you do everything.

Right and your world still falls apart?

Yes. That's. That's a tough lesson. And I'm sure you deal. You see that? Yeah. Tell us more.

Yeah.

So that's. That's my story. And so, you know, I. But I was just determined. And so this here, this coach, she comes in and she says. She asked me a question that changed my life forever. And she said, what was your contribution?

Ah, that just made me so mad.

I thought, how can you ask me.

After I've been abandoned and rejected? How can you ask me what was.

My, you know, contribution? I was the one that was done wrong.

Right.

But I sat with that question, and I realized that I had morphed to a false version of who I was created to be. I didn't know my why. I didn't know why I was here, what, you know, what I was here to do, and who I was here to help. And so I just had created a life of who I was supposed to be.

Right.

And it. And so that I didn't have control over what someone else was, Had.

Would do to me, but I did.

Have control over that. And that began my journey. I realized if I can help women get to know who they are, why they're here, what they're here to do, then I can.

You know, if. If I could do that for myself, then I could do that for other people. And. And so I became a life coach. And. And then after a while, I knew that it was time for me to write a book.

Yeah.

And that's where Summon to Soar came from.

I love that because Summon to Soar is a great book. I've got it here. You know, I. I am lucky. I'm blessed that I get books from authors and I get autographed books. So I was so happy when I received your book number. It's now number three on the list. It's so it's coming up and I can't wait to read it. Angela, what is someone going to get if they leave, if they read Summon to Soar? What, what, what's the, what's the message?

Sure.

Well, so the message is, it's called Summon to Soar, the five stages of the rise of a woman. But this is really for men and women. I have so many men who have read this pink book with butterflies because it's the human journey.

It is just the human experience. And we all have an opportunity to go through five stages to make our biggest impact. And so those stages mimic the caterpillar to the butterfly. And what I realized is that as I started to study the butterfly, you can see I'm kind of known as the butterfly lady here. Did never, never expected to become the butterfly lady. But the revelation that I found about the butterf and in relation to our own human journey was so incredible. And, you know, you may have been taught in kindergarten probably that the caterpillar turns into the butterfly, but it's not true.

The. The DNA of the butterfly is trapped inside of the caterpillar. And that caterpillar, the encasement that is holding back her, the DNA of who she was created to be, has to be.

Just dissolved in order that who she was created to be can really come forth. And so I found that, you know, as women and men, that the DNA of our purpose is inside of us. The butterfly version of who we were created to be is inside of us. But we have to be willing to let go of that outer encasement, the fears, the failures, the imperfections that, that keep who. We have to be willing to let go of who we've become so that we can become who we were created to be. And so as the DNA of the butterfly is as the. Sorry, as the caterpillar.

She goes into the cocoon and she is literally dissolved. And they. They actually call it pupa soup.

Right. I remember that from the story.

She's liquefied, and so. But that releases the DNA. But here's what's interesting. The whole time that she's in the cocoon, she cannot excrete. So you heard me right? She can't go to the bathroom. She's swimming in her own stuff. And how many times do we feel like that? Like we're busy, we're helping other people. You know, we're changing lives, but we are still swimming, and we feel like we're swimming in our own stuff, right? And so it's really surrendering to the process of letting, you know, letting all that become the fertilizer to our. Our deepest authenticity. And so here. Here she has in. She has endured the cocoon, this little caterpillar. She has let go of who she was, had become. She has faced all of her stuff, and now she has become this beautiful butterfly, but she's still trapped in the cocoon. And so she's all wrapped up around herself, right? And now she's in a tight place. And I think we get that in those same tight places as human beings and business owners. And so the only way for her to kick, to get out of the cocoon is to kick her way out. So she begins to kick and kick and kick and break through is hard work. And some people get to the point of enduring the process right at the point of breakthrough, and they give up, because breakthrough is so hard. But if you endure the process, you. You're able to fulfill that calling on your life that is to soar. And so finally, once she breaks out of the cocoon, she's laying there on the ground. She's exhausted, and her wings are wet and heavy and gooey, but she just is like, wait, I feel like I'm supposed to just flap these things. I don't know what they do, but she starts flapping her wings. Would you believe that as she starts to flap her wings, this is pure science. It forces all of the excretion that she'd been swimming in the whole time into her wings and hardens. So all the stuff you go through is what's meant to give your wings the strength to fly.

Wow. Then that. That story is so amazing, Angela. And I love the way you talk about it, because one of the things you talk about is your vision is a world where every person turns their pain into purpose and their purpose into a platform that changes the world. And you talk about the fact that you know, your mess is your message. That's part of your mission statement, right?

Yeah.

To walk people through a process of turning their mess into a message and their message into a movement that leaves a legacy. So, yes, when we talk about that, you know, you. There's so much there to unpack, because discovering your why One of the things we talk about is discovering your why is not about changing who you are. It's about being who you were meant to be.

That's it.

That's it. That's the butterfly story.

It's figuring out why you do what you do, how you go about it, and what it is that people can count on from you. And we did that with you, Angela, and it resonated so much with me. I want to make sure and give you the opportunity to talk about your why operating system. Because your why is to build relationships based upon trust. And so how. And. And your how is mastery, which means you dig deep and learn and learn the nuances. You learn about the little things that can make a big difference in order to build that trust. And then your what is to contribute to the success of others. So that's that DNA that was hidden inside you.

Yeah.

And then you bro, you used it. You. You got to that lowest point in your life, and then you broke out. And now you're using your gifts to help others. So tell me, tell me how that. That yos of trust, mastery, and contribute has shown up in your life.

Well, you know, our brain is designed to protect us and keep us safe.

You know that.

And so our brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and imagined. It only goes by what we hear.

Right.

And so that. That trust factor is really a big piece of the puzzle for me because it's not. It. It's. It's becoming. You know, the. The butterfly story is the becoming. And it's becoming trust. That. That trust is what I'm called to, one of the things I'm called to create in the world. But as I contribute, what I contribute can't be received without. To the fullest. Without trust.

Yes.

But when I say, you know, I am going to lose five pounds then, and I don't do it, then my brain.

Begins to not trust my words.

Right.

But when I begin to keep my word to myself, my brain knows that my words mean business. And that's how you use your words to create. And so that trust is. It's.

You know, I.

A lot of women that I work with, they say they have trust issues.

Yes.

And one of the things I teach them is that, you know, that's just a mirror. What are the ways that you're not trusting yourself? What are the red flags that you overlooked? So trust is really an inward.

Yes. So you're using it in a different way, which I love. Because you want to trust yourself self.

Right. Yes. But then it produces the outward trust because who I am is the way I show up in the world.

Right.

So that trust. What about, you know, because I asked you, you know, how did it feel to you when you discovered your why of trust?

Well, it just made sense that it's, it just oozes out of every part of, of my daily walk, my daily routine. I used to be the one that was always late. And I realized, you know, that's not the imitation I want to be. That's not what I want to cause on the earth. And so what do I need to do? I need to be trust on the earth.

And, and the way I show up in the world is the way that I am. So it comes back to me and it just, so it just made everything make sense that this is. Yeah, I'm living on purpose.

Yeah, living on purpose. I love that. So, you know, one of the things we talked about in the pre show and, and we're gonna run out of time, guys. I know Angela is amazing, but I want to make sure and ask this question because you've spent the last six months, I posted about it, you know, talking to women's conferences across the country. And one of the things you've noticed from a lot that you're hearing from women is that they're putting themselves last.

Yes.

They're not the priority. And so you're hearing from them that they, they need help making sure they prioritize that. So tell me about that journey the last six months.

Well, as I've been speaking and over the last 10 years of my life, I realized that I was not, I was putting myself last on my own list. And I realized this is a problem that women are experiencing abroad and, and, and because we are big hearted, we're kind hearted, we're givers, we're nurturers. And so putting ourselves last on the list seems like, you know, the, for me, raised in a, in a home, religious background, you know, it was like the spiritual thing to do is put yourself last. And so I just remember that I had built my life.

You know, taking care of everyone else and, and putting myself on completely on the back burner to the point where I didn't know who I was. And so as I've been working with women for the last 10 years, you know, I realized this is because we don't know ourselves, because we don't know our why, because we don't know who we are, why we're here and what.

We'Re here to do.

How can we how can we.

You know, put ourselves, pull ourselves to the front burner, you know.

Right.

It. Without knowing who we are at our core? And so it has really become a passion. And then not just women, but leaders. The more I speak around the nation, you know, leaders, I always say that, you know, as leaders were visionaries, and so we get this big vision, but our inner foundation is smaller than our vision. So we sabotage our vision to fit on our inner foundation.

Right.

And so that's. It's the same with just with women in our everyday lives. You know.

We want to take care of everyone else, but it really is just the more going back to a good old Bible verse.

Yeah.

And the second greatest commandment in the entire Bible is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Yeah.

And so what I realized is that the more you love yourself, the more you love your neighbor.

You know, a lot of people forget that part. Right. That's the important part. You got to love yourself. You got to take care of you first so you can take care of others. And so that if you start with that love is what I'm hearing that for yourself and take care of yourself, you're going to be able to give more because you can build that foundation bigger.

And how do you. How do you love something? You get to know it. So you get to know your.

Why I love that.

Angela.

Get to know, you know your. Your what?

Yeah.

You have an acronym that I want to ask you about. It's called rise. Tell us about what RISE means. Because I like the. The meaning behind it. I want to share it with the. With the viewers and listeners.

Sure.

So to me, I, you know, I see kind of an end result is. And I'm, you know, looking for men and women who want to.

Be resilient, to use their resilient story to make a bigger impact. So the R is resilience, and then the I is intentional. And to be intentional about, you know, what's happening right now and building toward that. That dream. And then the S stands for spirit led. In other words, you know, trusting yourself again. When I'm working with women, one of the biggest things they say is, you know, they don't trust themselves because they've let themselves down in the past. And so. But yet, you know, we have to trust our heart, trust our gut, especially as a. An entrepreneur. Right. Sometimes we're not always following conventional wisdom.

Right.

And that's where the biggest breakthroughs come, you know, is when we step outside of conventional wisdom. And so we have to trust ourselves.

Yeah.

Even if we've been disappointed in the past, and then just to be empowered to leave a legacy. And so that, that's the acronym is just, you know, calling out people who are on the rise. Women who are on the rise.

Well, Angela, you know, one of the things we're going to have to do is we're going to have to bring you back because I have so many more questions that I want to ask you, and I know we're running short on time. One of the. I'll ask you a question with regards to how you've been able through your mastery of so many different platforms. I mean, you've gone from living in that apartment with your four kids and to building a fantastic business with, you know, where you're coaching 25 to 50 people on multiple platforms. So you scaled your business. What, what, what was the, what was it that led you to make those breakthroughs? What, what would you say is your biggest breakthrough you had that allowed you create that multimedia empire that you've created?

I love that.

Thank you. Well, you know, really, it's just.

To bring it right back to the butterfly. Like, I just decided to own the butterfly version of myself. And I just decided to quit apologizing for the call of my life. And I quit.

I quit.

I decided that I was no longer going to hide in the cocoon and that I was going to endure the process. And I just decided I want to leave a legacy. I want my life to be a mastery that is. Is left behind for others to follow. And that was, you know, it's just that decision. And sometimes we're so afraid to decide, especially if you're a people pleaser, like I was, you know, like I was so afraid to decide. And what if I make the wrong decision? What if I fail?

Yes.

And I just thought, you know what? I'm just going to decide to be who I want to be. I guess I'll tell this quick story to close it out, but at the end of the book, I talk about, also in, throughout my book, I talk about Queen Esther in the Bible, how she went through these same five stages. It's a beautiful story if you've never read it. And so, you know, Queen Esther was this little orphan girl that got chosen to become queen, right. And so she had to begin to see herself. She had to let go of that caterpillar, abandoned, orphan version of herself, and she had to become the queen. In her mind, she didn't see herself that way. So she was a Jewish woman and she was hiding her identity while she was Living in the kingdom, right? And so her uncle said, hey, our people are about to be annihilated. You need to use your position for this moment to save our people.

Right?

So she said, okay. She threw a banquet for the king to butter him up, Right? And he had already told her, you have everything. You. You can have up to half the kingdom. I love you so much.

Right.

And so she. She's hard. He's already said that to her. But she gets on the ground and she. If you read the story, she throws a fit. She gets emotional. She's trying to use her emotions to manipulate to get what she wants, right? And he tells her, the Bible says he extends. The king extends his golden scepter and says, get up and go write it the way you want it to look. And that's what I decided to do. I decided to rewrite the ending of my story. And even though the chapters in the middle looked, like, terrible.

Yes.

I decided to go write it the way I wanted it to look. And then that became my vision.

Wow. Angela. Write it the way you want it to look. I'm going to say can. Do you mind if we end on that note?

Why not?

Thank you so much, Angela. It has been a pleasure to talk to you. I know you just reached out a ton of people that are listening. Not everybody that's listening is commenting, but I know Hugh Hornsby is a big believer in. I'm going to put his comments here. The more you love yourself, the more you love your neighbor. But he's a big believer in writing down our goals. I think all of us who are in. In this. In this profession, in this. In this community of helping people raise themselves up believe in the importance of writing those things and writing that ending the way you did. And you know what? It doesn't matter what the story. Story is up till now.

That's right.

What you're going to do from here forward. So thank you, Angela, for joining us today.

Thank you.

Feel better. I hope you get your voice back. And I look for a return invitation. We want to have you back and talk some more.

Sounds good. Thank you so much.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone, and we'll see you next week for why not Wednesday?

Bye.