4 Daily Habits to Reduce Stress, Improve Energy, & Sleep Deeper

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You know the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. Your family changes, your friends change, the country you live in changes, your jobs change. He said Everything in your life changes. The way you look changes, what you like changes, what you wear changes. But your breath stays the same and it stays with you. It's always with you.

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And whether you've been feeling challenged, pushed, weakened, strengthened, more empowered, whichever end of that spectrum, you're on, you're alive, you're breathing, you're here. And that makes a difference that is extremely, extremely powerful. It's really fascinating to think about that. I saw a clip recently, and I can't remember exactly who it was, but they were having this conversation about whether money or breathing were more important. So they said, what if you got $10 million tomorrow in your bank account but you didn't wake up? That is, you stopped breathing. Or you can wake up tomorrow and be breathing, but not have $10 million in your bank account. And everyone, of course, said, well, I'd rather be alive than have money in my bank account but not be alive. Which means that our life is more valuable than that amount of money. Our breath is more valuable than that amount of money. When you think about that, you start going, wow, I take this breath for granted every day. How many times have you ever been out of breath? And when you finally catch that breath, you feel, ah, now I feel centered. Or you've been running, you've been playing sport, and finally you're able to take a full, deep breath.

Or maybe you're someone who struggles with.

Asthma or has some sort of breathing challenges. When you feel you can breathe, isn't it just a special feeling when your head's underwater? Right. When your head's underwater and you come up for that breath, how amazing does that breath feel? Well, that's a breath that we can experience every day. And here's the thing. I didn't realize this until very, very late on. I lost my voice during my time as a monk. I had these extremely large polyps in my throat. I was constantly getting sick. I damaged my vocal cords, was losing my voice, and I had to have these polyps lasered from inside of my throat. And then my doctor not only wanted me to practice speaking again, and I had to take vocal classes again. My voice sounded so different when I started talking again. My voice sounded really, really soft, and you couldn't have recognized it was me. Now my voice has gone back to normal, pretty much. And I was also asked to do breath work. And I'd been practicing breathwork as a monk as well. And it was really amazing because I'd been trained in the science of breath work spiritually and emotionally. And now I was being introduced to breathwork scientifically and from a vocal point of view. And today I want to share with you the five daily habits for managing your emotions. And they're all connected to your breath. Now, for those of you who've read Think like a Monk, you know this story, but even if you've heard it before, it's one of those stories that every time I tell it, I get goosebumps. It was my first day of monk school and I was watching around a 10 year old monk teach a group of younger monks their first day of monk school as well. They were probably like 6 years old. And I was watching him and I was thinking, wow, look at that 10 year old teaching. That's incredible. And after the class ended, I went up to him and I said, what was that? And he said, it's their first day of monk school. And he didn't say those words, but you know what I mean? And I said, amazing. What did, what were you teaching them? He said, well, what did you learn on your first day of school? And I said, I think I learned the ABCs, the 1, 2, 3. And he said, well, we teach them how to breathe. And I said, what do you mean teach them how to breathe? Like, what does that mean? Like, why do you teach them how to breathe? And he said, well, you know, the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. Your family changes, your friends change, the country you live in changes, your jobs change. He said, everything in your life changes. The way you look changes, what you like changes, what you wear changes. But your breath stays the same and it stays with you. It's always with you. And he said, when you're happy, what changes your breath. When you're sad, what changes Your breath. Your breath is connected to every emotion in your life. And so if you know how to navigate your breath, you will know how to navigate life. And I started thinking about that, I started thinking about how we use phrases like you, you take my breath away, right? And that's a positive thing.

We say, well, just looking at you.

Takes my breath away. So we're linking the emotion of attraction to breath. But then we always say, let me catch my breath, I need to take a breath. Or when you hear some big news, maybe challenging news, you may say, I just need to breathe. Notice how all of our emotions are so deeply interlinked and interconnected to our breath, but we've never been to a class that teaches us how to breathe. And what was really fascinating for me is that when I started working with the vocal and breath coach, afterwards, she was telling me how athletes learn how to breathe, musicians learn how to breathe, and how each and every single one of us should be treating our bodies like an athlete. And when I heard that, I was completely moved by that idea that we are all athletes because we use our mind, we use our body, we are completely engaged mentally and physically every single day, yet we don't learn how to breathe.

We all deal with emotions every day.

But we don't learn how to breathe. And isn't that fascinating? Isn't that incredible that there is something we do every day, but we've never been trained in how to do it? Now you may say, jay, why do I need to train in how to do it? Because I'm alive. I breathe just fine. Well, what if I told you that this habit would change how you deal with stress? That this one habit could change the quality of your sleep? That this one habit could get you more energy when you need it? I'm sure you'd say, j, I'm in. I'm in. Who doesn't want to sleep deeper? Who doesn't want to manage their stress better? Who doesn't want to be able to calm their nerves, reduce anxiety and fear simply through one habit? Are you ready? Let's do it. So the first type of breathing that I want to introduce you to is not even about breathing. It's called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique. And this technique is something I learned as a monk to increase presence. But today it's used by therapists and coaches and medical professionals. And I recently did this with Gayle King on CBS this morning. And the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique has been created to help you feel grounded in the moment. How many times are you in a space, but you're not internally there. You're there in physical presence, but you're not there in mental, emotional, spiritual presence? So to be somewhere, and I want you to be where you are right now. Here's what I want you to do. What are five things that you can see? Could be the sky. And these are five things that you can see that you can't touch. So it could be the trees, could be the sky, could be the ceiling, could be the wall. Bring your attention to those five things one at a time, And Take in a deep breath, natural breath, and out. Gently close your eyes and lower your gaze. Now, what are the four things you can touch? Maybe your shirt, your trousers, the chair you're sitting on. Notice the difference in the coolness or the warmth, the harshness or the soft. Bring your attention to each one of these, one at a time. Taking a deep breath and naturally out. Now, what are the three things you can hear? Might be the sound of my voice, the sound of your stomach, maybe a conversation in the background or white noise. Allow them in. And take in a deep breath. And out. And what are the two things that you can smell? It could be a scent or a fragrance. Taking a deep breath. And out. And what's one thing you can taste? Taking a deep breath. And out. How is that for you? Just in a few moments, don't you feel more present, more still, more calm, more grounded? Maybe you're breathing slower and deeper. Maybe you're feeling a bit more clear. I hope you enjoyed that. So that's one thing I want you to practice.

When you walk into a meeting room, when you walk into a zoom, when.

You walk into your room, when you.

Finish the day of work and you're in your living space, take a moment to just do that. Take a moment to just feel that presence. So that's habit number one. This one you can use at any moment, at any time. I usually use it when I feel my mind is everywhere and I feel I'm not really in this space. I may be distracted. And so when I go into a room, I always try and do this first. Now, the next thing I want to introduce you to is called diaphragmatic breathing. Now, I had to look this up when I first started hearing about it. And now when you look at medical sites, it describes the diaphragm as a large muscle that sits below the lungs. It helps move air in and out of the lungs. So we're always told to, like, breathe into your lungs. Right. But actually, diaphragmatic breathing is deep and fully engages the diaphragm and increases the efficiency of the lungs. So normal breathing is pretty shallow and doesn't necessarily completely use the lungs in the way that they can be used. So what I want you to do is I want you to place your left hand on your stomach and your right hand on your chest. And diaphragmatic or belly breathing involves fully engaging the stomach and the abdominal muscles. So what we're going to do is we're going to breathe, but as you breathe in, you're going to feel your stomach come out. So when you inhale, breathe in through the nose, drawing the breath down toward the stomach. And you'll actually feel your stomach coming out, pushing against your hand. Your chest remains still. And then when you breathe out, you want your lips just slightly open and you'll feel your stomach go in. So breathe in and feel your stomach go out and breathe out and feel your stomach go in, In through your nose and out through your mouth. So diaphragmatic breathing not only strengthens the diaphragm and stability in the core muscles, it lowers the heart rate and the blood pressure, reducing oxygen demand, and allows you to feel more relaxed. And this type of breathing, of course, is allowing you to have deeper, more powerful breaths where your lungs are actually benefiting from the process. This one I recommend practicing throughout the day. You can do it for two to five minutes at a time, multiple times a day. Whenever you feel like you're out of breath, whenever you feel like you're running around, you're rushing around. This is a great one to practice.

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This. Now, the next one I want to share with you is today referred to as box breathing or square breathing. And Webb D Says it's a deep breathing technique that can help you slow down your breathing. It works by distracting your mind as you count to four, calming your nervous system and decreasing stress in your body. So this is more directly linked to stress. The diaphragmatic breathing is the practice we use across all of these areas, and it can be used whenever, but when you're actually feeling a deep bit of stress. So in this one, what we're going to do is we're basically doing the same type of breathing, but we're adding the count of four. So the reason why it's a box.

Breath is you're breathing in for four.

Imagine a line going up, you're holding for four. Imagine a line going across, you're breathing out for four. Imagine a line going down and you're waiting for four. Imagine a line going across, so it draws a square, and you can actually visualize the square as you do this. So place your hands back in those same spaces. And I want you now to breathe in for a count of four. Feel your stomach come out and then hold for four.

Out for four.

And then wait. So that's a test run. And the careful thing you have to do is as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out. And now as you hold, hold gently. This is actually training our mind to be able to hold without holding with pressure. Often we hold on to things, even things that stress us out, by really holding them tightly. See if you can hold your breath gently. Gently and softly. And then release and feel your stomach come in and then wait. So let's do it again together. Place your hand on your stomach and your chest.

Breathe in, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4. In, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Out, 2, 3, 4.

This is an activity that may feel odd or awkward at first, but you want to do it for about 30 seconds, which will help you feel more relaxed and Controlled. It was fascinating because recently I went on to the Breakfast Club, and when I was at the Breakfast Club, I went on the show, but before the show, I was greeted by security, and one of the men at security came up to me and said hello. And he was mentioning to me that his wife listens to the podcast.

And.

And he said to me that he used to be in the military, and they were trained in the military to do box breathing when, you know, before they were about to use a firearm because it would help control their breath. And he was saying that so much of using weapons or even being in high pressure stress situations, breathing was used in military. Now, you may say, well, that's fairly extreme, but I would say, aren't there times in our day that we feel we're having an internal battle? Aren't there times in our day where we feel so stressed and pressured by the people around us? I know that we're not experiencing it that extreme, but mentally, it can feel that way. And so I want you to think about how you can practice box breathing throughout the day in times of deep stress. And if four seconds is too much, you can start with two or three seconds to help you start practicing. The goal is to breathe in and out and hold for the same amount of time creating a square.

Now, I'm going to add, I want.

You to make sure you're comfortable during these exercises. Like, these are not exercises that I take exclusive time for. These are exercises I do at my desk. These exercises I do in the car. These are exercises I do all the time. What I like about that approach is that you don't have to carve out time for these. These are activities and habits that just slot into your day that you can do whenever you like.

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So we did the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. We did diaphragmatic breathing, we did box breathing. And now I'm going to leave you with one more. And this happens to be my client's favorite one because it's the energizing breath, also sometimes known as the fire breath. And the official way of saying is Kapalabhati pranayama. I know that's hard, so you can just call it the KBP Kapalabhati Pranayama kbp. Right. So now this is really fascinating because a Sri Sri yoga teacher says that 80% of the toxins in our body are released through the outgoing breath. Regular practice of Kapalabhati pranayama detoxifies all the systems in our body. So it has massive benefits for detoxing. Right? It clears our sinuses, our lungs, the respiratory system of allergens. It invigorates and warms the system. It increases metabolism, which is really, really powerful, of course. And in a very simple sense, it gives energy. Right? I usually practice this if I've got to the end of my day, but I know I need to go out, I need to meet someone, I need to go to dinner and I'm feeling tired. This is usually what I do. Or if I wake up in the morning and I feel tired in the morning, this is something that I practice as well. So what you want to do here is this is going to feel very unnatural because we don't breathe like this at all. But I want you to stick with me. You're going to take in a natural inhale. Not too deep, not too shallow, just a natural inhale. But then on the exhale, you're going to exhale actively and sharply. So the exhale is like a millisecond. So inhale, exhale, and it almost sounds like you're clearing your nose. But if you do it sharply and actively, you'll start to feel a pump. Now, with this one, I want you to go in your own pace at your own time. And we're only going to do about 10 reps. And if you feel like continuing, you can do 20. Now, it's not about the pace, it's not about how many you can do. It's not about how fast you can go. It's about how quickly you can release your abdomen. So you breathe in. And you want to find a pace that was fairly fast and you could. There are people that do it faster, but you can find a pace that's right for you. So you may do. And you'll actually find that the inhale happens naturally. When you sharply and actively exhale, the inhale happens naturally. So it may take you a few goes to feel comfortable with this. But I want you to try it out because whenever you're feeling tired, this will be fantastically energizing. Honestly, it's so powerful. And again, you're only doing 10 to 20 reps at a time, so you're not trying to go on for as long as you can. It needs to be built up with time. So these are the four habits that I wanted to share with you today that are so powerful. This one's great for energy. The box breathing is great for stress. The diaphragmatic breathing is amazing for before sleep. And the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is for grounded. These are four daily habits that you can use throughout the day. They're like an open menu that will transform your breath, which will transform your experience of your life. I really believe that I do these before I send emails. I do this when I get a stressful email. I do this if I'm about to have a difficult phone call. I practice these breathing patterns when I'm sitting in bed struggling to sleep. These breathing patterns have become my go to. See, we already have go tos, but our go to is I can't sleep. Let me put a pill. I can't sleep. Let me go and have a snack. I feel tired. Let me eat sugar or carbs. Notice how you already have something you do. What if you could change what it is that you do? What if you could upgrade what it is that you do in order to not give in to those lower habits? I find that simply through breathwork I can feel full, energized, focused and clear and rested. And for all of you who really, really struggle, breathe in for four and out for more than four. Breathe in for four and out for more than four. That will relax you, will slow down your bre. I did a mini little challenge. I was watching whether I could control my breath in high stress situations. So we did a experiment where there was a heavy metal rock metal band that was playing really fast and hard and I had to sit next to them and lower my breath. And I found that going inward and focusing on my Breath allowed me to slow down my heart rate, even though the bass drum was going so fast. We tried the same in traffic. I even did the same in a cold plunge. And. And that's what I found every single time. That in any of those places of high stress and high speed, by simply doing these activities, I was able to drop my heart rate and the breathing rate and allow myself to feel centered and calm, even in places of chaos. So I've tried and tested this. Athletes have tried and tested this. Musicians have tried and tested this. It's now your turn. Thank you so much for listening today. Now I have to take an opportunity to do this. I waited till the end of the podcast.

Thank you.

Because I wanted to get straight into it today, but I wanted to read just the amazing reviews we have now. 17,000 reviews. And I really, really hope we can get to 20,000 this year thanks to all of you. It really helps podcasts. So I want to read some of your reviews and I want you to make sure you leave your name at the end of your reviews because I want to thank you and appreciate you. Now. This one says the world is better with On Purpose. I can't say good enough good things about On Purpose podcast. I I'm listening to as many as I can every day and soaking up all these topics like a sponge. I share it with everyone I know. The world is a better place with Jay in it. Thank you. Thank you for all of your hard work so you can help everyone and especially myself. That means the world to me. I really, really appreciate that. This is another one that says love Jay Shetty speaks to my heart so often and really has helped my relationships with. Very, very grateful. This one is from Juliana Lemos. Inspiring. As a beginning therapist in a world where people are desperate to heal from the most painful wounds, I found Jay's podcast to be so enlightening and inspiring. When I work with families, couples and individuals from across cultures, each episode gives me an opportunity to further connect with myself as a person and to improve the quality of my therapeutic services. Thank you Jay for all the work and love you put into each episode. I love that people are going to therapy and I'm so grateful that so many therapists listened on purpose. And this one says, from Doug, I recently read Jay's book Think Like a Monk and really enjoyed the book. I was having some problems at work and home last year and I feel like Jay's advice picked me up off the ground. I just found his podcast so that will and does continue to support me me and give me courage. 2022 is shaping up to be amazing. I always love the relationship communication advice also. Thanks Jay From Doug the reviews go on and on. I want to thank you all for leaving them. Please do take a moment to do that and I'll see you again next week. Thank.

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