Dr. John A. King walks through concrete ways to handle bad days: accept where you are now, move your body, eat well, choose what you watch, sleep on schedule, and start tomorrow with one small positive thing. Skip alcohol and drugs as fixes. Your mood shifts with these habits, not just willpower.
Hey, how you doing? Let's have a chat about what to do on shitty days because we all have them. We all have those days that just don't work, and sometimes those days roll into multiple days and unfortunately even weeks or months, it seems. But we have had good days. So the very first thing when you're approaching a situation like this— and I talk about a lot of these things and a lot of these keys in my book Deal With It— is the first thing you have to do is accept that this is as good as it gets. Now I know that sounds a little counterintuitive to the, hey, rah-rah, let's go for it, but the only way to move forward is to accept where you are. Now you are having a bad day, you don't feel good, you're not coping with a lot that's happening in life, and that's okay. We know what good days are like. We've felt them, we've lived in them, and in order to get there, we just have to accept where we are. The second thing is realizing that tomorrow holds great hope and opportunity. The best thing you can do in the middle of a shitty day is to stop digging that hole and start climbing out. And the first stage in climbing out of any hole you find yourself in is just realizing that tomorrow holds great possibilities and great hope. We know that's true because in the middle of a bad season, we have had good days. The third thing is to acknowledge that this series of emotions that you are feeling are real. And be careful and not allow them to slop out of your emotional bucket and affect those around you. Now, that's about taking responsibility. That's about being brave enough to have conversations with those that are close to you, in proximity with you. In my case, it might be Melissa. In my case, it might even be aware that I might be sharp or short with the dogs or with other people when I go out, that I might be short and sharp. I have to be aware that this is my issue. I have to do what I know to do to contain this so it becomes a personal incident and not an episode, which are terms again that I've defined and deal with it, and not an episode that flows over and affects everybody else. The 4th thing is do what you know to do. Do every day what you know to do in order to get to your tomorrow. You know what exercise does. You know exercise is good for you. You know that certain types of foods aren't good for you. You know that clothing— I'm even aware of what shirt I wear. Like, I probably felt more like wearing a gray thrash death, you know, stab the universe world t-shirt today, but I didn't. I didn't do that. I choose a color that is enlivening and bright. I put on something that's going to be positive for me. And I'm also aware of even the things like the music I listen to or the media that I watch. Do I spend time on social media or not? What sort of movie will I watch maybe tonight or television? All of those things are important because all of those things will either feed or starve a negative emotion or feed a positive emotion, a way out of the hole. The 5th thing is stay away from alcohol and recreational drugs. They're not good for you. You have to learn to get through this. Alcohol is a short-term fix. Recreational drugs are often a short-term fix. Now, I have a whole bunch of tools in the back of Deal With of things that I've learned, texts that I've got, books that I've read that have helped and equipped me to be able to successfully move forward, to stop digging out and move on. Um, 6 is get sleep. Now, routines are very important for people that are suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Anxiety, depression, any of those things. So those routines are very important. What you put in is also very important to you, and getting sleep is a major key. And the 7th thing, the last thing is tomorrow morning after you have your sleep, after you don't get hammered or halfway cut, after you go to bed at a reasonable time, get up and go again tomorrow. With a mindset to find something positive. Look for something. Even if you just woke up breathing, even if you can just make your bed, even if you just had a good meal, even if you just go to the gym. You go to the gym, you might have a bad workout, but spend 40 minutes on a cardio machine. Well, I just walk like a hamster. Then walk like a bloody hamster. Walk around the block, take the dogs for a walk, whatever it is, but just find— and then you can look at yourself and say, you know what, I did something positive. You know what? I did achieve something successful today because you've got control of those things. You might feel like you're out of control in here or out of control in the rest of the world, but you have control on how you get up and the attitude and the outlook that you hold on tomorrow. And it'll work. It'll change. Look, if I can help you, drop me a DM or send us an email. I encourage you, if you haven't read Deal With It yet, go to the website. There's 70-odd videos. Designed to help people that are facing different aspects of mental illness. Peace and grace. Cheers.
