In this monologue, Dr. John A. King recounts a recent attempt to install a ceiling fan—a task that used to be easy for him but now feels overwhelming. He describes the surge of frustration and feelings of inadequacy that arise when he cannot understand the wiring instructions, linking this emotional reaction to his experience with PTSD. King outlines a step‑by‑step coping process: he deliberately slows down, breathes, reframes the activity as enjoyable, takes a break (e.g., a cigar), and enlists help from his partner Melissa and a trusted male friend. He references the psychological “7 ± 2” working‑memory limit, explaining that heightened tension reduces problem‑solving capacity, while relaxation expands it. The presence of supportive relationships—partner dialogue and the unspoken, shoulder‑to‑shoulder bond with a male friend—proved pivotal in completing the installation. King uses this concrete episode, dubbed the “2018 fan meltown,” to illustrate broader strategies for managing everyday stressors and advancing recovery from PTSD.
Chapters
One of the things I find challenging is when I'm confronted with a task that I used to find really easy and enjoyable is now a real trial. You know, I'm sitting here just simply trying to read instructions to putting up a ceiling fan, and I'm looking at the words, but I'm not understanding, you know, the terms, the wiring terms and all that. And then that kicks into the whole frustration angle that kicks into— Frustration. Yeah, I can feel it building, you know, like a rage thing. Not at anyone, but just at the impossibility and the ridiculous nature of not being able to do a very simple fucking task like putting up a ceiling fan. And even though I'm self-aware, even though I'm aware of what's going on, you know, I get confronted with this stuff out of the blue and I feel so inadequate and I hate that feeling. And you've just got to reset, stay calm, and just try. And when confronted with a situation like that, I think you just have to pull back a little bit, slow down, and realize that you do enjoy it. And although things aren't coming to you the way they were, they will come to you. And by slowing down, making the decision to enjoy it, You know, I know I'll go and get a cigar now and I'll see it and I'll probably get Melissa to come and help me read it so I understand it. And then by going through that process, this then makes it an enjoyable thing because the principle of, you know, 7 plus or minus 2 that I talked about means that the more tense I get, the less able I am to find a solution. The more relaxed and enjoyable I am, the greater I can see possibilities. And that is always a way through a difficult situation. When sometimes it's even the smallest things, is just relax, regather, regroup, breathe in, breathe out, and it'll come to you. You know, yesterday, the fan meltdown of 2018, well, it actually went quite well. As you can see, it's all up and running and Well, it is actually running. You couldn't see it then. So once I realized I'd identified what was going on, and I sat with Mal and I went through the instructions, and I still was having a challenge comprehending some very simple things. So I rang a very trusted mate, a guy I knew who I could say, listen, I'm having a bit of a time here, can you just give us a hand? And he'd hear what I wasn't saying, and he turned up and It was just phenomenal. It just made everything level out. It was calm. It was that unspoken bond between men. You know, women dialogue face-to-face, men shoulder-to-shoulder. So I'm sitting working on a mate on something I'm feeling vulnerable about, and it just came good. And you've got to have those people around you in order to move forward.
