5 Habits to Grow Your Dream Business w/ Dean Graziosi and Nicole Burke

Foreign.

Say hi to Dean. This is Dean Graziosi.

Nice to meet you all.

Has been a mentor of mine. Though he did not know me, he's been mentoring me for almost 10 years. So Dean I like to call it, you're like a self made man. You started from the bottom, built your own business, and now you've made your business all about helping other people do the same kind of thing. It's amazing and it's.

Let me just say, and I'm sorry that, you know, technology is amazing when it works everyone, right? And then when there's the littlest thing, right. But it was fun watching you. And I have to say, you know, for those of you who follow Nicole or work with Nicole, it has been such a pleasure to get to know you over the last couple of months. We've had the chance to spend time together in person, be on Zoom calls and do some really cool stuff. And watching your evolution. Yeah, I love to get what I do and we'll talk about that in a moment. But watching somebody come to life like you have and you inspire through your actions, you inspire through your heart. And I know if you're here today and you follow Nicole, I see why. And it's. It allows people to see what's possible. And sometimes it takes someone just forge the path a minute, you know, a chapter ahead, a month ahead to bring people with you. I saw all the hesitation you guys had today, being new spouse, time commitment, overwhelm all those things. Here's the cool part. We all face those. Nicole faced them. I did. And it's not that we're any better. In fact, I guarantee most of you are smarter. More determination than me. Sometimes you just need a hand up. Sometimes you just gotta crush those old limiting beliefs. Sometimes you just need what's the next best step so we can plow through those. So I'm excited to be here with you today. This is your group. I want to deliver as much value as I can in the next 20 minutes or half hour, however long you want me, I'm here because my greatest goal for today, even if it's just one of you, to say, oh my God, I can do this. Like, I can make this shit. And that's. That's what we're shooting for today.

If I can do it, you can too. They can too. All right, so. So when I read this book, I. This is what I was going to get to as I was fumbling around to be sure that Zuma 1 was indeed Dean Graziosi. You know what's so fearful is like I was going to bring up some stranger. So when I read this Dean, what hit me was like, what, what really matters is not like what we think is like, we do this one big grand thing. And what I loved about reading this book is it was like, it's a little things. It's the little minute commitments. And so today what I want to do is go through five of these. You have 10 at least in here. I was going to talk about my top five, how it helped me, and then have you break it down for everybody else.

Right.

The first one I read that really impacted me is you said, define happiness for yourself. And, uh, when I was in the middle of just starting my business, you know, you realize, like, I gotta be careful what I'm going for here, because I'm actually going for it. Right. And so you realize I could actually, I could end up creating something I don't want. And so for me, the first thing, I'm a mom of four, so my very first happiness was I want to have time with my kids. When my kids are off of school, I want to be off. My second thing was I've got to do something that I so truly believe in. I could sell it to anybody. Like, I don't want to sell anything that I don't believe in. And then my third one was no more financial stress. I was so tired of money stress. And you talk about this in your book and it hit me so hard. You talk about how a lot of us feel attention about having money. And I read that and I was like, I feel that where I. I felt ashamed to even say I want more money for my family. But what I realized is we were actually, we were stressing ourselves out because of the lack of money. And so. So those three things literally love it. They shape my life. So I would love to ask you. I went through this actually in your training in 2019. You brought me through an exercise. It was called like the seven whys or something. Or like the levels of why would you bring us through a little exercise like that to help us find happiness?

Yeah. First off, million. I wrote that book, I think a decade ago. And I love, I love. It's still one of the best selling books. It's over a million copies. It keeps chugging along. But even as I read it, you know, listen, I hope all of us get to look at something we did in the past and go, oh my God, I would do it so much different. Right. I read that book now and I'm like, right so. But I hope a book I wrote last year, I would feel that way. So we're continuing to go. So there's a couple things. There's a lot to unpack there. I'll go as quick as possible. Number one is that relationship with money. And then we'll go through. I'll give you a little hint on that, on that purpose driven thing. But when it comes to money, our definition of money can freak us out.

Yeah.

But I guess the question I would ask, does money solve problems? Right. I would just really think about that. Does money solve problems? Yeah. Fact is, when we first hear that, like, not really. No, no, no. I'm not saying does it supply happiness. Please hear me on the differentiator of the two. Does money solve problems? If you have more money, could you make sure that your parents who are still working or have a horrible retirement plan that you could take care of them? Does it make it that maybe you retire your spouse who's in a job that's been killing him that he's been dying to get out of forever? Could money solve problems for people in need or your church? Could money solve problems where you could get out of something that doesn't serve you and you could feel more confident or spend more time with your children? When we look through that lens of money, sometimes we're thinking it's greed, when simultaneously most good people solve that. Like, like when you're on an airplane that says, put your oxygen mask on first, and then other people. That's really what money usually does. Most people don't go for the Lambo and the Ferrari and the million dollar watch. It's like, no, I got myself safe. I got my oxygen mask on. I'm there for my kids in the summer. I created something that's magical. My oxygen mask is on. And then what do you do? You start giving it away and helping people you love. And you say to your husband, you know what? It's time for you to quit the job too. You could be home with the kids as well, like those types of things. So just get that mindset of money can really freak us out. When the fact of the matter is money earned ethically not only enlightens your soul, it allows you to impact others. So, and one thing I heard that I thought was fantastic when somebody said, if you think money doesn't solve problems, then you haven't given enough away yet. And I just, I love that. So that's the first thing. The second thing I want to say, and this is just a quick one, is I remember we all come have our own journey. I was. My parents were married nine times. My parents split originally when I was three. They were married nine times to different people, moved all over. And I was just running away from craziness as a child. Different stepdads, stepmom, stepbrothers, stepsisters, different home step grandparents. I just wanted to be. I wanted money so I could just control my decisions. That. That's a fact. Yeah, I know, Nicole. I went years. And if you take nothing else from today, I want to share this is. I remember saying, when I finally get successful, then I can allow myself to be happy. Like, I thought the happiness was attached to the outcome. Duh. Obvious. You're all going, no, but your brain does that. I. I'm partners with Tony Robbins, for God's sakes. I think of this stuff every day in my life and still I fall into this trap of no, but when I can exhale, when I could be with the kids in the summer, when I could garden for a living and impact other. When then I could allow myself the happiness. And at this phase, at 55 years old, I realized, thank God I figured it out. But I didn't figure it out till probably my 40s. Is we can be happy in this very moment.

Yeah.

And just be happy that we're on a journey, that we're going to accomplish our goals and hit our success. I know it sounds like a tiny nuance, but. But I believe if you can find the happiness today, the success will come exponentially faster. Totally.

I saw this video I'm gonna. With a marathon runner, and they had this photo, this video of them at the end of the marathon, and they said, I just figured this out. The marathon's actually the celebration. It's all the training. That's the marathon.

Oh, so good. So good.

And I was like, that's business, right? It's like, it's the. It's the getting up and doing a little bit every day. That's the marathon. You're running a marathon every single day. You get up to do that. So you're not waiting until one day or one moment. It's. It's every little moment on the way.

So true. So true. And then the last thing I'll just tell you, this is going to sound really positive, but life is going to happen. People are going to let you down. You're going to try something new, and a best friend is going to call you and say, oh, you're trying that Nicole or you're trying that Lara or Brittany. Or Mackenzie, you, Renee. Right. You're going to have a friend not talk to you anymore because you're trying something new. You're going to have like, disappointment is going to happen.

Yeah.

You're going to try stuff and fail. How's that for being positive here on a Wednesday? No, that's not. The point of it is. It's not about if those things are going to happen. It's how armed are we. What. What level of armor and tools do we have at our fingertips to not stop to be disturbed with inaction and continue to move forward? For me, what you were talking about, the seven levels deep, the seven whys, that has been my grounding force for almost 20 years. For almost 20 years when things go sideways. Listen, when people say, I can't wait to get successful so I have no more problems, that is so funny. I have 300 employees now. I have four companies that I help run. I own a part of 15. I have four kids as well. I'm trying to juggle all that and still be the dad when they look up at tennis practice, that I'm there going, yay. Right? Like all those things, problems don't go away. In fact, it should be the opposite. You should be looking to be better at solving bigger problems. If I'm sitting at a table with successful people, I know the wealthiest, happiest person at that table solves the biggest problems, hands down, winner every time. So instead of saying, I don't want problems, say I want to solve bigger problems. So how do you find the courage to solve bigger problems? Move forward when you're scared. Move forward when your husband thinks you're crazy. Move forward when your friends doubt you. How. For me, it's been, why the heck am I doing this in the first place? And to go really quick, what it really means is someone did this exercise with me years ago. They said I hired a consultant. They said, why would you pay me so much money as a consultant? And I remember saying, I want some of the stuff you guys mentioned this morning. I want to do a better website. I want my clients to do this. If I could just overcome this. It's all the stuff that comes from your head, the logical side. And what this whole concept was is he kept asking me seven times why I wanted the previous time until I got out of my damn head and got into my heart and I felt it like a freight train. I remember saying, I want to leave a legacy. I want to step up this industry. I don't even know what I said. And all of A sudden, I got to, like, the fifth question. And I said. And I stopped. I felt a little emotional. And I said, oh, I never want to go backwards. I never. I'd never thought that emotion before. And I started thinking. My mom worked three jobs to make 90 bucks a week. She came home tired. We lived in a trailer park. One day we came home and our stuff was outside. We got evicted from our trailer park. Had to move in with Grandma. Like, all of those things happened, right? Not poor me, just they happened. And all that started flooding back in my mind in my 40s, tears coming to my eyes and go, I'm never going back there. We couldn't go to the fancy restaurant. We couldn't take the vacations that other kids I went to school with took. I'm like, I am not going back there. I'm not going back to Motel 6. I'm just not going backwards. I'm not going back. I retired my mom when I was 27 years old. I'm never going to where I can't send my mom a check every week. I bought my mom a brand new car every two years. I bought her her dream house. Like, I'm not going back. That. I can't do that for my mom. I'm not going backwards. So I'm like, I'm empowered. I'm not going backwards. He's like, great, Dean, that was only number five. I need to ask you two more times. I'm like, geez, this guy. And he said, why don't you want to go backwards? And as I'm sharing this today, maybe you could write this down. And if you don't do it, live, do it with a spouse or a friend or someone later on tonight. And just every time when you ask them, you know, why they want more, just say, why is that important? So he said, why don't you want to go backwards? And I remember saying, I want my kids to have choices. And if you guys have children, you know what I'm talking about. Then the waterworks come, and I got. I'm emotional. I'm, like, not feeling sorry for myself. I just felt like I didn't have a choice as a child. Like, I'd get a step grandparent that I loved to death. Leo Rizzo took me fishing, took me hunting. I'd come home after school, walk over to his house. He bought me a new BMX bike. Love this guy. You come home one day, and my parents, like, my mom's like, we're splitting again. We're leaving. I'm like, so no more Leo Rizzo. I wasn't in control. So I'm starting to realize, oh, I want my kids to have choices if they want to stay in a house, if they want to do something new, if they want to go be whatever. Not entitled children. World's got plenty of those. I don't want to make those, but I wanted them to have choices. So now I'm in my heart. It's about my kids. He's like, sorry, Dean, one more. And for me, when he said, why is it important your kids have choices? What came out of my mouth sticks to me to this day. I did it probably 18 years ago, and I said, I need to be in control. Like, not a control freak. But my childhood made me feel so out of control, Nicole. I had no decisions. Who was my dad, who was my mom, what school I went to, what house I did. Money was in control of my life. Bad relationships were in control of my life. And I just. When I look back, I remember that I was fighting. I didn't. You don't figure this stuff out when you're a kid and 18 years old. I was hustling firewood at 18 years old. I was selling cords of wood and fixing wrecked cars. Why was I so driven? Because I was going to make my own damn decisions. I was going to be the parent I wanted to be, the husband I wanted to be, live the way I want. I wear a gray T shirt or a black T shirt every day of my life. I take my kids to school every day of my life. I make my kids lunches every single day. I don't miss tennis practice. I don't miss baseball practice. I don't miss dance recitals I don't miss because I'm in control of my decisions. And for that level of why, when you have a bad day, saying, I want to make more money or I want financial freedom is not enough.

That's right.

But I will crawl over broken glass, chew through a brick wall, and fight to the death to be in control of my decisions, to give my kid choices and not allow myself to go backwards. So when you find that all of a sudden, so how did this all come in? Of happiness? So if you combine all three, money is an evil. It actually solves problems. Number two, we could be happy today. We don't have to wait. Number three, if we find a why, we could just know, I'm accomplishing this. Nothing's going to stop me. Here's my purpose. I'm going to smile a little more along the way.

I love it. Yeah, I love it. For me, like, that why exercise was so powerful. And I think I have this, and this goes to this, the second habit. But for me, I have such a drive to leave this really big mark on the world. And this is one of your next habits, is to go for something bigger. So when I first started my business, I sent an email, and I said, I want to start 100 gardens in my city. And to me, that felt huge. It felt ridiculous because I'd never helped anybody learn how to garden before. So to start with 100 felt like going to the moon. And I read this book, and I was like, it's not big enough. And started, like, doing a couple of gardens, working with a couple of clients. And then I was like, wait, this is so fun. This is so great. Like, I want to make this bigger. So it became, like, a citywide thing. Like, I want everyone in Houston, Texas, to have a garden. And then, like, the more I got into it, I was like, actually, you know what? Like, I want to. I want my kids, the whole world. Yes. I was like, I want my kids to grow up in a world where every person calls themselves a gardener. And I started writing in my journal. It went from like, I own a garden business to. Because I'm a real believer, you know, and. And you teach this, like, writing out how you want things to be. And so I started writing. I'm the leader of the kitchen garden movement. Kitchen gardens is what I do. And so I started writing that, and that was my big dream. Like, I started picturing myself as, like, the Oprah of gardens, you know, like, that I'm the person who gets everybody in the world to start gardening and getting that big, big mission. Like, you challenging me to have a bigger mission. One of the coolest things, like, it kind of like, undid competition for me, because all of a sudden, every other person that's doing anything in the realm of gardening, I'm like, oh, they share my mission. Like, we're doing the same thing. And so instead of feeling like I was grappling for territory and it all had to be mine, it made this so much. First. It made me.

I love that. I love. I love that explanation.

Yeah.

Because it really does. It shifts your whole perspective on things. You went from, hey, can all of us in this industry make it to, no, I'm going up here, and I hope you all come with me. Yeah, right? It's like. It's immediate. Different frame.

Yeah. So the minute when I started to feel jealous or envious or oh, she's ahead of me. Or I'm behind. It's like, but wait, like, I have a real big mission, and I can't do this all by myself. So.

God, I love that. I love that. So I want to.

My question for you is, like, I realize I've watched my kids. They've all become teenagers, and they used to have these. When I asked them what they want to do, they have these crazy big dreams. I'm going to be a singer. I'm going to be an astronaut. I'm going to. You know, they have these really big dreams. And then I've watched them as teenagers. I'm going to speak quietly because they're upstairs. They're dreaming. They're dreaming smaller now.

Yeah.

And they're not saying, but is it?

But doesn't the world do that to us?

Yeah. So how do you. How would you encourage everybody here to dream, like, to let themselves have a big, like, child?

I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I can't wait to answer this question. Okay. Because when you dream big, you don't have any competition. There is no competition. Everybody dreams too small. And I don't mean unrealistic expectations. I think I heard Tony Robbins say once, if you're 5 foot 2 and your dream is to be an NBA center and star, come on, we got to get real. Yeah. But we also can set bigger expectations. And here's what I know. And maybe you can borrow my confidence in this. If you're listening today and you're just starting out, maybe you can borrow my courage only because I just. I'm just a few steps ahead of many of you. I've failed miserably, questioned myself, felt like an imposter, you know, all those things. But here's what I know, because I've been in business for myself. I've never worked for anybody in my entire life. Nicole. At 16 years old, I started cutting firewood. 17 years old, I bought my first wrecked car, fixed it up and flipped it. By 19, I got my first apartment house with no money, down from Mrs. Mary LoPresti. By 22 years old, I had Dean Collision Center. Then I had some tow trucks, and then I had apartments, and I was building houses. And then I transitioned into this industry after I bought a Tony Robbins course in 1997. I'm like, I want to be in the business of selling what I know. That's inspiring people, impacting people for a living. Sign me up. Right? So I just want to share that. But here's What I know in that whole journey, I can remember like it was yesterday, 19 or 20 years old, doing one of my first real estate deals. And back then I was hoping I could make 50 to 80 thousand dollars a year because nobody in my family had ever made that. And I remember the stress I went through to close this real estate deal. I didn't have the money. I was using credit cards, I was borrowing money from people. I was putting everything together, and I just wanted to make five grand on this deal. And it was an amazing $5,000 back then, might have been $5 million, right? And the stress I went through, and it almost fell through, and then the person didn't want to hold the paper, all these things at the last minute. I did it because I've been in business so long, I've done deals like that that are worth $50 million now, right? And I don't mean that like, look at me. But the same exact stress, the same exact worry, the same exact solution oriented thinking, the same same energy to deal with the human emotion of somebody sitting on the other side of the table, or the same human emotion to get in front of somebody when I'm nervous to talk. I was nervous to talk to somebody about a $5,000 deal. And in front of people. It's the same nerves. When we went live with McConaughey, two and a half million people. It's the same nerds. It's the same feeling. So if you're going to be stressed, if you're going to worry about if you're going to fail, you might as well have extra zeros at the end or extra impact at, like, if you're going to be stressed, go for something bigger, and then you have no competition.

I love that. I had not thought about that, but it's so true. I feel the same amount of nervousness in bigger things that I felt, you know, in a tiny thing 10 years ago. I love that. Everybody's loving it, too. Okay, so Brittany said, say that louder for the folks in the back. All right, I've got three more. Do you have time to go do it?

Well, I do. Let's go.

We'll do lightning round.

Let me see. In the chat, if you guys are. If you guys are enjoying this in the chat, say, and y' all hang out.

Can you hang out for about 10 more minutes? They said yes, they can. Okay, so number three is make the present your friend and visit me. So hard of, like, taking action so not. Not waiting for tomorrow. Like, literally, it put me on this track. Of every single day when I wake up, even if there's a kid home, it's sick or someone's got the flu or I'm sick, or it's pouring down rain outside, or my client canceled or the text not working, or I can't find Dean on the zoom to, like, ask, what is one thing I can do in the next five minutes? And that little strategy is the reason.

Why I love that.

It's just like, I've got five minutes. What can I do instead of waiting for five hours or five days? And so my question for you is, like, how. What's your hat? Because, I mean, clearly you just went through your laundry list of responsibilities. So even, like, for me, where I am. I'm listening to you, Dean. And I'm like, I want to be there. How. How is Dean? My question when you said that was, how are you managing your time differently than I am? In order.

I love this. I'm like. I'm like a horse at the starting gate. I just want to open the gate and share something I don't want. If I. If I cut you off, please. I'm apologizing, Nicole, in front of all of you. I just get excited about this.

I know. I know you like.

I get excited. So two things. Let's go. Two things really quick. Number one, the older I get, the more I realize that most stuff doesn't matter. Most. I want you to hear this. Most things, if you're in your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, even your 50s, 60s, if you haven't, use this as a practice. Most things you do, do not move the needle towards you, the woman you want to become or the man you want to become. They do not empower you. They don't serve God or whatever you believe. They don't serve your family. They're just things. And over the years, I just know that I want to say no to anything that's in the gray. So hear this for me. There are things that either move you towards the woman you want to become, or there are things that move you away from the person you want to become. And then there's the things in the gray. Ah, hanging out with my negative friend. Ah, surfing online. I might find something inspirational in between all the other crap. You know, I might. I go to Starbucks for five minutes. I usually stay for an hour and scroll while I'm there. There are this gray things in your life. The older I get, the more I say no to anything that's gray. It's easy to say no to the stuff that doesn't serve you. You get drunk three days a week. I'm not knocking some of this, but if you get drunk and you're not happy with doing that, you know, that's an easy say. I shouldn't drink that much three days a week because I feel like crap. It's not good for my health and I'm not getting things done. That's easy. Hanging out with a super negative friend that every time you leave them, you're like, I should be happy with my job, happy with the relationship I have, because this is as good as it gets. That's an easy one to go. I got to stop hanging out with her for a little while. But there's these gray moments that are just doing stuff that don't serve anybody. They don't move you forward, they don't move you backwards. So every year of my life, I eliminate the gray and I say no to mostly everything. What do I love now? I love being my wife. I love being with my four kids. I love making an impact on the world. I love the handful of partners and friends I have. Pretty much everything else in my life is as a no, Nicole, not a joke. Like, I don't go to. I get. When you're. When nobody knows you, you get invited to nothing. You wish you could go. I feel blessed. I'm. I get invited to everything and I turn down everything, right, because it doesn't fit into that bucket. The second part of. Of that is living. We know if you've ever read Eckhart Tolle or hear Michael Saylor, living in the present is where life is now. We know that. That's obvious. But what does that really mean? How do we boil it down to the everyday people like you and me? Here's what I know. When you think about the past, where you missed something, you procrastinated, you were scared, it failed. Does that empower you or disempower you? You can put it in the chat. 1 or 2. 1. It empowers you to. It disempowers you, right? Everybody knows thinking about. So we could use our past as fuel. But if we focus too much on it, it stops us in our tracks, right? Everybody's saying it too, right? It stops us in. Attracts. It's like, I've tried this before. It didn't work. My husband didn't support me that last time. I got scared. I'm too old for tech. All that crap we tell ourselves comes in. It stops you in the present. So we know that we know in the future. We can paint movies of the future that have not existed. We have all done. Oh, my God. And then they go down like, oh, and if I do this, and then if my friends think it's crazy and then it don't work, and then I waste this money and, oh, my God, I'll just stay right here. Right? So we know the past screws is up and the future screws us up. Then we could just say, I only have today, and then what I've done over the years. And I'm so glad to hear you say that. Like, sometimes it's really powerful that you forget the words you wrote. And then I'm watching somebody who's, I didn't do this. I gave you a little spark. You did it. I just gave you some reminders that I discovered a little bit before you. That's it, right? But I've boiled it down to, what could I do today? What can I do this hour? What can I do right now to move me forward? If I know this area is a no and I know this area is a gray? I call what things in my life are needle movers. You guys can call it anyone. I know there's certain things I do that will move the needle towards the man I want to become. So what I say is, what can I do in this next hour, this next 10 minutes that'll move me towards the man I want to become? And all of a sudden, I only have this minute. I only have this moment, and I can only do this one thing, and I move forward and shit starts. Excuse my language. Crap starts happening, things start moving, and I'm like, wow. Success leaves clues. Which was Jim Rohn old, you know, personal development teacher. Success does leave clues. So if you get rid of the gray, you take this uncomfortable action. You get disturbed with inaction. You move a little forward, go, wow, that wasn't that scary.

I love it.

I could probably do the next thing. Okay, I love it.

I love it. Not yesterday. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow never comes. Today is the moment. Number four. This is so important. You've already kind of touched on it, but don't be afraid to fail. I read this. My husband is a scientist. He is in the lab and literally his whole work, Dean, is failing. So they try to as many things they can do. They try to see how many things they can get to fail. So they can finally find the one drug that works right? The one component, cancer drugs. And when I read this, I was like, I am going to pretend like I'm a scientist. And so my Business is going to be science. And it's not about getting it right the first time. It's about doing it enough times to fail as much as I have to to figure out the one drug. Right. The one thing that's. That's going to work. So I think, you know, you saw this in the chat. How many people are afraid? And I think we all kind of take it personally when stuff doesn't go right. That was our idea or that we went for. And so I'd love it if you shared away with all that you've gone after. I mean, my goodness, you started with cars, you went to apartment complexes. Now you're changing. You're getting everybody in the world to go after their own business dreams. So what's like a failure? What's a way that you bounced back from a failure? Because I think it's like we all. We all can kind of say, yeah, yeah, it's. You know, it's okay to fail, but in that moment when the failure happens, and I had a failure happen for me last year, and. And it was like, shame. Like, I didn't want anyone to know. You know, it was just like this. I'm like, over here, and. And I was like, painting myself as a success, right? And then kind of in my closet, I'm like, I hope no one failures out. Yeah. So what's a way that you bounce, like, when that failure comes? What's something. What's an exercise? We can love it to keep us going.

So here's the thing. Please know when I share this, I am not the happy guy that says, oh, my God, I failed. I've learned so much from this. Someday this is going to be the most empowering story of my life. Like, I don't know anybody that's done that. The whole job is just shorten the pain that you go through, the suffering that you go through, the. The being stuck that you go through. Who. Listen, Nicole, we both know someone. If you know someone who's been through a horrific relationship or got cheated on, and it's months, years, or decades later, and they still can't allow themselves to have love, right? That breaks my heart so bad. We both know somebody who started a business with the wrong partner and it went bankrupt and would never consider a business again, even though it's the thing that could change their whole entire life, it's. They're hanging on something. And, you know, I love. I love Ogmundino's book, the World's Greatest salesman. He's got 10 scrolls in it, and One of the scrolls is, I will persist until I succeed. And in it, he says, what people don't remember or people forget is that the prize isn't at the end of the rainbow or the end of the journey. It's. It's not at the beginning of the journey. It's at the end of the journey. And in this journey, we have to go around a lot of corners of failure, a lot of things that go wrong. And we don't know if our next level of love, success, passion, income is around two corners or 20. We just have to keep persisting. And some people, we know their second corner, they nailed it. Good for them. And we also know other people that had. They're on their 30th corner going, all right, I'm doing one more, and eventually they find it, right? And I just believe if we could adapt that principle, that what if all the things that went wrong in your life that failed, that you were let down, someone let you down, that hurt bad. What if it was all designed by somebody bigger, stronger than us because you needed each one of these ingredients to be the woman you are today. You needed that heartbreak. You needed the failure. I know it doesn't mean it's easier, but it's just a different way to look at it. You could take your past and it could be your anchor, or you could go, hey, I went through that situation with all those marriages as a kid. I moved into my dad, and my dad was a little crazy when I was a kid, like, very violent. But it made me empathetic. It made me be able to go on stage and talk to people and feel their heart. Like, I can look at all the things. Like, God, I had a bleeding ulcer at 12 years old. I don't share that much, but I did because I was so scared of some of the stuff my dad would do and say. But by the time I was 14, I learned how to manage my dad, and we've had this amazing relationship for so long. He became a better human, and I became better at communicating and understand people's pain, right? So I could say, oh, I can't believe I had a bleeding ulcer. I say, oh, God, thank you, you for giving me a dad with that issue and allowing me to practice on someone so close. Like, we could just take any situation and go, it sucked. I hated feeling that way. I never told my friends. But right now, I don't have to live with it being sucky. I could go, thank God. I just can make that decision. So when you're Going through something bad. What I teach my kids, and I have two teenagers. The other ones are younger, but my two teenagers, I said my easy term for them since they were five is focus on the fix. And what I told them when they were 5 and 7 years old is I said, when you spill a glass of milk, you can go, why did it spill? Who spilt it? Why would you put it on an uneven table? Is it going to stain the carpet? Is it going to stink? Or you can go get a towel and a new damn glass of milk and move on. And make sure the next time you put the milk down, you put it in a different spot. Like, stop focusing on why. Whose fault? Why did it happen? How would they do that? They should be paid back. They're most likely not going to get paid back, and it's most likely not fair to you, and who gives a crap? Focus on the fix. Take uncomfortable action. That's how you keep moving forward.

All right? Everyone has to put in focus on the fix, on the chat, because that is gold. That is like. That is like me watching my kids learn to crawl, learn to walk. Right where they. Yeah, they. They push themselves. They stand up and they fall over, and. And I'm not like, oh, man, you're such a failure. You know, stop trying to walk.

Like, you're exactly like.

You realize that actually, like, anatomically. Is that a word? Like, physically, the fall is what makes someone able to walk. Right. Every time they fall over and push themselves back up, that's what builds the muscles so they can walk. So I love that. I love one. And then we'll be done. I stop overthinking. Oh, my gosh, this one was so, so golden. Because I had been dreaming of having my own business, writing books when I was a mom, had all these babies at home, and I would just think, think, think, think, think about it. And everything changed for me when I decided I was going to think less and do more and I would learn as I went. And I love this. For me, I was into the doing already when I read this book and your book, and. And it's been a commitment I've had from the beginning is, like, massive action. So, like, the minute I have an idea, I go ahead and I just test it. I don't wait until it's perfect. I don't try to have an A plus product. I just get it out there and see what people think about it. And that's literally changed my life. And I think so many people get stuck in their head and so I wondered if you had just a last little nugget.

I do, I do, I do. Once again, once again, anxious to share with you. Let me just ask, who would consider themselves in the chat? Put it in the chat so I can see who would consider. And. And if you're watching the replay of this, you could just write it on your own piece of paper. But. Or listening. Who would consider themselves a perfectionist? I would love to see in the chat. If you think you're perfectionist, say me. Right? Look at all the me's coming in. Can I tell you? Can I tell you, a lot of times perfectionism is just that you're scared.

Yeah.

And I don't mean that to be disrespectful. Please know I'm here to help shift you. If something I say disturbs you but you still go take action today, then I still win because that's my whole goal today, is to get you to move. Sometimes it's, hey, I want to start my own business, but I got to read all these things and I got to understand what LLC is mean. And then they have to understand how do you work your own website and how do you build your own social media following and how do you do this and how do you. And you set so many standards on yourself that I can move forward when. Yeah, bs. It's never going to happen. You are protecting yourself by layering so much crap that no one could get through it and make it perfect. And then you go, well, I would have done it, but I didn't. No, no, no. You have to listen. Number one, model proven practices. I am not telling anybody to go jump in when you don't know what you're doing. Find someone who's already done what you want to do and model them. Like following Nicole, like following Tony and I are doing something really cool. We'd love to invite every one of you here in a moment. Find somebody who's already done what you want to do and model proven practices. If. If you're going to go through the wilderness and you're in Brazil and you're going to go through the Amazon, you're going to go through the jungle and you're like, I got to get to the other side. It's 20 miles. Do you just run into the woods and go, I'll figure it out. You get bit by snakes, you fall in quicksand, get eaten by a spider, I don't know.

Right, right.

If somebody just a little bit down the road has a map and said, I've been Walking through these woods for 20 years. Here's the map for a buck. Buy the map, follow the map, model proven practices. Yeah, but once you have that, you have to jump out of the plane and grow wings on the way down. Yeah, they're. You're never going to feel confident. You're never going to feel 100% prepared. Those of you that are parents, have you ever felt 100% prepared to be a parent? I have four. I still know when I screw up. Like, I still will parent my 17 year old, who's going to be 18, and I'll come downstairs and be like, oh, I messed that up. I got to give it 10 minutes and go upstairs and apologize. I just did that wrong. Right. Like we still are. But. But we jumped in the first baby you bring home and there's black tar coming out of their butts and there's nobody telling you what to do. You're like, ah, right. We figure it out. We jumped out of the plane. We grow wings on the way down. It's the same thing here. We have to get the proven path. We got to be disturbed with our own inaction and stop overthinking. And the last thing I'll say is, how do you crush that? What? Here's the question. This is going to be a hard one. I'm going to end with this one. I'd love for some feedback in the chat or if you write it down, what has overthinking already cost you? It's already cost you way too much. It's already wasted years of your life. Stop it. Literally. Stop it.

Yeah.

And.

And you know, our children. I love the analogy. Our children don't want us to be perfect. Our children want us to be present. Right? And the world. All of you guys who are here, there are people waiting on you.

And they're.

They don't want you to be perfect because they're not perfect. They're not looking for a perfect business, a perfect consultant, a perfect coach. They're looking for you. They're looking for someone who's a few steps ahead of them. Just like Dean's ahead of me. And maybe I'm a little bit ahead of you. We're not. We don't want perfect, actually. We want present. We want real.

Absolutely.

And that's what. That's what you guys have to offer. Okay. Is Dean amazing? I mean, this was golden, Dean. And I am so sad I missed the first five minutes of your presence because I could talk to you, literally four hours. But guess what? You guys, the fun does not have to end. So Dean is doing actually more of this in June. We're just about a month away. Dean and he mentioned his partner, Tony Robbins, may have heard his name, I don't know. But they are doing this incredible event I actually got to attend a few years ago in 2019. Totally changed the way I see my business. And we want to invite you to. Now you can't get your seat yet. It's free. But I do have a little way that you guys can get on the wait list and that is with I have a little Instagram course. So you guys know I'm building my, my new Instagram course about how to grow your business on Instagram. And I have a mini version, a little, a little sneak peek at seven videos for my formula for growing on Instagram. And so I'm going to put the link to that in the chat. And when you get that, we're also putting you on the waitlist so you can be an attendee at Dean's event in June, which if today was like this, if it was this good for you today, it's going to be like this good in June. So give us a little, just a little sneak peek of what we're going to learn with you in June, Dean.

Yeah, I love, I mean, I'm in a place in my life where this, this is what drives me more than a. I hope you guys feel. I had such a good time with you, Nicole, and thank you for all the beautiful comments. I get to see all your comments. It lights us up. And if you can see the energy I have here with this amazing group in June, we should have close to a million people registered for this event. People that are dying to lean into their full potential, to find a path, to know where to start. How do I create a real business? How do I do something that can get. You said these words when we first met. How can I do something with no glass ceiling, but also gives me purpose and passion where I can't wake up and I can't wait to wake up in the morning. And I'm not talking about a magical money machine that doesn't exist anywhere, but what we do over three days is really show people how to gain the confidence to know they're not only meant for more, can do more, achieve more, succeed more, but they can actually find a path to do it. And we're going to teach you what our greatest skill is. How to identify the most amazing asset, the most valuable asset you own. It's exactly what Nicole does for a Living. How do you extract and share something? You do gardening or any other thing, an experience that you've had, a skill that you've learned through work, a passion that you love, and how to turn that into a business, how to turn it into a course, a workshop, a mastermind, how to do podcasts, how to take life experience. It doesn't cost you anything. You don't have to put it in the warehouse, you don't have to store it. But how do you do it with confidence? How do you do it in a way where you go, damn it, I can do that? So day one is showing you how to do that. Tony will bust every limiting belief you have around all of it. I will share the exact strategy of know what to teach, who to teach to, how to teach it. Day two, we turn selling into service. Because most people, okay, I got it, but I don't like to sell. I will bust that myth. If you feel my personality, I'm guaranteeing you, at the end of two days, the end of day two, you'd be like, I cannot wait to get people to say yes. But we're going to give you the path and plan. And day three, we're going to teach you how to share it with confidence. But in between that, we're calling the event. The Game has changed. Because I've been in this industry almost 30 years, Tony, 44. The last six months have changed everything. What used to take months or years can now take weeks, hours, or minutes. So we are going to share some stuff in this three days, and we're going to work together over these three days. It's going to blow your mind. If you've tried and failed, be there. If you're just curious, be there. If you're in business, be there. It's. It's what we did today, but with more structure, process steps, and systems to make it real. And if. And you're giving away that training.

We are. They get it for free.

Okay, so if. If it takes to get that training, to get on the waitlist, go get that training right now. Get on the wait list. Then when you get the link, when it's time, here's what I'm gonna encourage you to do. And I mean this. If you liked what I shared today, this is. I promise you, you will thank Nicole 10 times over for being at this event. And I would say pretend you paid a thousand bucks for it, it's free. But pretend you paid a thousand bucks, because then you'll show up. But I would say when you get the Link. The first thing you should do is go register, watch the next two videos. They're really important to set everything up. And then immediately take that link that Nicole gives you. And I would put a text string of your best friends and say, let's do it together. Find two or three. Even. Even the people that are a little negative in your life, I promise between Tony and I will crush it out of them. They will become your new optimistic friend. So I would say take the link Nicole gives you and Nicole, remind them of that, put it in a joint text string and say, let's do this together. And I'm excited.

All right, so we are going to define happiness. We're going to go for bigger goals. We are going to not be afraid of failure. We're going to make the present our in. And everyone, we are going to stop overthinking. Can we all agree to that? No more overthinking. And what was the fix? Focus on the fix. Oh, my goodness. That's going on my wall. So thank you, Dean, so much for your time. I cannot wait to hang out with you and learn from you in June. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. And we've got that link for the course to get on the waitlist right in the chat. Dean, you're. You're literally golden in the way you give back to us and continue to teach from all your experience is so good. I could tell just from today. Yeah. Like your. Your genuine care for all of us to. To grow into the next level of ourselves is so great. So thank you for pouring into me and to all of us here, and we'll see you in June.

Bye, everybody. See you soon.

Bye. Thank you guys. See you soon. Thanks so much for listening to the Grow youw Self podcast. You can keep listening anywhere. You love getting your podcast delivered on Apple podcasts, on Spotify, iHeartRadio, you name it, we are there for you. And if you want to read the notes and get our free resources to help you grow more, you can go to gardenary.com podcast.