WHY Not Wednesday with Sonya Shelton

Hello and welcome to why not Wednesday. Today we are so excited to have one of those coaches who said, yes, I am that coach. So today we're going to introduce to you Sonia Shelton, who is one of our YOS certified coaches and who's joined us very recently. Now I'm going to tell you a little bit about her. She is the CEO of executive leadership Consulting and. And the author of the number one Amazon best selling book, you're an executive, but are you a leader? She and her team work with executives and business owners to align their strategy and culture to achieve exponential growth. And I posted about that because I'm like, anytime you mention exponential growth, I know we're going to get viewers. So, Sonia, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Dan. I'm excited to be here.

We're so glad to have you. So I always start with that, that basic question everybody wants to know, what is your whyos, Sonia, Share it with us.

Absolutely. So my why is contribute. And what that means is I contribute to the success of others, and I really like to have an impact. And my how is better way, which means I like to find better ways of doing things and sharing those with others. And my what is simplify, which means that I find that better way and then bring simple solutions.

Got it. So tell me, how does that apply? So how does that apply to the work that you do? Because your mission is to align strategy and culture. So how does your yos fit into aligning strategy and culture?

Yeah, I think partially it's my YOS that helps to contribute, but it's also just having the yos as a coach also helps contribute. Right. So here I say contribute because it's my why. Right.

So really, for me personally, it's looking. I know that executives, leaders, organizations can really get that exponential growth, like you said in my introduction, if they get everybody working together towards that common strategy. So a lot of executives will say their biggest struggle is getting their strategy. They know what they want to do. They have that strategy in mind, but they're not executing as fast as they would like to. They can't get people on the same page or moving in the same direction. And so through my why, you know, I want to contribute to that. I want to see them be successful. And so I work with organizations to say, how do we find a better way to get you to where you want to go and make it really simple so that everybody understands where we're going and how we're gonna get there? Right. So I look at how my yos contributes to Those organizations, but also how we as an organization contribute to them as well.

So you have a great headline on your webpage or you talk about you believe that, or a lot of people believe that strategy eats or culture eats strategy for breakfast. But you have a different take on that. Tell us what that take is.

Yeah, there's the famous quote that culture eats strategy for breakfast. And we don't agree with that. We think that they have to eat breakfast together. So in order to, you know, some companies will focus on the strategy, right. Like over focus on the strategy and not really pay much attention to the culture. So it's like results at all costs. And then other organizations will focus on the culture and maybe over emphasize the culture or really not understand what culture is.

Right.

And, and so they're not leveraging culture to. To its full power to be able to get to that, to get to that strategy. And when you put them together and they do eat breakfast together, that's where those exponential results can come in.

So it's not cannibalism, it's. It's eating together, but not eating each other.

Right, right, exactly. Exactly.

I love that. And so one of the things that, that, that you talk about too, that I absolutely love, you talk about one vision, one. One voice, one direction. So how do you help companies? Because that's what you do. You help companies do that, come up with that one vision, one voice, one direction. I know you can't tell us everything, but what is it that you start with to help them get there?

Yeah, so I think it really comes down to alignment. So the one vision, one voice, one direction is all about getting everything moving in the same direction. So in order to do that, you have to know where you're going. So, so what is that vision? Where. What is it? Not just their, their purpose or as we, you know, their yos to us is their purpose.

Right.

But. But also what is it? How do you take that vision? Where do you want to go with it and make sure that everybody understands that? So that's the one voice, you know, so. So are we all on board with that vision? Are we using it in our communications? Are we telling the stories of how it's coming to life or what it'll look like when we get there? And then one direction is really about every. Lining up everything else in the organization from, you know, the strategy, the processes, the structure, the culture, everything is moving in that same direction to achieve that vision.

So, so you talk about everybody has to know what the vision is. And then when you say One voice. So everybody has to be telling the same stories. Right. Because if every. If or if they have to interpret the story the same way, and then when you talk about direction, it's more about the infrastructure. Is everything that you're doing pointing in the same direction? Did I get it right?

Yeah. Yeah. And one of the. One of the tricks that I do, you know, whenever I'm doing a speaking engagement or, you know, I'm meeting with a client, I'll ask people that I meet. Yeah. So, you know, if you could, say, articulate the vision of the organization in your own words, what would you say? And I usually try to ask at least five people and see if it. If it's relatively the same. Of course they're gonna. If they're using their authentic voice, the words might be different, but are they all basically saying the same thing?

Right. And so that's. That's a great check. So you do that a couple of days before you actually meet with the team or. Yeah, so you're. You're that. That consultant that comes in and spends a few days getting to know people and learning a little bit about what's really going on.

Right? Exactly. Exactly.

I love that. So why did you become a YOS certified coach? You seem to have a thriving practice. You've got a lot of good things that you're doing. So I met you almost. Gosh, I want to close to a year ago, about seven or eight months ago, and we started having a conversation. I shared with you our process. What made you say, you know what, that's something I want to add to my toolkit?

Yeah. I think, well, it's on the three different levels. So I think when we're working with executives, one of the things that I talk about for them as a leader is how can you. How can how you're perceived be how you authentically are? Right. So we would take them through a personal branding process. And when I saw the yos, I was like, well, this is going to shortcut what we were doing with personal branding. And I'm loving how it's showing up for our clients, because it's more than I thought. So, yes, it's helping with their personal brand and how they're perceived, but we're also using it in how do they make decisions? How can they make decisions faster if they're aligned with their Yoshi? I just had a conversation with a client this morning who was saying, I was observing him in a meeting yesterday, and it didn't go well. And I said, okay, well, let's see his why makes sense. And I said, let's see what didn't make sense about what happened yesterday. Like, why were you struggling with it? And it was just another way that he could use it and apply it. And so, yeah, so those are all the reasons then looking at, you know, how can we apply it to a team? So. So we're all about alignment. So how do we get teams aligned? And if part of alignment is understanding each other and trusting each other and understanding the why helps them to do that. And then obviously, from the organization perspective, ultimately having the organization understand its why is where we start with the vision and purpose.

So you hit that really well. And I like that you're talking about purpose. So we're going to be doing some work on purpose. And how do you align why in purpose? Because that's a question that. That everybody's like, well, is your why your purpose? Or is. Is your why what helps you get to your purpose? And my answer is always yes, because I think it could be both. Right. Depending on what you're doing. But tell us your answer, Sonia.

Yeah, I think. I definitely think it's both. And, you know, it might. I would say it's. It is your purpose at its core. Right? So. So you're. To me, my yos is my purpose at its core, or how I apply, that might be how, like what I do for a living. Right. When I. When I got my why, why my yos, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. And I'm in the perfect job. Right. So I'm. I'm able to contribute. I'm looking for better ways with my clients. I'm able to simplify things so that they can take action. Right. So, so, so could that why apply to different types of jobs? Sure. But I know at the core, that's my purpose, and then I can apply it in different ways.

I like that. That's a great answer. I'm going to gather as many of those as I can because everybody's got a slightly. It's kind of like you said earlier, right. People will. When you ask people for the vision of the company, if they're using their authentic voice, they're going to say it slightly different. But I think we all come back together around the fact that why and purpose are intimately tied to each other. You know, Paul. Paul Epstein, who we're working with, says, you know, you have your why, which leads to purpose, which leads to impact, which I think it's kind of the tra. The trail that you take your clients through. You figure out their why, you figure out their purpose, and then the impact, the contribution that you make to their company is how you help them align with one vision, one. One voice in one direction.

Right, right, right.

So, little known fact, Sonya has actually visited the Y Institute campus. She's been in Albuquerque. You have family in Albuquerque. You grew up in Santa Fe, so just. Just north of us. I always. I always want to know what was your impression? You know, you got. You got to see Gary and myself. We met for a couple hours, had a great time. What was the experience like for you?

Yeah, I loved being with you and just seeing how you apply it in the way the Y Institute operates. Right. Like, so you. How you're organized, where your offices are, having your yos on the door. And the campus is very inspiring with. You know, each conference room has. Has inspiring names and. And I just felt like it was. I was part of the team being able to see. See you there on the campus and meet with you there. Like, I felt like I was part of the team when I left.

I love that. Thank you, Sonia, for. For. For that. And any. Any of our YOS coaches that are listening, anytime you're going to be in the Albuquerque area, just give us a call ahead of time. As you can imagine, we're small but mighty team, so we want to make sure we make time for you. But we'd love to give you a tour of the campus, show you our offices, sit in one of those conference rooms, and then you get a chance to meet the founder and CEO Gary, who just enjoys meeting people and sharing the vision and seeing his vision come alive in the coaches that are certified in our process. So thanks so much for visiting, Sonia. We enjoyed visiting with you and learning more about what you're doing and how you're applying it. I mean, you took a while to get certified. I remember I. I said sonia signed up, and then I didn't see your progress for a while, but then in December, you went hard and then you got started, and now you. I don't think you've. You've taken your foot off the pedal.

No, we're.

We're.

We made January our promotion for individual YOs and February's team. And yeah, we're. We're getting it all to. To all of our clients. I gave it to all of my existing coaching clients, and it's. It's really had an impact in the coaching.

Excellent. Excellent. So how does your personal yos, your. Your. Your why, your how and your what show up in your. In your Coaching and consulting.

I would.

Say, you know, it shows up with making sure that I'm making an impact. So I, so I see contribute as what can I do to contribute to results. Right. So focus on results. So I'm always looking at being very practical, you know. So again, my better way and simplify is not just that big vision. And I think that as I see that a lot of people who are visionary sort of stay up there in the clouds. But with my how and my what with better way and simplify can really take that vision and land it and make it practical and all the way through to execution.

So what's the biggest thing that you've learned about yourself from now now that you know your yos? Because I think, you know, as a coach and as a consultant, you live in this world, so you, you're pretty self aware. What's different now that you. Because you said it resonated with you and you said, I want to use this. What resonated with you? What is it that's different now that you know your yos that, that you didn't have before?

I think there's a couple of things. One is.

I knew that I had a natural ability to simplify. I started my career in journalism and then communications, and I've always had this ability to take a lot of complexity and drill it down to the three bullet points. And people are always amazed, like, how do you do that? And it just comes naturally to me. So.

And it's the right three bullet points. That's the gift.

Right, right, right. And so just leaning into that more and recognizing that that's part of my superpower. And then I think that in better way I have a funny story, a personal story around better way, which is after I did my YOS. So my husband and I have been together for 26 years.

Okay.

And, and when I read the description and I was like, oh, he thinks he's always said, oh, you never, you never like my ideas. Like, whenever I come up with an idea, you always want to do it your way. And I was like, no, I don't want to do it my way. And I was. And I was like, I do like your ideas. And I like, I couldn't understand why he felt that way. And then when I read it, I would. And I explained it to him, I was like, oh, I did my yos. And it's not that I don't like your ideas, but as soon as I hear your idea, my automatic response is, how can I make this better? So that means if you come back to me with an even better way, we'll go with that. Right? And. And so it just sort of helped him understand me a little bit more and. And see that it wasn't critical. So I think maybe that might be a. A good thing for other better ways out there to know that if it's, you know, it might be perceived as being critical rather than looking for that better way and having that understanding. He was able to understand where I was coming from.

I love that example because it really is about a communication. Right. So that's why I started the show asking you, okay, what does it mean? And I love how you did it. You said, my why is to contribute and what that means, and my how is better way and what that means. Because when you let people know what it is that drives you, then it allows you to be authentic, and it allows them to not feel defensive, you know, because one of the things we say about better ways, they're often pleased but never satisfied. There's always a better way to do it. Right? But when somebody's bringing you something they've worked really hard on for a long time, and they put it in front of you, and the first thing you say is really good, but let me show you how we can make it better. It doesn't feel like a compliment. Right. It feels like, wow, nothing I ever bring to her is ever good enough. And so I think it's important to communicate that. And I'm glad that that had. So how does. How does he feel? Did he agree with the entire.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Here's a question. Have you given it to him?

Not yet. Not yet.

So that was our Valentine's Day post. We asked people how many of you have done it? Almost every couple that I've talked to that has done it tells us, oh, my gosh, it changes the way we communicate completely, and it helps us understand people a lot better. So thank you for sharing that. So let's talk about your why not moment. So the name of the show is why Not Wednesday. What. What's been your biggest why not moment to date?

Well, I think it was for sure when I started Executive Leadership Consulting. So prior to starting the company, I was the head of internal communications for the Walt Disney Company.

Okay.

So I had, you know, great company, amazing job, a lot of stability. You know, everywhere I would go, you know, people would say, oh, you work for Disney, Right? Like, there's a little cachet that went with it. And I left to, like, jumped off the cliff to start my Own company. And so it was definitely a why not moment. And it also connects. I was thinking about this this morning, thinking about the why not. It connects to my why, because I felt like I could make a better contribution being outside of the structure than I could inside.

So you what. What made it a why not moment? Because, I mean, Disney, right. It's like you're working for Disney. You've got an executive leadership position. There's. What were some of the better ways that you saw that you couldn't implement? What was the trigger?

There were a couple of things. I was there in a very interesting time when.

The company ousted the CEO. Shareholder revolt. Right. So it was being led by a member of the Disney family ousting Michael Eisner, who was this longtime CEO of the company. It was kind of like the company was going through a divorce. And being the head of internal communications at that time really impacted kind of how I saw the world. And, and, and I. And I realized, you know, consultants coming in consult, you know, didn't matter what I would say. I would come up with ideas. The consultants that came in might have less experience than me, but they were always. It was always. Their ideas were brilliant. And I kind of resented it at first. But then I realized, like, they have an outside perspective. They have the perspective of bringing what other companies are doing and things like that to the table, and they can say things other people can't say inside the company. Right, right.

It can be completely honest because their paycheck isn't on the line.

Right, right, right, exactly. Exactly. So. So people thought I was crazy at the time, but I said, why not? Let's give it a shot. And I could always go back and get another job if I needed to, but. But wanted to give it a shot in going out on my own.

You know, I heard this recently, Sonia, and you'll probably resonate with it. I heard somebody, and there's a motivational speaker. I wish I could remember who it was. But he said, you know, the thing about taking chances is, let's imagine you're going to ask a pretty girl out for dinner. Well, let's say she says no. You were going to eat dinner alone before you asked her.

Right.

So you're still going to. If she says no, you're still going to eat dinner alone. But at least you took a shot and you learned. Right. And you learn something from it. So that. That had to be a little bit of the mindset. You know what? I'm going to go try it, because I can always do what I'm doing. But you're not ever going to know whether ELC is a viable venture. And now you've been in business for how long?

14 years.

14 years, going strong. And I appreciate the fact that even after 14 years of being successful and doing things at a high level, you were open to the opportunity to bring something new into your practice. So how did you learn about us? How did you learn about Y instit to tell us that story?

I was at a conference for the association of Corporate Executive Coaches, and, and we had Paul Allen as a speaker, and he was talking about the importance of purpose. And he mentioned having done his. His yos and like, very briefly, he didn't describe it or anything. And he'd mentioned Albuquerque, that he had gone to see you in Albuquerque. And it was like those two things sort of like, oh, there's an assessment to find your why, and they're in Albuquerque. I have to look them up. And, and then from there I took. I took my. I took my discovery and the rest was history. Right?

Yeah, because I remember getting, getting that phone call, getting on the phone with you, and you mentioned how it was. As a matter of fact, I think I was in Chicago at the time and I was traveling, but I said, you know, I've got to take this phone call from Sonia. So we, we had a great initial conversation. So shout out to Paul Allen. Thank you for, for mentioning us. Yes, Paul was actually at the Y Institute campus. Spent a full day with us. We, we had a great, great day learning from. He's helped quite a few small ventures go viral. Right. He's done some, some great work in his. In, in. In. In his career. Most famous for Ancestry.com currently, but he's done a lot of amazing, amazing work. So what are the tools? So there's a lot of tools that come with being YOS certified. How have you incorporated the tools, the teaching and the mindset of why into your business? Because again, you had a really good structure already. So where did you. What gaps did we fill? What gaps are. Are still there or what gaps were not there, but you realized maybe this could be better. So I'll, I'll let you answer that.

Yeah, I think, I think it was simplify, right? So it was simplifying the process for us in getting to the personal brand. And, and you know, we, in our model, we start with vision and purpose at the core.

Right?

And, and what we've. How it's turned out in using it with clients is it's like the yos has become that purpose at the core. So. So, like, I was mentioning the client earlier today that. That there was an issue that happened, and I brought the core back and said, okay, well, how does this connect to your yos?

Right.

And. And how. How can you see this through that lens? And it sort of opened up his ability to, you know, he was kind of beating himself up over it, and his ability to say, oh, well, there were some things that didn't make sense, and I needed more information and I needed. I needed to figure out how I could help it make sense for everybody. So we talked about starting with objectives and things like that, and he. So just seeing, like, even everything that comes up, that we. I can come back to that core of their why and. And start there to figure out how.

They solve their problems so that practical application really. Right, right. And. And so what. What, by the way, do you have. Do you know his full yos?

Yes, his full yos is make sense. Better way contribute.

Okay. So you guys get along, right?

Yeah, we do.

What. What I have found is people that share at least one of their top three get along well. If they share two, they get along really well. And if they share three, they forget it. They're finishing each other's sentences. And I don't know if you've started to see that with the people you work with.

Yeah, absolutely. My. My longest client, we've been together for 10 years on various projects over the years, and she was the first person I had. Take it.

Yeah.

And. And so hers is. Is contribute Better way makes sense. So it's not identical to mine, but it's very close.

I was just. I was just commenting. Kevin Martin and Lisa Schermerhorn, they. They. They practice together. They're. They're executive coaches, and their. Their practice is about mindset, but they. They talk about all the time that they had spent months, nine months trying to figure out their website and what messaging they wanted to put out, and they took the yos in December of 2020, and in like, one week, their website was done because they both happen to be challenged. Better way. He's contribute. And I think she's makes sense. So. But they share their top two. So they get along great. And their messaging was simple because they wanted to talk about challenging people, finding better ways, and then ultimately contributing and making sense. And they were able to do that in a week after working for nine months. So it really does resonate with people. So tell me about. And you kind of mentioned it a little bit with your husband. How has discovering Your yos impacted you personally?

I think personally, it's. It's helping me make decisions. Right. And how.

You know, for contributes. You know this, Dan, right? Like, sometimes we want to take on everything we want to contribute. Everybody needs help. I'm known for somebody who's willing to help, everyone will ask me for help. Right. So. So it's so thinking about how can I make the biggest impact, right? I think so. I think Gary talks about this in one of the videos. Right. So looking at it as a contribute, I know I want to make an impact. I don't necessarily need to do everything, and I can focus on a few things that will make the biggest impact. So it's also, again, looking at my better way and how can I simplify things or come with simple solutions to be able to contribute without wearing myself out.

Yeah, well, that's so true. Because what we'll do is we will try to do everything for everyone, and we spread ourselves so thin that we're not making a difference, really, anywhere. Right. If we give in to our urges as contributes to say, yes, yes, yes. And instead, you know, one of my early mentors had taught me, he said, dan, make a big impact in a few places versus a little impact in a lot of places. And that's hard. I don't know about you, Sonia, but one of the things that I have found is people are almost offended that you say no because they're so used to you saying yes. And it's like, well, when did you become a jerk? And I'm like, now I'm not a jerk. I just stopped spreading myself thin at my expense for everybody else's good, which wasn't good for anybody because none of them were getting your best. Right, Right.

But. And I think how I've extended it a little bit even more is to say, what resources do I have that I can direct them to? Right. So I'm. I'm somebody as a contribute. I'm somebody that has a big network. I like to help people and connect with people. So. So there's usually somebody I can find I can direct them to that can help them.

Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. And I think that's a great way. The other thing that I've learned is to say, let me think about it, because a lot of we get approached about a lot of things, right. Because people know we're likely to say yes, so they approach us. And so one of the things I've learned to do, again from Jamie Duraghi, was say, let me think about it. And that gives you time to come back and say, you know what, I've thought about it and I can't help you, but here are two or three people that I think would be good for that. And then it helps you put them through your filter. Is it a better way? Does it contribute to the success of us others? Does it. Does it make sense or is it challenge? Does it challenge the status quo? Whatever it is that your yos's, you kind of put it through that filter and I think you talked about doing that with your executive friend. So, Sonia, we're almost out of time. We always love to end with this question. If we. If you knew someone who was considering becoming a YOS certified coach and adding this tool to what they do, what would you say to them? To encourage them or would you. What would you say to them?

Yeah, I would. I would say it really helps your clients bring some self awareness. And also, you know, we. You talk about at the Y institute, you talk about yos being your superpower. And I, I really have seen that with clients that they. That it has. That helps them connect to who they authentically are and then they can lead from there. Right. So they help, as I mentioned, it helps them make decisions, it helps them show up authentically.

And they get excited about it and they realize how much value they're providing through their yos. So, yeah, I would say it really is helpful for coaching.

Absolutely. Well, thank you so much, Sonia. We've enjoyed having you. We've enjoyed having you in Albuquerque. I hope we get a ton of people that are going to be driving through or flying through. If you're at a layover, maybe we can meet at the airport. I don't even know what they're doing at the airports nowadays. Sonia, you've flown recently more than I have, but we want to be able to see your faces. Come by and visit us. I know a lot of our coaches either tune in live or watch the recording. So if you're watching this, we want to see you in Albuquerque. Thank you for being with us today, Sonya, and have a great rest of your day.

Thank you, Dan. You too.