Can We Just Stop the Self Sabotage to Feel Your Best Ever

Real quick, before we dive into this episode, I have a little sleep secret I want to tell you about. Look, sleep is crucial for your fitness, but it's crucial for just plain old everyday life and function. And I find I sleep great unless I have a migraine. And I've had more than my fair share since perimenopause all the way through postmenopause. My secret weapon was Blue Sky CBD sleep gels. Each gel contains 25 milligrams of CBD and 25 milligrams CBN for deep restorative sleep. Something about it helps to reduce inflammation, which I believe for me was key in helping me get to sleep. But the biggest thing is so many of the over-the-counter solutions, whether for sleep or migraines, can ruin gut health, and liver health. Neither one of those did I want to be problematic for me. So this option is recommended by healthcare providers worldwide and backed by thousands of happy customers, many of whom come from our Flipping 50 community. There is zero THC, so it's non-habit-forming. It's made by a trusted family-owned company that we all can feel good about. Third-party tested for purity and potency. And if you're interested, you too can try a sample for just $6. But even better, you can get 30% off forever with discount code FLIPPING50. That's FLIPPING50. Just go to flipping50.com/blueskycbd. We'll put that link in the show notes and you'll find it everywhere on Flipping 50 at My Favorites. What are you waiting for? Good night. Can we just stop the self-sabotage already? I'm Debra Atkinson, and you're listening to Flipping 50. I started this podcast over a decade ago to answer questions about fitness and menopause and beyond before you know to ask them. The goal: to help accelerate your results with the science and the practical application of proven protocols. While living your best life. There's no more powerful health influencer in the world than a midlife woman. It's not just you, but it's the 3 generations that you influence. My unique 40-year career, including being a university senior lecturer in kinesiology, an industry subject matter expert, an international speaker, to founder of the first and the only exclusively made-for-menopause-and-beyond fitness membership in the world, Every week I interview experts behind the science of optimal hormone balancing, fitness, and longevity, and share answers to our community's questions so you can have the vitality and the energy you want, need, and deserve. If you've wanted to lose weight, get in shape, or struggle to climb the corporate ladder or keep a relationship You may know the desire to stop the self-sabotage all too well. My guest and I talk about her weight loss, coming down from 200 pounds to not achieving a skinny size 4, but an all-important and often missing love for the body and the curves that she has. If you don't have a need to lose weight, that's not your goal, but you aren't yet where you want to be in relationships, business, finance, Stay tuned to this one. My guest, Juni Moon, the CEO of Midlife Love Out Loud, a global love mentor, bestselling author, women's empowerment leader, and certified shadow work coach, has supported thousands of women over the last 30 years to claim their birthright, the freedom to be and love themselves without apology. Juni is dedicated to guiding women in midlife on a transformation journey towards self-discovery and empowerment. Through heart-centered coaching, she helps her clients cultivate a deep sense of self-love and confidence. Judy has been seen on News 12 New Jersey, BlogTalkRadio, Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, and the Newark International with her film Shed the Shame that she produced and starred in, by the way. Listen all the way through to the end because you're going to want to go and watch that one. She's also the international bestselling author of Loving the Whole Package: Shed the Shame and Live Out Loud, international award-winning speaker and host of the successful Midlife Love Out Loud podcast. Junie has shared the stage with Sherry Winston, John Gray, Marci Shimoff, and other groundbreaking thought leaders of our time. You're going to love this one. Juni Moon, thanks so much for being here.

Oh my God, I'm so happy to be here. I've been following you forever. I love you. I love your work. I love doing your exercises. And I'm so glad to share some of my journey here.

Well, you have quite a journey. You were, you were 200 pounds. So tell me a little bit about that, when it was. But you also cracked the code, right, for successful weight loss, which I think so many women do. But then often find there's a rebound effect there. Yeah. And you've found more than that. And we'll unpack some of these other more things later. But let's talk first about the 200 pounds. And we allude to self-sabotage in the title. So where does that fit in for you? Take us back. Okay.

So it's been over 20 years since I've been in this size body and it's It's mind-blowing to be here, to have a healthy body. It's not one of those really hard athletic, no fat on my body. I have a curvy, soft, yummy, healthy body and a normal-sized body. So I want to say that because there was this mindset of I had to look a certain way and be a certain way to be lovable, to be attractive, all that. And I have it all now, but over 20 years ago, like many people that are listening, I went up and down the scale 30, 40, 50 pounds at a time, at least 4 or 5 times in my 30s and early 40s. And tried everything, you know, like tried all the overworking out and the deprivation and the diets. And I would get down to a low weight and feel great. And of course, one would say, well, then why did you gain it back? And that's where the inner stuff comes in and the self-sabotage. And I didn't understand what was going on. So I hit 200 pounds. I was in a 20-year marriage. Well, it wasn't 20 years at the time, but I was in a dysfunctional marriage. And I ate a lot of food to self-soothe. That was my way of getting through. And so I thought I had a food problem. I thought that something was really wrong and I was really broken. Really beat myself up so much. And then I found the body of work that I actually teach now and do coaching on, which is shadow work. And I was able to see that it was so beyond a food problem. It was a self-esteem problem. It was an I didn't feel lovable problem. There were so many things I picked up along the way that had me walking on eggshells, unable to really share my truth and talk in that relationship. And so all of that, it just— the perfect storm. And there was a lot of stress in my life and I ate a lot of food. And then boom, I found this body of work and it wasn't about a diet. I never went on a diet after that ever again. And I found myself and I've been able to stay in this body for a really long time, which is a miracle. To a large extent, it's a miracle. And it's not It's not, it is cracking the code. It's not a mystery how I did it. And there are nuances for sure.

I love, there's a lot of things here I wanna unpack. So first of all, I wanna go back and ask a question that we kind of skimmed by and maybe a truth, but I wanna clarify. You mentioned you've had, you had kind of a roller coaster. You went up, you went down, you went up, and then you got to a weight and you felt great. You said, can you really, Was that true, or were you there struggling to stay there or fearful that you would regain? Was that really feeling good when you—

What a great question. That's why I'm on your show today. What a great question. Yes and. Yes, I would look in the mirror, I would put on the clothes, I would feel better about my body, and I still had my insecurities. I still walked on eggshells. I still didn't feel beautiful. I still didn't love my I wasn't able to relax. So the real problem still continued on. And it was like— I'm sure I'm not alone in this. It was a moment that I got to that weight. It was a moment, you know? And then it was like white-knuckling it to keep to that. And yeah, the fear of, "Oh my God, I'm gonna gain it back," and trying so hard to manage my food and manage— All of it. All of it. So no, yes and. Yes and. Yay and ugh at the same time.

No, I am so glad that you said that and I'm happy that I picked up on it because I think for a listener, there is that magical unicorn, when I weigh a certain weight, I'll be all happy and it'll be so wonderful. And I've never seen that occur with anyone. Tell me, shadow work. So expound on that. What does that mean, shadow?

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. I'm really glad you did pick up on that because there is that, oh, well, this level of success and then, ah. There's that saying, wherever you go, there you are. Well, I brought myself continuing to these moments, but I didn't really get underneath the surface of what was really going on, aka shadow. So shadow work, let's talk what shadow is. So shadow is a term from Jungian psychology, the part of us that we have shame around, the part of us we want to hide, the part of us in our personality we disown. Oh, I don't like that part. I'm not going to look at that part. I'm just going to avoid that aspect of who I am. And that's what happens throughout our life. We start to cut off aspects of our personality because we're told you better not look like that. You better not be like that. You better not think like that. You better look like this to fit in, to be loved, to be accepted. Oh, hi, doggy. I see you on all the videos. I love your dog.

He loves Amazon, apparently.

I love it.

I love it.

So good. It's like, hello. So we start at a very young age taking in all this information, and we're conditioned in an unconscious level of how to be so we can survive, how we can fit in. And we all do it. It's part of being human. You know, we want to survive and be safe. True. And so I picked up messages along the way, like many, many women, how— what beauty looks like and what— what a healthy body looks like, and I wasn't it. I wasn't it. I've always had juicy thighs. I've always been curvy, and I never felt good enough. And so what did I throw into shadow was my worthiness. What did I think? I didn't think I was lovable because I looked different than the models or the people in the movies. And what culture was saying is appropriate. And so I threw away a lot of stuff and took on beliefs of how I need to be and look in order to fit in. And so I was running a lot of energy of not good enough. Let's just keep it there. Just not good enough. Fill in the blank of whatever not good enough is. So I threw away an aspect of who I am, which was self-love, which was knowing that I was valuable just the way I am. And so when I had done Overeaters Anonymous, which I love. It really helped me get clear about my side of the street, very heady stuff, a lot of workshops on food and eating therapy. I learned a lot, but that was neck-up information for me. Shadow work is a personal growth model with special processes that shines a light on the 95% of the unconscious mind that's running in the background saying, You're never going to lose weight. You're just going to gain it back. You're a loser. You're ugly, whatever it is. And that's what trips us up. So Shadow Work shines a light on that program. And I was able to get clear and release that shame of something's wrong with me or I'm ugly and really learn my worthiness, my lovability, my voice, my what matters. My value. And that's what cracked the code for me because I knew how to eat well, but I didn't. I had all the information about my parents and my upbringing, didn't change anything until I released and healed. And that was in the unconscious mind.

So good. And I want to— to anybody listening who is not here and thinking they need to lose weight. That's not your issue. Stay with us because we talked briefly when we jumped on. I was looking at this computer because I had just been on a meeting. Now I'm turning to this screen. The meeting I was just on was with a group of entrepreneurial businesswomen. The title of the mastermind is called Beyond the Hustle, and it is the place where we can all talk about the things in the shadows because it doesn't have to be weight, you know, and negative ways you feel about your body, but it also may be limiting factors you're carrying around about your ability to be a leader, a boss, or, and every level that you go to brings with it the next set of imposter syndrome. I don't know that I belong here. I'm not sure if I should do this. Am I able to do? And it's so interesting that any arena in our life lives, we could fall into the same set, you know, of going through. And then, you know, I'm circling my notes here for you, and, and then you talk about this, you said this a couple of times, body of work. I mean, like, that did not escape me, like the body of work that you do. I'm like, and we're talking about bodies, and okay, so I never caught that before.

That's funny.

Woven together, so true. Let's talk about this, and I'd love to talk about twofold. One, so many women are— we are our own worst enemies in, in any arena we've just established, and we self-sabotage. And so I want to unpack why is that, and I'd like to preface it, if you'll let me. There's two ways we do that. One is is if you're listening and you're over 40, and that could include over 50, over 60, or 70, you're probably carrying around thoughts that have been conditioned and put there decades ago.

Yeah.

And we still hold on to them because, first of all, it's comfortable. It's very comfortable. So think of ourselves and think of things with the way we've always thought of them. It's much easier than changing. But you may be self-sabotaging simply by not being willing to look at new information about exercise or about eating or what that is. But I do believe that we also can get there. We can get there or we can get so close to there, whatever, whatever there is for us. And then we self-sabotage at that point. Why do we do that?

Well, there was so much there. Thank you. First of all, what you were sharing, whether it's imposter syndrome or who am I to fill in the blank, It's the same animal. It's the same monster under the bed. You know, there's something we've picked up along the way that has us thinking something's wrong with us or we can't or, you know, that edge, that glass ceiling. So it is so great when we can come together in our groups and kind of find a place, find a safe place to go, "Ouch, I have some fear around this." And ultimately, What is self-sabotage? Underneath it is fear, fear of something bad happening. And yes, we can get more information and we can change things. However, to your point, we know the pain we're in. We're comfortable in our discomfort. We know the playing ground. It's that classic, "Life happens outside the comfort zone." And I say, "Yeah, I get it. Why would we want to jump out of the comfort zone? It's comfortable." because we know what it is. We know the bad stuff that's here. It might get worse out there. I don't know, the unknown. So I always say we need to stretch our comfort zone. Forget about jumping out of it. It's like, let's cultivate what we know about ourselves and support and grow. So the question is, why do we self-sabotage? It goes back to self-protection. It goes back to, I know what I've experienced in the past. I'm a love and relationship expert, and yes, I help people lose weight. And people come to me for all different things, and it's the same thing. I'm afraid on some level that the same thing that happened in the past, the same pain of heartbreak, betrayal, losing a job, having somebody criticize you like your mom or your dad, whatever it is, we've had this journey of experiences through our life. And all of that information is stored in us. And so there's this part inside of us, I call it the risk manager. And this risk manager is assessing for danger, comes online at a very young age because we're wired to survive. And so it's going up when you took that toy from your brother and your mother shamed you and said, you are selfish. You felt the lack of love. And in that moment, You got imprinted on some level in an unconscious realm going, I'm selfish, I better not be like that because I lost the love of my mom. We're not figuring this out at 2, 3, 4, but we swallow the poison. And so we get into our adulthood and we go, why am I trying to take care of everybody else? Why am I putting myself last? Why do I not take time for me? Oh, I don't want to look selfish. We put our worthiness in shadow. We put our selfishness in shadow because we didn't want to lose the love of our parent or whatever it is. So this risk manager goes, uh-oh, danger, danger. She's going to do it again. It really didn't go well the first time. Let's tell her she's ugly. Let's tell her she's a bad person. Let's get her sick so she can't exercise or go for that job or go on that date. The risk manager is really sneaky, and its job, its only job, is to keep you safe. The thing is, is it's overshooting. And so we self-sabotage on some level to stay safe and not have bad things happen again. And the biggest piece of my body work is taking the shame off of that risk manager and taking the shame off of our choices or the sabotaging behaviors that have happened in the past. Why did I stay so long in that relationship? Why did I start that career in a crap— like all the things we could rake ourselves over the coals about. When we can take the shame off of ourselves because of what choices we made, have compassion for ourselves, and realize we were just doing the best we could because we wanted to stay safe, then we have a very different relationship with that risk manager. And that's where the cracking the code happens. We start taking much better care of ourselves.

Wow, I love that. And so much of that, I want to backtrack just for every listener so they don't let that just escape them. One of the things you said, there's this risk manager, I I picture like the devil, but we'll say let's get her sick. And, and I would also put in there, let's get her injured. And I think sometimes you don't realize that that actually is self-sabotage. I, I'm gonna take a side trip. I'll make this as short as I can, but I experienced this in 2000 15, 16, I was registered for— it's 2014 actually— I was registered for an Ironman, and it was in Boulder, Colorado. It was supposed to be a wonderful family reunion. I was going to visit family. Little did I know I would have a midlife crisis. I would move. I was living with my niece, and I lived there, but the move, the midlife crisis, the relationship things that had come before that, it was all too much. And physical training is a stressor. And about 3 weeks before this race that I really wanted to do, I had this strange fluke of an ankle injury. And I was like, should I do this race? I don't know. I had to go get an MRI. And then at the bottom line, I still had to decide, am I going to do it? And will I do permanent damage? And, you know, the odd thing is I went ahead and did it, silly or not silly. As soon as it was over, zero pain.

Yep.

It was like that, that chunk of stress went away and it was like my tipping point. I'd hit it and I was done. And I have never heard from that injury again, ever.

I love that. You know, what a great story.

But yes, I think that total, we're going to get in her way because this is too much, we have to keep her safe kind of thing. I mean, perfect example, right? So whether it's illness or injury, sometimes we have to look a little bit closer. Not to think, but every time I start to exercise, I get hurt. You know, I've heard that so often. Yeah, yeah, look around. Yeah.

Oh my God, I'm so glad you brought that up and are highlighting this, because a lot of times people don't realize their illness can very well be self-sabotage. I'm a trained, licensed acupuncturist. I've been in the healing arts for decades, and yet I don't— I have a few patients because I love them, but no one knows I do it anymore. Why is that?

Hey, this is Debra Atkinson. I love creating the Flipping 50 Podcast for you, and I have for over a decade. I also love helping midlife women shift not only their physical energy, but their beliefs about what effective exercise looks like and how much it can positively and powerfully impact your life. How you menopause and exercise in menopause determines how you will live, not just now, but decades from now. If you're not exercising right now, you're getting tired, not stronger, or you think you don't have time or the energy to exercise, do a 5-day flip with me. I'll send you one short video a day for 5 days. It's just 15 to 20 minutes long so you can see exactly how I plan out a fitness plan for myself and for thousands of clients I've worked with. You can get this at flipping50.com right now. What are you waiting for? Let's start flipping 50 together.

Because I had a pain in my hip, pain in my ass, 24/7 for 2 months. It was bad. I would get out of the car and I could hardly move. And then I started reading this book that was all about mind-body medicine, which I understood because acupuncture is awesome and it does talk to that. But it was so crystal clear how much what was between my ears was creating my reality. And I called the author, Dr. Sarno. I don't know if you know Dr. Sarno, but he's very well-known orthopedic. He's a surgeon not on the planet anymore. And he calls me back. I was shocked because he was really big. We talked for about 45 minutes. And after those 45 minutes, I was 100%, not 5%, not 95%, 100% sure that what was going on in my butt had nothing to do with my body after doing acupuncture, massage, and all that. He said something and I went upstairs and I heaved all the stress and I cried my eyes out and I released so much of the tension and the pain and the anger and blah, blah, blah. The next day, 100% gone. 100% gone. It was there and then it wasn't. So what was that? And it was— how I look at it is my body was speaking to me. Our bodies give us so much information. And right, like, you know, you're my coach. I'm gonna be working with you one-on-one. And we were gonna start, and I don't think it was sabotage about exercising, but I lost one of my best friends. I lost one of my best friends out of nowhere. And I thought I was dealing with it. I was handling it. I was crying and all that stuff and, you know, allowing myself to do the grief process. But I was also, like, staying on top of things and working. I was taken out, you know, the rug got pulled out from underneath me and I had to stop and I had to really grieve. My body, my saboteur stopped me. So is the saboteur a monster? Is the saboteur evil? No, it's our friend. It's just working way too hard and we just need to, to befriend that saboteur so it sees how to keep us safe and not limit us because it's hurting us now. We're not little kids anymore and we have more tools. And the more we work that and have that deeper relationship with that risk manager, the less we sabotage and the more conscious we become. And that's when the weight loss happens. And even if the weight loss doesn't happen, it's like you just love yourself. You have more peace. We're beautiful no matter what size we're in. Like, come on. You know, we've swallowed a lot of information that tells us something's wrong with us.

Yeah. And to go to the other end of where we were, you know, in terms of being at a point where you actually needed to lose weight, probably not just to feel good about yourself but to be healthier, right? And, and when you're at that point— but on the flip side of things, you know, I think many people who have a, have a little more padding in the cushions or are carrying a little bit more weight look at women who are maybe always been thin or always been fit and think that that would be perfect, or that is perfect. And, you know, knowing a lot of those women, I know they too run from something, you know, that we're chasing something. It's still, you know, we, we all have the something in us that is this potentially level of not settled. You know, I'm not quite where I want to be yet. So, you know, I think it's really important to look at, you know, you're, you're actually doing really great, you know. And maybe just for a minute, we should just take a breath and appreciate where we are, what we've got.

Yeah.

How do we break these patterns? So this, this tendency to continue to go down the same path or kind of repeat it, you know, maybe in a different, slightly different spiral, but really close, next door.

Yeah, yeah, that's also— that's what happens also is, okay, I'm better here, and then another direction. Well, the first thing truly is awareness. And I know that's like everybody's like, oh, it's awareness, but it really is. If you don't realize that you're working against yourself, if you don't realize that there's something else at play here that's tripping you up, where do you start? So just dropping in and going, Ouch. Something's not aligning. I'm not feeling congruent with what I want and how I'm showing up in my life. There's something else at play here. Awareness that you're not being kind to yourself, awareness of how you talk to yourself. Just starting there is the doorway to so much. And then it takes some courage. It takes some courage to say, okay, What is going on here? What don't I know? Because leaning into the unknown can be uncomfortable. We don't like not knowing what's coming. And yet, if we don't open to the unknown— and we don't have to jump off a cliff. That's the risk manager, by the way. The risk manager's gonna go, "She's gonna jump off a cliff and change her whole life and it's gonna be disastrous." It's like, no, baby steps. That's why when I work with people, we create a safe container. It's not like me hitting somebody over the head with a 2x4. It's like we pace it and it's not years of therapy. It's months of just step-by-step revealing, leaning into it and working with that unknown so that you can take steps because as we know, Fear is not going anywhere and courage is acting in spite of the fear. That whole acronym of face everything and rise instead of F everything and run. So knowing that there's something going on, realizing you're reacting, you're triggered, something is off, that's the beginning. And then be curious. And I love that word, curious. Be curious. What might be going on here and where, what's the next step? Who might be able to support me? I hired you because you know things I don't know. And I'm just like, I love you. I need you. What are my blind spots? And that's what people come to me for, which is what are the blind spots in my unconscious mind that has me thinking I can't call in love after 50 or 60 because my boobs are sagging and I have extra belly fat or whatever? What is that about? And so, yeah, being curious and open and remembering, and that's why I love what we both do with the population we support. We know the value of our life. We know the value of time. We know there's only so much more ahead. And we also know that tomorrow isn't promised because we see people disappearing in our life. So we're at a very special place to not just accept good enough, but to really say, "Hey, this is not okay anymore. How can I be gentle with myself and lean into the healing journey?" And it doesn't have to be so painful. It's relieving, it's enlivening, it's freeing. And when we show up to our life like that, everything is possible.

I love that. Okay, so I have to ask permission here. Okay, so you, you kind of open this up and talked a little bit about, you know, finding love and what, what it is that you do. And you're such a great story, but there's a, there's a segue here because often if you're— you start work in one area of your life and you, you level up there, it spills over. It spills over like negativity can, but it spills over positively. And then all of a sudden you're radiating at this different energy, whether it's because you did find love, or because you, you love yourself now and you're at a higher energy level physiologically. But yeah, you recently found love. So I also— wow, I'm asking you to tell us all how old you are as well.

Yeah, yeah.

And I want to know, where were you in your head? Were you looking for love, or did this just happen?

Oh my god, so great. So I'm 60. I'll be 61.

It's a very good year to be 60. Yes.

Why do you say that? I'm not sure why you say that.

Because I'm 60.

All right. It's a great club. It's a great club. It's like, did I miss something? Yeah.

Clearly my birthday. Yes.

Yay. Yay. Today's your birthday?

No, no, no. Oh, okay.

It's like happy birthday. All right, so, so I want to say full out with, without any censoring here, I found love. Not— I'm not happy because I found love. I love having my partner. He is my soulmate. We are in it for life. It is mind-blowing. It's beyond anything I could have imagined. Truly, truly, truly. And this is my, my work. But I was happy and fulfilled and loving my life before he came. It's amplified, there's no doubt. Like, he adds to my life in such beautiful ways. However, I loved me. I always say that we have to love ourselves in order to allow love in. I found my inner soulmate. I know how to take care of myself. I know how to take myself out on dates and enjoy my life. Before he came. I left a relationship a few years ago, and I considered that next level love. I call it next level love. It was wonderful in a lot of ways. It was a very COVID relationship in a lot of ways. At the end of the day, he wasn't my person. And I learned and I grew and I reflected and I took time after him to go, who's next? And who was next was me. Who was next was I dated myself and I enjoyed my journey. About a year and a half after him. And then I was like, "Okay, I'm going to start dating." And I was so discerning. I used my soulmate attraction system, what I teach my clients, through my dating process. I didn't waste time on dates. I hardly went on dates because if I'm going on a date, there's a reason I'm going on the date. And I really wasn't finding anyone. Nice people, really great people. But not my person. And then I'm like, you know what, there's a lot going on in my life. I'm going to just continue enjoying my life. And then there was this evening. It's a great freaking story. There was this evening over last summer, and I just was like, you know what, I have a great life and I really want a partner. I want to share it with somebody. And it doesn't matter what app you're on. I will say I was on Hinge, but— and there are some better than others, but there's no perfect one. Anyway, I was on Hinge and I had one rose to give to one person. And I went, I got myself aligned and I said, all right, I want to find my person. I will only give this rose to this person if I'm 100% sure in their profile I know they're from my planet. And what I meant by that is they had to have said something that I knew it was worth getting on the phone with. I never was that extreme before, but this was so aligned and so orchestrated by the divine, I totally believe. I sent the rose to my beloved Michael, and he responded the next day, "OMG, I cannot wait to speak with you. My profile kicks ass because I know what I'm doing." He read my profile and he was like, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." We got on the phone and we've been together ever since. As we both say, we checked all the important boxes because he's done the work where it's similar paths, similar coaches, all that stuff. And, um, and we always say that we checked all the most important boxes, but the bonuses, like, wow. So yeah, I'm really, really happy, but I was happy before he came in. And I've had clients that have been like, I really want a partner, I really— I'm out there and it's horrible, and in this and that, whatever. And online is the cart before the horse. If you are not sure of who you are, what matters to you most at this stage of life, haven't done your what I call the relationship blueprint to really know, uh, who you're calling in, and you are ready, like full and ready— and you don't have to be perfect. I'm not perfect. God knows I'm not perfect.

But perfect—

but better enough than the, oh my God, I'm running out of time. Like, coming to it from this place of Yes, I would love to have this person. She didn't have that in her. And she had a— this person I'm thinking of, she came to me and she was like, it's not working. And we did this one shadow work process. And she remembered this moment. I know I'm spilling a lot of things here, but she remembered this moment. And not everybody remembers her past, but this process had a moment when she was a teen where her father really shamed her for being with boys. She was dating and he called her lots of names. And then she looked at me and she was like, "That's why I'm sabotaging myself with food for her, as well as not following through with the dating." And so we did this process of unplugging and releasing what happened in the past so that she was so confident and ready and feeling deserving of a partner. And my God, she met her soulmate pretty soon out the gate. She's so happy. We got to do the inner work to get the outside results. I will say that to my dying breath unless something else happens, but I really think that's like until my dying breath. To have a happy life, it's not our circumstances. It's an inside job.

So fun. I love this. You know what would be really fun is that as next Valentine's Day rolls around, there's surely must be another holiday related to love. But we have both you and Mike on.

Oh, oh, goosebumps on that one. That sounds great. That sounds great.

Yeah, I love this. Okay, and so many people are going to want to come and find and learn a little bit more about what it is you do. Can you share where can they follow you, stalk you, and, and find out more about how you work with people?

Thank you. Yeah, well, my, my handle is midlife midlifeloveoutloud. So you put a dot com, you have my website. And if you go on Instagram or Facebook, that's the same thing. And my channel, my YouTube channel is Midlife Love Out Loud as well, where I have amazing guests and I will be doing lots of training and talking about all that we've talked about. I will lead you more toward my website because there's a lot of information there. There is the podcast there. But there's something else there that I don't know if you know, and I would love your listeners to maybe find. At the bottom of the page, it says media. And in the media page is a mini documentary, a 9-minute documentary I did about body image and body shame. And it's all over the place. It's gone viral. I was in film festivals. It's the thing I'm most proud of. And what was it? I literally— and this is a metaphor, ladies. You do not have to do this. I literally got naked and got body painted by a well-known body painter, and I shared it with the world, and I talked about my journey to being able to do that because I had so much shame years ago. So there's this documentary. And this is the work I do, is helping people shed the shame so that they can live life out loud, whatever it is. So that documentary is, is, is a golden nugget on my, on my page there.

Awesome. Oh my gosh. Okay, so we're all going to go and watch that. I know somebody out there right now is— I hope you're walking, you're weight training, or some of you are commuting, but you're going to want to do this. So all the links links to meet up and follow Juni will be in the show notes. You know, that's always true. So what are you waiting for? Let's start Flipping 50 today. Thank you so much for listening. To listen and access a decade of episodes and the show notes, visit flipping50.com where you'll be able to find all of our prior episodes. And I made it easy for you to make the most of your listening time by selecting 5 specific areas most commonly high priorities for our community and giving you top 10 lists if you let me know you'd love them. If you know a midlife woman or a soon-to-be one who wants to optimize her midlife energy and time with the right exercise and lifestyle changes and a mindset shift to about just what is possible, share this podcast with her, and I thank you. There is no more powerful health influencer in the world than you, midlife woman.