Romanticize Your Character Building Chapter - Practical Steps to Level Up
Elay Amitay Halevi walks through how to reframe hard periods as character-building by romanticizing them. He shares his own moves: cold-calling for business, powerlifting for confidence. The concrete steps: simplify decisions, set three daily work items, wake early, meditate, journal, and pick actions that pull you toward who you want to be.
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Hi, everyone. Welcome or welcome back to the channel. I want to talk to you guys this week about some real practical things that you can do to start shifting your identity and aligning with what you want in your life. And I'm going to talk about, like, the real, real step by step daily things that I did to completely change my life. The reason this is coming up this week is because this week has been such a forward moving week for me and I've got a lot of stuff done that I was kind of putting off for a while. I feel I've gained a lot of momentum in a new identity once again and a new direction. And it's just reminding me of the kind of times in my life where I've made the biggest kind of leaps and shifts into a new version of myself. So this is the stuff, just a little bit of backstory. This is the stuff that got me from, you know, in the box room in my family home, completely alone, no man, no prospects, no hope, to being able to sign up clients on my own for the first time in my business and to be able to actually generate consistent revenue in my business at the time to the point that I was able to become independent, move country. And then all my dreams kind of started aligning from there. One thing that I realized this week is that was a dark period for me. I would, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. That time when I was back in Ireland on my own in that, like, small bedroom, on that small desk, on my old slow laptop, cold calling businesses, that was me in the trench. And do you know how I got through it? I romanticized it. I held this vision and this belief that this dark time was my origin story and was building me into something magnificent. And oh, my God, how true that was. If it weren't for that version of me who was throwing myself outside my comfort zone and, and just literally trying anything to have progress in my business, to just grow as a person and become someone who could make a sale, deliver a service and do all this stuff that I never thought I could do before. If it wasn't for that version of me that was willing to sit through all that discomfort, I would not be where I am today. So this week my partner bought his first supercar and. And we were, I think it was on Tuesday. We were driving through Marbella and we were listening to Innerbloom right after he got the car, which is like, Rufus Du Sole is like the montage song to my life. Like, if anyone knows me, you'll know that's my song. I'm actually going to Rufus du Sol in two weeks. And I'm so excited, guys. I'm gonna have another awakening. I can just feel it. Rufus du Sol is like my soul music. Like, it just gets me so just thinking about, like, my vision and thinking about all the things I love about my life. And it also Inner bloom, specifically. If you know that song, you know, if you don't know, look it up. It's very. It's very bittersweet. Like, it gets me thinking about all the good times, all the hard times, and everything in between. So it just makes me look at my life as a montage, basically. And we were driving in a Ferrari, like, top down, palm trees, inner boom playing. And I was just sobbing. I was sobbing. I was sobbing. It's not even my car, but it's my partner's car. So it's just so cool that that's part of my reality now. And honestly, guys, it's really surreal. Like, it's really, really surreal. But I just had a flashback to literally just over a year ago. I was in that box room in Ireland alone, just trying to get my business off the ground, right? And it just made me think, if it weren't for that version of me who was making those cold calls and doing all of that shit alone, I would not be here in this moment, in this sports cart with the top down, experiencing what I'm experiencing right now. And the thing is, you know, I did make a video last week on growth doesn't have to be painful, but you've got to put yourself through training grounds sometimes to become the version of you that exists in your dream reality. And you've got to break the old habits of your old identity. Which, yes, can be painful in a sense, but it's about how you perceive that pain. Like, when I was waking up every morning and there was no one to keep me accountable, there was no one to cheer me on, There was no one to support me. I was in a very uninspiring environment. I felt really lonely. I felt like every time I picked up the phone and cold call someone, I just kept getting rejected on the phone. Like, that is a very tough environment to be in. But I started seeing that inherently painful stuff as just fuel. I was like, okay. Every single thing that I'm dealing with right now is building my character. And if you're going through a hard time right now, I want you to just start looking at this period as your character building phase. Because honestly, if I hadn't gone through my character building phase, I would not be the woman that I am today. I would not have been able to stand on my own two feet, move country on my own. I would not have resonated with the partner that I'm with right now because I wouldn't have had this like, resiliency, this business mindset. I would like if I had gotten into this relationship that I'm in right now without having set up my own business and developed myself just through doing cold calls and sales and my confidence and things like that with, I wouldn't have been a match to the partner that I'm with right now. And like, it's very easy to, I think, look at what you want in another person, look at what you want in a partner. But I got my dream partner when I became my dream woman. And that is the best way to go about it. Because otherwise you're going to be looking for validation in your relationship all the time. And if that relationship ends, you're fucking screwed. Right? So anyway, that's a tangent, but every cold call, every little thing that I did when I was in that dark time, all added up to all the blessings that I have right now. And I realized this when I was sitting in meditation and I could see my future and I could see where I am right now and all the choices in between. I said, okay, maybe I need to put myself back in a little bit of a training ground. And then I got excited. Then I got excited because I was like, you know what? You've gotta romanticize your growth phases because otherwise they will be painful. And that's when it clicked for me. Like, you've gotta go all in on the choices that you can make today. You've gotta look at the options available in front of you through the lens of your future self and then make the decision that stretches you and make the decision that's going to quantum shift you towards your desired reality. No matter how uncomfortable that decision is. That's how you start building momentum in a new direction. And there's really no other way to do it. We tend to say so caught up in the things in the past. What we don't like, what we don't prefer, that we don't realize all the options available to us right now to become what we do prefer, like the divine creator. The game that we're playing is not rigged against you. The. The options are available to you right now, today. Like, you could make three decisions today that could change the trajectory of your life forever. You've got free will and your paradigm, your past, your story that you're telling yourself is the only thing that's stopping you from seeing all of these choices that are available to you. So for a long time in my first business, I basically got my first client. It was a friend of mine who owned a gym. And then my second client was also kind of my friend. And then my third client was kind of passed over to me by my ex. So, like, I got it through people that I knew. I got clients to people that I knew that allowed me to get good at the service I was providing, which was marketing. But then I was put into this training ground, I like to call it, where I was down to one client and I, I needed more clients. And I had to go and learn how to do outreach. I had to go and learn how to set up a website, how to cold call, how to sell. And these things went so against my nature. And I kept trying to go for like low hanging fruit, I kept trying to find the easiest available option. But by doing that, I was staying in an old identity that could not take me to my new reality. So I, I had to start looking at the options that were available to me that would really, really stretch me. It's the options that you don't want to look at. It's the choices that you don't want to make because they're going to make you really uncomfortable and they're going to stretch you. Those are the choices that are going to build you into the character that you've been always wanting to become, the character that can live your dream life. And the longer you put those choices off, the longer you delay accessing your dream life. Okay, so nothing has ever made me more confident than cold calling, than being able to make a sale on my own, than being able to receive my first payment for the fruits of my labor and nothing else. Like just knowing that. I sat down, called hundreds of businesses, eventually got through to someone agreeing to a sale, went in person, had that conversation, generated that sale, got them to have conviction in what I was selling, delivered a service for a month, and then received payment and a happy client experience at the end. The fact that I created that whole experience on my own by myself is one of the biggest things that contributed to my confidence today and me knowing that I can overcome challenges on my own. Okay, so you've got to be willing to put yourself outside your comfort zone so that you can create these experiences for yourself. Because your brain learns through new experiences. If you have an experience of your reality showing you and Creating this narrative that you're powerless, that you can't handle stressful situations, that you're not good at sales or you're not confident in speaking to people. You've got to go out into the world and create experiences that contradict that. That is the ultimate like concrete way to rewire that narrative. We can go into the journal, we can, we can start reframing our beliefs, we can start changing the narrative through those processes, through meditation, which I was doing as well at this time, and it made it easier. But when you go out into the world and you solidify a new narrative through taking action and generating an actual experience that contradicts the old one, the old one is dead. It ceases to exist. And now this is the truth of who you are. So this is why like this week as well and last week I pushed myself to start recording in the studio. And you've got to start developing this habit. As soon as you notice yourself telling yourself a self limiting story, create an experience that you have to jump into that's going to rewrite that story. That's how you become a powerful human being. That's how you become someone who always transcends your own limits. How you start doing this is you've got to be very realistic about what your life is going to be like if you don't start doing this. If you stay in the same habits, in the same routines, in the same patterns of thought, procrastination, outsourcing your power, looking for the lowest hanging fruit and the easiest options, staying in your comfort zone. Realize where you're going to go in life. If you keep making the same choices you've always made, you're going to stay exactly where you are. And people want these big dreams and these big goals and they're not willing to pay the price of those goals. So I don't want you to ever take my content as you can close your eyes and have a vision and it's going to land in your lap. No. God gave you the ability to imagine and visualize, but he also gave you a body and arms and legs. Okay, you're here in this body because you're supposed to physically make things happen. How you behave is also an energetic thing. The decisions you make, the actions you take, their votes for the person that you are. If you're not acting like a million dollar business owner, you, you are not going to have a million dollar business. And I do mention this, but I want to drive it home in this video like your standard for what you think is going to generate success for you. You don't even know how much it's going to take yet because you haven't done it yet. So you've got to be willing to stretch yourself and you've got to be willing to morph and grow and develop resilience. If you look at where you want to go, look at the people that are there, look at their characteristics and then look at what you need. So for me, I had to become resilient. I had to overcome my procrastination, I had to have courage. I had to pick up the phone when my hand was shaking and dial numbers of businesses and have those awkward conversations over and over again to become resilient, to become the version of me who could start generating revenue and generating success. And I don't think people realize, like you can't sidestep that, you can't bypass that. So I do talk a lot about masculine and feminine energy. That is the masculine energy. And you make this easier by doing it to support a vision that excites you. So you want to look at it like a game and you're developing your character in this game. That's where you want to bring in the feminine, play fun part of it. You've got to kind of force your way into it initially. Then you start gaining momentum, then you get into flow. So you need both of these things. You can't just like wishy washy flow around life and expect things to land in your lap. You need to generate the frequency through your words, through your identity, through changing your patterns, and through actually creating new routines, new habits that signal that you are this new person. I think this is where a lot of people actually suffer. And I don't want my content to come off as if like, oh, just set the vision and it will happen. Like that's not, not my intention and that's not actually reality. You've got to carry out actions and make decisions as the version of you who's already in the reality that you desire. And that's how you get there. And you've got to do it with the cards that are dealt right before you right now. And that's the only way to get there. So whatever options are in front of you right now, there are options that are going to take you towards your goals and there are options that are going to take you away from your goals. And if you are setting this big crazy vision and you're, you keep choosing things that take you away from that, you're not going to get there because you're not embodying the energy of the version of you who's in the vision. So you're. That's. That's the law. You've got to be it and become it, and then you will have it. You become first and then you have. So I really want you to be so practical because I think a lot of suffering comes in when you forget how much power you have and you try to avoid maybe taking some uncomfortable actions, maybe making some decisions that stretch you and put you outside your comfort zone. That's when you actually start suffering because you start thinking of all the reasons why it's not going to work, all the reasons why you're not good enough. And instead of thinking, okay, how can it work? How can I be good enough? How can I develop this skill? How can I develop this mindset? How can I develop this characteristic? You shoot yourself in the foot and you say, well, I can't have it because I'm not like that. What's in front of you right now can help you become the version of you you need to be. And that's all you need to focus on. So you've got to simplify your mindset, simplify your focus, and simplify your life and zone in on. What can you do? I actually had this come up this week, so I had. I've actually developed an ability to bounce back from this now very quickly. But in the beginning, it used to knock me off course for a really long time. So this week I. There's a. There's someone that I watch on YouTube who I really like. She's like a feminine energy coach. And I was curious about some of her programs, so I searched up the name of her programs. I'm not going to name drop, but I searched up the name of her programs on Google and just Google searched them. God, I sound like an old timer on the Google. I Google searched the programs and I was looking for reviews basically just to see what they were like. And I ended up only finding like three Reddit forums about this person. And they were so negative. And I was like, oh my God. And I thought this person was like, really, really positive. Like, she's someone who I would admire a lot of things about how she works and everything. And I remember thinking, God, this is really a whole negative side to this that I didn't see before. And one of the comments basically went off on creators and life coaches and gurus and how, like, nobody should ever charge for anything. And it was this whole thing about how, like, if you don't have a degree, you shouldn't be doing this work. And I kind of let that get in my head and I started thinking, oh, God, but who am I to be posting content? Who am I to be a coach? And this is. This was my mindset in the beginning when I first started posting content. And I kind of let it keep me down for a few hours. And then what popped out the other side of that was, okay, what would make you feel more credible? What can you focus on that's going to make you feel like what you're doing is valuable? And I thought, I haven't been learning as much as I usually am. I haven't been doing any courses. I haven't been like, investing in my own knowledge and insights as much as I normally am. When I do that, I don't ever doubt the content that I'm creating, the value that I'm providing. So that was a really simple, easy fix, right? So this uncomfortable, limiting belief, this uncomfortable thing that came up for me, it came up to show me something, to show me a choice that I needed to make to. To get back in the energy of the version of me living my dream life. So I all of a sudden had this moment of clarity where I was like, oh, shit. Well, I haven't been reading, I haven't been doing my stuff. So that's all I need to do. I need to get back to that and like, you know, if it comes to it, I'll do a psychology degree if that's what I feel like I need to do. Do you know what I mean? These decisions are available to you. There is a solution to everything. It's just a matter of are you going to actually go and make the choice that's going to solve your problem, or are you going to keep just looking at the problem that. I hope that example made sense because this is what could happening to me and my business. Like, I kept running into roadblock after roadblock. And if you're in business or you're starting a business, you're going to find this as well. You have to become adaptable and resilient, and you need to look for the solution to the problems. As soon as you come up with a limiting belief or you put a wall up in front of yourself, ask yourself, well, what do I need to develop within myself? Or what action do I need to take that will solve this immediately? No matter how much it goes against my identity right now, no matter how much it will stretch me outside my comfort zone, I need to take that action and Then you start suffering. When you avoid taking that action, that's when the suffering starts. So like I kind of wallowed in that for a day and then I thought, no, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to do something I've been putting off in my business, which is making more resources for my community. I had all this stuff saved and I sat down and I recorded it all over two days. I recorded so many, so much content and immediately any lingering doubt of anything was gone. Because I have physical evidence in front of me, like boom. Life changing stuff that I created that I'm putting into modules into a community that I haven't seen anyone else do. How I'm doing it right, and I've been thinking about it for a long time, but I actually just went and did it immediately. I'm confirming to myself and my identity that I am who I want to be, I am who I say I am, and all that self doubt is gone. So there's one quote, there's a course that I did, I did Charlie Morgan's course, by the way. Shout out Charlie Morgan. Everyone's doing Charlie Morgan's course now. And you guys that are emailing me with Charlie Morgan's templates, I know you're using his template, so don't use his templates on me because I won't reply. It's like a catch 22. But like I know you're using Charlie Morgan's course, so I'm like, I appreciate the hustle, I actually really do. It's getting a bit samey now though. I think you need a new template. Like it's obvious you guys, when you're using Charlie Morgan's framework, but I did his course, this was a couple of years ago and in one of his. I really enjoyed the first few modules in that because he talked a lot about mindset and he talked a lot about resistance and that just really got me looking at this thing like a character development game. And he said when resistance comes up, so whether it's procrastination or doubt or anything like that, you can kill it immediately with action. And that mindset helped me get so much done. Because when you're trying to do like outreach, when you're trying to do things that you've never done before, there's going to be so much internal resistance within you because your old identity wants to keep you the same. It wants to keep you stuck in your old reality. So you can guarantee that resistance is going to come up. Resistance is this enemy you're going to go have to go to war with it every single day. This is how he described it. And the way you win that battle every day is just by taking action in spite of it, taking action against it. And that's what I kept doing whenever I felt like this is never going to work. I feel so much self doubt. Oh, what about this? I'm not the type of person to do this or this person's gonna say no, take an action, take an action, take an action. And this seems very counterintuitive to what I talk about most of the time. But it's not you taking the action is you casting another vote for the person you're becoming. It's you reconfirming your new identity. Rather than allowing yourself to thought spiral into a pattern that corresponds with your old identity, you can pull yourself out of a negative thought pattern, an old negative thought loop, immediately by taking an action. So I call this tricking your paradigm with action. And I love it. So we're going to get into some practical stuff now so you can actually do this. But one thing also that I incorporated is I will. Whenever I find myself spiraling into negativity, sometimes I allow myself. If something's purging and I need to process something, I need to journal something, I'll do that and I'll sit with it. But if I'm just kind of in a bit of a negativity loop and I'm kind of just dwelling on things and woe is me, I will. Or if I just. If my energy is just funky, I will put in my earphones, put on Rufus, do Sol and go for a walk or a run or a sprint. Sprint. Move your body, move your ass. Do something. Change what you're doing. Change your environment. Change. Just go. Move. Because you can't stay stuck in the same thought pattern. You're. You're literally. Your thoughts will have to change. If you get into a funk mentally and you put on Rufus to solid or whatever you're into, and you go and do sprints outside, come back and tell me you're in the same top pattern, you will not be. So that's what I call tricking your paradigm with action. And you take this a step further by taking actions that the old version of you would never, never take. That's how you confirm that you're not the same version of you that you were before. And that's how you enter a new reality, because you can't enter a new reality as an old version of you. So my other content Helps you prime into that energy. Helps you do, like, the energetic components that might block you from that. But at the end of the day, at the end of all that inner work, you've got to take the actions and show up. So practically, these are actions that I have taken that have seriously changed my energy and helped me become a very confident and secure and driven and focused individual and a grateful person who's been able to attract amazing things into my life. And I used to be. Just to give you some context, where can we zoom this back to when I was a teenager, I was so insecure. There was a time when I was 14, 15, that I did not want to be on this earth. Like, I felt completely alone. I felt like a loser. I used to always go red in school. I felt like my friends hated me. I've spoken about this a little bit before. My family situation wasn't good. And I really thought I was worthless for a long time. I was. I used to be super insecure. That insecurity actually stayed with me for a long time. And I could see it in my romantic relationships. I was attracting really insecure guys that were just really not good for me, that treated me really badly. I tolerated social media so much disrespect in my relationships, which also contributed to me having low confidence. So when I tell you I started at ground zero, I really did, you guys. Like, I am literally my dream woman compared to who I used to be. And you can even see it, like, when I started YouTube, how I expressed myself a year ago to how I express myself now, it's constantly growing and it's constantly evolving. But I had to put myself through different training ground periods to become this version of me. So the first thing that I did practically to start gaining confidence and to start becoming, you know, a more empowered version of myself is I joined a gym that was number one. And I'm always going to come back to this and just keep a super real with you guys, because I don't want you to think that I changed my life just in a journal. Yes, journaling changed my fucking life. I'm not saying that. Yes, meditation changed my life. I would not be where I am today if it weren't for journal and meditation and the inner work that I share with you guys here. But I want to share the outer work as well. So important. So When I was 17, I was in that, like, very toxic, kind of emotionally abusive household. I felt super trapped. I felt super controlled. So I was going literally crazy. And I had two choices. I could Stay in victim mode. I could keep self destructing by, you know, having low self worth and engaging in all these, like, negative, toxic relationships with mental health. Or I could join a gym and something within me was like, join the gym and become a bad bitch. Now I joined the gym for insecure reasons, right? I joined the gym. I think I was date, like dating someone kind of at the time, and he treated me really bad. And he was into the gym and I was like, I'm gonna join the gym and become so sexy and then he's gonna regret it. That was my motivation. That was part of my motivation, honestly. But I joined and I finally had a space where I could release all this pent up negative emotion because I never played sports before. I did horse riding up until I was 12, but after that I never played sports. And when I joined the gym when I was 17, I had this outlet for all this rage. My primary emotion at that time was rage because I was so pissed off with everything that had happened to me in my life. And I was so tired of feeling like shit about myself. And I could just channel all of that into lifting. So it was an outlet for my rage. It also gave me a sense of control and empowerment. Like those two hours of the day were mine. I could fully control how I showed up in the gym, what I did for those two hours. So it gave me that. And it started giving me something to cling on to in terms of, like, my identity. Like, I could start seeing progress in. I was getting stronger, I was building consistency, and I started to develop a bit of belief in myself, which really, really was so necessary at that time. So even starting something like that, like that had a butterfly effect for the rest of my life. So I went to the gym, became addicted to that because I finally had something where I could start building some belief and confidence in myself. And that was my first thing. Eventually I ended up doing powerlifting. And when I started that, like, I'm not naturally a strong person. I'm actually very uncoordinated and I'm not genetically strong. But me going into that, I was able to say, let me see if I can generate strength, if I can become one of the best in Ireland just through sheer determination and hard work and the right mindset. And let me be an example for people that are coming in as underdogs or people that are coming in with no, like, base level strength that they can still make it as well. Because when I started powerlifting, this is a bit of a tangent, but I feel like it's going to be relevant. When I started powerlifting, the people who were like at the top in the different weight classes, they, A lot of them came in with strength already, with like a good base level of strength. So they came in off like the back of doing other sports. They were kind of just naturally more strong than other people. They took to it quite quickly and then obviously they put in the work as well. But I felt like I was coming in as a noodle, like a literal noodle. I felt like I was so weak at everything. And every fucking rep was a scrap for me. Like I had to scrap for every single kilo. And I could have let that mean that I was going to be really bad at it, but instead I was like, let me use this as a testimony of the power of will, determination, drive, and just mindset. So I decided, okay, I'm going to be an example for the underdogs. And that was my mindset. And I ended up being one of the strongest people in Ireland in my weight class and hitting numbers that if you told me in the beginning of my gym days that I hit them, I would never have believed you. So that was really pivotal for me in my mindset, like having a tangible thing that I was anchored into that I could see progress in. And I showed myself I could be consistent, I could change my identity, I could progress, I could overcome limits, I could push myself. That was such an integral part of my inner work journey as well. And I. I have to mention these things on YouTube in my videos because there's. It's so important that you find these outlets for yourself physically, that you don't just sit in your house and sing kumbaya and hope for things to come for you. Like, you've got to go out into the world and put things to the test and put yourself on that kind of trajectory of growth and really just push yourself beyond what you think is possible. So for. For me, powerlifting was me showing myself that I could break my own limits physically. Okay, I don't know why I pointed to my head, but physically. So powerlifting was a huge thing for me. And then because I had a bit of resilience and I had some self belief that I gained through powerlifting and through competing. And I showed myself I could completely change identities to become an athlete, which was insane. I never was sporty at all my whole life. I fully transcended that and became an athlete in my identity. I was regimented. I was showing up to training every day. And I also realized at that time the more I focused on how I could show up as an athlete each moment, each day, the better and better I got. So in the beginning of my powerlifting journey, when I was focused on the numbers, like when I first started, I was like, I'm gonna have a 140 kilo squat on my first competition. But I wasn't really showing up as an athlete in my day to day life. Guess what? I didn't get the squat. But when I let go of the numbers completely, I had some in mind, but I let them go completely. And I said, how would the athlete version of me show up today? And I did that every single day. My numbers started flying, I got so strong, it just compounded and compounded and compounded. I slept like an athlete, I ate like an athlete, I was checking in with my coach like an athlete and I was training like a athlete. That's when I grew. So I realized throughout that whole thing that who you are in the process is all that fucking matters. The goal is just a marker of how much you showed up every moment and every day. And the faster the speed at which you land at that goal is going to be determined by how much you can go all in on the choices that you make today that support you moving towards that goal. That's it. That's as simple as it is. So I learned that through powerlifting and then I was able to take that mindset and eventually use it in business. Right? So I left my 9 to 5. I was trying to apply like my 9 to 5 mindset. I was stuck in my old identity. I was looking to kind of stay comfortable. I was looking for the easy routes. And then I realized, no, I need to look at people who made it in business and I need to look at their mindsets and I need to start living by those mindsets and people creating habits, routines and structures just like I did in powerlifting that support me becoming now a business owner. So practically I started living like that. And this is what I mean. You need to change the things you're actually doing every day so that your identity changes so that you really start to feel like, oh shit, I am showing up differently, I am a different person. You. So I went from like kind of half assing, kind of doing things here and there, not really having any structure, not really having like a clear outline of what I was progressing towards in business to setting up KPIs, having dedicated hours for deep work, where I was setting up my landing page, where I was cold calling businesses, having a follow up process like setting up all of these things, setting up ways that I could network and connect with other people. I had to create all of that. And in me creating that stuff, I started seeing myself as a business owner, and that's when I started getting results. That's when I started gaining confidence in that area. So anything is possible to you, so long as you go and set that up for yourself, so long as you go and embody the energy fully. And I always say, embody the energy, embody the energy, but this is what I mean. Change your routines, change what you're doing, change how you're approaching things. Ask yourself the version of me who's a successful athlete, who's a successful business owner, a successful content creator. How are they approaching their days? How are they approaching problems? How are they approaching roadblocks, challenges? How are they approaching everything? What are they doing with their time? And how can I do that right now? So that's going to take you out of a lot of this suffering that you're feeling if you're misaligned with your current life. And it's going to get you right into alignment with the identity that you need to be in to have what you want. So, like, I started getting up at 5am I started having cold showers. I started doing all this stuff because it was building my identity and my resilience and making me believe that I was a business owner. And as soon as I started feeling, oh, I am actually someone who's showing up in business, I am capable, I started getting sales, I started getting results, and I started. Everything started falling into place. So you need to really practically create the energy of what you want in your life right now with the choices that you're making right now. There's one statistic that I find really interesting. It's in the book Think and Grow Rich, and it's about decisions. There is a study that was done on, like, 25,000 people, and it showed that the millionaires of that group, without fail, reached decisions very quickly and were slow to change them. And the people who were struggling financially, without exception, were very, very, very slow to make decisions or didn't make them at all because they were too worried about what other people were thinking or other people's opinions. Okay. And this is something that I used to be so indecisive, and I realized it was because I had decision fatigue. First of all, I was too worried about what other people were saying. Second of all, I wasn't focused enough on what I was creating for myself. And third of all, I Was wasting so much energy on stupid little decisions every single day, like, what am I gonna wear today? What am I gonna eat for lunch? That's a big one. All these little things like, what time am I gonna go to this thing? So one of the biggest, biggest, actually subtle things that helped me change my life was simplifying everything. And I started doing this again this week, and it's just given me so much energy back again. So that's why I want to share it. And it came up for a client today, so I really, really need to share it. When you're moving identities, when you're shifting into a new version of you and you're building momentum towards a goal, you need energy to do that, okay? And you can't be spending energy on pointless little things. You don't realize how much energy is going into you picking your outfit for the day. You don't realize how much energy is going into all these little decisions until it's time for you to make a big decision, and you don't have the energy to make it. So that's why I'm saying simplify your life. I started really narrowing it down to, okay, these are my favorite outfits. I've got like, three. Alex from Mosey talks about this as well, but he wears one outfit every day. But I don't want to do that. So for me, I've got, like, my favorite clothes. Like, I have two or three tops that I like to wear, two or three pants that I like to wear. I've got, like, two gym outfits that are my favorite outfits. That's it. Simple. Leave them out the night before, wake up in the morning, go in terms of food. Food. Like, oh, my God. Thinking about food, trying to decide what to eat. That can alone take up so much of your mental resources and stop you from being able to make decisions. So I literally, thankfully, I was competing in powerlifting and starting my first business at the same time. So I was able to kind of lace these two things together and find a system that really worked for me. I needed to be really regimented with the calories and the macros and everything I was eating. So I just got a meal plan, and I meal prepped. I know it sounds insane, but especially the time when I was still working my 9 to 5 when I was getting up at like 4 or 5am to work on my business and then training after work, I needed my meals prepped. I needed to not think about that. So I kept that going when I left my nine to five, and I. I kept that mindset towards food. And I still have it today. And when I sway away from it, I find my brain gets foggy and I'm like, I'm spending too long making decisions about food. So now I feel my best when I have, like, literally seven things on my grocery list, right? I have the meals that I know I like to eat. I eat them pretty much every day. On the weekend, I might go out, or in the evenings, I might go out for dinner in the evening if something comes up during the week. I have the flexibility now. But when I was building my business, it was the same meals every day. I found the meals that I like. I'd make a fajita bowl, I'd have overnight oats, and then I'd have the same thing usually for dinner every single day. And I was able to batch cook it and eat that every single day. And my focus, my clarity got so much better when I reduced the mental noise that was going towards all this kind of insignificant stuff. You do not have the energy to be worrying about all this shit. You don't have the energy to be feeding into gossip. You don't have the energy to be feeding into drama. You don't have the energy to be feeding into anything that doesn't correspond with your dream reality. The universe needs to see you showing a bit of hustle and building momentum and creating this thing to exist for you. Right now, like wherever you're standing right now, you've got to put take all your energy, all your focus, and just channel it into what you want to embody as much as you can. So that means taking it away from all this other stuff. Like, literally, I was eating mince rice, avocado. Mince rice, avocado, mince rice, avocado. And it might sound boring, but it was honestly so satisfying because I just felt. Felt so clear. It wasn't draining me. It gave me laser focus. I saw it as fuel, and it kept me just focused and in good energy. I had no, like, debate with myself, what am I going to eat today? What do I want? No, this is what I'm eating. Back to work. Okay? So you've got to focus on what you want and stop giving your focus and attention away to things that you don't want. This includes your phone, you guys. I haven't had notifications on since 2022, probably. I do not have any notifications on. If you want to build your dream life, you need your focus and you need your attention, and you need to start crafting your life so that you have that. Okay, so the phone is a big one as well. Like engaging in a conversation when you know you should be in the middle of building something out. You need to prioritize deep work and flow state if you want to start bringing something new into existence, especially a business. So those are some practical things that I started doing. And the last ones I'm going to tell you. The reason I'm bringing this up this week is because I started doing them again this week. Like, I went to the supermarket this week with like five things on my shopping list and I was just, I felt so much peace. I was like, oh, this is just so simple. And I feel so much more energized this week because, like, I don't have this like, discussion with myself. Oh, what am I going to eat? It's there, it's cooked, I know what I'm eating. And the other thing that's going to bring you a lot of peace and clarity and going to support you in being able to just make decisions easily and focus better is have non negotiables every day. Okay, so this is going to be my last point. You want to set non negotiables for your daily routines. So non negotiable. What time you wake up during the week. Non negotiable. What you do first thing in the morning. Like the first thing you do, the first two or three things you do in the morning, you want to know what they are and have them be the exact same every day. That is going to make you so laser sharp and laser focused and it's going to make you build momentum so much easier. Okay, so for me, it's non negotiable. I wake up in the morning, I come downstairs and I meditate and I journal. Non negotiable. It brings you so much peace, it saves you from decision fatigue, it makes your mind sharper. Just know what yours is. Maybe yours is going to the gym, maybe yours is diving straight into work. Just figure out what works best for you and go with that and make it non negotiable and just stick to it. So you want to set your daily non negotiables. First thing in the morning, what's your first thing you do? Non negotiable. What's the time you wake up? Non negotiable. And then whatever else you want to add in that you know you need to do every single day, without fail, do it. The other thing is you want to set non negotiables. When you get into like your tasks and your work and what you're actually building, you, you want to make non negotiables for what you're getting done that day. So I am the worst for having a to do list as long as my arm. Like, I will write out 10,000 things I need to do and get overwhelmed. And I don't like having everything super, super regimented because if I get into flow state, I get into flow state and I'll get loads done. Sometimes I'll get everything done in one day. Sometimes I won't be able to get anything done. But what helps me, I'm very up and down in that. But what helped me so much is just saying, okay, today these are three. Depending on how big the tasks are, these are my three non negotiables. Once those three are done, the rest of the to do list can either get done or not get done. And that's fine. But these three are non negotiable. So until those three are done, I'm not going to go off, you know, hiking, I'm not going to go off and have a swim, I'm not going to go do all this other stuff. I've got to get my three non negotiables done. So. So that's another little tip that I can give you just to help you really focus in on what it is you need to do and start actually getting shit done. Don't overwhelm yourself with a long to do list. Three things, non negotiable. And if you still have energy after those things, amazing, keep going. But if you don't, that's fine so long as you get your three things done. What happens when you bring in these structures? These are masculine energy structures. When you have these routines and these structures that are clear, that are dialed in, that are locked in, you are going to free up so much feminine energy because that is the masculine shell that basically holds the egg of your feminine energy. So when you're showing up for those routines, let's say, okay, you wake up in the morning, you do all of your tasks, you show up for your non negotiables, you're gonna have so much energy in the evening or the afternoon to play and relax. When you have your dinner, it's going to taste better when you go for that walk, that the sun is going to look brighter. Like your pleasure centers in your feminine energy are going to be so much more alive because you've shown up in that masculine energy. So it's really important that you do this stuff and create that support for yourself. And the key thing I'M going to bring it back to is you're allowing yourself to open up space in your life right now for the life that you want. You need to be the one who creates the space for that in your life right now. No matter what's going on in your life, I don't care if you're still working a nine to five, you've got a crazy schedule. If you want to start a business, for example, you've got to be the one to start creating that. You've got to be the one who sits down and puts a dedicated time towards that. You've got to block out, okay, I get up at 5am I work for two hours on my business every day. Even if you don't know what you're going to work on, you need to create the space for it to start existing for you or it's never going to exist. Okay, so there's a YouTuber that I love who talks about this, Dan Ko. And he, I can't remember exactly how he worded it, but he made a video on, you need the first hour of your day building out your vision, or else that vision is not going to have any room to start to exist and grow for you. Like, you've got to be the one to create the space for it in your life. The space is not just going to appear. It's got to be you. You're driving this, okay? So, so realize you've got so many amazing, powerful decisions that you can make right now, and that is where your power is. It's not in worrying about what you can't do. It's in, okay, what are the choices that are available to me and what can I make today that are going to have a butterfly effect into the future? Because every choice you make is a portal. Even if in the beginning, let's say you're starting your business, even if in the beginning you block out an hour a day and all you're doing for that hour is like starting studying people on YouTube or whatever who are in the position that you want to be in. Doesn't matter. You're still creating the space for that. When I started my first business, my first, first business was a dropshipping business. Epic fail. But me sitting down and just allowing myself to try and fail and experiment put me in the energy of, okay, I'm taking this seriously. I'm actually doing something. I needed that to be able to step to the next level where I was like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to try this thing. And I was able to start doing marketing for gyms. I needed to do that to be able to step to the next level where I could do it for clinics. I needed to do that to be able to do what I do now. Right. So every decision you make that stretches you is a portal to your higher self. It has a butterfly effect. And when you step on the step that's in front of you, the next step is going to become clear. But it won't become clear until you step on the step that's right in front of you. You've just got to realize every day is an opportunity to decide again. Every day is an opportunity to empower yourself to make better decisions and to put yourself outside your comfort zone. Even if it's a Saturday. This came up today. I love my client, by the way. If you're watching this, I love you. This is no shade because I had this mindset as well where I was like, okay, I'll start on Monday. No, that's a pattern. Realize that that's a pattern of procrastination and that's a 9 to 5 mindset. Ask yourself the version of you who's a boss, bitch business owner, Is she waiting until Monday? No, she's getting it done now. So use everything that's in front of you as basically a tool to reprogram yourself, to show yourself that you're different. Use everything that's in front of you to respond differently and to show up as this new version of you to break your old patterns. Like, if something happens that normally pisses you off, that normally makes you spiral or feel insecure, look at it differently and say, how can I respond as this new version of me? Everything that's in front of you right now is an opportunity to break your own cycles and to change your life if you just look at it that way. So you do kind of feel like a dog on a lead when you're doing this. Like your old self is going to be like the dog trying to go and sniff the lamppost and you need to be the one holding the lead and going, no, no, come back over here. This is how we're embodying. And you're going to try to sniff the lamppost again. You pull this. The fact you go, no, no, this is how we're embodying. That's how you start creating momentum for a new life. So I did this with myself this week. I sat down and I got so much work done this week. And my kind of. I've been Kind of flowing around through life. To be fair, I've allowed myself a little bit of freedom because I've managed to build a life that enables me to have a lot of freedom. And I want to use that and be grateful for that. Still finding that balance. But it tended a little bit towards the not enough structure, like it was going too far in that direction. So I had to kind of simplify everything again, like I said with the groceries, with everything, Bring it back to the foundations, bring it back to the non negotiables. And I kind of had to retrain myself again into this. And the version of me who like wanted to go to a cafe in the middle of the day, the version of me who wanted to go and do this fun thing at like 2pm she was coming up and she was like, yeah, but you've got the freedom to do it. And I was like, well, no, no. Because I feel my vision for the future and I know the choices that I make right now in this moment are so important and they're going to be a portal either towards or away from that vision. So go back in and finish your non negotiables for the day and you've got to pull yourself back in and sit yourself down and do it and realize it's not fruitless, it's not for nothing. Every time you beat that resistance, that procrastination, that distractedness, every time you beat that, that is a rep. You're becoming more resilient, you're becoming stronger and you are becoming the version of you in your desired reality every single time you do that. And if you're stuck right now, I want you to know the decision that stretches you the most, the decision you're avoiding is the one you need to take. I remember when I first started my first business, I had this idea like, okay, I had a friend who was a gym owner and I was like, I could call him and ask him, can I do his marketing as like my first client and he could pay me commission. I put that off for so long because I was like, he knows that I'm not. This isn't what I do. He knows that I'm new. I was really nervous. I felt really insecure about it. I put it off, I put it off. I put it off one day. And this is like a friend of mine who I was really comfortable with. And if he sees this, he'll laugh because we're literally like really good friends. But I was so nervous, I really didn't want to do it because it put Me in a vulnerable spot where I had to kind of, you know, go into this arena where I really didn't know anything yet. It was really outside my comfort zone. So I just put it off for a long time. And then one day I got fed up, and I realized, this is the choice that's going to bring me to the next level. I have to make it. So it was in that moment that I finally said, fuck it. Let me just ask him that the energy started shifting. So I had my first kind of sales call. But I was lucky enough it was with a friend. And then he was my first client. And that was the exact stepping stone that I needed. But I had to get out of my own way. I had to jump in. Like, I was so nervous on that call with him. I was so scared. But it was what I had to do. So realize, you know, you can be fear. You can be full of fear and still take action. And it's usually the actions that you fear the most that are going to bring you the most growth, that are going to bring you closest to your vision as fast as possible. I had this quote on my phone. I don't know if I can find it. I'll probably remember. If I think about it, I think it was something along the lines of, it's from actually a fiction, a fantasy book that I read. I think it's Serpent in the Wings of Night. If any of you guys read fantasy, you might know it. But it was about, like, these vampires and this girl. And the girl's dad said to her, being fearless is not the same as being ruthless. You can be scared every day, but you never let that stop you. And that was my, like, mantra for this whole period, as well as I had on my wallpaper. Step by step by step by step. So that was my energy when I was in that training ground. And it made me so fucking strong. It made me so resilient. It made me realize how powerful and capable I really was. And no matter what you want right now, you know, all of these things are available to you. You've just got to start showing yourself that you can do things. You're never gonna know how capable you are. You never are gonna know how many beautiful, wonderful things you can create and achieve in this world if you don't just start putting yourself up out there and start falling forward. Guys, I've mentioned this before, but, like, my first video that I recorded, I could not breathe. I had to keep stopping and starting. I felt like I was gonna have a panic attack when I recorded my first YouTube on my phone, and now it feels like breathing. So you need to start scared. You need to start messy. You need to love yourself enough and love your vision enough that you just move forward despite feeling all that fear. I promise you, you'll feel the fear for the first, like, few minutes, and then you'll relax into it, and then it'll never be that scary again. It's so, so worth it. That's all for this video, guys. A bit of a. Bit of a sermon this week, but I hope it helped. I just wanted to share with you some more practical things. Obviously, as you guys know, I meditate every single day. And being tapped into your feminine energy, your spirituality, your vision, your intuition is a superpower. It helps all of this flow. But you need this, like, masculine structure side of it as well in order to really have that yin and yang and to really start building momentum towards what you want. Please remember any experience that you've had. You can rewrite your story. You could become a freaking pilot. You could learn a new language. You can move country. Anything is possible if you just set your mind to it and go all in on it. Okay? I love you. You're capable. You've got this. Thank you so much for tuning in. Happy Sunday. I will see you in the next video.
