Renée Piane

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We were taught to give back into the community when we were children. So all of my brothers and sisters all kind of have that same imprint of giving love to the world.

Yet attitude means how can I proactively change the way I think? How can I proactively increase my life? How can I proactively create better relationships and better work situations for me to enjoy it and welcome to the Gap. The Get Attitude Podcast. The Gap Bridging the gap from who you are to who you want to become and from where you are to where you want to be. My name is Glenn Bill, founder of the University of Attitude, keynote speaker and author of the number one international best selling book, the ABCs of Attitude. I've been so fortunate to help tens of thousands of people get attitude. You know, attitude is the secret formula of success for your business and for your life and for your emotions and relationships. And this podcast is going to help you get yours. So let's get some. Welcome everyone. Please remember to subscribe, rate and review and most importantly, share this podcast with your friends. And we are in month number six. We are talking about probably the most important attitude booster that there is, which is control your emotions. That's the big one. When everybody, when I ask them, hey, what's the most important attitude booster? They're like, oh yeah, number six, control your emotions. And when we look about, when we look at failed relationships, we know that it's emotional instability. It's, it's people who are lashing out and not in control of their emotions that is breaking down the walls. And what have we done? What have we done at the Get Attitude Podcast? Well, we got what I consider to be one of the leaders and influencers in the nation, Ms. Renee P. Known as the love Designer to come on our show. Renee has written two books, Get Real About Love, the Love Mechanics, which is a great book for men. That was her first book, I believe. And she's also offering some incredible, incredible stuff for, for our gappers and she's going to tell you what that is, but she's got a five week course called Get Ready for Love and she's also got A personal coaching session called the Love Designer Coaching. So, Renee P. And a man, do we need to hear from you today? Welcome to the Gap.

Hi. I am so excited to be here after meeting you. I love your message. First of all, Glenn, it's very, very important. And after 29 years in the love industry, attitude is everything when it comes to love. And when people get hurt, they just lose their. They lose their faith in love, they lose their heart, and they. They damage the way that they feel about themselves. So I'm here to help.

I love it. Well, we're going to walk through a whole series of questions. And you know, Renee and I, when we first met, I think we're on the phone for about an hour. You guys are going to love this session and this podcast because Rene's got real answers. And we all know that the quality of your love life is determined by the quality of questions you ask yourself about your love life. And Renee has dedicated her life to helping people. So, Renee, what I'd love to do is. Let's just talk. Let's start with your book, the Get Real About Love. Feel free to hold that up so everybody can see what it looks like. I'm sure you can get on Amazon everywhere. Let's talk about what, what that book is, what it's all about. What, what's the message? What are you doing in the book for our Gappers?

Well, it's very interesting. If you look at the COVID is it says get Real Love is in bigger letters. Right? So it's a two message cover name, Get Real Love. The way to get it is to get real about it. And many people have a broken heart. With the divorce rate being so high, I'm offering the secrets to opening their heart again to do evaluation about themselves, the way they think, the way that relationships may have been imprinted from their childhood and their lineage, which is very important, which is very. The perfect topic for controlling the emotions. Because sometimes it's unconscious with people that are. And I found and I speak, I'm speaking all over the country myself, is about the art of balancing love, life, family, and business. Because people are way out of balance right now, which makes them lonelier than ever. And they need some inspiration to bring that sparkle back into their life again. Because I don't care. You know, when I speak, I wear a Wonder Woman costume and I come out and I say, yeah, we all have our superpowers, but at the end of the day when you go home, you have to have somebody to share it with, right? And the Most successful people in the world. When their love lives go a little shaky and it affects their business bottom line, it affects their emotions, it affects all their relationships, and it takes them down. A lot of times it takes them down. So we're here to bring them up with a different attitude and some secrets of mine because I was guilty of being one of those alcohol. Not alcoholics, workaholics.

We're all alcoholics. We don't want to admit it. That's step one.

I don't drink. I can't drink very much because I'm very little. But I had. I was a workaholic when I pioneered the first speed dating company in America. I was flying everywhere to save the world and bring more love to the planet. And I'm still doing the same, but now I'm married. So I'm really excited that I'm here.

Well, let's talk about, since you mentioned it, some of the steps that you mentioned. Maybe give us the first one, two or three. And obviously I wish we had a whole day to interview. You're so full of information. But when it comes to your relationships or when it comes to getting real about love, what do you think the most one or. Well, the one. The one or two most important things are? And then maybe give us a story to help people understand or how to make that happen.

Well, first of all, you have to evaluate where you are in the love game. And I have a whole list here. I don't know if you can see it, but I'm going to read it.

Great.

This is one of my. It says, what is your relationship style? Are you in the midst of a breakup?

Right.

Happily married or maybe feeling out of sync with your loved one? Just re entering the dating game and confused. You might have what I call the one size syndrome, which means you're always striving for something and then you're gonna find love. You're content on your own and still single. Or maybe ready for love in a situation where you have a temp in your life or you're a busy single parent or assisting aging parents. I call that the sandwich generation. Now, these are most of the phases that people that I coach are in because they're working people, right? So if you're in the midst of a breakup, your emotions are rolling everywhere. So you have to look at your own individual situation. Very personally and business people, they want instant results. Like, that's how we are. People call me and they go, I want you to fix me right now. I'm like, okay, do you Even have time to evaluate your heart. Right? Do you have time to evaluate your heart? So I suggest for anybody out there, if you're really serious about this part of your life and it's feeling out of sync, then you need to get real with where you're at and realize that people all over the world and everybody's in a phase. So people assume sometimes when they're breaking up, they're like they want to rush into love and they jump into things too fast. And my system is to make you take a get real look at how you are treating your own heart.

Renee what I, what I, what I love about that is people always say, hey, can you fix my attitude right now? And I said, you know, after a 45 keynote minute keynote, I said, you're still going to have the same crappy attitude you had most likely when you walked in here. And it's the same thing with your love. And I'm, and I'm like, guys, it took you all of your life to screw things up this bad. It's going to take a little bit of time. But your point of self evaluation first start with you just absolutely amazing. And if you want to control your emotions, how can you possibly do that if you don't know where you are? So I really love that. So what's the next step after you get. And those questions were amazing. We can maybe put those in the show notes Jason because just powerful, powerful, insightful question. What's our next step?

The next step is to really take a look at your role modeling because as a, I mean I know I grew up Italian, I grew up in a very passionate Italian family and we all have our family stuff, right? So when you see how your grandparents, parents. I just did this TEDx about the power of your love lineage. Our lineage causes us to follow paths from the generations before. So whether you're Persian or you're Indian or you're, you know, Chinese, Japanese, it doesn't matter. But our cultures influence the way our attitudes about. So for me, I had, you know, I admitted in my whole book that and it's very interesting because when authors usually write, they usually are giving advice. Well, I'm giving advice from experience because I grew up in a family with three generations of cheaters. Okay. So I did a study of my family. I'm very much into studying the patterns in families. And this is what I do in my coaching is helping you to look at how you were installed with your attitude from somewhere. My installation was pretty rotten. Men cannot be trusted. Get your own Money, Become independent. Don't trust anyone with your heart. Now, that is a pretty big deal for a little girl to see. Many women coming to my mom's for tea to hear that men couldn't be trusted. So whatever core belief that you have affects your energy, your attitude, and your actions to get out into the field again. So if you've been hurt, sometimes it's unconscious and it becomes a part of you. So each person out there that's listening to this, as much as you're successful. And maybe your attitude at work is really focused and great, but when your love life is not working or it doesn't even exist, it's because there's something blocking it. So I uncover the blocks quickly because I've worked with over 500,000 singles. I pioneered the first speed dating company, and I saw people sit for a five. Now, this is what happens in business. You're meeting people, you're building rapport. You're either up or you're down. You're feeling good about yourself or you're not. So it all depends on how you're rewiring, wiring your brain with different thoughts about love.

Sure.

So I'm asking anybody out there, what percentage of you right now in your life, no matter what phase that triggered you when I read that list is, believes that love exists for you. The percentage is it 50%, 60, 70, 80? You know, some people say I'm 100% ready for love, but I never go out, so their actions and their intentions really aren't the same. So I help people to align all of those things. It's really fascinating how people stop themselves and it's not even conscious.

Yeah. And I'm sure it's so fulfilling to you when your students and. Or the people you help actually find love and are able to change their lives. What I'd love to know is, is, like, what are the two questions that you get asked all the time? And I'm guessing one of them is why can't I find a man? Right. Or why can't I find a woman? So tell me the answer to that number one, and then tell me the question that you're just asked all the time. And maybe you've already covered it. I don't know.

You know, I have a whole list here. You know, about, first of all, being honest with yourself. Are you really making love a priority? Number one, if you don't put love like a workout, like eating healthy, like making sure you get yourself together before you go out. I say that every single day, no matter where you are, you can meet somebody.

Sure.

And people always think that there's going to be this big grand event that's coming up in their life, like the party that they're being invited to a month and a half from now. I'm like, there's something to do within a scope of where you live and that you could be missing opportunities because you have a set schedule. You get up at a certain time, you do the same things every single day. Men and women are all looking for love everywhere. So I'm always out and I teach flirting classes. I am a master at flirting. But it's really all about being present in the moment. When people, they're so busy. So say if you're person that has a 9 to 5 job, I suggest for those people because they have a system like they're sort of a routine. You have to break your routines. Because single people usually go out for coffee before work. Sometimes they'll stop and have breakfast and read the paper. They'll go to a coffee shop locally or they'll go out for lunch. Sometimes people that are single go out after work to happy hour. Most people don't break their pattern. So I used to get up really early because the coffee shop down the street from my house was filled with businessmen in suits. I like businessmen. So if you want to meet businessmen, you have to go to a place where they stop in really quickly in the morning to grab a cup of coffee or whatever they're eating for breakfast usually, which isn't the healthiest option. But I say get yourself every day ready for success. As if you are not only going to have new clients that day, but I get dressed up in the morning, even if I go to the gym. You should change your routines. If you're not meeting people with the root, with the routine or even have any new routine, you have to put yourself in places where there's people. And depending on your community, like I have a community, I can walk right across the street and get lunch and it's all right there. If you live in a lonely community, you have to go to places that is local in your local community. The grocery store at 7 o', clock, ladies, I went there one night. Women were bitching and complaining, I can't find any men. And I went to the grocery store and there was men everywhere in every aisle, alone with their little basket with.

A steak, not knowing where the hell to go or how to get anything lonely.

And I'm like looking down the aisle. So I got my phone, I go, I'm at the grocery store. Where are you? It's seven o'. Clock. Every bachelor in my neighborhood is here. And I went down the aisle and showed it was all men in the grocery store.

Hilarious.

There's men everywhere. I love to go to conferences because networking conferences, people should be networking. Chamber of commerce is a basic networking. I go to networking groups and I go to meetups or to learn things. So if you want to meet interesting people, whether it's the coin, the cryptocurrency or real estate development, I go where I used to go, where the men go, and I still do because I go to networking groups all the time. People need to change the routines. Number two, you need to look at if you have eliminated the passenger remaining in your vehicle. Some busy, successful people have a temp, okay? Somebody that they date that they know they're never going to marry. Women will say, oh, I have a lover on the side, but I'm really looking for a husband. I'm like, really? So you work six days a week, you have a son, and four days out of this, six days that you have, you have some guy temp. And men do the same thing too. Okay, let's get real. People sometimes have somebody that they call the sideline person, and that is a passenger that takes up the space that you should be eliminating so that you can really focus on love. So I have men call me a lot and they say, you know, women don't make it easy to meet them these days. Now, ladies, think about this. If you, you are a beautiful woman and you're expecting a man just to come right up and say, good morning, you look lovely. Now, men are too afraid even to say hello. Okay, so you men are waiting. Ladies, I have taught men for over 30 years, men are very private about their affairs and they need green light signals from you from across the room. When you see a man walk into a place and you think that he looks handsome or what, you know, go stand in, line up, you know, near him and say, you look really handsome today. He may be married, but you're being open with the possibility of just saying good morning. Other people are watching. Everyone is so afraid. Everyone's on their phones. People have to get off their phones and actually look at people and say good morning. A good morning, a smile, you look handsome. Or even talking to strangers. Your husband or wife right now could be a stranger to you. The only way you're going to meet them is to say something.

I love it, Renee. And so just to kind of meld all this, you Know what I'm hearing is, number one, love is all around you. Number two, the opportunity is all around you. Number three, you have to be ready and you have to be present in your love, an attraction. You gotta wake up believing it and be present in the. Because you know that love is found in the strangest places, right? And so the bottom line is, why can't I find the right man? It's because you gotta find the right you first. When it's all said and done, which is what you're saying. I want to just shift though, because I'd love to hear your answer to this. What is your definition of emotion and what are the biggest mistakes emotionally that you see men and women making when it comes to either meeting people or being in love?

Well, I hear it all the time. They have self doubt because they've been rejected a few times. It triggers usually patterns from their childhood. In neuro linguistic programming, you have to realize that the brain stores memories as they happen to you throughout your life. So say for example, you guys will say this to me all the time. As soon as she said, well, you only work there, it triggered his oh my God, I'm not good enough for this woman.

Right?

So we all have core beliefs that were installed into our heads throughout the years. And when you can, when you, when you ask the right questions to people, which I do in my evaluation, like I ask them questions and I can hear all the negative and positive attitudes that stop them, like, oh, I've tried all the things before and it didn't work. The negative attitudes that they have about love are actually what stops them. Number one, it's the way they're thinking about themselves. They have to believe that they deserve love. And if they've been hurt, the emotional part of it sometimes gets amplified because it triggers old patterns from a childhood wound. Or you know, I mean, I remember when I was a little girl, I have stories all throughout my books that make people. It triggers their story because every person out there, I bet you you're thinking, oh God, I know exactly when that was. You know, your best friend took your boyfriend away when you were in. This happened to me when I was in ninth grade and let a boy feel her up. And I thought, oh boy, she gave him something that I didn't give. Maybe I should do that, you know. And my emotions were all over the place. And no, I stuck to my values and I stuck to my core. And your emotions have, you have to tame that one part of you that doubts yourself with the powerful part of You. And when you're going in one direction, that emotional weaker part of you needs you. The heal, the strong part of you. It's an integration of your parts. Right. And those emotions have to be uncovered. And that's sort of what I do is uncover how you're wired about love.

Now I want to let our gappers know Renee has. Renee is such a giving person and so far this has been just so good, Rene, and so fascinating on how people look at relationships and how the love, the love doctor can get in and make things happen. You have an offer for our gappers. You just want to walk through the 90 minute. The 90 minute and the ebook love designer coaching thing. And I think you also said one lucky gapper is going to get a 20 minute session with you or something. So do you just want to.

I'm going to offer. There's a gift link. You can sign up there and I will give 10 people an ebook copy of my book.

Nice.

Along with a 20 minute session just to evaluate. Maybe if you're going through something because people call me all the time. They're like, help. I'm in this situation, you know, because when somebody coaches you, it's a very personal thing and you want to trust that person and know that they have something that you want, you know, And I am a. I'm married to a very wonderful man. I've been in a relationship now for 17 years with the love of my life. I was older when I got married because I was a workaholic. I wrote my book to heal myself and I'm literally exposing my whole life to the world to say that it was me stopping me from love. I wanted to reach a certain level of success. So I'm here to help anybody out there. That kind of feels like where do I go? Because I'm stuck and I keep doing the same things again and again. You may. I call it a love loop where you kind of will meet the same type of person or maybe no one because you're not doing anything because your heart just doesn't believe that love exists. I'm telling you that it does exist. People you know, all over the world. It's interesting. I find the age groups all date differently. And since I've worked with 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s, you got to look at how anybody that you're out there, that you're going to date you, you will have all the secrets to ask the right questions to see if they're even aligned with who you are.

I love it.

Save yourself hundreds and Hundreds of dollars, guys and hours, all these dates, this girl was gorgeous, right? And I go, but did you ask for the important questions about your top values? And they go, I don't know what those are. And I go, well, let me give them to you.

Yeah, time to get into the course, right? So let me ask.

Time to get into yourself, right? Know yourself so well that you know right away this person's wrong. First question you're going to ask and you could say, well, this isn't going to be a match, you know, and save yourself a lot of time.

Now, I know that you're bridging the gap from people that are looking for love and finding love, but certainly you've had to study people that are already in love or have been married. I'd love to hear what are the two or three things that people that have been married 30 years that, man, they're just that. What are the two or three things that People do that are really got it figured out and that are working at love? And what are the two or three things that people do to sabotage their love or sabotage their married. As you look into that. So not the singles. Let's talk to our married gappers. Now tell me the one or two success formula tips and the one or two things. Boy, this is really something you need to avoid.

I have it all. Everything has to do with being in sync with your partner.

Love it.

Because of the busyness of life, children, food, you know, these are all. Where's my little list? Here I have. Okay, you have. Look, we only have so much time in our lives, right? This is part of my presentation. When I speak, you got your career and making money. You got healthy eating, self care, spiritual practice, your living space, social life, love, romance, hobbies. Now, most people are in one of these situations. As a married couple, both me and my husband, we make very conscious timeouts for each other, right? Getting in sync. So these are the ways we stay in sync. I call it the three T's. When you're busy, you have to have the right when you want to speak. Because when couples are busy, sometimes you might ignore, I think, not really feeling that connection. There might not be a connection because you're working on a project and you keep thinking, once this is done, right, I'm going to take a break with my wife and you might get a disconnect. So I have all of these things that I do with my husband. First of all, you need to have a heart around, okay? I give every married couple that I help get married or to save their marriage. I'm working with a lot of couples right now because people see me and my husband and how connected we are. Every couple has to have a heart to use as a symbol to connect to the heart of the person that they love. Remember, this person is the person you vowed to. To. To have and to hold through good and through bad, through all the ups and downs. Okay? And my marriage over the last three years has been really crazy because we had a lot of death and illnesses in the family, and it tested our love because of work. Balance. Right. So it's all about being in sync. And how can you reconnect when you've been out of balance or maybe you haven't been. You've been selfish, or you haven't been connected. Then what happens is the sexual energy gets diffused, and one person wants to connect sexually, and the other person ignores that person because they just don't feel the connection anymore.

Right.

Somebody's got to take the step, you know, whether it's making a meal, a special evening, and reconnecting, and really get in touch. And I actually have a whole article written, so if somebody writes to me, I will send it to you. It's on my blog, how to stay in sync for couples.

And where. And where's your blog? Is it@get realaboutlove.com this is.

This is. I'll read a little bit out. And it says, if you're out of sync in your marriage, the biggest mistakes that couple make is that they're overworking. And the stress. The stress of our hectic life.

Sure.

You know, are not in balance. And I see this all the time. This is what my main core.

Love it, Renee. This is so good. It's so good.

Many. Stop. Appreciation. Appreciation of the little things that your partner do is very important. And, of course, finding out their love style. Now, I am a auditory. I like to talk about things. And sometimes my husband is so focused, and he does the talk to the hand. Okay. Talk to the hand thing drives me nuts because when I was a little girl, my dad used to do that to me. So this is an emotional trigger, right? So he would go like this. I go, honey, you know, and he'd go, do the talk to the hand. So when I was a little girl, my dad. I used to run into his office, and he would do that. And I. And I told my husband, I said, I'd really rather you not do that, because it makes me feel like you're ignoring me.

And it doesn't make you. It doesn't make him look attractive to you?

No, he. It turns me off. Hello? One minute to go. Hey, baby, I'll be with you. So I started to resent that. So when resentments build up, you stop nurturing each other and appreciating all the wonderful things that you have. Right. So whenever I get that way, I think, wow, why am I feeling this need to have him give me this attention right now? And I ask myself, what do I need to do for myself so that I don't have to rely on him all of the time for that? So I have my support system. I have a group. That's why I host groups, so that you can come and talk to somebody about it. Because, believe it or not, you and your wife, you or your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, whoever's listening, we all have stress. So you have to know your partner well enough to know that they don't mean that. So we created, like, a time frame for our night call so we can let go of the day, write all of our lists. I shower off the day so that I can be fully present with him.

Oh, great idea.

Sometimes I get into my Wonder Woman mode and I can't sleep because I have something big, you know, a bit like you. You get excited, you're speaking.

I didn't. I didn't sleep last night, so. Yeah. And I was wide awake. Right. It's crazy.

Why you were thinking.

Because I knew I was getting ready to interview the love designer today, and I'm like, this is gonna be so good.

Well, my thing is keep marriage sacred and spicy, okay? Somebody's got to be in charge of it. I think, personally, ladies, we run the relationship to a certain degree. I lead my husband with my feminine love, and it comes with the timing of when I. This is so important. It's about the timing of when you say something to him or her.

Amen. Amen.

And it's the tone of the voice, okay? So if I go in and go, hey, you know, you've been working, and I'm really upset, and, you know, come on, that's not going to work. It just never works, you know, being the bitch tone doesn't work, so. Never works. So watch your timing. Now, with my husband, if he's hungry, not good time. So I feed him. I make sure the timing is good, because when he is on a job, he is so amazing and so focused. So I come in and I go, I know you're working on this big project. I put my hand. So. Timing, tone, touch.

Right.

Good touch. Shoulders. I rub his shoulders and I usually am wearing something cute, right? And it's 9:30 and my offices are about to shut down. So I hold up either a little nightie or I'm in it, and I say, my office is, is about to close, right? I just wanted to give you an invitation. But the invitation is going to be over in 30 minutes because you're working late. And then I touch them and I give them a little kiss and I walk away.

You're the best. Let me. Let me just talk about. That's the power of meaning, right? It's like, what thing. I always use this when a woman goes, do you know what time it is? Or if a woman goes, do you know what time it is? Two different meanings, right?

Different total meetings, just by the tone and the timber of your voice.

So give me the tease again. That is so freaking good.

Okay. It's all about the timing.

Yes.

It's all about touch and it's all about the tone.

All right, Now, I always throw a.

Little food in there because I'm Italian. We're always eating. You know, if we ever fight, you know, I always say, okay, we're gonna be angry for a couple minutes and then we're gonna hug and get over. We try never to go to bed angry. Or if we are, we give each other a kiss and I say, tomorrow this stress will be over. And I think prayer is very important if you are a religious person. I'm a big person that likes to pray and thank God for every blessing that I have and that we have. And interestingly enough, this week or two weeks ago, he pulled out his back. So I've been up almost every night taking care of him with ice and heat. And it's been really hard because when one of you are up or down, you never know when life is going to bring you challenges. So you have to be committed to the commitment. And you need. Somebody needs to open the door. So when you're really disconnected, you know, you might want to buy a beautiful heart and put it on your husband or wife's desk or girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, and say, we need a heart to heart because something is not happening. We're not in sync. I want to get in sync. But it really does take for each of you to do some reflecting before you get together. To be clear, just like you do to prepare for work, this is your love life. You know, if your love life is out of sync. People call me all the time, they're, I'm leaving my husband. And I said, really? You're going to leave your whole lifestyle. What happened? You know, try and uncover the emotion, since we're talking about emotion that got stirred up in you. So recently, I was working with a couple who. The man got a new job and he was working long, long hours. She was taking care of everything. She started spending money and he was working longer hours, and they were getting further and further apart. But actually what it really was was just this disconnection, and she wasn't appreciating everything he was doing, and she was blowing all the money to get some love. You know, people either shop, they eat, they drink, they do things to sabotage what's going on, right? So you need to ask yourself, what do you think caused these situations? What is the intention or outcome that you want to experience with your partner in the near future? And are you both going to set the intention to make it work? Both of you have to be on the same page to really make it work. So if one person, not all fully in, somebody's got to make a change. You know, you guys got to get real about the selfishness or pulling away, you know, because when. When women pull away from a man once, pull away from a man twice, and reject him, reject him. How is he supposed to get into a romance zone with you if you're not saying, you know, I know I've been absent. I'd like to give this a shot. You know, if you're mad at him or her, somebody's got to break the ice. Because you committed to this, you're either in or you're out.

That's so good. We are with Renee P. And a. The love designer, the author of Get Real About Love, the author of the Love Mechanics, and the designer of a five week fantastic course that says get ready for love. Renee, you have really just hit a home run with us and for our gappers. I know that there are people out there that are struggling in relationships that are looking for love, that feel that they have no emotion. They feel empty. And they're saying, how can I create fulfillment and love in my life? And I think this podcast is going to help them. Renee, are you ready to play knowledge through the decades?

Absolutely.

All right.

Study of my whole lineage? Why not?

All right, so what we're going to do is walk you through your life, and we're going to just wants you to give us the quick attitude lesson from each decade in your life. And we're going to start with childbirth. Now, we do have some people that remember actually being born, but if you don't remember being born. I want you to think about either your children or somebody who has a baby right now. What is the attitude lesson of a newborn baby?

Innocence and joy.

Love it. Yeah. You know, just living in innocence because we're all tainted right afterwards. And then just the sheer joy. Even when they're crying, we still feel the joy, don't we? I love it. That's a great answer. One we've never had. Now I want you to think about, where did you grow up?

I grew up in Delaware. Wilmington, Delaware.

Wilmington, Delaware. So I don't want you to put yourself in Wilmington, Delaware. I want you to put yourself at 10 year old. Did you go to Catholic schools when you were 10?

I went to a Catholic school and drove the nuns crazy. Yes, I did.

So I want you to put yourself at that school when you were 10 years old. I want you to think about either something that happened to you. A quick story, but what was your attitude at 10 or what did you learn at 10 when it comes to. Well, whatever your attitude?

I always. I was a people connector, even in school.

Wow.

Used to have me take the shy, nerdy girls and integrate them with the cool people. So I was always a helper, I guess you would say, sort of a messenger or mentor in school.

Man, that is really cool.

I changed the uniform when I was 10 years old because it was cold and they had these ugly Peter Pan shirts. And I said, it's freezing in here. You turn the heat up and I'll wear my Peter Pan shirt. But until then, I'm changing the uniform. So I influenced people to wear turtlenecks all throughout the winter. And the nuns had to change the uniform because everybody was doing it.

I mean, that is so great. The fashionista. So then you go from this third and fourth grader at 10 years old, and then all of a sudden you turned into this woman of 20. I'm guessing you went to college. I'd love to know where you were at 20. And what did you learn when you were 20 about attitude?

Well, actually, I went to beauty school when I was in high school. I worked in a beauty salon. I had mentors that were very positive attitude people. And I was studying metaphysics, you know, psychology. I studied all throughout, all the way up until now. I'm always studying the mind and the body. So I was in school while I was studying to be a cosmetologist. And as a cosmetologist, I would touch people and they would tell me all their problems, which then led me even close. And I did weddings I was a wedding planner.

Oh, my gosh.

And help people to get married and redesign their gowns and their attitude and their mindset about marriage. And often wrote their vows and helped them to have sacredness when they got married.

That. I mean, boy, the Lord has touched your life. I mean, you look back at it and it's amazing, right? Just through 20, what he was setting you up to be. Isn't that crazy?

Well, it was. It really felt like a mission, even when I was in school, because people were so lonely, and I just had this way of connecting people. And I became a community connector. My father was also. It was an influence from my parents. They were community connectors and helped build the churches and old people's homes. And we were taught to give back to. Into the community when we were children. So all of my brothers and sisters all kind of have that. That same imprint of giving love to the world. So my father's company was loveworks, and I named my production company loveworks to bring more love to the planet. So it started young.

That is really. That is cool. So we've gotten to 20, and now I'd love to know, number one, do you remember where you were on your 30th birthday birthday? Did you have a party and what was the attitude lesson when you turned 30 or in your 30s?

Well, because I am a party planner, I had parties from. I moved to Los Angeles when I was 28 years old. I had bought property when I was 20, and I used all my money from my property to move to become a community connector here in Los Angeles. So when I came here, I started throwing cocktail parties called Love Works cocktail parties to make people meet. And I gave awards away to people that were doing good in the community. And on my 30th birthday, I had a big party in LA and I flew back home and I had a party in my family. We were big party people because my dad was a caterer. So I grew up hosting parties and throwing parties. And it's just a natural gift of mine to put people together. So I put. And on that day, I met my very best friend. Rhonda came to my birthday and she said, I don't know who you are, but I want to be your friend.

Oh, my gosh.

I met her on my 30th birthday. Magic always happens when people come together.

Yeah. So that's the attitude lesson. Bringing people, facilitating togetherness. And I always say, when we talk to salespeople, you know, people, they have the call reluctance, and I'm afraid and I say, look it, your next call is just your best friend you haven't met yet. It's just a strange, you know, it's your best friend. Everybody's your best friend you haven't met yet. So what a Beautiful message for 30. Now I know that you're very young and you're almost 40, but we're going to go ahead and do 40 anyway. Did you have a party at 40 and what was your attitude lesson in your 40s?

Well, that was kind of a. I mean, if I tell you how, what year it was, well, you don't have to do that.

We'll disguise it.

I had written my first book and that was when I really had changed some of my mindset about love. I decided that my career had reached a pinnacle. I was running the first speed dating company in America. I felt like I was bringing. My mission was really in full swing and I gave myself the permission slip to allow love into my life at that time. And that was when I started to focus on, on having balance in my life. And I created an amazing life with my work. But I wanted to have both. So that was when I was like into this, like, full on commitment to have the kind of love that other people wanted to have. And I went on a search to find that. That was the year that I made that, like, strong commitment to finding love.

Yeah. And that's like attitude booster number seven, grow or die as we touch on it. So the attitude lesson there is really is getting clarity, which is a lot of our guests. So we will finish up what is in store for you. Do you remember your 50th? What's the attitude lesson of being 50? And what can you tell our gappers? As a last piece of advice for those that are out there listening about their love, their love relationships, let's just wrap it all up with that.

All right, well, number one, you can find love at any time, any age. There is no. Stop believing. You know, you can't meet people when you're in your 50s. Okay. I met my husband when I was in my 40s and everyone was shocked, even my own father. Like, because of what I do. It's so personal. It was hard. You know, I wrote I was coaching men and I was putting singles together. A lot of men didn't want to share me with the world. So know yourself. Number one, I knew myself. Number two, I felt like at 50 I had had a health scare. And I am totally into celebrating life each day.

Amen.

You have to be grateful for every blessing you have to thank to create the love not just with romantic love, but to have a support system, to have people that are aligned with your vision. And I got rid of all because of who I am. Everybody wants to talk to me. You know, I wanted to find out who my real core family of friends were here in California because it's 3,000 miles away from my family. So create your core family, your spiritual family to support you in your vision. That's number one.

Awesome.

Number two, but more importantly, remain young. You know, don't think of age as a number. I'm older than 50, you know, I don't want to say how old, because I always say I'm forever 29. I'm into anti aging. I'm into health and wellness and balance and meditation and prayer. All of those things contribute to staying young. But it's all about what you think, what you say, and what you pray becomes your reality. Every attitude. That's why we're so aligned. You know, your work, Glenn, is really important because the attitude that you have about aging makes you age. If you think you're going to look old at 50, you're going to look old. People think I am 40, you know, and I'm older than that. And My husband is 61 years old. We are both like, we're here to be fantastic. Passion, love, and fun. Life is so beautiful. So just every day should be thanking God for your blessings. And if you don't have love, you can't give up. You have to know and give yourself the love and treat yourself the way that you want to be treated. If you're hard on your own heart, you're going to end up attracting people that will treat you the way you're treating yourself. So love yourself. Get in touch with what could be blocking your heart, and be honest. So when people buy this book, if you do ever buy it online, let me know. Reneeenee Piani and it comes. This is the most other important thing.

Cool. Show it to us.

You have to create vows for your life, to vow that you're going to be honest. This says, I vow that I commit to myself, that I'll take time to get real and honest about what has blocked me. I vow I will make the get real about love process a priority. I vow to inner reflection, to go deep and discover more about my lineage and my true love vision. Have a vision, but make it realistic. Do vision boards. I love teaching vision boards. If you have somebody that can teach you how to do that, or I'm even thinking about doing My version of it because I've created a vision of my dog, my home, my cars, my business. Because I believe in myself. You have to be able to market and brand yourself. This is the other important thing to feel like you're. When you leave the house in this net, I'm going to give this as a charge in the next 30 days. If you knew that the love of your life was going to appear magically, what would you be doing right now to prepare to prepare yourself? I'm getting so excited. I'm moving the camera. I got prepared. I told everyone I was getting married. I told people that I was ready for love. People thought I was crazy. I said, I'm getting married. And they go to who? I said, I don't know. But I did a vision. I'm ready and I treat. I was like acting like everybody said, you look like you're in love. I said, I am in love. I'm ready. I'm ready. But it was my attitude about it. And when it happened, if you read my book, it's pretty magical. How I met my husband was sad and happy. My mother passed away suddenly and I ended up slowing myself down and went 3,000 miles away. And I ended up running into a man that I knew when I was 20 years old, that I had told when I shook his hand that I was going to marry him someday. And he reappeared into my life and he became my husband. So there's no distance, there's no separation. It could happen in a happy thing. It could happen anywhere. It could happen in a grocery store, it could happen at a funeral. It could happen at a wedding. But you have to have an open heart. You have to have that, that vivacious feeling that love is in your, in your future. And I'm telling you it is. It's just you have to have somebody to champion you. That's why attitude, what you're doing, Glenn, is so important and it's align with what I'm doing. So anybody out there, never give up on love. Only open yourself and be one of those sparkly people that just makes somebody's day every day. So from now on, go out, flirt with life. Do three new things this week that you have never done. Say something to strangers, get off your phone, Go to a new, different gym. If you all the people at the gym. I never meet anybody there. Go to a different gym, right? If you're a health nut, why are you looking? You know, you go to places where people go. Whole Foods is the biggest pickup place here in California. It is a riot going to these healthy grocery stores. You know, every time I'm in there, I meet people and I'm married. You know, you should have fun with life and help the people. If you're married and you have friends or you're single and have friends, let people know that you're looking and stop complaining about not having someone and start to speak your love into your future.

I love it. Renee Piani, we are so honored and we're so thankful with the love that you brought to our podcast today. With number six, control your emotions. We learned a lot about emotions. We learned a lot about controlling it. Hopefully we helped our gappers with their relationships. We helped our gappers find find relationships. We helped our gappers find love. Some tricks. Please go to reneepiani.com to get all of her stuff. Make sure that you go to Amazon, order her book get real about love. It's a fantastic book. Ten of you who hit our link. If you look at our story page on our podcast, we will have a hot link in there. You're going to get free advice from this influencer in America of the number one about love designer influencer in America. Renee, it's just been fantastic. I wish we had more time. Maybe we'll pick you up on another one. Very, very grateful to you. Fantastic job.

Thank you. And Glenn, thank you for this opportunity and anyone out there. Just really take your heart into your own hands and I swear, as you treat yourself sacredly, love will show up when you least expect it. And it always I love to hear love stories. So if any of you have a fabulous love story, let me know because that's my next goal. You asked what I'm doing next. I'm finding people that have extraordinary love stories to inspire people. I wanted to say one really quick.

Sure.

As a man, I just spoke about the art of balancing love and business. And there was a therapist there who wrote a book and his girlfriend. We did Love and money and how love and money correlate. And I spoke on love and she spoke on money. And he was there and I saw them. They had that sparkle, you know. And I said, well, how did you two meet? And she said, it was the saddest thing. My husband died of cancer and his wife died of cancer and we were all friends and they were in a grief support group together and they both had lost their spouses at the same time and they had such a strong foundation of faith and friendship that they helped each other, supported each other through their sorrows of that. And they ended up realizing that may God had put them together to be together and so they had time to heal and now they're a couple and they are so excited and they were like, you know, we thought that love was never going to happen because they're both in their 60s and they found love again and they are thrilled. So I'm going to be interviewing them real soon too. So just sign up on my site. You'll see Facebook. I love Big. I'd love to hear from you people from baseball and thank you for this opportunity.

All right, that's great. That's Renee Piane and it was great having you and we will talk to you and be engaging with you. Please engage with Renee on Facebook and at her website and thank you very much. This is Glenn Bill for the Get Attitude podcast. This podcast is a part of the C Suite Radio Network. For more top business podcasts, visit C suiteradio. Com.