#168: The #1 Mistake Preventing You From Losing Weight with Melissa Vogel

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Hi, I'm Dr. Tabatha, the Gutsy Gynecologist. I'm a triple board-certified OB-GYN and functional medicine physician. I've embraced the world of functional medicine and wellness through my own personal health journey, and I'm super excited to share my wisdom and unique perspective as it pertains to women's health. After caring for thousands of women, I've come to realize that your gut health determines your gyn health and your overall And it's a super gutsy thing for me to go against conventional gynecology practice to bring you the truth. No more Band-Aid medicine, ladies. We're talking root cause resolution on this show. So if you're struggling with hormone imbalance, weight gain, period issues, anxiety, insomnia, you name it, then you've come to the right place. And I want to be your gutsy gynecologist. So welcome.

Thank you.

Hey, ladies, welcome back. Do you know the number one mistake we women make when we're trying to lose weight and look good? I don't think you do, but my guest today definitely does. So I'm really excited for this episode. I was recently on her podcast and we had an amazing discussion about how hormones affect Our ability to be strong and healthy and lose weight and get in shape. And if you look at my guest, you're going to be like, I want to look like her. And she's going to tell us how to do that. And she's going to break down some myths and talk about the number one thing that really is preventing us from losing that excess weight and getting that lean look and being strong and healthy and fit. So I'm super excited. Melissa Vogel. She is a fitness expert with over 20 years of experience. She's a business owner, a second-degree black belt in taekwondo—

wow—

white belt in jiu-jitsu. She's a model, actress, and overall busy mom of 3 girls that inspires both women and men on their own fitness journeys. She's so awesome, you guys. You're going to love her. Melissa knows the journey. Having lost 60-plus pounds, she's now the fittest she's ever been in her life and continues to grow in her mindset and health. She's the creator and owner of the online moms-only coaching group Busy to Bomb Fit Mom. I love that. It's a mouthful. She gets busy moms back to getting fit. Sometimes you're getting fit for the first time, sometimes you're going, you know, trying to reclaim what you used to be. But she's going to do this with mindset work, vision, balance, and combining also proper nutrition and exercise. And we are going to talk about exercise and how women are getting it wrong and what we really need to be focusing on. And you just need to look at her to know that you need to do what she says. Like, she knows what she's talking about. Melissa is also the host of the Bomb Mom Podcast. She entertains many different speakers on several topics in order to broaden listeners' ideas of what health really is, to inspire listeners to find new avenues to set, reach, and maintain their goals. Melissa is not afraid to speak on topics others may find taboo or embarrassing in order to empower other women. So I love that. So good. So let's dive in. You're going to want to share this with All of your friends. It's a really good episode because we need to get in shape and we need to do it the right way that is sustainable, that works with our life, and is going to serve us into the second half of our life, into our next phases of our life. Because you're not always going to be a mom, you're not always going to have little kids, you're not always going to be— Working to get your career going. Those things are all going to happen, and you want to enjoy the ride, and you want to enjoy the person that you are once those things change and maybe go away or shift. So this episode is really important. We're going to talk about all of that. I'm super excited. So here we go. Oh my gosh, Melissa, welcome to the Gutsy Gynecologist Show.

Thank you for having me on.

Yeah, I'm so excited to talk to you because everything you say, I'm just always in my head going, yes, girl, preach it, say it, sing it, because I couldn't agree with you more. We need to shift our mindset in order to shift our bodies, right?

Absolutely. They have to be connected. And not enough people are talking about this. Not enough people are being honest with other women about What real transformation looks like.

Oh, I love that. What does real transformation look like? So it's not just about going to the gym. It's not about getting your 30 minutes of cardio. Like, that really is the least important piece of it, right?

It really is. And people think, you know, and I get asked all the time, like, how do you do it? You know, what's your trick? And people usually ask that jokingly, like, what's the secret? And I always want to respond with the truth. But half the time, you know, they don't really want to hear the real response. They want to hear, what's the best squat for my butt? And how many do I really have to do? But I'm sitting there thinking in the back of my mind is like, you have to have an identity shift. You want to know the secret? You have to literally change who you are on the inside and the outside at the same time.

Oh my gosh, that's so good. You guys, I hope you're hearing this because This is what I'm trying to harp on all the time about, is reconnecting the body, mind, and spirit, figuring out who the heck you are and what kind of life you're living on a daily basis. I always say, envision the woman that you want to become and then ask yourself, what is she doing on a daily basis? What do those activities look like? And I heard you on a podcast saying the same thing, and I was like, that is my girl.

Yes.

Right?

Yeah.

How did you get to understand this and come to know this?

Honestly, screwing up, messing up with myself.

Thank you for being honest, because women need to hear that. Like, we have done the struggle. That's why we're talking about this.

Yeah, it is. I have messed up my own journey, but that got me to where I'm at today. You know, and honestly, it sounds like funny and weird, but like, I've screwed up with my clients. Like, I've done clients dirty over the years, but I thought I was—

Not intentionally, right?

Not intentionally, but—

But that's how you learn.

I thought I was doing the best. Like, they come to my gym, I train them, I work them out. I'm like, good luck. See you in 2 days or tomorrow or whatever. And I just kept them on that hamster wheel. And after my last baby, I put on almost 70 pounds. Wow. And that was not a 70-pound baby. Everything I was doing before or wanted to do when I was younger, it didn't work anymore.

Oh, my God.

I hear that all the time.

Yes. And I was so frustrated with myself, which just made it worse. Stressing over it just made it worse and made me not produce the right hormones to help with the weight loss and everything going on. And I had to really stop and think about What is my end goal here? I just kept saying, I need to lose the weight. I need to lose 40 pounds. I need to lose 60 pounds. I need, I need to do this. Okay, great. But like, we call it her person B. Who is she? What does she look like? You know, right down to like, what kind of hair do you have? Did you cut it? Is it still long? Like, do you wear Walmart leggings or Lululemon? You know, like—

Right.

How does she act? Does she drink? Does she go out and party? Does she stay at home? Does she have a new habit? Does she You know, go to the gym, on vacation. And women don't get down to that nitty gritty of like, okay, who do I really want to become? How does she act, behave? You know, what's her identity? And we think that we can just transform the outside and then like, oh, we'll just know how to be her.

Yeah. And it does not happen. I literally remember, you know, I was on my probably 30th patient of the day, and I just looked at my medical assistant. I was like, I just want to sit down and drink coffee while I talk to my patients. I want I want to have worked out already. I am miserable. And as soon as I said that out loud, something shifted in me forever because then I thought, I want to be a different person and I've made it known to the universe. And then all of a sudden I started thinking, how could I do that? How could I drink my coffee when I'm seeing my patients? How could I work out in the mornings? And here I was a year later. Running my practice from home, drinking my coffee, having worked out beforehand. And it's amazing what you can do when you create intention.

Yeah, we're totally a sister from a different mister because what you're saying right now, I can totally relate to because it was the same thing with training my clients. And I'm like, I want to know what they're doing when they leave here.

Yeah.

How's their relationships with their significant other? And what are you eating? And what are you turning to when you need comfort? And what do you do for stress relief besides here where I'm pushing you hard and whatever? And I'm like, I really need and want to know what's going on in your life. How do I make this happen? And that's when I really started making the shift to training and creating my online program because I'm like, we don't just need someone yelling at us for 45 minutes or telling us how to work out. It's great.

I mean, it's a great tool to have, but that's 1 hour of the day.

And that's it. Especially a working mom. Our days don't stop. They are go, go, go, go, go. And we don't fit in the time for us. And all that go, go, go and the stress adds up. And then we're either not eating and we're starving ourselves, Which is equally as bad, or we're like grabbing on-the-go, fast, packaged, processed food, which is equally as bad. And it adds up to where we're at.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, you've hit the nail on the head. This is what I hear from patients all day long. We're all on the struggle bus together. We're literally all just focused on the wrong thing. So Melissa's going to explain to you guys Actually getting healthy and fit and in shape and having a life you love is not about going to the gym. It's so much more. So you run these boot camps. Tell me, like, what does it look like when women are first coming into this and then when they're finally like, ah, I'm getting it. I need consistency.

I need—

Mm-hmm. Some bigger goal or purpose or vision. What does that transformation look like?

It's really cool to watch. So the boot camp that I do, I run them every couple of months, and it's a free boot camp. It's a free 5-day. We actually start today, which is crazy that we're talking about this because I get to see all the brand new people today and I get to hear their stories and their journeys, and I make them do just a little bit of homework. I put, like, a homework badge out there, and I'm, like, asking questions of how are you currently working out? Who do you want to become? What's holding you back? Where are you at right now? The first training, we dive into, like, what's going on, girl? Give it to me. And everyone's in the same boat. It's crazy that we all live the same life and they're struggling and they're hurting and they all think the same thing of, like, well, I thought we were just going to talk about what workouts I need to do. And I'm like, do you know how much free stuff is out there? Like, you can go on YouTube, Google free workouts.

Oh my God, we should all be so sculpted. And like, there is literally an endless supply of workouts. That is not the issue.

It's so true. It's out there. That's not what we need. And women, I always say we need a fitness mama. Like, just like you need a doctor, you need other people in your life and helping you and learn your body. We need a fitness mama. You know, we're always telling the kids, brush your teeth.

Did you do this?

Pack your lunch, pick up your stuff. And there's no one really there helping us in making sure we put in the reps to the things that we need to do. And in the very beginning, I'm telling women, like, take down your walls. Listen, it's okay. It's okay to need help. It's okay to not know how to do everything because we get in this supermom mode and we're like, we can do it all.

Right.

I don't need help. I know how to do all this. I can do it all. And it's really letting women see it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to work with others. Like, women thrive in tribes.

Oh my gosh. So much. Yes. That's how we were actually created to be. We were created to be in a community, in a sisterhood. I love that we have that.

Oh, it's, it's so important. And, you know, we don't do anything else alone. Like, think about it. Like our religion, we have church and temple and we're surrounded by communities. Our children, we have teachers and coaches that help us with them and grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles. Like, we don't do anything really, like, alone, solo, yet we think we're supposed to take on our health, hormones, gut health, weight training, nutrition, everything to do with us alone.

Yeah.

Oh my God. Like, no, I got— I know what I need to do. I hear that all the time from newbies. I know what I need to do. And I'm like, but are you doing it?

That's the real question, ladies. Are you doing it? So that's why I love you, because you just say it like it is. We need to hear that. Like, I need a slap in the face once in a while. And listening to you on your podcast just saying, let's get real. We need that realization. We need the mirror put up to our face. Yeah, you have all of the resources. Are you using them? What's the biggest reason women aren't using them?

I think a lot of women are scared. It's crazy when you start really diving in and you start, like, peeling the layers of the onion of like, okay, it's really not that you don't have time. I don't have time. I have like 30 jobs and too many kids. Like, I truly don't have time, but I still fit it in. And when you start peeling back these layers, there's, there's hidden fears of like, you know, when you get in there, if I change, what will my marriage look like? Will he still love me? You know, or sometimes it's the partner that's like, Mm-hmm. Who are you getting fit for? Right?

Why are you upset or threatened? Because they're not in shape. They're not working out for sure.

It brings out other insecurities. And some women, they're like, well, my whole family is overweight. This is just what we do. How am I going to go to family lunch on Sundays now and I'm not going to eat all those, the meal and the food there? This fear of like becoming different because when you really get your act together and you become fit and you lose body weight and you actually see shape in your face, you know, people are triggered by that. And women don't realize how much that stops them and puts a halt on their fitness journey. But we think, you know, oh, it's because I don't have time. And you know, I just, I eat too much fast food. I know I need to go on a diet. We use all these words, but really no one's looking at well. Did you dive in and think what it'd be like to be the black sheep of your family? And are you strong enough? Are you doing the mental work with the physical work to be able to say, no, I'm cool. You know, I don't, I don't drink anymore. You know, like, I got goals. I'm working on abs. You know, like, that really— like, our environment affects us so much. It can make or break a woman hitting her goals and maintaining it, or hitting her goals and then like losing it again. And then like the shame and the guilt kicks in and then she puts the weight on again and then she loses it. And it's so sad. But yeah, my answer overall to that question is it truly is, I think, environment, a lot of it.

Oh, you are so right on. You actually triggered something in me. I, a few months ago, was at the gym and I felt like I was making really good strides. I was like, Oh my gosh! Like I look good. I've got some definition, and I had a thought: What if this repels my patients and my followers because they can no longer relate to me as a real normal woman because I look too much in shape, too healthy? And I thought, you know, at the time I actually didn't process that thought in. a conscious way. It just now has come to the surface from what you were saying, and that affected me. I pulled back.

You will. Isn't that crazy?

And now that I am aware of this— thank you, Melissa— now I need to go balls to the wall and I need to own it. Now I need to say, you know what? You can get into shape. You can overcome these obstacles. And still be accepted and still be loved. Because I think women, like you're saying, they're afraid to change because people will stop loving them or accepting them. And you have to just be secure in you and knowing you and do it anyway. So thank you for that. I'm going to lift harder weights tomorrow. That's right.

Well, and if we all think like this, truly think about that, if we're all like, Ooh, but if I do that, then this, because I've had that too, especially with me. Like, I don't want to get too much muscle or ripped because then people will be like, I don't want to look like that or whatever. It doesn't matter. It's my own journey. But if we all think like that, we won't have anyone to aspire to. We're screwed. And I love that I have been all different sizes and I've worked my butt off to get where I'm at now. And I'm working hard to maintain it. And I tell women all the time, I've never— I haven't always been this person. She's new to me still.

Yes.

And that's okay. And I also love showing women that it is possible. You can have kids, you can work, you can do all the things and volleyball and tournaments and, you know, classes and everything. And still be fit. Someone has to lead the way. Someone has to show people that it's possible and give them hope and be like, you know what? If she can do it, then so can I. Like, yes!

Exactly. And you can do all of those other things so much easier and you actually will enjoy them because you are going to be healthy and have the energy and not be on the struggle bus all the time, right?

Yeah.

When I work out consistently, my whole day goes 100% different than if I am not working out. It just goes sideways if I'm not.

It's so true. But people think the opposite, like, oh my God, I'm already tired, right? And you want me to go exert more energy? I'm like, no, but it gives you more energy when you use energy. Yeah. And they're like, you're right.

Such a super important point.

Oh my God. Yeah.

So you get women in, you help them realize it's their mindset. They need to be having a growth, open mindset, like, visualize what can I become? And then how do you actually get from the visualization, that initial desire, to turning into that woman?

Right? How does that all happen? I always say, and I don't know where the saying came from. I wish I did. It's probably like Tony Robbins or something, but massive activity cures all. And I say that all the time to my clients because they're like, well, what do I do? How do I do it? And I'm like, activity, massive activity. You want to start taking that vision and create it and become your reality? We have to start taking massive action. And that could just be like, I'm going to take massive action every day, read 10 pages of this— we used Atomic Habits just last month. We read that book. I'm like, that's activity. Or, I'm going to start actually paying attention to the food labels and eating cleaner and collecting data and paying attention to how many calories am I consuming in a day? How many am I burning? That's activity. And then, I'm going to start showing up at the gym. And I don't care if you're showing up every day, 30 minutes, you're getting on that treadmill and you're leaving. It's activity. It's working towards something. But with my program, we always make sure people start first with building the car before you enter the race. Too many people try to just jump in the race. And I have people that come into the program too, and they're like, no, put me in, coach. And I'm like, no, we need some practice. You're going to stay on the sideline for a little bit. And we take that first month, and I don't even mix them with the main program yet. I keep them separate and I tell them, we're going to build your car, make sure you've got a nice sturdy car, and then you're going to enter the race. And that way we're laying the foundation. We're like building that huge house and putting that foundation there of learning, okay, where am I going? Who am I becoming and why am I doing it? And then we're diving into nutrition. Okay, let's start taking a look. What are you eating every single day? And each week we start breaking it down and that starts laying the path, one paver after another after another. And then we work on mindset. How do you currently speak to yourself? How do you speak to your kids? How do you allow others to speak to you? Are you letting outside things affect them? And it's crazy that while they're building that car and they're taking these first steps, other people take notice. So right off the bat, they get to experience kind of people making the comments and being like, oh, you're doing this bomb mom thing. Oh, you're dieting. I have them in this small, close group to help them. I would say we clip on our Wonder Woman wrist thing and we're just blocking all the hate. And it's really important to have that experience and have people throw stuff at you while you're so closely connected to me. And I love it. And that hits a lot during mindset week. And then we start really looking at weight training and resistance training, and I'm creating and designing the workouts for them and dropping them in so they're working out, too, while building their car, and they have a lot of questions and we're growing through it. And then once you have that solid car and you've learned a lot, then we put you into the main group. Now you're ready to join the race. Now you're ready to be with others. So it really is breaking down your journey just one step at a time, learning, growing, having setbacks, right? Because not every week, especially when you're onboarding, It's going to be pretty, it's going to be ugly. And I'm like, it's okay, have ugly weeks. They're going to happen. Before, they would set you off and you'd fall off the wagon. Now we're going to repurpose that. Well, what happened? Oh, this was my week. I didn't plan, I didn't prepare. Great. Now we can take that and learn for next week.

Oh my gosh, I love that so much. I think putting all those foundations into place is probably the biggest differentiator between you and all the other fitness coaches out there. And that's why you are having the transformations and they're sticking. They're staying in their maintenance and they're continuing to just thrive because, like you said, you can't just jump in the race and do all of the physical things. It's not sustainable. If you're still telling yourself you're fat, you look bad in your clothes, you're not as good as your friend or whatever, like— You will sabotage yourself so quickly. You really will. Like, I see it all the time. Women are like, oh yeah, I lost 30 pounds and I gained it all back. Yeah, because you didn't do the mindset work.

Well, and our brain, it loves what's familiar. Oh, yeah. You know, and, and who we are now and who that person is right now, that's what she knows, whether it's not serving her and not healthy or not. It doesn't matter. Our brain just loves what's familiar. And when you do lose weight, you know, and transform, your brain is going to constantly be fighting that and being like, ooh, this is awkward.

This is weird.

Like, I mean, I know I look good, but like, how do I just get kind of back to where I was? Because that's safe and familiar. This is unknown territory.

Yeah. So you're putting women in a group where they can all feel that together so they have some support and that can start to make it feel comfortable, right, in their discomfort. I think it's so important for us to embrace the journey. You know, myself, I'm always trying to look at the goal. I'm always trying to get to the outcome. And I have to— God's constantly reminding me, enjoy the journey. Settle down. Enjoy the journey. Be present. Get into it. And I think a lot of women struggle with that piece. So I love that you are just Having them own it and just be all in, ever present, right?

Yeah. Well, it doesn't help that we live in such an instant gratification world right now.

Yeah.

And everything, like, the internet's not fast enough. I can't connect. I can't swipe fast enough. And it doesn't help with our fitness journey because then we're like, oh my God, I ate a salad for 4 days. Where's my abs?

Right?

Right. And it's even longer and harder with muscle growth. Everyone talks about losing fat and weight, and what we really want is to put on muscle because you don't want to look like a deflated balloon.

That's good.

Yeah. Yeah. You want, like, curve to your shoulders and you want to be able to pick something up and be like, oh, hello, bicep. We want that look and it's functional. It's strong. We want muscle. And people don't talk about How long it takes to put on muscle. If I'm watching someone's stats and I'm like, oh my God, you're down 0.5% body fat and you're up 0.5% muscle, that's huge. And they're like, what, 0.5%? And I'm like, you do know that if you lost 3% body fat, that's huge, right? And we have no concept of small numbers and how important it is to just take time and how long it takes to build muscle because we're ripping it, repairing it, ripping it, repairing it. And it has to happen over and over and over again. And you can only train your muscles so many times in one week and you got to be patient. That's got to happen again. And then before we know it, we're having our period and it's not a great training week. So we're losing a week kind of there and it's a long process. But if you just learn to relax and enjoy the journey and grow from it. Oh my God, it's going to be way more enjoyable for you.

Oh, without a doubt. So we need to enjoy the journey, embrace it, not look for instant gratification. What do you think is the biggest reason women are struggling to gain muscle? Are we working out wrong? Are we eating wrong? Like, at least throw us a little tip of what we can shift today I want everybody to join your boot camp and just go through it. I think it's absolutely necessary, but I suspect I know the answer that you're going to give me.

Unfortunately, people are working out wrong. And I say this with love, and I say, too, all the time to my clients, you can't screw up fitness. You really can't. I'm going to be happy if you're walking. I'm going to be happy if you're doing a class, if you're moving your body and you enjoy it and you like it. Like, yes, that's what I want. However, if your goal is to put on muscle, I hate to tell you, but going to that spin class that you just love and you get bike number 5 and it's yours and you have this, it's not going to help you build and grow and get you where you want. And that's hard to say, too, because I am a group fitness instructor. I've taught classes for years and I love having people, you know, line up and get in and having like 50 women in a room at once and encouraging them and motivating them. It's like the best part of their day sometimes. They're like, this was amazing! Like, I can't wait for tomorrow or next week. However, everything can't be fun and like, yes! Like, you've got to get in a squat rack and push up some heavy weight.

Yeah.

And when you do get to a point where you're lean and you're like, okay, I'm not totally overweight now, I'm looking to cut and get lean, you got to watch how much cardio you do. I don't do a whole lot of cardio. And people think all the time, oh, you're a runner, huh? Do you run? And I'm like, no, it actually can decrease your muscle gains a little bit. So I have to watch it carefully. I have to help my clients watch that a little bit. And if people are running and they love running, I'm like, don't stop if it's doing more mental good than anything else. Do not stop running. However, what are your goals? And she's like, I really want to put on muscle. I'm like, okay, we need to adjust the schedule then. Instead of 4 days, we're looking at 1 or 2. Can you do that? Yes. Okay. But we get so suckered into the fun stuff, the spin class and the music and going to your favorite Zumba class. And a lot of people signed up for, especially over COVID, like the Beachbodies and on-demand things. And great, I can do it at home. Awesome. Do it. It's a great tool to have in your toolbox. You're going to burn calories. It's great for your heart and lungs. It's great to sweat. I love it. But if your goal is to truly put on muscle, you have to do resistance training. And we're talking like 4 or 5 days a week.

Yeah.

You have to shift. You have to have a leg day. You have to have a back and chest day, bicep and tricep day, shoulder day. And really separate and pull those muscles out. And most people aren't trainers. Most people don't know how to do that. So that's where I'm like, it's okay to ask for help. It's okay to get a coach. And that takes me into a whole nother topic of becoming dependent on a trainer.

Right. But I think you hit on a couple of important points. Somebody's going to ask me, Why is running so bad? And, you know, I will share my story. Like, I love running for the mental dump. Like, literally, it takes out all the trash. It's so good, that runner's high. But it put me into menopause. Like, it tanked my sex hormones because there is so much cortisol production going on when you're running. It's just this constant stress on your body.

Yeah.

And if you do that Every day, 5 times a week, something like that. That is all going to break you down. That's all very catabolic. So you're breaking down muscle, you're not building it up. I felt stronger, but I also felt weaker in other aspects. So I love that you're really mindful of this and you're showing women there's a better way to do this and let's be balanced about it.

Yeah. And we just have to be honest. Like, I go to the gym and many times I'm the only chick over there by the dumbbells and the weights. And I'm just like, where are all my girls at? You know?

Right.

They're all on the elliptical or they're all in a class or on the treadmill. And I'm like, oh, I just, I want them over here with me more. So I like that we're talking about this. I like that we're getting this message out and being honest with women and Maybe someone will hear this and they'll go, I'm going to get off the elliptical right now and I'm going to go pick up that barbell and do a couple of curls.

Yeah, because when you start strengthening your muscles, you become a fat-burning machine, right? Muscle keeps your blood sugar in check. It helps you burn your fat off. Like, it actually helps you lose weight and keep it in check. And people are so focused on the scale and that's just That's not the right thing to be looking at.

My last challenge, my winner in 4 weeks dropped 2.6% body fat and she increased her muscle, I think, 1.5%. And her weight didn't really change. And I announced it the other day because we do a challenge every month. My main program, we do a challenge. Like, if you're looking for a 4-week kick in the butt, And then we do, like, the free boot camp. That's just 5 days. And the challenge, I had people saying, well, wait a minute, how did she— she didn't— I lost 10 pounds. I'm like, yeah, but she lost more body fat and she increased her muscle. That's the winner. That overall right there, that's the winner. And she's like, I would have never thought that. She's like, if you hadn't made me watch and track, she's like, I would have thought I did 4 weeks. And had no changes.

Yeah.

And like, this is why it's important to watch and to grow and to take those, you know, photos and before and afters. But that muscle, man, it's a beautiful thing. I say it's a fountain of youth. Like, you want to know?

It is.

Weight training is the fountain of youth. Yeah.

I just was watching a 96-year-old cross the street yesterday. my husband's grandma, great-grandma. And I'm just thinking, that's what's important. You need muscle to function. You need muscle to carry that skeleton, to carry that body. And I want to keep that strong until my last day.

Yeah.

And you have to start now, right? Like, it's only going to get harder as we lose our hormones. So, oh my gosh, this is so good. This is so awesome. I love all of this. Okay, so you are doing the free boot camp. It's a 5-day challenge. Are you teaching women how to use weights and how to do this kind of stuff? Because I know that women are going to be like, I've never done that. I'm scared. I'm not signing up for that. I don't know what to do.

Yeah, we talk about that in the free boot camp. We touch on it on the last day of training. We talk a lot about the mind-muscle connection, slowing down, proper sets and stuff. But in order for me to really become like your virtual personal trainer, the app that you get with my program, my BombBomb app, I'm personally creating and designing all the workouts. So I'm always like 2 or 3 weeks ahead of the group because I put my body through the wringer first. I learn that made my butt sore, that hit my delts, that hit my bicep, that really worked. The opposite of like, ooh, I did not like that sumo squat combined with walks. Like, I felt it pull up my girl parts, things that a man, a male trainer won't know.

Yeah.

We have to be careful. We can pull and feel and tweak that. We have boobs. We can't do a preacher curl the same as a man. So I put my body through the wringer, and then I'm videoing not in a studio, not with a white background. My videos are me in the gym actually pushing hard through rep 6, 7, 8. So you guys actually see what fatigue looks like, what it looks like to breathe, have the ugly face. And that's like my training video that you guys get. So when I'm like squats, you click a button and it shows you. And then a cool part when you're in that, my main group, Bomb Mom, we have women video themselves. I'm like, prop up that phone, post it to the group. That takes guts. But they do it, and then I can watch, and I'm like, do you see your right knee? And do you see how your shoulder is starting to kick in when you're doing the bicep curl or whatever? And she's like, oh my God, I would have never noticed that. I'm like, that's why you video yourself. I always recommend women video yourself. Get a big water bottle, prop your phone up behind it so no one sees it, and hit record and watch yourself. And then when you're with me, I can help you critique it even more. And I can tell you, you're doing way too much weight. Drop, and I want you hitting around 10 reps. Whatever you're doing, drop the weight, change it up. So it's constant. It's always a constant conversation about reps, sets, technique, form, slowing down. And I do it to myself. I video myself still, but we're just not born knowing these things. And I want everyone to have proper form and technique. And it's really cool to watch women go through that journey, or if another woman posts Someone else will jump in and be like, okay, I'm not the trainer, but I know Melissa would tell you probably to do this. And I'm like, you nailed it. You got it right. Because they've learned over the months.

Oh, that's so cool. I love it. So it feels like you have a virtual trainer. You're getting that feedback. You're not just off guessing.

And here's the super important part. They're not becoming dependent on me. That was a huge issue when I was a trainer. People would only show up If they could or I could. But if I canceled or they had to cancel, that workout didn't happen.

Ah.

And they didn't think for themselves. I always told them how many sets and reps to do. I always told them how much weight to grab, or I brought it to them. With me and the way we've designed this program, and that's why I just love it so much, yes, I'm delivering you stuff, the things that your brain can't and shouldn't come up with. I'm coming up with that. You still have to go to the gym. You still have to schedule it. You have to pick up a 5-pound and see if you can do it, or the 7-pound or the 10-pound. I'm making you still think so there's not this unhealthy dependency happening.

Mm.

And it happened way too much. And that was the last— that was the final straw for me when, like, I had 10 clients in a row that say, oh, I'm not— you know, I can't make it today. I'll just see you next week. And they wouldn't work out. And I saw it again and I'm like, that's it. That's it. I'm changing. And that was what really helped me push to change my whole platform and how I train people.

Wow. Yeah. And all the stuff we talked about in the beginning, I think, has probably made a huge difference as well, right? Because you probably weren't talking about mindset and all of that and how you're going to become a new person. Like, you have to be ready and embrace her and love on her and think of her as a friend. And I always say, you cannot heal a body you hate. You are not going to make strides and feel better if you're like, God, you're fat. God, you're weak. God, you're slow. Like, if you keep talking like that, that is what you will stay. And so I just think what you're doing, what you've created, is brilliant because that is what's needed. That truly is.

Yeah, well, it was born out of a need. I needed help like this and there wasn't anything. And I'm like, I'm going on this journey and I'm going to document everything and I'm going to create it. And I think that's how the best things are made, out of need.

Yes, exactly. So you're definitely a bomb mom. That's so cool. I love it. So if they go to busytobombfitmom.com, is that where they go? Yeah. Hey, I said it.

I know you did it so good. Or Melissa Vogelfitness. Melissa Vogelfitness. That will link you to everything too, and you always find me there. My Instagram, I'm always posting and sharing and showing the truth. The hard truth.

Yeah, I love it. I think the quicker that women can just start embracing the truth, be their authentic self, say who they want to be, and then stop living in the fear and just go for it, that is going to give you the life that you truly love, and you're going to stop living in mediocrity and misery, right?

Yeah, we deserve better. We deserve better. We were born and put on this planet to live our best lives ever. And it breaks my heart every time I see people just suffering in silence, settling, you know, just living for their kids or their husband or their job, their career.

And then that stuff goes bye-bye and they're left with nothing except this broken shell of who Whoever they are.

Like, absolutely.

About that, ladies.

Yeah, it's sad. And, and I don't— I saw my mom go through it, you know, and that was a fuel to my fire. I was like, I do not want that. And I don't want to keep that generational, like, thought process going. I want my kids to see that I am a boss and I can take charge. And I also can be loving and a partner and feminine. You know, I can live in both worlds that it's, it's that balance. That's what I strive to teach my kids and everyone else.

I love that. Well, thank you so much for being on here. I hope everybody joins your boot camp. We need to shake things up. We need to get uncomfortable.

Yes.

Try new things. It is so worth it. It really is. So thank you.

Oh, thank you for having me on. This was incredible.

Awesome. Hopefully we'll have you back again.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

Awesome. I hope you love Melissa as much as I do. She is just a ball of energy, and the way we think is so aligned. I just love everything she's doing and creating. She has her tribe of women and she's lifting them up. That is absolutely what I believe in and what I do with my ladies. Hopefully, you're in one of my groups. If not, don't hesitate to join us, but also check out Melissa's challenge, her Busy to Bomb Fit Mom 5-Day Boot Camp Challenge. It's totally free. I think I'm going to do it, actually. But what did you get out of this episode today? For me, the golden nugget was if, you know, we all think that We just need to have more information, or we need to get the right program for our body type. All of these things, like, when everything's perfect, then we will take action and make it happen, right? But action creates clarity. So get into massive action. Just start doing something that will give you your clarity. I think that is So important. And it's really not about the specific workout, it's about your mindset and really embracing the idea that you need to become a different person, a better version of yourself, to actually live into those changes. So I hope that you'll embrace this idea and Welcome it and, you know, check it out, because I think we are all here to continue to grow. God gave us a growth mindset. He has big things in our heart that he wants us to work toward. He does not want us to settle and be complacent and stay stuck. That's not why we're here on this journey, my beautiful, amazing Grandma is 96 years old and she's finally getting ready to pass. And I just realized, I had this realization, she is literally twice as old as me. She has lived the equivalent of my life 2 times. That means I very well have a lot more to go. I have a lot of stuff to do. I I cannot even imagine sitting on the couch for another 48 years and not doing things with my life and creating the life that I envision and having the body and the health that I want and the relationships and everything else. So we are not too old. We are just getting started. I want you to embrace all of this and go out and be that kick-ass woman that you want to be. Do all the things you want to do and don't apologize for it. Just step into it and own it, okay?

Yay!

Keep me posted. Send me pictures. Let me know how it's going. All right. Bye, ladies.