Dr. John A. King argues that defining yourself by trauma keeps you stuck in victimhood, blocking real healing. He says you must tend the root of the wound, not just its symptoms, and reframe your scars as medals of honor instead of anchors to shame.
Will either refine you or define you. Be the very place that you anchor yourself in. A lot of people anchor themselves in trauma that way. They anchor themselves in the things that were done to them, not by them. We're very graceful with everybody else in our lives, very rarely with ourselves. And I realized I could not allow myself the room to be a victim or to tolerate the victim mentality. If I did that, it would be the death of me. A lot of people don't ever graduate from that. And probably the biggest thing that inhibits healing is allowing yourself to bask in the attention that comes with a victim mentality. Be it childhood sexual abuse, be it military, be it police, be it a divorce situation or a violent incident. At some point, we have to turn our scars of shame into medals of honor. That's a very important thing to do regardless of how you came upon it. Trauma's trauma. It grows different fruit. So if we're not dealing with the tree of this thing, we'll never deal with the fruit of the thing. I'm Dr. John A. King.
