In this People Magic podcast episode, host Gina Bianchini answers a listener who runs a small knitting community and is upset about a single member’s cancellation. Gina explains why creators naturally fixate on the lone unsubscribe, describing it as a fear response rooted in our wiring to notice loss. She then offers a step‑by‑step reframing framework: (1) shift focus from the canceling member to the 99 members who love the community; (2) stay curious about who is staying, what experiences are working, and what can be learned from the loss; (3) view cancellations as data for iterating the pitch, refining the value proposition, and confirming whether the community is attracting its ideal members. Gina stresses the importance of saying “no to say yes” – using cancellations to identify non‑ideal members and protect time for those who truly benefit. She encourages an abundance mindset, treating each unsubscribe as an experiment that fuels growth rather than evidence of failure. Throughout, she blends personal anecdotes, psychological insight, and practical advice to help community builders maintain confidence, iterate their offering, and keep building a $1 million digital business.
Chapters
If you are spending your time on people who your community is not right for, who are not into it, stop and say, what can I learn from this? Hi, I'm Gina Bianchini, and this is People Magic, where I am showing you step by step the easiest way to create a $1 million digital business. I'm psyched that you're joining me. So here is our first question.
Hi, Gina. I run a small but lively knitting community. Up until recently, we had 10 members, but then someone canceled their membership and I'm taking it pretty hard. Everyone else seems happy with the community, but I'm fixating on the one who left. Am I taking this too personally or is this a sign of failure?
This is such a great question. So First and foremost, let's talk about the fear of creating a digital business that is all about bringing people together. And the reality is that when we start these kinds of businesses, we start them with the most excitement. This is gonna be amazing. I'm gonna help people unlock results and transformation in their lives. And when someone then tells you they don't get it, They're busy. They don't see the full value in it. You could have 99 people absolutely love it, and we are wired to focus on the one person who doesn't get it or who unsubscribes. That's just a reality that I wish was not true. I certainly would have more fun if that was not the case, that I could say, See the 99 people who are having an incredible transformational experience versus that one person who's like, hmm, why would I use you guys? Or can't we just do this on a Facebook group or WhatsApp? Or, hmm, I think I'm just too busy for this. So there is that fear. And in my experience, it's best to just call it by its name. Put it out there. Surround yourself with other people on the same path that you are on building this kind of digital business. That's why we have a community of hosts at Mighty Networks called Mighty Community, amongst other communities that we have behind more and more VIP levels. But fundamentally, as I think about these fears, anything that you can do and the people around you can do to focus you in on what is working as opposed to opposed to what is not working is super important. When people are unsubscribing, that feels like failure. And so we need to go into talking about how to reframe the things that feel like failure as you are building your digital business, when they are in fact the workshopping and the experimentation and the rapid learning that you need to go through. You gotta go through that path. To unlock growth and success. How do you talk about things that are surprising and awesome when you are seeing people unsubscribe, which is the equivalent of breaking up with you? Or at least that's how it feels. First and foremost, I get it. You can have 99 people have an incredible experience, but if one person is like, mm, I don't know, it is so hard not to second-guess yourself and want that person back. They rejected you on some level, or what it feels like. I wanna offer a reframing. And reframing, reframing, reframing is the best tool in your toolbox, whether you choose to build a paid membership or course or run any kind of business, or in general interact with other human beings. Reframing allows you to process and accept That first reaction, that first fear, that first sense of, oh my gosh, I'm failing, or, oh my gosh, no one likes me and I should just go give up. Or the worst part when you're bringing people together is what if you have a party and nobody shows up? To me, that is my most terrifying fear. It stops me from doing so many different things that I want to go ahead and host. Because I'm afraid I'm gonna have a party and nobody's gonna show up. I have had to figure this out for myself because otherwise I'm living a very limited life and it's not that much fun. So what I've learned and what I would encourage you to embrace as well is this is the moment to stay curious. So step number 1 is, wait a second, who is not Unsubscribing? Who is not unsubscribing? What is the experience they are having? What's working? So instead of going to that place of fear of like, oops, I'm failing, I had a party and nobody's showing up, you go to a place of, okay, wait a second. Number one, what is new and fun and energizing for me to do? Then the second piece is, well, what is working? Starting to build on new and interesting things that you can do with what is working. And finally, asking yourself the question, is this a blessing in disguise? Is this a blessing in disguise? Is this the opportunity to say no to people who this isn't right for and wish them well and be comfortable with that because you are coming from a place of abundance, that there are lots of people going through The transition that you're serving by serving your ideal member or the transition of your ideal member for whom you've created a paid membership or a course. Focus there. One of the sayings that we have here at Mighty is say no to say yes. If you are spending your time on people who your community is not right for, who are not your ideal members, or Even potentially the people you thought were your ideal members and they're showing up and they're not into it. It's an opportunity to reframe and stop and say, what can I learn from this? What am I supposed to learn from this? The more that you stay in perfectionism, you stay in failure. The more that you stay in these stories that we tell ourselves, like people are just busy. Oh, I guess my ideal member is just too busy. They're unlike anybody else on the planet. who is hungry for community today and finding people on the same path. They're not too busy. They're not any different. This is your opportunity. Your opportunity is to go deeper and stay curious. And most of all, if it's not quite working, go back and ask yourself the question, is my pitch one that I can give with confidence Even in those moments that I'm nervous, even in those moments where I'm not so sure that I should be doing this, you absolutely should be doing this because your ideal members need you to do this. They need your community to exist in the world, and they are happy to pay you because people pay attention to what they pay for and people pay for progress. So you can invest in identifying and exploring and brainstorming. And you can look at unsubscribes or cancellations as opportunities to learn, not more evidence of your failure, because it's simply not true. You are not failing. You are on the path to success with people who need your community the most right now. And creating the experiences and helping them build the relationships for your ideal member to navigate challenges, to seize opportunities, and ultimately create results and relationships that they simply did not think were possible when they started on the journey. I have just seen it so many times that I know it's going to happen for you as well. I'm Gina. This is People Magic. Until next time.
