Dr. John A. King explains why trauma should be a reference point, not where you live. The past shapes you but shouldn't define you or trap you in memories. Dwelling on what happened blocks your ability to actually inhabit your future.
I think with coming to terms with trauma or with post-traumatic stress or complex post-traumatic stress, one key is to understand that where you've come from doesn't define you going forward. That whatever you've been through needs to be a place of reference, not a place of residence. So many people dwell in their past. They— and understand this, that your past will either define you or refine you going forward. What you've been through is that reference point that you can look back to and say, you know, that happened, that caused change within me and within how I operate in my day-to-day life, but it doesn't define me. It is that reference point that I can look back to, but it is not the residence, the place that I am residing at. So many people live in their past and that inhibits them from inhabiting their future.
