Two hunters head out for their first deer hunt, using doe urine as bait and dealing with freezing temperatures in a stand. They manage to bag one yearling worth about 15 pounds after spending roughly $700 on the trip, and reflect on whether it was worth it.
It's the first morning of the hunt, and I'm standing out here and it's dark, and apparently what I have to do is spray my feet with deer urine, doe urine, and then spray the ground. Apparently bucks Find that attractive. I'm sort of glad I'm not a buck. It's quite odd. So I'm going up in this thing. It's going to be quite fun. I'm actually pretty pumped. I've eaten meat for 48 hours. It's a, it's a, I'm having a man time. So another episode of Man on First Hunt, Man versus Deer. I've just discovered something again this morning, that a man's need to go to the restroom only really establishes itself after he's in the deer stand and is settled. I'm not sure how, how to do that differently. And it's really quite complicated getting undressed, I discovered this morning, in the middle of the woods. I've got a lot of clothing on. A lot of clothing. It takes a long time. Man vs. Bambi, Part 3. I'd stand up and stretch my legs, but I can't feel my bum anymore. It's frozen.
I think the deer hate me.
I feel like I'm in like a really bad Austin Powers meets Dr. Dolittle movie. You're making like deer shagging sounds.
Waiting.
My first deer hunting trip has been very uneventful.
I've worked out why men take up hunting. It's because you get to sit alone in a tree for hours on end. The wife and the kids Shh, shh, shh, please, they're not allowed to talk. This is brilliant, fellas. I hope they never find out about it. Man versus Bambi, day 2.
Day 3, man versus Bambi.
This is the final day. Man versus Bambi. The final countdown. This is Big Buck Saturday. I was just having a think. So far I've shot One yearling. It's yielded about 15 pounds of meat.
About that.
I spent about $700 on the trip. So, so far it's costing me $46 a pound. That's a lot of money. Just a thought. Maybe Costco's is better value. And you stay warm there. No, you really do. It's a lot warmer in Costco's. Man versus Bambi, the reprieve. Nothing came of Big Buck Saturday. Nothing at all. Didn't see a stinkin' thing all day. I've worked out I've spent 26 hours in deer stands so far. I'm hoping that we'll get something this morning before we head home. I'm hoping that we'll get something this morning before we head home. If not, then all I've really got is a pain in the butt for 4 days. Literally, a pain in the butt for 4 days. These seats aren't very comfortable. I better gear up. Well, that's it, folks. I'm at home. The deer of Missouri. Are officially safe. Got nothing again. I think what I'll do is go out and buy, like, Wii Hunter and sit around and eat beef jerky and, um, shoot little electronic deer. I might have better luck.
