Do THIS To Find Your Soul Correction | Live Workshop

Reactive behavior is any thought or action which comes from lack, fear, or doubt in order to connect to instant gratification. Every time we are reactive, we are pushing our soulmate away, and we are attracting more people who will have to test us in that area where we are reactive. So I'll say it again. Let's say, for example, you're the kind of person that, um, doesn't value their time. You don't know the value of your time. You feel maybe you're not worthy to receive compensation for your time. That's a big soul correction, especially people in the healing or wellness space. You're providing a service, but you're afraid to profit from it or make money from it. So you subconsciously are pushing away the money. But if you don't have a well-funded business, you really can't help more people. You understand the catch-22? All right. So, if you feel that you do not deserve to receive, you will attract people who will waste your time to show you to break out of that. Eventually, you'll be pushed and hurt and abused so much where then you strive to find your power and really what life is about and really what your soul is about. Proactive behavior is the transformation of reactive behavior. But this part's important. Not just to be a better person, but I'm doing this to be with the light. I have an example for you. And I want to know your opinion on what you would do. And we're gonna actually workshop it with 3 people. Gonna get to the essence of this. This is a true story. There's a woman came to me and said, I've been dating this guy for a few months. It is not exclusive. We never said it was exclusive. She's giving you the background. She's heated, talking, she's upset. I want to know what advice you would give this situation. I said, please. He's a great guy. We never talked about exclusivity. I was at his house. We started to be intimate. It wasn't our first time being intimate. I walked into his room and I saw a thong there. A thong. I saw a thong. I saw a thong.

Not her.

I asked, I said, was it your thong? She said, "No, I would never wear that cheap shit." I said, "Proceed." She said, "I mean, it's clear he's a piece of shit and I'm moving on from the relationship." She's like, "What is the spiritual lesson? Before I break it off, I want to know what would you do?" I said, "First, I mean, what would I do?" Never mind. So my question for you is, what is the right thing to do? Did he make a mistake? Did she make a mistake? She started to make him feel bad for it. She picked up the evidence, shoved it in his face and said, "What is this?" From this moment forward, this will be known as Thong Gate. So take a moment now for a couple of minutes. In groups of 3, what is your opinion about the scenario? You can opine on anything you want. You can opine on why is she attracted to that man? Did he disrespect her? Did he mess up in some way? You can take this anywhere you want, and I would love to hear what you come up with in a moment, and we'll share it as a group, and we'll see where we go from there. So please. Let's give this fine gentleman a microphone. What's your name? Michael. All right, Michael, what is your opinion on the matter and anything else you want to share?

I'm going to take a deep breath. God forgive me for what I'm going to say. So first off, This man needs a lesson in cleanliness.

How many of you, your mind actually went there first? It's very interesting, right? The real issue here is he's not organized.

Please. Um, and the second thing is there's obviously a breakdown or lack of communication in the situation. And so the way I viewed it is actually this thang was put there by God to create an opportunity for both of them to express what their true desires were in the relationship. I've been studying.

I came prepared. Bible. And ladies, all for all of you who clapped, if this man was with you and you found his thong and he said that, would you get up and give him a standing ovation the way you just did right now? Would you be like you? Because if you did, That's magnetic. And by the way, if you're doing it because you're actually trying to control him and you're trying to become the woman that you know he wants you to be, is that reactive or proactive?

Very good.

So the same action, right? If you clap and say, you know what, that Michael, that is, I can't believe, that is brilliant. Like, now we can both communicate, we can get close to what we both want, can have a relationship that we both love. Like, wow, I'm so thankful for the thong and whoever the woman is. Now, that sounds like a very mature response. And if that was the response, now a secondary question comes into play. Are you saying that because you have a soul correction where you appease men, you need the validation of a man. And if that's true, then where it's coming from, your goal here is not to be with the Creator. Your goal here is make this man like you more, and you just happen to be smart enough to know how to do it. So then it's reactive. So your soul is getting farther away from the light even if you're making the relationship work. What would be a different opinion? Anybody have an opposing opinion, or maybe an opinion that's a little different? And by the way, there's no right or wrong. Ingrid, yes please.

He purposely he left the thong there because he wanted to break up and he didn't have the balls to do it. So he left the thong there so that that could be the reason to break up.

Okay, how many people find truth in what Ingrid said? Raise your hand. Okay, I think the word purposely is catching people off. I don't think he would actually go and like, you know, like put gloves on, like buy a thong like lay it, spritz. I don't think he's doing that. But I think what you're saying is he subconsciously was afraid that he's in a rela— that he's getting into a committed relationship. And even though he's saying to her and to everyone he's ready for one, she might be so good that he wants to sabotage it, a subconscious level. So we've talked about this in other seminars. You have desires that are Overt, you know about them, everyone else knows about them. You communicate these desires. And then you have subconscious desires, which you don't even know you have. So for example, you may say, "I desire to be in a relationship. I'm ready for a committed one." But subconsciously, you also desire to be independent. You don't want to be hurt. You don't want to feel pain. And so you believe if you get into a relationship, you're going to go through pain. At some point, so you rather not be in one. That type of person ends up dating and then sabotaging without knowing why they're doing it. They're not even purposely doing it. They're praying for realities that undo the relationship. Okay? So is that a potential scenario where he subconsciously wanted the relationship to end? Yes or no?

Yes.

Yes, that is true as well. It's a good way of looking at it. What else would you like to share? Yes, please. What's your name?

I'm Heather.

Heather.

I think it's a Tikkun thing, right? So it's not uncommon for women, I don't know if I'm the only one, who maybe wants to be in a relationship, but you're scared, so you don't actually say what you really want in the beginning. And so you end up overgiving, and particularly when it comes to intimacy, assuming that if you do that, then you're going to in an unspoken way, create some kind of a soul contract where they owe you something for giving them that, right? And then on the men's side, men maybe sometimes in their tikkun will take what they're offered without expressing or seeking clarity themselves of like, well, what does this mean for you? Are we, you know, open? Are we, you know, casual? Are you looking for something that's more, you know, committed. So I think it's a tycoon on both sides. It's pretty common for men and women, the transactional quality that women will overgive, hoping that by not asking or saying what they need, but just being cool, right? And sexy, that somehow it's gonna work out at some point in the future.

This is interesting. Everyone understands what Heather's saying? So there are women who maybe they don't know what they want, but by playing it cool, not, expressing their desires or communicating those desires right away, they appear more attractive, they appear more desirable. And what is the end goal? Like, why would you want to do that in the first place? Yeah, let's say you have it.

Yeah, because this is not autobiographical at all. I just kind of pulled it out of some clinical research.

Do you have a scenario like that? Are you with someone?

Huh?

Are you with someone?

No.

Okay. Are you single?

Yeah.

How old are you?

Older than you think. I'm currently aging backwards, so I'd rather not say. Apparently this is what happens when you get a good divorce.

All right.

By the way, you all know the rules. Why do I ask questions? Because for whatever. And do I always ask the same questions? Never ask the same questions. It's the first question I asked you. I don't often ask that. It's the first question. With your permission, if you're willing to do, are you willing to do this?

Totally happy.

That's why you're here, right?

Absolutely.

The questions I'm asking often are questions that your soul is planting in my brain to ask you.

Yeah, I trust that.

Okay.

100% certainty.

All right, I appreciate that. So when I ask you about your age, obviously there's that moment that, and I think you were kind of joking, I think you don't really mind, but I do wanna dive into that. So how old are you?

I'm 49.

You're 49?

I told you.

I'm like, oh yeah.

I know.

Well done, well done. What sign are you?

Gemini.

Gemini.

Scorpio moon, I know.

Yep, yep. Yep, yep. And were you married before?

Yeah, going through a divorce right now.

Going through a divorce right now. How long were you married?

22 years.

22 years.

Kids?

3.

Is it an amicable divorce?

I'm making it as amicable as possible.

But you're saying he is not?

Well, yeah. I mean, I think there's a desire for amicability on both sides. It's just a challenge for me to be amicable because of the behaviors that led to The end. Yeah.

Behaviors. Can I ask what happened?

Yeah. Well, lots of things, but fundamentally I went on a girls' weekend trip in March to Puerto Rico and had a really amazing time and just had kind of a wake-up call. Like I just met a weird person randomly who was like, "You're not happy. Someone's not treating you the way you're meant to be treated. You're not loved the way you're meant to be loved." And I was like, "Oh my God." And so, I probably for the last 5 years had realized that the marriage was over, and before that even kind of recognized that it was falling apart. So I went home, and we went for a walk, and I said, "I want you to tell me the truth." And he said, "The truth about what?" And I said, "The truth about the cheating." And he said, "Well, what do you consider cheating?" So then I tried—

What do you mean the truth about the cheating?

The cheating.

How'd you spot that about the cheating?

Because I had had suspicions our entire marriage that he hadn't been faithful, and when I would bring it up, he would tell me—

Your entire marriage?

Yeah.

From day one for 22 years.

I know. Yep, that's, that's on, that's on this lady.

Well, by the way, I also want—

no, no, by the way, I'm taking responsibility for that is what I'm saying. I'm not a victim of it.

And I appreciate you saying that. There's a part of you that's also, I don't know, beating yourself up.

Yeah, that's true.

How many people feel that similar to what Heather's feeling, similar, you're going through? Okay. All right, so there's a couple things coming up here, and I want you to see What's happening? Number 1, the word behavior shines for me. Number 2, you said you're taking responsibility for 22 years kind of the looking the other way. 10 years looking the other way. So then finally you went up to him and said, I wanna know the truth.

Yes.

And he said what?

Well, first he said, well, what do you define as cheating? Which is an interesting first question. Yeah. So then I tried to think of everything I thought of as cheating. I guess I missed a couple 'cause I got more information later, but, and then he told me of all the cheating that had happened from the time we were dating. Uh-huh. Up and through the first 6 years of our marriage.

How did you feel about that?

Relieved.

Relieved?

Yeah.

Why is that?

Because at the time when I was feeling so anxious, he would tell me things like, "You're crazy, you're delusional, you're making things up." Like, No guy will wanna be with you. Like, you're just like, you know, he would do a lot of gaslighting. So when he told me, I started laughing and crying and I was like, oh my God, I'm not crazy. My intuition was right. I should have trusted myself. Oh, what a relief. So that was the first thing. And then the second thing was, well, our marriage is now over.

Yeah.

And you said that to him?

I did.

And what did he say?

He got like kind of aggressive. And was like, "No, like, just kind of, you need to leave, you need to leave the house," or whatever. And I was like, "I'm not going anywhere. You're not gonna control me anymore." And the good news is what in that conversation, what happened was that he also struggled with addiction. And somehow something happened in me holding my boundary that made him immediately have this breakdown where he reached out to a friend who came and met him at the place we were and like took him to a 12-step meeting. And he immediately started, Interesting. 12 steps. But yeah, so—

That's actually— let me ask you, why did you not say anything for 22 years?

Well, my tikkun, basically, of really wanting to be loved and overgiving and self-sacrificing in order to get the illusion of a beautiful family, which is what I didn't grow up with that.

Listen to Heather's words exactly. Her northern star, her number one desire was, I want to be loved. What is your definition of being loved? If I said, what does it mean to you to be loved? What would you say?

I mean, it's changed significantly.

No, of then.

Back then. Oh yeah. Someone who like you match on paper, like you have similar backgrounds, you have similar goals for your life. Do you want to have kids? Like, where do you want to live? Do you like to travel?

And did you have that?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, absolute soulmate in terms of at the moment who I was supposed to meet. So grateful for him. Beautiful children. So grateful.

And it doesn't excuse whatever he did, by the way. We never go there. What's powerful is you're like a very powerful manifester. If you think about how powerful of a manifester she is, she had a goal, she had a desire, she manifested it. Like with precision. She had a goal. She said, I wanna be loved. Creator's like, what else? I believe love's definition is da, da, da, da, da. Creator's like, anything else you need? She's like, no, I'm good. She was granted that life, right? And then there's a part of her soul that finally is trying to grow to its perfection. But the body's like, hey, like it's good. Soul is like, no, and it sends a signal to break her out of it. So what happens is a lot of times when people ignore their tikkun, they actually have to die, physically die. Their soul leaves and it comes back into a new scenario to open them up to a new spiritual process. If you are lucky, you go through the death while you are alive, which means that there is a loss of wealth. Usually when a person loses all their money, it is considered a reincarnation. You actually die. Die, like when you feel broke and broken, when you go through a divorce, and you start to lose like a very important relationship, or you lose— anything you lose that makes you feel death is actually a clinical spiritual death, and your soul reincarnates. She was lucky for whatever reason to have to go through it while she's alive, and not to physically have to die in order to achieve it. She sends a signal, this random person who was on this retreat comes to you and says you're not happy. That's just mirroring what her soul is saying. Then she has the conversation and it unravels. And now we're going towards your next destiny. All right. So the question now becomes, what do you want? When I ask you this question now, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Not just tell me the right answer, but what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

I think that what I want the most is to heal my soul, like from the Tikun that caused me to get into that.

Which is what? What is that Tikun?

Overgiving.

Overgiving is not the Tikun? Overgiving is the reaction. Oh, I am sorry.

Neediness.

So overgiving is the reactive behavior. It is the behavior that feeds the soul correction. Soul correction, negative attribute that my soul came to the world with that I must recognize and transform in order to emulate the vibration of the Creator. All right. So what would you say that is? It's neediness?

Like a neediness, like a low self-worth.

Okay, low self-worth.

Self-abandonment.

What do you believe about yourself?

In that, in the neediness? Yeah. I'm not wanted. Nobody loves me. Nobody wants me. I had a very interesting way of coming into the world that would have—

I was gonna say, were you adopted?

My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, and the whole time she was pregnant, she wasn't sure if she was gonna keep me or not.

So she energetically sent that to the womb.

And then my first year of life, I was passed around to several caretakers. So I never really had like a consistent caretaker. Caretaker. Okay. Yeah. So who's, who's here today? Who's loving me now? Do you love me? Got it. Do you like me? Who's changing my diaper? Who's giving me a bottle?

Yeah, a lot of inconsistency.

Yeah.

Okay, so even that is not the reason why she has this soul correction. Her soul had this correction before and then chose that 19-year-old mom as the perfect match to awaken her fear of abandonment. You have a question about this? Yeah, I'm going to give you the mic so we can have a dialogue about it. I just want to double-click on this. Her soul came with the fear of abandonment. Her soul's like, well, how am I going to experience the fear of abandonment? No one better than a 19-year-old mom who doesn't want me. Soul chose the mom. Mom chose her too, for whatever her soul correction is. We're not going to get into it. And she had the, actually, the benefit of awakening this fear early on in her life. Had she found Kabbalah, let us say, when she was a teenager, she would have identified the soul correction and worked on it so that she no longer comes from that place anymore. She would be able to shift destinies before ever meeting her soon-to-be ex-husband. There was actually another man that would've been waiting. What age were you when you got married?

25.

You were 25. So at 25, when did you meet him? 23?

Yeah.

Okay. At 23, she could've met two different men. One man was the one she married. The other man was the one that would've treated her differently based on whatever she would've transformed prior to that moment in time. Had she overcome her thoughts that she doesn't deserve, had she actually felt whole and complete inside, The whole universe would have shifted. She would have entered a new destiny. Her husband of today would have never even known her, met her. She would be invisible to him. Something would have happened. She would not have met him that day. They would not have spoken. Maybe some other woman would have met him. And she would have shifted to a different destiny. Okay? Now, another soul correction is going to kick in right now, which is, potentially, look at the time I wasted. 'Look at the mistakes I made, I can't believe.' Low-key, low-key that exists in all of us. Would you agree? You have to be very careful now at this moment to never go in the past and criticize yourself for what happened. The sages say that once something has happened, you need to believe it was destined to happen since the beginning of creation, you had no free will. Heather needs to believe she had no free will to meet any other man but this man. That sounds like the exact opposite of what? What I just said. That there's actually, there was two men and she could have chosen. This is the nuance of spirituality and Kabbalah that I want you to internalize. There's no like rule, black and white rule. The rule here is if it's happened, you have to believe with certainty that it was destined to happen no matter what. When it has to do with the past. When it has to do with moving forward, you have to believe that you have free will right now to elevate yourself as much as possible. Yes, what's your question? So what— Stand up for a sec. What's your name again?

Diane.

Diane.

So what if Heather had a great childhood? Then what?

I didn't though.

Yeah, but I'm just asking.

She's asking what would be the different scenario?

Because if, let's say, say the same thing, right? The same storyline, but had the childhood been nurturing?

Okay, so I just want to point out one more thing. Diane— I'm sorry, Heather.

Yeah.

How quickly you responded to her, that stood out to me.

Yeah.

That is now getting deeper into the core correction.

Yeah.

Did you feel it?

Yes. That's why I said healing my tikkun with my parents. That's what—

with your appearance. And that's why the age thing.

Yeah, that's why I talked about the being the way I came into the world.

Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Now you have 350 people looking at you.

Hi guys.

So all of this, how you appear, how you make other people feel, is a big thing for you, right? Send everything you've learned so far. What is the one thing you're doing to heal this? Because I feel like you're incredibly motivated to do so.

Well, I'm practicing forgiveness towards my mom. I do the Anabakoak every morning and night, and I send her healing and protection, even though I can't speak to her in person right now. I'm really enjoying a deeper relationship with my brother and sister, and in that we're having deeper conversations about our childhood where we're kind of healing and bonding and recognizing it and kind of celebrating it in terms of our resilience and how far we've come. But that's where I think soulmate, shmoulmate, you know what I mean? Like, this is the work I need to do. And because it's, you know, I'm doing the 30 days with you online. And when you talk about the father wound and the mother wound, like, those are the things that brought me the exact partner I had. He is an embodiment of both in one person.

Yeah. What's the mantra that you use every day to connect to your perfected self?

My mantra changes depending on kind of how I'm feeling, because every morning I read the Zohar and then I ask the Creator to show me what I need to know.

What comes to you now?

That I'm ready to release the pain and resentment of my past and allow it to transform my vessel so that I can hold more light.

I like that. I want to give it even a more I am statement. And I want everybody here to know that the reason why she stood up is because we all have an aspect of Heather in our life. And that could be the aspect where we're still holding on to something that we're judging ourselves for. There could be the aspect of us that needs to be seen and feels like we'll only be happy if we're seen. It's a part of us that want people to know about our accolades, like know what we do well. A lot of each one of us have— this is a very prominent tikun. I would give you— what I would give you if I was in your situation, I would say there's a part of you that still potentially enjoys staying in this position. And until you fully acknowledge that addiction, there's nothing more tasty than feeling like you're the victim. More addictive than heroin. It's the tastiest pleasure when people feel bad for you. It's like you post, like you're going through something, you went through something traumatic and you post about it to your audience. And everyone puts like a heart emoji and is like, "We're with you, we got you, da-da." Like, there has to be acknowledge— you have to acknowledge a part of you that we like that. And it's funny, as I'm trying to think of what they even tell you, like, they're swatting it all away. It's like, there's no point because she still likes it and she will potentially draw it in more because it's addictive. I want you to think about that. And then we'll circle back towards the end of today and see where we go with that. Give her a round of applause.