Why Those Holiday Meals Make You Miserable (It’s Not the Calories)

You thought it was the turkey, but it wasn't. If you wake up in the morning after a holiday meal or the barbecue at the neighbors, bloated, puffy— that's my telltale sign— or foggy, this one's for you. Let's talk about the real reasons your digestion crashes at the holidays and what you can do to enjoy traditions without paying the price. Look, the holiday table is packed with comfort foods, but if you're in midlife, it's also packed with ingredients that can turn your gut into a war zone. And this episode breaks down why these once tolerable foods— gluten, dairy, peanuts, corn, to name a few— now hit differently thanks to midlife gut and microbiome changes. Yes, thank you very much. I'm also sharing exactly how I navigate Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, which to me are very two similar holidays because I'm a turkey girl. You're not going to find me cooking a ham. That's just not my jam. But you'll find out what I skip, what I swap, and how I manage to enjoy the meal without misery. Spoiler alert: this is not about willpower or dieting your way and depriving yourself of tastes and things that you really want. It's about knowing what your body can and can't process anymore and having the right support to get it. And if you want a little bit of help, because what I'm about to say is different and unique, we are bringing back a live coaching opportunity that rarely do I do anywhere except for inside of our membership. So if you want to hear a little bit more about that, I'll tease that a bit later, but it's a 4-week total reset program where I'm actually going live with you 4 weeks in a row. No plans to do this anywhere in the near future. So if you want to participate in January, you have to get in before the end of December. December. I know if you're listening to this later, I'm so sorry. Okay, real quick before we go any further, I'm gonna give you a spoiler alert. This is what I'm using recently, and I switched probably about 3 months ago. Right now I was already using something I thought was really great, and this is even better. It's called Mazymes by Bioptimizers. First of all, I love the company for multiple reasons, but right now this is the one that has helped me beat bloat and digest better. And so I take it 3 little caps before meals. And I have to admit, I don't know about you, but every once in a while I'll be in the middle of a meal and/or at the end and realize, oh, I forgot. And I have taken them after, and I believe they still do the good and the wonderful thing. But if you are really wanting to optimize and really struggling, you would do them before. So with more dramatic little results than I've ever had with anything else. So MassZymes has 18 unique enzymes to help you break down protein, carbs, and fat. Each one of those has a unique enzyme that helps you do that. But the level of protease, which helps break down protein, which number one is the hardest to break down. Number two, we're all trying to eat more for our muscle and for satiety, actually. And it has 4 times the usual amount of it in it. So it helps your gut manage real-life food on a regular basis. You can go to flipping50.com/buyoptimizers and use code FLIPPING50, FLIPPING50, for 15% off any time. Okay, so let's talk about why holiday meals hit a little differently in midlife and Maybe you're also finding your whey protein also hits a little differently. That happened actually to me. Didn't happen, didn't happen. I kept carrying it. We actually at Flipping 50 had a whey protein and I realized, first of all, for a long time, I'm the only one who can tolerate it. I'm the only one ordering this. And yet we had a select other few who also were, but so very few of us. And there came a point where That's it. I'm not tolerating it either. And it's an amazing supplement for high leucine levels, getting all the essential amino acids in. However, it's, it's no good if you're not digesting it and breaking it down, if it's causing the gas and the bloating. And that's what happens for a lot of women. Midlife gut changes mean you actually have a couple of things going on. We have less enzyme production happening. And reduced stomach acid. Now, that can happen to males as well, but women get this— boom, happens to you bigger, harder, more. And the reason is hormones are, many of them, contained, produced in the gut. And so when hormones change, there is going to be a domino effect to the gut microbiome. And women carry their stress a little differently. We deal with it a little differently. We tend to ruminate, meaning we let things marinate and, and fester a little bit. And that's no help for our gut microbiome either. So if you're learning better stress techniques, you might have a little bit better time with your gut health, but a lifetime of gut exposure to Gluten, dairy, corn, peanuts, those are very likely to become food sensitivities. And if you had regular exposure, like who didn't, not only drinking milk every day, but drinking it at 3 meals a day or more and having it be a part of an ingredient in many more types of things that we're eating. Gluten likewise, who didn't start their day with cereal or toast or waffles or pancakes? And milk and maybe orange juice. So let's throw in some sugar. But there's also corn and peanuts. And look, you're talking to a girl from the Midwest and I could throw soy into this list, but you know, between corn and soy, I'm gonna really get myself in trouble with farmers. So I gotta watch myself now cuz I've moved back to the Midwest. But So any of those things, that lifetime of gut exposure may now trigger noticeable inflammation. Something that you've done every day for much of your life could be causing some of those issues. Hormonal shifts affect the gut-brain access. And that is often you'll hear experts say the gut is the second brain. So it's actually what helps you think. So we've gotta take good care of it. Of course, but your hormonal shifts also affect digestion and food tolerance. And if you think back with me to when you were in your reproductive years and you were still having a regular cycle, I don't know about you, but I would say hormonal shifts on a monthly basis also affected digestion and elimination, right? So you might've gotten bloated from certain foods during a specific week or two of your monthly cycle. I know that it was common for me to have loose stools or diarrhea in that, that few days right before I would start my period. So if you think about it, this is kind of micro level, you had that every month, and then macro level, now you're going through a really big change in menopause that can also trigger things. But that thing could also include food intolerance. So you're you're going to become intolerant of foods that you've had. And ironically, it's often foods you have on a regular basis. There are a group of foods— we mentioned a lot of them— gluten, dairy, corn, peanuts. I threw in soy, wheat, and we can separate that. Although wheat is gluten, gluten is contained in a lot of other things that don't necessarily have wheat in them. There are a lot of things that are factors here that that you may have had on a daily basis, even eggs, that you now could tolerate if you only had them occasionally, but not if you're having them daily because you're never giving your body a break. And there are certain things that we do, like let's say lifting heavy. We can do that a couple days a week. You start doing that 3, 4, 5 days a week, you're probably going to break down your body more. We know Resistance training is a breakdown activity and you're not going to recover. And it's not just your muscles going to recover, it's your entire endocrine system, the adrenals, the cortisol level. Can you handle that? Some of us potentially could. Others of us were already at a tipping point because of other things going on in our life and could not. And you're the same with certain foods. You may find your best friend You can go out to lunch and she can order something that you wish you could have, but you know will trigger you. She may be getting by with having something that is probably a known food sensitivity, and yet you can't because your tipping point is already full. That bucket is already full. So even one serving of, say, wheat-based crispy onions on top of my green bean casserole, and I guess within it, right? Or dairy-laden mashed potatoes at a holiday meal could lead to puffiness in your eyes, bloating, or digestive distress, meaning you're probably gonna have diarrhea the next day. So the usual culprit and what you can do about it. So let's just narrow it down to holiday meals and how that shows up. So take mine, my favorite, you know, I definitely love the turkey. Okay. Yes. However, I really like the green bean casserole. In fact, I generally make that more than once through the holiday season. So I'll make it. I love eating it for leftovers, but then I made it for myself and I had my kids over and fed them leftovers and then there weren't any leftovers. So I had to make it again. So green bean casserole is one, but made the traditional way, that cream of mushroom shroom soup. Cream of— when you see those words, read dairy, right? So you've got that. Potentially there's gluten in there as well. Wheat-based onions. And bam, I got hit because normally I had been living in Phoenix. You're living in a larger city, when you go to the grocery store, the ones that you know that you can trust anyway, you know you're going to be able to find what you want. And lo and behold, here I am shopping on Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. And I did that because I wasn't actually hosting until Saturday, so I had plenty of time. But, um, they didn't have gluten-free crispy onions, and I went to two different stores and nobody had them. And I'm like, I'm like, what? I, okay, where am I living? Like, what am I, what have I done to myself? So I realized I'm gonna have to get a little bit more organized and use Thrive Market and/or, so after the fact, I didn't really have time. It was cold and snowy and I wanted to get home. Not used to driving in snow and ice. And so I don't trust myself out and about. So I went home that night, went to another store later the next week Vegan found, okay, they've got a health food market I can trust. And you know, so by the way, I'll, I'll share where I got them, but you potentially can buy gluten-free crispy onions and you can make your own soup. So the gravy kind of thing. So it's literally homemade and made from scratch. And I will tell you something. It's so good. So if you've only ever had it the traditional way and you don't like change— this would have been me— I— it's gonna be hard to do this, but if you can make it one time, I promise you, you'll never go back. It's that good. It tastes so very good. So the usual culprits— that was one green bean casserole ingredient, but that is like double inflammation hit. I dealt with it. I sucked it up and I brought home the gluten-inspired crispy onions. And both times I ate it, I was glad that my kids ate it up because it didn't respond well. It just didn't go well. I'll keep the gory details to myself. The mashed potatoes. So traditional versions are loaded with milk and butter, right? I mean, that's actually what makes it. Besides the salt, what else is there? So, uh, you know, a couple of things going on there. I make those mashed potatoes because my son likes them and I just don't have any myself, so I make them that way. What kills me, the part that kills me, is that I have to buy the regular milk. But generally I will try to bypass him with almond milk if that's what's in my refrigerator, and ghee. So it's clarified butter at least. Stuffing and rolls, all gluten-based really. So you have to work a little bit harder if you want to find gluten-free items as far as stuffing goes, but well worth it, and your gut will probably thank you for that. On my list, those are not two things that I put high. So if I'm gonna eat more carbohydrates at that meal, Generally, I'm going to get them from whole food items. So this year, for instance, we did, um, sweet potato medallions and they were really kind of doused in a maple syrup glaze full of ghee. Like, so I mean, what's not to love about that? And I've done some spiraled sweet potato medallions before that were also really good. And I just as soon take it from there, or butternut squash, some kind of a dish like that, as opposed to bread and something that's gone through a little bit more processing. Even if you made it from scratch, I would just rather it be something that was grown in the dirt from sunshine. Pumpkin pie, so that's another one. The crust is gluten, there's eggs in it, and then there's dairy. So it's like That's kind of a gastric upset right there. I make a gluten-free pumpkin pie. Now I cheat, total cheater, transparently with the crust. So I will buy a gluten-free crust. I didn't make pumpkin pie this year. Two reasons. Number one, I was kind of off the hook because— and I say off the hook because it's a little more labor-intensive. I don't mind doing labor-intensive for a vegetable, but there's something about— I don't really need to have the dessert. Anyway. So I don't like to go to the labor-intensive job if I'm not gonna love it. So, but I'll do it for somebody else, it's okay. But I couldn't find, I couldn't find a gluten-free crust. So again, I realized, oh my god, where did I move to? What have I gotten myself into? I'm gonna have to really plan ahead. And you don't go shopping the Wednesday before the holiday, there's that. But also You know, the pumpkin pie I make is dairy-free, so you can buy a non-dairy evaporated milk like a coconut, but there would be eggs in it, so you're gonna have that piece of it. And you know, this is one of those instances where if you have that occasionally, you're gonna be fine and let your gut heal, and you'll be just great. If you add— let's say you had green bean casserole, you had mashed potatoes, stuffing, and rolls, pumpkin pie, and then afterward you all made sugar cookies together and you sat down to a movie and had popcorn with butter. You have just layered in gluten and dairy and eggs, peanuts, corn, and sugar on top of everything else. It is no wonder that the next day we don't feel all that great. So if that's you, just realize that you could probably pick and choose a couple of those and be okay. Maybe not as ideally great, but then the next day just be on your merry way eating the way you normally do without suffering, and you'd be great. But if you have all of them, probably going to cause that inflammation to a greater extent and greater degree, and it's not going to go quite as well for you then. So just, just saying that that would be something to consider. What's really worth it to you? And don't go overboard doing everything. And it also depends on how long has it been, and there is probably a sweet spot since you've sabotaged yourself. Knowingly before. So if you have done this over and over in the last few days, it's kind of a season, it's probably going to be worse for you. But if you have just occasionally done this, your body will probably rebound pretty well as long as you don't go all the way in and overdo. This episode is sponsored by the Flipping 50 Menopause Fitness Specialist. It is the framework that we designed our entire membership and program based on. Since 2013, I've been developing that after 30 years of working with women in midlife. That was born, and in 2018, we rolled out the Menopause Fitness Specialist to train other fitness and health pros on how to actually prescribe exercise. Here's where we're going next, in case you want to get started now, that we're actually training physicians on exercise prescription. Knowing they get very little of it in medical school and hoping that it also bridges the gap for you who may be a fitness or health professional or want to be, who works with women in menopause, because there is so much demand and so much room for you right now. If you are working with women in menopause but not getting all the results, don't have a reliable, predictable framework that gets you results over and over, that that people know, like, and trust, come and talk to us. We'll put the link in the show notes for today. That's the Flipping 50 Menopause Fitness Specialist. And if you want to head on over to fitnessmarketingacademy.com, it's where we have all of the content dedicated to you, health and fitness pros. So let me tell you what I did differently this year, and now from now on Will do. So number 1, I focused on the turkey. And by the way, I was hosting on Saturday knowing that my guests were going somewhere else on Thursday, somewhere else yet on Friday, and then coming to me on Saturday. And they had kind of requested, can we do something different? Because we'll probably do turkey and the fixins and turkey and the fixins, and could we do salmon? And I'm like, Sure. And actually, we did salmon and steak. So you can go non-traditional, but focus on the protein, whatever that might be for you. I had a good friend who, for years— we kind of went to grad school together, we started early in our careers together, raised kids together, you know— she always— she hated turkey, and she would make lasagna. For Thanksgiving. So do whatever you love, but that probably would not be my choice, by the way. So use a gluten-free gravy. You can make your own, you ambitious souls out there. I don't buy the gravy for myself. I buy it because my son insists we have gravy. And I have Primal Kitchen's. It's ready-made, but it's kind of one of my favorite. And I've tried a couple different kinds, but Even last year, I think the last time I used it, we didn't pull it out this year because it was salmon and steak, so there really wasn't any reason. It was like, this is pretty good. So, um, you can absolutely make your own, however, and, and all you'd change is you'd use gluten-free flour, right? And, uh, non-dairy milk. I have made mashed potatoes with almond milk and ghee Personally, I skip them. They're just not— I— it's nothing I love, you know, so it's not like I'm gonna miss that and so I feel deprived if I don't do it. It's just that there's nothing I really need from it, so no, I don't do it. I served sweet potato medallions in a maple syrup glaze and ghee. It was a fan favorite. So even The non-traditional historical guests at my table really liked it. And I don't know about you, but my dog loves sweet potatoes, so leftovers— although he probably didn't need that drown in ghee, he got a treat. I made my gluten-free green bean casserole, and, um, you know, at this particular meal I was stuck and it was full of gluten, but But I'm really glad I had the opportunity to do it because it really pointed out to me this— it matters. It makes a big difference. Since, I have found a store who has the gluten-free crispy onions and I will share that with you where I've gotten them. But don't go now because somebody bought them all up. I don't know who that might be, but give them a couple days. And you'll be able to go back. So a gluten-free pie crust, that would be my choice if I were doing pumpkin pie, and non-dairy pumpkin pie filling. So you will use eggs, but by the way, ovens matter. I'm sure you've realized this. So I have lived in 2 different homes and now 3 in the last 13 years, and The oven just, I mean, one year I had pumpkin pie soup. I mean, it was really like runny and needed a bowl, and we ended up throwing it into a blender and trying to make a pumpkin pie smoothie with the crust and the whole thing. And God bless my daughter-in-law for coming up with that idea and a solution. She was so optimistic. So I'm not sure that really turned out very well, But realize that your oven will matter, and that is interesting. But I use the eggs and I don't put them in anything else. So it's not like I'm over and over and over abusing eggs or having a lot of eggs the morning of that, that holiday meal, which, by the way, can be really easy to do if you're cooking for a crowd or you're making, you know, an omelet or frittata or egg casserole in advance, you know, you might want to be careful and cautious about overdoing it yourself. So the takeaway is this: you don't have to skip holiday celebrations. And I would say generally a buffet is probably an easier route, at least if it's a cocktail kind of a buffet. Bacon-wrapped scallops, nothing wrong with that, right? You're getting protein and protein. Probably it's gonna have some maple syrup glaze or something on it, but you're still getting relatively high protein. If you're doing— going for the shrimp cocktail or you're getting some smoked salmon, you know, go for those items that are high protein and then go for raw veggies, you know, on top of that with dip, and you really can't go wrong. There doesn't have to be a lot of carbohydrate, and if there's high in protein, you've got some fat, you have things for satiety that you really want. But these are the options. You don't have to go deprivation. You don't have to say you're on a diet. I make food that I enjoy, that works for my body, but I do it kind of no apologies. And, you know, everybody who comes over to my house knows that I eat this way, so they know probably to ask, you know, how is this prepared? You know, and they may not want that healthy thing. But these days they know I actually like things that taste good. I don't want to eat something that doesn't. So I let others enjoy what I make. I skip what doesn't serve me. It's not about restriction really. It's about respecting your midlife gut and your quality of life and your hormones. And you're going to feel just so much better and enjoy the party. And I would premeditate What are the things that you would really miss if you didn't have them? And you can make anything just using different ingredients. I remember distinctly a good friend, Magdalena Wszelaki. Many of you know her, Hormones Balance, and she published a book several years ago. So while we were both living in Boulder and I went to the book launch at a bookstore just to support her. And I remember, you know, she was asking for questions from the audience, and she challenged everybody and said, you know, what is it that you think you can't have if you're cutting out these food sensitivities? What are you worried about, or what do you think you can't have? Because her whole point then was to go on and illustrate, you know, well, I love ranch dressing on my salad, or I really wanna make rich creamy soups. And she was just pointing out, well, here's the ingredients that you would use or make in order to do that. For instance, for that ranch dressing, you could use raw cashews. You soak them for a couple of hours or overnight, and then they're soft and you can blend them up with certain spices and some liquid and you actually can easily create a ranch dressing made with cashews that is creamy and that nobody else may suspect. You can make creamy dressings and sauces with hemp hearts. So hemp hearts are, they, they're like little seed-like ingredients and you can drop them into a smoothie And each tablespoon is about 3 grams of protein. So 3 tablespoons is 10 extra grams of protein. Easy peasy. Adds a little healthy omega-3 fats. But you can also, um, use hemp hearts to make sauces and nutritional yeast can be an ingredient that also helps things become a little cheesy flavored without the cheese and the dairy. So there are ways to do just about anything you want to. And still take it easy on your gut. And if you'd like some support doing that, making that change, it, again, it's pulling a couple things into your pantry that maybe you're not used to using, like the nutritional yeast and having raw cashews always on hand so that you could create sauces or dips or dressings. But it's not hard, it's just new. And that's the hardest part, right, is overcoming that, you know, not wanting to change, or, you know, skipping and doing something different because it takes a little energy, it takes a little bit more effort. But that actually is— if you can give yourself a goal of, okay, let's like replace one thing that I'm doing today that's probably a little bit harder on my gut than it needs to be, what would that one one thing be. So I'd love to help if you'd like to do a 4-week program that helps with accountability, that helps keep you on track, and helps ask you these questions so that you can have ranch dressing or you can have pizza. You're just going to do it slightly differently than you've done it in the past. Let me know. I will put in the show notes how you can join us for a 4-week program. I'm going to do live We rarely do something like this except for inside of our membership, so now's your chance. If you want to get started, you can join us at flipping50.com/totalreset, no space between those two words, to learn more. Or just go to the show notes for today and it'll be there. If you're hearing this after the fact, you may be able to put your name in for a notifications list, but we have no plans to do this again in the future. Something we're doing for our entire membership and just opening it up to the public.