In this motivational video, the presenter explains how to help a loved one adopt healthier habits and lose weight without resorting to shaming, guilt, or bossing them around. The core message is that change starts with the helper: you must live the lifestyle you want them to emulate—maintaining good nutrition, regular workouts, and making healthy choices in social settings. The speaker argues that shaming or pressuring people backfires because change is inherently scary and people become defensive. Instead, unconditional love, support, and patience are essential. He introduces the Transtheoretical Model of Behavior Change, outlining stages from pre‑contemplation to action, and stresses that you must respect where the person is on this continuum. When they are ready, they will seek practical guidance, so the helper should transparently share behind‑the‑scenes details of meal prep, workout routines, and planning to reduce the unknowns that cause fear. The video emphasizes that you should continue your own healthy habits, offer help when asked, and accept that each individual’s timeline may vary from months to years. The overall takeaway is that leading by example, providing consistent emotional support, and demystifying the process are the most effective ways to help loved ones change.
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If you're struggling to get somebody you love and care about to lose weight, get healthy, and change their life, and all that you want is for them to change, don't worry, because in this video we're going to talk exactly about what you need to do to help them change. And the first part we're going to talk about is something that might make you a little bit pissed off, but it's not them, it's you. And here's what I mean: them changing starts With you. You need to live the lifestyle that you want them to live. You need to have your nutrition in check. You need to do your workouts. You need to go out to eat and set a good example for them. And you might be like, Eric, I do all those things and I'm in great shape. You might be, but could you do better? Could you set a better example with the alcohol that you drink? Could you set a better example of when you go out to eat, you're maybe helping them order the healthier options, or maybe you're encouraging them and maybe you are picking restaurants that can maybe help them stick to their diet a bit better? Are you asking them and involving them not in a condescending way, which we'll talk about later in the video, but are you inviting them onto your walks or into your workouts or those sorts of things? Because let me assure you of something. If you are living the life that you truly believe they should be living, and if you are living up to a certain standard, trust me when I say Nobody wants to be fat, out of shape, unhealthy, depressed, not satisfied, upset. Nobody wants that, okay? So if they see you living a life that they want to live and you feel great and you're in great shape and you have good energy and you have good self-confidence, trust me when I say they are going to want that too. Now, it might take them a little bit, which we will talk about a bit later in this YouTube video, But you need— it all starts with you. You are the one who sets the standard for other people to follow in the situation. Whether it's your kids, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your coworkers, your employees, your neighbors. Whoever it is, you have to take on the responsibility and look at yourself in the mirror and say, are you doing everything that you can to live up to the standard you want other people to live to? Because not only is it going to inspire them to want to have the same eventually. It's also gonna help you do what we're gonna talk about next. When you can truly say you're doing what you need to do, then we're gonna talk about what doesn't work. And the first thing that is just simply not gonna work that so many people try to do in some iteration is shaming somebody into trying to change. It is never, let me repeat myself, it is never going to work. You're not gonna shame somebody somebody into change. Even if there is some short-term action from shaming somebody, it's never going to last because we as humans, we're going to be defiant. If you're always telling your spouse that you should eat healthier and you should go work out and do this and do that, you know, you should do this for me or for your kids. Every single time that is going to backfire. Again, even if it creates some like short-term, I'll just do this to Make him or her shut up or, you know, to appease them or whatever it is, the long-term change is never going to go there because they're going to be defiant. And when you start to make somebody, you know, again, here's the other part of what you should never do. Not only should you not shame them, you should not guilt them into trying to change because again, that's not going to work. You shouldn't try to boss them around. All of these things are iterations of what most people try to do to get the people that they love and care about To change. It makes the person who is trying to change feel much more unsafe. And when you actually think about what it takes for somebody to change, let's be honest, you and me, everybody can agree to this— change is scary. Change is very scary. It's hard enough as it is. For you to put this shame on them, or for you to make them feel bad or feel guilty, or for you to try to tell them what to do, You're just digging yourself and you're digging them a deeper hole. You're not helping yourself. You're not helping them. You're not helping anybody by taking this negative approach. What does work and what is going to work is taking a much different approach than what most people normally take, which is simply just letting them know you love them, you care about them, and you support them no matter what. You will always be here to help them no matter what, because there is something called the Tranz-Theoretical Model of Behavior Change. Without getting too in-depth, you can go ahead and Google it if you'd like to, but essentially there are different stages of people making a change in their journey. The first stage is they're just completely unaware that they need to make a change at all, or they just won't accept that they need to make a change at all. The second stage is going to be they're at least aware of it, but they're not ready to take any sort of action on it yet. the next step where, you know, they're kind of looking at things, they're kind of researching things, looking at it, and then comes the next step when they're ready to actually, you know, take action on that change. If somebody's not in the space to be able to take action yet, and again, you're trying to force them to, you're trying to shame them, you're trying to guilt them, it's only going to move them much farther this way on this, on the stage, on the step process, as opposed to trying to move them along the process, the, the stages process. And this was something for me personally was very hard to understand as a coach because just understanding that, like, I wanted to try to fix everybody now. And that's probably how you feel too. Like, you want it to happen now, you want it to happen in a month. Why don't they see it? Why aren't they doing the things? And I get it. It was very hard for me as a coach to understand this as well because I just want to help people. I just want to help them change and be happier and healthier and all these things. But some people just aren't quite there yet. And so what you have to do is what we talked about earlier. You need to keep doing what you are doing in your life to live the standard and then simply let them know you love them no matter what, you care about them no matter what, you support them no matter what, you'll always be here to help them no matter what. Whenever they're ready, if they have a question, if they have a concern, if they want to join you in a walk or in a workout or in meal prep session, that you're there. Because you would be so surprised at how much that actually does for a person. You'd be shocked at how much just you simply telling somebody, hey, I love you no matter what. I'm always going to support you. I'm going to do what I do. I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, do my workouts and I'm going to live this lifestyle. If you ever want to be a part of it, if you ever want to come along, if you ever want help, I'm always here as a friend, as somebody who loves you, as your partner, spouse, family. Whoever it is, you can always come to me because here's what's going to happen as they move along this stages process of the transtheoretical model of behavior change. They're going to get to that stage where maybe asking you more questions. Hey, what do you do when you go to the gym? How much does your gym membership cost? How much time do you spend there? What do you do for your meal prep? How do you get more protein? They're going to start asking these questions to you. You know why? Because you were the one who told them no matter what, you love them, you care about them, and you support them. You are also the one that they see and they know they're living— you're living a healthy lifestyle. They know that you get your workouts in. They know you feel great. They know that, you know, you want to help them. You're getting your meals in. You're that person. And so when they are ready to move along this, you're going to be that person they go to as opposed to If you're trying to shove it down their throat and you're trying to make them do it, you are not going to be that person that they go to. You'll probably be the last person and they'll do things just to spite you not being right or you not winning an argument. We all know how human beings work. And so you need to accept the fact that they're not going to change as fast as you want to. Again, change is hard and it takes a lot of mental energy, a lot of mental effort, It also takes a lot of sacrifice on their end. And you know, you just have to help them move along these stages and be there for them and support them no matter what. And guess what? Sometimes there are going to be some people that, you know, it might take 6 months, it might take 2 years, it might take 10, 20, 30, 40 years for them to do what they need to do. And again, you can do as much as you can. You can pour as much as you can into them. But sometimes you just have to accept the fact that you're going to do what you need to do. You're going to do your workouts, you're going to live the lifestyle. And again, you support them, you love them, encourage them, but you have to do what you do no matter what. And that's very hard sometimes for people to understand. But remember, you are your own individual person. Okay? You need to do what's best for you and your life and you as the individual. Yes. Your friends, your spouse, your family, coworkers, whoever it is, You want them to come along the process, but remember, this video is about them, but also remember you. You got to keep doing what you know you need to do no matter who else is on your journey or not on your journey. And I'll say is this, the way I like to sometimes tell people, you know, trying to get somebody to change, imagine that the person you want to change, again, your spouse, let's just use your spouse, you want your spouse to change. Right now, when they think about changing, it's like they're at the edge of this land, and right here is this fucking massive rapid, whitewater raft type shit, where the water is just flowing so fast, and they're like, if I go in there, I could die, I could drown, I'm not gonna be able to get back out. It's just scary for them to take that first step. And so what I tell people a lot of times is just, As much as you can, show the behind the scenes of the process. Like, okay, cool. You're, you're, you have abs and you have muscles, but like, hey, what does it look like when you go into the gym? Maybe show them some technique videos, explain to them how long it takes, explain to them, you know, this is how I plan my week out in order to get my workouts in. That's great. You've lost 100 pounds. How did you lose 100 pounds? Talk them and show them through the process of, hey, every single Sunday, this is what I do. And you know, this is the behind the scenes of how I've been able to see this progress. The more you can show people just the step by step by step, the more it takes away the unknown. Because again, when you're talking about change, there is a lot of unknowns. It's a lot of scariness. People just, it's already, you know, they're going crazy in their heads. The more you can show them, the less unknown there will be for them. The less unknown there is, the more likely they are to take action on that change. I hope this video helped. If it did, feel free to like, subscribe, and comment below your experience with trying to get a loved one or someone you care about to change.
