Dr. John A. King examines how married couples become one flesh while staying distinct. Early on, partners celebrate their differences, but life pressures like work and finances can make those same differences feel like obstacles. He urges couples to keep honoring what makes their spouse unique to preserve the love that brought them together.
Hey, I was talking with a mate yesterday and we were talking about the nature of marriages and relationships. I'm 49 and he's in his mid-40s and we've got a lot of friends going through different things in their life and different stages of marriage. And I was just reflecting over my quiet time this morning about the nature of marriage. And, you know, in the Bible it says that when God made Eve, he took Eve out of Adam. So he removed her, and Eve was distinct and different from Adam. And, you know, the two became one flesh, but they still had their distinct and different parts that came together. And I think early on in relationships, there's a sense that those two parts are very heavily overlapped. And we spend a lot of time celebrating the distinct and different aspects of each other. And as time goes on, I think what happens is that life pulls us apart and we end up being stretched because of those distinct and different parts— work, money, job, career, study, etc. And what happens is that we end up losing sight of each other and the commonalities that we once shared as key aspects of our relationships. Those things that drew us to each other, those distinct and different aspects of our personality, our likes, our desires, are no longer celebrated but are seen as obstacles for The relationship being able to go on. And I think, you know, we lose sight of that, that men and women are basically just different in every aspect of life. And when you get to a stage in marriage and you're no longer celebrating the distinct and different natures of each other, then it's very easy, as I said earlier on, to lose sight of what it was that drew you to each other. I think when it comes to the celebration of the distinct and different, if you hold that to the forefront of your mind and visit and dwell and think on those things, then that enables you, like you did earlier on, to celebrate those overlapping areas to such a greater extent and to remember why you fell in love And why that person, you know, was ultimately, you know, and became your very best friend, and you chose and made a decision to live with them for the rest of your life.
