Episode 35: Stop Your Chronic Pain Cycle, with Ashleigh Di Lello

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Season.

I can't wait to see you in there. Hi, I'm Dr. Tabitha, the functional gynecologist.

I'm a board-certified OB-GYN and functional medicine physician. I've embraced the world of functional medicine and wellness through my own personal health journey, and I'm super excited to share my wisdom and unique perspective as it pertains to women's health. So if you're struggling with hormone imbalance, weight gain, period issues, anxiety, and Insomnia, you name it, then you've come to the right place. I want to be your functional gynecologist. So welcome.

Hi friends.

Today's episode is going to be transformative if you let it. It's all about the thought patterns that get created in your mind when you experience trauma or anxiety, chronic pain. I have connected with someone who has figured out the science behind those patterns and has created a program to break through and heal from those Broken loops. So she helps you calm your body and emotions. You figure out how to take control of your thoughts and get out of survival mode. Her name is Ashley DiLello, and she's a professional dancer, wellness coach, speaker, elite fitness trainer known for her appearances on TV shows like So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars, and The Ellen DeGeneres Show. That's pretty awesome. Hey. At 13, Ashley was suddenly faced with a life-threatening illness and was told she wouldn't survive past her teenage years. During her 20-year journey of battling chronic pain and illness, Ashley discovered that in order to fully heal the body, you also have to treat the brain. This led her to develop the bio-emotional healing. It's a process based in neuroscience that helps her clients Reprogram the hardwired thoughts and the body's emotional conditioning. Against all odds, Ashley persevered and overcame the impossible, and her mission in life is to help others do the same. She's the creator of multiple courses and coaching programs, including the Food Freedom Revolution, the New Thin, the Body Freedom Revolution, Turning Pain into Purpose. Her programs are helping her clients finally heal their relationship with themselves and their bodies. Find their food freedom, freedom from chronic pain, and thrive in their lives. So I don't want you to miss this episode today because her story is really remarkable. It's so inspiring. The first time I heard her story and met her, I was so inspired to share with all of you because it really can transform your life and Set you free. So I want you to stay tuned for the whole episode and listen as Ashley explains how you can break free from your emotional trauma, your physical pain, your self-doubt. You're also gonna get a free mind-body blueprint on her website to go through and get started. I'll have that link in my show notes so you can check that out. All right, here we go.

Well, welcome, Ashley. Thanks for being on the Functional Gynecologist Podcast.

Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor.

Thanks. I'm super excited to talk to you today because I saw you speak at Live It to Lead It last year, the amazing conference in California, and you were so— you took my breath away. I mean, I, I was I was feeling your pain, and I was just so inspired by your story and the hurdles that you overcame and how you went on to pay it forward, and you're helping other women, and that is just incredible to me. That's amazing.

So will you share with my listeners your amazing story of perseverance and purpose and explain how you became the bio-emotional healing expert that you are today?

Yeah. So it's been quite a journey that started at the age of 13. So I was a dancer at a young age, about started 5 hours a day when I was 7 years old. It was just the love of my life. Um, and I went from dancing 5 hours a day to waking up overnight at the age of 13 and hardly being able to move and pain in every joint and muscle. And this progressed through eventually me not being able to even stand on my own, have the energy to lift a finger some days, or even speak. I used to tell my mother, it's taking too much energy just to lie still. It would hurt just to have that energy to do nothing. And that was the beginning of a 4-and-a-half-year battle of fighting for my life. During that time, which was 24 years ago now, medicine was not even near where it is now, especially understanding with the immune system and functional medicine and all of that was very voodoo back in that timeframe.

Right.

So after about 2 years of exhausting everything medically, I was essentially sent home to die from some of the top pediatric hospitals in the country. I had every scan, blood test known to man. They knew I had some rare viral infection. My body was shutting down. I was yellow from my liver shutting down. My hair had fallen out. They just said, we don't know. We don't know. You're going to make medical history books. You know, and I was sent home.

Hmm.

And I remember walking out. And my mom, you know, looking at me and saying, we don't accept this. And, you know, that took us on a search of going into functional homeopathic alternative medicine. And I came from a medical background in my family. So that was like a huge break. Again, you have to think 24 years ago was a very different scenario.

Yeah.

Long story short, that's what saved my life. Essentially, I was in the fight against this rare virus with my immune system and the power of food, but also the power of your mind. I remember just instinctively understanding that, not in the way that I do now in terms of neuroscience and all the studies they now have, but there was a timeframe that I was so sick, I was afraid if I fell asleep.

Oh, wow.

I wouldn't wake up because my body was so close to just being done, to shutting down.

Wow.

And I remember willing myself through the night to not fall asleep and not surrender that control to my body because I felt like my willpower, my will to live alone was keeping me breathing, was keeping my body fighting. And that was really the beginning of me understanding this incredible mind-body connection.

Mm-hmm.

And how our body listens to everything we think and say and hear and act. And that— I was so blessed to overcome that. And after 4 and a half years, but battled a lot of things for 13 to 15 years, but I was able to go back to dance and have an amazing professional career. My husband and I were on So You Think You Can Dance and performers on Dancing with the Stars. We headlined a Broadway show. We were able to perform in over 45 countries all over the world. And then 4 years ago, I had my second hip surgery.

Hmm.

And it completely failed. And as soon as I started to try to walk, it launched my whole body into chronic pain and dysfunction, and it just spread. And suddenly I was struggling to walk. I was struggling to hold a book or play with my daughter. And it felt very different, but also very déjà vu to what I had experienced. My body just felt like it was in this fight for its life. And every week waking up with new pain, new symptoms, new health problems. And again, after trying everything under the sun and not getting answers, and just that same story of I'm super unique.

Mm-hmm.

I was told the story that my, you know, my nervous system flipped a switch in my surgery, and now I was just stuck with this nervous system that produced pain all the time. You know, diagnosed with things like fibromyalgia, told I was a chronic pain patient now, that, you know, it was only downhill from here. Those words were literally uttered to me. Oh my gosh. And I again thought, I don't accept these limits on my body. And I even told the doctor, you know, this isn't my first rodeo. I am not just going to walk out of here and give up on my body and myself. I started really looking into pain science this time around since I was in this horrific chronic pain and studying the brain and that connection with pain and what happens to the body when it's living in fight or flight and that survival mode. And that led me to understanding this incredibly intimate connection with the mind and body that can both Hurt us, keep us prisoner without us realizing.

Yes.

Or set us free, right? And that's when I really started to delve into it and created this process called Bio-Emotional Healing that really utilizes the healing, empowering aspects of the brain and our mind-body connection to help us heal Whether that's with chronic pain or illness, or if you suffer with chronic anxiety or overwhelm, stress all the time, insecurity, you know, where we find so many people are also struggling today physically or mentally and emotionally.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Well, I get goosebumps hearing the story all over again. Like, it's just so incredible that at such a young age, you Weren't willing to accept that as your fate, and you knew that you had a bigger purpose and you were gonna, you know, figure it out and get through it. And then to be hit again, you know, like, what, what's God trying to teach you now, right? But you found your path.

Yeah.

You found your path, and now you're helping other women, and that's just so beautiful. So I'm sure that feels super rewarding. Not that anybody should ever go through that to get to—

right?

I don't wish that on you, but what you've created out of it is really remarkable. So bravo to you. So yeah.

Thank you.

Yes. So I want to talk about this because you are so right that the mind-body connection can destroy you or it can heal you, right? And I love that you have the science to back it up. Because people still think in this day and age that it's woo-woo, like you said, you know, and it's really not, you know. I mean, we, we acknowledge it when people are kids, like, you know, you have a tummy ache, oh, you're just nervous, oh, you just don't want to go to school. Yeah, that's the mind-body connection, right? You know. But then as grown-ups, we're like, oh, that possibly couldn't be the case. So I think that it's super important for us to acknowledge that connection and try to learn about it, especially as physicians, right? So I love— because I want more tools in my toolbox. I have chronic pain patients. I have patients who have lost hope and they're ready to give up, and I need ways to help heal them. So you work one-on-one with your clients, right?

What's the most common reason people are coming and I would say on the health aspect, it's chronic pain.

Okay.

On the other side, I would say it's anxiety. Anxiety and crushing unworthiness and insecurity. And what I found is just that usually by the time they get to me is they've exhausted everything else. And then they're really open to obviously understanding there has to be more than just treating the physical body, which is absolutely necessary, right? And has to be there. This is a mind, body, and soul. You can't just eliminate any of them.

Right.

It has to be cohesive, right? But they've— they haven't been able to address that aspect, or they've really— they've done like talk therapy. Some of them have been into, you know, rehab facilities, but Because these programs aren't really addressing the brain's mechanism and the subconscious mind and how the brain works to keep us safe and protected and how that can be unique to each of us, they're not getting the, the real change that they need.

Okay.

Which is also kind of overwhelming but also incredibly empowering because Through the process, they realize that their greatest tool is actually inside.

Yeah.

Versus always trying to find the answer, the end-all answer outside. And what I'm— what I tell them is, clearly I've had to have surgeries. Clearly I still feed my body with anti-inflammatory foods, and I have to do the rehab, and I have to physically strengthen my body and retrain my muscles to work right. But In order to fully heal the body, you have to also treat the brain.

Yeah. I want you to explain how when we have this chronic pain issue going on for whatever reason, it could be a sports injury, it could be adverse childhood experiences or a virus that afflicted us, how that starts recording in our brain, changing our neurons and our receptors, and how it really gets us into this vicious loop that keeps the pain going. Like, how— talk about that.

Yeah, that's why chronic pain is such a prevalent issue, um, in our society, worse more even than cancer as far as numbers go. So the first part is understanding that our brain cares most about keeping us safe and protecting us, right, ensuring our survival. And Everything else is secondary to the brain, to that. Now, pain is vital to our survival, right? So we're born with pain being wired into our nervous system in order to keep us safe, to tell us, don't touch that hot stove, right? That creates pain. The people who don't feel pain have a short lifespan. So pain is supposed to be this positive thing, right?

Yeah.

But because it's wired in the nervous system already. When we have pain, the, the brain cells that produce pain over time get better at reproducing that pain, right? Neuroplasticity, which is the neuroscience principle that tells us nerve cells that fire together wire together. So the more times your brain and nervous system activates pain pathways in a certain way, the more it gets programmed to do it again. And again and become the most general response to that area of the body. But then what happens is the brain cells that produce that pain, they get— they lose their ability to be specific to that part of the body. So then the pain spreads. And your brain and nervous system get hypervigilant and overprotective to that area, multiple areas of the body, any pain. And in their effort to protect you, they then produce more pain.

Yeah.

And your body gets stuck in this vicious cycle where your brain really thinks it's protecting you because, hey, this is wrong here, this is wrong here, this is wrong here. I'm gonna send pain, send pain. But pain feeds more pain, and we get stuck in this vicious loop because we're coming up against our brain, which is primitive. It's very smart, and it thinks it's doing its greatest job of protecting you, and we get stuck.

Yeah, and then to complicate the issue more, we bring our thoughts into the situation, right? And our bad self-talk in our heads that we just play over and over, and we actually stimulate that. So talk about that a little bit.

Yeah, so then you have that aspect of it because naturally Pain is horrible.

Right.

Pain— I would not wish chronic pain on anyone. Naturally, when you feel pain, you aren't very accepting or positive of it. So then you start linking your pain with certain thought patterns, right? Here it is again. This will never end. What am I supposed to do? When will this— you know, what did I do wrong? That then links to emotions of fear, Anxiety, overwhelm, dread, anger, whatever it may be, those also get recorded in your body, your brain and nervous system, as a response to the pain. So then when we feel pain, focus on the pain, then we feel fear about the pain, the brain then reaffirms that that fear is a threat. And keeps sending more pain, and we get stuck in this cycle. And what I want people to understand is pain patients are often made to feel like it's their fault because people can't figure it out.

Right.

And that is so maddening. And what I want them to understand is this is not about them— it being their fault. It's that living in chronic pain creates then these thought patterns and emotional responses That if we don't address and change and rewire, these thoughts and emotional responses feed and continue to reaffirm the pain process.

Yeah, it's so true. And I, I think it's such an important point that it's not your fault. You didn't think these things on purpose. You're not living in fear on purpose. It's this You know, I think of it just like cortisol. You are stressed out max all the time. You get to a point where your brain says enough and it stops sending signals to your adrenal glands, and then you stop making cortisol and you have this adrenal fatigue, so to speak, when really your body's just trying to protect you, right? Stop making so much cortisol. And it's not that you're choosing to not function properly. It's just— It's the body's response and the protective mechanisms. So I think if we can detach any blame or judgment, because chronic pain patients are made to feel like it's either their fault or that they're crazy. I think I'm—

Right.

I get so many women who are like, my doctor just tells me there's nothing wrong. And, you know, I feel like I'm going crazy. And that just breaks my heart. So I love how you explain that, and I think it's helpful for women to understand that, like, physically their brain creates new neural tissue because of this, right? And it's responding to it. So how do you even go about breaking that vicious cycle?

Yeah, so, and I just want to add to— they've proven This with brain imaging.

Yes.

They have seen alterations in brain structure and functioning as a result of chronic pain, not the creation of the chronic pain. So there's— it's science, right? They've proven this, this happens. So I remember when I first studied this, going to your question, I was really upset. In fact, I was like pretty mad because I thought Oh my gosh, like not only do I have chronic pain, but now my brain and nervous system are wired for chronic pain. And it is not as simple as the right surgical procedure, PT, nutrition supplement. I have to rewire this.

Mm-hmm.

And at first that was overwhelming and made me just like upset that this too now had happened. But then, like anything, we have a choice, right? And I then felt incredibly empowered in knowing that I had this power to help my body rewire out of the pain cycle. Because with the brain, again, what neuroscience has shown, no matter what is wired can be rewired. And it's not overnight.

Right, right.

It's definitely not overnight. As you know, with functional healing, you're— it's more long-term to actually then really fix it, right, versus masking it. So you have to commit. So the first step is, of course, even becoming aware of this and understanding that fight-or-flight stress cycle pain is triggering in your body. Meaning, what are the— then when you feel pain, what are the immediate thoughts that you feel? What then are the emotions that come? How does your body react? Do you immediately tense up? Is your heart racing? You know, do you have shallow breathing? Like, this is part of that program, the programmed stress response that has now become conditioned in your brain and your body. So becoming aware of that is Even first key, because I didn't understand the cycle that was happening with the pain. Because when you're in pain, you're just trying to survive the pain, right?

Yes.

And still get through your life and do the best you can. You're not aware of the response cycle it's programming in your body, and that essentially, if you're in chronic pain, you're— you could be living in fight-or-flight All day long, right? And you're not getting a break from that, which also is exhausting. And talk about adrenal fatigue and cortisol. So the first step is really just becoming even aware of the pain, how it has affected your stress cycle in your body. What, again, what is your physical response? And then what is your thoughts and your emotional response? These are all part of the program that your brain has now linked to the pain.

Yeah.

And supports it. And they found that the brain perceives physical threats and emotional threats similarly. So where pain can increase fear, fear alone can increase pain.

Right.

So now we get this thing where you can have a physical response that causes emotions, or you can even just think about the pain, feel fear and anxiety about it, and And your body will— your brain will send pain signals to reaffirm that emotion, right?

Right, right. I think that's an important point because some women feel frustrated that there's nothing on an X-ray or there's nothing they can physically see wrong causing the pain, right? So that's an important point. Like, you get in that cycle and all it takes is just recreating those feelings for that to come back. And that's the chronic pain loop. So how long is your program that most women go through? Like, what's a typical length of time to get through this?

So the one-on-one time with me is 8 weeks.

Okay.

And of course, after that 8 weeks, they have access though to my membership portal material forever. So they can always go back through or revisit the weeks that are very more applicable to them or they're still struggling with. But that 8 weeks really walks them through the process of understanding pain science and also though the emotional and thought process and triggers that are part of their cycle, right? 'Cause it's very individualized based on not just our pain, but our other life experiences, our other— belief systems, the people in our life, the environment, what we link our pain to, that all comes into play when we're trying to heal.

Yeah, for sure.

And so they go through this for 8 weeks and each week we have a one-on-one call. And what's really important is what I figured through this process, especially with working through the brain, you can't hack your brain. It's like I said, it's primitive. It's, It's what's allowing us to breathe and talk without us thinking about it, right? So you can't overcome just something that is keeping us alive, right? You have to work with the brain to make it also be able to let go, to rewire, because it's— once it's stuck in a cycle, the brain likes to stay there because it's biologically hardwired to not change.

Right.

So you have to— what I figured out is there's a recipe to first coax and access really the subconscious mind, the brain nervous system, to understand the program, then make the brain feel safe enough to release it, to then be able to rewire. And so that's why when they go through the program and they get in, they can only access week 1, and then Only week 2. Only week 2. And that because it has to build on itself. And I know we're creatures of curiosity, so we like to jump ahead, and this requires the foundation being set in the right way. But it's amazing what can happen in 8 weeks. They're really ready then to continue forward. And I have intermittent group coaching calls because, like, I, you know, as I know you are, you know, you're invested in their life. Versus just 8 weeks and you're done.

Right.

That's why they have access to the material forever. But it's just really amazing to see the transformations. And it's so empowering for them as well because this is something they always have and understand that no matter what else might come up in their life, their greatest power is within now that they understand. And while they might be on the search for finding the right physical treatments and, and nutrition plans and supplements, they have this power always.

Right.

To utilize. And that brings so much hope because chronic pain patients have tried it all and been left to good luck. You know, this is your life.

Yeah.

And it's incredibly disempowering. So it's amazing to see people feel that they have control again.

Yeah, and that they have those tools for the rest of their lives, like you said, so they don't have to slip back into those patterns. Or if they do, they can hopefully get themselves out of it, right? Or even recognize it in their friends or their family and help others. Oh, that's really cool. So you don't even have to have chronic pain to do this whole mind-body, you know, vicious cycle of dysfunction, right? I mean, this relates to just generalized anxiety and other feelings of fear and overwhelm, right?

Yeah, that's what I, you know, I realized. I'm like, this pain science is the same for just How our brain communicates to our body. And look at our world today with anxiety and depression and feelings of insecurity and overwhelm. And that neuroplasticity is the same. The nerve cells that fire together wire together. So if you think anxious thoughts, the more you think anxious thoughts, the more your brain gets wired to create anxious thoughts. And that now becomes—

A habit.

How your brain's default mode and how it communicates to your body. And that's why people, again, can just think about an anxious situation, not even be there, not even be in the environment with people, but they can have a physical response. They can have an anxiety attack, physical response without any physical threat.

Yes. Yes.

And that is the power of the brain creating an anxiety attack out of protection, again, getting misguided. And so that's when I realized the same process can work for all the other things, you know, people are struggling with that's keeping them stuck.

Wow.

So yeah, it sounds like it's A long journey with a lot of hard work, but it's worth it. So I get a lot of patients who, you know, they have the panic attacks and it happens in a certain situation, and so then they anticipate, right? And they, like you said, have those feelings at just the thought of repeating that scenario. Like, I went on a walk and I got really dizzy and almost passed out, so now I'm afraid to go on a walk without feeling dizzy. feeling dizzy. Like, do you have any just quick tips for my listeners how to even get started on being aware of that and taking control of your thoughts a little bit?

We become very reactive beings, right?

Yes.

Meaning we're not fully conscious of how we're reacting.

Right.

We just react the same ways and they're so familiar to us, they just feel like us, that they're who we are and we don't separate ourselves and really look at how we are reacting, why we are reacting. We just get caught up in responding to the situation.

Yes.

And that's really our subconscious mind that is the database for everything we have ever experienced, everything we have ever thought, seen, heard, touched, our traumas, our fears, our emotions, anxieties. It all gets stored and that creates about 95% of how we think, emotionally respond, and behave. So we are these programs. We are our subconscious programs, and it serves a purpose, but again, can hold us prisoner. So the first step I always tell people to change is even becoming aware of what you're thinking about.

Yes, I love it. Just get mindful, like pay attention. Actually listen to your brain as if it's another person talking to you, right?

Absolutely, absolutely. Because like I said, we just think these thoughts and it happens so fast, you know, it sends and then we immediately start feeling the emotion of anxiety or fear or overwhelm. And then now we're anxious, now we're fearful, now we can't handle life and we're stuck in that fight or flight. But again, it feels familiar to us, so we just This is me. Yes.

I have them.

I can't change. And so you have to understand, like I was telling a client the other day, thoughts are just thoughts. It's us that give them the power. So you have to understand the brain is wired for negativity first, again for those survival reasons. So we're never going to be able to completely eliminate negative thoughts. But we do have the power to become aware that thoughts aren't us. They are thoughts, but we can choose to take ownership of them.

Yes.

Or instead be aware of them, decide that that's not what we want to create, and choose other ones instead.

Mm-hmm.

Now obviously there is a process that I go in depth with to really unroot The belief systems and what's keeping the subconscious mind stuck. But that is the first step, is just being aware. I tell people, even, you know, women especially, pay attention to what you say to yourself while you get ready in the morning.

Oh, it's so true.

You know, and they're like, wow, I didn't realize that I just said 50 negative things, right, about my body. Or if you're in pain or you have health issues, How many times have I reiterated, this will never get better, my body doesn't heal, my body is damaged or broken? Like, if thoughts— I always tell my clients, if thoughts shape our life experiences, is what you're thinking right now what you want to become true for you?

Right, exactly.

And if we can just separate that way and go, no.

Yeah.

So what do I want to become true for me? And start taking conscious control of what we just allow to run through our own mind every single day.

Yeah. And a body that you hate will never heal, right? Because it just feels the hate. And so, yeah, I remember the first time I did meditating and it was with Joseph Goldstein. I did some mindful meditations And he was like, you know, you think about your mother, but that thought is just a thought. It's not actually your mother. Just let it go. And I thought, that's genius. Like, honestly, it's just a thought. There's no truth to it necessarily. It's probably a lie, and it doesn't have any meaning unless we react and assign meaning to it. So I think you're right on. That's the best place to start is just getting control of those thoughts, getting out of survival mode like you said, and that's when true healing can begin.

So— And I actually have— if they go to— you can get it from my website, ashleyvilello.com, or I have freemindbodyblueprint.com, which is my ACT, A-C-T, Which is a portion, a small part of my bio-emotional healing I spoke about in the conference that helps them get out of that survival mode.

Okay.

Get out of the stress and take control of their thoughts and their emotions. And it's just a 3-step process that helps them to get out of that reactive and into being consciously controlled to progress forward instead of Surviving, because we don't want to survive, right? We want to thrive. But how do we do that? And living in stress is only living in survival. So that ACT, A-C-T, which is again a free download, can walk them through how to do that in 3 simple steps each day.

Awesome. I will definitely have the link for that in my show notes for the Mind Body Blueprint. That's That's so cool. That is wonderful. And you—

I know everybody's not able to or in the place, because you have to be ready as well to do the deeper healing. And it can be so overwhelming of reading all this stuff about the brain and the body, and that in and of itself can cause people to go into stress, right? Or, yeah, I'm gonna handle my anxiety, but I'm feeling even more anxious. I'm struggling with my health, but now I'm feeling even more overwhelmed. And so this is a 3-step simple process that breaks it down.

That's awesome.

And how we can start just retraining that reactive response each day.

That's wonderful because, yeah, like you said, like when you first realized all of this, you were angry, right? Like, oh my gosh, and now I have all this other work to do. I went through the same same thing when I first found functional medicine trying to heal my back. Like, I felt robbed that all of this information was out there and I didn't know anything about it, and I had suffered for so long. And so you kind of go through this grieving process before you are ready to take it on and do the work and get through it. So I— you're right, you got to be ready, but it Anybody can do it. I mean, you have been on the brink and you've come back. So, and you were a child nonetheless, you know, for your brain to know that there was more out there for you. So I want people to regain their hope because I just— so many people are feeling hopeless, you know. And so I would love for them to check you out. I think you're amazing. And they should listen to your new podcast that you're coming out with, Body Freedom Radio. Right? Because you're probably going to get into all kinds of this stuff.

Absolutely. And that's why it's called Body Freedom.

Yeah.

Because we live in these bodies, and whether you feel a prisoner from physical health, mental health, emotional health, traumas, whatever it may be, it all involves our body. And so we're— this podcast is all about healing that with the mind-body connection, and we're going to address all different aspects. And of course, I'll be sharing my story throughout and what I've learned, but I'm excited for it.

Yeah, I think that's gonna take it to a whole nother level. You're gonna reach so many people because I think there's a lot of people that need this. I think we have just become so overwhelmed in our society. We got too much on our plates. I mean, just this COVID situation, the majority of my patients have felt Overwhelmed, super fearful, and their anxiety's through the roof. They're not sleeping. Everybody's gaining weight. It's like we need to get control of ourselves personally, because who knows what, you know, the governments and everybody else are doing. Like, we just have to be able to control our response to these situations and figure out how to handle this stuff, right?

Yeah, this is obviously— this year is triggering for every single human being. So if it's anxiety, that's increased. If it's physical pain, that's increased. Whatever it is, people need healing more than ever. And our greatest control is our internal environment.

Yeah.

And if we can take control of that, how we see our external environment changes.

Mm-hmm.

Because it's that perception that is really what matters, not, not the facts of what is. It's how we perceive it in our life.

Yeah.

And if we can take control of that and, and have control of our internal environment, then what happens outside of us, which has been so much this year, and nobody knows, like we were talking, nobody knows. And it's that uncertainty alone that can trigger us all day long. So it's, it's more important than ever and needed for people to be able to heal these things. Because as you know, if, if we're in stress, you can be perfectly healthy and that constant stress is going to cause health problems.

Yeah.

It's just the body cannot live that way for so long. Before. And especially, like, I keep telling people, I mean, you want to strengthen your immune system more than ever right now, but also you can't be in this mental exhaustion. That's going to deplete your immune system no matter what you're putting into your physical body.

It's so true.

It's definitely needed more than ever because there's just universal stress like we haven't felt in our Lifetime in this way. And especially with social media connecting us to the whole world, we can feel stress much more acutely than people even could during World War II because you didn't have everything at your fingertips of tracking every single thing.

Right.

You didn't have 50 news stations, you know, 20 social media outlets, all of this input from every direction. That's so true. And, you know, if people understand quantum physics at all, like, that is so much energy. And if it's all negative all at once, like, that is transformative in a really bad way. So we really do need to put the brakes on that.

Yeah, because all we— at the end of the day, right, all we can control is our own. Yeah, even, even our loved ones' family members. You know, my 6-year-old has come to bite me because she's heard me speak so much about the brain. Even when I'm trying to tell her something now, she's like, Mom, you're not in my brain. I'm like, dang it! She understands, you know? But I want her to know, like, that's really at the end of the day all each of us can control. control is our own self.

Yeah, that's awesome.

But yeah, my 6-year-old understands it too much now to where he's using it against me.

Right, right. Oh, but that means you're doing a good job, right? It really does.

We're all trying. Parenthood is a constant, uh, learning.

Yeah, yeah, that's a whole nother episode. Good Lord.

Yes.

Well, I'm so thankful that you shared all of this with my listeners because I just feel like it's every patient that I talk to, like every woman I know could benefit from getting out of survival mode, getting control of their thoughts and their reactions, right? I think we all need to do some of that self-work.

So Well, and I want them to know I get it. Like, I get you're exhausted in every way. I mean, it depletes you spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally. You can't even describe, right?

Mm-hmm.

And you do feel like all you can do is survive. But I want them to know that these advancements in neuroscience have given us more hope than ever before and more understanding. And that, like I said, one of their greatest powers to heal is inside them. And they just, it's just understanding and being put in the right process to be able to make it happen. But I do want them to feel more hope than ever before.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah.

That just reminded me of a book by Jean Houston. Have you read The Wizard of Us?

No, but I've heard of it.

Yes, she's an amazing woman, and that this all reminds me very much of what she teaches. So that's a good book to check out. But I want everybody to check you out because you're amazing, and I can't wait to listen to the Body Freedom Radio. And I will have all the links in my show notes for everybody because they need to check you out.

So Thank you so much, and thank you for the work, you know, you're doing with women's health because it seems more prevalent than ever as well.

Yep, we just gotta keep on trying, right?

Yes, and all do our part, which is what I love about this space of everybody just trying to help other people, you know, help and live life more fully.

Yes, perfect. All right, well, thank you so much, Ashley.

Thank you for having me.

Bye.

Oh my gosh, how awesome is she? Ashley has an amazing heart, and I love how she took her pain and found her purpose, and she's using it to help other women everywhere. That's just so beautiful and so empowering. I love it. If you're struggling at all, you should definitely connect with her. I'm gonna have the links in my show notes. She does a free call. You can get on and talk to her and see if that's a good fit to work with her through her 8-week program. And like she said, there's also the free Mind Body Blueprint that you can download in 3 easy steps, like start to get control of your thoughts and get out of survival mode. So So powerful. I love it. So thank you so much for hanging out with me again today. I'm super thankful that you spend your time with me, and I hope I'm serving you. Shout me out your questions because I want to know what you want to hear. Like, right now I'm just guessing, you know, going by what I see from my patients all day, but I know that there's more of you out there that might be dealing with other issues. So don't be afraid to shoot me your questions on Facebook or Instagram at Dr. Tabatha, D-R-T-A-B-A-T-H-A. And I would love to shout you out on the podcast and send you a free gift. So please connect. And don't forget, you got to take one little nugget from this episode, something that you are going to change in your life to start to reclaim your health. One little piece of information— maybe you're gonna start listening to your thoughts. Maybe you're gonna start saying nice things to yourself when you're getting ready in the morning. No more negative judgment on your looks or your body or how your pain is or your anxiety. Like, start loving yourself, treating yourself like a beautiful child who needs to be loved. So I want you to take one little thing away from this episode, add it to the other episodes, so that a year from now you can be the amazing woman you're meant to be. All right, now go out and have a kick-ass week. I will see you next time. Bye, friends!

Bye!