Man Church - 5 People God Commands You Not to Help (and nobody preaches about this)

There it is.

Oh no, it's working.

Hello, hello. There it is.

Oh no, it's working.

Hello, hello.

Ready?

So should we just get ready for Man Church? And welcome, Substack. Waiting for the fellows to come in, grab a coffee. Rashida?

Hey, Don Greg.

How you doing, Greg?

How are you, mate? Sit around, have a smoke, and have a coffee, and have a chat, and wait for the others. Can't hear you, buddy. We got your cut. Maybe I'll go unmute people.

There we go.

Okay, got you now, man.

Yeah, I've, I've never had a, a coffee At home habit, but, uh, I use pods at work. And then we go to— every once in a while when my wife and I go out for doing— to do stuff, we go to Starbucks.

But there you go. Let me just get Instagram online.

Nope, nope, nope, nope.

There we go.

Nope, you can't still— some of these things I have trouble working out. Today's a live. Go live. Cancel that one. How's your week been, buddy?

Pretty good. Good. Uh, probably everything, everything really good except from traffic. You know, I've determined that, uh, Uh, over 90% of the people who drive on North Texas freeways have no idea how to drive.

Only 90%? Wait till winter gets here. Bloody hell.

Oh my gosh. Um, and, and you have to be careful if you have certain stickers or decals on your car that support a particular political candidate, person, notable, because some people don't like it enough to cause a scene with their car. Yeah, that happened this week.

So someone else coming in? Ricky Hill. Oh, hey, folks, got Man Church starting in about 3 or 4 minutes. Grab a coffee, grab a cigar, and, um, we will kick off here in just a moment. So look forward to it. Welcome, Instagram. Welcome, Substack. Welcome, the men from Man Church. So whereabouts your base group?

I live in, in Forney. Are you familiar with Dallas?

Yeah, yeah, we live north of the airport.

Oh, okay. Grapevine area.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. We're actually, we're actually heading over to, uh, it's called Fort Worth, but it's almost like, uh, I'm gonna call it Eastlake. It's, uh, east of Lake Worth for a party, for a party this afternoon. So, um, I was, I was born here but grew up in California.

Okay.

So, okay, and that's when I was in California, that's when I was— when I found out about you and, uh, your history. And, uh, uh, as a matter of fact, um, I know someone you know.

Oh, damn.

Um, yeah, um, I saw a picture of you giving food to I think it was at the police station in Grapevine a couple of years ago. And, and, uh, we were actually doing, uh, for quite a while there, for, for about 2 and a half, 3 years, we were doing, uh, assisting Earl Fitzsimmons.

Oh yeah, I know Earl. Earl's a great guy. He runs a great thing there.

Awesome.

Instagram, welcome to Man Church. Hop on, stay around. And, um, We'd love that. We're gonna sit around. Sorry, Greg, just doing the admin things, man. Hey, Yoda, how you doing, man? Turn your volume on, boys. Turn your mic on. G'day, Mike.

Hey, how are you?

Good, mate. So the format for Man Church is coffee and cigar and a chat for 5 minutes while people rumble around and get ready. I think Al's calling in from a deer stand today, so, um, Do that, and then we'll kick off in about five minutes. How you doing, Ryan?

Good.

How are you?

I'm great, man. So whereabouts are you today, Mike?

I am in the panhandle of Florida near Destin.

Ah, good. Destin.

In my kitchen right now, getting my hands dry.

So in your kitchen in Destin, man. That's all right.

Yeah.

And I've got seven golden retriever puppies if anybody's interested in one.

You can't sell golden retriever puppies in Manchurch. That's just not—you can't do that, man. There's all sorts of laws or something that we're gonna violate. How you going, folks? Come on in, fellas on Instagram. Hang around and we'll be kicking off in just a couple of minutes.

That's the thing. I'm right there. I don't know why my camera's not working well.

You got a, you got a fuzzy camera. Good day, Ron. How you going, mate?

Hey, bud.

Good to see you, big boy. Beautiful puppies. Good day, Nate. How you going, mate? Hey, John. Good. What's up? Ned Alls is in the house.

Bontrager's in the deer stand.

I told you Bontrager was going to be in the deer stand. That's great. I'm going out there tomorrow with him. Massage us some bambis with a bit of luck. So, so last time I went out there, Bontrager said, okay, listen, okay, here's how you skin a deer field dressing. Because he knows there's going to come a day where I'm going to ask to go shooting and he's going to say no. And he doesn't want me turning up at his house with a deer going, hey mate, how do I do this? So, so We're out there doing it, mate. I got myself some cow gloves. I love how Al does it. He's got all that. He's got cow gloves on and stuff like that. So, so it'll be good. Instagram. Hey, how are you? We got about five more minutes, you guys getting coffee and cigars, and we'll start in to Manchurch. So Mike's got five golden retriever puppies he's trying to sell on Manchurch. Seven. Seven. Seven. So I think that violates something like Rico laws or something. Um, but, uh, we'll see how we go.

That's funny because we're actually purchasing a Golden, but we're due in March. Well, I missed, I missed your offer.

Mine are available in, in late, uh, January. So, uh, but, uh, you can pick out your, your puppy now. Where are you guys from? I'm in, in Florida, but where all are you guys from?

North Texas.

North Texas, good place to be. If I weren't going to be in Florida, I'd be in Texas. My son was born in Texas. He graduated from Texas A&M with a nuclear engineering degree and a master's in mechanical engineering. So, huh?

So, so in other words, he's smarter than you. Is that what you're telling us?

Yeah, he is smarter than me.

Where about? What? Introduce yourself, Ryan. Whereabouts are you today, mate? I'm Nate.

I live in Kentucky, South Central.

Oh, great. Hey, John. I'm here in Southlake.

I'm back.

There he is. Yeah, sorry, I've got, I got to get some stuff done here while I'm listening.

Sure. Al's in the butt, as it says, in a deer stand somewhere. So, all right, we might kick in, fellas. Let me pray and we'll start. Father, we thank you for the day, for the opportunity to gather in your name, to gather around your word. And we commit ourselves to you, and we commit ourselves to the word. May guide us like a light onto our feet and to our lives. In Jesus' name, amen. So the format for the day, just to give you an idea, is I'll teach for about twenty minutes or so, and then twenty or thirty, depending on how much I get to waxing eloquently, and then we'll open it up for discussions at the end. So I'm going to mute everybody now, just because. You know, if the puppies get barking, they will get to barking. So you're all on mute, and when we come back on, I'll ask you all to unmute yourself, and feel free to have a chat. The format of Man Church is we throw out some stuff, some things that might challenge some thinking, etc. But that's the idea of it, because iron sharpening iron, and then the chance to come back and have a discussion. And it's how I've always loved to run church and give people an opportunity and a chance to, to discuss things. So the title for today is 5 People God Commands to Not Help. And I'm just gonna hand over this. This. Sorry, let me just do an— I don't know how to do that. Anyway, there we go. So 5, 5 people God commands us not to help. Um, and not many people preach about stuff like this. So let me give you the first big thought before we get into this. Sometimes when you help someone, it is actually enabling them and actually detrimental to them, and that can put you, you personally, in disobedience to the word of God. And even in danger of engaging activities and is detrimental to them. So the second big thought is: not all people are good people for you, and you're not actually responsible for their spiritual growth and development. You're just responsible for what you are called to be able to do and to do the best you can. So if I told you that God commands us not to help certain kinds of people, would you believe it? Um, we're constantly given the impression as Christians that we must help everybody and say yes to every request and to anyone in need. But when you actually read the word, you discover something surprisingly— God does not approve of that kind of help. In fact, there are certain sorts of people that we shouldn't help. You're actually disobeying the word if you engaged in helping these people. So the 3rd big thought to start with is there's a difference between help and enabling. And sometimes we are— we— what we actually call help is sponsoring sin and allowing behavior to continue that he's actually trying to address. We're feeding irresponsibility, and some— often we're shielding people from consequence, consequence of their action in their life that they're actually supposed to face and be confronted with. So let me address something before I start, because I posted this topic as a promotion on social media and I got some pushback. I had people say things like, we're commanded to love everybody as we love ourselves, so therefore this topic is not biblical. Um, but notice that the title says people we should not help, people that we should not love. So people that automatically misjudge and misread something And the scripture— the scripture they're misquoting is out of John 13, where it says, a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. You also love one another. Now, that scripture doesn't say that we shouldn't interact with someone or come to someone's aid. It actually says that we should treat others as Jesus treats us. And, and there are some ways that Jesus just doesn't interact with us. He chooses not to. He disengages from us. So we'll get to that at the end. The second thing they misquote is out of 1 Corinthians 13, where they talk about love and they misquote the Greek, and they said that everyone should have agape for each other. 1 Corinthians 13: Love, agape, is patient and kind. Love, agape, never comes to an end. But, but this is what I want you to hear, is agape means that a love that is self-giving. Committed purposeful goodwill, choosing another's good even when it costs you. It does not mean you're a pushover or a doormat. Sometimes turning your back on someone or leaving them to their own devices is the greatest, most selfish act you will ever do. For example, an alcoholic wife, a drug-taking spouse, someone who beats you up or rages at home. Sometimes you can't rescue those people. And you're actually not obligated to. So let's dive in. Five things. Number one is do not help a manipulator. Proverbs 12:22. Lying lips are abomination to the Lord, but they they that deal truly are his delight. Lying lips and our abomination. So the word lying from the Hebrew is deceitful. or falsehood, um, to lie in vain and to be wrong. So God does not look at lies with pity. He actually says it's an abomination. He looks at them with disgust. And when you stop— when you support someone who is living constantly in deception, maybe without realizing it, you're not helping them. Um, you're actually sponsoring their sin. The way lying lips often manifest is through manipulation, and that's what we would call a manipulator. A manipulation is, is not just how they are. It's a state of emotional neediness, and it's a sin. And, and the mistake I feel that most Christians make is thinking that loving someone means saying yes to everything, that we're obligated to fix people's problems. But Jesus, Jesus didn't do that. Remember with the rich young ruler? He's got someone that— well, let's miss that one. Let's, let's look at this one out of Luke 12. Someone in the crowd says, Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me. But Jesus said to him, Man, who am I to be made a judge or an arbitrator between you? In other words, I've got nothing to do with this, so don't drag me into it. And often a manipulator will do that. They'll just drag you and pull you into a situation. And Jesus refused to get involved. He did not allow people to place him in roles that were not him. Listen, I'm not your judge. That's someone else's responsibility. I'm not— I'm not called to do that. If someone only remembers you when they need something, if they back you into a corner with guilt and like if you're a real Christian— and these are feelings you might even just have yourself, unstated ones. If you're a real Christian, you would engage and you would save me, or you will help me from that. Then, you know, you've got to push back with some boundaries. It's not a cry for help. It's manipulation. And helping a manipulator does not set anyone free. It actually exerts control over you, as opposed to them being responsible for controlling their own environment. Love is not saying yes to blackmail. So there you go. There's first headache for this morning. Here's second headache for this morning. Two Thessalonians three ten. Now this is a couple of verses here. Two Thessalonians three ten and eleven. If you've got a Bible, you should always have a Bible. Bring a Bible to Manchurch because I could just make shit up. I've been known to do that on occasion. So get your Bible, have a look at it, take notes down, fellas, and then go back and check it out. and have a heated discussion at the end, you know. Um, so 2 Thessalonians 3:10: For even when we, we were with you— Paul is saying this to a group of people in a church— we would give you this command: if anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. It's a hard commandment. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, But busy bodies. Some another fellow coming in. So I'm not talking about someone going through a hard time, struggling with unemployment or trying to rebuild their life. That person deserves help. They deserve our encouragement. They deserve our prayer and support. I'm talking about the one who never takes a step. Yet wants life to move forward for them. They're always asking for prayer. They're never bending their own knee. They're always asking for help, but never lifting a finger to help themselves. So, so pay attention to the wording here. It says that these people are not willing to work, and that is a difference that is massive. Some people suffer, and they can't change that. They're faced with a bankruptcy. Or they're faced with an illness or a disability. But the sort of people that Paul is talking about are people who suffer because they choose not to make an effort. And what happens? You step in, you fix it, they feel relief. You think now they'll change, and they don't change. So next week they're back. You're helping again and again and again until one day you realize They're not trapped in hardship. You're trapped in a dependency. They're dependent upon you to answer all their situations and circumstances. And it goes on in this passage where Paul is talking to a church. He's talking to a group of Christians, and he says, not busy at work, but busybody. Some people have got 6 hours a day to sit on TikTok and death scroll. But they don't have an hour to get out and mow a lawn and make forty bucks. So these people don't have anything to do with them. They're not the sort of people you should invest in. They're not the sort of people that you should even be giving your time to. And in fact, according to Thessalonians and what Paul is saying, once you do that and you do that with these types of people, you're actually being incredibly detrimental to them. You're you're giving them an opportunity to become dependent upon you. And who are you? Are you their savior? You their provider? Shouldn't they be going to God and Christ and trying to connect with that and working those situations out? Sometimes the fall you keep rescuing them from is the push that God is wanting to make to wake them up. Let me say it again. Sometimes the fall you keep rescuing them from is the push God is wanting to use. wake them up. I told my son when he turned 18, he was going to have to get himself a house. He was going to have to move out. I let him go through 19 and make excuses. And then at 20, I sold my house. And he said, well, Dad, what am I going to do? I said, well, for 24 months, son, I've told you, you're going to get your own house. He said, I'm just newlywed and I've got a new house. I said, you can sleep on the couch. But, and I sat him down, I said, son, I like sex, and I like a lot of sex. And sometimes I have sex in the bedroom, sometimes I have it in the lounge room. So if you come home and the lights are off and the door's locked, well then you better get prepared, boy. You better knock hard. So anyway, one morning, one morning I come out, I've got to the gym at 5, my son is sound asleep in his car. And I'm knocking on the window. What are you doing? He goes, well, Dad, the lights were off and like I didn't want to come into the lounge room. I thought, okay. He found an apartment the next week. Sometimes, sometimes us rescuing people is stopping them from growing into what they're called to be and who they're called to be. I wish my son was on the call for this. I'm going to tape it and send it to him, I think. Point 3 is do not help the repeat fool. Proverbs 26:11, and this is— I love this verse, phenomenal. Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. Now, we've all been dogs eating our own vomit at one point or another. Now, this sort of person, the repeat fool, will drain your patience because unlike the lazy person, Who seems like he wants help. That's what the fool's like. The fool isn't just lazy, but he's going, yeah, you know what? Thanks very much for your input on that. You know what? That's a great idea. That's a tremendous opportunity. They'll nod. They'll— you're right. I really should do something about my life. And they'll do nothing. This time it's not any different. It's the same thing over and over again. Like a dog who throws up perfectly good food and then wants to go around and eat it over and over again. It's disgusting and a total waste of time. So the same mistake, the same empty promises, eating the vomit. Now you pray, you cancel, you send Bible verses, sermons, devotions. Nothing changes because the fool, he or she doesn't want transformation. They want relief, and they want you to rescue them. And you can't help someone like that. Some people leave a terrible relationship just to go into another. They get out of debt to go back to spending straight away. They ask for prayer over sin, and yet nothing changes in their routine. They don't want deliverance; they want a hand out, not a hand up. And the Bible's pretty clear as look. Just avoid those people because it's a waste of your emotional and physical resources. We've all got a limited amount of faith according to Romans, a little bit. We've got a small amount that we have of faith and determination. So we're going to spend it on people who want it spent on them, or we're going to spend it on people who don't want it spent on them. So do you have to keep helping? Well, biblically, you help those who want to get out of a situation. You don't help those who just want to be carried, like lie on a couch while you carry them. Doesn't help anybody. So Proverbs 23:9, do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words. That's just speaking. Your time is valuable. Your time is important. And what I actually think of here is when I'm spending time on a fool, someone who isn't going to change and isn't going to do something different. I think about the people who do want to change and do want to see something different that I don't have time to help because my calendar is completely booked. My, my day is completely filled. So often I think there's an opportunity for us to not see this as a selfish act, But as an act that is actually giving us opportunity and more room to help somebody who really wants it. And you've got to make time in your calendar to do that, because if it's filled just with people who are codependent or dependent upon you, you're never going to have a chance to get to others. So point number 4, do not help the proud. So this is a tough one because sometimes it's hard to determine who's proud and who's not. But James 4:6 says, "But he gives more grace. Therefore, it says God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble." So if a fool wears you out by repetition, the proud wears you out by resistance. And I just can't be bothered wasting my time anymore with people who know everything. I just couldn't be bothered. Man, you show them the scripture, you try and help them, they want to argue. You give them their advice, they roll your eyes. You warn them, they say, "Listen." Listen, I know what I'm doing. So here's the thing. I just say to those sort of people, bugger off and leave me alone, because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 62, and I, with humility, say I'm pretty successful at what I do in life. I don't know squat. I'm wise enough to know that I want to surround myself with smarter people. Now you let Mr. Fourth Person of the Trinity piss off and do it by himself. Don't waste your time anymore. It's just not worth engaging with conversations with those people because they're really not that productive. God actually says he opposes those and he resists those. So if God is not willing to help them, well, who are you? Like Mr. 4th Person of the Trinity. Don't get involved. Just don't do it. It's on God to work those people out. But he gives grace to the humble. Again, if we're occupied with the proud, we're not going to have time to give grace to the humble, the second chance to the humble. If we're fully engaged with arguing with the proud, the proud person who turns up at work, the proud person who thinks they're doing you a favor by taking a paycheck, as opposed to the guy down the road who's just stumbling around and looking for someone to give them a chance. You've only got so much to go around. I suggest we invest in the humble because the humble is going to learn, the humble is going to grow, and the humble is going to want to walk with you forward. Remember the rich young ruler? So the rich young ruler— and this comes into Uncle John's heresy, this is one of my favorite heresies, I love this one— so the rich young ruler comes to Jesus and said, listen, mate, listen, I've done it all, I'm really good at stuff, and So what more? I've got it down. So, you know, you and I are— we're just good. And Jesus goes, yeah, but I need you to sell everything and to walk away and do this. And, um, so the rich young ruler, Jesus doesn't engage with him. He says, listen, you want this? You think you've got it? Yeah, but actually there's a couple of things you missed. I need you to go and attend to those. Sell everything. Follow me. and then we can work it out from there. And when the rich young ruler walks away sad and despondent, um, Jesus doesn't follow after him and try and make a point of discussing him. So, so here comes the heresy part. All that other stuff's true, and I've got no scriptural base for this whatsoever, so let's— that's my disclaimer. But I did read a good book once, um, by a guy called Bishop Dean out of England And he follows the personality tracks of the Apostle Paul, and he posed this question: what if the Apostle Paul was the rich young ruler? What if the Apostle Paul had come to Jesus at that stage, passionate for God, passionately believing in the Messiah, said, listen, I've done everything, Jesus, can't I come and join your 12? And Jesus go, no, mate, I need you to sell everything. And then come along and follow me. And I just love that as a thought. Here is someone who had all the education, all the wealth, all the opportunity. It comes to Jesus and says, "I should qualify on this." And Jesus said, "You know what? I'm actually more interested in your character than your accolades, and I'm needing you to do these things." Now Christ had no problem with wealth, position, or education. He was very clear on that. But what he did have a problem is when we believe that those things were the source of our own salvation. And just as a thought, as a, as a thought exercise, to follow that track to become the man who, who first of all crucified Christians, maybe because he was so angry because Jesus rejected him, but then goes on to be the man who says, I am not ashamed of the gospel. I think that is an incredibly interesting thought exercise, that if you will cater to proud people They will never evolve into who they're supposed to be because God can't do the work on them that he is wanting to do the work on. So point number last, number five, Proverbs 19:19: A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. So the word wrath. Means furious displeasure, rage, anger. Someone who bottles it up and then it explodes. Um, I'm not talking about someone who defends the faith. I'm not talking about someone who— I'm talking about someone who creates conflict. Uh, they fight at work, they argue in traffic. Never done that on 114, have I? Yes, I have. What a stupid waste of time. Stirs up trouble in the family. Uh, splits a church, they're never wrong. They're always the victim. That's how you can tell someone who has a problem with, with wrath. They're never wrong. They're always the victim. Um, and you, with your good Christian heart, um, you think you should be the peacemaker. That's not what it says. It says that in this situation, if you get engaged with bringing about peace, you're only going to have a challenge again. Um, so you've got to let that boat sink by itself. Um, they don't want peace. What they want is attention. Um, and if you put out the fire he or she started, get ready to put out another one tomorrow. And if you keep rescuing them, they— but you need to stop being the— you're not really a peacemaker. You're an accomplice in their wrath. So they're the sort of people you've got to put away from. The emotional energy you spend trying to negate the possibility of someone losing their crap. It takes a lot of energy and it's really not worth it at all. Sometimes the discipline those sort of people need is not a hug, it's their consequences. So now, you know, I've been in situations, you know, this happened probably about 2, 3 months ago, man. I was in a dark spot and I was out somewhere and someone was just a total dick. So I decided, out of all the people in the universe, to point out what a total dick they were. That was my job. I just had to tell them, you're a dick, Karen, you're a dick. And you know, everyone wanted to bar up, bro. I've never sat there praying, God, please let someone try and hit me, because I just wanted to go, man. Life had bottled up. I mean, I— so I was just there with a mate. So anyway. My mate gets involved and talks the situation down, and we leave. Unfortunately, I'm with my mate, another mate, his wife, and my wife. So not a good situation. Not a good situation. So anyway, I get home and I go, "What the hell happened to me?" And then I started to have a look at the phase that I was in. I'd had two brothers die. I had a whole range of situations, and I hadn't processed any of those memories. I hadn't processed any of that grief. I just bottled it up and I exploded. I had to call my mate and sit down with my mate and say, I'm not excusing my behavior, but I need to unpack my behavior because I need someone to talk to about that. They're the sort of people, and I think that that guy is still a great friend, a tremendous friend. You know, we're having breakfast, him and his family, this coming week. And I'm glad that my friend saw me as someone he could help. But if I was to do that every week, at some time that guy needs to cut me loose because he's going to be standing up to defend his family in a situation that someone like me would have caused. And I just don't think that's how it should go. I think those sorts of people need to— if they're quarrelsome, they need to feel the weight of their choice. So I'm gonna open it up and I'll give you a recap. So I think I can do it this way. Do this? No, I don't. I do it this way. I push that button and I go ask all to unmute. I am so proficient at this. Matthew has been coaching me and I couldn't work out how to make someone else a co-host so they could do it for me. But anyway, so let me give you the summary of the five points, and then let's have a discussion about it. Tell me what you think. So five types of people the Bible warns us not to help: the manipulator doesn't ask for help controls; the lazy doesn't want change wants comfort; the fool the repeat fool not the foolish person but the repeat fool keeps repeating the same cycle and uses you for relief; the proud wants a solution without admitting fault. The quarrelsome stirs up conflict and drags it in. So last thought, and then we'll open. The first, the first scripture I quoted: A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you, you also love one another. So I don't know about you, but anytime I've been a manipulator, lazy, a fool, prowler, quarrelsome, God has beat my ass. It's not, I don't get a free pass on that stuff. So my reflection is if God's gonna beat my ass for it, then I can get around beating someone else's for it. And that is the love that he extends for us. And that's the love we should extend to someone else because I've come to believe that he knows more than me. And that's a position in my life I plan to stay at. So there you go. Cries of heresy. Thoughts, ideas?

First off, is this recorded that you're going to send back out to us? I would love to pass this on to a few friends.

Yeah, you know what? I forgot to push record, which really sucks. But anyway, I could if it's recorded on Instagram or on Substack. I'll send it out to you. I keep forgetting to do that. I'll have to set that scene. I'll talk to my.

I have to remind you every time.

Yeah, well, now I got, I got a mate here who knows more than I do and he'll, he'll fix it so it auto records. Okay. I love that fella. So send, send me your notes. Yeah, right. There's about 3, there's about, there's about 9 pages. I'll send them to you. Okay, good. Do that. Any questions, boys? Any thoughts? You look like you're about to go, Mike. Bugger off. Love you. Thanks. Oh, I'm with you.

I'm with you all the way through. I'm going to a breakfast though. I'm getting dressed for a breakfast. So, oh good.

Keep, keep the camera high, mate. We'd appreciate that. We don't want to— don't scare us with your tighty-whities, Mike. Lift that camera up, brother. Oh, I'm dressed fully now.

Oh, that was a bit frightful.

Too much information. So any questions, fellas?

No, that was, that was good. That was good. And I'm with you. I have never driven on the freeway and been a man of wrath. And my wife will attest to them.

Oh, well, that's that's good to you. That's not.

Yeah, she's she's got a funny look on her face right now. So I guess I guess I guess get you lying. You know, and the other the other guy who's on here from from the the area, I'm sure that traffic flows beautifully and smoothly everywhere, right? Exactly. So, but, um, uh, I, I, I— this is my second time, uh, with the Man Church, and I like, I like how you teach, and, uh, um, uh, I like that you have a lot of books on your bookshelf. Yes.

Oh, so do I.

I just wish I could remember them. Did you, uh, did you read them all?

Yeah, mate, I've worked my way through most of them. Nate, did you have a question?

Yes, yes, that I would also like the notes and replay if it's available anywhere. Understand you said you didn't record it. However, if it's, uh, live somewhere that I could watch it.

Yeah, okay, I will. I, I, I'm pretty sure Instagram records it and, um, I'm pretty sure Substack records it. I'll have a look and I'll, I'll get you something. I'll send it to you. Yeah, I'll at least send you the notes. Okay. Is it on Substack? Yes, it is, Nate. I'm on Dr. John A. King on Substack.

I can maybe access it that way.

Yeah, you will. It's, it's still streaming there at the moment, so you can go on there and do that. And look, like, full disclosure, I stole it off someone else, I'm sure. So feel free to take this and Um, steal it yourself. There is nothing new under the sun. So, uh, anything I got or I teach at Man Church or anywhere else, you're more than welcome to have the notes for. So, any other question for you? Yeah.

So I, I couldn't agree more with what you said this morning. Great stuff. Thanks. But here's where I'm at. Like, a lot of times I'll go with my gut and it'll tell me what I should do with the person versus not, and I should just go with it. But then afterwards, you start double guessing yourself. Am I judgmental? Am I being a dick? You know, it's just me being a piece of shit doing this to this guy. Like, who am I playing God here? Why do I think I should, you know, not help him? Like, how did you decipher all that?

Well, I like that because you're assuming, number one, you're a dick and you're a piece of shit. So that's a great place to start. So we just all admit that's our base level. But what you also are, just having known you for a few years, you are very intuitive. And I think sometimes one thing I've learned is that I try to make a small thing, a big thing out of a small thing. So if I'm in a working relationship with someone and they do something that's like a 1% or 2% or 3% deal, I make a big deal about that. Like if they're constantly late to work, I make a big deal about that. Because I want to see what their response is to being challenged. It's— and it's sometimes it's not the 98% of good they do, it's the 2% that I really find a challenge. And by amplifying that small thing, it gives an opportunity to see where the arc of the relationship will go, particularly in an employee-employer situation. And the other thing too is knowing whether someone is a repeat fool or just clumsy. or complete wrathful people, it takes time. So sometimes you've got to commit to a relationship, but then have the courage to go, you know what, this is just not working. And so I don't think there's an easy answer there. I think that it just is a matter of course, time, and wisdom. And but going with the gut and being aware that you could just be running into personality as opposed to conviction. I think is a great, great observance. And so stay there and start there and then just nuance it out with experience. There's really no other way to do it. We only get wisdom by mistakes.

Alright.

I've made a few mistakes, got it wrong every now and then. Any other thoughts, questions? Any other people think of anything else that should be on that list?

On the number 4 with the proud, I read this one time, or I read it recently in a book I'm reading. Knowledge is the enemy of learning.

Yeah, that's good.

So someone that knows it all, right? They can't, they can't be taught anything. And someone that's so proud, right? You're just wasting your time. Knowledge is the enemy of learning.

That's very good. I love to learn new things, particularly martial arts. And like, I've done them for probably 30 years, 40 years now. But whenever I go and someone asks me, do I have any experience in this area? I always say, no, I don't because I wanna learn what you can teach me. I just did another gun course. You know, Australian, we never grew up with pistols. Came to America, the first thing you do is you go to a gun course. So I've been doing those for probably 15 years now, 20 years, probably closer to— went to another one in March. The guy asked me how much experience I had. I said, I've, I've, I've never had any. And it's just not the case. I said, because I want to learn what you teach me. And at this moment in that dojo, he's my sensei and I want to learn that. And I think that attitude speaks to what you said, Ned, is if we think we've got all the knowledge, we instantly shut ourselves down from learning because we've got to protect our knowledge base because we've got our self-esteem tied to our knowledge base as opposed to just being open to learning, which, which gives us a greater range. Very good question. Very good thought. Anybody else? No, we're good. Well, appreciate you, fellas. Have a great Christmas. And I did some teaching recently on boundaries for Christmas. So that's somewhere I'll have to try and find that for you. So if you have troubles with boundaries for Christmas, that's a good teaching on how to survive it, how to thrive in the midst of it. And I'll get that out to you as well if I've got it somewhere. But, um, appreciate you. So 2nd Saturday in January, we'll kick back and you can come all, you know, 10 pounds heavier, full of regret and hangover. And, um, I'll manipulate you, give you guilt, condemnation, and all the things that you should get after Christmas, you fat lazy bastard. So let me pray for you and I'll let you go. Father, thank you for men. Thank you for these men. Thank you for men who want to learn, want to lead, want to grow closer to Christ, become everything they can so they can lead their wives and children into being everything they're supposed to be. Let your grace rest on us coming into this period. Help us, Lord, as men identify those people— not that we shouldn't be helping, but that we should be helping. Help us identify those that are open. That are willing, that want to work, who want to know, who want to just walk in peace. Help us find those people and help us connect with those people. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Thank you, John, for your time. Oh, pleasure, mate. Go sell some puppies. See you, Al. See you tomorrow, mate. Okay, man. All right, cheerio, fellas. Bye-bye. Merry Christmas. You too, brother man. Say Instagram. Say Ricky.