Intimacy and Incontinence with The Girlfriend Doctor

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Good night.

This episode with the Girlfriend Doctor is a real opportunity to listen over the fence with us. It was truly a girlfriend's dish. She is, of course, Dr. Anna Cabeca. This episode is full of discussion on intimacy, incontinence, aging, even resistance to weight training, not weight training, resistance training, but resistance to it by one of us. I will let you guess which one it might be, but wait until the end if you want to hear a very thoughtful discussion on this, mostly on her part. You don't want to miss that. And this is a very special opportunity to hear in person from someone of her stature and qualifications about how she works with patients, how she thinks through problems, We start discussing hormones, we start discussing things that disrupt our hormones and why it's such a wild ride at midlife for us, perhaps now, but hopefully not for women in the future. I want to share this with you, that I was at the CVS pharmacy yesterday picking up— well, of course, wait for it— my estrogen patches. And a couple comes in holding hands, but they are like in their 80s, right? And I saw them outside and I actually thought, oh my gosh, how cute. And I hope that doesn't sound condescending, but no other word comes to my mind. I just thought, you know, and maybe it was envy, you know, in that, that at that stage to still be holding hands. Well, they ended up behind me in the line for the pharmacy as we were waiting and there was a little holdup. So they were behind me, another young woman behind them. And they began to talk, but they came past me to get around to the back of the line, and there they were holding hands, and she just smiled, and she was giggling, and they were talking back and forth. But when she smiled, she actually had a very gummy smile. She really didn't have any teeth, and I wouldn't have known that from listening to her smile and chat and the way she conducted herself. I think many of us, I'm gonna speak for myself, would probably be embarrassed or maybe not smiling, you know, right, and hiding it. And I thought, this is joy, this is pure joy. And as they stood behind me, they struck up a conversation with the woman behind them, so eavesdropping like any respectable woman not on her cell phone would, you know. It was almost impossible to not overhear them. I heard that they'd been together for 56 years. She is partially blind, so in addition to being partially blind, she has no teeth, you know. But of the dozen or so people inside of this pharmacy at what must have been about 3:00 PM in the afternoon, she was smiling more and looked more joyful than anyone else that I'd come in contact with. Everyone else— you'll hear us talk about this later in the show— had their quote-unquote resting bitch face on. I mean, most of us just contemplating whatever we were doing now, or most importantly, probably doing next. What are we doing next after this? Which is where we all live. She was dependent on her husband entirely. It's one of the reasons they were holding hands. She's nearly blind, she can't see very well, so of course she was holding his hand. She needed him. But they were acting more like they were girlfriend and boyfriend more than that, than longtime married partners. How do we keep giggling with our partners after decades? You know, what's the secret to intimacy through the decades? We're actually gonna unpack that a little bit with Dr. Anna, but somehow I think serendipity always plays a part, and there's a reason maybe that I had that, that incident yesterday. My guest is Dr. Anna Cabeca. She's bestselling author of The Hormone Fix and Keto Green 16 and Menu Pause. Dr. Anna is a triple board-certified and fellow of gynecology and obstetrics, integrative medicine, and anti-aging and regenerative medicine. She holds special certifications in functional medicine, sexual health, and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. She lectures frequently on these topics throughout the world to large audiences and is known nationally as The Girlfriend Doctor and is host of The Girlfriend Doctor Show. She's personally developed natural products to help women balance hormones and thrive through menopause, including the highly acclaimed Julva cream for the vulva and Mighty Maca Plus, a powerful superfood blend. She now lives in Dallas with her daughters, horses, and dogs. Before I dive into this, I am Debra Atkinson. You're listening to Flipping 50, where I address your top struggles and concerns. But most of all, like today, we hope to inspire you and maybe break some myths and taboos so we elevate your expectations, which should elevate your demand for better products. And you're gonna hear us talk about some of the things Dr. Anna has developed and why she's done so in this show. And I just mentioned both Jolva but Mighty Maca also. What we're doing right now, a 12-week Stronger program, and as a part of that, I'm doing live coaching 5 days a week for a 20 to 30 minutes with our members. And I can't tell you, we're in, in week 7, just entered week 7, probably at least 3 different times already I have mentioned maca. I've mentioned the need for maca, and Dr. Anna has an excellent product for it.

It—

she is as if, you know, you— she's your whisperer, she's your hormone or midlife whisperer. She's developed a solution to a problem that you have inevitably. And it's so refreshing to not just have somebody who's developing or talking about the problems, because there's a lot of that going on on social media. Like, and I mean developing the problem, I do mean that in that there's a lot of posts about memes about how bad it is and about how terrible this or that or the other thing, but there have been answers to many of these things if you're seeking the right support. And I want you to know that just because somebody's only talking about the problem doesn't mean it's only all bad. It just means that's from the viewpoint they're at. You may wanna climb a little higher because it gets better, my friend. Let's dive into this episode. Dr. Anna Cabeca, thank you so much for joining me.

It is a pleasure, as always, to have time to have conversation with you. Thanks for having me.

Well, you know, and I'm a sucker for an accent, so you got me there too. Oh, I gotta dive right in. I want to use and abuse you today. We'll use, maybe not abuse, but here's the deal. There are so many women out there who are just accepting, and unfortunately, I think led to believe somewhat by influencer memes that forgetfulness and mood swings and loss of desire are just a part of the normal aging process. What do you have to say about that?

I, I say that, you know, menopause and of course aging is mandatory and natural. Every one of us will go through it, every woman will. And suffering is optional. Suffering is absolutely optional. I mean, I think that's what's being missed in this mayhem of misinformation. I was thinking about this the other day, Debra. I mean, why do you think more— I mean, it seems like more women than in our history are complaining of these issues: menopausal problems, brain fog, mood swings, weight gain. I mean, all of this isn't just an area like where we're talking about it more, speaking about it more. I mean, it really is more prevalent.

Yeah, I totally agree. And I, I I'm like, I feel like we're having this awakening. Like, menopause, I feel like, is having a moment.

Yes.

You know, and some celebrities are getting on the bandwagon and talking about it, and I love that. But at some level, I feel like some of it is superficial and we're not actually getting to the solutions. Like, we're talking a lot about the problems. Is that just me, or is that your take?

No, absolutely, absolutely. And I think the attention away from the cause of the problems, it's, you know, a huge problem in and of itself. So when we look at hormone disruption, when we look at the metabolic disruption that's having, you know, that's happening, the immune system disruptions that are happening, it's really been chemical warfare on our bodies. And so as a result of that, as a result of decades of birth control pills, as a result of, you know, hormonal contaminants in our water and endocrine disruptors in our water as a result of these xenoestrogens, etc., it's affecting our body's hormones more. So here we have to fight industry and pharma and chemical. We have to go to what is organic and natural and biologic and bioidentical that is good for our bodies versus bad for our bodies. And I was just, um, talking with a client today. I do some really high-level consulting with Physicians to Physicians for clients, and as well, you know, back in clinic again, Debra. And so this woman, she's a 56-year-old and went through menopause around age 49, 50 was her last menstrual cycle, really struggling with, struggling with difficulty sleeping and the hot flashes, the weight gain. And just, she said, just like, I just don't feel like I don't have the energy to do things I want to do or even that I have to do. And and I'm in this like, you know, shades of gray in no fun way type of lifestyle. Like, I don't have the vibrancy and the color. And, and she's like, is this just the normal part of aging? And so of course, of course not. Of course not. It is never normal. We, you know, getting in through menopause and beyond, we lose those reproductive hormone haze, and we should have higher wisdom, higher clarity, higher connection to oneness, spirit, God in my world, you know, this higher level of sensation because we're not dulled by reproductive hormones.

Beautifully said. I so love that. So I mean, that's— those are the things that have made it worse and, and that potentially some of us didn't know and we were doing or subjected to. What can we do to make it better?

Yes. And so this is where it starts. Like, for me, it's, it's from the inside out, you know, really working with hormonal detox. So my first book, The Hormone Fix, mandatory reading. Or listening to. It's an audiobook as well, but I really go through the key reasons, the key ways to optimize our body, like what's happening. Huge aha moments. I mean, there's not a, you know, meeting I go to that someone doesn't bring me a copy of that book all earmarked and tagged and highlighted. But, um, but so hormone, hormonal detox, keto green detox, you know, so that they're moving well, doing everything you tell them to do, right? Cutting out carbs, intermittent fasting, and making sure we're getting a lot of the good alkalineizers, nutrients to help with hormone stability. So for me, that's my Keto Green Detox, and that's in my book, The Hormone— they're in all my books, but The Hormone Fix, Keto Green 16, and Menu Pause have that, that part of cleaning up. But why we're doing it— the menu, the Hormone Fix goes into all those areas because what I learned being a triple board-certified physician and studying hormones for a good 30-something years now is that it takes more than hormones to fix our hormones. So that's the first thing, is we have to clean up the disruption that's happening in our diet and lifestyle and shift from a state of, you know, high carbohydrate, high glucose, to getting into ketosis periodically. We're not going to live there, but periodically to bump into that higher energy state, remember what it feels like. And then, um, and then working with the sleep cycle, really focusing on the sleep. I'm just— I'm not even like movement and Gosh, I just think about this. When's the last time I lifted weight? Actually, uh, last night, because I knew I was gonna get on a call with you today, and that's probably the only reason. But, um, it got it. It is not my butt when we worked out last year. I'm still sore from that workout, Debra.

You're still complaining about it is what I'm noting.

I love it. I love it. I wish, I wish I lived closer to you. You know, I've been working out with you every day for sure, because, um, I know we can do it virtually too. I gotta get— I gotta do that. And but so that piece is so critical. Muscle is magic in menopause and increases energy, it increases ATP production, increases longevity, and increases the beauty of how we look, feel, and act and show up with confidence. So that is critical. Now sleeping is the next piece, having a good nighttime ritual. And there's something— I have a sleepy book that's coming out, but it's, you know, it's a focus and I talk about it again. There's a whole chapter in the hormone fix on that. So using magnesium L-threonate, melatonin, you know, adaptogens, and created a formula, another formula called Night Seas, to help. But the biggest thing is creating a good evening ritual, like seeing the sunset, making sure you're grounded, winding down, getting away from blue lights and EMF. So all the things that we can do less of instead of more of that will help us get a better night's sleep so that we wake up refreshed, and that can make a difference. With hormones, we use progesterone. I use progesterone and pregnenolone with my patients in perimenopause and beyond to optimize their progesterone levels, and that helps you get a good night's sleep with or without a uterus. And we can use topical very, very safely. I use a cream topical called Balance with progesterone and pregnenolone that has some— I mean, those are key ingredients in there that, along with some tripeptides and essential oils in this combination, that really help your body relax so you can get that restorative sleep. And that, that can make a big difference in someone's life. I mean, if we can get you to sleep, you will, you know, reverse age 10 years.

So true. Or you can not sleep and then age 10 years overnight.

Yes, yes.

I have a problem coming in the, in the scape of a mini Bernedoodle.

Oh, really?

I know, I'm like, I'm gonna lose sleep.

Oh, you— that's a good way though. The oxytocin that you're gonna get from that doodle is going to just overpower any sleep deprivation initially that you get, for sure. So all that—

maybe we should call him Oxy.

That'd be good. That's hysterical. You totally oxydoodle. Oh my gosh.

Oh my goodness. Okay, I want to tell you this. So literally yesterday I was on a call with someone, consultation call, and I want to ask you this, like, what would have been a good answer? And I decided I chose to, to hold my thoughts because I'm in a space with her where we're gonna start working together and she's maybe not ready to hear it. But she said I'm doing this and I really don't want to do any of that. I don't want to do any hormones. I don't want to take that. I want to do this by myself and naturally as much as I can. And of course my wheels were turning and, and I just said, okay, let's, you know, cause there's plenty to work on with her before that. But what do you say to that? Because I think a lot of women feel like the same. They feel that way as well.

Yeah, I totally get that too. And I've traveled around the world. I touch on that in my last book, Menopause, because how do other cultures handle aging? I mean, the majority of the world and 100% of all the blue zones, places that live above 100, they're not on all these anti-aging biohacking things, right? They're not, you know. So what are they doing differently? And that's where we really look at these things. It's not just genetic privilege, right? It's not. And so it's— it fascinates me to no end. But this is what I've come to realize. Is that when we are doing things like our gratitude practice, getting sleep, being in good community where we're safe and taken care of, and we have like a village around us, we have people that love us, a great community, those are— that increases oxytocin, decreases cortisol, right? When we are optimizing, when we are living a lifestyle that optimizes oxytocin, I mean, you know, I mean, that's, that's the best part. And we're out in nature for hours every day. That makes a huge difference. In America, the way we're living, you know, while you're out in nature every day, you got great sunshine all the time, and— but for the most part, right now I'm sitting in my basement office, basement studio, under blue lights. And I do have an air filtration system on, but I'm enclosed right now for the next few hours of my day, and in front of blue lights several hours of each day on my computer. Those are all hormone disruptors. Those are hormone disruptors. However, if we are out in nature every day, if we look, for example, when I traveled to Indonesia and I was in northern, northern Bali in an area called Ubud, Indonesia, and living in a village there for a month, I witnessed the villagers, and first of all, lived in very family, you know, very crowded homes, sometimes one-room homes that everyone lived together. And they 3 times a day did a gratitude practice to their— and as part of their worship practice. And they were happy. And I saw women, you know, easily in their 90s, hundreds, in temple making flower and gifts and baskets and these, um, you know, with just amazing love and interest with all ages, like generations around them. And I'm like, well, they are, you know, they are living amazing. They're active, they're walking, they're hiking, they're dancing, they're doing these things and without any hormones, without, you know, hundreds of dollars of supplements each month, without all our biohacking injections, IVs, etc. You know what I mean? And it's, it's truly to remember that. So what I tell our clients, well, depends on how you're living. If you are living out in nature and you have these things, we want— can we— one, definitely want to optimize that. In the meantime, until you get there, let's optimize your detoxification pathways, get rid of your toxic burden. Let's make sure there's no mold toxicity. Let's support your adrenal glands and, and re— and, and replenish the hormones you have so that you can do more, be more, you know, and live a high-quality, energetic, strong, high-performance life. So it's the difference of living in nature and living in industry, living in stress and living in peace.

I love that. I love that so much.

And on that note, like yesterday I had my IV vitamin therapy I had going on, some ozonator for my blood. I'm working on detoxing some molds because my basement had a leak. You know, and all this stuff. And, you know, I mean, it's like all those things going on. I take— I take— I use my— I use my own bioidentical hormones. I use my Balance Cream. I use my Jova DHEA, which is DHEA plant stem cells, regularly. I use that for vaginal, vulvar health, incontinence issues. I had 4 babies.

Okay, hold right there because I have to jump in here. And I know you didn't know I was gonna share this, but I had a client who— yeah, she actually got Jova while we were working together. We we talked about it and, and she shared. And this is how it rolls out. Nobody volunteers that first, but libido was an issue, intimacy was an issue, was not comfortable for her. And I said, try this, you know, good friend of mine. And even though she doesn't like weights, she's a good friend of mine. And she began to use it and her incontinence improved. That's what she came running back to talk about. But no, Wait for it. She had had a sling. She'd had sling surgery and that didn't help, but the Julva helped.

Yeah. Oh man, I'm telling you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so glad. I'm so glad to hear that. I love that feedback. That's why I created it was because I was doing the sling procedures on my patients. I'm a surgeon. I'm a gynecologist. And I, I, I'm one day I did 6 sling procedures on patients.

Yeah.

I would do their bladder testing. I would, you know, get them. Um, you know, I would operate, and, and, but in the news there were all these other, you know, uh, mesh erosions, the vaginal erosion from the mesh from the sling procedures. I'm like, I never want that to happen to my patients. So I use— I had them on vaginal hormone afterwards, topical and vaginal hormones afterwards. And I'm like, well, what if I, you know— and I had this one older patient, and, and, um, I'm like, I've, you know, that's not good vaginal tissue, that's just gonna It's thin, it's not going to hold well. I know, you know, it's, you know, I'm worried. Let's use the vaginal hormone ahead of time. So I started her on DHEA and some testosterone vaginally preoperatively so I'd have good tissue to operate on Debra Atkinson. I mean, this is, you know, this may seem morbid to pay, you know, anyone listening, but I'm telling you it makes a difference. But when she came in for her pre-op visit, her incontinence symptoms were gone. Her vagina was like 20 years younger. She's felt better. She was no longer leaking. And she— they— I didn't have to operate on her. She completely avoided operation. And time and time again after that, I mean, that's, that's, that's the difference when we add back the natural missing ingredients that keep us incontinent but also with sexual pleasure. And I would say, you know, vaginal health is not just about sex. I mean, that's a bonus. Certainly is.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll have what she's having.

Yes.

Okay. And doesn't that make you look younger?

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Oxytocin, increasing oxytocin, the most prevalent anti-aging hormone in our body. And then we're more confident, we're more active, we're willing to do more things, we go more places. I mean, you know, it can make a huge difference. It makes a huge difference, especially in the exercise. Like, how many people stop doing exercise because they leak?

I love that. Okay, so, and I want to come back to talking about Jolvet because I think if we took HRT, if we took bioidentical HRT—

that's the only kind we— but that's the only kind we ever talk about, bioidentical, not synthetic, y'all.

Yeah. So if we took that off the table so that we're inclusive of every woman listening, no matter what her choices right now, how could listeners help regulate their hormones with diet and lifestyle and lead a healthy, vibrant, sexually active life at any stage? Where does Julva fall for you in terms of HRT?

Yeah. So for me, Julva is like one of the prevent— you know, it's preventative. So early on in our 35, you know, 35, 40, or postpartum initially, at least for a while, to get that tissue back and, and restrengthened, that can make a big difference. As we age, definitely, as hormones have declined, the vagina is real susceptible to those early losses of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and DHEA. Adding Julva back is that one essential topic to your van— the product to your vanity that you really do want to have. And I consider it essential. And so, because also clitoris to anus, you know, like, it's just— Debra, I just got my patent on it. It's the first vulvar cosmetic that, you know, I created it in 20— brought it to market in 2016, but had been compounding different formulas for a decade, more than a decade earlier, since 1999. So it's been, you know, fine-tuned and perfected, but it is probably one of the most important things I can give a woman to help her maintain a quality of life for the rest of her life. So there's that piece. And so with that, between, you know, healthy mental attitude, a positive self-appreciation, self-love, healthy nutrition and, um, weightlifting, muscle. Like, almost stutter with that.

Caught in your throat, I feel like.

Yes, I know, I know. I love it though. I do. I am always glad when I'm done, right? Like, one day I'm gonna so look forward to it, but I'm always glad when I'm done. I absolutely am.

Your 85-year-old self I'm so glad you're doing this.

Yes, my 85-year-old self is thrilled. She is thrilled.

Well, and I imagine you're doing a little weightlifting because that granddaughter, she's probably not shrinking.

Yes. No, no. Oh my gosh, so yummy. So yummy. And that's the thing, right? Like when you talk about, when we think about where we are in time, can we look back at ourselves 10, 20 years earlier with compassion? Can we look at our, you know, like for me, I'm 57. So look at my 47-year-old self with compassion. Oh my gosh. She was trying so hard. She was working so hard, doing so many things, juggling so many things. I'm kind of— can really just love on her right now. And then like, can I love on myself like that right now? And that's a practice for me, and it does make a difference in how we age. And in these Blue Zones, one of the common threads is this healthy— Enrique Martínez, Dr. Enrique Martínez termed it healthy self-narcissism. Or it's termed healthy self-narcissism. In other words, of course people love me. Why? You know, I'm just great. I mean, look at me, there's 100-year-olds, 110-year-olds. Like, of course, of course people love me and I love people, you know. Like, of course they want to come and sit with me. Why not, right? Like, so I think it's, um, I have a, I have an aunt who's, um, uh, almost 100 years old now, and she'll get on her little stepper. You would love her. Oh my God, she gets on her little stepper and talks and she goes Oh, I'm a chocoholic. I love my chocolate. Like, I eat a piece of chocolate every day, and everyone brings me chocolate because they know I love it, right? And it was just— and she's on her stepper and she's talking. It's just, it's just that, you know, yeah, I am gonna— like, I have, I have some things that I enjoy doing that are, you know, that make me feel a little naughty, and it's so fun, right? Like her chocolate. And I think that's just that self that sense of humor and that self-appreciation. And, you know, she wasn't criticizing her chocolate addiction. No way, right? I love that. I love that. And so I want us to look ahead, you know, to be able to, with compassion, be able to appreciate where we are right now and to love on ourselves. Because when we don't, when we have that body shaming, when we're like, well, you know, I'm, I'm not like this person, or I'm look, I've sabotaged myself again, or, you know, use terms like, oh, I cheated on my diet and things like that. I mean, that is just— our body's going to react to that in a negative way versus, you know, being able to look with humor and love and compassion and kindness and understanding and re-visualize, well, how could I have made that, you know, could I have made better choices? I'll make, you know, just to be aware of it makes a big difference in how we age well. And I tell my women in my Girlfriend Doctor community, I'm like, look at what's your resting face look like right now. Like, look around you, go sit at a cafe and look at people's resting faces. They're concentrating, they're thinking, and are they smiling? Are they happy resting faces? Because, you know, you can figure out where your laugh lines are going to be or frown lines. So, so you start retraining your body and your mind at the same time, and it's never too late and it's never too early.

So beautiful. You know, as you were talking, it makes me think of this, and you're from Texas, so we can talk about this— Tim McGraw, right? So Tim McGraw is like one of the greatest life coaches ever. When you listen to his— I've been walking every day, and for whatever reasons, I'm listening to Tim McGraw Essentials. And anybody— I just— we are very intimate now, because at one point I would have never said I'm a country music fan, but I think I am. But there's a song and it's like, one of these days, you know, you're gonna love me. And it's about, you know, having picked on kids in 7th grade and, and people who don't fit in and that we don't do anything about it. That's equally as bad as actually contributing to picking on somebody. But at the end of the song, the words are no longer one of these days you're gonna love me. It's one of these days I'm gonna love me. That we have to internally— if you're having lots of conflicts outwardly, or you're very critical of anybody or younger you, it's you're critical of yourself right now. And, you know, I think when we come back to— if we come back to intimacy, I mean, that may be one of the pieces, that it's— there may be a piece of that too, that we're not self-accepting So it's hard to put ourselves in front of someone else that vulnerably.

Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, when it comes to that, that sexual intimacy, I mean, that's so powerful. And for so many, you know, divorce rates of 50+ percent, right? For many people midlife dating again or trying to re-explore their sexuality and, you know, appreciate intimacy again versus being roommates or, or like brother and sister in the bedroom versus, versus being lovers. And it is, you know, it's so important to accept where we are right now and be really present, let go of the, um, the misconceptions, the self-doubt, the self-criticism that we have and to communicate what we like and what we don't like, and to communicate how we're feeling, and to be aware when we are being self-critical. Because there are mirror neurons, Debra, like the mirror neurons. If I'm thinking, oh my God, I don't want him to see, you know, my, you know, belly roll, and I guarantee you he doesn't care. He doesn't care about any belly roll. And, you know, it's important to— but if you're doing that, you're feeling self-conscious, those mirror neurons, like, oh, she's not— you know, you cannot feel the turn-on. And for, you know, our partners, our turn-on is their turn-on. And it is really important for women to recognize and be aware of because that makes all the difference in connection, intimacy, and the hormones that we're producing as a benefit of sexual intimacy— the oxytocin, the dopamine, you know, these anti-aging hormones that we're producing.

I love it. I love it. Okay, and we want to get everybody to recreate in this way, and you have something very special going on. And no matter when you're listening to this, I want you to click the link anyway. So in regard to intimacy, or in regard to incontinence, or to both, the Summer of Love special is going on. So I've got a special link. It's already for you at flipping50.com/SOL.

L. Love it. Love. Not shit out of luck. That is right. But you won't forget that.

Won't forget it. So I also— we have all the links to connect with you on social, but I'm going to ask you, maybe putting you on the spot, do you have a favorite? Where? Yeah.

Where do you like to be? Instagram @thegirlfrienddoctor. That is definitely one of my favorites for sure, because I go there to look at my granddaughter pictures and see what my teenager is posting, you know. I have to go to Snapchat for that one too now. Now she keeps— she knows where I find her.

So, so good. And for those of you who are also already on Instagram, we've done, we've done a host of, uh, lives together. So you'll find those on my timeline. If you look at the movies, you'll see all the old archives and conversations about strength training, about getting started, it's strange, but also about Julva and about Mighty Maca, which is something else that you may be interested in to support with adrenals and fatigue. I'm gonna ask you one hardest question of all: is there a question I should have asked you today?

Okay, this is the question you should ask me as a girlfriend. So this is— I would ask— this is you asking me, Anna.

I—

you know how important it is to exercise and do that, you know, strength training. Why is that your— like, what is the roadblock that's keeping you from doing it?

And if I brilliantly asked you that, what would the answer be?

It's a really good question because, you know, that's one— like, that's how I ask, exactly how I ask questions for my clients, right? To dig deep. Like, why? You know that's good for you. Why do you think it is that you're resistant? Where's the resistance coming from? And, um, and like, you know, let me process this with you, pretending there aren't hundreds of thousands of people listening. Um, you know, like, I think this, this year, you know, a couple things was, you know, became a grandma and this last year, so that I my mom was in her 50s, she had her first heart surgery, and when she was 67, she died from heart disease on multiple, multiple medications. And I think I'm holding into— there was that part of me that felt, that maybe feels like I'm not honoring her, or that by being like her, I honor her. And And so I've been— I think that, that's one thing that's coming up in me. But yet, if I think this through, I was— if I knew now what I knew then, what I know now, I would be, you know, Mom, we've gotta, we've gotta do this, we've got to work out. And she would swim. We've got to work on the muscles, we've got to get off these medications. At the time of her death, she was on 11 medications. And so do I feel guilty that I am so vibrantly healthy and, you know, I've reversed all the heart disease and diabetes markers that she had at a much younger age than me? I wonder if there's a piece of that under there. There's that resistance that I don't honor my mom by being— I don't know, or that I'm honoring my mom in this way. I don't know. I don't know what it is, Debra. I'm thinking this through.. And, um, I definitely have to work through that resistance because it is so good for me, and it does feel so good when I'm done. I love that. And that maybe I am worth it still. That comes through when it comes to worthiness, right? I am worth putting that extra energy in. I am worth it. I am worth changing the trajectory of our family lineage and our family history, our family, you know, destiny, so to speak, with diabetes and heart disease. I can rewrite the legacy for my children.

Love that. Thank you so much for thinking out loud.

That was amazing processing.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. So love it.

Okay, thank you so much. So early in the day, I'd have a shot of tequila after that, Debra.

Well, thank goodness it's early in the day. Thank you so much for being here. It's always a pleasure to talk to you, and my audience loves you.

So do I. Thank you. I have one more thing to add though, Debra, because, you know, I do— I've worked with some of the— you know, I do work with the best physicians around the world and, and very high level. And, and these consults that I, that I do as well, they are recommending Julva, they are recommending Mighty Maca for their patients. They're like like nothing works as well as these. And so, you know, it can— one, one physician's like a very high-level, you know, VI, you know, concierge. I mean, you don't have to spend tens and $20,000, $30,000, $100,000 to go to these physicians to get this. You definitely want to optimize other aspects, but if that, that's your— in your wheelhouse and ability. But this is one thing, because my mom would never have been able to afford going to a doctor like me, you know, for instance, or one of, one of these, when you're triple board certified consulting, whatever. But everything is available, so it's at an affordable price because I'm very conscientious of that. So the highest quality at the most affordability and 100% 60-day money-back guarantee. So I just want to put that out there too because it honors me when I do hear these recommendations too and testimonials from your clients.

So love that, so love that. And you know, for anybody listening, I think yes, intimacy is one piece, and that's why the title, you know, for today is Intimacy and Incontinence. I mean, one or the other, or often both, you know, are issues, but I don't want anybody to be suffering from incontinence and have that keeping from activities they love or from the strength training that gets them stronger for the activities they love, if that's how it goes. So again, for listeners, here you go. Show notes, pay attention. Flipping50.com/TheGirlfriendDoctor. And what are you waiting for? Let's start flipping 50 today.