Stop Being Your "Self" If You Hate Your Life

If you're looking at your life right now and you're thinking to yourself how awful a certain situation is, you're excessively worrying about something, whether it be your relationship, your career, your finances, your health, whatever it is that you're experiencing right now in your life, I want you to know that whatever you're experiencing only actually exists for you, in front of you. Because it was an energy that you have embodied in the past. And you can decide today to embody a new energy that's going to get you a new outcome in the future. So whatever is before you right now, you have your physical experience. These are the events, circumstances, the happenings, the goings on in your life right now. So if you're having a physical experience of being broke and not being able to make any money, or feeling like you're always going to be broke, you have a scarcity mindset. You have a lot of lack around finances. The more you worry, the more you feed into this with your thoughts, emotions and beliefs, the more you are going to strengthen this experience and continue that into the future. So I want you to think, I want you to really think about this because I want you to be able to break out of this cycle. This physical. I should have done this side first. This physical, where did it come from? It came from your mental. Not calling you mental, by the way. I'm just saying it came from a mental possibility. A thought, a belief, an idea, emotions that existed within you, your identity about who you believe to be you are and what you believe is possible for you to experience in this life. If you've only ever believed it to be possible for you to experience a certain level of income, that, that is very limited, you will have a physical experience of lack. If you've only ever believed that it is difficult to make money, it is difficult to change your situation, you will continue to have a physical experience of lack. Then we. So we think these things, we believe these things, and then these things happen in our life that reflect that back to us. Because we've embodied these energies at one point or another consistently, and it's our dominant beliefs and emotions and identity, then we experience it physically. So whatever you're experiencing right now physically is a result of an energy that you have been embodying the past. And whatever energy you're embodying right now will result in what you experience physically in the future. So whatever you've been thinking consistently and feeling consistently and believing consistently today, yesterday, tomorrow is what's going to give you your experiences in the next Couple of weeks, months, and in the next year. That's all. So rather than you looking at this experience that you're having and this thing that you're so worried about and allowing it to cause the same beliefs to fire, the same thought patterns to fire, we must break the cycle. Because the more you keep gathering evidence mentally, the more you keep taking evidence from the physical and letting it strengthen beliefs that feed that version of event, the more you will stay in this perpetual feedback loop of something that you don't want to experience. It's just going to keep going and going and going. And the only way to break out of it is for you to say, okay, you've got no fucking money. You've got nothing changing, but you're going to change. And so you break this. Oh, wow, that was aggressive. You break this, guys. You break this. What is this? This is the same old shit you've been telling yourself over and over again. When you experience the same thing, you let it reaffirm to you. The same shitty beliefs, the same shitty identity, the same shitty emotions. You let it strengthen that and then you let it feed into manifesting that experience over and over and over again. You must take control of this part. And this part is you've experienced the same experience, but rather than allowing it to mean, yeah, that means there's not enough money in the world. Yeah, that means I'm always going to be poor. Instead, you make it mean, what the hell can I do to feel differently about that? I see that this is happening, but today is a new day and I'm going to decide to feel differently. When you do that and when you say, how can I believe differently? That is when you open up the door to start feeling, acting, believing something new. And then you will begin to experience something new. But until you do that, you will not experience something new. This, this mental energy that you're emitting, that's creating this, is primarily made up of your paradigm, which I've spoken about before. But what you can do to change your paradigm, what you can tangibly do, is to change your identity. Because most, most of what we experience in life is a result of what we think we deserve because of who we think we are. So I really want to hone in on that part today. The character that you're playing at the moment you believe only deserves whatever this result is that you're experiencing, even if you don't like it. That's what you believe to be true about yourself. And so that needs to change in order for the outcome to Change. So if you're making not enough money to pay your bills, you believe that you are only deserving of that experience. You believe you don't have the skills. You believe on some level that you are not the person to experience differently than that. Because if you believed you were the person to experience something more than that, that's what you would experience. And so the key part to all of this is you have to become the version of you, like, fully. And I'm not saying this in a wishy washy way, the last thing you want to do is be wishy washy about this. You must fully look at the physical say, okay, I'm going to decide to change how I show up mentally who I identify as, because that is going to put out a new energy, this energy that created this. First of all, you can say, this energy that created this. It's come and gone, okay? It's in the past. Who I've been up until now, it's created this. And I am deciding to leave that in the past. And from today going forward, I'm going to be a new version of me who's going to embody a new energy and is going to give me a new outcome. It's that fucking easy. It like, it's literally that easy. And I don't know how else to break it down for you. So let's say, for example, we have this physical experience. We'll just keep going with the money one, because it's easy to quantify this physical experience of you are making less than you spend. You can't seem to break past $2,000 a month. You want to make money online. You don't want to just make it from your salary. You want to start a side hustle, something like that. You want more revenue streams. You want to make money maybe doing something that you like instead of doing something that you don't like. But you are stuck here. You feel stuck here and you can't seem to break by it. Why? Ask yourself honestly, do you see yourself as the version of you who deserves to make money from a side hustle, let's say, like selling jewelry online? Okay, no, you probably don't. You've probably actually done nothing or hardly anything to genuinely believe that you are somebody who can have this new physical experience. But rather than thinking about that, you keep just thinking about how bad everything is and how you want things to change. You must shift your focus from all the stuff going on in your life right now and how it's so bad and what that means about you, you must shift your focus from that to becoming the character who has the outcome that you want. Because if you genuinely ask yourself, right, let's say you're like, oh, this is so unfair. I deserve to be making more money. I deserve to make more money. But all you're really doing is stressing about money. And you're not changing into the version of you who maybe can get a promotion, who maybe can actually start this business, actually provide value to some customers, actually show that you have skills, you have dedication, you are a disciplined person who can get up before work and set up a website. You're a disciplined person who can call manufacturers and start designing jewelry. If you don't do any of the stuff that the version of you who has the outcome you want does, why the hell do you think something's going to change? Nothing is going to change. And I want this to be a little bit of like a rough little wake up call because I. I've had this happen so many times in my life. Each time I hit a ceiling or a rut or I get stuck, it's because it's time for me to get so brutally honest about upgrading this version of myself. Because this version of me is keeping me here and I need to become a new version of me in order for me to have access to something else. It's that easy. And it helps as well to set a little bit of an idol for yourself. So I have a role model. If you can set role models in each phase of your life or each area of your life, I should say so. I have a role model for business. I have a role model for fitness. I have a role model for relationships, like people that I am inspired by or who I have been inspired by throughout my life, who've really caused a strong surge of inspiration, motivation, who have shown me something that is really something I love and want to aspire to for my own reasons. They become role models to me. And so whatever little niche area of life they apply to for me, I will say, what would so and so do in this situation? And I'll come back to it and then I'll apply that to myself. Like, what does that look like for me? So, for example, today I had things coming up, I've had ongoing things I need to deal with in my business and things I was doing. And I was like. Someone I really look up to is Leila Hermosi. She's an unbelievably successful businesswoman and she makes loads of incredible content on YouTube and she's just doing stuff that like nobody else is doing in the space. And she's such a good role model for women in business. So I literally watched a couple of her videos, and it was like a slap in the face, the amount of stuff that I was not doing. That I realized, like, if I had a conversation one to one right now with Leila Hormozy, she would laugh at me. She probably wouldn't because she seems like a really genuine, like, helpful person. She probably wouldn't laugh, but she probably would want to laugh because the standards for what she does in business, how she shows up, how she solves problems. I was a million miles away, and as soon as I asked myself, what would Leila Hermosi do? I was like, oh, my God. I had 25 solutions. So this is the thing we create the problems in our lives. This character that you're playing right now and this character that you have played up until this moment in the past, this character has created every problem that you're facing. Because if someone were to come in into your life and climb into your body, so let's say this role model of mine, if they were to take over my life for a couple of days and they were to deal with all the things I was dealing with, they would have them solved in an instant because their character is of the standard that these problems are nothing to them. And so that's who I have to become if I want to solve all these problems and have a different experience. Are you still with me? So the mental. When I say mental, rather than getting really esoteric about it like I do a lot of the times, I want you to literally be so honest with yourself. Who the hell are you when you have what you want? I'm going to do a little exercise with you that I always come back to. But this is. This is the key to everything. And I have been. I've had this reinforced for myself over and over and over again because there's been so many times in my life where there's some outcome that I've wanted and I've really wanted it, and I've really wanted it. And I thought on some level or another, I deserved it. I thought on, like, you know, we can naturally feel actually quite entitled without realizing that we're feeling like that. And so we're kind of looking for evidence, and we're looking like, why don't I have this yet? Why hasn't this been resolved yet? I've done all the work and all of this when actually by the time I Actually get the thing right. Maybe I go through a phase where I'm frustrated. I'm like, where the hell is it? I deserve it. It should be here by now. I've done the work. When I finally let that go, and I go back to working on myself and evolving my character and improving myself when the thing does come in, every single time, I think to myself, if I had gotten this any sooner, I would not have been able for it. We all get the outcomes that we're looking for as soon as we become of the character to actually handle the things that we're asking for, always. So just keep that in mind. That's why I'm saying the character comes first. You will only ever get an experience in life that matches up to your character, to your identity. So start with the identity, and then you will get the outcome. The reason this is such a good exercise to do is because we tend to lie to ourselves and we tend to not want to tell ourselves a story. Can you see that ever so slightly, we tend to not want to tell ourselves a story that's going to put our self that our ego is wrapped up in at risk. So your ego will fight to maintain and protect the version of you that exists right now, even if that version of you is only getting you results that you don't want. And so you may be thinking, yeah, there's probably some things I need to work on, but you may want to sugarcoat how many things actually must go in order for you to be a match to whatever you want to experience. And sometimes this isn't intentional. Sometimes we literally just don't think about it. We don't just logically understand how much self evolution will be needed in order for us to match what we want. But getting to that point where you can be honest about that is a huge first step because you realize, like, this is the work. The work is not fighting in your reality to work harder or save more or any of this stuff. The work is getting really, really clear on the discrepancy between the version of you now who's gotten you the results and the version of you that you've been who's gotten you the results that you have right now and the version of you who you must be to have the results that you want and the things that need to go and the things that need to be added in in order for that to happen. So let's take, for example, We have. Hold on, I need to get another marker. Okay, so we have you. This is you with your desired outcome so let's say you, your desire is to be able to match your 9 to 5 income with a side hustle income so that you can quit your job. Let's say that's your goal, okay? And we just do an exercise, we literally just draw you. This is you, okay? And that would be you matching your monthly income from your nine to five. So if you really think about this and you really look at this, and maybe you think you've done a little bit of work, you've researched maybe some different jewelry designs, you started maybe drawing some designs and you're. You, Maybe you've just like set up an Instagram page, maybe you've bought a domain, maybe you've purchased a website, right? But you haven't gotten into the nitty gritty work of like creating the jewelry, posting on social media, getting word out, contacting maybe influencers who you think would match up with the brand. All of this stuff, all the actual legwork that it takes to start this, you haven't done any of that. So when you look at this honestly and you think about this and you think, what has this person achieved, right? What has the version of you achieved to be making two grand per month? Honestly, honestly ask yourself, what do you have to do in order for this to actually be valuable for people? Why would they buy this off you? And think genuinely about the work that has to go in to be able to get to that point. And then think honestly about the version of you who can, who can do that work? Who are they? That's how you do it. You work back from the results. So you look genuinely, honestly look at the result. Then you look at the genuine amount of work that you think would have to go into that result. And then you look at who you are. Then you look at who your character is, what your skills are, what your habits are, what your identity is, basically, in order to be able to match up to this. That's how you do it. And so you can quickly, like, you'll really quickly see where you've been falling down that's annoying me. Where you've been falling down. Like, you'll quickly see, okay, I haven't. Like, it's usually the big, most painful stuff that conflicts with our current identity that will come up in this that we'll see that we haven't done. So if you think about this, you might see something like, let's say you need to start calling jewelry manufacturers or you need to order certain supplies or something. I don't really know much about making jewelry. So this is kind of a bad analogy, but you need to kind of get like precious stones in or something. And you need to make certain phone calls and it scares you to do that because you don't know if you'll be able to negotiate. You don't know if you gonna know what to do. So you don't even think about doing it. But this version of you, when you look at this honestly, this version of you has already done that. And so what's the characteristic that that version of you has? They are, they have courage, they have confidence, they are decisive, they keep their promises, they are working on the business every day. My writing so bad, I don't even know why I bothered writing that down. But you can slowly start to see, okay, this person who has this result does all of these things. And so that is the identity that I need to become in order to have these things. And you start shifting and making decisions that are going to move you in the direction of your goal. And this is something that you have to focus on because you can focus on 5 million different things and kind of keep this like low priority. So let's say this is your number one goal and your, you're struggling with money and you keep just thinking, oh, well, I'm going to focus on getting in better shape and I'm going to focus on this as well. And I'm going to focus on like 10 other things and I'm going to focus on applying for jobs and I'm going to focus on everything else and maybe I'm going to focus on saving and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, well, what's the main goal? Like, what do you really want? What do you really want? Because you need to prioritize that and then you need to prioritize becoming the version of you who has that over anything else. Because if you're prioritizing 5 million different goals, you're not going to have the same resources, you're not going to have the same energy to actually make anything significant happen. You just start at the top. So start with prioritizing the main thing and then everything else will come into alignment underneath that. So as you do this, you might realize, okay, this person, they prioritize going to the gym at 5am I don't know what this person does. You know what this version of you does? I don't. But they map out their day on a calendar. They block off time for work on the business. They go to the gym consistently every day at 8am or 5am or whatever. As you do this, the rest will fall into place. So you start with what you really, really want, and then you work back on who the hell you are when you have achieved that already. So even though you've just made this and you're like, but I'm at work and I still have the same life and experiences, how the hell can I work on the business every day when I'm working 9 to 5? You find a way, because that's who. This is who you want to be. If you want this result, then this is who you want to be. It's that easy. You are not going to get the result until you become of the identity of the person who has the results. Until you genuinely know and believe in the core of your being that you are the person who has this, who deserves this, you're not going to get it. So you have to start building evidence that you are this person in whatever way. You can start with making space for this 30 minutes before you go to work. Give it an hour before you go to work. Because even though you don't even know what to do at at first, and you don't even know what you're going to be doing for that hour, and you don't know how that's going to make a difference, when you make the space for this, when you make the space for doing and being and embodying the things that this version of you does, is and embodies, you begin to start adopting the mindset of this person, the beliefs of this person, the ideas of this person. But if you don't make the space for that, then you won't allow that to happen for you in your life. You're going to keep having the same beliefs, thoughts, thoughts, emotions, ideas as the version of you right now who has what you have. Make space for the new you to be expressed. Make space for this version of you and then reality will start catching up. To match that, your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, identity will shift to match that. That's how you start to shift it. Get some role models, get some people who have the outcomes that you want. Look at their behaviors, look at their beliefs, look at their attitudes, look at their character. Study them, look at how they show up in their lives, look at how they solve problems and notice what they're doing that you're not doing. Because if they have what you want and you do not have what they what you want, then you would do well to start maybe implementing some of their characteristics. If you believe that if you do those things, you, it will get you what you want. But the main thing I'm trying to say with all of this is stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to yourself. Because yes, it's painful to do this identity shifting work. Yes, you're going yourself is going to try to protect itself from changing. You may have to have like a death of self. You will have to break up with this old version of yourself. You are going to have to probably let go of a lot of aspects of yourself that that feels safe and familiar to you. But just know and do work on this that you're going to feel much safer in this new version of you. Because this version of you looks after your best interests. This version of you is making sure that you are getting what you want. And so it's not unsafe for you to have to let go of this old version of you, because even though it's familiar, it's not what you desire. So it's safe to let that go. And that's the fear, and that's the thing that most people get blocked from even trying to make these changes is that fear of the unknown, that fear of the unfamiliar new territory, letting go of all these behaviors that have kept us feeling so familiar in a certain version of events. Even though it's like suffering and we're not enjoying it, it's known suffering. And so we think it's safe. But nothing is unsafe, safe in this world. We're all going to die. We're all just playing this little human existence game. So it's time to kind of get off the bench and get in the game and stop watching everyone else doing things just because you're scared. There's nothing to be scared of. And as soon as you start doing this and you start letting go of all the that's holding you back, you're going to realize and be like, wow, there is nothing to fear. There is nothing to fear. This is so much better. Because you can't keep hiding from life. You can't keep hiding from the changes that you need to make. Yes, it might seem scary to become this business owner or this person who works for themselves and has to rely on themselves, but it's scarier to actually live a life on the sidelines and live according to someone else's terms. That's much scarier. And no matter what you do in life, you're always going to have challenges and you're always going to have struggles. There's always going to be things that you need to face. But the only thing you can control is whether you run away from Things and you run away from yourself or whether you just face into things. And if you face into things honestly, your pace of evolution is going to be insane. You're going to feel so much more successful, you're going to feel so much more fulfilled, and you're overall gonna stop feeling like you're betraying yourself. You're going to be so much more in control of your reality. The more you lie to yourself about the changes that you need to make and the identity that you need to become, the more you're just going to stay stuck, the more you're just going to stay stuck. So you might be lying to yourself because subconsciously you know it's going to be a lot of work. You might be lying to yourself because subconsciously you're trying to protect yourself from having to let go of everything that's familiar and known to you, because that's scary. But the minute you start being honest at yourself and just facing those fears and doing it anyway is the minute that you just set yourself free. Free. And you start actually being able to control your reality. Because if you keep lying to yourself, you're never actually going to know what you need to change when you make the changes, even though they're going to challenge you and make you uncomfortable. The uncomfortable things in life always result in the most success, the most fulfillment, the most inner joy. We experience this darkness and all these fears so that we can face them, so that we can actually create our fulfillment. And we would not enjoy so much the feeling that comes with transforming ourselves, the feeling that comes with stepping into a more abundant, empowered, creative version of us who has all the things we ever wanted. We wouldn't enjoy that if we hadn't experienced the lack of these things. And so for you to be sitting there so afraid and not acting because of your fears, it goes against the reason that you're here. And the reason that you're here is to face your fears, to find your fulfillment. It's to face into the darkness, to find that you are strong enough to do that and to feel the light and joy that comes with doing that yourself. So it's not about passively sitting there waiting to be saved. It's about look your fears in the eyes and facing the parts of yourself that you fear the most and releasing the parts of you that are holding you back the most, even though you feel really scared of letting them go. That's what we're here for. That's what we're here for. That's how we literally find our own inner Light and our own fulfillment. That's how we tap into God. Energy, fulfillment, joy, abundance, empowerment, all these higher frequency emotions. Not by running from darkness, by facing it. That's how you get off the sidelines in your life. And until you decide to do that and you bring up that inner strength from within, you're always going to just be passive at the whim of all this darkness and all these things happening in your life. And I'm not saying darkness is going to go away, but it's how you react to it that matters. It's who you decide to be in these moments that matters the most. This is why I say it all. Like a lot of my videos, the moment everything changes is the moment that you look at your life and everything is falling to shit and everything has just been falling apart and nothing's changing. And you decide anyway to be a different person, to feel differently, to feel happy regardless of what's happening, to feel like you have it all, even when you don't have anything. To feel like you're a successful person, to be somebody who holds the values that match up to whatever experience you desire, even though the experience isn't here yet. That's when things shift. I'm going to make a separate video about this, but I want to just make this point quickly because it does tie into this. Vulnerability is your best friend as you're doing this right, and this ties into honesty as well. But you really heal and let go of the parts of yourself that limit you most and the things you fear the most. When you can be honest and vulnerable with yourself. And healing, genuine healing, happens when we literally just look at the things that we're most ashamed of. When we express the things that we're scared of the most, when we express the things that we're most fearful of, ashamed of all of these things and we understand them and we make peace with them. That's when we heal them, that's when we release them, when we stop running. There's so much that I could get into with this and that's why it's going to be another video. But vulnerability is such a key because until you actually face the parts of you that are scared and actually understand them, you're not going to know why you act the way that you act. You're not going to know why you find it so hard to change. And. And you may be carrying around certain things that you've done in the past that you're really ashamed of, certain behaviors, certain little betrayals of yourself. But the moment that you start to heal those things is the moment that you admit that to yourself. Maybe you admit it to someone you love and you find out that it's okay, it's fine. Like whatever it is, you can just forgive yourself because it's in the past and it doesn't exist anymore. And that will start sitting setting you free from that past. And that is really how this evolution happens. You honestly look at. Okay, these results that I have right now, I'm not happy with the decisions that I've made in the past that have gotten me these results I'm ashamed of. I haven't even told this person that I did this or I haven't told this person that I did that. But the moment that you really just start to accept that and forgive yourself for that is the moment that you heal that and let it go. So remember me saying that healing happens when you really are just honest and vulnerable and you realize that nobody is perfect, nobody has it all figured out. And I know this video was very like, figure it out, get to work. That's why I want to end on this note. Nobody actually has it all figured out, but this is the work is being honest with yourself, being compassionate with yourself, forgiving yourself, but loving yourself enough to make the changes. This is not an act of self hate. This is a radical act of self love. Embodying the most empowered version of you who has all the things you ever dreamed of is the most self loving thing you will ever, ever do. So make your little stick figure, figure out what that version of you is and start showing up as them today. Let yourself forgive yourself for everything that's happened in the past that may have led you off track. Move on. Realize that today, the energy you embody today and going forward is all that matters. You can leave everything else in the past. What you're experiencing right now is a story of the past and it doesn't have to continue anymore. You can choose differently, you can have differently. You just have to decide. I'm going to leave this video here. I hope it helped and I will see you in the next one.