The 90 Day Fertility WIndow: Why What You Do Know Matters MORE Than What You Already Tried

Hi, welcome to The 90-Day Fertility Window: Why What You Do in the Next 90 Days Matters More Than What You've Tried Before. As you can already see, I'm not a super polished speaker, and as much as I would like to be, just know that I'm looking at my notes so that I make sure that the talking points that I have made for today that I can, I can say them. I normally have about 42 tabs open in my brain at any given time. So, um, it's just to help me focus. So speaking of focusing, for women with fertility often get a hyperfocus on the next 30-day window, the next cycle, the next transfer, the next 2-week wait, um, things like basal body temperature and ovulation and all of those things. And while they're not wrong, a lot of women are not told that fertility doesn't operate on a 30-day window. It operates on a 90-day window because that's how long it takes your eggs to mature. So, um, short-term thinking hurts you because it gives you that tunnel vision, right? Um, it gives you this sense of urgency. It's like, oh, If you get your cycle again, then it's another cycle and it's just that cycle, right? This is the cycle that is going to be the one that I conceive. And it gives you this sense of urgency, this sense of panic inside without any clarity, right? So you make a change, maybe sometimes you add a supplement or you restrict your diet or you add this, you do that or whatever. And then you wait and then it doesn't work, but you don't have any clarity about it, and then your hope crashes out because you're frustrated. And so that's a lot of times where the self-blame, guilt creeps in, and it's really hard psychologically to keep going because we're hyper-focusing. Now I have a hair on my lip. We're hyper-focusing— that one's attached— on the, the 30-day window instead of a 90-day cycle where we can rest and take time to make the changes that are really going to matter the most. So, um, when you make those changes, your body is not failing. It's— you're conditioning it to regulate your hormones and your nervous system. So fertility is not cumulative, and consistency matters way more than intensity. And that's what we get by focusing on that 30-day window. We get month after month of a burst of intensity. So what is happening in the 90 days prior to you— your eggs maturing for that month? So they're influenced by things like, um, stress hormones, inflammation, um, blood sugar, nutrition and nutrient absorption, um, also thyroid and metabolism. So one perfect month rarely changes anybody's outcome, and it's hard without a plan to go more than a month because it's all that frustration builds up like we talked about before. So January matters, and the, the new year matters because it's a, it's a quiet time, right? And a lot of people are focusing on restarts, um, and you get that swell of collective enthusiasm, right? But in general, it's just there's a lot less urgency in January. It's a quieter time of the year, and it's a space for you to be able to build, um, foundations. So it's also a time, you know, for you to be able to plan out for your, your next IVF cycle. And, um, the word I'm trying to find is upstream, right? So plan for your IVF, your next IVF cycle or retrieval upstream. Um, it's very strategic. For January. Um, and we know that biologically there's something to be said about, um, spring conceptions because the, the most popular birth month is September. So something in us is innately also, um, more receptive at this time of the year. So the cost of waiting Often women with infertility are told to wait. Your doctor tells you wait 6 months, wait a year, right? But the cost of, um, the cost of waiting with no clarity, it feels safe, but sorry, I couldn't see it. Couldn't see it. Um, it feels safe, but you have a lot of risk then, um, because you're waiting, but you don't have a plan. And so then that starts to, to snowball when month after month you're getting your cycle and you're not pregnant, um, because you don't have a plan. And then, um, all this self-doubt and anxiety creeps into the process, right? So whether it's waiting like that, that 6-month or a year wait that the doctors recommend, or whether it is repeating the same protocol without any regard for adjustments or any insight into personalize that protocol for you, that also starts slowly eroding your confidence that this is ever going to work for you, right? And you lose valuable time, um, when you don't have a plan in gathering information that could guide you with making better decisions for your next natural cycle, your next IVF cycle. So, um, you end up being stuck in hope mode instead of a data mode where you can be collecting feedback on the things that you're doing to improve your egg quality for that cycle. It also produces a lot of nervous system fatigue, and that's what I was mentioning before, um, from the endless anticipation and disappointments of cycle after cycle. Being unsuccessful. So, and that burns you out emotionally, basically. So I always tell my clients, if you can't cope, you can't continue, because that is one of the, the most fundamental key areas you have to be able to navigate this process with some systems in place to to regulate your nervous system, track data, and understand that what you're building on a timeline is going to be effective, right? So what I tell women is to stop chasing the hacks, because the hacks, whether it's supplements, whether it's whatever the latest fad is in that arena— matcha tea was super popular. And not all— not that those things are not helpful, but having consistent, um, a consistent plan for a specified amount of time is going to do more good than chasing those hacks and changing, changing, changing before you can really see if anything is being effective, right? Um, so observing patterns, advocating for testing, which is— I talk about so much on my channel here and in my social media. There's so much overlooked testing. Clients come to me utterly emotionally frustrated and exhausted, um, and then they still have all this overlooked testing. They haven't even been given the big picture. And that's not the fault of the client. That's not the fault of the women. It's also not the fault of the doctors because really the medical system is not set up to address things like nutrition, address things like nervous system regulation or coping skills, you know, for this infertility journey. Um, and I also see a lot of women who are being really restrictive with their diets. Um, and they're not getting the nourishment that they need. They're not getting enough protein. They're not getting enough antioxidants. And they're taking supplements that are actually harming the process more than helping it with synthetic supplements and things like that. That's a whole nother conversation. But perfection is not the goal. Having a perfect month is not the goal. Intensity is not the goal. The goal is, is to have a plan and execute that plan over the course of time so that your nervous system can regulate, your hormones can regulate, and your body feels safe, and you can relax into knowing that what you're doing is going to be effective. So this is the difference between guessing and being ready and prepared. So you're not behind and you're not broken, and nothing that you're doing or have done is wasted. It's all leading up to pointing you in the direction and taking you on this journey for your best, healthiest self to be able to conceive. So the next 90 days do matter, and if you need help navigating them, that's what I'm here for.