Why Hospital Advocacy is Vital | The Elevate Institute | Eva Vennari
In this talk Eva Vennari, founder of the Elevate Institute and self‑described medical intuitive, shares a personal story of taking her daughter Morgan to the emergency department and uses it to illustrate why active advocacy is essential for patients and their loved ones. She describes the emotional stress of watching a loved one in pain, the obstacles she faced in getting timely pain medication, and how speaking up—sometimes forcefully—prevented her daughter from being sent back to the waiting room and secured appropriate care. Vennari explains how advocates can question tests, medications, and procedures, monitor vital signs and drug reactions, and ensure proper nutrition and early discharge to support the body’s natural healing. She contrasts trauma‑focused Western medical interventions (diagnostic imaging, antibiotics, IV drugs) with post‑trauma healing that benefits from nutrition, reduced sugar, solid food, and the body’s innate self‑repair. Vennari also recounts a tragic example of her ex‑husband’s death when no advocate was present, underscoring the stakes of silence. Throughout, she stresses collaborative teamwork with nurses and doctors, respectful but assertive communication, and the need to balance conventional care with alternative insights. The talk ends with practical take‑aways: never leave a patient alone, be prepared with allergy and medication information, question the purpose and side‑effects of every test or drug, watch for adverse reactions, request appropriate diet, and push for timely discharge so the patient can continue healing at home.
Chapters
Taking a loved one to the emergency room can be nerve-wracking, and watching someone in pain helplessly, that's tear-jerking. You know, it's very difficult. I was reminded of how difficult that is recently when I had to take my daughter to the emergency room. So this is Eva Vennari, and I'm founder of the Elevate Institute, and I often talk about if you give your body what it needs, it'll heal itself. Okay, this does not negate the fact that every once in a while we have times when we've been through a traumatic experience, and I mean impact, something's going on with the body, or you've been in a car accident and you need emergency care. So I want to talk about the difference between going to the doctor for emergency care, going to the doctor for what is actually wellness care, and how that is actually impeding your health. So let's look into this a little deeper. So one is about advocacy. So when is it important to speak up to a doctor about what's going on? I mean, a lot of people, they take on this whole prospect that if the doctor's telling them something, it must be true. You know, they're going through all the tests and they're going through getting some sort of prescription to mitigate pain or to help get rid of an infection that they think is there and then they're drawing blood. So all of these things are going on around you and it can be very— confusing. So I'm remembering just a few months ago when I had my daughter in the hospital, she was having a difficult time speaking. She was in that kind of pain. And let me just share the frustration that there was a lack of pain medication that could over-the-counter give her relief. And just the idea of going into a hospital and saying, hey, I know what's going on with her. As a medical intuitive, I was able to see what was going on and I had other other healers who also I hired and said, hey, will you back up and see what I've got? See if you see what I see type of thing. And they said, yeah, I can see what's going on with your daughter. And I kind of had an idea what was going on and I just knew I needed to help mitigate her pain. I needed to stop that pain. Have you ever gone to the hospital and said, hey, I need pain meds? It doesn't work. And they look at you like you're a druggie. And then if they have the mother doing it, it's just even— you would think it would be validating and saying, yes, I realize my daughter needs medicine. But family members are known to be codependent and they're just thinking at the hospital, well, boy, this family is really hooked on drugs, even though we don't look like we are. But it's interesting, the reception, and of course the abuse over time of society for leaning on drugs, the opioid addiction problem that we have, has created this environment where getting pain medication for relief of something that I know we knew was a temporary situation and we just needed to wait it out, didn't need surgery, didn't need any sort of crazy other medications, just the pain. The pain was excruciating for her. So Morgan could not speak, and the important part was me being able to interpret what she was saying through her body language and sign language and the nodding of the yes or no and trying to interpret what the doctor was saying. That was important. So if the next time that you decide to go to the emergency room or you're there by yourself as the, the person being treated, call someone to bring them in, someone who knows you, or ask for an advocate, because not having an advocate, it would have slowed down her progress. For example, we were being admitted over to UCLA Medical Center, which in San Monica, I gotta say they are top-notch there. But we did have a moment in admissions when, because Morgan wasn't oozing blood or having any other experience other than pain, he just looked at her and went, well, she can wait in the waiting room. And if it wasn't for me, she was in a lot of pain. I spoke up and I says, listen, after conversations I've had with Various different— and I laid out the doctors and who I've spoken to prior to the phone call or prior to the visit. I said, they told me to bring her directly to the hospital, to the emergency room, and they said to bring her here. And if I didn't speak up and if I didn't have the gumption to question him, she probably would have waited uncomfortably and without the treatment that she really needed for much longer. So being an advocate means speaking up. It sometimes means speaking up at the risk of embarrassing your— the person you're there to advocate for. And that's okay. It's okay for them to be embarrassed or even to be in pain. Their job is to get better, right? And so they need to be treated. So needless to say, within moments we had a bed and we were back in the emergency room and we had a nurse who was administering an IV and taking on information and being that person present to say yes or no, or this is what's going on, was very, very vital because again, she was in a lot of pain. So never just drop somebody off and go park. Like, there are ways that you can just simply park your car at the emergency room and go inside with your person. Don't leave them alone. So there could be moments when the question arises, Allergies. What are they allergic to? Have they eaten anything? Know those answers. Be able to have those answers ready for your interrogation, if you will, because they do. They go through an awful lot of questions. They want to know what's going on for obvious reasons. They don't want to administer a drug that they could— there could be a reaction. So that's one thing. The other is knowing that You can separate this trauma from the treatment. And let me be more clear about this. I don't believe in polarizing and saying you have to use alternative medicine only and don't ever go to Western medicine. Obviously, I found myself in the hospital emergency room with, with my daughter to be able to take care of this pain. I also knew that for these circumstances, that staying in the hospital Beyond what was just simply pain management was not going to be helpful for her. And a lot of times we end up in the hospital. I can't tell you the number of people who were in there who had been admitted just like my daughter, and in this conversation with the, the other patients, they had repeatedly been in and out of the hospital for the same thing over and over again. And usually it's just for pain. Find that interesting. So the other people that I found in there who were not in there repeatedly and had just had surgery or just had something going on where they were not in a car accident or, you know, you get this information, people are walking the halls, they're all grabbing the walkers and they're trying to get through their surgery recovery. So we were in the hospital for a week. I'll just tell you that. And I slept there. We ate the food from the cafeteria there. We, we were roommates, my daughter and I, in one room. For a week. So this was quite an interesting turn of events and having to live through this, it was eye-opening. The biggest thing about polarizing is that we forget that doctors and nurses, their goal is to continue to treat the problem past its point of help. Let me explain that better. So When you have a situation that is created— in my daughter's case, it was created by an imbalance in her body. And the work that I do, it's hair analysis, and I can see what's going on with the imbalances of her body through the hair. So I had an idea of what was going on with her, and my medical intuitive nature, it kicked in, and I could see what was going on. So I knew in this case that it was just about the pain. We need to get the pain mitigated, and we need to get her to the point where she could relax. Once she could relax, she could then Start to heal. And that healing process, it took an additional 2 weeks after the hospital stay was over. So all of that said, this of course is the type of care that she needed. She just needed pain. So if you find yourself going into the doctor because of a spasm or because of, like, in the back, you know, I had to call 911 once because I could not move. My back spasmed to the point where they had to actually break down my front door to get me and take me to the hospital. And take care of the pain. This was years ago that this happened before I understood what was going on with the stress in my body. So a lot of people find themselves in these very strange situations where they have pain and it comes up and it's repeated pain. And this was the case of my daughter. She had gone through this experience once before, but the pain was simply 1 or 2 days and then it would slowly back off and she would be back to normal in no time at all. This, however, extended. And then we were in the hospital, like I said, for a week. So when you have these type of chronic returns that are coming up, know that what they're trying to do is diagnose, right? So they want to know what's going on, and they put you through the test, the CAT scans and the pelvic and ultrasounds and abdominal ultrasounds. And by now you're getting an idea of what kind of issues that she had going on without getting too much detail. But then you have Other types of of x-rays and things that you're exposed to, all of that radiation, all of that testing, and then they they have to put certain things into your bloodstream in order to get the correct results. You know, to be seen by CAT scan, they do that iodine. I forget what it's called now, but they're putting all of this stuff into the system in order to diagnose. You're there to get help, so you don't you don't want to. Simply reject every test, but you can question it. And you can even reject the service. You can say, I'm sorry, I don't want to do that test. I don't feel it's necessary. So remember that you, as the patient or as the advocate, can speak up and say, what is the purpose for this test? Tell me what the effects are of any drug that you're giving her so that she can go through, or him, go through this test. Ask how it's going to help the person, help the patient come to a place of healing. And a lot of times that's going to make them scratch their head a little bit. They're going to kind of go, well, we're just trying to diagnose. Sometimes the process of diagnosing is worse than simply mitigating the pain and getting through it. So unless there is something like seriously a severed finger, or you've been stabbed, or you've been shot, or you've been in a car accident, These are things that happen. A punctured wound, a broken, a broken bone, those things need immediate attention. Okay, so that's the trauma care. Get the trauma care, and then after the trauma care, realize that your body is already on the path of healing. So I'm not a believer in taking more antibiotics than the body actually needs. It takes— let me just give you this information— 9 days for the body to kill an infection. How long do they tell you to take the antibiotic for? It's 10 days. So in 10 days' time, guess what? Your body's already taken care of it. Most cases, you know, you can take a short-term stint of antibiotics to get through some crazy thing that could be going on, but make sure that you've done your research. Find out. What is the infection for? And look for reactions. So here's the thing that not all nurses, not all doctors will tell you. As they are administering the antibiotics or the drugs, they're looking for certain reactions. Well, oftentimes, here's what happens. They've got the IV going, right? And they've got a little wire coming out of it with an insertion point for the drug, right? So they put the drug in and guess what? The nurse goes away. So you're sitting there with your loved one watching how the drug interacts with their body. It's your job as the advocate to speak up, push the button, and say, hey nurse, I need, I need some help here because she's getting a rash. You're looking for certain things. And ask, ask what are the reactions going to be to this drug? What are the reactions? What should I be looking for? You're listening to the beep beep beep of the heart because they usually Hooked up to the little heart monitor, and who knows what else they could be hooked up to. Learn what those machines are listening for. Learn the normal pattern, and you're also looking at things like temperature and blood pressure, right? So if these things raise too high or they go too low, so if the temperature goes too high, that's a problem. If the temperature or if the blood pressure goes too low, then they can't administer pain medication. So they're looking for all of these things. Learn what they're looking for. for. Learn what the signs are for the progression. They're trying to get a person stable. That's the job. Get them stable, get them eating, get them regular so that they can take food in, take water in, and then get rid of it all. Those are the 3 things that they're looking for. Okay. In order to have you release with your loved one. And then from there, it's about healing. So I go back to that statement. I said, it's like, it's not about Polarizing. It's about utilizing both resources effectively. Get the help you need to diagnose if you need to diagnose. Rule out the need for any sort of— what's that called? Surgery. Rule out the need for the serious stuff to be treated. And then once you get the pain mitigated and once that your loved one is stable, now you have the ability to say, I know how to Take care of this person. I can make them soup. I can make sure that they're eating. I can make sure that they're stable going to the bathroom at home. Get them home as soon as possible because guess what? The longer a person stays in the hospital, the more depressed they can become, the more difficult it is for you to take care of them because that's, that's taking time away from, from work, from, from being able to take care of the home, whatever needs to go on. It's harder to split your time is what I'm trying to say. Make the time to be there for pain mitigation. Get rid of the pain, make sure that the person is stable, and then push to go home. So I just want to share a few moments. Other than being in that emergency room situation where they wouldn't admit her right away and I had to speak up, there were several times when I spoke up. So I know about this one time when The nurse came in, gave her her antibiotic in the middle of the night, and she was on 2. And I questioned the doctor. I pulled the nurse back in and I said, you know what, she's got a rash developing and her body's heating up. And I said, she doesn't feel good. She can't even talk. Hmm. So if you're— if your loved one can't speak after receiving a medication, you need to say something. Okay, something is off. And the nurse was so upset with me for questioning everything that she decided to just get her cell phone out and call the doctor. And at 2 o'clock in the morning, 2 o'clock in the morning, I'm on the phone with the administering physician questioning his choice of antibiotic. And I says, tell me what's going on here that this seems— sounds right to you. I said, after she was administered this medication, It's causing this, this, and this. And I said, you know, we need to do something different here. And I made myself part of the conversation. And when you do that, it shows an interest. And I think a lot of times doctors and nurses both, they get discouraged because we as the patients and the advocates and the loved ones, yes, we want the best care for them, but we don't question enough. And in not questioning and just kind of going hook, line, and sinker with whatever it is that they say, It leaves all the responsibility on them. So when you include yourself in the conversation, you say, I want to be a part of this. I want to know what's going on for my loved one. I want to be on the team here. Now they know that you're an interested party, not just to point the finger at them and say, hey, you screwed things up, but to say, I'm taking responsibility with you for my loved one so that we can work together. And that changes everything. So from then on, you know, they were able to change dosages and change how they administered, and Morgan was much more comfortable. But I got to say that it doesn't always turn out that way. So I'll give you an example of what happened years ago to her father. And by then, we were already divorced, which is kind of like going through a grieving process of a death as it is. But my ex-husband and I, once we split, we had several years apart. And at one point, he had to go into the hospital for some work to be done. Let's just put it that way. And He did not have an advocate there with him at the hospital. They gave him something intravenously and it pushed his body over the edge and he had a massive heart attack and he died. So to not have someone there to question, hey, what are you giving? What's going on? Why are you giving this? Why are you administering this? What is the purpose of the blood being drawn repeatedly? That's stress on the body. Like, find out, question. And I know I kind of glazed over that as part of my story when it comes to my ex-husband's death. It's not news for my listeners who've been with me for a long time. You've heard the story before. You know that he's died. He died young. He died at the age of 45. So this is something that I'm passionate about delivering. Be an advocate for your loved ones. Be there for them. Understand that the, the main goal of the physician in your eyes is not to cure, but to get them, get the patient, get your loved one to a stable position so that you can take them home and take care of them because the goal of the hospital is to Put people on medication. And they, they sent Morgan home with a bunch of drugs, and it's take this and take that. And guess what? We didn't use them. The body went through its process, and I knew that it would. Being a medical intuitive, I knew what was going on. We just had to mitigate the pain, like I said. So we helped with the pain and then moved on to the next step and let the body take care of itself, and it did. So have more faith in your body. Have the right kind of faith in the doctor, not the one-size-fits-all, they are God, they've decided what is appropriate for my person and I have to listen to them no matter what. No, your job is to make sure that when you push that button for the nurse, the nurse's station should respond right away with, hey, what do you need? What's going on? Because you've got IVs that are running low, you have bedpans that need to be emptied, you have all kinds of things that need to be addressed. And that's what they're there for. They're there to help with those things that mean the person is not stable yet. So while they're getting stable, they need the help. And if you have a nurse that's not responding, go to the nurse's station. I can't tell you the number of times they heard me. They heard me coming. That's why I wore shoes that were, that were kind of, you know, clip-clop. You can hear me coming. I'm a person who walks with purpose. So they knew I was coming and they knew I wasn't there just to bust their balls. They knew that I had something going on that was important. Yes, I realized they had other patients to to get to. However, I was a teammate with them and they knew that I was reasonable. So be reasonable, have reasonable expectations with them. And if they tell you, I'm going to be with you in a short minute or 2 and I'm going to bring this, this, and this, hold them to it. They're people too. They forget things too. They're human, right? So allow for some things to miss, but not the important things. If you're there and questioning whether or not A medication is appropriate, be loud about it. Not inappropriate about it. Question. Question everything. Find out what's going on with the tests, with the drugs, when you can be released. And here's the last thing that just killed me. Every time I've been into the hospital, this floors me. So they will give you a menu to choose from for your food if they're, if they're not already just saying, hey, You're going to be on a liquid diet. Here's your bowl of soup. Here's your, you know, Jell-O. And by the way, the Jell-O, the Jell-O is not sugar-free, guys, but you can ask for sugar-free. Okay, they have sugar-free options for the diabetics. And I only mentioned that because if you're on antibiotics and you eat sugar, those 2 things don't go together, they clash. Sugar feeds infection. Sugar is an inflammatory. Don't drink your sodas. Don't eat the sugary foods. Important to know. Okay, so they also— I also found that asking for sugar-free does not keep it sugar-free. So every single time it was time for meals, as it came Around to the food being delivered, I'm looking. They had to be reminded every time, stay on top of the people who are helping to serve your loved one. So if you asked for sugar-free, get sugar-free. They can find it for you. Do not be afraid to ask. Okay. So once I was able to get her off of just the liquid diet, because that was basically starving her, and I says, you know what, I know that a person recovers a lot more quickly and with more ease and more grace if they have minerals. And I wasn't giving her any sort of multivitamin or anything at the hospital. I didn't do that. So what I did instead was I advocated for her to get on solid food. I said, look, I think she's going to feel better if she has more food in her stomach. And what was really interesting was what was on that menu. The menu was full of things like hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza. Crazy. They had pastas and other things that were full of sugars, full of carbs, and I thought, all right, let me see what I can do to concentrate my efforts on picking it apart, do what I do in a restaurant. So if I'm at a restaurant and I look and I see, wow, this is just full of all kinds of heavy foods that I know are going to cause me some indigestion, when you're sick or recovering, on medications, on antibiotics, you want less ingredients, more cooked vegetables, and separate from your food, you want lots of water to be able to flush all the system from all of the junk. So my goal was to get her some cooked vegetables. So you know what, when I called down to the cafeteria and placed the order for her, they were more than happy to say, you know, we can just do grilled vegetables for you. Ask. Don't be afraid to ask. And you want to know what? After she went and ate those cooked veggies, she felt better. She had more energy. She wanted to get up and walk around and go look outside. That is a big difference. So doctors aren't going to tell you that. They're so tired of people not willing to make the changes that they've suggested, and they've stopped suggesting. So we've got to play our part and be the team player here when we're advocating for our loved one. It's A how can we make them feel better? What can we do to support them? The nurses will appreciate it. The doctors will appreciate it. I left there with a newfound respect for the emergency room staff. And by the way, we had 3 different departments and 11 doctors all scratching their head over Morgan's situation. And meanwhile, I'm like, well, I know what it is. She'll be fine. They never asked me what I did for a living, But I did advocate for her to be home. I'm glad for them being there, and I'm thankful that they're there. They don't have to buy into what I do or what you choose to do as alternative medicine. Use, use the medical care and the facilities that are available to you with respect, knowing that they're going to be able to help with certain things but not others. So they can help with the trauma. not with the healing. Okay, this is Eva Vennari with the Elevate Institute reminding you to question everything and be an advocate in a loving way for your loved one. See you next time.
