UB40 - Dance With the Devil (Full Movie)

And over to Asquith for the commentary. They're now racing on the far side, approaching the far turn with 3 left to jump. And Nimble Nimmo leads at this stage. He's only just clear of Not Normal Norman. 2 lengths then to Mickey's Marble. Man Cool Alfie is closer. They're racing now down toward the third from home. Nimble Nemo comes in to take it. He's made a mistake, he's gone! Fallen there, Nimble Nemo. Mickey's Marble's been left in front. Sloane Ranger jumped well to go second. Right behind these is Not Normal Norman. Oh no! Brown Ale slowed down. Piggy Buster and Carly Carly are all in touch. Racing now down toward the second from home. Not Normal Norman is coming under pressure and tiring. So over the second from home, Mickey's Marble jumps that in the lead from Slow Down. Piggy Buster jump well there to go third. Sloane Ranger close up in fourth. Not Normal Norman made a mistake and has fallen second from home. Brown Airey's under pressure behind these, he looks beaten. They're now racing down toward the final fence. Mickey's Marble in the lead from Slow Down. Piggy Buster now coming there strongly to challenge. Over the last and the three land in line. Now into the final furlong. Mickey's Marble and Piggy Buster go on together. These two start to draw away from Slow Down and Man Cool Alfie, who dispute third, but now racing into the final 100 yards. And it's Mickey's Marble and Piggy Buster.

Piggy!

Piggy! One!

One!

Go on!

Go on!

Piggy Buster and Mickey's Marble. Mickey's Marble and Piggy Buster. Piggy Buster, Mickey's Marble have gone past together. We'll wait. The judges called for a photograph. It's a photo finish between number 10, Piggy Buster, and number 14, Mickey's Marble. Photo finish between Piggy Buster and Mickey's Marble.

Don't forget the bins.

The Ascot results. It's number 14, Mickey's Marble, the winner.

Second is number 10, Piggy Buster. Shut up, I've told you. Mum, the glue's kicking me again. Get out, little grasshopper. I can't run. Mummy's big fat face just robbed me Christmas! Shut up! I mean it, stop moaning! But, Blair! Shut it!

Look at me, a grown man eating a packet of crisps for me lunch. I've done all me dough to that crook Neil Gray. I owe Big Jimmy 45 quid still. If I don't give her that 30 quid, she's gonna do a nut, of course. Wonder what's for tea. Fish fingers, I suppose. I'll turn into a fucking fish finger one of these days. That's a nice ass. Lucky bloke. I wish I had a bleeding ass. I suppose I could tap through for 20 quid till Majaro comes. Nah, she's too tight. She's cute.

Suppose I could shimmy up the drainpipe and through the bedroom window.

Nah, nah. No, I couldn't take that. Somebody's icing it. Wonder if the lads are going down to football Saturday. I won't take them Chelsea fans to the bar, me, and I think I'll give that a miss. Perhaps I should pop round to old Lydie's, see how she is. I haven't seen her for months. No, no, I can't, can I? I still owe Dad that money from when he paid off me fine. This packet of crisps is lasting a long time. It's ridiculous. A man with more brains surely can work out some sort of scam. Turn to God. He's always there when you need him. That's what I'll do. I'll tell him to go to bed. There you go, sir. 40 quid already. Well, it's not really stealing, is it? I mean, a priest's got to have more than one dog collar and suit, and I am helping to spread the word, you know what I mean? Nice houses around here. They've got a right few quid. Oh, here we go. Let's see if my Irish accent has improved.

Oh, excuse me, Father. I was just doing the hoovering.

Father O'Hara always said back in the old country, there's no rest for the wicked. But I'm here to give you a chance to redeem yourself. I'm doing the Lord's work with some mission to raise funds to send the poor, unfortunate of this world to Lourdes. So God willing, they'll be cured and be able to take their proper place in society.

Yes, I do agree.

Sherry, you'd be making a donation.

Um, well, yes, of course.

Like, £10 is the normal figure. That's what people normally give me. But, um, your neighbor, lovely woman, next-door neighbor, she gave me £20. Uh, insisted. She insisted.

Yes, of course. Excuse me.

It's right. I'm gonna be rich. God bless you. God bless you. Look after yourself, all right? I tell you what, this is the best job I've ever had. 160 quid for The free heifers work. Impressive, runs a right good number.

Ow!

What's this? Spots at my age? It's impossible. Far too cute to get spots. Better check this out. Wow, look at that size!

What?

Thanks a lot, lads. Oops, I'm 2 hours late. I wonder if she's still waiting. Wonder if she normally does. Oh no, I'll tell him my grandmother's sick. Oh, there she is.

All right, compose yourself.

Straight neck. Jacket for extra cruciality. That's it. Spondicious.

Where have you been?

Listen, I'm sorry.

You're waiting there for 2 hours.

You won't get your ass home right.

I didn't mean to be so late, it's just that I got talking. I had a drink with a couple of mates, missed my bus, and wound up walking. I tried to call and let you know, it's busy and I couldn't get through. I didn't want to let you down, I know how much it hurts you. I would do for you all you'd have me do. All you have to do is ask me to. All you have to do is tell me when.

Cut, cut.

We changed for the bus.

You serious? I'm trying to make you feel good. There's lights everywhere. So, uh, back to the top of the Sac Soleil. Bye, guys.

You must have slipped my mind. I'll try and make it up to you. Let's leave the past behind. I promise that I'll do my best to mend my wicked ways. Don't believe the things you hear or listen to what they say. I would do for you all you'd have me do. All you have to do is ask me to. All you have to do is tell me when, and I'll come running back again. If there's something wrong, then let me know. The butterflies inside your pretty eyes can melt my heart. Is that music and hype? Just try and give me one more chance, set the record straight. Meet me here tomorrow night, I promise I won't be late. I would do for you all you'd have me do. All you have to do is ask me to. All you have to do is tell me when, and I'll come running back again. I would do for you all you'd have me do. All you had to do is ask me to. All you had to do is tell me when. Enough converting Becky G. I would do for you all you'd have me do. All you have to do is ask me I can't believe I've waited for 2 hours for you.

Look at the state of it. You've got horrible spots on your head. I don't like that suit much. It's probably too late to go anywhere now anyway. No doubt you've got no money. Have you got my 30 quid?

You're gonna believe this either. Me gran's ill and I've gotta go and visit her tonight.

I don't know.

So, uh, I'll meet you here tomorrow.

Right.

Meet you back here tomorrow. Right? What a genius, eh? I should have been an actor, I should have. Doesn't that be a bit— the audible spots there. I'll have to do something about this. Ah, is that all day? Here we go. Thanks, mate. Hey, I say, it's not my hat! I say that! Excuse me, sir!

Excuse me, sir.

This is easy. It's too easy. God bless you, Mrs. Neil. God bless you.

Oh, it's your two mates. I wonder what they want.

Who?

Astro and Norman.

Shit, I'm not here. I'm not in one.

Don't be so stupid, you never get out. Oh, come on in, Lance. He's inside. Do you want a coffee?

No, no, we're gonna stay in a minute. All right, how you doing?

All right, just saying, Dad. What's happening then?

Just decided to come out and take you out for a walk.

Oh, cheers, brilliant.

And a few pints.

Come on, it's a nice day, let's go.

Watch the stuff, bro, we're going up some steps.

There you go.

Oh boy, here's a sick joke for you. What you call a deer without an eye?

I don't know, man. I don't know. No idea. What do you expect? Yeah, I'm crap at feeling good. Just go across the road to the bookies. Yeah, sure, you'll be all right. Yeah, safe.

Okay, you'll be cool.

No problem.

No problem at all.

Same.

No problem. I'll just duck in here to count this money. Please can't be seen with this kind of bread, can he? All right, good day I've had today. Now the world's full of very generous people, you know.

So you want one, you want one, he wants one, and you want it all.

Sorry?

Yeah, you've got to speak up because if you don't ask—

Yeah, what's going on in there?

Now this boy some nice gear, but take it easy, you know what I mean? I mean, we don't want you getting sick, do we? No, seriously, just be dead careful when you do this stuff. If you get caught, you've never seen me, right?

Right?

Yeah, it's no sweat. Just don't worry about us.

Don't worry about us, he says. Well, the thing is, I'm a little bit worried because I haven't had me money yet, have I?

Right, don't move. You're surrounded by police officers. Stay exactly where you are.

Now that it's his daily beat, he's not so sure.

'Cause he's gone too deep in on his G-rated game.

And he'll sell you his best friend so he can score.

So he can score.

Boys and girls, come out to play. The Junkman's on the streets to say, you make your dreams feel real today and steal your mama's ass tomorrow. Boys and girls, come out to play. The jumpman's on the streets to say, make your dreams be real today. The city of my life is tomorrow.

And it doesn't get to me, not a day today. I'm one star in that cookie and it's become a daily thing. Now his girlfriend's turning shoes to fit his robe.

Boys and girls, come out to play. Your friends on the streets to say.

We'll make our dreams real here today.

You steal your mind and use tomorrow. Boys and girls, come out to play. The Junkman's on the street today.

We'll make your dreams feel real today.

We'll steal your mind and use it tomorrow. Boys and girls, come out to play. The Junkman's on the street today.

We'll make your dreams feel real today.

4 ounces of the gear, right? Give him 3, but make him pay for 4. Yeah, I mean, the joke is he don't know the difference between 3 and 4 anyway, do you know what I mean? So what we're looking at is ripping him off for roughly— he pays £400 for it.

Are you not well, son?

Piss off.

Sure, that's no way to talk to a man of the cloth, is it?

Wanker.

No, mate, you got me mixed up with somebody who cares.

I don't want to see you around here again, right? Shithead. Get him off me! Get him off me!

You all right, Brian?

Yeah, you all right? Sure? Yeah, man, you cool?

Yeah, yeah, man.

I think somebody dropped something on the floor, you know.

Nah, I think he's mistaken.

Come on, I'll take up the road, buy you a drink.

Yeah, that's it.

I agree with you, Father. I think the church has such an important part to play in society.

Come on, hurry up, get your money out. You're wrinkling our bag.

Troubled times.

Uh, she's only got 50 pence. Here, here you go. God bless you, God bless you, miss. Oh, oh, but Father, this state's having a funny effect on me. I'm giving money away now. Still 20 grand. So many more riches, you know. What a wonderful life, eh? This is more like it. Hello.

Oh, hello.

What we got here then?

You're You're a fine figure of a man, aren't you, sir?

How you doing?

All right?

Leave it out, Campbell. Who you trying to kid?

Do I know you at all? Do I know you?

Like I said, leave it out. I don't know what scam you're on, but I want my money now.

Only joking, Jim. Only joking. 25 quid, innit?

45, and I'll take that as well. Interest. Just let's say the rest and make me forget I've seen you.

Oh, come on, Jim. Jimmy, come on, Jim. Can you believe it, eh? Loaded one minute, skint the next. Farlands. 70 quid for a pair of shoes. It's expensive, innit? Ah, now that's it. Charity Night, United the Alley Fund.

Hello, who are you?

Hello, my son. I was wondering if I could possibly have a couple of minutes of your time.

Yeah, yeah, I suppose so. I'll let you—

Oh, look at the state of these. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. You should have seen the bristles on this bird. The biggest pair I've seen.

Come on, come on, let's show a little bit of respect for the club. Come on, Father, what is it you want? It's quiet, boys. I think you're a little bit too late.

Well, not quite, no, but you know it's never too late to do the Lord's work, is it? I'll get straight to the point. I just want some money. He's just after our dough. You got no chance here, mate.

All right, all right, let him have his say. Go on, Father.

My name's Father O'Connor from the Church of the Holy Sacrament, and I'm on a mission to raise funds to help poor little children who are born with afflictions and bad health. It almost makes me cry to think of those children waking up on Christmas wake up in the morning with no gifts, no presents, or even when they watch other children going off on their vacations with their own parents, and there isn't a soul in the world to look after these lads, these children. So, gentlemen, I was wondering if you could find it within your hearts to help me raise the almost impossible sum of £1,000. It will enable me to take these children for the very first time in their lives to see sight. Yeah, we'll help you. We'll let you know if there's more. Yeah, we'll do a charity night.

The money we raise, we'll give to the— we'll give to the kids as their father.

Yeah, no problem. That's grand, that's grand. I knew you were fine fellas underneath it all. Well, I'm off now, and I'll be back next week big. So remember, it's the Lord's work you're doing. Now, God bless you. God bless you. God bless you, Father, too. You know, I don't feel like playing snooker anymore. What's happening to me?

Your father. Leave it at that.

Hello, you got no chance to do this.

Come on, you're getting up, Hogwarts. Just look at the sky. Do you know what you look like? A bloody—

Shut up!

Now get up! This place stinks of booze.

Give me a break, you screaming old banshee. Look at her, back home at the elephant's house. Babe, do us a favor, turn that radio off, will ya? My head's killing me.

No, leave it alone, I want to listen to it.

Can't remember the last time you took me out or bought me any clothes. Get up, you lazy piece of shit!

I just wanna know where the ending began. Where did I go wrong to make it like this?

No warmth in your body, no touch in your kiss.

Holding you now feels more than it should.

If I let you go, girl, you'll be gone for good.

I thought you would save me, the love that you gave me. The sweetest loving in all of the land.

But you've taken my heart and you've torn it apart.

And it's crumbled to dust in the palm of your hand. Where did I go wrong to make it like this?

No warmth in your body, no touch in your gaze.

Holding you now feels more than it should.

If I let you go, girl, You'll be gone for good.

There's nothing worth seeing.

I know you're not staying.

My days are facing inside of my head. No point in pretending, I know that it's in. I just wanna know where the ending began. Where did I go wrong to make you like this?

No warmth in your body, no touch in your kiss.

Who do you love? 'Cause more than it shows, if I let you go, girl, You'll be gone for good without the right to make it like this.

No warmth in your body, no touch in your kiss.

Oh, Dina, there's more than it shows.

If I let you go, girl, you'll be gone for good without the right to make it like this. No warmth in your body, no touch in your kiss.

Right, thanks, lad.

That's it.

Next time I see them, I'm going to fix them. Hello, how you doing?

If you've come for money, I haven't got any. What's with the hat? You look ridiculous.

I've come to visit you.

She's hurt you again, I can tell. Oh, I know that look so well. Don't be shy, we've been here before. Put your shoes right down and now unlock the door. To say you love me, breakfast to bed. Love can make you sing. What's your hurry? Please don't hit and run. Weekend letter. Wait, my darling, it's been so long since you've been here. I've returned again. Darling, it will be like it's always been before. Breakfast in bed, kisses for me. You don't have to say you love me. Breakfast in bed, love can make you sing. Hang on, baby. Breakfast in bed, kisses for me.

We'll take the hat off too.

Yeah, look at this.

Nice big ass E-type Jag in the drive. These are going to be good for at least 20 quid. Well, come on then. Good morning sir! I was wondering if I could have— Jala jaa chalaa jaan! Mayur Krishna ki naam chaataa! Chala jaa chalaa jaan! Merry Christmas to you all! Goodbye Phir Kaabi Bappa saanaa! Oh oh... God bless you now! Bye-bye! Bye Phir Kaabi Bappa saanaa!

Jala jaa!

It always works; never fails to get rid of him.

Oh yes, now she is nice.

Excuse me.

Hello, my name's Father O'Connor, the Church of the Holy Sacrament. Yeah, you look like a lady who cares. Have you ever tried doing social work or anything like that, working with the elderly people, afflicted children?

No, I haven't. I know I should, but I haven't.

Would you like to?

Yes.

Would you like to meet me later on and we could talk about it? Well, go to the Elbow Room. Do you know that place, the Elbow Room? We have a glass of lemonade, talk about it. Oh, at 7 o'clock tonight.

All right, see you then.

All right, bye.

Bless you.

You've got no chance.

Oh, everybody in the dance just moving, looking, laughing, and smiling, you see. So if you're feeling irritable, darling, come and have a dance over by me.

Oh, the music's all right, we could have danced all night, the feeling's so nice.

Operator, play it twice, when the dancer just run so People, they call it confinement. Oh yeah, but if you with your woman or your man, it's pure excitement. Oh, when you see the girls groove, they get right in the mood for loving. Oh yeah, I like the way one in the biz, there's no time for pushing and shoving. Oh, you see the DJ on the scene, he knows just what you mean about rubbing. Oh yeah, I'm really feeling all right. It's right on the side when it's dumping. Oh, everybody in the dance just grooving, looking, laughing, and smiling. You see, so if you're feeling irritable, darling, come and have a dance over by me.

Whoops!

Well, that's enough from me. Let's hear it for Scarlett Fantastic!

Just stomp away! Live in the Holy City while I be your friend. It's so great to see you here too, my friends. Cheers to our friends from around the world! In this big case we don't cry— The sound of a dream. You have not been so kind to you. So here's what we do, we stay together, we stay up all night and live forever. We don't cry, we won't cry. No, we don't. This is it. We don't cry. Take it, take it. You see that weird music over there? It was more loud.

Crazy, man. Must be a musician.

Ah, you can't hear myself thinking there. That's it, Summer.

[Speaker] Get in the snooker hall, see how Ali Hyde went. [MUSIC] Uh-uh. Don't you again in this.

Whoopsie-daisy.

There you see.

That's what you get when you mess with God. Hello, son.

Hello, Father.

How did the fundraising go? I'm confident you did your best.

Great, Father.

You wouldn't believe the response. The moodiest of characters coming out the woodwork. Tens and twenties every were even big—

well, you wouldn't know Big Jimmy, but he gave 45 quid.

And Spanish Joey weighed in, 50 quid. You know, Father, it made me feel like I was doing something really good.

You were, son, you were. I can picture their little faces now when I tell them all about the trip to the seaside. Look at this face. You know, it even feels a bit cruel putting a scam on such stupid people. Ah well, I'm a busy man and the Lord's work's never done, so we get down to business.

Absolutely. Gather round, everybody. Come on, everybody, gather round. Presentation time. Give some money.

Yeah, thank you.

Now, on behalf of me and them, I'll be very proud of being elected to be able to present to the Honourable Father O'Connor the Prince—

What's that? Happy landing.

Sprightly detail.

And just to make it up to the £5,000.

There's the extra 500. Hey, hey, he's got horns! Look at his head!

The priests don't have horns.

Shit, he's got a tail! Grab that priest by the tail!

Grab it!

Over to Tysley, and they're off and running in the railway sidings, handy Kept Stakes over 7 furlongs, and it's the 6-to-4 favorite Father O'Connor who's swiftly away. He's gone some 5 or 6 lengths clear at this stage. He takes them along, followed by the chasing pack headed by London Ricky, Roger the Dodger, Benji, Philip Tenyou, Bob Doyle, Mickey Howes, Patrick Tenyou, Donko, Bottomless, Sean the DJ, and Gabby the 200-to-1 outsider coming 3 stone overweight, brings up the rear. And there are two runners not with the field. Big Albert Chapman and Paul Henry have been listed in the stalls. Withdrawn not under starter's orders, Big Albert and Paul Henry. Approaching the two-furlong marker, and it's still Father O'Connor in the rails. He now comes under strong pressure. The gap is now only two lengths, and the others are closing. But it's still Father O'Connor with Roger the Dodger, Benji, Philip Tenyou now taking much closer order inside the final furlong. And it's a Very, very tired Father O'Connor. He's yet to be headed. Benji and Buttons now make a sustained challenge. Roger the Dodger, Bob Doyle, Mickey House, and Tattoo Robin still in close contention. They're followed by Tommo, Sean the DJ, Duncan, Martin Rickey, Hold Up Gabby Garbetts. Hold Up Gabby Garbetts at the rear. Racing towards the line, and it's Father O'Connor. He's going to win this. It's Father O'Connor from Benji and Tattoo Robin. It's Father O'Connor. Result, Taisley. First number 9, Father O'Funner. Second number 2, Benji. Third number 3, Tattooed Robin. And the SP, Taisley. 9, Father O'Funner, 6 to 4 favorites. 2, Benji, 3 to 1. 3, Tattooed Robin, 33 to 1. There might be an objection, Taisley. Tisley, objection and stewards' inquiry. Objection and stewards' inquiry at Tisley.

Inquiries, he's around there somewhere, I can smell him.

Shh.

Cole, can you smell that? He's around there somewhere.

Shh.

Keep your nose and quiet. We'll cop him in a minute. Yes, thank you, Father. You're not looking very well at all, you know. Still, God moves in mysterious ways. Another week, we'd have lost the roof. Hang on, you are seriously thinking of finishing a film like this? Come on, I think you better come inside there. Better fix those spots.

Come on.

Welcome!

Welcome! Welcome!

Picking up time, my friends.

Rich enough to open doors I never could unlock before. I don't know, it seems to me things I do best come easily.

I don't really need to say to you I made it, because it isn't true.