WHY NOT Wednesday with Danica Trebel

There's a certain kind of coach who believes what we believe.

Who leads people to greatness, who gets people unstuck, who unlocks all of your passion. A coach who helps people discover what drives them to tap into their superpowers.

That knowing your why is the first step to untapped potential.

To focus.

To breakthroughs.

A coach who's looking for a better way.

Are you that coach?

Hello, everyone, and welcome to why Not Wednesday. I'm Dan Dominguez and I'm the host of why Not Wednesday. And I cannot wait to introduce our guest today. We are joined today by Danica Treble. Danica spent her life trying to find a place where she fit in. Somewhere that she felt safe. She remembers being a young girl who was told what to think rather than being taught how to think, especially about her identity. Also known as the Li identity. Danica worked with Broadway actors on Hamilton and trained with NFL players with the Carolina Panthers. She's currently linking arms with leaders including parents, the world's leading influencers, and coaches who believe success and motivation start with knowing, communicating, and living their why. Her joy comes from helping people do what they do better. Started starting with feeling safe and confident in how they are wired. And she spells that W H Y R E D. So let me welcome Danica Patrick. Danica Trouble. They've been doing that all day. Danica, do you get that all the time?

All the time.

You know, it's probably not a bad thing, right?

I've heard she's not as nice as she presents herself to be, so.

And we have. We have a lot of folks in Indianapolis, so we'll have to get that verified. Danica Trebel, welcome to the show. How are you?

I'm great, thank you.

Thanks so much for being on. You know, it's been a fast and furious journey with you since you became a wise certified coach. I love the way you describe what you do as the why Detector and helping people go from their li denity to their why identity. So thank you so much for. For sharing that with us. I know you and Lynn Everard are probably sharing messages back and forth because you guys are so good at coming up with creative ways of using the why. Tell me about your what. What does it mean to be the why Detector, Danica?

Oh, well, I just like the title says, I help people go from their lie identity to their why identity. Because with if we. I was thinking about this earlier as the better way that I am. I was like, how can I make this sound better when something is moved from the Essence of its. The reason it was created, or it's. It's the. The purity of its identity, then it. It doesn't function the way it was designed or created. And so when we know what our why is, when we know our how and our what, that goes along with that, right? Then we can just show up better, more powerfully in the world and. And get done the things we are here to do. And if we're taught wrong, then we're living the lie identity. And we're always going to be trying to fill that void, right? And then when we know who we are and why we do what we do and how we do it and what we bring into the world, everything starts making sense and we can just start really, just. Just living the life we were created to live.

And you. You mentioned earlier. So your why is better way. So let's. Let's do what we always do, right? Let's. Let's tell the world who Danic is. So your why is to find a better way, your how is to simplify, and your what is to contribute. I think you have a twin in Liz Wendling who's listening. She put a comment in the. In the chat. She said, what a great bio. Go, Danica. And Liz is. If you have not met Liz, reach out to her. Danica, she's an amazing sales coach. I think you. You will enjoy having a conversation with her. And I think you guys share the same yos. So be being twins. I think it'll be. It'll be a good conversation. So tell me about the yos of better way, Simplify and contribute.

Oh, you know, you're going to have to give me more parameters for that. What do you need a better way person? That's. That's. That's too much of a blank sheet.

Yeah, well, tell. Tell me what. What it. What it meant to you when. When you found out your why.

Oh, when I found out my why? Oh, my gosh.

It just that I exhaled. I literally exit. We were on the phone together. When you. When you heard what. What happened? I. I felt seen, heard, understood, like I mattered. Finally, a way to be able to express the things that I'd had. Because I'd always been looking for someone to do that for me. And when I went through the Yoshi, it was objective and not subjective. And it wasn't like I had anyone whispering in my ear, oh, you're more of this than you are that. It was just, this is it. In an ideal world, this is what it would be for your answer. And Then, boom, it laid out exactly what I've always been saying, but just not in such a concise and accurate way.

Yeah, you know, I often hear. And so I've got. Look, I've got to take in. You know, we do this, Danica, because you've listened for a while. So Lynn, who is our, our resident wiologist. I mean, this guy comes up with some great why were. Why you? Ways to use why. TJ Davidson, who always says hello. So. Thank you, TJ but Liz has some news for you. The why detector.com domain is available, so you better go get that as soon as we get off the phone here. And Joe Ake says, oh, I stole his hat. You know, Joe, you left that here in Albuquerque, so I'm going to have to find a way to get it to you. And then, of course, Bruce, Captain Kirk is on. So, Bruce, thanks for being on. So let's, let's start with the title of the show. The title of the show is why Not Wednesday. So, Danica, tell us about your biggest why not moment.

Oh, okay. Well, there was a time when.

I had a why not opportunity. And it was.

It was a. It actually also answers the, the question of what, what it meant to. Well, let me just answer this question.

Sure, sure. Tell us about your. Your biggest why not moment.

I love this.

Yeah, yeah, you're building up the suspense.

Yes, it was. It was a while back when I was in the throes of bulimia and I was responsible for the lives and the futures of two little humans named Jack and Luke. And those are my. My fellows. And they were 8 and 6 when I realized, in one of the worst bulimic hangover hazes I had ever been in, that these little guys were going to end up like me if I kept doing to them what was done to me. And that was a fate worse than death for me. And so when the opportunity for my boys to live with their dad came up, the answer was not only why not but I can't not.

Right.

And then I only saw my kid. It was a few handful of times over those next six years. And then after that, another why not opportunity stared me in the face. And it was another one that I couldn't not take. And so I went back to the city where my boys were then 13 and 11. I hit the reset button on our relationships. And without having a course or a title or a system, we just started communicating. And I promised them that I would be the example of what respect looks like.

Right.

And feels like. And giving them that safe space that I never had to learn how to make decisions and lending a hand if we needed to, if some messes happened. And then surprisingly, they never did because they were living in their yos without even knowing it was a thing.

Right. Fantastic. And so how did you hit. How did you hit the reset button? I mean, there are a lot of us out here that, you know, we, we. We're working on relationships or we want to rebuild a relationship or reconnect with someone. How did the reset button with your kiddos?

I told them that's what I wanted to do. I said, I have no idea how to do this. Never been a parent of parents of kids this age before, and you've never been kids this age before. So how about we talk? How about if I don't understand something, I tell you. How about if you don't understand something, you tell me? One thing, though, that we did that really, really helped to. So that we didn't blur the lines was I promised them I wanted to be their friend, too, because friends, their peers clearly didn't know or have the experience that someone my 29 years does.

So I told them that I would, when I was talking to them as their mom, I would say, hey, I'm putting on my mom hat. And then if I was their friend, I would say, hey, I'm putting on my friend hat. And we all, we still do that. I'm like, hey, friend hat time. And we, we just communicated. And in that space, we were able to learn each other, learn how to listen, and then just. Just have that space to, to grow in that relationship where we could. Where we could just talk.

So I've got to ask this question just because which one did you enjoy most? The mom hat or the. Or the friend hat? Because I can see where, as a better way person, this is a better way to do it, right? So there are some times when we just got to put on, hey, I got to set down the law on mom. Yeah. But you know what? You know, we're going to the amusement park. Let's be friends.

Yeah.

Which one did you like better?

That's a great question.

They both served so well, right? So now, though, I think both, there's not a. It's not an either or, it's a both.

And.

I love that. Matt Kenyon says, great work, Danica. Focusing on connection and communication is the secret. So let's show that that comment. Thank you so much, Matt, for, for joining and for the comment. So, Nanica, you've been with us for a Little. Little while now you've been using the yos. How have you incorporated the tools and the teachings and the mindset of why into your business?

Great question. As I said earlier, the objectivity of the yos gave me permission to just express, like I said, always, what I knew about myself, my y identity, rather than having been told or coached how to feel and someone saying that I was wrong or all of the pain that was attached to that identity. And when I went through the yos.

I felt like Julie Andrews on the mountaintop and the sound of music. I was like, this is it. This is what I have found. And so now what I love to do is, is is help coaches and leaders onboard their teams and their clients.

Right.

Using the yos so that everybody knows their. Their own language. Their. Their soul language, I call it. And it's not behavioral. It's. It's how they're wired. W h y apostrophe rd and when each other. When everybody knows each other's language, then they can stack them and move people around to get them in the right places. And. And it just really helps everybody hit the ground running for what it is they have to do next.

So we had all the coaches in town for three days a couple of weeks ago, and I love for you to talk a little bit more about that onboarding that you do or reorg their teams because you do that using the yos once everybody knows each other's language. Tell me about that process and how that's worked.

Well, I will give an example of how it's worked in just me, with me and my. One of my business partners.

Sure.

So my. My how is simplify. And his is mastery.

Right?

Polar opposites.

Yes.

And so it's beautiful because I'll be like, hey, I need you to look this up. I need you to pull this apart, dig into this, find all the holes, loopholes, while that. And then just hand it to me when you have just the facts or. And then I can go implement it. And so when each person on a team knows their. Their language and then the language of the people that they're working with, then they can do the same thing. And that's what I meant by stacking the wise because that same person's yos is trust. What did I just say? Mastery and contribute. Or maybe it's contribute, mastery, trust. And what's beautiful is with a trust, I know whatever he says he's going to do, there is. And he's proven that time and again. I knew that before he went through the yos and yos just backed it up. And then with contribute, of course, everything he does is how do we help move humanity forward.

Right.

And so knowing each other's language, and there are times when I'm able to say, dude, can you just. Your mastery is stifling my simplify right now. And he doesn't get offended. He's like, oh, you're right. Thank you for telling me that. You know, and then he can say, hey, I needed a little more details with. With me. It's. It's beautiful to know each other's soul language, as I call it.

I. I love that you're talking about two. Two wines that, you know, a lot of people would say they're. They're almost polar opposites. Right. We, We. We like to say people who simplify like to simplify the complex. And people with the Y of mastery like to complicate the simple. Not in a bad way.

Right.

But they will take something really simple and dig into it and learn more. You know, I was working with the coach once, Danica, you'll appreciate this. He was a fitness coach, and he said, so how many movements, how many steps do you think there are in a bench press? I said, well, you. You take the bar off the bar, and then you pull it down, you pull it back up. Two, three, put it back. That's four. And he said, oh, no. He's like, there's. There's measuring there. There's the grip, then there's the left hand grip, then there's the right hand grip. And. And he had broken this down into like, 35 steps.

Yeah.

Versus, you know, you. And I might think of it as a simplifier. You're like, three steps, grab the bar, pull it, push it down, pull it back up, you're done.

Right, Exactly.

And so. But understanding that that's the way his mind thinks gives you the grace to understand, hey, you're going there. And we don't really need this for this discussion because there's a time and a place for simplicity. Yeah. And there's a time and a place for mastery. Right?

Yeah.

And so depending on what you need at the time. But I love that you and your. And your. And your colleague are communicating better because of it. I want to make sure and give Jason Atencio a shout out because it's his first time listening to why Not Wednesday. So, Jason, thank you for joining and welcome. And you picked a good time. We have a great guest today in Danica, so tell me about this. And you kind of mentioned it a little bit in how you work it with your kiddos, but you haven't talked about how this, the yos, learning your yos and the yos of the people around you has impacted your personal life.

Oh, okay. I love this one also. And if I may, I will read you what I haven't journaled in this specific journal for a really long time and I wrote this this morning and it it it applies to this question. So it says why know your why do something your future self will thank you for? Entrepreneurship and social media have gotten so businessy pitchy served for the sake of getting whether more leads, referrals, clients, whatever. And I didn't proof this before. I'm this is raw. What heavy. Oh, it's gotten so business heavy that we as a whole have moved away from the fuel that makes everything we do keep running. And that's relationships. The phrase know, like and trust has become almost a cliche, with trust being a say that say what you want in the post so that they can trust you in this situation and the reason for knowing your why, how and what is imperative because your future self has to step away from your bit. If your future self has to step away from business for us a bit and handle a relationship situation such as taking care of your parents where all of your life issues, enjoys, started or didn't, knowing how you're wired and how to stay within those guard rails will help you know how to better navigate the unchartered waters to get through the things that no one ever taught us in school.

Or business or entrepreneurship. And so why while knowing how to start, scale and succeed in business is important, it's secondary to knowing how to be successful in relationships. And that starts with feeling safe in knowing and expressing your whole who your future self will. Thank you for that.

Wow.

And that's raw. First of all, thank you for sharing right out of your journal. I know that's very personal, but there was so much in there to unpack. You started with the fact that you want to do something that your future self will thank you for. And then you went into some some more of that detail.

You talked about some of the things that that we that we do, right? And whether they're authentic. I think authenticity is so underrated, right? Are you doing what you do from a place of authenticity? And so I think when you talk about where you come from, from a place of helping people find a better way, finding better ways and sharing them with others, simplifying their life and ultimately contributing to their Success, that's what you're driven by, and that's what, that's what people can expect from Danica. And then you also said, it's your who. And a lot of people say it's. It's, it's not, it's not, it's not. It's who you are that's important. Right. It putting the right people in the right seats. And you've talked about that with the clients that you work with. How's it change? How has it changed your audience? I know you're active on social media, you're active on a couple of platforms. How has communicating your yos helped you connect with more people who are looking for what it is that Danica brings?

Yet another great question.

Actually has taken. So I, I, I say that sometimes marketing is like being on Tinder. You have to go out and say, so it's like, hey, this is. But no longer do we have to Tinder to get clients. We put out there what we believe, who we are, and, and people can like it or not.

Yeah.

When we have that, that confidence, again, that it was given to us objectively, not subjectively.

Right.

And it is our why identity, and it's, it's the verbiage that we've known but never been able to express. And we're now in that place where it's like, oh, this is me. And I can be confident and comfortable in within these guardrails. And then I don't have to settle for somebody who could be a client, because then that's more energy for everyone that's being exerted, and it's not necessarily somebody who's ready to be in that space. And so it just, it just helps align beliefs and it simplifies everything.

Yes. So the simplicity of it, obviously, it strikes you. So tell. You know, I'd love to, I'd love to share this story. I know the answer, but I think the audience would, would probably enjoy it. Tell us how you learned about Y Institute and what made you decide to join.

Well, the short answer is you.

We were in. Dan and I were in another group together, and I was helping get together a.

What do we call it? Not a workshop. A workshop. Thank you. And he asked me if I had ever gone through the yos or knew anything about it. And I said, well, no, but I'm here to help. And so he ran me through the YOS, and within those 10 minutes, I knew that this was the answer I had been looking for for literally my whole life. And I had spent.

Hundreds of Thousands of dollars shed countless tears and years of frustration trying to find a way to make it marketable to say, I help people remember who and who they were before the world told them who they weren't and live that life. And now I can say, hey, I have the yos. Let's do this, because that's what. And it. It was. It was so great. And so we did our yos to help me get ready for the workshop.

Right.

And over the weekend, I became certified.

I remember you were one of the. One of the fastest to get through the training, Danica. You went through that really quickly. And then we obviously met afterwards to start talking about how to. Your business plan and what you're going to do and how you're going to use this to make a difference in the lives of the clients you work with. So we're thankful that you're here. Love your energy, love your activity. You're always Johnny on the spot. I can't believe it took us that long to get you on after all that time. So Lynn Everett says, awesome. And then Jason has a question. We're gonna go ahead and put that one on because, Danica, I bet you have an answer for him. He says, is there a why test that I can suggest to my boss? And would something like this benefit a sales team in the construction field? So rather than me answering it, I'm going to. I'm going to. I'll answer the first part, and I'm going to let you answer the second part. So the first part, Jason, is there. We call it the why discovery. It's not a test. It's not a quiz. It's not an assessment. Because in a test, you know, if we take a test, we expect you either pass or you fail. You don't pass or fail the why discovery. You just find out more about yourself. So there is a wide discovery. And you can just DM me and I'd be glad to talk to you about what you need and put you in touch with the right coach in your. In your geographic area or. Danica, would something like this benefit a sales team in the construction field?

Yes.

Simple, simple answer. There is no either or, or both. And it is. Yes, it would. And I actually owned a paint contracting company for a while, so I'm familiar with the construction and contractors and the sales side of it. And yeah, absolutely. It would benefit so much. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, Jason, just to take off on that, I'm actually going to be at a sales leaders conference next week with the Selling from the Heart team is putting on a conference in Fort Worth. And so we're going to be talking to sales leaders. Exactly. About how to use the yos. Jackie, Joy and myself are going to be presenting on how to use the yos to communicate better with sales team. So Jason would love to have a conversation with you and get you in touch with one of our amazing coaches to get that done for you. So that being said, Danica, what would you say to someone, to a coach or a consultant or a creative agency that's considering adding the yos discovery to their tool belt?

That's a loaded question.

So being a better way simplify person, I can promise you, like I said, I've spent decades looking for a better, more marketable way to say who I was and how I do it and paid those hun. I'm not exaggerating. Hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Right.

To. To find that that simple, better way. Better simple way to do it and to just help people feel seen, heard and understood and like they matter no matter what. And the yos does that. And. And for the. To be a part of the why society is the ultimate.

What have you got to lose? Because there why not? You have nothing to lose. And it's. You'll not only have the tool that helps you be your own voice and helps you do what you do better, you'll be surrounded by a community that understands and supports your whole who, how you're wired, your why, your how and your what.

Great answer, Danica. You know, I'm always looking for these great nuggets that, that we get from working with you guys. And it's so fun to watch our community grow, watch you become a part of it. You know, one of the things we said at the, at the meeting this past couple of weeks ago, we talked about the fact that, you know, you join a community and you become a part of it, but, you know, it's a real community when the community becomes a part of you.

And that's really what we see.

Yeah. Yeah. And if I could add to that, knowing my. My yos.

It also helps me know that I don't have to stay in a community that isn't aligned with my beliefs and my values.

Right.

And it makes it easy to exit.

Right. It's absolutely. One of the things we talk about is your yos can become your filter. Right.

When you think about, for Danica, what is it that you want to be involved in? You want to be in stuff. Involved in things or causes or projects that find a better way that. That are better, that are simple and that help others. Right. If somebody brings something to you, and I talk about it all the time for myself, but let's talk about you. If somebody brings something to Danica and they says, hey, Britannica, we'd like you to help with this project, it's a better way to do. Do. It's simple and it helps people in this way, are you in?

I'd probably start drooling. Yeah, right.

But if it doesn't. And then that's also the. The other part of it, right? If it doesn't, hey, we want you to work with us on something. It's not a better way. It's actually a worse way to do it. It's really complicated. We don't even. We can't figure out how to do it, and it really doesn't help people. Right. And how often have you said yes to something like that in the past because the money was right, the offer was right, or it was a good friend. Right.

Or it was a way to contribute in some way, Because I could feel like maybe I could make it better. But there was those spidey senses that said it's not really it, but having my. My wireless, I can. I know now when to say no. I could probably cut you off.

No, you didn't cut me off. This is your show, Danica. Let me ask. Let me ask you a final question since we're on that subject. Tell me about a time that you use that filter recently so that to either join a cause or not join a cause because it did or didn't fit your yos. Mmm.

That'S really a great question. There have been. I haven't really thought about it until you asked me, but there have been a number of times when an opportunity presented itself and I was able to use that filter, I was like, oh, is this something I want to do because I'm bored? And what will the end result be if I go? And then. And then I could choose whether or not it was something that the. The. The consequence of that choice was worth it or not. But even if it's just going out to coffee with someone or, you know, it's like, oh, this person is not in a good place. Do I have the bandwidth for that right now? Can I be my full self with that person right now? Can I contribute to that person? And if I couldn't, I was able to say no, but also explain why it wasn't just like, I'm gonna ignore this and hope it goes away. It's like, hey, I'm really not in that place right now. I'd love to. Can we do this another time instead? And as long as we communicate, people usually understand. And if they don't, then they're not necessarily our people in that moment.

Absolutely. And you mentioned that earlier, right? You not only have the language to express yourself, you have the language to explain why you don't want to be involved in something. And I do it all the time. I say, look, I can't be involved in this because this really isn't going to contribute to the success of others, isn't going to contribute to a greater cause. It doesn't allow me to be myself in terms of challenging the status quo and thinking differently, and it doesn't solve a problem. So if it did, I could be involved in it, but it doesn't. So I really wouldn't be the best person to be involved in that. So thank you so much, Danica. It's been so good to see you. Where do you say we end on that note?

Why not?