Reframing Failure, Leading with Fun

I get it. You can have 99 people have an incredible experience, but if one person is like, I don't know, I think I'm too busy for this, it is so hard not to second guess yourself. Hi, I'm Gina Bianchini and this is People Magic where I am showing you Step by step, the easiest way to create a $1 million digital business. In this episode, I'm going to tackle my favorite part of creating People Magic, which is the best year ever. I am excited to have you join me. So here is our first question.

Hi, Gina. I'm in the beginning stages of my online community and I'm having a really hard time watching people Cancel their membership. So I don't know what to do to help prevent that. And I really don't know where to begin because it's not really making me feel awesome about this process. Uh, any help will be super appreciated. Thanks.

This is such a great question. So first and foremost, let's talk about the fear of creating a digital business that is all about bringing people together and the Reality is that when we start these kinds of businesses, we start them with the most excitement. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to help people unlock results and transformation in their lives. And when someone then tells you they don't get it, they're busy, they don't see the full value in it, you could have 99 people Absolutely love it. We are wired to focus on the one person who doesn't get it or who unsubscribes. I certainly would have more fun if that was not the case—that I could see the 99 people who are having an incredible transformational experience versus that one person who's like, "Why would I use you guys?" Or Can't we just do this on a Facebook group or WhatsApp? Or, hmm, I think I'm just too busy for this. So there is that fear. And in my experience, it's best to just call it by its name, put it out there, surround yourself with other people on the same path that you are on building this kind of digital business. That's why we have a community of hosts. At Mighty Networks called Mighty Community, amongst other communities that we have behind more and more VIP levels. But fundamentally, as I think about these fears, anything that you can do and the people around you can do to focus you in on what is working as opposed to what is not working is super important. So the most important thing in this question is the munging together Of your best year ever and the path to identifying the best year ever for your ideal members, the people who need your community the most right now because they are in transition, and the fundamental fear of failure. Because when people are unsubscribing, that feels like failure. And so we need to reframe that sense of failure, but I want to separate it out. from the best year ever because they are 2 different things. So let's go ahead and start with the best year ever and why it's so important and why it is also, I will make the strong case for, so much fun and so much fun to work on and think about. And there is a method to the best year ever that I'll also share with you in a moment. And then We'll go into talking about how to reframe the things that feel like failure as you are building your digital business, when they are in fact the workshopping and the experimentation and the rapid learning that you need to go through. You got to go through that path to unlock growth and success. So let's start. With the best year ever. So in the last episode, we talked about your ideal member. This is the human being plus the transition that they are in and want to navigate with people who are like them. That is your ideal member. Now, people pay for progress. Your ideal member is there because they are moving from point A where they're starting today. To the world that they live in after they've navigated this transition. So for example, if they just moved to a new city, the after is their group of friends, or the ability for a new mother to find the people that are on the same path as them and their partner and their new baby. And navigating that as first-time parents, that is getting to the other side. Well, navigating that transition, that is progress. And on the other side of that progress is the best year ever. So the best year ever is the life that your ideal member is leading as a result of being a member of your community. It includes the best year ever in terms of why they joined in the first place. They just moved to a new city. Well, in their best year ever, they've probably made the best friends of their lives. They've met their partner. They have gone on some epic trips all around their new city. And they always have a set of people who are there on the same path going through life together. Or something more specific. What is the best year ever for somebody who is just starting out running for the first time? Well, they are accomplishing not just that 5K, but maybe they've run their first marathon, or they have made incredible friends that together they're taking on Tough Mudder or a triathlon, or they've realized it's not for them, but they still made some incredible friends in the process. These are things that live within the best year ever. So I know we're only a couple episodes in, but one of the things you'll learn about me is I find formulas to be so helpful and so much more memorable. So what is the best year ever? It is progress. It takes your ideal member from where they are today and the transition that they are navigating Into a future that is awesome. And it is awesome because the best year ever is a simple formula of results plus memorable details equals the best year ever. So is it enough? If you're like, Gina, I'm not going to like talk about this best year ever, like I want to be realistic. I'm starting a community for first-time engineering managers, and that's just not the way my people think. But even first-time engineering managers like to think about their best year ever. And as you're thinking about what you can offer in your membership, what you can offer in your online course, what you can offer in a challenge or an event, it is so much more fun and so much more effective To not just stop at results, but take the results and then add unexpected, novel, and very memorable details to their best year ever. In a world where we have so many, so many different things coming at us, and our phone is like— I think the latest is like, on average, it's approximately 1 zillion messages that any of us are, are processing in any given hour of any given day. If you do not look to memorable details that can be absolutely aspirational— they do not have to be exactly what you're going to get somebody in a year from now. They can be something that you aspire to and the community aspires to. For example, the best year ever is that we as First-time engineering managers not only kick ass in our role and inspire and coach our teams to success that was unimaginable at the beginning of the year, but then also our product went viral. It had a massive impact on our industry. Now that sounds pretty great. It sounds really fun to think about. Even the most skeptical person is going to remember that articulation, that painting of the picture of the best year ever. All right, so that's your ideal member's best year ever. Now back to the question: how do you talk about things that are surprising and awesome when you are seeing people unsubscribe, which is the equivalent of breaking up with you? Or at least that's how it Feels. I get it. You can have 99 people have an incredible experience, but if one person is like, "I don't know. I think I'm too busy for this." It is so hard not to second guess yourself and want that person back. They rejected you on some level, or what it feels like. I want to offer a reframing, and reframing. Is the best tool in your toolbox, whether you choose to build a paid membership or course or run any kind of business or in general interact with other human beings. Reframing allows you to process and accept that first reaction, that first fear, that first sense of, oh my gosh, I'm failing, or, oh my gosh, no one likes me and I should just go give up. Or the worst part when you're bringing people together is what if you have a party and nobody shows up? To me, that is my most terrifying fear. It stops me from doing so many different things that I want to go ahead and host because I'm afraid I'm going to have a party and nobody's going to show up. Well, I have had to figure this out for myself because otherwise I'm living a very limited life and it's not that much fun. So what I've learned and what I would encourage you to embrace as well is the moment that you reframe from the thing that is fearful to something much more constructive. So for example, the question was, how can I focus on the best year ever when I am watching people unsubscribe or I'm watching people cancel their membership or never show up to my online course, obviously on other platforms. This is the moment to stay curious. So step number 1 is, wait a second, the best year ever might actually be the reason that people are going to stay. So I should probably double down on doing something new, exploring that Best year ever. Plus it's really fun to do and I need something fun because it's super depressing to watch somebody unsubscribe or cancel. The second thing is, okay, who is not unsubscribing? Who is not unsubscribing? What is the experience they are having? What's working? So instead of going to that place of fear of like, oops, I'm failing, I had a party and nobody's showing up, you go to a place of, okay, wait a second. Number one, what is new and fun and energizing for me to do? Figure out a much tighter ideal member with their best year ever. Awesome. Then the second piece is, well, what is working? Starting to build on new and interesting things that you can do with what is working. And finally, asking yourself the question, is this a blessing in disguise? The opportunity to say no to people who this isn't right for and wish them well and be comfortable with that because you are coming from a place of abundance, that there are lots of people going through the transition that you're serving by serving your ideal member. Focus there. One of the sayings that we have, uh, here at Mighty is say no to say yes. If you are spending your time on people who your community is not right for, who are not your ideal members, or even potentially the people you thought were your ideal members and they're showing up and they're not into it, it's an opportunity to reframe and stop and say, what can I learn from this? What can I learn from this? What am I supposed to learn from this? And the more that you stay in perfectionism, the more that you stay in failure, the more that you stay in these stories that we tell ourselves, like people are just busy. Oh, I guess my ideal member is just too busy. They're unlike anybody else on the planet who is hungry for community today and finding people on the same path. They're not too busy. They're not any different. This is your opportunity. Your opportunity is to go deeper and stay curious. And most of all, trust these formulas. If it's not quite working, go back and ask yourself the question, well, is my ideal member clear enough? Is their best year ever awesome enough? And is my pitch One that I can give with confidence, even in those moments that I'm nervous, even in those moments where I'm not so sure that I should be doing this. You absolutely should be doing this because your ideal members need you to do this. They need your community to exist in the world, and they are happy to pay you because people pay attention to what they pay for, and people pay for progress. So you can invest in identifying and exploring and brainstorming and having a vision board for your ideal member and their best year ever. And you can look at unsubscribes or cancellations as opportunities to learn, not more evidence of your failure. Because it's simply not true. You are not failing. You are on the path to success with people who need your community the most right now and creating the experiences and helping them build the relationships for your ideal member to navigate challenges, to seize opportunities. And ultimately create results and relationships that they simply did not think were possible when they started on the journey. I have just seen it so many times that I know it's going to happen for you as well. I'm Gina. This is People Magic. Until next time.

Bye.

Thanks for listening to People Magic. Want more of a deep dive on today's topic? Well, check out People Magic Profit, my 9-part free masterclass on how to launch your own wildly profitable paid membership and community. Do you have your own burning questions you'd like me to discuss on this podcast? Well, I want to hear them. So Leave your questions in the review section and keep tuning in.