Man Church – Don’t Be Pusillanimous

So big idea: biblical masculinity is not insipid. Christian is not a synonym for doormat. Biblical masculinity— its definition is meekness, and meekness is strength under control. So here's another way of saying it: biblical masculinity is dangerous men with the capacity for righteous anger who choose to find another way. Dangerous, right? Dangerous men with a capacity for righteous anger who choose to find another way. But if you mess with that man and what is important to him, to the things that he holds true, then he is capable, willing, and able to flip some tables and get some crap sorted out. That's my take on what biblical masculinity is. The word pusillanimous means lacking courage, cowardly. Destitute of manly or courageous strengths and firmness of mind. So that's what don't be a pussy really means. We have a world today that has taken its definition of manhood from social media and cultural norms, broken culture. If you allow someone else to define your world for you, they will always make it too small. When you take your definition of manhood from the world or from preachers who just don't know the word or are just preaching a really soft socially acceptable gospel and not from Christ, then you're in danger of living a small, weak, and fragile life. The most violent thing a man ever did in all of human history was to lay down his life for the world. The cross is not an act of weakness. It is an act of eternal retribution for messing around with the Father's plans. You don't storm hell, beat death and the devil Free all who were bound by waiting for an invitation in a safe space for fear of getting your feelings hurt. It's just not how this thing went down. Televisions and movies blaspheme God, the God of the Jews and Christians, because they can do so with impunity. A guy doesn't storm a church to interrupt a sermon based on a protest on a political policy. He does— only does that because he's not in fear of getting an ass whooping. And at some point in time, we've just allowed our zeal for the church and our love for Christ just to be manifest in a form of weakness. And I just— I don't subscribe to that at all. This is allowed because Christian men have been lulled into believing that any sort of aggression, any sort of immovable value, any sort of masculine trait is toxic. And that's BS. Yes. It's just not the case. If you just hit mute there, fellas, if you've just come in, that'd be great. That'd help me out a lot. I'm not talking about a license to be a dick. I'm talking about being true to yourself and knowing who you are and knowing what you like and what you believe and what values and principles are immovable and non-negotiable for you. So it's about living life from the inside out and not from the outside in. So let's have a look at the sort of fellas that Jesus Surrounded himself with. When Jesus built his team, he built it with a bunch of diverse and, dare I say, shady characters who would— well, who would literally not be welcome in most modern churches. Out of the 6, possibly out of the 12, 6 of them, they were fishermen: Simon Peter and Andrew, James, John, Philip, and Bartholomew. Now just think about it for a moment. The sort of men that were fishermen Fishing is a physically demanding task, a harsh job, dawn to dusk. You didn't work, you didn't earn. You didn't earn, you didn't eat. So there's no negotiation, no social systems. And if you think about the Lake of Galilee, it had this line of hills around it, and literally in moments you could be out there on a calm day and the wind would whip up and you're in danger of dying, drowning. You've got a woolen tunic on. That's what you work in. Pulled to the bottom of the lake. Harsh conditions every single day. Bodies were wet, no rain gear. They were tough men. So that's one of the group that made up Jesus. And then there's Thomas the carpenter. You shake hands with a carpenter and you know you're shaking hands with a guy who knows what it is to work hard. They're sinewy, they're tough, and it's rough. It's not, it's not hand cream stuff. So there's that one group, and often that's how the apostles are depicted. Depicted as working-class men that do this in a certain particular way, and it's very much corralled into that. But that's just not all the type of guys that made up Jesus's following. There's Simon the Zealot. The Zealots were targeted assassins. It's a little bit like Netanyahu asking the leader of Hamas into his— in the— into his parliament. They were known for intimidating and violence towards the Roman officials and soldiers. And particularly violence towards Jewish collaborators. Which brings us to Matthew, a Jewish collaborator with the Romans. He was a sneaking, thieving, corrupt, hated manipulator. Okay, this is not my dream team. And then there's Judas, a bloody accountant who was so passionate about how he saw God and such a belief in who he thought Jesus was as the Messiah. He really did. I firmly believe Judas knew that Jesus was the Messiah. It's just that Jesus wasn't doing it the way he wanted it done. So he tried to play God's hand, and God said, "No, this ain't gonna fly, brother. I ain't gonna do this. I've got another way and another plan." And then there's James the Lesser. He's nobody. The twelfth disciple is a ghost, an absolute nobody. There's no record of who James is. Biblically or historically. So you've got this very eclectic group of people that Jesus is going to entrust the future of the church with. And you have a look at the lives of the other guys in the Bible. There's David, a potter and a warrior, Abraham, a businessman, and Elijah, who got ticked off at a couple of teenagers for calling him baldy and called 2 bears down to eat him. The range of people that we've got that God chooses is a little different to how we think. So whatever your stereotype of manhood is and a Christian is, you're probably wrong. But what they did have in common was core values, a code of conduct by which they lived. And we talked about that once on Man Church. The challenge that Jesus was faced with is that he had to soften hard men. He had 3 years to model and teach these men character. and restraint. He had to model compassion, grace, alongside sacrificial passion, compassion, and determination. Now, the men that Jesus chose were not the dove moisturizing models that you see on The Chosen. They didn't wear hair buns and skinny jeans when they were off set. These were men that lived their everyday life in their environment, within the confines of what their community and their culture was. So how Jesus went about doing this was he gave them a series of examples in Matthew, in the teaching there, that were very relevant to their everyday life. And those principles, I believe, we can take today and we can apply them to our own lives. So during question and answer, I'm going to look at the biblical examples, and during question and answer, we're going to open it up. We're going to have a conversation about what could this possibly do and how can we apply this. To us today. So let me give you a little context. We start with Matthew 5:38. You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Now understand the times. The law that God put in place wasn't just about restriction, and we seem to only view it that way. It was actually an act, an attempt to bring civility to untamed humanity. In the time before the Ten Commandments in the Hebrew law, people of power could do and slay and kill, beat people with impunity. And the phrase that Jesus quotes here about an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth— what it is, the first time in history where there was a set of laws that looked after the lesser people. He's quoting from Exodus and Leviticus. Before the law was introduced, the most powerful people in the land could knock out the tooth of the slave, put— push an eye out during a fight or a battle without any hope of justice was coming. So what God did was say, if you do this to someone regardless of your station in life, then the same will be done for you. It was not revenge culture, and this scripture has been labeled as revenge culture, and that's just not the case. It's actually about equity. It's the opposite. It was aimed to reduce base human reactions so that situations didn't escalate. And I want to suggest to you that is what the following verses are actually about. So, turn the other cheek. Matthew 5:39. But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn him the other also. So it's significant enough to be in there, the right cheek. So we'll get into it in a minute, but the right cheek— to receive a slap on the right cheek normally came from a right-handed person in a backhanded manner. And that's a very distinct action, and it's a very deliberate action. The slap here is less street fight and more about public insult and degradation. It's an attempt to prove that someone is beneath you and they don't have the power to stand up to you. What Jesus is saying is, fellas, you can face humiliation without retaliation, and here's an example. It's an issue of stance and character, I believe. The Mishnah, the Jewish Mishnah, is a compilation of Jewish oral traditions, and it says that someone who slaps the face of another in a backhanded manner should be punished more than someone who face slaps them in an open-handed manner, because the backhanded manner was a sign of degradation used by people of power. So remember who Jesus is talking to again: tough, hard men, manipulative men, and assassins. And Jesus is saying the way you overcome that action is by standing your ground, turning back around, and staring them down. That's the sense that comes with turn the other cheek. When you do this in a situation, what you're actually saying is You're not going to reduce me to your level. No matter what your position and power is, you cannot drag me down. I will not respond to your behavior and smallness. I won't escalate it, but I'm not going to crawl away. I'm going to offer you the other cheek. So now let's bring it back off the streets. When you get disrespected at work or in a family conflict or in public, Your flesh wants to pay off with sarcasms, threats, intimidation, even the return of violence. Jesus says, hold your ground, stay upright, stay clean, occupy your space. A man who can't control his temper isn't tough, he's easy to steer. Epicurus said, any person capable of angering you becomes your master. He can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disrupted by him. Jordan Peterson's got a great quote we've probably all heard: a good man is a very dangerous man who has the capacity for harm and aggression, but under control. I believe what Jesus is saying here is you have to learn to take a blow, and you have to learn to turn back to your oppressor, and you need to stand your ground. I'd like to add that, and this is Dr. John's heresy, that if they raise their hand a second time, that every man should be able to have a certain set of skills in a controlled physical and protective manner to answer it appropriately. Pussies cower, boys lose control, men stand, present the other cheek in such a manner That the person opposite them knows that it's probably going to be their last move, or you're going to die trying. So number 2, Matthew 5:40. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. So in this example, Jesus is talking about, I believe, exposing exploitation, where someone deliberately tries to take advantage of you. He's not talking about giving your stuff to homeless people who are able to work and don't want to. That's actually not what's going on here. So if you think about it in context again, in the first century Judea, in the Roman occupation, everyday life was incredibly hard for many Jews, especially the poor. Involved economic hardship, heavy taxation, and a vulnerability to lawsuit. Because often creditors, tax collectors like Matthew, opportunistic neighbors were exploiting Roman civil law. They could actually take you to court and sue you for the smallest things. So a tunic was an inner garment. It was like a long shirt that you wore under a cloak, and you wore it next to the skin. That's where we get the expression to take the shirt off someone, that we sued them, we took their shirt. Now, in modern terms, the shirt off your back is where we get that concept from. So that's the tunic. Now then there's a cloak. Now the cloak was an outer garment, often woolen, worn on the outside like a mantle or a robe. You wrapped it around the body. You'd use it at night if you were poor. If you lived living harsh, you'd use it as a blanket to keep yourself warm in winter. In Jewish law, in Exodus 22 and Deuteronomy 24, it's actually fiercely protected. So much so that if that was the only thing you had to secure a debt, that the debtor could have it during the day, but at night they had to give it back to the poor person. It was regarded at that level. So taking someone's cloak permanently was illegal and inhumane because it stripped them of basic dignity and rights. Now think about this. Jesus is describing a scenario when someone is in the small claims court. who can't afford to repay a small debt. And under the law, they could take your tunic but not your cloak. And Jesus is saying, let them have your cloak as well. You're standing in a court and a guy is being incredibly small-minded. Give him your tunic and then strip naked, hand over your cloak, and say, okay, you want to be petty about this? Let's get petty. Here I am, butt naked, and all your peers can see in this court Is that you've reduced and humiliated me like this. I'm fine with it. I'm butt naked. I work out. I'm sexy and I know it. Here's my cloak. Here's my tunic. Have it all. He was actually flipping the whole narrative. This creates an absurd— think of it. It creates an absurd and shocking picture. What are you doing in the bath? What's going on? I'm just not going to play by your rules. So you're going to do something petty to me. And I'm going to say, here you go, have more, have more of it. He's not teaching literal pacifism in every lawsuit. He's actually not encouraging people to be doormats or enablers of abuse. The whole statement is about creative nonviolence. It's about finding a way to show how someone is absurd and stupid. Now, this may have only ever happened to me. I'm sure you guys are a lot quicker off the mark than I am. But have you ever had those conversations with people and they just say dumb stuff, and you think about saying something and all you can think of saying is, you're a dick, and they're storming off? And about 15 minutes later, you get a really good retort. You go, man, if I'd said this and then they said this and then I said this, I would have been awesome. But you didn't. So what Jesus is doing is he's actually preparing them for it. He's preparing them with a retort because they were the sort of guys that were living in an environment and this sort of thing happened. He was saying, guys, I want you to think ahead. The culture is not going to change. The world's not going to change. How are you going to be able to get prepared to do this? The cloak is an act of surrender. It's not an act of weakness. It's actually the opposite. It's actually sovereignty. It's saying, this is who I am, and I'm really comfortable with me. And if you're going to be a child about this, okay, let's just— let's openly discuss You being a child, refusing to let greed and injustice get to you. There's ways, if we're smart enough and we take our time, that we can deal with it. So number 3, and this one's a classic, is go the extra mile. And it's often interpreted and misinterpreted, I believe, as people pleasing. Matthew 5:41, and if anyone forces you to go 1 mile, go with them 2. Again, the context is Roman law at the time. So the Roman law said that a soldier could walk up to any Jew in occupied Judea and say, here's my pack, here's my gear, I want you to walk that. And they were legally limited to only being able to walk it 1 mile. In fact, if they forced someone to carry their gear for 2 miles, then they were subject to their own law. They could be beaten, stripped of their rank. Publicly humiliated. So what Jesus is actually saying here is, "I want you to take back the initiative. I want you to disrupt with the unexpected and with the bold, because by insisting on going the extra mile, what you're actually doing is putting your oppressor at risk for retribution according to their own law." Don't be a pussy; be smart. He wasn't teaching about being owned by the coercion. He was actually teaching about working within the system, but according to your own rules and values. Say you're at work and the boss wants you to do something unethical. You know it's not right. You know it's not the right thing, and he's threatening you with all sorts of legal and whatever. Okay, yeah, that sucks. That's not good. Here's a thought for you. Don't whine. You know, don't even ask, push back. Listen, I understand I'm uncomfortable with this because this is not ethical. Yeah, but I really want you to do it. Yeah, but I'm really uncomfortable. Yeah, but I really want you to do it. Okay, fine. Document it clearly and then deal with it wisely. Go around them if you have to. Do whatever is necessary. Don't cower and don't submit to whatever the unethical behavior is, but do it in such a way as it exposes the unethical behavior. All right, you are asking me to do this. Dear boss, here's an email. You've asked me to do the following. I will do the following at your request. Print it off, put it in a folder, give it to HR, give it to the oversight, do whatever it is. You've been asked to do an illegal thing. That's not, that's not copacetic, but I'm going to do it and I'm going to do it in a way where I act beyond reproach. When someone tries to bully you into compliance, respond with calm, respond unhurried, and make them explain themselves. Particularly, I think, if it's in public. If you're in public and someone is trying to publicly humiliate you, then publicly challenge them because they won't like that. Because as they're standing there and trying to unpack the absurdity of what they're saying, then all of a sudden they're the ones that shame comes upon them. So the whole second mile thing is about— isn't about submission, it's about sovereignty. The whole cloak and tunic thing is about making injustice undeniable. You don't win by becoming a monster. You win by exposing it. And turning the other cheek is about holding your own space. Now, just remember, these 3 things don't stand in isolation. They are a concerted, calculated toolbox that required character. It inverts a power dynamic, and it's bloody hard to do. If you have a look at the books of the Acts all the way through the epistles, you've got these full-grown men who have walked with Jesus, wrestled with their flesh, and they're still not complying. So this is— I'm not suggesting this is easy stuff. Have a look at it. Turn the other cheek. All right, weeks or months after Jesus gave this teaching, the guards came to take Jesus away in Garden of Gethsemane, and Peter turns the other cheek by lopping off the ear of a Roman guard. Fail. That's a solid fail on that one. Give your coat. Okay, so give the coat. All right. The disciples are arguing over who's going to sit at the left hand and the right hand of God, and they get so enamored about wanting to get their own way at the cost of everybody else, they get their mothers involved. Okay, okay, fail. That's a solid fail. Going the extra mile. Reclaiming your initiative over coercion. Peter vocally denies Jesus and everybody else runs off. So I'm not suggesting that these are easy things to do. I'm suggesting for all of us in our understanding of who we are as men, as Christian men, that these are tenets that we can live our life by. Philippians 1:6 says, and I am sure of this, that he who has begun a good work in you will bring it to completion At the day of Christ, in other words, this is going to take a lifetime, and only we're going to only get it right when we walk into eternity. Unfortunately, throat punching a moron isn't a fruit of the spirit. So that's one of those things that we all wish he wrote in there somewhere, but unfortunately he can't. So people on TikTok, people on Instagram, thanks for joining us. Fellas, if you want to dive into the conversation, manchurch.online. Join the Zoom and subscribe till next month. Cheerio.