Tabatha 2012 Commencement Speaker

At this time, graduates, I'd like to introduce to you our 2012 high school commencement speaker. Graduates, you probably don't recognize the name in the program, and this is someone you've not seen around school, but this young lady is someone who I think you'll connect with right away. Graduates, you should understand the purpose of a commencement address. A commencement address is our last chance to have you learn something, to inspire you, and we've got to get it right. I think we did tonight. Graduates, I understand that you have a lot on your mind right now. Some of you have anxiety about walking across the stage here in a few minutes. Others of you are worried about how much money you're going to get at your graduation open house and all those things that go with graduating. But, graduates, right now, you need to listen up. The next few minutes of your life may be the most important lesson you'll learn in high school. And that lesson is, you can do anything you want to do. You should walk away thinking, I can do anything that I put my mind to. I know you'll be moved tonight. A few weeks ago, graduates, I had a chance to talk to this young lady about speaking to you tonight. Graduates, I walked away from meeting moved by her story. Graduates, without further ado, I'd like to introduce to you the 2012 Central High School commencement speaker, Dr. Tabitha Barber.

Okay, he didn't tell me. I had to teach you something tonight. That is, like, way too much pressure. Can everybody hear me? Okay? You guys are awesome. Like, I'm so impressed just listening to the superintendent, you know, say all of your accomplishments, and I'm just so impressed, and I'm really honored to be here tonight to talk to you because I feel like you guys have so much to teach other people. But I'll try and share my story, and if you take something away from that, then that'll be awesome, and I'm going to try to keep it together. So essentially, Your awesome principal, Mr. Kundi, asked if I would come speak to you because he heard my story through one of your awesome teachers. So I'll just share it with you. I can see myself sitting there, actually. So a few years ago, like, 15, 20 some years ago, I was a lot like you, except that I didn't have an alternative high school in my town. So that's what's really cool tonight. I grew up in Manistee, Michigan. It's just a little north of here. I didn't have all the resources that your town has, but it was a lot like this. It was a Beach town. It was fun to party and hang out with your friends and just be carefree. My mom and dad were good, hardworking people. They worked seven days a week. They had five kids. They were busy. So it wasn't their priority to give me rules and responsibilities and make sure that they knew where I was. So I was free to come and go as I pleased. From a young age, my family would call me Crabby Tabby. Used to be Tabby, then Crabby Tabby. My mom would get very frustrated because I always was bored. I would whine, I want to do things, I want to move, I want to. I'm just never content. And I always felt like they were disregarding my desires or my wishes, my dreams to do stuff. And she just blew me off as Krabby Tabby. But because of my unlimited freedom, essentially I was just independent. My mom brags and tells stories about how I walked from kindergarten downtown to her store when I was five years old. I'd just show up after school and, you know, that's how I rolled. She didn't think anything of it. As time went on, I had no responsibilities, no thought process authority or giving respect to adults. And it got me into trouble. The thing is, I wasn't a bad kid. I just didn't know any better. But I did get in trouble. I remember one night I was teasing a popular guy about not having a curfew because he had to leave and I could do whatever I wanted. And he said to me, well, at least my parents care about me. And that really hit home to me. It really hurt. I'm going to keep it together. But something inside of me said, you know what? He's wrong. Everybody's wrong. I'm better than this, you know, it's okay. And I just kept on having fun and doing my thing. By middle school, I was living in the principal's office. Mr. Kundy would have hated me. I spent every Saturday and Saturday school, you know, which really ruined parties on Friday night because I would have to wake up at 7am and be at Saturday school till 1pm I tried not to let it bother me. I just did my thing. The first time it really bothered me was in 9th grade. I had flunked 8th grade math because I never shut up. I never quit talking, never did my homework. So every day I had to walk from the high school back to the junior high building and sit with the little 8th graders and retake my math class. That really ticked me off. So essentially I thought, okay, I can do this. All of A sudden, I realized I could pay attention. I realized I wasn't dumb. I started doing the work and I did well. And so I spent my time, instead of flirting with the boys, teaching them their math. And I passed. And I did great. And I realized, you know what? I am good enough. I can do this. People just don't realize it. And I always just told myself not to listen to them. And that's what you guys need to do. If you know in your heart that you can do better, it doesn't matter what even people close to you are saying. They might not really know what you're made of. You just need to show them. So meanwhile, back in high school, I'd have to go back there every day after class, and I would get teased by the popular kids. You know, I was dumb. I flunked math. I was a burnout. I had to be called a slut because I liked boys, all that. I didn't let it bother me too much because I was having fun. But it got to the point where I was going nowhere. I was losing direction. My best friend was out of control. She would do anything. She'd try anything, do anything. Let's, you know, always, we're over the top rock stars. We're doing everything. Luckily, I felt deep inside that I was worth something and that I never went overboard. And so that's what you need to tell yourself is, yeah, it's fine to do those things. It's fun to just be carefree. But you need to know your limits. You need to know when to stop. You need to know when something, when a decision is going to change your life permanently. I never took that next step where I couldn't come back. So always know where your limits are. So I finally made it to 11th grade, and I had a huge crush on one of my teachers. And I thought, I'm going to impress the hell out of him. Oh, I'm sorry, the superintendent's here. I'm going to really impress this guy. I'm going to get all A's in my class. I bet one of my friends and I did it, and I got all A's that semester. And then my life changed over Christmas. I found out I was pregnant, and I was in shock. I did have a boyfriend away in college, you know, two hours away. But what the heck am I going to do? Secretly, I was kind of happy. I thought, okay, that'll get me out of the house. I won't have to listen to my parents. I'll have my freedom and do what I want. Yeah, I didn't think that whole thing through. So I went back to school second semester and I continued to work hard because I realized that I could do something except that my school counselor pulled me out of class and said, hey, I heard you were pregnant, is that true? And I said, yeah. And she said, you should really think about not finishing out the year and you're a bad influence on the girls. I don't want any other girls to get pregnant. I don't want them to see you get pregnant, be showing. And I looked at her and I said, no, why would I start listening to authority now? I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to finish 11th grade and I'm going to get through it. And girls are going to do what they want anyway. Why all of a sudden am I a bad influence? And she was not very happy with that. But I went about my business and that made me more determined to finish with straight A's that year to prove to them that I wasn't a bad influence, that I was a good kid, that something happened to and. And then I could do more. So I did not go back after 11th grade. I had my daughter in September and that was an awesome, life changing experience. But I was lost. I worked at Wendy's. You know, I got married in 11th grade. My husband's off in college and so I'm a high school dropout working at Wendy's. And that was okay for a while until I realized I didn't want to be doing that when I'm 30 or 40. So I figured out how to get my GED. I drove an hour every night in the snow to take classes. To make that happen, I had to actually go back to high school and find one of my teachers that I liked to learn basic math skills because I didn't know how to do fractions and decimals. Even though I had gotten through 11th grade, I had missed so much from elementary school that I had to start at the beginning. But I kept going and I got my GED and I realized, okay, now what am I going to do? I still didn't know. So I figured, I'll go to a community college, I'll try and find my way. And that's what I did. So I could go on for the next 15 years explaining to you what's been happening. But essentially I've been busting my butt, sacrificing and never giving up my dream to prove to everybody that I can do it just as well as anybody else can. And, you know, I survived six years of undergrad, four years of medical school, four years of a grueling surgical residency, and now they call me Dr. Barber. I'm really trying to keep it together. You guys are not helping. Okay, so what I'm trying to get through to you, what I came to learn myself and what I want you to take away from, is that you just believe in yourself. It doesn't matter what other people say about you. If you're not happy with the life that has been laid before, you do whatever it takes to create a different life for yourself. Your path is going to be longer. You're starting out with more difficulties, but you can do it. You have hurdles to jump through, potholes to avoid, whatever. But you can do it, and it builds character. Sorry, I'm getting a little crazy here. Okay. I just want you to know that the struggles that you have gone through and for you to be sitting here today, graduating, makes you such an awesome person. You have the greatest character because of your struggles. Character's not defined by how you do on your greatest days, when you're the homecoming queen and life is perfect. It's by how you handle your worst day. Like the day I had to walk in and pay food stamps to get my kids food and my friend was the cashier. That was devastating to me, but it made me a stronger person because I said, someday I'm going to make so much money. I'm going to pay taxes and pay for someone else's food stamps. I'm going to pay back my college. I'm going to pay back my rent. I'm going to pay back my Pell Grants, and it's all going to be okay. So life is about seeing what you're made of, about accomplishing things you never dreamt possible. And when you're enjoying that good life, just like he was saying, you pay it forward, you. You come back, and you. Instead of walking across the stage, I never got to do. I get to talk to you tonight. So I'm very honored, and I'm very proud of you guys for what you've done, and I hope you keep doing it. And I bought you all keychains and I wrote there's no time for fear on it, because there's no time for fear when you are trying to create your life and conquer the world and do whatever you want. Okay, you got that?