Leading A Cultural Transformation With Ben Utecht

In a world full of turmoil, despair, and darkness, you need to carry the light. Season three of the Get Attitude podcast is where we will ignite your mind, your heart, and your attitude. And welcome to the Get Attitude podcast. I'm your host, Glenn Bill, international best selling author, keynote speaker, and your favorite attitude coach. Today we have the one and only Ben Utech. Ben is also a speaker, but you might. You might know Ben because he was an NFL football player. He actually played for several football teams, including my beloved Indianapolis Colts. Ben now works with companies and associations and he talks about the championship culture. He's an entrepreneur in two different companies and he wrote a book called Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away, which was the story of his concussion scenario. He also has an unbelievable Christmas music show in Minneapolis, Minnesota, that if you get up there around Christmas, you need to go see it. I checked it out on the web and it's pretty awesome. And he works with culture transformation based on the Dungy model. We are going to learn from one of the leading speakers in the nation on culture, culture transformation, Mr. Ben Utek, after we listen to him first describe what he does.

I've always been very passionate about people, teams, and the culture they create, whether in sports, music, or speaking. Everything that I've ever pursued in my life has been directed towards people building relationships and finding purpose and meaning.

All right, so, ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome to the Get Attitude Podcast, the one and only Ben Utek. Ben, welcome.

Ben, what's up, man? Thanks for having me.

Oh, it's so good. I'm excited. I've been looking forward to this interview for a while. And as you know and all of our gappers know, we're here to do good. We're here to help people and organizations get from where they are to where they want to go. I always love to open my podcast with a very simple question. Number one, what is your definition of attitude? And number two, who was your very first attitude coach?

What a great question to start off with. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on, and congratulations to all your success. I love your platform, I love your leadership, and so thank you for what you're giving back to the community. And also, congrats on being an amazing high school football coach. I mean, that's a pretty. That's pretty amazing. You've won some championships, too. So, you know, I worked with a renowned clinical psychologist here in Minneapolis, and we spent a lot of time talking about attitude. And I loved what he taught me, which is that he believes through the lens of social psychology, that attitude is a behavior. Right. That attitude is, it's more than just an idea, but it's actually something that, that is reflective of how you behave on a daily basis. And I really appreciate that. And I think it's in alignment with what you teach. You know, I'm going to be that guy. And I'm just going to say that it was my dad.

Well, sure.

I grew up in a pastor's home. My dad was a Methodist pastor for over 45 years. And really is the catalyst to my passion for people and for speaking, you know, because I got to see one guy every single week walk into, you know, into a sanctuary with an attitude towards using the power of words to transform people.

Yeah.

And that's what set my heart ablaze for, you know, really being able to do the same thing. So that's where I'm going to go right off the bat.

I love. Well, we have, we're in our third season. We've done over 100 interviews with highly successful people, many pro football players, and not surprised, surprisingly, more than 60% of them go, you know, probably my old man's the one that was my very first attitude coach. So what was it like? I mean, you did talk about it. It's neat to think about sitting back as a child and watching the mentor or the hero of your life speak on an altar. Right. And share the word of Christ. I mean, that had to be pretty amazing. Was it tough for you to have a pastor as a father? Were you ever made fun of for having a pastor as a father? And maybe what was the best attitude lesson that you learned from your dad in that whole mix?

Man, I might have got made fun of a little bit until I outgrew everybody. And that really kind of ended everything at that point, you know, was really amazing. I really took ownership of that. Glenn. I actually, I loved my dad's job and I loved growing up in a family that I think really understood the power of emotional intelligence and self awareness. And so, you know, I, I was provided tools, life skills at a very young age because my dad not only was a pastor, but he was a counselor. My mom had a counseling degree and so we, we did a lot of communicating in my house. That was very unique. And I, I think that was one of my greatest lessons from my parents is, is not just communication, as in having a conversation in the workplace about a strategic plan, but I mean, real genuine convert conversations about growing more deeply in the relationships, the interpersonal relationships we have with each other. And I would say within that ecosystem, growing up, the biggest lesson I learned from my dad was the power of an apology.

Wow.

And I was very blessed to have parents that did a good job of asking my sister and I what could they be improving as parents? And there being a handful of times where my sister and I would express, you know, some of the requests or some of the. Just the natural life tensions that exist in a family and conflict, and having my parents actually apologize, you know, to, you know, to their children and experiencing the power that exists within that process of them saying, you know what? We didn't realize that our behaviors were making you feel this way. And because of that, we apologize and we want to do better as your parents, to train and to lead you. That was just. That was pretty radical. And it set the standard for me because as a dad of four daughters, I do a lot of apologizing.

I don't. I mean, we're seven minutes into this. Jason, he's already. I mean, that's so awesome. I don't think that's ever been said. We've had a lot of counselors, we've had a lot of family types that I've interviewed. And, you know, I immediately went to, you know, parents, I think now are almost too apologetic to their kids. But that, as I see it, I'm like, saying that they just apologize without asking the question first. And I think what you said was, you know, it's that question. So, you know, real powerful tool. I mean, I have to ask this. What's your sister's name and what's the best attitude lesson she ever gave you?

My. My sister Ashley. You know, that's a really good question. It's the first time I've ever been asked that question. I think one of the things, if I'm just reacting, I think as I grew from being a young man into a man and really understanding how important my sister was and is in my life to this day, I would say that one of the biggest skills I had to improve on early on in our relationship was dying to myself. Right. Decreasing the importance of humility, which I didn't have a lot of growing up, and the importance of listening, and that's connected to that humility attitude. Right. Because, you know, if we. If we're leading with an attitude of selfishness, then we're going to like to the sound of our voice a lot more than the sound of others. And so I think as I grew my relationship with my sister, who's. Who's. Who's a very Intelligent, sharp woman. I think the importance of really pausing and giving her the intention she, you know, that she needed and deserved. Yeah. Listening better is what, is what really helped me to, to actually see her for, for who God created her to be and, and has been a huge, was a huge catalyst to a better relationship with her.

Cool. So were you her baby brother? Was she your little sister?

She was my little sister.

All right. I'm sure you took good care of her.

I tried, I tried. Yeah. It was a, it was, like I said, a great, great home to grow up in and we have a very close family.

Well, let's get into this thing called culture that you've really seem to be dedicating your life to and your passion to and sharing this thing called culture. Certainly I think culture could be classified as somewhat of an attitude. How do you define culture?

So I define culture as. Culture is what you believe, why you believe it, and how you behave it.

Wow, that's good.

What you believe, why you believe it, and how you behave it.

Awesome. And so when you go in and talk with a prospective client or company, is that where you start with them, those three questions?

It really is because, you know, we've gotten into such of a, we've gotten into such a kind of a check the box mentality of mission vision, value statements. And I wanted to really approach culture through the lens of the depth that it deserves. And to me, as I've done my research and have been mentored by some pretty incredible people in the HR platforms and the psychology platforms, one of the interesting things you learn is that we actually know where values are stored in the brain. But what's interesting is that the only reason values stay there is, is because they're held in place by beliefs. So beliefs are really the foundation of the values that we have. Right. Usually if you say that you value an attitude of integrity or an attitude of courage, you know, the next question is, well, why? And the answer is, well, I believe that integrity is, or I believe that courage is, or I believe. And usually we say that word believe when we're, when we're really putting that stake in the ground on something as a human being, it's, it's the most foundational part of, of what we can say to take ownership of something. Right. So coming into a company and helping them identify their non negotiable beliefs that guide the behaviors and actions of their people is what I call the organizational culture creed. And so I come in and I help companies develop their creed and create the systems around that in which to practice those non negotiable beliefs to get the behaviors out of their, out of their team that they desire.

That is awesome and valuable, no doubt, for every company that's out there. When you. And we can take this boat two ways. When you look at the people you work with or the people you speak to individually, what do you see as the biggest issue or problem individually with people, and what is the biggest issue or problem? As you walk into a company and you try to create that creed, is it all the same? I'm sure it can vary a little bit, but are you kind of like, oh my God, this again, what are people doing wrong?

That's a good question. And it's changing, it's changing generationally. And so we're seeing a lot of unique problems and strengths and growth areas. I mean, kind of the 360 degree approach to the human condition is always alive and it's always moving. I would say that in the current workplace, one of the areas of concern is proactivity. It's getting people that are excited and have an attitude to come to work every day and work really hard, you know, and to also understand the value that exists within the physical connection. You know, now that we're living in a virtual world, even though that physical connection provides really incredible impact on an organization's success. And then I would say organizationally, one of the things that we see consistency is our trust issues. And a lot of times it's because the senior leadership of an organization doesn't do a thorough job in explaining the why. Right? It's, you know, it's the Simon Sinek why, it's the story behind the decision. And so when, when you're, when your team members don't understand the why, it makes it hard for them to trust the decisions that you make. And so even making small, little, small little changes to the, to the communication process by which you bring your team members around, the decisions that you're making at the C suite level can make a world of difference around how your, you know, how your employee base really trusts you as leaders.

I like it. And so, I mean, that's just so true. I always say, you know, trust isn't earned in a day, it's earned day by day. Right? And that gets into the communication that you're talking about. But it all really ties into that creed, I think, that you try to uncover and clean up. That's got to feel really good, right? To go in, be able to diagnose, polish something up, and then come out with Another creed. You've obviously been doing this for a lot of people. I'd love to know, like, you don't have to name names of companies or anything, but give us an example of when you walked into a company and you're like, man, it was a mess. And I'll never forget this creed that we came up with that was freaking awesome. Do you have one of those, do you remember like your best creed that you up with with a client?

Well, I've been blessed to be working with a pretty radical private equity group here in the Minneapolis area called True North Equity Partners. And they currently own around 30 companies and are growing rapidly. But they have a very powerful platform of taking a purpose driven servant leadership approach. And what they really wanted to do was they wanted to take this foundational belief system that they had, but actually turn it into a material product. Right. And so it was a great opportunity to come in and to take, you know, really what they've designed by default. Right. They brought in great leaders and those great leaders have been doing a good job of hiring and bringing in and leading younger talent, but they haven't been able to actually capture it and make it material, make it an objective product. And so we had a chance to come in and we've done the, the True north culture creed. We've also followed up and done two of their main companies with Sunbelt Business Advisors, which is a national franchise, and then also Honor Capital, which is a very unique, purpose driven capital finance company. And with each of these companies, Glenn, we've identified a very customized approach to what their non negotiables are. And then what we do, in alignment with the definition I gave you for culture is not only do you define what those non negotiables are, but now you take that typical value statement and you throw gasoline on it, man, and you put adrenaline on it and it turns into what becomes an operating system or a manual that you can use in training that goes deeply into the what, why and how of each non negotiable. So if you're going to be a company that wants to, that wants to build a culture on a non negotiable belief like integrity, well, then not only are we going to define what integrity is through the lens of that company, but now we're going to go deep into the why, the psychology of integrity so that it removes all gray area, right? And then we get into the most important where the secret sauce is, and that's the how. How do you actually develop integrity in yourself and in your team members? So that's what the creed encapsulates. And we just rolled this out there along with bringing in my technology platform that has a behavioral assessment that helps these organizations hire the right people and develop those people and benchmark culture. So it's really exciting.

Well, the area of recruiting and retention is certainly profitable. It's probably the biggest challenge in business currently right now. How do you help one of our gappers that goes, yeah, I've listed some of my non negotiables and then they go, well, I think I want to negotiate.

Yeah, well listen. And that's going to be an ongoing ever present tension that exists within any business or any sport team. And the reason why, Glenn, is because we're people, you know, we're humans and flawed. We're broken, we're, you know, we're full of joy, we're full of, you know, there's so much unique qualities to us that we, that you always have to be prepared for. Right, yeah. Team. And so that that's going to exist. But if we can come in and help, help people by creating a guide system or a rail system, you know, and this is so true and I know you know a lot about franchising, but the reason why a franchise is successful is because of the ability to replicate a franchise operating system.

Yes.

So my approach to culture is, is in alignment with that. You know, how do we create the culture operating system? Right. It's kind of like the EOS system.

Right.

How do we do that with culture? And you actually build out the systems in which hold you accountable to practice those non negotiable beliefs in the right way. Now it's never going to be perfect. You're always going to have issues, but at least it gives you a foundation and an accountability system, you know, to be doing something about it.

That's so good. Well, if you're a business owner, if you're an entrepreneur or team leader, Ben is somebody that you definitely want to get in touch with. If you hell, if you're a football coach and your culture's in hell, get with Ben now. Where, where do we find you?

Benutech.com yeah, Benutec speaks.com is my website and, and, and I'm very accessible on LinkedIn.

Cool.

Use that platform just to speak to, you know, to speak directly to business leaders.

Good. And I think we're hooked up on LinkedIn. If I remember, we both hit, hit each other up, which was good. Yeah, we're on LinkedIn every day. That's non negotiable for Me posting every single day on LinkedIn. Let's talk a little bit about the book. And what, well, what was it like writing that book? Right, and what was the name of the book again?

Yeah, it was Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away, which is a very ominous title. I had a bit of a hard time with it when we were writing, but, you know, they, they wanted something captivating. My, my concussion story was on national television as the Cincinnati Bengals were on HBO Hard Knocks. And so the world got to see my final concussion. And, and that was really challenging, to be honest with you, Glenn. It was, you know, it was a difficult time. I was, I was at the best of my physical abilities and, and was excited to, to be playing for hopefully another handful of years. And unfortunately, concussions made that difficult. But it was also at a time where it was a pivotal moment in creating an advocacy platform to really be an ambassador for the brain health of players. And so as I was pursued to tell my story, that ultimately is what, is what prompted me to move forward with that. And it took a lot of vulnerability and you know, it overall was received well. But as you know, you know, at that time, the tension that exists within the NFL and players and brain injury was at an all time high. And so, you know, it was like walking on eggshells for a little bit. But overall, it's been a, it's been a great platform for me to do what I can as a spokesperson for brain health and trying to help the cure for, to find the cures for brain disease. So overall, I'm really glad that I shared that story.

Well, yeah, the cure for concussions would be not slamming your head into other men at 40 miles an hour, for sure.

Yeah. And that's not what I advocate for. I love the game of football. My message was always pro brain, pro game. Yes, it was, you know, the balance that exists within being completely educated so that you can make the best decisions that you can for your children and for yourself, but also do whatever we can to, to create the right benefit structure, you know, for, for players that are giving their lives to this game and, and really, you know, injuring the thing that makes them who they are. Yes, ultimately is kind of the platform that I decided to stand on.

And so what would you say was the attitude lesson, right, that you got out of writing that book? Like what, as you were going through it, what was the attitude lesson?

Oh, I would say vulnerability equals connectivity. I think that when, when I would get letters in the mail or when people would come up to Me after a speaking engagement and they would tell me how their book has helped them in their own personal journey with traumatic brain injury. Or, you know, I'll get letters in the mail with football cards from parents who have had children that have really struggled with the after effects and consequences. And, and to hear how learning about my story was something that helped them get through some of their valleys. That stuff is always what makes it worth it. I never wrote the book to be a best seller or to make a lot of money because as you know, you typically don't. You're like one of the few. Right. But the reality is that you write a book to. You write a book to create a platform that, to positively impact people's lives. And that's ultimately why I did that.

Well, I saw that you were four years at the University of Minnesota and I'm just wondering, did you ever meet John Robinson, the wrestling coach there?

Jay Robinson?

Yes.

Yeah, I did. Yeah. I'll tell you what, that program, national champions, I mean, I was there when Brock Lesnar were you heavyweight champion of the Minnesota Gophers and went on to have this unbelievable WWE career. But man, you want to talk about when the football team is looking over at this monster with six 45 pound plates on each side of the bar and the bar is bending, you know that you've got a pretty serious wrestling program, right?

Yeah, my son wrestled D1 and Jay Robinson called, called our house and like talked to him and I was like, oh my God, that's Jay Robinson. Right? I mean, what a legend. So I was just curious if you ever got to meet him or if there was an attitude lesson that out of that program. Did you hang around any wrestlers? Did you ever hear him speak or were you kind of doing the football thing?

You know, we were pretty compartmentalized, but. But I did know some of the wrestlers and I mean, I mean the amount of different words we could use to describe the wrestling attitude, Glenn, is it's. There is no other attitude like it. I don't really know. Indomitable will.

Yes.

So one of the, one of the non negotiables we created for a fascinating construction company out into. Out in Spokane, England. Group, they have this amazing non negotiable belief called indomitable will. And that just is what popped into my mind because we would start our football practices and we would see these wrestlers leave the indoor athletic facility hearing 45 pound plates over their head, running off campus and we would go through our three hour practice and as we were walking in, they would Just be running back with these 45 pound plates.

It's insane.

Insane. The work ethic, the will that it takes to, you know, to be, to be a wrestler and to. Especially a wrestler in the University of Minnesota program.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, we had, we interviewed a guy called the Wrestling Mindset. I can't remember his name. Was it Jay Mansetti? Maybe. But yeah, check that podcast out. You really like it. He works with kids on the Wrestling Mindset. So it's pretty, Pretty interesting. In terms of guys you played with at Minnesota, would love to know who had the most influence on your attitude or was there a story of a guy that you played with at Minnesota where you went, man, that guy has a great attitude. Or I learned something from them. What was like the greatest lesson you learned from one of your teammates during those four years? And who was it?

Oh, man, there was a left tackle who was our starting left tackle. Monster of a man from Forest Lake, Minnesota. You know, we, we kind of built, you know, we produce these massive German, Norwegian, you know, Scandinavian offensive linemen up here, as you. As I'm sure, you know. But. But Adam was one of those guys. And, and I just remember I started as a freshman tight end, and so I was, you know, I was so wet behind the ears. And I'll never forget the first game, you know, just having, you know, this tower of a man kind of look over to me and said, you know, basically said, like, you got this, okay? And I'm gonna, and I'm gonna help you with the calls. You know, I don't think much about that until you actually ask the question. But, you know, what a, What a great attitude of, you know, what a great attitude of being a helper, you know, being willing to, you know, be humble enough to help the young kid. Right. Especially in the middle of a game, you know, and so that was a great lesson for me.

Sure. And as you and I know, but most people may not coming in as a freshman into Big Ten football with a playbook this thick and audibles and option routes and all that. You don't know what you're doing the first game. Right. I mean, you're just going to be lucky if you got the. If it's a pass.

And I came in as a wide receiver and then. And then quickly got moved over to tight end as I was putting on weight. So it was a, it was a totally new position for me. I stood up my whole career and now I'm having to hit guys in the mouth that are, you know, 50 60, 70 pounds heavier than I am. So it was a, it was a. It was a. It was a breath. He provided a breath of fresh air and allowed me to hit the ground running.

And who was your college coach? Did you have the same college coach or did you get the rotating coach tree going like I did?

His name was Glenn Mason.

Oh, okay. And what was the attitude lesson he gave you or taught you?

One of them was don't blink.

Ah, good.

Which I thought was really. Which was really cool. Don't blink. And if you want respect, take it.

Nice. I love it. You were talking about your father being the first attitude coach. And one question I always love to go back in because I believe that the history of attitude and really what creates our attitudes inside of us rests in the generation before our parents. And I'm just curious, if you were fortunate enough to know your grandparents and if there was one or two grandparents that you did. No good. What was the attitude lesson those grandparents taught you?

Yeah, my grandfather, Bob Utek, was a. Was a unique individual. He was the ringside announcer for the Minnesota North Stars and, you know, played a role in fundraising for the 1980 U.S. olympic team that won the gold medal. He started a local newspaper called let's Play Hockey, which has become a very. Still to this day, you know, a strong regional hockey newspaper. But, but that phrase, let's play hockey is still shouted at the beginning of every Minnesota Wild game. I mean, it's, it's. It is a Minnesota.

That's from your grandpa.

That's from my. Yeah, that's from my grandpa. Right. And so he, he. What let's Play Hockey means for me as his grandson is, you know, my, my grandfather worked really hard to pursue his passion, and hockey was one of those passions, and he was willing to give up whatever it took to, to get there. And so within. Let's Play Hockey is three things. Let's. Community. He was a huge community ambassador. Ambassador. Play. Do what you love.

Right.

Do what you love. And then. And then hockey is do the thing that you love. Right. So I think that that was, you know, that was something so unique about being grown up around someone like that, who was an entertainer, who was a community ambassador, and, you know, who did everything from lobbying to, you know, to supporting community theaters. I mean, he just was an all around, kind of a renaissance guy. And that's something that I really is akin to who I am as well.

That's awesome. See? Well, I told you it never fails that the grandparents always got the best story when it's all said and done. So. So you went to a lot of hockey games, I'm guessing, as a kid, did you ever put on the skates and play?

I was a goalie. I did, Yeah. I was. Yeah. I was a six foot, six drink of water, huge five hole, and they took advantage of it.

So it's the. The skill that hockey players, especially nowadays, the skill that they possess is just absolutely unbelievable to me. I don't know how they do what they do with the puck and all that. How are the North Stars doing this year?

Well, the North Stars are now in Dallas, but the Minnesota Wild.

Oh, I'm sorry. Right, the Wild, right.

Yeah. They're actually doing really good. And, you know, our state sport is hockey, so, you know, anytime you go to a game, it's completely sold out. And it's the same with the Gopher hockey team. So it's a pretty special place to watch that sport.

I want to off air, we talked a little bit about this thing called the Dungy Model, which is what is filtered through or based on what you're doing with companies. Can you just give us a Little Dungy Model 101? What is it? What does that mean? What does it mean to you? And what was Coach Dungy's best attitude lesson for you?

Well, Coach Dungy taught me that culture is the human condition at work. And that changed everything because, you know, typically, sports can be a fear based platform. You know, we're going to build. Build you up, break you down, and, you know, there's no HR in football. So the words that are used and the ways in which coaches go about trying to get your best performance is, you know, many times toxic and many times great. You know, but that does exist. And so I thought it was really interesting that in some of our very first team meetings, Dungey expressed this incredible purpose. To build a family.

Yes.

The acronym for family and football is forget about me, I love you. And that's something I learned from P.J. fleck, the Gopher coach here at the University of Minnesota. But think about that. What a cool attitude towards family. Forget about me. I love you. This idea that selflessness actually leads to deeper levels of commitment. And if that's true, now, we got to go through that. What, why and how? What is selflessness? And why does selflessness matter? And how do we actually develop that in our people and in ourselves? And all of that is, is really what came out of this incredible Tony Dungy perspective, which was that culture is not a mistake. It's not just this default thing. That we're just going to allow to develop on its own and not manage. No, we're going to design our culture and then we're going to do something about it to actually develop this. And we did. We had a number of systems that, that took place inside the locker room, on the field and off the field that were designed to not just develop our fundamentals and techniques on the game, but also our fundamentals and techniques of our human condition. And ultimately he believed that if you build better men, you get better football players.

Sure, yeah.

I mean, let's go. I mean, that's what we should do in business. We have such an amazing opportunity to positively impact people's lives. And so why not choose to take that approach? I mean, I know that fear still drives revenue, but it's not sustainable. It doesn't drive respect, and it doesn't drive all the other wonderful life principles that you can be successful and improve people at the same time. And so. And that's a legacy that you want to stand behind.

Yeah. And that gets into do we want to be transactional or transformational? Right.

Yes.

Which I think Joe Wrights, I think was maybe your. Were you there with Joe or.

No, I don't think so.

Okay. Yeah, so Joe's in the university of attitude with us too, and he's a former cult player, interestingly enough. So what else I want to ask you? Okay, so what we do is I do this little exercise at the end of our podcast called Knowledge through the Decade, and we kind of walk you through your Life. Are you 40 yet?

41. Yes.

All right, so we'll go through 40. And I always like to ask you the attitude lesson you Learned at each 10 year increment of your life. I know you probably don't remember being born, but when we ask people about the attitude lesson of birth, and Lord knows you've had four kids, and my guess is when those babies came out, especially all being girls, there was an attitude lesson for you. I'd love to know what that attitude lesson was or that the attitude lesson you feel that is created through birth.

Oh, man. So the first thing I thought of as I saw my oldest daughter Laura come into the world was it really took me back to my faith perspective and this, you know, this idea of if you're a Christian and can relate to this, this idea where, you know, how do you. How do you give up your only. How do you give up your only son, you know, for. For the world.

Wow.

You know, I mean, I, I shared with you, I grew up in the church. And so this is just, you know, this is something that I was thinking about in the moment was just. She was so precious and her cry was so perfect and all of these things. As a dad, then I couldn't help but think, but how in the world could I ever give her up? And it actually deepened my faith. It deepened my ability to believe in, you know, in what I cannot see. And that was pretty. That was pretty awesome experience.

That's a definite attitude booster, Ben. There's no doubt about that. And I think that's beautiful. Thanks for sharing that. But now we're gonna go in and have a little fun. Because you got 10 years old, I'm guessing you probably played a little football when you were 10, maybe a little hockey when you were 10. Maybe you were bullied when you were 10, or maybe you were the bully when you were 10. What was your attitude? Do you remember being 10? And what was the attitude lesson there for you?

What grade would that have been?

That's gonna put you in about third or fourth grade.

Okay. So I was, you know, I was high, free spirited, you know, kind of wanted everybody to like me, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get that. And so during. During a reading class in fourth grade, Lakeside elementary, small little town in Minnesota, Chisaga Lakes. I got dared to crawl around the room and break everybody's pencil. And while everybody was off reading, I. I went around and I opened up all their little pencil kits and I broke everybody's pencil and I got into some serious trouble. And.

So how did you get caught? Somebody ratted you out? Did you get flipped on?

I totally got flipped on, yeah, probably by the kid that asked me to do it. And so that was an important attitude lesson of having integrity and doing the right thing when no one's watching.

Right. So the integrity is what you did. I'm guessing your dad probably wasn't a spanker, but were you close?

Oh, no, they were Spanker. The Righteous Rod. Yep, that happened.

I love it. Broke every pencil in the room. That's good. Okay, so we didn't talk about your high school career much, but that's okay. 20 years old, you're at University of Minnesota, and I'm guessing you're a sophomore, maybe a junior. Do you remember being 20? Do you remember turning 20 and whatever was going on in your life? What was the attitude lesson there from whatever story that may come from being 20?

Gosh, probably if I'm going back from my perspective today, it would be that entitlement is destructive. Yeah, it's an. It's destructive. I. You know, I. Things were going so well, and I was one of the top tight ends in the country, and I let a lot of that go to my head. And. And I think it created quite a few bad habits for me in college that had, you know, consequences relationally and educationally, you know, that just, you know, it made the output in other areas of my life average when they should have been elite. Yeah. You know, and I. And so if I could go back and speak to that person, I would speak against the attitude of entitlement and instead, you know, the attitude of submissiveness and humility and hard work and all.

Those good qualities, you would have smacked that guy upside the head and say, get real, dude.

Yep. Right.

Were you drafted?

I was supposed to be, but I had a serious abdominal injury my senior year, and it took me out of the draft. I got a medical red flag by all the teams because of the injury.

Wow. What was that injury?

So that was a bilateral sports hernia where I actually tore the abdominal muscles off the pubic bone. It was a pretty serious deal. But, Glenn, it was my miracle story to the NFL because two months before the draft, I speak at an event on campus, and I open for Tony Dungy.

Whoa.

I say, hey, Coach, if you care about us Gophers, if you really love this university, because he was a former Gopher, if you care about this university, you're going to draft me in the upcoming draft. And 700 alumni there were all cheering. And he gets up and he says, you know, we just drafted Dallas Clark last year, great Pro bowl tight end, so we're not going to be looking for a tight end. And then he paused and he came back to the mic. He said, if for some reason you slip through the cracks, for some reason you don't get drafted, I promise I'll be the first to call.

Whoa.

It went in one ear, out the other. So I go to the draft, I get red flagged by the teams. The draft day comes, I don't get drafted. Every name, you know, gets called except for mine. Embarrassing. I think my career is over. I'm still injured. I go to my agent's office, the free agent market opens. Five seconds after the phone rings on his desk, I pick it up. Tony Dungy.

I'll be doggone. Wow.

Tony Dungy and Bill Polian. And they called and they said, you know, we didn't think you were gonna fall through, but we know what your injury is and we know how to Fix it. So we want you to be a Colt. We know how talented you are. When you're healthy, don't even think about playing the first year. Just get better. Will pay you as though you're a starting rookie. Here's a little signing bonus. And the next year, Dallas Clark goes down with a concussion. Last game in preseason, I start against Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens score a touchdown on Deion Sanders in the third quarter. And for the next three years, I get to, I start alongside Dallas Clark and some of the greatest players in history and win a Super Bowl. Not. None of that happens if it's not for one man practicing a chosen culture. And that's all Tony Dungy.

And it doesn't happen if you weren't public speaking.

Wow. Yeah, think about that. That's pretty cool.

And so, yeah, so like, what was that? Were you were. You didn't know you wanted to be a speaker? Did they just say, Ben, you're the guy that's going to talk before Tony? Or how did that all go down?

I mean, I, I started speaking professionally in college.

Oh, cool. Okay.

I started speaking, I started speaking and I was doing a lot of faith based speaking as well with FCA and athletes in action.

Awesome.

Yeah, but, but I was speaking at that time, and so I think that's probably the reason why I got. And I was a captain that year, so I think giving me that platform.

Wow. What a great story. That's awesome. I love it. I probably saw you catch the touchdown. There's no doubt. All right, so now football, I don't know, were you still playing at 30 or not? But do you remember turning 30? Do you remember your 30th birthday? And what's your attitude lesson from 30?

So that was, that was 29. 30 was, was the retirement due to injury. So that was a crazy. That was a pretty intense time in my life. My, My birthday is June 30, so it was my golden birthday.

Yes.

And my wife threw a pretty unbelievable party for me at the time. It was the new Gopher Stadium. And we blacked out and had a bunch of people there. And, you know, it was, I think it was an attitude of. I think the attitude lesson there would have, you know, if I could go back is trust.

Yeah.

You know, because I was, I was just beginning this process of having to redefine myself and there was a lot of uncertainty and I wish I would have had, you know, more trust, you know, for the process. And, you know, and there's so much there, Glenn, to be Honest with you. Intentionality. I wish I was more intentional that time. And wisdom. I wish I had more wisdom at that time.

We always do.

I could probably keep going, but, yeah, that, that was. There was a lot of attitude. Opportunities for reflection during that big life transition.

Yeah. And Ben, people are listening to this podcast because they are that person right now, right. Where you're 30. Maybe it's a personal reversal, a financial reversal, a professional reversal, and they're going, I'm going to try this. Glen Bill get Attitude podcast. Ben Youtek may have something for me. So chances are somebody is feeling the way you felt at 30. And what's your advice to them? You know, you look at your career, your career ends, just like you said. What am I going to do? I'm lost knowing what you know now. Right. It's like, what's the 1, 2, 3 playbook for them? If somebody is sitting there going, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with my life now, because this just happened to me, like, what would your advice be? To get them to bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to go?

Yeah, I'd say, for one, the first thing that comes to my mind is be in the right huddle. You know, be in the right huddle. Like, surround yourself with people that genuinely care about you and take some time to spend some time in discovery with those people, you know, and make those people a part of your vocational platform. Make the. Make some of those people a part of your relational and emotional platform, and make some of those people a part of your spiritual platform. That way you're getting some unique perspectives, you know, around the foundational parts of your identity.

That's awesome.

And start there. You know, be careful of the shiny object. You know, I. I've never. I've never had a high level of criticality or the ability to, you know, to evaluate ideas with precision. I'm a creative, and so as a creative and as an emotional and relational person, I can be very distracted by the shiny object, you know, and. And I've. I've. I've chased a number of those shiny objects that really took me down paths where if I just would have paused and if I would have gone back to my huddle and done some discovery, I could have said no where I needed to say no.

Yeah, that's really, really good. Anything else? Or you want to leave it at 2?

Oh, and then maybe, maybe the last one would be have joy. You know, take. Take a deep breath and, and look around and Just see everything from the beauty in your surroundings, in life, when you look up at the stars in the sky and the trees and just this amazing place that we get to be alive in to your family, to your friends. You know, oftentimes we, you know, we can worry so much more than, than we need to because if we just pause and look around and breathe, we, we tend to see that there's a lot of good to celebrate and, and I, I failed at doing that. And my wife would tell you that, and I'm sure my daughters would tell you that it, you know, at different, at different points in my life and it's been something I've really wanted to, to work on, to develop and to give back to, to them. Because there's just so much to be thankful for.

Yes.

If I don't pause and actually think about that, I can, I can get very close minded and, and it never, it never creates, you know, an enjoyable atmosphere when that happens. Not in our house at least, or.

Just go to grandpa's. One, two, three. Let's play hockey.

Let's play hockey. Let's go.

All right, so you just turned 40, right? And you're there. And so as you sit there as a 41 year old, what's the attitude less on 40 for you?

Gosh, Fortitude, endurance. I think that I'm coming into a point in my life now where the amount of clarity has never been stronger. I believe that my calling is now truly in front of me. And so now it's really about taking ownership of that, running the race with everything I have and enduring and pushing through, you know, the tough, you know, the obstacles, you know, to be successful, you know, first for my faith, my family, and then for all those that I have a chance to come in contact with. So I've always been a big dreamer, man. So that's why I use these types of words because I just think that there's so much opportunity to do incredible things for other people. Just have to go for it.

I love it. So as we walk through your life, we got faith, we got integrity, we got entitlement is destructive, we got building trust and then finally having that fortitude and that endurance. So that's the exercise we do. It's always so fun to do that. Two last questions. Number one, what's the attitude lesson those four girls teach you?

Oh my gosh. That's a whole other podcast.

We can, we can do part two later. That's fine.

They, they, they have taught me that I need to have an attitude of A hero. Because I'm the first example of what a man, of what a man is to them. I'm the first example of how a man treats a woman, of how a man works for their family. You know, I'm the first example of how a man, you know, you know, thinks things through, the decisions that he makes. I mean, the list goes on. So it really is about being their hero and it sets the bar really high. But it should be really high because they deserve it. And so that, that's, that's, I think especially now, especially when my daughter, daughters are all coming into their teenage years, it's like, okay, you know, it's time to, it's time to be, it's time to be that guy. And even at 41, I, you know, I got to continue to grow up, you know, and continue to get better. And so that's my commitment to them.

That's awesome. I got a 35 year old daughter and that commitment will not waiver or minimize the older they get, especially if they give you grandbabies, that's for sure. So, Ben, we always end our podcast with giving you the ability to talk directly to our gappers, to our listeners. We have thousands of people throughout the world that listen to this podcast and we just love people to give their message of hope. And certainly with your background, especially with your faith and your compassion for others and your commitment to serving others, I have a feeling this hope message is going to be awesome. So if you could just finish this podcast and give a message of hope to the people that need it that are listening to you right now.

Sure. Thanks, Glenn. You know, we have the only super bowl ring in the history of football to have a non negotiable belief system engraved in the side of the ring. And it's the word faith and it had nothing to do with religion. It was really built on a powerful acronym that said freedom for all individuals to trust and hope in each other. And it's really powerful when you think about this happening in an NFL locker room. But it's. If you could, if Coach Dungy could take 53 of the most diverse people on the planet and empower them, inspire them to trust and hope in each other, then he's just put together the strongest team. And so, you know, I would just, I would encourage you to, you know, to do some discovery in your own life. What are those non negotiables that drive what you believe, why you believe it and how you want to behave it? Take ownership of those, but don't just leave it there. Start to think through how you can actually practice these, because the ripple effect of you practicing powerful life principles like these is going to be insurmountable. It's going to have an incredible waterfall effect on everyone that comes in contact with you. So best of luck on that perspective.

I love it. And there's you. Text Super Bowl Championship ring right up there. We are on Spotify. All of our podcasts go to vlogcasts on Spotify. So you can take a look at Ben's ring. I've never heard that acronym for face, so that is so, so cool. Ben. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Ben Utech. Ben, thanks for giving us your time, your heart, your soul, and we will see you all on the next next Get Attitude podcast.