Dr. John A. King argues that reframing hardship as guidance from difficult people, rather than victimization, builds gratitude and growth. He contrasts the "guided by assholes" mindset with victim mentality, drawing on his own past to show how accepting adversity as a catalyst transforms your trajectory.
I want to pose a question to all of us. Are we— do we view the adversity caused by others? We normally can view them one of two ways. Do we view adversity caused by others as being fucked over by people or guided by assholes? Do you view adversity by others as being fucked over by people or guided by assholes? Even those people who tell you things like, you know, I don't give a fuck, I'm all out of fucks. Well, they're actually giving a fuck because the fact is They're sitting around purposely focusing on not giving a fuck. So they're tied up emotionally, mentally. They're going into situations where they're going, man, I'm not gonna give a fuck. So-and-so did that to me. I'm not giving a fuck. And you spend your entire time thinking about how you've been fucked over before by people. When you look back at life and you look back at circumstances and situations or medical institutions or even government institutions, And you, you find yourself going, man, I've just been fucked over by people. I can't believe it. I hate people. Look, I get it. I personally, I get it. Having come from a background where, you know, a lot of those things, you know, a lot of adverse things happened to me. And I had someone ask me once, do I regret my past or do I wish that my past was done over? And I found myself saying, I don't because my past made me the man I am today and I really have come to like who I am. So I changed how I looked at adversity in the background, in the back part of my life, and I realized I was guided by assholes, not fucked over by people. Everything that happened to me brought me to this place today and I really like here. And if you just make that small shift in your thinking, When dealing with business, when dealing with government departments, when dealing with adverse family members, when dealing with adverse business relationships, or just massive disappointment, then you realize that every one of those things— and I talk about this in my book, Deal With It, the difference between having a raft mentality or a speedboat mentality— is that every one of those decisions and people puts you on a different track. And you're in the right place at the right time. And you're looking for the right opportunity. So I want to encourage you today. I want to encourage my veteran mates out there, other folks in the PTSD community, is don't spend a lot of time looking at our past or even our future negatively, but understand that bad things do happen to good people. And I hope all of you, like me, want to view ourselves on the good people side. And that, in fact, when these adverse things happen up, Just be grateful because we've been guided by assholes. Cheers. Have a great day. Have a great week. Have a great fucking everything. Cheerio.
