WHY Not Wednesday with Jill O'Boyle

These last few years have made us question everything.

Our relationships.

Our jobs.

What constitutes an office.

And who we are.

In a.

World filled with chaos, confusion and uncertainty. It's time for some clarity. It's time to start understanding one another.

It's time to start understanding ourselves.

We envision a world where everyone knows their why. But even more, we envision a world where everyone knows their why. O s their why, their how, and their what. The operating system that drives you, that lets the world know where you stand.

What your unique gift is, and most importantly, who you are.

Yos.

Are you ready?

Foreign.

Welcome to why Not Wednesday. What a day this has been. And I am so thankful for Jill o' Boyle today. I got to tell you guys this story. So unfortunately our original guest and I posted it on LinkedIn. You guys know Jennifer Chapman is under the weather today, so she was going to be on and I just so happened to have an appointment with Jill this morning. We were meeting and we were talking and I said, wait a minute, I need to fill in. And Chad Malone, if you're listening, I reached out to him first because he was scheduled in the future, but he hadn't gotten back to me. And I'm talking to Jill and Jill's like, why not? So what a perfect why not moment. I said, jill, you want to fill in? I'll recreate the banners. We put the post on LinkedIn. We let everybody know, hey, Jill is going to be filling in. So, Jennifer, we hope you feel better very soon and you can join us because we are looking forward to hearing your story. But today we have Jill o' Boyle with us. And I got to tell you guys about her. She's a pretty amazing lady herself. She's the founder and owner of Jill o' Boyle Communications. She's a purpose coach, she's a speaker and a podcast host. So I can't wait to learn more about you and most importantly, share you with why Nation. So welcome to the show, Jill.

Yes, thank you so much for having me. And I agree I, I wish Jennifer well and but I'm glad I could step in and why not help you out today, right?

I love that. So Denise Muscle White says hello from Florida. Both Lynn and and and Denise are, are tuning in from Florida. So thank you guys for being on. So Jill, we start these show, this show every time with just one simple question. Let's go over your Yoshi and so your why is contribute, your how is clarify and your what is trust. So what that tells us and what we always like to talk about. It a little bit is you are a person who loves to contribute to the success of others. You're driven by making a positive impact in the lives of others. How does that why fit you?

Oh, it's perfect. I mean, as soon as I found my why, how, what I was like, oh, my goodness, that is Jill o' Boyle right there. That makes everything so clear as to like, what I'm doing in my life right now.

And what was interesting about today too, Jill, is you have the same yos. I even put that in the headline. I said, look, different guests, same yos. Contribute, clarify, trust. So your how is to clarify. So what that tells me is the way you contribute to the success of others is by helping gain, helping them gain clarity for you. It's important that people understand you clearly and that you understand others clearly. So what I know is a gift of yours is you ask the questions other people don't even think about. Sometimes.

Yeah. Yes, I do. I ask a lot of questions. And I found that sometimes, sometimes people. I just need to know that you. You heard me, like in my management, in my corporate career, right? That was always me. I was, you know, I, I would follow up with my team, make sure they got it, they understood, and then I would just reiterate an email just to make sure that they understood. I'm like, just tell me and then I'll let you go.

Well, you know, and I like to pick on clarify people because these are, you know, if you've, if you work with people with the how with the clarify in their top three, these are the people. When you send them a contract, they'll send you a three page email with questions on the contract. Because for them, it's very important that things are very clear. They understand if there's any ambiguity. So, you know, you might say, okay, that's, that's not such a great superpower. I'll tell you what, these are the people I want reading my contracts because they're not going to let something slip by. They're going to make sure they look at everything and if there's a question, they're going to ask it. So thank you very much for sharing your how. And then your what is trust. So what that tells me is that you are someone for whom trust is important for you. If I trust you and you trust me, sky's the limit. But if Dan violates Jill's trust, that's going to impact the relationship. Now, how much is that going to impact the relationship? Not a big deal. Or. Big deal.

Oh, big Deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So very important that number one, you know, you can count on Jill. If Jill says she's going to do something, it's going to get done because trust is a big part of her. But she expects the same from you. And I was working with someone the other day and you know, just to say that is very important. You know, you can say to people, hey, listen, if I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. But you know what? And this was a young person who's still in her senior year of college. And she said, and I expect the same. And she said, man, it gave her such power to say that because you're constantly a trusted source, you're going to do what you're going to do what you say you're going to do. But everybody else doesn't always play by those rules. So if we tell them ahead of time, hey, I expect the same from you now we can get along a lot better. Right?

That's so true. That's, I mean, that's how I work with my clients, is I trust that A, you're going to trust me with complete, you know, your confidence. I will be, I will show up on time. I will be there and I trust that you'll do the same for me. And I'll trust that you're investing in this as much as I'm investing in you. Because, A, I have the heart to serve, so I want to do it and I want them to love it and want to do it for themselves. Right?

Yes. Well, hey, let's, I always take a little break in between. So Jim Packard is saying hello from Maine. If you have not read Jim's book, it is an amazing book. And I know, hey, Jim, I don't have the new one, but it's called the Consistency Chain. So he's all about the Pareto principle and doing things consistently. So, Jim, welcome. Thanks for being on Denise. Her what is trust also. So thank you for being on Denise. And then TJ Davidson listens almost every week. So thanks for being on TJ and of course he's going to say howdy because he's calling, he's tuning in from Texas. So. So Jill, you've got a pretty cool story yourself. So I know we, we were going to talk about your story. Why did, how did you end up in the position that you're in? Tell me about your, your, tell me about your why not moment. Your story.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So my why not moment was when I decided I was going to leave my corporate career after 11 years in the project management realm. And it was really. I just decided I was not going to live my life in fear anymore. I was living a career that at one point in my life very much suited me. It was fulfilling in so many ways. But I started getting really stressed out in my job. I was burned out.

I.

The passion became dull. I was working a lot, I was being pulled away. And I kind of got a point point in my life where I just.

Started to realize how much my career was taking over my identity. Like, I was striving for that, you know, climbing the ladder and just really succeeding in my career. And because of all that, with the stress and the burnout and traveling a lot and time away from my family, it just caused a lot of headache, a lot of havoc in my personal life, in my hand, my marriage, in my home life.

And so I started to really question a lot of things, my values, who I was as a person.

And so I decided on a leap of faith. My. Why not was taking a leap of faith and stepping out onto what I believe was my. My calling. Creating my own business in Jill of Oil Communications.

Right.

And I started to realize what gifts I have. I've always been a motivator. As a child, I always thought I'd be a motivational speaker as a child.

Right.

We have these big dreams and we're a kid, and then all of a sudden the world kind of diminishes those. But I always love to motivate people. That's what I love to do in my management career. Like, I live for motivational Mondays. Like, I think I. My team probably didn't really care that much about it, but. But I did. I, like, look forward. I was like, oh, I can't wait to just give them this little ounce of hope, this little thing that's going to get them, you know, through their week. And I just realized, like, I was doing that behind the scenes a lot. I was inspiring and motivating people all my life.

But I just felt this calling that I needed to take it bigger and just make this a career, like, use my gifts and my talents to help motivate people through some of the battles that they're going through. And I use my own battles of where I got in my life and my story of the stress and the burnout and what those. How that led to just some unhealthy patterns in my life and some pretty much rock bottom.

So you found a life coach yourself, right? And that made a difference for you. So Tell us about that experience.

Yeah, I did. So I was. We were on our way home from a vacation, a much needed vacation that I needed at that time that I almost did not go on. I told my husband, I'm like, we can't go on this trip. Like, the workloads too much, there's too much emails going on. I have too many projects, too many deadlines. We shouldn't go. And he looked at me like, you're crazy. Like, you need this vacation more than anybody. And so it was on the way home from that vacation, I found a podcast and.

That. That was my. I started listening to her and she was speaking all of this about who you know, life and battles and all these things and finding your purpose. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I need more of this lady. Need more. And so I found my own life coach, who, through finding her, revealed my purpose. I mean, in a short eight weeks of working with her, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I knew that my corporate career was no longer the path. I think we all have seasons in life, and it was a perfect part of my journey. But that season was definitely closing. God was closing that chapter on my life. And in 12 weeks of. I worked with her for 12 weeks, and on my 12th week with my life coach, I turned in my notice at my corporate job and said, I'm. I'm starting my own business. I want to motivate and lead and inspire. So there's power in life coaches. I'm just telling anybody, like, there's power.

Well, absolutely. And, you know, one of the, You. One of the. One of the quotes you put is in. In the conversation we were having, you said, I would rather try and fail than to never know what could have been. Tell me what that means to you.

Yeah. At the end of it, I just started asking myself a lot of questions and was it scary to just take a leap of faith and start this business? I'm like, I would have, like, be an entrepreneur. You know, those things, like, at one point had never crossed my mind. And then I started really thinking about it, and I'm like, I do have a lot of gifts and talents, and I would rather just try than to never know what could it be and then how many lives that I could impact? My. Why contribute to a greater cause? That's the bottom line. I started to just feel like I wasn't making an impact in the life that I was doing in my corporate world anymore. It was for a season, but I wanted to go bigger. I wanted to really change somebody's life. I had my life changed by my life coach and I wanted to make that same impact and difference in somebody else's.

I put this in the description earlier when I, when we, when we announced that you were going to be our guest today. But tell us who your ideal client is. Who is it that you feel just called to help?

Yeah, so I feel called to serve the woman who was pretty much just like me at one point. So she is, she is a, I serve women who are high achieving. They're probably a mid to senior level manager. She's probably kick ass in her career. Right. She's a leader. She is climbing that corporate ladder. But at the end of the day, she's just really tired. She's stuck. Maybe it was a passion of hers for a long time, but she just is feeling this calling that there's something more, there's something bigger that she could do with her life, but she's just a little unclear. I love to get clarity for my clients. I love to just get some clarity around what it is that they're visioning and let's create that and let's create this dream of what your life can be. Because we're our own worst critics.

Right.

Ourselves stuck. And so I love to just get that out of our, my clients and work with them to just create and dream and.

Yeah, well, you, you also, you know, you didn't just, you know, you started your coaching business. You also have a great podcast. Tell us about your life, your story. Rise up with Jill o'. Boyle. Tell us what, what is that about?

Yeah, so I created the podcast to first, you know, basically get my story out. The battle that I went through, through striving and climbing, you know, the stress, the burnout and how stress and burnout, it is a real thing and it can, if you leave it unattended for too long, it can start creating some really bad, unhealthy habits in your life. And that's what happened in my life. I ended up having an affair. I was started to drink a lot more. I stepped out of my marriage, a great marriage, honestly, but we got through it. And that's the one thing that I love, that I share in my story, is we were able to turn those battles. We were able to take the things in life and make it our breakthrough. And now it's my testimony and I can be stand here today and speak confidently about it and share that because we all go through things in life, but it's how we're going to get through it who's going to be on our side. And so I create the podcast to share my story, but more importantly is to allow a space where I can bring other guests on to share their stories. Because what I find is that most of these people in this world, a lot of these successful individuals, we all have stories. I love hearing stories. That's how the world moves around. And so I love to bring them on, give them the space to share their story. How their battles didn't define them, but rather how they're using that story, how those battles ended up causing them to have this breakthrough in their life and being able to give them that space and then relate to somebody on the other side to be able to hear them, be able to then connect with them and then be able to get the help that they need, because I'm just one coach. So.

So you mentioned in your story, you turn your battles into a breakthrough, so you don't allow the battles to defeat you. You allow them to maybe define you.

Define you, and use that B as your testimony, as your met, as your message. I hear a lot of people say, you know, I'm just such a mess. And I was like, well, all that mess, that's your message. That's your. Your history, is your superpower.

That's.

That's all of this is all. I'm a woman of faith, so I, you know, I always say, you know, if God allowed a battle in your life, he'll bring it through. It'll. He'll bring you through it. And he'll not only bring you through it, he'll use it for good. Romans 8, 28. All things work together for the good. So everything, all your baggage, mess, everything, he's going to turn it to good.

I love that. So I keep hearing that. I heard that yesterday I was met with Asia Alexander and she talked about, you know, when, when her, her company is Monarch Industries, I believe, and it's about monarch butterflies. But when you, you know, you don't change. A caterpillar doesn't change into a butterfly. It's the same caterpillar. It goes into a cocoon. And there's a, there's a scientific biological process that's happening in there when you're in that cocoon. And she said, you know, one of the things you can't do is if you're excreting, guess what? There's nowhere for that excretion to go. So you're swimming in your own mess, as you were talking about. But then when you come out of that cocoon that mess is what gives you the strength that hardens your wings, that allow you to fly. So I love that message. So, A.J. alexander, I just want to give you credit for that because that was. That was a great message that she shared. And it sounds a lot like your message where your battles are made to strengthen you. You don't give up on them. You embrace them and then you make them part of your story as you did. You so bravely shared everything. So rock bottom was in 2017 doesn't seem like that long ago, but here you are five years later and you know, you're friends with Jennifer Chapman, who's. Whose place you took today. So you guys were at a retreat with Simona Rising and you were there and a few other people were there. What was that retreat like? Because I know I saw a lot of powerful women there.

Yes, it was amazing. And like you said, I have met Jennifer Chapman not too long ago, actually, just because we are both coaches in the Indianapolis area. I got connected with her and we just could resonate because her story is very powerful as well. And I'll let her share her own story. But we both went through battles in our life through, you know, and lived a corporate career. And so she hosted and Simona hosted this retreat to bring women together.

Right?

Give them a day for this. Them for us to just say yes to you. And it was just a powerful day because as coaches, like, that's what we're doing to. For our. Our clients.

Right?

And so I was like, you know what? I'm going to do that because I need to honor what I am telling my people is self care is, you know, not selfish.

And how. And it wasn't a long day, right? It was. It wasn't like a whole weekend. It was just a powerful few hours, right?

Yes, it was that. It was from nine to three and she booked it on a. On a farm. And all of us women, we were like, oh, my gosh, we feel like we're in like a Hallmark movie. Like, the place was like a ranch with horses and chickens. And it was just a really fun. You know, there's so much power when women can come together.

So I love that. And. And then I love that there's that. That spirit of coming together and sharing power with each other, which is. Which is really, really cool. So tell me about this because we're gonna. I'm gonna hear about another powerful woman whom I highly respect and I'm so appreciative to have in my network. But how did you learn?

Yes, So I got introduced to the Y Institute from Nikki Llewellyn with People Forward Network. So I got connected to her when I started my podcast as an opportunity that maybe we could work together, see what we could do with People Forward Network, which is amazing, amazing company. She's an amazing lady, and she hosted a virtual event. And you came on and provided a little bit of background about the Y Institute, let us take the assessment and figure out our own why, how, and what. And I remember after doing that, I was just like, oh, my gosh. Like, this brings so much clarity to, like, exactly what I'm doing. Like, this makes so much sense.

I love that.

Yeah.

You know, and I appreciate, actually, that we've had a chance to follow up, because so many times you have someone in the audience that has a. A breakthrough moment, but you don't hear about it. Right. So how many times do you. Does someone say, hey, I listened to your show and I heard something. It was really great. And I'm like, well, I wouldn't have known if I hadn't followed up with you. So you and I have had a couple of conversations, obviously, since then, and to hear that is really great. It's invigorating. It really, for us, solidifies what our mission at WHY Institute is to help a billion people discover their why. So how have you incorporated what you learned from your why, your how, and your what into the business that you do, into the work that you do with your clients?

Yeah, so with my clients, I. I really want to get to the bottom of their why. I mean, that's essentially, you know, a lot of. I'm trying to work with my clients to get them unstuck. Most of the time, that's what people are coming to me for, is they're stuck in some kind of either professional or personal battle in their life. And I'm trying to get, you know, uncover that. So I asked them a lot of questions because I like to clarify. Right, right. And so I end up getting to their root why and what. I. A lot of my clients that come to me, we end up having the same.

We usually have the same why. They're coming to me because they want to contribute to a greater cause. They're just feeling like I'm stuck because I don't feel like I'm making a difference. I don't feel like I'm making an impact. And I'm like, oh, we can work together, because I can relate.

Right.

The same way. That's where I got stuck. I was like, at the end If I die tomorrow, did I make a, did I leave a legacy? Did I make an impact? What am I doing to like change the world? You know, for better to leave the.

World better than you found it. Hey, I got, I got to recognize Liz Wendling who said why not Wednesday rocks. First of all, because I love that comment, Liz. So thank you for put putting that comment. But Liz is an amazing sales coach. If you are having trouble, anybody that's listening, if, if you're having trouble connecting with your clients and getting to. Yes, let me highly recommend Liz. She's written like five, five books on sale. She was, she was on the show recently. But the, the other cool thing I love about Liz is that she is so good at finding better ways. So her why is better way. And as I was listening to you, everybody wants to be. Wants to make a difference and contribute. And we often get confused, right? They say, oh, I want my why to be contribute. Well, guess what? Liz's why is to find a better way. And how she contributes is by finding better ways and sharing with others. So even though her why is not contribute, she's still making an impact on the world. When your why is to challenge you, you challenge the status quo, right? So when you challenge the status quo, your gift to the world is to you bring a different outlook. You show people a different way to do things. When your why is clarify, so you're contribute, clarify, trust. But if your why is clarify, you help your clients, you make a difference by being in bringing clarity to the world. And Liz, I didn't mean to make you blush, but I, I know as a matter of fact a couple of people that I, I've been talking to listen lately that need to be talking to Liz Wetling. Because if, if you work with Liz and you don't improve your sales, you there, it's not, it's not them, it's you. So you know, just very, very quickly, a simple lesson that, that I learned from Liz and I didn't realize it was let's make it about you, Jill. Every conversation that's you. Do you ever realize how much we say I in conversations versus making it about you and asking you questions? So let's make it more about you, Liz. I mean, Jill, Liz. Yeah, I've got you, Liz, on the brain. Let's make it more about you, Jill. How has discovering your yos impacted your personal life?

Yeah, personally, it's just like I said before, it was kind of like that aha moment. It just really reflected like who I am and what I stand for.

Why I do the things that I do. So it became really clear. And then in my personal life I have to tell this story because it's so funny. So I ask a lot of questions. We already talked about that. But I found it funny that my. I have a friend that is a teacher, right. And she is. So she goes, she teaches at the same school that my kids go to and my oldest son is A, is 10, pretty quiet guy. And so they did this exercise at school and they were asking the kids what annoys you the most? And she goes chill. I just have to tell you this. I hope you don't get offended, but Griffin is my oldest son, wrote down that what annoys him most is that when he gets up and his mom has had a lot of coffee and just continues to ask all kinds of questions and all he wants to do is just eat his breakfast and I like died laughing and I'm like, I am kind of offended. Like I thought he loved our conversations in the morning but.

And he probably does. But you know when you, you get an over caffeinated mom asking clarifying questions early in the morning, right? That's, that's a lot for a 10 year old. So you have a 10 year old son. I have a 10 year old daughter. So they're gonna have to meet. I can tell you. Sophia, Sophia will tell you that probably what bothers her the most is how much we talk about why all the time. Because that's, that's, that's what we talk about. And you, you said you heard her interview when we had her on talking about doing the why of our pets and, and she, she just enjoys that. So I'm sure your, your son would also say he probably enjoys a lot of stuff about.

I think they do. I, I just, I want to like get to the rot the root of what their why is. Like I really like, I asked them questions about, you know, how their day was at school and what they like the most. And then I just listen for what they say because I'm like, I'm like, why do you think that you liked that project the most? Why do you think this like just really trying to hone in just to help them because I'm like, it's so important. Like if they can know who they are when they're this young. Like how amazing.

Love that. So you know Pamela Robbins? Tell us, how do you know Pamela?

Yeah, Pamela's amazing lady. I met Pamela at the VIP center for business women in Indianapolis.

Excellent.

And we just connected and she is an amazing woman of faith. Mary Kay consultant as well, and she's a huge supporter. She's been a great connection for me.

Thank you for being on Pamela and for commenting. You know we were talking earlier, so many people I talk to when, when we, we, we hop on the phone to learn about each other and they say, oh, I've been watching your show for a few weeks and I'm like, how come I don't know that?

Right?

It would be, it would be nice if you would just put a comment, comment and just, just say hi. Just like, just like Pamela did. Real easy. Hi. Ada Joe says hi. Of course, Ada Joe, how are you? She's one of our newest wise certified coaches. She's in Northern California and she's got a great special niche. So welcome Ada Joe. Brian Smith, the I Am Team series. She says, remember I am we. And so you know, you have, we've all heard the phrase there is no I in team. He believes there is an I in team. And when you, the I does their job, you make the team stronger. Right? So love that. I've always said there's no I in team, but there isn't winner. So we got, if we want to win, we have an eye. So hey listen, we've had a great conversation so I'm going to ask you one more, one more question. What would you say to someone who is considering becoming a wise certified coach and adding this tool to their toolkit? Because one of the things I love to do is just talk to different people, different perspectives. What would you say to someone who's maybe doing what you're doing and their niche is your niche? What would you say to them if they're thinking of doing this?

Oh, I think it's a no brainer. I think there's just so much power when you can be in front of it with your clients, be able to know, talking to them what their why is, what their how is, what their what is. You're going to build just that stronger relationship with them, be able to connect more on a deeper level and essentially you want to know, you know, what it is about them that makes them them them. Right? So I would highly suggest that. I think it's just powerful. As soon as we met I said it's just so impactful to just know it and then to help others. If you're in a coaching realm, it just makes so much more sense.

Well, I love that answer. And why don't we close on that note, Jill?

Yeah, why not?

Thanks for saying why not. And we'll see all of you next Wednesday.