Friday Question & Framework: June 23, 2023

Hello and welcome to the Curiosity Chronicle Friday edition. Every week in three minutes, I will give you one question and one framework to leave you thinking heading into the weekend. Without further ado, let's begin. One question what are the elements of your ideal life at 80 years old? A few months ago, I sat down with a piece of paper and imagined my ideal life at 80 years old. Here was what I came up Healthy mind and body relaxing on a sunny porch, smiling wife at my side. Children chatting with us, grandchildren playing in yard, friends walking over for a big dinner. Beginning with the ideal future end in Mind allows you to reverse engineer what is important to focus on in the present. Most notably, it made me see that my true personal definition of a successful life had very little to do with money. There are no yachts, private jets or mansions in my definition. Some features are enabled by money, the porch, and the yard, but most of them are earned through consistent behaviors and actions. Want a smiling wife at your side at 80? Be a loving husband daily. Want kids who choose to be around you. Be a supportive and caring parent daily. Want a healthy body and mind in old age? Flex your body and mind daily. Want good friends who you share laughs with? Be a good friend to those you care about daily. I'd encourage you to try the exercise, sit down and envision your ideal life at 80 years old. What does it tell you about what you need to focus on in the present framework to redefine success? Self Handicapping and How to fight back We've all been there. You have a big, ambitious goal you're driving towards, but you start to feel a creeping sense of doubt about whether you can achieve it. You worry about failing to achieve the goal. So you start thinking, speaking and acting in ways that subtly cut into your odds of success. You shrink yourself down to avoid a hard fall. Self handicapping is a psychological protection strategy that people use to insulate their self esteem from the damage of potential failure. When someone engages in self handicapping, they engage in actions or behaviors that actually undermine their chance at success in an effort to provide themselves with a built in excuse if failure occurs. Self handicapping is an emotional and psychological shield we all put up, one that is particularly prevalent among highly ambitious people who set high bars for success. I believe there is a simple root cause. We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary. When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the achievement of the extraordinary, we create a perfect storm for self handicapping to fight back. Start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy and fulfillment in the small. In the process, not the prize. Your success is not determined by your achievement of the extraordinary, but by your ability to show up to day in, day out and lay one new brick in your life's wall. That's all for today. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you're thinking and I hope you'll share it with others. As always, until next time, stay curious, friends.