Ep24 - Dr. Ian Brooks - Bridging the GAP from drive to intention

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What is the roadmap to defeat self sabotage, negative thinking and learned helplessness in these unprecedented times? You must get connected, get growing, get certain and get attitude. The Get Attitude Podcast. And welcome to the Gap, the award winning Get Attitude podcast. And today. Oh man, today I got something special for you. If you are ready to get on fire, if your, if your match and your candle is flickering, I'm telling you, I think I got the guy for you. We have the great Dr. Ian Brooks getting ready to come into the studio virtually with us. And Dr. Brooks is a master of this thing called intention. Have you ever wondered if you live a life of intention, do you even know what intention means? Have you ever defined intention? Have you ever thought about intention? Or did you say damn, I didn't intend to do that. I didn't intend to not get to the destiny that I know I belong to. See, he is the founder of the roadsmith.com website and consulting and coaching company. He has both personal and professional coaching. He has a group coaching program called Master your intentions. I'm telling you what, get ready, hold on because this guy is going to inspire you. This guy is going to help you understand what your intention is and this guy is going to get you some attitude. So let's get some with Dr. Ian Brooks. What's up, Dr. Brooks?

I'm doing well, Glenn. How are you doing today?

I'm very, very good. Welcome from California. We got a guy out there on the west coast and we're here to talk about your book, about the work you do with people that are like, just like us listening to. How do we get, how do we bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to go? How do we bridge the gap between who we are and who we want to become? And that's what you're here to do today. You're here to talk to us about bridging that gap so our listeners get on fire. So you ready to get going?

I'm absolutely ready to get started and hope, hopeful, hopeful tips that we're going to be sharing today and look forward to our conversation.

All right, very good. So I always Love to start the show and ask you, what's your definition of attitude? And who were your two best attitude coaches?

Yeah, my definition of attitude is really, really simple. It's based off that mental and emotional entity and purpose on which we live and how we operate and what characterizes us as a person. I know my attitude has come from a number of different individuals across my life, most notably early on, over my parents. What attitude of which to look at each day with purpose and go out there and dominate. Don't just be okay with being average, but go out there and be purposeful around what you're doing, who you're surrounding yourself with, and treating life as though it's a commodity. The other people of whom I've been really influential of my attitude was very early on, when I was actually working in clinical psychology and working with adolescents. That freeness of which they were actually treating life, that curiosity, that possibility of what we could do, creating a their own gaps, but also creating their own version of who they wanted to be. Constantly learning. And when we get older, we sometimes lose that attitude. And I'm often reminded of that as I think about my progression through life. The individuals of whom I coach, but always drawing back and harkening to those children of whom I used to work with at one point in my career, always thinking about, how are we creating the possibilities? And that attitude every single day of both smile and joy that carries us forward.

I love it. You know, we've had a lot of people that worked with children. And I work. I coach football for 25 years, and I know I learned more from the kids than they learned from me. I'm sure when you go back and you think about what the children taught you, what were some of the best lessons of those times in your life, and maybe tell us one, maybe two stories of a child that you worked with who maybe changed some things for you, and what was the lesson that they taught you?

Yeah, you know, I learned quite a few hard lessons because the children of whom that I often worked with were coming out of downtrodden homes who had a lot of trauma. And so there were some hard lessons of value and purpose of which they taught me and demonstrated in my life, but also what I was trying to help them on their journey so early on. One of the biggest lessons, as I just touched on previously, was around that innocence and passion for life. They're constantly learning, consistently observing, consistently treating each day as though it's something new. That newness of not being locked in to the boxes and the rigidness of which we sometimes hold ourselves as we grow older. They look at things from a new possibility perspective. Oftentimes it's that creativity that often drives their passion in allowing them to move forward. You know, one of the stories that I'll bring up, you know, that's you know, extremely sad, but also encompasses what I just described really was around a 10 year old, a 10 year old boy who was in our, in our care from an outpatient facility. And he was there and I was coaching and working with him from a therapeutic standpoint because he was happened to be laying in bed with his mother and sister and the father had come in with a shotgun and shot the mother while they were laying in bed. Extremely, extremely traumatic. When I first met this young man, you would never know that he had gone through this experience. He was smiling, affable, wanted to talk, and quite frankly all he wanted to do was play checkers. That's all he wanted. And in that what really spawned from that dramatic experience and what really what I took away from him in so many different ways is number one, our lives are very precious. And while we may think that we're going through a lot and quite frankly in the moment, that emotional feel, that experience maybe feel and look like a lot to us, but there's always in comparison to something else that we're probably not as bad off as we really think. And I needed to make sure that from what I learned from him was one his passion and that joy that he carried forward with some of it was just his own innocence of not knowing really the complexity of what he had experienced. But part of it was also that fresh eyes in which he was looking at life of all he wanted to do was play checkers and all he wanted to do was smile and play. And as I've grown from that experience of one never wanting to have to work with children in that capacity again. But what I took away as an adult and when I carry with me even to this day is that when I in a struggle, when I'm faced with something that I'm being pushed up against, I think to myself, number one, what is the lesson I'm learning from this? The second piece behind that is I now have a choice. I can use this experience as a place of reference or I can use it as a place of residential that young man at 10 treated as a place of reference. And he had moved on in certain ways. He had compartmentalized in other ways. He was just moving and living his life. And that's what I was working with him on as adults. And for me, I go back and think about that in those times of strife or challenge, what am I learning and how can I use this as a place of reference? That way I can use it as a place to now move off and go forward and live my life in a more purposeful way.

Yeah, that's just beautiful. And you know, sometimes the worst stories give us the best awareness and sometimes teach us the most. As traumatic as that is, is that young man, do you know him? Is he 22 now? Have you kept tabs on him or. Yeah, I haven't seen him.

By this point he would be in his. In his 30s.

Wow.

Since that was. He had 30s, mid-30s by this point. I often think about he and the other children I work with and wonder how they've matriculated through life based off my time with them, but based off of their experiences as adolescents and how they just navigated their own path through support and what those certain level of trauma did to them. I often talk about this quite a bit in a little bit of my book as well. Early on is that is the principle of you. And that's the second part of the book. And the reason I focus on the principle of you is because of stories in my experiences working with adolescents. We all come here, we just didn't arrive. We can't judge the book based on the chapter we walked in on.

Right.

When I'm working with my adults and and people who are on paper extremely successful and by all accounts doing extremely well. But I can't judge them based off of what I see here now. There is a story and path that they've actually taken. Who were they as children? What decisions did they make then as a child? What were their experiences? And no different than that 10 year old and the other adolescents of whom I worked with. I'm conscious and curious about where they have actually ended up and I just hope, I'm hopeful that they are okay, that they got continuous support, that they were able to adjust and live a healthy life.

Yeah, you know, childhood trauma, big reason for suicide and all that. What it sounds like you got out of that profession. I'm sure it was grueling. So like what was your attitude walking into that profession early? And then how long did you stay and then what was your attitude leaving? Because my guess is it changed.

Yes, it drastically. What changed was my emotion behind it, not necessarily my attitude. So, you know, just for some context, I decided I wanted to be a psychologist when I was 13 years old. So no different not, not any much older than the gentleman or the young man that I was working with. I made a decision at that moment that I wanted to be a psychologist because I was always curious about why people did what they did and to better understand them. It also fit my personality over the years or at that time as being, not wanting to be judged. So in that case I could always be, not be out front. I was always in the middle, right? That way I didn't have the visibility. So psychology really fit that mold profession in a way that I could interact with people and communicate while also not being or showcasing myself. So in that context, when I went into the psychology field, starting with adolescents in this particular home and then making my way to working with adults in a 24 hour lockdown ward and dealing with higher functioning kids just with intelligence testing, I went in with the purpose of I care. I care about their development, I care about their process of growing up and being better. Because I've yet to meet anyone who does not want to be better. Now your starting point might be different based off of age, race, heck, even chemical imbalances versus not. But what is always true is one, our greatest ability is to evolve. And in that respect we all want to be better. So in that when I was in the psychology, and more specifically the clinical side of psychology, my heart was still in I care. But as you mentioned, there was a change working with adolescents that just tore me apart. Working with those young individuals and hearing their stories, knowing that one, I couldn't bear to hear those stories day in and day out and seeing them and just because you just care so much. Yes, but then I made the transition to working with adults in the clinical side in the 24 hour lockdown ward. There I just see the cycle and continuation of the chemical imbalance of putting them into a place and getting them rehabilitated from a coaching one on one therapy perspective as well as group therapy context, and then putting them back out into a world that didn't understand them, putting them back into an environment that was just a cycle of what they were already doing previously before they came in, and then cycling them back into the system, that was also disheartening. I couldn't take that because that wore on me after a while. Just that cycle again because I cared. But I also knew that I wasn't allowing myself. I wasn't equipped to letting those emotions go. I wasn't equipped to after I heard things or saw the cycle for adults to be able to say, you know what, being able to leave that at the office because those things stayed with me. So my belief and attitude that I cared still remained. And so I said to myself, okay, knowing I can't do this for the rest of my life because it's going to wear me down inside. And this is just not healthy for me. But I still care. I still love psychology. I still want to help at that moment. In that decision, I then transitioned to working with organizations going through change as well as with people one on one and in my group, coaching to carry forward the skills and the foundation I had set up in my clinical side and move that over to air. Quote, higher functioning individuals who are now starting from a different place and now we're just moving them forward to be better based on their own successes.

I love it. So gappers, this is Dr. Ian Brooks, who has moved from helping child traumatic children and 24 hour lockdown grownups and said, all right, I served my time, I've done my good, but I'd like to maybe transition and help people with their lives that are, quote, unquote, higher functioning, that are business people. And I believe this is where the book that you wrote, Intention, came from. Probably my guess is you took what you learned and then you remanufactured it into how to help people in business and in life, which is why we're here today. Talk to us a little bit about this thing called intention. What does it mean? What's the definition? And what do people that are listening to this show need to know about intention? And what are the rules to set the intention for the rest of your life?

Yeah, it's a very direct word, but extremely powerful. No different than the word attitude. For me, intention is a state of mind with which we actually get actions done. Intention is about purpose. It's consciousness. It's adding depth to who we are because we are now focused on very specific emotions. We're focused on how we're acting. We're actually focused on what we're thinking. Intention in our lives really provides us that plan and roadmap of establishing our priorities when we're actually working and operating with intention. We're now establishing what we truly believe is authentically ourselves. Do you realize that oftentimes there's a stat, and I referenced it in my book as well, and that is, you know, we make between 2,000 and 10,000 decisions each day. Now, a lot of that 95% of it is unconscious, which means we're already biased going into the decisions that we make throughout most of our day. So as we think about our lives. We're running on autopilot for the most part. And in that context, when we want to do something different, when we want to actually transform our lives, not just change, but truly transform, we have to create a certain level of consciousness around what we want, how we're feeling, and what we're thinking in ways that we don't allow ourselves oftentimes to do it throughout our day to days. So I wrote this book with the purpose in mind, to offer depth, to offer a perspective and a guide for individuals to think, to be present, to be in that moment, to be conscious around. What are we thinking? Who are we? What are we looking to discover? And what is our priority at those moments before we take any level of action, we're establishing the foundation in which we're now moving forward. In those moments, those points of intention are now thought. They're felt even before we take our actions. When we start taking actions, we're now building consistency of our thoughts, our emotions, and now our behaviors and habits. Because now we're fighting against our biases. All the things in our minds, our anxieties of what we feel are behaviors that are the patterns and the templates of who we are that happen unconsciously based off our own biases, based on us not having to think. Because guess what? A lot of us just don't want to think, right? But when we're actually transforming with intention, we're now heightening our awareness in ways that we don't afford ourselves and living our life in building that capability. Not that we're doing this every single day, Right? Because that's, that's, you know, in every single thing. Am I intentional in going to sleep? Do I, you know, did I sleep with intention or did I tie my shoe with intention? No. Right. But what is intentional is what are the behaviors and templates of which I'm operating as a leader? How well am I communicating? How well am I showing up and demonstrating talent development? If I'm a person trying to change my life, what am I willing to give up to achieve the goals of starting a new relationship? Taking away feeling, my feelings of overwhelm? How do I establish new trust that requires a level of focus and consciousness to move forward, and it provides purpose on how we live our lives?

I just spoke to a whole school system and surveyed their teachers, and the concept of feeling overwhelmed was a big issue for all these people that I was able to speak to. And I think there's a lot of people that feel overwhelmed with what's going on in our world. Today with COVID with jobs, with supply chain issues, whatever, a lot of stuff going on. What's your advice about how to deal with overwhelm and do you have any antidotes or do you have any thoughts. Thoughts on how to help people with that feeling?

Yeah, it's A1A popular and as you just noted from your conversation, very poignant emotion that is really coming out pre, during and even post pandemic, that feeling of overwhelmed. Ironically, I talk about a woman of whom I was coaching who was overwhelmed actually in my book. And one of the things that that feeling is in what we established early on is one, let's own the feeling. Let's acknowledge those moments that you are overwhelmed. It's not to hide from it. It's to say, yes, I see you, I feel you. The second point of being overwhelmed is once you now acknowledge it, it's now taking the power tape. How can I now diminish this emotion and feeling? What in that respect, it's the acknowledgement of what's causing that feeling of overwhelm. From my client's perspective, she was overwhelmed because she was retiring from one job. She is running another business in parallel, she was starting another business in parallel to that other business. And oh yeah, by the way, she wanted to be a retiree. Imagine the complexity oh yeah. Associated with all that change and goings on along with being a wife, along with being aunt, along with being a friend and trying to balance that workload. One of the pieces around that feeling of being overwhelmed is what is your priority? Oftentimes we are overwhelmed because we're trying to do too much because of others expectations of what we should be doing. That's good in that acknowledgement of that feeling. As I mentioned earlier up front for this particular coachee, it was what is your priority? Because you can't be everything to everyone if you can't be everything to yourself.

Interesting.

Go ahead.

If you got more, keep going.

Yeah. So the tactic was now in that one of the last steps prior to us even taking any action was what could we let go? What requires me and me only versus what can be offset by others? What can I now trust? What can I now let go? In that we start to take away that feeling of I have to do everything, I'm overwhelmed. It's now prioritizing and giving ourselves the benefit of being able to let go and meeting our own expectations rather than those of others.

The similar word. And I think it's really the same as this work life balance thing. Right. Isn't work Life balance just overwhelming. Isn't it the same process to handle that? My guess is you're addressing this. I get how it could be a little different, but without being repetitive. Do you got one or two thoughts on work life balance to help our gappers if they're feeling like they're out of balance? Besides own it, what causes it, what is your priority and what can we let go? Is there any other work life balance antidotes that you can help us with?

Yeah. Again, another prominent conversation point, especially as we're all working remotely and we've turned our bedrooms into offices and what was once our comfortable place of letting go has now turned into a microcosm of non stop 24 hours seven days a week. Work. Work life balance is extremely important and the tips that I offered others as we've gone down this path over the last 18 months around work life balance is number one. Just because we're at home doesn't mean that we need to be working all the time. Recognize when you are turning on for work and you're focused on that priority. Conversely, giving ourselves the time when we're focusing on our life, our home, our self care, waking up and immediately turning on our laptops and jumping on a zoom call or some other device, quite frankly is draining. We haven't separated out the boundaries when working with individuals who do struggle with that work life balance. I do. One of the very first things is one, what are your priorities? Secondly, let's establish a framework of which when is work being done and when is it not? And also, how are you giving yourself an allowance to let go when you can actually enjoy life? Just because our walls are the same doesn't mean that we have to treat them and look at them the same way from work and life.

What? I'm a person that's listening to this podcast. You know what, I'm not intentional. I like to just live my life the way it is. It's going. I don't like goals. I think all this intentionality stuff is crazy. I'm doing fine right now. I don't know why I need to be intentional. I'm good. I don't need intention. Right. What do we. And that's cool. And I'm sure that's probably acceptable if it's working for you, but is it sustainable is the question. But let's say that that person says, you know what, maybe I should look into this intentionality thing. What are the first couple steps about living an intentional life?

Yeah, I think the first thing when I'm Actually talking to people who are just getting started on this path is, as the saying goes, know thyself. Right.

Yeah.

Who are you and what's your value? Even the individuals who are just living life without intention and just kind of going with the flow, guess what? That's your intention.

Right.

You're living it as though you're treating life as though it's improvised, which is not a problem. Yeah, it's yes and right. That's one level of intention. Just because we say we're living with intention doesn't mean that we're restricting ourselves. So in that know thyself, your intention might be to live that fluid life. Now, in that context, what do you hope to enjoy? What is your priority? Once we can focus on that second piece, once after we've come off the value and what truly is your intention? And realizing it's not boxing you in, it's creating possibilities. No different than that 10 year old I talked about previously. Then it's about your priority. What do you want to achieve? How do you want to grow? How do you want to experience life in those experiences? Now that intention is about creating those opportunities and situations for that. Acknowledging who you are, acknowledging what your intentional purpose is and now looking for that expansion through experience. Not to be harnessed or not to be controlled, but to actually to be lived. And that's where you start to create the intention.

Cool. So we are with Dr. Ian Brooks, he is with Rhodes Smith.com Rhodesmith.com if you want to get with him, get in his group coaching, his individual coaching. He would be happy to have you. There is his website for those YouTube people that are up there. Talk to me a little bit about how you came up with the name roadsmith.com for your consulting.

Yeah, you know, it's, it's a, it's a unique story but you know, the backdrop was when I first started my business some 12, 13 plus years ago as a psychologist, I just wanted to hide so I didn't want my name out there. So when I, when I came up with the name, I wanted something that, where my name wasn't as prominent because I wasn't as comfortable. So that's one of the emotional ties to me that I had to get over early on. But the names Roadsmith really was born also from two other avenues. The first is that the first part of Rhodes we all have our own path and journey in life. It's one that is weaves in and out, zigzags. Sometimes we're forward, sometimes we're backwards. We all have a plan, but our path is our path. And as we're going through transformations, as we're looking to expand ourselves, we have to embark on our own journey, our own road. Secondly, we are operating as smiths, no different than a blacksmith forging metal, taking metal that is cold, heating it up, molding it, melding it, creating something new. We are our own blacksmiths in our own journey. As we move forward, my clients are looking to go from that place of something they once were to the possibility of what is. In that respect, Rhodes in our own journey and Smith came together. The second part of creating rhodesmith also pays homage to my grandmothers on both sides of my family and it's their maiden names. So Rhodes Smith coming together and pays respect to my foundation on both of my family's side of who I've become and the care of which I actually work with my clients with as well.

That's great. And so let's talk about Grandma Rhodes. What was her attitude and what did she do?

Yeah, she has since passed, but a wonderful, wonderful woman. She was actually a nurse, so very out of New York City. Wonderful person, Melba Rhodes and then as a maiden name, but Melba Perkins as her married name. A wonderful, wonderful woman who set an established a foundation of education and support both for her family and my grandfather who was a New York City police officer and who is also since has since passed. But they established a foundation for who my mother was and my aunts and uncles as well as who I've become as well.

That's cool. That's cool. And then Grandma Smith and Grandpa Smith.

Yeah. What did they do and what's the attitude lesson now? Jean Brooks, she is wonderful. 96 year old, still moving around, doing her thing along with my grandfather who's 97. Both who live together still in the house that my grandfather built and they do their thing. My grandmother Jean is also extremely accomplished and extremely smart. She worked for the federal government for some 30, 40 years. Outstanding smart person. Constantly reading the newspaper, constantly up on current events. Not only number one to stay current and have conversation, but also to keep her mind sharp. My grandfather, six foot four of them, used to love going hunting, loves to watch the westerns and watch the soap operas. But they established the foundation of that true journey of fight support on both sides, both for my father and his siblings as well as myself and my siblings on who we've become, where Rhodes. We all have our own path and journey, but also recognizing that we are also taking each moment to forge new opportunities of Purpose and living life in a way that is truly building our own capabilities.

I love it. I love it. Ian, you've been so good at the Get Attitude podcast. You've given us so much to think about. But most importantly, I want you to replay this gappers. And he really put out a lot of great questions that if you listen to this again, I probably should say this in the beginning, but boy, if you just wrote down every question that Ian put out there today. Because I do believe life is more about the questions than the answers that we seek. And that in itself would be a very self healing thing. And it would be a great way to help you understand how to get from where you are to where you want to go. I want to finish with our little thing that we always do called knowledge through the decades. I don't know if you have children or not or if you remember being born, but what do you think the attitude lesson is of a newborn baby?

The attitude lesson for a newborn baby is around love and smile. It's understanding that joy and taking those lessons learned and seeing what's around us and truly cherishing our environment of which we find ourselves, recognizing that's the foundation of what we see. Because we can't communicate it in other any other way than through our smiles and through our laughter or sometimes potentially crying as well.

Yeah, but smiling is something. It's when a newborn baby smiles, it lights up a room and it changes attitudes. All right, now, you grew up in Virginia. You were a third grader. You look like you might have been an athlete. I don't know. When you were 10 years old, tell me a little bit about what was going on in your life and what was the attitude lesson that Ian took from being 10?

Yeah, you know what? The attitude lesson that I took from being 10 was that at that point in my life, again, going back to how I even started off being a psychologist was why do people do what we do? I learned early on in that time frame that there were certain things about how I grew up that I did not want to emulate that and I wasn't beholden to that story that I could do so much more. That while this is why people act the way that they do, why they get angry and throw things and curse and all of those things, that may be the way that they demonstrate love. That also may be the way that they demonstrate fear, recognizing that. And I learned that early on in my life. And that's the lesson learned of that I'm not beholden to, that I can acknowledge It. And I can also move past it.

Yeah. The attitude that there's more for me. Yeah. This doesn't need to be me or my life. So you were 20, where'd you go to college? Did you play college sports at all?

No, I didn't play any college sports, but quite frankly, a sports fanatic.

Sports fanatic, huh?

But I did go to Morehouse College in Atlanta, Georgia.

Oh my gosh. So talk to me. You were 20 years old at Morehouse College. What was your attitude lesson at Morehouse when you were 20?

Yeah, my lesson was that in my attitude, go out and dominate, wake up every single morning with a purpose, get all of my classes done before 12 o', clock, and that way I have time at the end of the day from 12 o' clock to whenever to actually get my work done. My attitude was one of still purpose while also acknowledging that I needed flexibility to be able to live life and experience Atlanta and friends and balancing work in life in a way that really expanded me. So the lesson Learned as a 20 year old was go out and dominate. And that starts by getting up early, getting my work done and out of the way. So now you have time to play later on.

Not a lot of those answers, Jason for 20, but I like it. You're Ian, you're a serious dude. Did you ever have fun in your life?

Actually, I did. You know, it's, it's, as I've noted, I've always had a plan. But that plan has created such a unique path and I could never have anticipated half the things that I've been able to do in my life just by saying I wanted to be a psychologist. I wanted to get up and get my work done and then I'm playing around for the next 8 hours or next 15 hours. Stayed up late doing things I probably shouldn't be doing.

That's cool.

But, but I took care of my business first.

Yeah.

And when you do that, I can do whatever I want afterwards.

Yeah, man.

And that's always been something that you never, you never lose sight of that TCB, baby.

All right, so then you're 30 years old. Tell me what was going on in your life at 30. Your attitude lesson at 30.

Yeah, my attitude at 30, I was still embarking upon my doctoral degree of getting that industrial organization psychology. And at 30, I was going through the process of writing my dissertation. And I had, and I had probably one of the worst experiences writing my dissertation as I got to my ultimate defense. Right. The point of time where everything's supposed to be Done. It's supposed to be popping champagne and eating crumpets, whatever, right? Get to my defense. And my committee turned down my defense and wanted me to go back and collect more data. I was heartbroken knowing I'd taken all these steps to get to that point, believing that if that was going to be the case of collecting more data, that they should have told me that months before this, before that day. And so what I learned at 30 about that from that example and from my life was around perseverance. It afforded me a chance to. To say again, re anchor on what is my purpose, what is it that I want? And just because you want it does not make it mean it's going to be easy. But if you want it, you've got to fight. And anything worth having, it's worth that challenge. So at 30, the lesson I learned then was one around perseverance. Because at that point I was able to now move forward in completing the dissertation after a little bit of break. It wasn't like it was right off the bat. Took a little time to recenter myself, but perseverance was something that was born on that day.

Yeah, that's cool. And sometimes what you want, other people can get in your way, whether you like them, whether you don't like them, whether they're right or whether they're wrong. Sometimes we got to please the man to make things happen. Are you 40 yet?

Yes, I am. I am past 40.

All right, well then let's talk about you turning 40. What was your attitude lesson at 40?

Yeah, it continues to grow. One of the things that I've learned here in my 40s is it's okay to let things go. When I started writing my book, Intention building capabilities to transform your story. This version of the book is the second version because the first version after I wrote it, I went and did the audiobook and I went into the booth reading my content for the first time out loud on wax with other people hearing it, coupling my attitude that had been built up in my story and my character of who I was as a psychologist, always being in the background, working with my clients, putting the focus on them and not on myself. That audiobook and that first version of my book was quite frankly bad. It was something that missed the mark in being able to give details I wasn't sharing myself. I was not open to the possibilities of hearing my own voice, both literally and theoretically.

Wow.

And so after hearing myself in that audiobook, I treated myself as though as I was a coaching. And I heard it, listened to all 52 parts and cuts. And I assessed myself and I walked away believing one I was never going to send that out to anybody. And God forbid the producers actually having to listen to all that stuff. But I had a choice to make, that if I wanted to write a book, I had to be more open, that I had to share with myself in ways that I had not afforded myself to share to others, be it personally or professionally. And if I wanted to go down this path, I needed to start and rewrite this book from scratch. And so that journey and that experience allowed me to become the author the book needed me to be. Not only was I was a the coach, but I was also the client. So that's a long way to answer and be more poignant around your question of what have I learned at 40? I learned the attitude of trust. Trust your voice. You can, you're all, you're good enough, but trust your voice, that's cool.

And reinvention and hard work and being open. A lot of lessons in that story, my man. All right, now, you ain't 50, are you?

No, not 50. Not yet. Halfway there.

Well, that's Dr. Ian Brooks, completing the Knowledge through the Decades exercise that we do on every Get Attitude podcast. And that was captivating all of your information, but mostly the questions that you asked our people, our gappers today, I think can really make a shift, really help the intention of their life, really help them understand how to get from who they are to who they want to become. You have been a fantastic guest. I always love to give you one last thought, a word of encouragement, a word of hope for the people that are listening here today on how they can bridge the gap from who they are to who they want to become. And we just like to let you you say any final thoughts as a inspirational note for the folks that are listening to you today?

No, Absolutely. And you know, I appreciate that. There are two things I'll leave the audience with today. First one is, and it kind of aligns to that attitude through the ages here at 40. The first part I'd like to offer you is that you're good enough. Understand that you've gotten here based off of your own learning, development, love, even some failures. But you are good enough. Recognize that you treat each day realizing that you are living with purpose already. And anything else you do would be extra. But give yourself that benefit. Give yourself and trust yourself enough. The second point I would leave the audience with is it's a quote by a gentleman. Nicolo. Excuse me, Machiavelli. And he wrote the book the prince in 1532. And one of his quotes that I like to offer and leave is that he said, he who does not lay his foundations beforehand may by great abilities do so afterwards, although with great trouble to the architect and danger to the building. You've already have a foundation. But as you look to move forward in creating new capabilities and building and transforming your life, give yourself the benefit of establishing the right foundation. We are so used to moving so fast in our lives, in our world, that we lose sight that our foundation is what keeps us grounded. That foundation can be adjusted, but that's going to be great trouble to you and potential danger to what you've just built. Give yourself the benefit of establishing that foundation and trusting yourself enough with patience to move forward.

And that is a pretty good definition of intention, I think, too.

Absolutely.

All right, Dr. Ian Brooks, it was a pleasure having you on the Get Attitude podcast. Much success to you, much success to your clients. If you like what you heard, go to Rhodes Smith.com for Dr. Ian's coaching and for his leadership. He would love to have you check in and he is there to empower you and help you with your intention. And we are going to sign off now. And God bless you. Dr. Ian Brooks, thank you for being on the Get Attitude podcast.

No, thank you, Glenn. Pleasure to be here.

All right, peace. We'll see you. This podcast is a part of the C Suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit c-sweetradio.com.