In this short interview, Dr. Tabatha Barber (Speaker A) and a patient (Speaker B) discuss the experience of chronic, often misunderstood health conditions and the journey from self‑hatred toward self‑compassion. Speaker A explains how mast cell activation can cause persistent rashes and other symptoms that feel like the body is “failing,” when in fact the immune system is trying to protect the individual. Speaker B shares a personal story of reacting angrily to her own body—biting her fingers, developing an eating disorder, and feeling betrayed by undiagnosed celiac disease, cancer, Crohn’s disease, and later mold exposure. She describes a turning point at age 40, when she began to “re‑parent” the inner child, replace self‑criticism with kindness, and recognize that the body’s fight response was causing further damage. The conversation emphasizes the importance of listening to bodily signals, allowing rest, and consciously re‑programming self‑talk to foster healing and gratitude for a resilient body that has survived multiple serious illnesses.
Chapters
When we're struggling with something like mast cell activation, you know, someone thinks I have a rash that won't go away and none of the medicines are working. They feel like their body is failing them when in reality our body is working super hard to try and keep us safe and healthy, and we're just not hearing or understanding the message that it's sending, right? So I would love for you to talk a little bit more about that because. I get women coming to me and they're just working against their body. They're just so angry at it and frustrated with it. And I'm like, no, this is all really good news. We can use this information. And when the rash starts to go away, that's a good sign that we're making progress, right?
And so when I'd make mistakes and my fingers wouldn't play the right tunes, I would get so angry at my hands and I would literally bite my fingers sometimes till they would almost bleed because I was like so mad at myself for not performing. In hindsight, I'm like, that sweet girl, I wish I could go talk to her because it was just puffiness from this mast cell allergic reaction, undiagnosed celiac, the wrong diet. And I developed an eating disorder for several years because of that hatred towards how my body was betraying me. And it was nothing to do with fat. And I've gone back and done the work around this, and it brings tears right now because my thought right now, and this is for you listening out there, if you have a part of your body that you are so hating, you need to work. And I shouldn't say need, you get the opportunity to reparent that little girl or the girl now that just wants to be loved and to be beautiful to be accepted. You're so strong. And this is when I'm 40 years old, talking to myself with kindness and compassion and gratitude for this incredible body that has taken me through like 9 lives. I should have died many, many times with all of my illnesses, and yet my body is so strong and so beautiful and so capable. And that self-talk around reprogramming how we talk to ourself is so important. But this time I was like, I'm gonna put my feet up and take this as an opportunity just to rest and it'll go down. And gosh, this is pretty ugly, but it's okay. My body's just trying. And I have a different program around that now. And I think it's so important that we talk about that because the last story, I was— got over cancer, got over Crohn's disease, living my life, started getting mold exposure and got really, really sick again in my late 30s. It's a vicious cycle where your own body is fighting and fighting so hard that it's causing internal damage and illness and potentially death. The day I realized that fight, that whole program around fight was not serving me and was probably going to kill me, I changed it.
