From Panic Attacks to Peace…How She Healed Her Hormones, Gut & Faith

It's really important for women to understand that sometimes we're just stuck in this world and that's all we know. And so we don't even know there are other solutions or options to feel better. I know for me as an OB gyn, I didn't know there was wellness. Like, never even crossed my mind to be healthy because all I saw was disease and managing disease.

Foreign.

So excited for you to be on the podcast this week. I just. I love you to death and you have such an important message to share. So thank you for being here.

Thank you so much for inviting me. I'm super excited for our time together. So looking forward to it. Yeah.

This conversation is really necessary because even though you're special and amazing and I love you so much, you have a really common story. Story when it comes to women in their 30s and 40s. And what I see in my medical practice, I have women coming to me saying, I think I have a thyroid issue. I might have some adrenal issues and gut issues. I'm not really sure what's going on, but conventional medicine just hasn't been able to help me. And you are a nurse, right? Like, you come from that conventional world. So I would love for you to just kind of start us out by telling us what led you to finding me and why you were seeking out alternative care in the first place.

So I have a long history in the healthcare system, like you said. I grew up in a medical family. My mom, my stepdad was. It was just all around me. So working in that environment, living in that environment, conventional medicine was always just a normal part of everyday life.

So.

So I worked in the ER for a long time. And of course, that's always. You're always on long hours, you don't know what's coming in the door, stressful situations. And I, generally speaking, was a healthy person. And I just got to the point where I felt I was burned out and I had had injuries in the past, and, you know, physician who wants told me, like, you need to figure out something different. You're too young to have these problems, like spinal issues, neck problems, lower back problems. I didn't listen to her, number one. And I looked at her and I was thinking, I don't know what else to do. Like, this is all I know. And so I just continued doing the same thing. And even though it wasn't working and it was hurting me, and I finally got to the point where I was just exhausted, I stepped back from conventional nursing and conventional medicine because I just was Exhausted, Exhausted. I was beginning to have like anxiety and panic attacks and I'd never experienced that before. And my exhaustion and my fatigue was so profound that I couldn't get through the day without like feeling like I needed a nap. I would sleep a full night and I would wake up and two hours later I would be exhausted and I just didn't know what to do. And in the meantime, I was having palpitations, I was having night sweatshirts, I was having, you know, just all sorts of other symptoms that I didn't realize at the time were most likely like perimenopause hormone type related things. I didn't ever talk to anyone about those types of things. Like my mom wasn't someone who shared that journey when she was going through it. So I didn't know what was happening. And on top of that, probably in my mid to late 30s when those things started, started and I was not even. That was not on my radar at all. I thought there's no way. I had kind of gotten into the, I guess, functional medicine space. I'm not even sure how. I just started seeing things online and I was always sort of interested in health and wellness and fitness. But as I started looking into that, I was like, this is interesting. I like it. And I didn't want to be on a bunch of meds and all the things, so I started looking down some of those areas. And having grown up in West Michigan, I think we know some of the same people. So you started showing up on like my Instagram feed and that sort of thing. And I was like, this is interesting. And I kind of started following you. And finally I got to the point where I was so fed up, I was like, I'm not sleeping. Like, night sweats were so intense. Waking up drenched, thinking like, I need to change the sheets now and then, you know, feeling so awful, so I need to do something. So I reached out to your team and started working with you and here we are.

Yeah, I remember the first thing I thought when I saw you was, you're way too young to be in menopause. What is happening? What was going on? Your sex hormones were non existent and you were feeling all of that. And I think that it's really important for women to hear that because you weren't 50 years old. How old were you at that point?

30? I think I was 43 or 44.

Yeah, so you were young. And I would venture to say most conventional doctors wouldn't even check those hormone levels. They wouldn't think at all that could be what's happening. So I'm super glad that you found me. And, yes, you grew up where I grew up, same area, which is kind of cool, because now you live way in Las Vegas in the blazing heat. I'm so jealous. Right. But it's really important for women to understand that sometimes we're just stuck in this world, and that's all we know. And so we don't even know there are other solutions or options to feel better. I knew. I know for me, as an OB gyn, I didn't know there was wellness. Like, never even crossed my mind to be healthy, because all I saw saw was disease and managing disease and especially being an ER nurse. I'm sure that's all you saw. So what would you say was the biggest game changer for you when we started working together? Was it getting your hormones balanced, your thyroid, or was it really everything? And you feel like it had to be that comprehensive approach to feel better?

I think for me, the big thing was getting my hormones back in balance because they were so tanked out. I was just running on empty on all levels. That was huge. But then also, the lifestyle piece was huge for me. The dietary changes. I remember when I first met with Morgan and her saying, okay, we need to do, like, doing the food sensitivity and the gut tests and all of the things, taking out some of the foods. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, I can't do this. There's no way. I. I can't stop gluten. And at the time, like, I had to take eggs from my diet. Like, I was that person. I was eating eggs every day for breakfast and, you know, toast and eggs, and I thought it was great. And, like, there it was, no toast, no eggs. I'm like, what am I gonna eat? And I was freaked out. But I think making those changes and recognizing the American diet is so inflammatory to gut and just how detrimental that is and just healing the gut, how much of a difference that makes on a person's overall health, not just physically, but even mentally and how you see things. So I think that was huge. So for me, it was. It was very comprehensive, putting all the pieces together rather than just one thing over the other.

I would love to point out to everybody listening the fact that you were so young when you were going into this menopausal state state because you had gone through burnout, you had, like, had severe adrenal fatigue. You burnt yourself out with your lifestyle. And that's important to realize because we want to always be thinking, what is the root cause of this. You know, if you're 51 and you're going into menopause, it's because that's a normal process that your ovaries go through at that point in your life. But if you're 44, like, something is driving that. And so we got you a quick win. We got you some sex hormones back so that you could function and feel good and start to tackle your diet and all the things. But then we had to go on and really tackle this burnout that had happened, this adrenal fatigue, and that took a lot longer. But I want to encourage women listening to realize, like, you can turn it around, you can get there, but you didn't get there overnight.

So.

So it's not gonna be reversed overnight. Right? I would love for you to talk about that a little bit.

Yeah. Like, I always lived in that fast paced, high adrenaline. You know, that was my job. But then also in, like in my life, that was just. It sort of carried over. And there was always this sense that I had to be on and performing and all the things to all the people. And I have always struggled with trying to be a people pleaser and wanting to keep everyone happy and wanting to do all the things. I mean, obviously that played into my burnout much quicker. First of all, I can't be all the things to all the people because that's not how God created us with that intention. Like, I don't have to be all the things to all the people. I just have to be what he has called me to be. So I've been learning in recent months, in the last couple of years that the most important thing for me is to focus on him and like, his plan, his purpose. And I like to I've heard it said, I serve an audience of one. And that's really been a big thing for me to change my mindset, to focus on that, what I do and whatever my intentions are, he's the only one that I need to to focus on. I don't need to be all the things to all the people. I just need to take care of myself and be obedient to him.

Oh, yeah, you are speaking to some women right now. Because by and large, we are trained to be people pleasers. We're trained to take care of everyone else. Especially if you are a nurse or a doctor or a provider in the health care field, then it's like extra ingrained into you. You know, don't go to the bathroom, don't eat your. L keep taking care of your patients. But you're right. That's not what God wants for us. That is the quickest road to burnout possible. When we see this with women going through our coaching academy, you want to ask, like, where is that coming from? Even way before becoming a nurse? Oftentimes it is coming from childhood. Probably 99% of the time as a child, you felt the need to. To either perform or take care of someone or just show up in a way that made you feel like you had value or you could give or you were trying to hold relationships together. You know, we're doing things beyond what we should be doing as a child because of the dysfunction that we're living in or the. The traumas that we're experiencing. And maybe they're not even traumas with a big T. Maybe it's just daily dysfunction or misunderstanding or going through the stuff that we go through as women. For you, I remember you started to unpack this after you were feeling better and getting your energy back, and. And you were ready to tackle, like, why am I a people pleaser? Why am I struggling with all of this? So if you're cool with it, I would love to share some. Some of that with the listeners, because I know there's women that are going through these same issues, and they're just like, I can't get beyond it. Why am I stuck feeling this certain way?

Yeah. So my story, I guess, goes way back, but I didn't realize some of the issues or trauma. Like, even as I say that word, it feels like not the right thing to say, because, like you said, it's not necessarily a big T trauma, but.

Nonetheless, I would also say the caveat that we don't want to blame our parents or our families for anything that we are dealing with. And I went through this when I wrote my autobiography. I fictionalized it because I didn't want to hurt people. But the truth is, we're all broken people who need God, and we're all doing our best as moms, as dads, as aunts, uncles, whoever. But the stuff that we're dealing with does seep out and affect especially the children in our lives and the people around us. And so I want you to be able to freely share the fact that, you know, your mom wasn't perfect, your dad wasn't perfect, and none of ours are. And we just have to be okay with saying, you know what, I went through some stuff. I'm not blaming them, but this is the result of it, and this is how I turned out. Because of it.

Right, right, yeah. You know, they were doing the best they could. And to your point, I don't blame them. When I was very little, my parents divorced and it was a messy and ugly thing that lasted for years. There was a lot of, you know, situations where it was, it wasn't one of those amicable, let's try and co parent in the best we can for the kids type sake. It was very difficult. And as a result, I felt a lot of chaos and uncertainty and unstability as a little kid. And I did not know how to handle that. Of course, as a child, that's something that you are learned, that you're taught and that we would normally need to learn from our parents guiding us through it. Well, my parents were not equipped to guide me through it because they were dealing with their own things at the time. And so I was just trying to do the best that I could. And as a result, I really went into survival mode at a young age, just trying to maintain any kind of sense of normalcy for myself, myself, even though I was going back and forth all the time between mom's house, dad's house, what's going on, all the changes, without really knowing how to navigate it at all, and just doing the best I could. That just led me into a really long term survival mode of being on high alert all the time, always thinking that I needed to take everything on if I wanted something to be done and something, something for me to be able to depend on, that I needed to do it myself. Because having gone through that divorce at a young age, I didn't feel, you know, like the people in your world at that age are supposed to be protective and guiding. I felt like all of a sudden my world was shattered and I didn't have that anymore. And so when you feel like the people that you're supposed to be able to depend on the most are no longer there and in a way your world is shattering because of that. It just like totally implodes everything and you don't have any sense of stability or being able to trust anyone, you know, moving forward. And I think that that really started for me then. And so as a result, I really struggled with being able to really depend on anyone else. And so I became like hyper independent and hypervigilant of everything around me and thinking that I can just power through. That's kind of what I did for like the next 35 years of life until things fell apart. And in that time, in that 35 years, like there was unhealthy lifestyles. There was, you know, the sense of the people pleasing. And I think that that led me into the career that it did. Like, I can take care of someone all the time in that high intensity situation. You know, it's chaotic situation. The ER is a chaotic place. And that I think just carried out as like, yeah, I can do chaos. Like, I know chaos. That's my life. I just continued in that. And it didn't, you know, it seemed good at the time. Like it was, it was fun, it was exciting, it was, you know, you work really hard. But then also on the flip side of that is I got into this. You work hard, you play hard. And a lot of unhealthy coping skills, a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms came about and I fell into those things. Those things are much easier, easier to utilize rather than to. Let's address the feelings of why this is happening. Let's figure out why I'm feeling this way. I mean, that's way more uncomfortable to try and figure those things out than to just have another drink. That led me into a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and into a lifestyle that especially looking back, was unhealthy. You know, things that I'm not proud of, but I'm thankful that God brought me through those. And now I am learning how to feel the feelings and deal with the emotions and figure out why I have made some of the decisions I've made or made some of the choices or, you know, leaned into some of the coping mechanisms that I have through the years. And it's. A lot of it is from those childhood hurts that I never addressed, that I didn't know how to address because I was indeed a child and I didn't have someone helping me navigate that journey at the time. And so now I have to like, go back to that little girl and lead her through as an adult.

So, yeah, and that's so powerful. Oh my gosh, you hit on so many important points. Okay, for anybody listening, I would highly recommend doing the ACE test, that stands for Adverse Childhood Experiences. And it just scores your big T's and little T traumas and tells you kind of how much trauma you've had in your life. Because here's what I hear all the time is like, well, it was just a divorce. Everybody gets divorced. You're just a child. That was your whole world. That was your whole safety net, your bubble, your security of what you knew, knew to be true for your life, and it was taken from you. So it is actually a Big deal. And I didn't understand that for a long time because I didn't come from divorced parents. But when I divorced my first husband, it really affected my oldest daughter for over a decade. And it took a lot of studying and listening to people to really understand how profound that impact was. And so if you're listening to this, do this ACE test and see what your score is, because even a score of 4, 4 or higher increases your risks of developing chronic health conditions. This is why you went into adrenal fatigue, why you went into burnout, why you developed a thyroid disease, why you went into early menopause, why you had all these chronic gut issues, because of what happened in your childhood and how you didn't have the tools to navigate it as no child does. Millions and millions of people on this planet are struggling as adults, and you hit the nail on the head. Like, we need God. We need God to get us through all of this, because we can't figure it out on your own. If we could, we'd all be doing just fine, right? And so for you to come to that realization has been really powerful. And I've loved watching you just step into this new version of Amanda plus Jesus. It's like you're more than. Because you're finally complete. You have that missing piece of, like, oh, Jesus is walking me through this life now. And it's incredible to see the difference of the person I met a few years ago and the person who's sitting here now. It's so powerful. But you can come through the fire on the other side, right?

Yes, you certainly can. I mean, I grew up in a, you know, in a Christian household. I, you know, going to Christian school and going to church and Sunday school and all the things. And so it just was always there. I guess I should say. I knew of God, I knew of Jesus, but it never was super deep and personal to me. I never reached out to him through all of this, my whole life, really, like, to. To guide me or to lead me. I never was looking for his will or his plan. I was always just trying to stumble my way through the next step and whatever that meant. But I never really made it personal. It never really. I never really recognized that I have this need in me for a savior to be forgiven, that I really am this. You know, I'm a sinner, and I just need to repent and have Christ take over. Like, because I made a mess of the. My life on my own. Like, clearly I did not know what I was doing. I did not know what was best for me, even though I thought that you think you do. You're like, well, this is what I want. This is what I need. Like, historically, I can go back through and look at my life and say I screwed it up over and over and over again by the decisions that I made and the coping mechanisms that I use. And only Jesus could come in and fix that mess and, you know, hopefully take that mess and turn it into something that he can use. And so that's where I'm at right now. I'm, like, in that transitional phase of the mess is not that far in the rearview mirror. And I'm just praying that there's, like, some redemptive quality on the other side that he's going to use me for his purposes, whatever that is. And I don't know. I'm just trusting, you know, as I live in his presence and in his obedience, that he will go before me. I just was reading in devotions earlier a couple of days ago, the way he guided the Israelites out of Egypt and into, you know, through the. Through the desert. And he said, my presence will be with you. And that just really hit me because I thought, okay, as long as I'm in God's presence, that's all that matters, and that he will give me a new identity and a new purpose, and he will lead me into a new place as long as I just follow him on this journey. Because that's the only thing that's important, is being in his presence.

Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. It's so powerful. And I'm glad that you brought up the fact that you were raised in the church, because I see two things happen. Either we rebel because the church gave us such a bad taste in our mouth, or we just. We didn't get anything out of it because we weren't taught how to have a relationship with our Creator. It was all about the rules and the religion and showing up and doing your job and trying to prove your worthiness and get God's acceptance by your actions. Like, I grew up Catholic, and so it was very much like you needed to stand and kneel and do this and take communion. And if you didn't go through all the steps, like, God was not happy with you. That was what I was taught. I was confused. I didn't know that God wanted to have an intimate relationship with me, that he wanted to be my Father and take care of me and love me unconditionally and direct me and guide me and all of the things. And once you have that epiphany of like oh my gosh, he really wants to know me and walk with me me and walk before me and lay the path for me and clean up my messes and it doesn't even matter if I made a hundred messes, he happily cleans it up like a perfect parent would. But we don't get that cuz there are no perfect parents on the earth. So I've loved watching you just come to these epiphanies and these knowings of just like, oh my gosh, he really never has forsaken me me. I just left. I tried to go out and do it on my own and figure it out, but he's waiting for me and he's taken me up in his arms yet again and now you're seeing a different future for yourself. So I want you to talk about that. Like what do you really envision and want and desire and what does God want for you? What has he been telling you lately?

So a lot of my devotion, time and time in the word lately just has revolved around a sense of resting in him instead of striving and having to do. Like you said, there were always these expectations of performance. In order to feel like I was lovable or like I was worthy, I had to meet these expectations. And it wasn't just from God. It felt that way from people in my life life as well. Like I always felt a sense of unworthiness, unlovableness, not enoughness if I didn't meet people's expectations or do what they wanted me to do or you know, step into who they thought that I should be or whether it was the family mold. Like this is the role that she plays in the family. Like you have to meet those needs. I've been working through that in recent months, in like the past year, through a lot of reading and a lot of journaling has been huge and also some therapy and that sort of thing. Finally and recognizing that I am worthy and I am enough in Christ and that's who he created me to be. And I can claim that in him. And I'm so thankful for that. But what that means for me is that I don't have to try and please everyone else. I just have to please him and follow in his path. And I think I had said earlier I stepped away from hospital nursing because it wasn't serving me anymore. Through this path of the functional medicine, I've really been certainly piqued my interest. Like this is really great. Like this is how God created us to Be like, he created our bodies and in his image and intricate, amazing ways to be able to heal, to be able to take care of ourselves in so many ways, that if we just take care of our bodies, they will function the way that he intended them to in so many ways. And so just diving into the functional space, diving into the health and wellness and all of that has been super interesting. And I got to the point where I'm like, okay, I have this nursing background. With all these years of experience, how can I make this work in the functional world? I kind of started looking into that and done some dives into that. I started taking a course of functional health for nurses, and that was super interesting, and I learned a lot of great things. And then I was talking with you and Ashley about things, and that was, I think, last summer, shortly before you guys launched the coaching academy. And I had really already been thinking about that and feeling like that might be something that I could get into. It just felt like the next step for me was to do that. So I went ahead and I enrolled in a coaching academy right on the heels of finishing up the Functional Medicine for Nursing course. And it just really seemed to fit seamlessly. And so I'm super excited to jump into that. I just feel like that's my next thing, is that somehow God can use all of the stuff that I've been through and have worked through to help someone else out there. If I can help even one other woman to have the confidence in herself and know that she is enough and know that God created her for his glory. That's what I want to do. So I guess that's kind of my next step is to jump into this. I guess just general coaching with all of my background in nursing and then also the functional space, plus the faith component, and just be able to walk alongside women in their journeys, make a difference that way.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I guarantee that you have already helped one woman at least today, just doing this episode and probably many others, because your message resonates deeply. Just this idea that we're not good enough, that we have to perform, that we have to show up and take care of people. I mean, down to just like, if I don't cook dinner, my husband isn't going to accept me and things like that, or like, I always have to just be taking care of someone. And it's like, no, you. You don't actually. You are worthy just because you exist. And when you were sharing that, I was thinking, you know, it's almost Easter and we Talk so much about Jesus going to the cross, suffering, dying for our sins, being our savior, but how many of us really internalize that as our own? Like, he loves me. He loves me as Amanda. And so I just think, like, we should all. Everybody listening should all watch the passion of the cross, Christ, as a personal invitation. Like, Jesus died for you on that cross, not anybody else. Of course he did. For other people, but for you. And if you can really get that at your cellular core, soul level, like, you will shift because you will feel worthy. And even if you don't feel worthy. We were just talking about this in our. In our group call earlier. It's a gift, and you have to decide to accept it or not. It's hard when you don't feel worthy. You're like, I can't possibly accept this gift from Jesus. I'm not good enough. But he's literally saying, you can't earn it. That is why I did this. That is why I gave my life, because you can't earn it. So just take this gift. And ever since you've stepped into that part of you of just like, I accept that I'm the daughter of a king, that I am loved unconditionally, you really have shifted, not only in your health, but just how you're showing up in life. And now you're starting to believe in yourself, and you're like, wait a second, I can help other women. And it's just beautiful watching your journey. I'm so excited for everything that you're going to do, because now you're unstoppable. You got your energy back.

You're back.

Mitochondria are working. We're getting the hormones balanced, and now you're just unstoppable, right? I hope so.

Yeah. Thank you. Yes. I hope so. Like, definitely been a journey. And the thing that I just have been really living into in recent weeks is that he will use all things for my good and for his glory. I just keep reminding myself of that. Like, even when I get bogged down in the pack past or feeling bad about, you know, I wish I would have done this differently, or I wish I wouldn't. I wish it wouldn't have taken me so long to get to this point. I just keep reminding myself it's okay, all things for my good and for his glory. It's in his timing, his timeline, and it doesn't always make sense. And I don't get it, because I feel like all this time has been wasted. But he's going to redeem all of that. And he's going to be glorified in the end. And that's the thing that is the most important.

Absolutely. And we just can't live in regrets because we don't know always the work that he's doing in us. And I mean, it's easy to look back after the fact and be like, oh, that's what he was doing. But when you're in it, you're just like, this is miserable. I want this to be done. And after the fact, you're like, oh, my gosh, he was just setting me up for this amazing next step. And we just have to trust his timing. So important.

For so long, it was just surviving one day to the next, and there wasn't really the sense of being able to even, you know, have this vision of what the future would be because it was so much focus on just getting through and surviving. And so I'm finally getting on the other side of that of, wow, I really get. Get to think about the future and. And what does that look like? Yeah, I'm super excited to see what he has for me and wanting to step into that and live into my purpose that he has.

Yeah. You're making me think of John 3:16. You know, the enemy came to seek, kill and destroy, but Jesus said, I came to give you life and life to the full. Like, he does want you to have an amazing, beautiful life, not just survive. He's going to meet all of our needs, but he's going to help us thrive and further his kingdom. So thank you for being such an amazing example of exactly what God is calling us to do.

Thank you for the role that you played in it, you and your team and, you know, the whole Fast to Faith program and all of it. I just love it. So thank you.

I mean, I just want to point out how beautiful God is. Like, the way he just lays everything out. Like, I had no idea this coaching academy was. Was coming. It came out of left field. And at the same time, you're coming to visit in Michigan and you're like, let's have breakfast. Let's meet up. I'm thinking about functional medicine and, like, all of these paths are just converging to meet up and do his will. So it's just so powerful, incredible. If you lean in because you were scared, I was scared. We didn't know what we're like, thinking and considering doing, but we just had the conversations and we trusted that God had a plan and we could see it. And I think as long as we keep Acknowledging that, giving him the glory. Like, we trust you, God. You got a plan for us? Oh, we're supposed to be working together. We got you. We get it. It's so cool to see it a year later. Or not even a year later, which is more amazing in itself. It's not even been a year. But yeah, who knows what, what it's going to look like next year at this time, right?

It's exciting.

Oh, good. I love you, girl. Thank you so much for your shining light. I know women are feeling connected to you. Where can they follow you on Instagram?

Renewed Health in Him would. Would be a great spot. And yeah, I'm just getting started. Walk alongside in the journey.

Yes. Give Amanda some love. Follow her, support her so that she can support you. Don't give up. Keep searching for Jesus. He's there. He's waiting. We just have to accept that gift. So thank you, girl.

Thank you. Love you.

Yes. And for everybody listening, I would be so honored if you would just leave a five star review because I know you're getting value out of this and that helps other women recognize the podcast. It tells Apple to, like, share the podcast because we want to lift each other up. This, this is a sisterhood. And join the Fast to Faith app. If you are not in there, it's a free app. There's an incredible sisterhood of women, and lately I've been feeling like we are an army for God. We are an army of warrior women who are fighting to take back control of our lives and our health and our families. I want you in there because it fills you up and it really gives you the perspective that you need and the support that you need to step out in your faith and do what God's calling you to do. So we are here for you. Connect with Amanda, connect with Fast of Faith, and we'll see you next week.