Don’t Be Afraid of Failing

Lovey is a hero of mine. She is a 4-time New York Times bestselling author, blogger, social media and creator superstar, community builder, and someone that I'm just generally in awe of. And so I'm going to bring her on board. Like, can we go ahead and have some claps?

Woo!

Lovey, thank you so much for joining. And like, what I just am so grateful for is that you are just a person who inspires me. Your books are amazing. You bring your your energy to everything you do. And so anyways, I'm just super excited to have you. Now, I don't know if you know this, but I think you kind of do. January is like the Super Bowl for memberships, community, new frameworks, things you want to do in your life, things that you want to do differently and better, or just differently.

Yeah.

And so what I want to focus in on first in our conversation is How have you thought about January in your, you know, in your past, your present? And as you think about 2025, what does it look like for you?

So January is a special month for me because it's also my personal new year because I'm a Capricorn. January 5th is my birthday.

Happy birthday, Capricorn!

Thank you. The goat is in the building. Okay, the goats are in the building. Um, January has always been a great month for me in general. And this January is also very special because I turned 40. Happy birthday.

Happy big birthday.

Right? It's a big birthday. It's— I am energized for what next year has. And January is definitely a crossing over into the realm of going even deeper in my purpose. So like, I'm excited for January because I am actually launching something in January.

You know, it's one of those— so first of all, thank you for sharing. And You know, as entrepreneurs, and for those of you who have been entrepreneurs, those of you who are starting out as entrepreneurs, what I, what I want to really focus in on this, focus this conversation in on, is the fact that you had the courage to do that. But also, you are like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Yeah.

One of the reasons I became an entrepreneur was because I wanted the confidence to be able to be dropped into any situation.

Yes.

To lose everything in my life.

Yes.

And to be able to build it back up from scratch. I wanted to be able to be dropped in anywhere and figure out what was around. And so one of the things that we see a lot, and we've seen it sometimes here in the summit so far, is just a lot of A fear of, what if I fail? What if it doesn't work? What if it, you know, isn't what people want and I look stupid? Or, or I spent all of this money and I'm out. And what I think is so important about this conversation is that you, on some level, are living and have lived through in the last year the worst-case scenario. Yeah.

Yeah.

And not only are you here, but you are here with a stronger sense of purpose.

Yep.

And we're gonna get to that in a moment. And that you also had the courage to look at it and say, number one, and I'm, we're going to tease this out, I can't be the hero. I want to be the host. Like, as the entrepreneur, I want to be a host of something more, not the, the entire business relies on me. Yeah.

I mean, here's the thing, in terms of like the fear of like, what if you fail? Yeah. What if you fail? What if you do fail? Okay. What if the whole thing comes crumbling down? Yeah. Worst case scenario. So, but what the, what if you fail? What happened last year for me was that despite my efforts, I failed. Despite the mentors, I failed. Despite the executive coach, I failed, which meant that it was a massive global divine personal professional signal that something had to shift majorly, right? How I was operating had to shift. Where I actually think one of the major lessons of last year was that— so I've been building a business. I have been building a platform. I have been on these internets for the last 14 years. I actually started my blog 21 years ago. I've been working for myself for 14 years. Who I was back then and the way I set my business up to be really around just my brain power had expired. So what happens when you go past a season that has expired for you? You basically get the stick thrown at your head. Hey, hey, pivot. We get so afraid to pivot because we're so comfortable with the way we've been doing things. I think, yes, like last year's major lesson was that you are beyond the assignment you were in. Like, you have a new assignment now, and I need you to focus on that assignment. Your business needs to shift, and your focus also needs to shift. Because also, as entrepreneurs, as creatives, we will find ourselves doing 8 things at the same time, right?

Right, right.

Forced me to pause. Stop, actually, not just pause, stop and say, okay, what do I need to be doing right now? Who do I need to be serving? How do I need to be serving them? What is energizing to my spirit that can also be profitable? And it was in that pause. I mean, I was actually very clear what it would be even throughout the year, but my team could not figure it out. In that is when I launched my book academy. That has been what has rebuilt my company. But it took me stopping, pausing, getting very clear, removing the distractions of all the other randomness, and being basically in what I consider the valley of my company and my professional life, that I was able to go, okay, clarity, focus, here's the direction, go that way.

How did you start to tease out what brought you energy and started to rebuild the next chapter?

You know what's funny is all along I've known what would bring me energy, but I did not pause and didn't have time and didn't have the capacity to make it happen. I knew something that was tied to my purpose, but— and I had told the old team, I'm gonna need you to help me execute this, but they couldn't execute basic shit. So by the time It was— I was like, I can't trust you with that dream, right? I was like, I can't trust y'all with that dream, so I'm gonna wait. So when I fired everybody— so I'm— this timeline is gonna be crazy. So by July 1st, I had let go of everybody but one person on my team.

Wow.

Everybody starting over. I immediately was like, now I have the space and the clarity to do what I actually want to do next that I know will create impact for people. After hitting the New York Times bestseller list 4 times in 4 different categories— because I wrote a teenage book, I've written a kid's book, 2 adult books, one hardcover, one paperback— I knew I was uniquely positioned to be somebody who helped other people, especially people who are on the margins to get their books out and not just get them out, but sell them well. Because all of my books have been not just New York Times bestsellers, but they continue to sell as perennial titles. So I was like, oh, finally I can actually teach people how to write books. So I launched the Book Academy July 15th after firing everybody July 1st.

So 15 days Amazing.

Okay. 15 days, I sent out an email to 3,000 people who had joined a waitlist that I randomly just posted online. And I said, hey, I want to help you make your dreams come true when it comes to books. I want to help you become a successfully published author. So I'm launching the founding cohort of the Book Academy, which is a 6-session course with me that will teach you how to go from idea to ink. I will teach you The business of publishing. I'll teach you how to get clarity on your first book idea. I will also teach you how to market it so it flies off the shelves.

Yeah. Can I just put a pot— like, I just— I'm gonna put a pin in this for one second. Does anybody hear the transition that Lovey not only just went through, but the transition that she zeroed in on for the Authors Academy?

Mm-hmm.

It was I don't have a book. I want to be an author. That is a transition. Now, this is, this is the thing that drives me crazy. That is not a niche. That is a transition. Transitions are easier to build businesses because that those 3,000 people, they could raise their hand because they knew what it was that they wanted to go do. So keep going. But I just think it's a really, really good example of something we've been talking about a lot over the last couple of days.

And I tested it out being like, I had a team of 7, couldn't figure this out, let's do it with the team of 1. So I hired— I had my 1 person who I didn't fire, and then I had the 1 per— I went on like Fiverr and Upwork and got a project manager for this. And I didn't even use social media, right? I only used social media to throw up a lead magnet. But that 3,000 people signed up for the lead magnet, they got the notes about the book academy, and from there, 270 people signed up for the first cohort.

Wow. And just to add a couple more details. So what was the— what was the lead magnet?

The lead magnet was 5 mistakes, which I still have, 5 mistakes that people make when they try to write books.

Wow.

Because I wanted to come out the gate, give you some value, right? And then you want to write a book? Great. I am the person who can tell you because I'll tell you, every single one of my books, my adult books, I wrote those in 5 months. So not only am I somebody who can teach you how to write a good book, I can then—

Write it fast.

Write fast and impactful book, right? I don't want to just write a random book just to get money, people's money. I want you to write a book that actually will make impact and that will stick with people, that they will want to quote and give to their friends and say, you know what, have you read this? You should read this, right? And then I want to help you make sure you brand it properly and get it together, and it's a whole thing. So the book academy became my focus. I eliminated everything. I was like, I'm going all in.

Can I ask, can I ask one question? So, so you had 3,000 people and then 270 people signed up?

Yep.

And how much did you charge?

$495.

$495. Okay. Just so everybody at home— and $495 for 6 sessions. Were they weekly sessions?

Weekly sessions over a month and a half. And we had a community cohort. So they got to be in community with each other. They got to create, you know, this— these relationships. Some of my Book Academy alum are on this call. Shout out to y'all. Okay, because— and then after the— that first cohort, I was listening to what they needed.

And I was like, I want to be a testimonial here. Lisa says worth every penny. Worth every penny. So Course community cohort.

Yes, course community cohort. And then after that cohort, I heard what they were saying that they needed next. Then we did a book proposal program, okay, where in 10 weeks I walked them through and taught how to write your book proposal. Lisa, who is actually on here, is one of my star students. When Lisa started with the Book Academy in July of last year, she had her book idea in mind. She took the Book Proposal Power Program, finished her book proposal in 10 weeks, got her agent. Her book is now coming out next May, right? 2 years, less than 2 years after she took my book academy.

Let's, let's just have a moment and plug Lisa's book. What is Lisa's book?

It's called Space to Exhale, and it's a handbook on how to live a soft, serene, calm life.

Oh my gosh.

So it's gonna be coming out soon. Y'all look out for that because I'm always gonna Show love to my Book Academy alums. Okay.

I love that.

And I'm so proud. And Lisa, actually, I was telling her that she's actually a prime example of what happens when I double down on my purpose and other people do the work and reflect it back to me, right? So she was an affirmation for me to show that honestly, you going all in on the Book Academy was the right move because you already have all these victory notes. But it took me firing everybody It took me stopping all the things to finally be like, ah, okay, deep purpose. This is where it needs to go. This is the direction. Eliminate all the things. Because we also are so afraid of all the eggs in one basket. Think about it like this: 80% is not one basket. Because I put Book Academy into my 80%, and I said, for the rest of the things that I care about, 20%. But my 80% of my focus, my resources, my energy goes into serving my Book Academy students. So that was the first cohort at $495, and now it's going to be— is this different? My second cohort actually paid double. And we have a community in Mighty Networks called Office Hours where we still bring people who tap into Office Hours every month. We give them a different workshop related to books. So last month I brought one of my friends who is an editor at Penguin Random House to talk to my students for an hour. So yeah, it's great. And here's the other thing too, Gina, that I realized that I think a lot of us bypass. I am so deeply confident at what I know, what I teach, what I have done, that I am like, the value that I offer I don't feel any qualms about charging what I charge for it because you will make that back multiple times if you follow my teachings. So that's the thing. I know a lot of us sometimes struggle with pricing. We sometimes struggle with, um, charging people certain things. Here's the thing, the next Book Academy cohort is going to be at $1,000 because I told the first cohort back in the day in July, I said, I know the reason I'm pricing it at $495 is because I'm gonna consider this a beta test. Let's see if what I know is real. Let's see if it actually works. And the— I already said in advance, like, this is the lowest it will ever be. And here's the thing, is every cohort is the lowest it will ever be. Because if I continue to raise the price because I realize the value is going up and up and up, it's still going to be worth it. So for those of us who are entrepreneurs who struggle with pricing struggle with charging, stand in the confidence of what you know. Because here's the thing, there's— I have very few peers in this arena, and I can say that full chest.

Yeah.

I have very few people who can say, I have hit the New York Times bestselling list 4 times in 4 different categories across age groups, across multiple years, and no, I am, I am batting 1,000. So there's so many of us who walk around with expertise who are walking around with credentials that very few other people have. We especially cannot be shy about knowing the value of the work that we're going to do. And the one thing about me is I always overdeliver.

Now, so here's, here's my mission for 2025.

Yes.

My mission for 2025 is to teach people how to value their their very first cohort, especially if they are fearful that it's going to be too small, to charge what they would charge for one-on-one consulting or coaching and some, because the cohorts themselves are going to start to get more and more valuable.

Can I tell you, I would tell you like, so I saw people say like, Lovey doesn't have imposter syndrome. But I've had imposter syndrome before, and it didn't serve me. I've walked in the room. So, so in 2016, Oprah Winfrey came out with a list of her Super Soul 100, which is 100 people who she thinks are elevating humanity. And this list had like Brené Brown, Adam Grant, you know, it had Ava DuVernay on it. It had all these big names and me. And I remember when I first got the email, I sent it to spam because I was like, that is obviously fake.

Right, right.

They— that was not for me. That was not for me. And I sent it to spam. And then I got a phone call that was like, hey, have you received our— and I was like, that was real? That was for—

I'm included?

That's crazy. And I'm just like, you know— and I walked in that room because she did like a special brunch for the Super Soul 100. And I walked in the room and I was like— and I walked up to one of her staff people and I was like, no, so like, Oprah actually knows who I am? Like, she chose me? They were like, literally, we have— we had names for her, pictures, and she was like, no, no, yes, yes. And I was like, whoa, that's crazy. Here's the thing, here's the thing. Imposter syndrome does not serve you if you are a good person who knows their shit. Imposters— who benefits from your imposter syndrome? As women, especially if you are a woman in this world that has done so much to diminish us. No, you do not benefit from imposter syndrome. The world does, because then the world gets to cheat you, take advantage of you, tell you you're not dope when you dope as hell. So I'm just like, imposter syndrome doesn't serve me when I know that the words that I have, that I know that the work that I have, that I know that the books that I've written can change lives because people have told me. Imagine if I'm shy about talking about the book.

Don't be shy.

Imagine if I'm shy about being like, hey, I wrote this thing. that when you read it will embolden you and give you all sorts of like gumption to move different. Even my book editor got promoted because of this book, because there's a chapter in this book that tells you how to ask for a raise. She didn't just ask for a raise, she got promoted. And she said that publicly, that as a result of reading my chapter that she edited, she got a promotion. So that's why I'm like, listen, we have spent way too much time not being confident. We have spent way too much time doubting and questioning our purpose, our goodness, our mission. And everybody else gets to take advantage of the fact that we're not confident about it. And I'm like, the more of us who can step and stand full chest, feet on the ground, Chin up. Everybody wins because now the ones who come in behind us can see us moving confidently, so we can model that for them and they can know that they also deserve full respect, full payment, all of that. Like, so I'm like, you know what, I want my confidence— I'm confident like this because I want my 21-year-old niece to see me move through the world and be like Why shouldn't I be confident? Why shouldn't I ask for a raise? Why shouldn't I show up feeling like I'm the best thing that that room has? And then I will back it up with the work and the way that I show up, right? I'll back it up with the value that I bring. I will back it up with the fact that I will leave that room better than I found it. Yeah. So—

Can I add even one more thing that you're modeling here right now, and you model in every of your interactions, which is infectious joy?

Yes.

Like, when you have confidence, you actually can be more playful.

Yes. Yes.

And if you— if just tying it back to you show up with infectious joy, which does serve us, and then you attract people who want to share in that infectious joy, that humor, that, that fun. That being able to do hard things, but with a sense of joy and energy. And when that stopped being who you were surrounding yourself with every day, you found a different path.

And the confidence opens you up to failing because you realize even if you fail, it doesn't mean your worth is diminished. The confidence lets you know that your biggest mistakes are not you. Esther Perel, um, when her and I were in conversation, she says she defines confidence as knowing you have flaws, but knowing you are worthy anyway.

Yeah.

So that's the thing. That's why I can show up here and tell you about how I failed, how my company crumbled. And I still know I'm good. I still know that I'm worthy. I still know that I am great at what I do, right? So the confidence, when we don't have it, we think the failure means now we really should take ourselves out the game. That confidence insulates you for the failures, right? It lets you know that the failure is just part of the journey. It's part of the testimony. It's part of the story, because every hero needs a hero's journey. Yeah, right. Heroes need the valley moment. So then you show us how you went from valley to the peak.

So, Lovie, thanks again. Really appreciate it. I am on such a high from this, and I hope you have A wonderful rest of your day.

This has been energizing to my spirits. What a great way for me to start my Thursday.

Awesome. Thank you so much. Woo! Is there something holding you back from starting a community? No followers, no email list, not enough time or a team to do it? Well, after helping tens of thousands of people get started building communities, courses, challenges, and events, here is what I know. You need just one thing to get started. Join a community. And that's why I'm hosting the People Magic Summit on January 22nd and 23rd. This free virtual event is designed to help you build a $1 million community in 2025, surrounded by a supportive community and with step-by-step instruction that is going to make it so easy. To get started. I want 2025 to be your breakthrough year, and a free 2-day summit where you're learning alongside people on the same path, well, it seems like a pretty easy way to get there. Register now at summit.mightynetworks.com.