Getting Out Of The Drama Triangle And Into A Mindset Of Success With Rachel Cahill, GRI, PSA, CDEI, CREI

In a world full of turmoil, despair and darkness, you need to carry the light. Season three of the Get Attitude podcast is where we will ignite your mind, your heart and your attitude. And welcome to the Get Attitude podcast, the Gap. I am your host, Glenn Bill, international best selling author. Two times now, just had a new one come out. We are also a keynote speaker. If you have an event and you need people to, or hell, if you need me to come in and rock your event, I am here for you. And the founder of this Get Attitude podcast where we are interviewing absolute superstars who have and display unbelievable attitudes who have risen to a level of success that is uncomparable by most. And today we have a dear friend of mine, Ms. Mrs. Rachel Cahill, coming to the podcast. Rachel is a realtor, broker. She is a certified mentor, certified real estate mortgage and or certified real estate and mortgage instructor, and she is COO of the Cliff Freeman Group. Cliff Freeman's real estate group did 513 transactions last year, over 176 million in sales. They have about 97 agents that she leads and that she mentors. Not only does she just do that, she's been an author of 20 different books, she has put together online courses. And when I came to Plano, Texas, she, with her unbelievable skill, her unbelievable attitude, her calmness understanding podcast or attitude booster number six, control your emotions filled a room. We had an awesome, awesome seminar with her and I said, this is a person that our gappers need to meet, especially our female gappers, especially our female entrepreneurs. Because as I watched her and got to learn from her and have dinner with her, I was like, this gal could do so much good for our people. So without further ado, we Rachel Cahill, welcome to the Get Attitude podcast.

Hey, everybody. Hey, gaffers. Nice to be part of you guys today.

We love having you, Rachel, and it's so great. How are things down in Texas going for you? Is anything different this year from last year? Are they about the same?

Well, you know, this year versus last year, we've had tremendous growth on our team and it's been a really exciting opportunity for us. And because it's been a challenge and a gift at the same time. So we've obviously had to think through some of our strategies. You know, what works when you're at 20 and then at 40 doesn't always work. Like when you said we just got up to 97 agents. We are constantly working to improve our tools and our systems to make sure that we're supporting our agents and giving them Everything they need to be successful, they just have to bring the rest with the work ethic. So if we're there to support them with all the tools, and then they meet us in the middle and we help everybody grow. So that's. That's really the big focus of our team.

Rachel, when I look at your numbers and all the different things that you do, I think you're like most working women. You know, your mom, obviously, at home. I got to meet your daughter. She was awesome. But there has to come a time where you feel a little bit overwhelmed. I mean, when I look at everything you do and the numbers just on the real estate side, but also the instruction and the event planning, what is your number one? What's your attitude, number one about your life and the feeling of overwhelm. And what tips could you give our gappers today? For those mom working moms out there or those females out there that have this business that's exploding, that are going, I feel overwhelmed. Rachel, help me. So I'd love to just hear kind of your 1, 2, 3 on how you manage it.

Yeah, I would definitely say don't give up. One of the things that is so challenging, I think whether it's, you know, whether you're a man or a woman is just the challenges that life puts in your way as obstructions, right? All these roadblocks, if you're doing construction, right. But your life is going to be always under construction. And so it's just a matter of finding a process, a way to navigate through that. Now, I'm a Capricorn, so, you know, Capricorns are the mountain goats, right? So we just kind of like, we kind of sometimes just sort of find our way up the side of the mountain. And you're like, how the heck does a mountain go do that? They stand on these tiny little ledges, and that's sort of the way I've gotten through life, right? So, you know, I've been in this business for over 20 years. I won't say how many over 20 years anymore. But so I have had to learn some hard lessons over time. You know, obviously, like, you know, the thing that happened back in 2008, the thing that we shall not talk about, right? You have to realize that all these things present challenges, and you're going to have to find a way to overcome them, because it's what gives you those things, that gives you strength to grow and increase your capacity to become a stronger leader or a mother or whatever it is that you're looking to go towards that. That strength and that courage and that character that you develop through the hard times is what gets you there. Now, I've been doing some coaching with a dear friend of mine, Gary Day Rodriguez, and Cliff actually introduced me to him. And one of the things that we've been talking about a lot is really some of these leadership concepts, like getting out of the drama triangle. There's a guy, his name is like, Kapperman Kaplan. I have to look for it, but he has this drama triangle. And, Glenn, I'll send you the graphic and maybe you can post it in the notes or something later. But I actually got very privileged to do a speaking engagement last week for the Girls with Grit event here in Dallas. We had about 100 people there, and they asked me to talk about getting out of that drama triangle and getting into a mindset of success.

Wow.

And actually, I have used this in my leadership roles, and I'm using it in my house to try to provide a better atmosphere for people where instead of being on the drama triangle, let me just maybe step into that a little bit.

Yeah, I would love to hear about it. Yes.

Yeah. So the drama triangle has three sides. It's a triangle, Right. So on one end of the drama triangle, there is a victim, right? Oh, poor me. Everything's wrong. It's always going to be wrong. Everything always happens to me. It's always horrible. Everything happens to me, right?

Yes.

And then there's another person that's always the person who's the villain, right. This villain always doing something. To me, the villain could be something. It could be someone. It could be, you know, life. It could be fate, you know, whatever it is. That's. That's kind of what that is. But the victim is always stuck in that space on there getting attacked by some villain, right? And then they're always looking for some hero to come in and save them. They're gonna, you know, like superwoman as I am, you know, I'm gonna come in and save them. And so one of the things that I've had to learn, you know, as a. As a leader, you know, when our team was little and it was very easy for me to just kind of get in there and work with people. And all my life, I've been someone who's been there to help people and support people, right? That's been one of the things that I guess I was just blessed with. Everybody just came and talked to me when they needed help, they needed support, even if I wasn't even really that good of friends with Them, they would still come to me. So I guess that's just my gift in life. So using this drama triangle and understanding that role, I can't be superwoman. I can't be their hero that comes in and tries to fix them. What I've been learning to apply is a thing called the empowerment triangle, in which the victim gets moved into a role called the creator, the villain gets moved into a role called the challenger, and the hero gets moved into a role called coach. The victim is now going to be a creator. So instead of saying, oh, poor me, it's like, okay, how can I create a solution for myself? How can I get out of this? How can I challenge myself and set a different path? Because, you know, most of the time when you're stuck in a victim role, you're like, you can't see anything. Everything's cloudy, it's all covered up, and you can't see a way out. So if you're thinking in the mindset of a creator, you're like, okay, so this isn't working, what we're doing here. How can I create a better solution for myself? Sometimes you have to have some people to work with you to get there. And so, like, that challenger person, instead of saying, you know, you suck all the time, that challenger person is going to say, okay, you know, let's challenge you to do something different. So this is like, you know, maybe it's a problem that you're encountering instead of saying, okay, this is a problem. And it's like, oh, it's always the worst. No, this is an opportunity for me to grow, right? So everything that we've encountered over the last 20 years of me being in this business, every time I run into a challenge, it's an opportunity for me to learn something new and grow, Right? And then the best part is, for me as a team leader, working with all of our agents on our team, is that I don't have to be the hero anymore in this triangle. I can now be the coach. So instead, what I'm doing is I'm going in and saying, okay, so how could you create a better solution? How can we. How can we talk through this? And that way they can kind of come down. You know, sometimes you're like, I get calls from agents, and they're like. Like cats on the ceiling. They're like, you know, or. Or they're out on a ledge, as people like to say, you know, like, let's coach them in off the ledge. Let's get them to a place of empowerment. Where they can look and start creating a solution. Sometimes it's just calming down, you know, doing some breathing exercises. Sometimes it's talking through and just listening and letting them go through it. But then also just being patient and knowing that I don't have to be part of their drama. I'm outside of it now. How can I support them in them creating a better solution? So what could you do differently to create a better solution? If you're fighting with another agent? Okay, great. How could you create a solution? Because, you know, when there's. When. When there's two people fighting, maybe it's you and another agent, maybe it's you and a spouse or you and a kid. There's two people there and they both play their roles. It doesn't start with one person always. So we just try to work together to try to create solutions. So that's something that I've been really excited about over the last few months, that I've really been working through, I would say almost a year now, what we've been working through and really trying to empower our agents. And it's come in so much joy. It's brought so much joy to me because I've been able to get off some of these phone calls where I don't feel like so stressed, right, because this agent just unloaded on me, you know, and now I've got a solution, I've got a process I can offer them to get out of that and get into a creation.

And I'm guessing that I'll bring this up, you know, in that. In our business, I'm doing much more commercial, which is. Which is highly unemotional. And then I'll step into a residential transaction. And it's like everybody's frantic. Everybody's gotta have it now. And I'm like, my God, I don't. You know, everybody needs to calm down. What's your take or your read on the pace of a residential transaction and the emotion of a residential transaction? And what's your advice on, you know, tampering that so your other agent's calm and you're calm. And if the seller's an idiot, we just went through this, right? I mean, the seller's just tough. What's your best advice to. And whether you're in real estate or not, it could be any business where, you know, the people that you're in business with are so immediate, they're so intense, they're so high emotion, and things gotta happen right now. What's your thought on diffusing that or managing that.

I think the biggest thing that you can do to help manage all those things is, number one, communication and staying really structured and organized so that everybody's out there. I think the biggest challenge that we have in this industry is transparency. People don't want to face it. And this is something, you know, I've been teaching for years, right? So, you know, I would tell back when I was teaching, like, loan officers, when they were getting their license, I would have them in the classroom. I was like, since y' all are new, listen to this, okay? Don't stick your head in the sand and pretend like this thing isn't going to blow up at closing. Because if, you know, a week and a half ahead of time that we're late on the appraisal or the appraisal is not coming in, we're having to do some research, and, you know, that's going to keep us from closing on time. Tell those agents so they. That, you know, that week and a half that you have ahead of time and let that be there, rather than waiting till the day of closing and say, oh, we're not ready to close yet. Sorry.

Right, right.

It's so frustrating because what they. What people don't realize, like, with when closings run late, is that it's not just this one transaction, but there's this transaction. This buyer is buying from a seller who's buying from another buyer. And then it's like eight or nine or ten transactions that it's having this trickle effect, and it's stressing everybody out. Transparency is probably one thing that people can really do to keep everybody communicating and keep the level of openness there so that they can get through the transaction smoothly. Another thing that I use a lot of is this tool called Shuva that Gary talks about. And basically, you're seeing the person, you're hearing them, you're understanding them, you're valuing them, and then most of all, you're appreciating them. So when I have people coming in and they're like. And they get. It's like, I have to stop. Instead of going, you know, and bristling up, I have to go up, okay, so this is a person who's got some pain. I'm going to listen to them. They need to be heard, right? And sometimes if you're cold calling, right, you call that person, and that person goes, you're a. And they start cussing at you. Right? You know, that's not anything personal against you. They don't know you. Right. They're Just somebody who's got some pain. Maybe they've had 32 other people call them because their listing expired today. Right. And so they're getting all the calls, and so you're just one of them, and everybody's attacking them. So they're in some pain. So you just want to really work to hear people and see them. You know, it's like an avatar. Remember an avatar when she says, I see you, and you know, that line really sticks in my head because that's what people are looking for. That's what we're all looking for, right?

Yes. Significance.

Yeah, significance. I want to be acknowledged. I want to know that you understand and you appreciate what I do, what I provide, and that you are hearing me and you understand what I'm saying to you. So you can't always just engage to them on each item. Sometimes they just want to be heard out, and then you can work together. So. Okay, that's great. Thank you so much for sharing that information with me. I really, really appreciate you giving me that insight. How can we work together to create a solution? We're all on the same side. We're all on the same team. We're trying to get to this deal to closing. So how can we work together to get through this?

And then you understand value and appreciate right after that. So you've given us the triangle. You've given us the Shuva formula. So is this Rene Rodriguez? Is that who the coach is?

Gary Day Rodriguez? Yeah, you can check him out.

Gary Day Rodriguez. I probably need to get Gary Day on the Get Attitude podcast.

He said I can introduce you.

Good, that would be. That would be awesome. Well, you're. You're dropping bombs, and I appreciate that. And you know that you. You've actually given us things that people can use. Now, you said that you were with the Girls with Grit event, and you are one of the keynote speakers. Tell us a little bit about that event and what it does and what was your keynote speech about?

So the Girls with Grit, we had a local event here in Dallas, and they really wanted to kind of give people an opportunity to use some resources. So some of the agents were that. Were there. Some of the speakers were talking about branding, and some of them were talking about leadership and. Or time management or marketing stuff. So I was like, wow, you know, I really don't want to talk about marketing and things like that. I was like, I always talk about that, you know, because we, you know, a lot of the things we do as a team, I'm talking about all this stuff, it's like, I want to talk about something different. And I said, you know, what about? What about? It's actually, I think it's Girls with Grits with an S. But I'll send you the website, and you can pull that up.

Girls with Grits. That's funny, Jason. Girls with Grit seems.

Girls with Grit.

We need to check out that website.

All right, well, anyway, so these three ladies are really dear friends of mine that I've met through some of the events, actually, I think. Let's see. No, you didn't get to meet one yet, but I'll introduce you next time we go to a conference together. Some amazing ladies who really have built an organization around themselves to help women realtors become more empowered and become better leaders in their areas. So that's it. Those are my girls. Yes. You found it. Thank you.

Oh, we totally need to get to know them.

Yes, yes. So those girls are absolutely fabulous. They have hearts of gold. And if you get into their community, they're literally just pouring content into people to help them grow. So it was a big honor for me to be working with them to share some information. So that's where I got into this conversation with them last time and being part of their organization as far as their event, that was last week. So basically, what I was talking about was just really getting out of that drama triangle and getting into the mindset of success. So the first thing I was talking about was really just how to create focus, because I think, here's the thing. One of the things that women really, really, really struggle with in life is focus. So it's like, okay, so if we talk about all the things that happen in the work environment, you know, okay, you got to make phone calls, you got to return the emails, you got to write contracts, you got to schedule showings, you got listing appointments. All of these things are, like, cluttering up your head of all the things you got to do. And then there's, oh, should I be on social media? Should we do video? Should I be doing marketing? All these things are going on, right? But then, because us as women, one of our superpowers is the ability to multitask. We try to juggle all of that stuff at the same time. It's all equal. And then we pull in our family, and we just kind of intermingle it and try to make it all fit together, only it doesn't always fit together very well. So one of the things that we all struggle with as women is to try to figure out how to make all of that fit. Because then you bring in, there's church and then there's PTA and then there's that homeowner association and then the kid's got to get to the doctor and this kid has sports after school and then scouts and then all the things, how do you turn that around and build into a focus so that you can accomplish what needs to be accomplished, so you can go forward in your business and not be burdened by all of the things? That's where something like Stephen Covey's quadrant model comes in, where you have the urgent and important in quadrant one, you have the not urgent but important in quadrant two, and then you have the, the urgent but not important and then the not urgent and not important.

Right.

So then you figure out, okay, so if I start putting all these things in there and I start looking at, okay, so playing games or looking on social media or something like that, that moves into quadrant four. Those are my time wasters. I can start getting rid of those. Here's the things that I need to prioritize up here in quadrant one.

Yes.

And then I can start planning for the things that are in quadrant two and life starts coming together in a rhythm, you know, and then when you get the thing that shows up that you weren't expecting, you just can rearrange and move some of those things around. It doesn't have to be like the end of the world. So I'll tell you, life is not easy. Family is not easy. I've been caretaker of family members, caretaker internally, you know, of other, you know, my immediate kids or whatever, but also like my father in law or whatever. You always get stuff thrown at you and it's never easy, but it's just like trying to find a way to stay positive and stay focused and keep yourself out of that drama triangle. So that was kind of the next thing that I was talking about was really moving out of the drama triangle, where you end up reacting like everything's crazy and your hair is on fire all the time. That's really what my talk was about last week and just how to turn that around. And I even taught people how to use something like box breathing. Have you ever heard of box breathing?

I have, yes, but yeah, go ahead and give them the rundown on that.

So when you're feeling like everything's going haywire and you're like, okay, I can't, I can't. Okay, it's all like, right, so I'm very animated. You have to pardon me because, you know, I Got the kids. And it's always kind of been like.

And we are on video. Our Spotify is a vlog. We are on the video on Spotify. So people.

So they're gonna, they're gonna miss out on all the hand motions?

No, they'll see it. No, no, no. We have a Vodcast on Spotify. So.

Okay, awesome.

Great video.

Yeah, that's great. So, but when, when, when women are, and you know, sometimes even men that get pulled into some of the drama stuff and you know, you feel like your hair is on fire, you can always take control back. And one of the easiest things you can do is this thing called box breathing. And literally it, it is a box in your head. So you breathe in for four counts and then you hold it for four counts and then you breathe out for four counts and then you hold that for four counts and just do that like three times and your cortisol level will come down and you'll be able to think. And now you can make a decision that's appropriate instead of a reaction like animal instinct. Because one of the things that is kind of crazy is that we're not animals. Most people forget that. They're like, oh, that's just how I react. That's just the way I do things. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's the way animals do things. Right, right. You're not an animal. Right. We're all not animals. And the sooner that we can learn and embrace that and give ourselves space to think, we can make decisions that are in our best interest instead of decisions that just are ego driven decisions. So it's not like when I say an animal instinct, it's kind of like, okay, so an animal is walking through like, let's use your dog. Right? And they see that piece of pizza that your kid has sitting on the floor on their plate. They're like, oh, look, food. Go eat it. Okay, now a human's going to walk through and see, oh, there's the kid's food. They're going to go, hey, I'm not going to eat that. Because that's this person's food. Right? I stop and I think, I don't just go, I'm hungry and I'm going to eat it.

Right, right, right.

We're not animals. So we can stop acting like them and just give ourselves space to think. And if we can all work together to be positive about that and really create solutions, then we're doing a much better job in our families and in our businesses and we can be leaders.

So I love this. We are with Rachel Cahill, keynote speaker, author, broker. She does it all. This woman is so incredible, and she has given us literally six things that help you and your life and you and your business. What I want to know, because you are a person that look it, you've done, you've accomplished a lot. Who was Rachel Cahill before she was Rachel Cahill? In other words, was there a time in your life where you weren't that successful, where you felt like you were on your own, where you went, ah, shit, how am I ever going to turn this life into this. Into this success that you've had? And I know you're humble and you don't want to say it, but, you know, our show helps people bridge the gap from who they are to who they want to become, and from where they are to where they want to go. And what I'd like to just touch on is, you know, who were you before you are, and where were you? What's that story sound like? And was there a day, was there a person, was there an event that happened where you said, I've had enough and shit's going to change for me? So that's. That's where I'd like to take you now. Tell us a little bit about that.

So let's. I guess let's step back to about, I don't know, whatever, 15 years ago when we were going through all the recession. Let's go back to that spot.

2000, 2008.

Let's go back there. So that was a time when I was. I had just recently left my husband because he was having a lot of personal issues that he was working through. And I had two babies. I had one that was just about three and one that was about 18 months. And so what I felt in my heart was that after spending many, many years trying to be in this relationship and be the hero, not knowing that that was a hero back then, but now putting that in the right labels now I understand trying to be a hero and fix everything all the time, that I was not able to really do that and care for these kids and be stable. I had the great privilege of being part of an education provider where I had been teaching. And one of the things that he needed at this time is Jerry Rutledge is my dear friend. And he had this opportunity to kind of grow and expand this school. And so I just up and I moved from Austin with me and my two little kids up to Dallas, where I really didn't know Anybody. And it was a three and a half hour move, but it was sort of an uproot and a restart.

Wow.

And it was hard. I will tell you. Single momming was hard as hell because you don't get a break. There's nobody to help you in the middle of the night or in the afternoon. In the evenings when it's bedtime and it's like witching hour, there's nobody to help you. So I can tell you it wasn't always pretty, but it was a great opportunity for me to separate myself from the drama that was going on in that relationship and really kind of restart and create also a better place for me to raise these kids because they needed to have a stable environment without the personal struggles built into it. And I will tell you, I am not saying anything that's disparaging about my ex husband. I'm actually still very, very close friends with him. I like hang out with him all the time.

Cool.

So there's nothing bad that I'm saying about him.

Yeah, it happens. It happens. Half the people that get married this happens to. So, you know.

Yeah. We actually have a very great relationship. And one of the things that I wanted to share actually is kind of part of my story, is that we've actually managed to co parent very well together. But what we did was we chose specifically not to badmouth each other, not to say things to the kids about each other. It was all like, let's have a conversation about it separately. We're not going to escalate. We're not going to use language at each other. We're not going to call each other names or anything like that. And that allowed us to not have a lot of the trauma that comes along. All the warfare stuff that comes with some of the separating relationships.

Yes.

And you get all those war scars from that. And those don't go away very easily.

Yeah.

So we didn't have to endure that. So we've been able to keep our relationship going forward and be friends with each other, have holidays together. We actually have holidays together. We do birthdays together. You know, it's just. It's been really great. So that's one of the things that's a really kind of a pillar in my family is that everybody's able to do that. Like, I'm really like best friends with my husband because I got remarried. My husband's ex, who's my stepson's mom, I'm like best friends with her. I sold them their home.

Wow. Yes.

So we are such a Close family. But that comes with putting all your emotions and your stuff aside and doing what's best for the family, what's best for the kids. So going back to that period of time, that was really a struggle for me because I was having to kind of reinvent myself and really work to define who I was. Because I had been like somebody. I had my own business, I had a loan processing company, and I had been doing all these things, but I hadn't really had to stand on my own two feet. I had great parental support. They were always cheering me on. Dad is still very proud. My mom is still very proud. My brothers and sisters passed away when I was in high school. But my brothers are just like, everybody's been so supportive. But the challenges of real life, I hadn't had to endure that. And you have to do that path, you have to walk that path alone. Right. So I had to learn some of these lessons. So coming out and then I move in, move up here to Dallas in 2007, and then 2008 happens. Yeah, okay, so how am I going to pay my rent? Because we had to close the school down because we just didn't have anybody coming who's getting, who's going to get a license when there's no houses to sell or the, you know, the mortgage industry is imploding. Nobody wants a license. So everything we were doing just shut down. And so I had to really work hard to create and reinvent myself. And I started doing consulting and things like that and finding creative ways to do that. I was very lucky to have a landlord that was willing to allow me to pay like half my rent at a time. Right. So half on the first and half on the 15th because I didn't have $1,100 to put together at the beginning of the month. So it was tough. It was real tough and it taught me a lot of lessons. And actually one of my, one of my go tos was kind of like the. From finding. From Finding Nemo was this blue fish. Her thing is just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming. And that's just what I did. I just said, okay, you know, I'm going to turn this over to God. I'm going to put this in his hands and. Or her hands, however you want to say it, but it's not in my hands. I don't control all these things. So I'm going to just release myself from trying to like super control this and I'm just going to swim. Right. And that's what I'VE done. So I've gone from, you know, the school, and I still am partners with. With Jerry on that. We, you know, we have an online education platform that we do together. I've done, you know, I ran a compliance department at a mortgage banker. They picked me up along the way, and that's where I ended up meeting my husband, who did software. So then I did software development for seven years and project management. I wasn't actually writing code because I don't know how to do all that, but I can design the project stuff and I can run a project. All of these opportunities. And there I met my husband. So after about three years, I remarried and established a new life. We've really pulled that together. So that's kind of where I came from. I bring a lot of varieties of different things and struggles to what I do in my current life to try to help people grow. Because, you know, it's like, I know it's not easy. We've all been there. You know, Cliff, too, he's had his story as well. I know you guys. You had him on the podcast last year.

Yes.

So it's just, you know, everything that you've gotten in your background, everything you've had happen to you, it's not happened to you because fate is determining things and God wants to make it hard or, you know, it's just. It's going to be hard. And you're a victim of this. It's opportunities to learn. So if you think like a mountain goat, and how am I going to get to the top of the mountain? And sometimes you only have these ledges that are an inch thick.

Yes.

Sometimes you still just got to find a way to pull yourself up to the top. And that's just going to come with having courage and strength to know that at the top, when you get there, you will have some rest and relief. But you just have to keep going and you have to keep doing the work and keep doing it with love. Because if you don't do it with love, you're going to burn out.

Yeah. And there'll be another mountain right next to you that you're going to have to climb.

Oh, hell, yeah.

Invariably, when you think about your original attitude coaches. Right. I mean, there's, you know, people are developed early, but when you think of. I'd love to know your definition of attitude. Do you recruit to attitude? And how do you spot attitude? And who was your first attitude coach?

Oh, my first attitude coach. Well, you know, obviously my husband is very much into a lot of the self development stuff. So he's very, very interesting to talk about and he likes to share a lot of that stuff. I have had the opportunity to go to the Tony Robbins UPW event and yes, I am a fire walker.

Atta girl. So am I.

Can I say shitless on the air?

Yes.

This is not public television, but man, I was like sitting there in the morning, you know, it's so funny. I have this little funny story that I didn't buy the T shirt, the firewalker T shirt, because I was so afraid that what if I get there and I can't do it and then I bought this shirt and I'd be a fraud. I was like, I can't do that. So, yeah, so I didn't buy the shirt the first day. Well, of course everybody bought the shirt the next day in the morning, before I even got there. And there was no shirts left to be had on the firewalker shirts. So yeah, it was kind of funny. So. But I did the firewalk and I do have the shirt. I ordered it online, but I earned it. That was absolutely an amazing experience and I highly recommend that for people to go through that UPW training. I think they have one actually coming up in about three weeks, an online one. Which is. The online one is really kind of cool because they have like all these, you're on zoom. But they have all these interactive things that they do with like, you know, chopping a board and stuff like that. So instead of doing fire walking, you like literally chop a board. And some of those people that are just absolutely amazing to meet, but that was one thing. And then of course, this last year, getting introduced through Cliff to Gary that has just all of these things have been building to really put me where I'm at now in my life. And my outlook is changing dramatically. How I process things is so different than where I was even five years ago. Because back five years ago I didn't know anything but the drama triangle and I didn't even know I was in it. I just knew shit was always happening and I just had to find a way to fix it and either fix it for someone or it was happening to me. Right? So that I would say is just been a big change in my trajectory and really has made everything so different. When I'm hiring, when I'm looking at people that we're going to add to the team, one of the things we use some tools like disc profiles obviously just to see are people introverts, are they extroverts, are they where they fit in that profile, who's going to be a better fit for sales? Who's going to be a better fit for internal stuff? Maybe it's inside sales or something like that. The important thing to understand with people is, you know, not. The disk model is not the only thing that you can use as your hiring tool.

Sure.

But getting to know people, because I know some people who have the disc profile that doesn't fit what they're doing right now. I mean, they just blow it out of the water. But they've created tools and resources to adjust for the things that would be a struggle for them. Yeah. So somebody who's not, like, you know, super high I and wants to go out and talk to people like me, you know, somebody who wants to be in the background has to really work hard to kind of get into a sales role where they can go talk to people. They have to go kind of against what's natural to them. So there are some amazing people out there doing some really cool things that don't match their disc profiles. But it's, you know, you can kind of use it as a ballpark. Right.

And I would say that's probably attitude. Right. I mean, to get out of your comfort zone is a conscious decision you make to say, okay, I'm not comfortable. I'm comfortable being uncomfortable, and so I'm going to go talk to people even though I don't want to.

Exactly. And then with hiring, you know, bringing people onto our team, or maybe it's people like, you know, we have virtual assistants. You know, I just really like work, and I, you know, kind of look them in the eye, even if I'm on Zoom or whatever. Like, you and I are sitting here on Zoom right now. But, you know, you look them in the eye and you really get a sense of their attitude and what they're bringing to the table. So if you got somebody who's just really kind of shut down and they're kind of like, back here, you know, you're just like, okay, so what is. What's. What's holding them back? What are they feeling? What's their emotion? Are they going to be a fit for the energy level that is needed to do what we do here?

Right.

Because real estate is not an easy place to be.

Right.

No, no, you have to work. It's. I know. Everybody's like, oh, it's just so glamorous. I get to set my own schedule.

No.

Yeah, you set your schedule. Meaning, okay, from this time to this time, I'm doing this part of My sales from this time to this time, I'm returning this time. You know, I'm doing this time blocking thing. Yeah, you set your own schedule. You time block, and you get effective on it. So I really want to bring people that are, you know, have a positive mindset that are really looking to grow and are very excited about life. I don't want to bring people who are going to be like, we call them time vampires. Right. Who are just going to suck the life out of you with everything they have. Yes. Because they're also not just going to do it to you, they're going to do it to everybody that's around them. And your clients, you have to protect your. Yes. And your clients. So you have to protect your team from bringing people in that are going to be that energy suck out of the team. And so attitude is one of the most important things that people have to have. You have to be ready to work, you have to be positive, and you have to be in control of your emotions.

I love it. And you got to have energy and vitality, as Tony will say. So I always love to ask people, and sometimes they go, glenn, I never knew my grandparents, but I'm wondering, because I always believe grandparents, and I'm a grandpa, have a big influence on people. And I'm just wondering, did you have a grandma or grandpa that, like, I'd love to know, like, that had an impact on you. What did they do? Like, what did they do for work? And. And just. I just always think that's like a fun fact. So just let's go back to grandma or grandpa. Did you have somebody like that?

Yeah, my. My grandparents didn't all have an easy story, you know, and. And that's kind of. I think the beauty of my family upbringing is that, you know, my dad's side, you know, they had to recover from things that happened in World War II and overcome a lot of stuff that occurred as a result of that. And on my mom's side, my grandfather was a police officer after World War II. He had the work ethic and everything. He worked himself up from a beat cop to chief of police in Austin, Texas.

Wow.

And so he worked his way up, and my grandmother was there to support him with love and enjoyment and excitement all the way behind him and from the challenge. I didn't get to meet him because I was only 2 when he passed away, unfortunately, back in the 70s. But my grandmother, I had the pleasure of actually going and living with her when I was in college for a couple of years before she passed away. So I got to not just get to see her as grandma, give me cookies. I got to spend some time with her and get to know her. And she was just a volunteer servant, servant's heart and loved helping people. And I think that was something that I really learned from her and really enjoyed was that model of giving and loving and growth and what you get back from that in return. So I mean, I think that, you know, from those grandparents I got that. And then from the other ones, they had to overcome. I mean, they came over from Europe and they had literally a suitcase and my dad, this six month old baby, and they came with nothing and they had to rise up like the phoenix and come up and create a life for themselves. And so they created and got themselves to a place where they had a real estate portfolio and they were really had a great running business. And so they overcame a lot of obstacles. And so I'm very fortunate to have that kind of role models. They didn't always do things right. I don't agree with all the decisions they made or the way they acted. But if you look at the life lessons and the things that they had to overcome and just use those as tools that I can use to make myself better, those are things that I would say I learned from my grandparents.

I love it. And then who is the grandma you lived with? I feel like a very mature, eternal thing from you. And that is so cool that that's who that was. What was her name?

Her name was Velma Miles.

Velma. Here's to grandma Velma. Well, and your best grandma Velma. Giver, nurturer, mother, grandmother. Mindset. We always like people to tell our gappers or to give our gappers a message of hope as we conclude the interview. And so to that person that's walking on the beach or driving the car on a trip or walking their dog, who came to this podcast to listen to Rachel about what it means to be an entrepreneur, what it means to be a female entrepreneur. What is your message of hope for our listeners? And we'll call it a show.

Do everything you do with love. Because when you come from a point of love and you come from a point of helping others, you will grow together. You know, they say in our company, they say a lot of a rising tide raises all ships. And I think that is so true. Because if you have that mindset, that giving heart, that servant leadership, then you will all grow together and come up. So whether that's in your family or whether that's in your business, do it with so much love that that's all you feel?

I love it. And when we talk about season three, Carry the Light, obviously what Rachel has just told us do it with love, certainly embodies our season three Carry the Light motto. Rachel, you dropped bombs on us. You gave so much value to our gaffers today. I know we did good. I know we helped some people. God bless you. God love you. I can't wait to see you soon. And we'll see you on the next Get Attitude podcast.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.