This is how you stop self-sabotage (for good)

Welcome back to the channel. Okay, we're gonna shed light on something today that I wish somebody told me before I started on my self transformation journey. Because if I had awareness on this a year ago, I would be a million years ahead of where I am right now. But I suppose I had to learn it. Maybe because I was supposed to share it with you guys, I don't know. But anyway, I learned it the hard way. All that matters is I learned it. So here it is. When you ask for something like a big shift in your reality, when you set your sights on changing your identity, changing, you know, your entire reality, basically your career, your relationships, everything, your finances. When you're looking for a big shift of any kind, more than likely, this has been my experience. Maybe you won't experience it, but I know it's mine and other people's experiences, so I won't manifest it for you. But, but I'm going to just warn you in case it happens. What can happen when you ask for a big shift is you will enter a period of resistance. Okay? You're going to enter a time from the moment that you, like, set the intention to make the shift until you actually make the shift. There's going to be this kind of tough period where you're fighting your, your new self is fighting your old self. And this can last a while. And even when you think you've shifted into your new self, something can happen where like, you feel like you've just defaulted into your old patterns and your old, your old ways, your old emotions, your old triggers can come up and you might think, ah, this wasn't supposed to exist in my new reality. I wasn't supposed to feel bad. I shifted. I thought, I shifted identities, I shifted who I was. I shouldn't feel bad. I shouldn't be experiencing this negative emotion or this bad behavior. So that right there, what I just described, that is resistance to your lessons and your path as you're shifting. And I think people want to make a decision, okay, I've shifted, I've changed, it's done. Unfortunately, we have a lot of subconscious wiring that we're going to have to rewire to fully make the shift. And you know, you could have things going on up there, beliefs and things that you're holding on to that really need to be released before you can become who you want to become and have the life that you want to have. So as you're shifting to your new life, you may feel like you are in cycles of self, self sabotage. And I was going insane trying to figure out why I kept sabotaging my progress towards getting my desired vision. And I couldn't like figure out why I kept doing this to myself. And I was like, what is going on? I make some progress and then I fall off. I make some progress and then I fall off. And what's happening is you have fallen off and you've defaulted to old emotional patterns, old behavior patterns from for a reason, because something needed to change. And maybe, maybe there was something pecking at you, something in the back of your mind that you were pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing away and resisting. Because there's no room for negative emotions in my new reality. That's not in my reality. The more you resist, the more it persists. Then you fall into a real bad cycle of falling off, self sabotaging, just giving up on your goals. Whatever it is, it's because you are ignoring the stuff that you need to pay attention to on your journey to shifting into your new reality. When you ask for a shift in your life, you will be set on a path, right? So you're here and your desire is here. And in the middle you've got this path. And on that path is certain little obstacles that you need to overcome in order to access this part, right? And these obstacles are maybe stored emotions, stored traumas, circumstances, people, foods that you're eating. These are all things that you have to acknowledge and release if you want to continue on the path to get to your desire. A A really obvious example that I can't believe took me so long to notice is my diet. So I asked the universe if I could be this new version of me, right? And do you know, I kind of didn't realize how specific I was, but I obviously was quite specific. And I knew in the back of my mind there was a certain way of eating that supported kind of the body that I wanted, how I wanted to feel energetically. But I didn't stop eating the way that I was eating before. I kept eating like the old version of myself and my body started rejecting certain foods. So first I got acne. I always have had acne at times of my life. So I was like, whatever, I might just be stressed. Then I started getting acid reflux, like really bad GI issues. Like it was to the point that I really like the pain of eating those foods was not worth it anymore. And I still resisted because I just didn't want to change my diet. Like I had to completely overhaul my diet. It was too much effort. I didn't see the point. I didn't Want to do it. I kept coming up with excuses. I was like, maybe it's this, maybe it's that. Like, no, it's the food groups that when you eat them, you feel sick. Like there's nothing. That's what it is. I couldn't get my head around how my body just actually was like, you're done, you're done with those. But anyway, I resisted it for probably two months. Yeah, this change that had to happen with my diet. I resisted it for way too long. One day I woke up and I was like, okay, you can't eat that way anymore. Like, you feel awful, you're not enjoying yourself and you can't do it anymore. And as soon as I surrendered to the change that had to happen, my reality shifted, my identity shifted. I felt completely different. I showed up different. That kind of gave me a moment where I was like, you silly, silly girl. What else are you resisting? So the reason we self sabotage is because we want something else to blame for us not getting to our desire, not making progress other than making the painful decision of looking at things that we need to change in our life or emotions that we're not facing inside ourselves. It's easier to sabotage by just being lazy, procrastinating, indulging in bad habits. That's easier because you can say, oh, I did that and then that's why I didn't make progress. And you can ignore the fact that you're ignoring all this other shit that's too painful for you to look at. That's why you sabotage yourself. You want something else to blame other than you just avoiding your emotions or avoiding changing things in your life that you know it's going to be uncomfortable to change. And the thing is, you'll sabotage yourself. You'll come back on the path. You realize, okay, I should have maybe changed this. You make the changes. Yes, it's uncomfortable. You face the emotion or whatever's coming up that's niggling at you. And yes, it's uncomfortable. But once you face it, it's released. And once it's released, you move towards your desire. You start to see an actual shift in your reality. There's a weight off you. And this is, this is the whole freaking thing. You'll move so quickly to anything you desire when you realize this and when you stop hiding from the things that need to be cleared on your path to your desire. So anytime you're on a path of transformation or change, the next time that something negative comes up or a challenge comes up, or there's something that feels really off or unaligned or something you know you need to change. An uncomfortable decision you know you need to make. Do not run from it. These obstacles are here for you to clear them so you can get what you want. I promise you, resisting feels a lot worse than surrendering, even when it's an uncomfortable thing that you have to face. I remember I was in a period of really, really, like, bad anxiety. I was fighting it and fighting it because I was like, I don't get anxiety anymore. This can't be me. Also, I'm, you know, doing way better than I was a few months ago, way more successful, and I'm. I meditate every day now, so I can't be getting anxiety because that wouldn't make sense. So I resisted it. And it got worse. Of course, it got worse and worse and worse until the day that I sat down and I went to a quiet space and I got my pen and paper, and I just went to town in that journal, and I was like, what is this feeling? What actually is it? What am I thinking about? I had that period of anxiety. I had a period where I had to sit down in it, I had to reflect on it, I had to talk about it, I had to write about it. And eventually the realizations that came out of that period once I finally faced the anxiety, propelled me, like, five more levels up. Like, if it weren't for those anxious feelings, if it weren't for all those negative emotions that I was experiencing, I wouldn't have figured out the things that I needed to figure out to get me up the way five next levels and get me progressing way further towards what I wanted to get towards. Those things that I released during that period of anxiety couldn't come with me into the next chapter. And that's why the anxiety was there. It was telling me, look, these things that you're doing, they don't align with you anymore. You can't keep doing them if you want to get over here, so you got to stop. And these things that you're not doing, these things that you're putting off, you can't keep putting them off because you know how shitty you're being to yourself by not doing what you want to be doing, by not living up to your potential. That's basically what was going on on a very broad level. But it's always like, it's always happening for a purpose. When you ask for something, you don't really get to ask for how it's going to come about specifically. And something may come about into your life in a very unexpected way. And as a part of that process, things may be cleared out of your life that you weren't expecting to get cleared up. And the thing is, while this is happening, you won't really know why. And that is what is so tricky, and that's what causes us to resist. You have no idea why things are happening the way that they're happening. You just have to trust. And that's the hardest part. But I can tell you, as somebody who's been through this time and time again, month after month, it always makes sense. Once you go through it, you can always look back on it and be like, oh, that's why it had to happen like this. And if you're having a hard time, like, trusting and like, you know, finding meaning in the things that are happening and how they're even going to help you get towards your goal, you can kind of think back on your life, on times that things were seemingly falling apart. And you can write those out and say, at the time I really felt like it was the end of the world, you know, I would never find love again, whatever it is. But now, now I can see that it's the best thing that ever happened to me. And you can make a little short list of all the times that you couldn't understand why things were happening the way they were, but how it all worked out in your favor in the end, because that's what's happening right now. When things are falling apart, when emotions are coming up, it's all happening for you. The funny thing is you probably figure out why or how it's helping you as soon as, as you stop resisting it. So trying to, trying to hyper analyze something is also a form of resistance. Trying to attach a meaning to something is also a form of resistance. So actually just allowing the thing and watching it and observing it and being like, hello there, this is happening. Okay, wonder why? And just letting it happen, like the emotional thing, letting your emotions be felt, letting your emotions flow through you and come to the surface and not judging them is eventually what gives you an understanding of why they're there. Not jumping on them straight away and trying to over, you know, trying to explain them away is what I'm saying. You want to just let them be there, feel them, let the circumstances unfold, watch them, and then see what awareness comes from that once you stop resisting. This has blown my mind. I don't even know if this, like I'm talking in circles here, but I spent six months, I spent Six months in this self sabotaging cycle, trying to shift into a new version of myself, trying to shift into a new reality and I kept falling back into old habits and I kept wondering, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong wrong with me? Well, actually I was sabotaging myself because that was easier than looking at the stuff that I was resisting in making that shift. So the key is to get really very honest with yourself about what you're pushing away and what you're hiding from, jumping in before you're ready with your decisions, as soon as you feel the call to do it, making the changes, cutting the top, moving country, facing the emotions when they come up, and just surrendering to everything going on, that is what will stop you from self sabotaging. Because when you do that, when you stop running from events, circumstances, emotions that are coming up that are challenging or uncomfortable, when you stop running, you don't need to self sabotage. There's nothing to sabotage. Because when you surrender to whatever's going on, you move through it. And when you move through it, you feel the release of it. You feel the release and you feel the progress. You feel yourself shift and move towards a better version of yourself, towards your desire, which is a really amazing feeling. And it's not a feeling that you want to sabotage. Since getting off my freaking resistance high horse, the progress that I've made, like just mentally and in my life, I genuinely feel so free and happy and empowered this past month, more than I have in my whole life. And it's because I've stopped resisting to the changes that need to happen during the clear out phase. When I'm moving towards my desire, I'm just allowing because I understand that it's happening for me, it's happening. For the change to take place, these things have to be purged. And it's not my business to interfere, it's my business to stay aware. And remember, if you fall off track, like that's fine, you just get back on the track like the track's not going anywhere, it's right there. That's all you have to do. You will not fail. This is the other thing. You will not fail. If you just recommit, you're guaranteed to get there. If you just promise yourself no matter how much you fall off, no matter how much you self sabotage, you're going to recommit. That is the most important thing I have recommitted to this path that I'm on so many times. And now that the shift has finally happened. I can see that. That's all I really had to do, all I had to keep in mind. First of all, stop resisting. Second of all, keep recommitting. That's it. It's not sexy, but that's kind of just it. When you realize that you're standing in resistance to something, right? You've had something uncomfy that you're running from, you've been resisting it. When you realize that and you're like, okay, this is here to tell me something, and you decide to stop resisting, you've now taught your brain how to react when something comes up that's uncomfortable. Comfortable. Okay. You've taught it a new way that it can react to uncomfortable circumstances, to challenges, to uncomfortable emotions. You're now teaching your brain, now that you've made that decision, that we're not going to run, we're not going to resist, we're not going to self sabotage, we're not going to self soothe. We're going to actually just look at it, we're going to acknowledge it, we're going to feel it, and we're going to release it. And the more that you do that, the more you wire in that pattern and the more natural it becomes to do that. And that is when you enter a state of flow. Because you don't naturally have that resistance when something bad comes up. Because the reason that resistance keeps coming up so strong to the point that you probably don't even know that you're doing it. You just know that you're sabotaging yourself for no reason, is because that's your pattern of behavior. That's what you're used to doing. So you're kind of having to retrain yourself a little bit and move your perspective so that you can move through these things that come up really quickly so that you don't end up sabotaging yourself and that you can keep making really, really quick progress towards your desires. The stuff that's going to come up that needs to be cleared is basically the stuff that doesn't align with who you subconsciously believe you need to be in order to have your new life. Yeah, so basically I had a vision of myself in my head subconsciously. Right, right, subconscious. So maybe I didn't actually like write it down and consciously think it, but over the years I've stored up all these ideals about my higher self, you know, how she eats, how she acts, what she does. And as I was asking for bigger and bigger changes in my life, I realized subconsciously that this new reality would require me to become my higher self or better, better, more higher self. I don't think I'm my higher, higher self yet, but a higher version of myself. And so because the shift was so drastic and because I knew I needed to become a very different version of myself, subconsciously, that version did not have a lot of the habits that I had before, did not, you know, think the same that I thought before, and did not store all these old emotions that I had before as I asked for something so big and a shift so big that was followed by a big period of purging. And that's what I think people don't prepare you for, is if you subconsciously think that the person who has what you want is very different to who you are now, then you will have to purge who you are now. And that's what you need to be prepared for. Because the thing is, it's subconscious. So you might not consciously be thinking, okay, the person who has what I want doesn't smoke. Okay? But subconsciously, you know that the highest version of you doesn't smoke. And all of a sudden, you might feel sick from smoking cigarettes, or you might just really feel really bad. Every time you smoke a cigarette, it's because your subconscious is trying to get you to make that shift. Because that's what you're asking for. You're asking to be the version of you who can have the thing that you want. So all this stuff needs to go and needs to be purged. And for me, it's been a can of worms. I've changed my diet. Everything, my diet. I've stopped drinking. I never, ever thought I would stop drinking. I just have, because it just really didn't align anymore. I stopped gardening. I've stopped. I was actually at the beginning of this journey. I was also vaping, so that was the first thing to go vaping. Gardening, that was just giving me anxiety. So obviously didn't align anymore. Drinking alcohol, gone. Eating junk food, gone. It's like I have nothing left except for this really, really higher, more empowered version of myself who can do things that that past version of me couldn't do. So is it worth it? Yes, it is. I'm here to tell you it is worth it. All this purging, all this, like, shit that you need to let go of. I know it's tough, and I know it's hard to get away from what's comfortable, but it's purging for a reason. It's purging so you can become that self who can have the desire that you want. And as someone who's gone through the biggest purging cycle ever and come out the other end, I'm telling you, it's worth it. How I feel right now, it is so worth it. But it took, you know, about five months of just cycles of purging everything to get to this point. And I prolonged the hell out of it because I resisted it every step of the way up until recently. Okay. I hope this brought you some comfort. Please remember, your life's not falling apart. You're just shifting timelines. You're just clearing out the junk so you can have what you want. So it's fine. Let go of the resistance, let go of the need to control, and just enjoy the ride. I hope this video helped, and I will see you in the next one.