S3 #3 - Darrell "Flash" Gordon, MSA, JD, CFRM, Author, Speaker, And CEO - Wernle Youth & Family Treatment Center

In a world full of turmoil, despair and darkness, you need to carry the light. Season three of the Get Attitude Podcast is where we will ignite your mind, your heart and your attitude. Welcome to the Get Attitude Podcast and season three, Leaders of Inspiration and Service. And ladies and gentlemen, man, I'm telling you, we got somebody that is going to light you up today. We have a guest that is going to make you think, that is going to help you feel and hopefully bring you to action. An action that will help you bridge the gap from who you are to who you want to become. Take action to become the person that you've always dreamed about. To become that, that monster inside of you that can influence people and that can be contagious and attractive to everybody you meet. We have Mr. Darrell Flash Gordon. Since 2001, Darrell has served as CEO and President of the Wornley Youth and Family Treatment Center. His extraordinary leadership and determination have transformed that organization which was truly struggling to one with a positive national presence. Darrell's dynamic personality and ability to motivate himself and others has helped him direct the Wornley team to the 2005 Achievement of Excellence for Nonprofit Organizations of the Year Award. Now that was a long time ago and he's been doing a lot since 2005. His organization is doing a lot. And when I think about inspiration and service, I've looked this guy up. You need to look him up too. At darrell flash gordon.com 2 Rs, 2 Ls darrellflashgorden.com he is an author, he is a keynote speaker and as we mentioned, he is the CEO and president of the Wernley Youth Family. Now most of you may know him, all of my Notre Dame listeners, as one of the starting linebackers and captains, if I remember correctly, for the national champion Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Let's take a quick list to what my friend does when he is on stage.

At five years of age, I walked to kindergarten every day and got bullied. At 13 years of age I joined a gang. That's right, I joined the game. Not because I wanted to, because I had to if I wanted to stay alive. At 19 years of age, I flown from the University of Notre Dame in my sophomore year back home to New Jersey Beth Israel Hospital to walk into the room to see my 26 year old sister die. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't even tell her I loved her. A culmination of all of those experiences really is a recipe for me to perhaps be incarcerated. Maybe dead. But I shouldn't be standing here But I didn't. I changed. I changed from a troubled child in a gang to a successful student athlete that graduated from the University of Notre Dame undergrad and graduate degree and a law degree, and eventually become the CEO of one of the most prominent nonprofits in the Midwest. 80% of American people never change.

There we go. And Darrell, Flash Gordon, welcome to the Get Attitude podcast.

It's a pleasure to be here. I'm excited about it. I'm excited.

That's good. I can't wait for you to share with our gappers is what we call them. And guys, we are in season three. This is our second interview with season three. And man, I'm telling you, we are loaded. And we're so fortunate to have Darrell with us. Darrell, I'd love to know, what is your definition of attitude?

You know, when you talk about attitude, it's a, it's a, it's a. It's a way of being right. It's, it's, it's a choice that we all get to make in our lives. And the type of attitude that I'm able to portray to you and to others is a selective process. I was walking in a. I was walking in to lunch today, and the person that asked, hey, you know, how are you doing? I'm saying, I am outstanding. And they said, well, how can I get some of that right? And that's just my attitude. That's just the way I live, and that's the choice I make and how I present myself every day. So I think it's a choice of presenting yourself in a way that is powerful.

I love it. We all have a choice. In gappers, the question is, what choice are you making right now? More importantly, what choice are you going to make tomorrow? Let me ask you this, Darrell. When you think about your attitude, coaches who affected your attitude most in your history, and if there's more than one, I'd love to hear more than one.

Yes. You know what? There's probably one in particular, and that's, that's Lou Holtz. You know, he is an individual that had the ability to, to motivate you in a way that could get you to perform at the highest level of your, of your career. Very few coaches have that ability, right, to get the 110%, 120% out of you. And were they able to do that for all of their players? That's a gift. And he just spends a significant amount of time of learning about each individual. And I can recall days when we're playing and My mom would yell at me to get me to motivate me to do things that were necessary. However, he realized that, and that's how he communicated with me. Now, Tim Brown, for instance, you know, they were very spiritual people and they didn't yell much in the house. So if he would have approached him in that type of attitude, that would have probably provided less performance that, that he did not get from, from Tim Brown.

And do you remember a day or a practice or a instance in your life where you and Coach Holtz were engaged and you went, something just pretty cool or something special just happened. And what was that?

You know, probably the most prevalent and the most clear for me was the day that I just finished my, my, my last year at the University of Notre Dame as a senior. And, you know, we, we were pretty good. We didn't do very well. And after that season, I had a fifth year. So traditionally, if you're a starter, you know, you're gonna be begged to come back, right? So he, as he traditionally does, he'll call a few of the fifth year players back and have a conversation with them. And he called me back. And that day, you know, I walk into his office and I sit in a chair, right? And there's this huge cherry oak desk, beautiful. And he's sitting in it and his feet are on the desk and he's smoking this pipe. And you can see, smell it, Glenn. It's a beautiful aroma. And behind him is this amoir death, right? It's AMA with pictures of him and former presidents and major celebrities. And I got the opportunity to say, God, this, this guy is pretty powerful. And, and I, I was waiting for him to make the ask, right, about coming back for the fifth year, right? And whether I was gonna go to pros or whether I was gonna do that. And. And he said, Flash Gordon. He had a little slur to. He flashed, we don't want your ass back here next year. And I said, excuse me? He said, we don't want your ass back here next year, Flash Gordon. I'm like, coach, I'm a starter. I mean, why wouldn't you want a starter? And he said, well, you know, I got the alumni on my ass. We didn't do very well this year. And this is my second year, I'm going in my third, and we gotta win. And the student body's on my ass as well, and we're gonna have to figure out how we're gonna get a win out of, out of this program, and I need to do it now. And I got some kids that I've promised that I would, I would play. So we're going to ask you not to come back. And I said, coach, that's not fair. And you know, 21 year old kid, I'm still learning how to approach and have, how to have the appropriate attitude. And I said, coach, that's not fair. You just can't throw my career away like that. And he said, well, I'm going away on a recruiting trip, but what I will do, I'm coming back in two weeks. I'll, I'll make my decision then. I said, okay, Glenn. So I walk away and I'm saying to myself, maybe I don't want to come back if he don't want me, I don't think I want him. And I was in my little space as I was walking my half a mile back to my dormitory and then epiphany came and I realized, I think I want to change. I want to change who I am to who I really want to become. And at that moment I, I went to my weight coach and I told him, coach, can you spend six days a week with me in the gym, just me and you? I'll give you two hours and I will promise you I will be there. He said, well, Darren, I've never gotten that type of request.

Wow.

I said, I'm committed. He said, I'm in. So I went my position coach. I said, hey, coach, Linebacker coach. And I said, I will watch film with you five days a week, Monday to Friday, for two hours. If you agree, commit yourself to me and I'll watch film of our last season and how I performed and what I need to do to improve. But I also look at the upcoming season with the Alabamas and the Clemsons and I want to know and make sure I'm prepared. He said, a request we've never gotten, but. But I'm in. Darrell Hump. I'm in. It's going to be a great season. So all of a sudden, Lou Holtz comes back two weeks later as he promised. And he called me in. Assistant says, hey, coach is in the office. Walk on in and introduce yourself. I said, hey, Coach, welcome. He said, hey, Flash going on, it's good to see you again. I said, hey, Coach, it's good to see you too. He said, unfortunately, I got some bad news. And before I allowed him to speak, I said, wait, coach, before you do, I want to share something with you. The last two weeks where you were gone, I talked to the head weight coach and I Told him that I am committed to, to being the fastest and strongest guy on this respective team. And we're going to meet once a week, six days during the week, and, and I'm giving myself two hours to make sure that I meet that expectation. In addition, I talked to my position coach and we're going to watch film, and I'm committed to that. And I said, for you, coach, when I'm in practice, I'm going to give you 120%. I will promise you that. And if I don't, you don't keep me on the team. And if I slack up any, we can make adjustments as appropriate. I said, secondly, me playing 120%, some people are going to get hurt just because I'm going to be going full speed, but they need to see what leadership is really about. And I think he reevaluated that process. And he said, flash, I'm going to give you one chance. I'm, I'm allow you to come back. And that decision of change, when most of us would probably be in a fetus position, right, Glenn? It says I'm out anyway. That opportunity actually allowed me to get a graduate degree from the University of Notre Dame. It allowed me to, to win a national championship. It also allowed me to go to the White House to spend time with President Reagan and Vice President Bush. So that one decision really changed my life for the rest of my life. And most of us, you wonder how we would have approached that situation when someone says they don't want you, right? So it's all about the change process.

And I always love to ask our audiences, you know, how many people believe that one decision can change your life? And I think you've just shown us that. And so what I want to know is, where do you think that came from? Because listening to the intro, it sounds like you've had your back against the wall since you've been nine years old. different times. What is it deep inside of you? It can't be learned. Maybe it is learned, but what is it inside of you? Or who maybe taught you how to buckle down, make the decision to change, to identify that there's something I got to do different. And gappers. If you're out there, listen, you may be in this spot right now. You may be sitting there going, somebody just said they didn't want me. It could be your husband, could be your boss, could be your kids, it could be your best friend. And now it's time for us to learn from Darrell how to manifest the desire and the action needed to take change. What, what do you think it was inside of you or did you learn it? Or how did that happen where you always respond and come out a winner?

That's a great question. And after extensive research, when I mean extensive research. And there's a young lady by the name of Marilyn Ferguson. She's a famous American futurist. She's a famous author, speaker, and a well renowned communicator. She wrote a book defined as a. It was named the Aquarius Conspiracy. And she spent a lot of time in that space of studying the mind and the human brain. And she studied for 21 years. And the result of that research was why does 80% of the American people never change? Right. Why do we sit in a space of mediocrity? And finally, when she finally came up with the final results of her research, spending time with the Harvard professors and all, it was determined that she died unfortunately at the young age of 70 in 2008. But we still had her documentation and stated briefly that it's not so much that we're so in love with the same old way of doing things that we don't change. It's not that she says, not even that we're afraid to change. She said, it's not that she said the reason why, the reason why most 80% of us never change is because we're afraid to go through the in between time of change. And that is where I think the power is, the in between time. When I say in between time, sure, it's, it's a, it's a simple process. I even go simplistic with it. When Linus, you know, remember Linus with the, with the blanket, right. He, when his mom used to take the blanket from him and wash it, he, he could not deal with not having his blanket. So when she puts it in the wash, he'll hug it. Right? And he puts in a dryer, he'll hug it. Right? And it's like, what is this guy doing? But, but at the end, he would grab the blanket and he'd be back into his space of comfort.

Yes.

And it's like, hey, why wouldn't you want your blanket washed?

Right?

Right. Because there's Covid, there's diseases. Why would you not want to be safe? And he would respond, it's not that I'm not interested in having a clean blanket. It is not that I'm not afraid of COVID or diseases or being safe or staying alive. It's not that I'm just not willing to Go through the in between time of change to get a clean blanket.

Right?

So therefore I'd rather die than make the transformation. So how many of us sit in our relationships, Right? Right. And our loved ones and we're saying I'm not changing, right? I'm, I, I'm thinking about it, but I don't, I'm not willing to do that for the next year or my financials. Right. Financial hardship and like, listen, I can, I could be to get in to stop purchasing on social media, but I decide not to. Or my health, you know, I could begin to work out or eat better, but I that in between time I'm not willing to commit myself. Right. Or even in our academic endeavors. And you know, why do we sit in the D's and F's of the world? And why are we sitting in the A's and B's? It's because we're not willing to put in the work for the in between time to get to the process of change.

Right? And so the in between time that I always like to talk about is in between the two Ds, in between the decision and in between your destiny. And so and so Gappers is you're listening. I want to know where you are. Are you before your decision? And if not, it's time to make that decision. Are you in the middle of it? You made a decision, but you haven't reached your destiny. And what this podcast is all about, it's helping you bridge that gap between decision and destiny when it's all said and done. And if you are at your destiny, I want you to hit me up on my email and let me know your story. Also, we always are looking for great and fantastic guests, just like Darrell. Darrell, this is awesome. Thank you so much for this. When we talk about academics, we spoke a little bit off cue, but hey, we got people who look at, I was a very average student, never prioritized it, but you are a parent that is unlike most who has a daughter at Harvard who is a straight A student. How the hell did you do that? Because we all want to know.

I wish, I wish I had the ultimate secret. But. But you know, really it's a culmination of her mother and myself in the environment we put people in. Right. I think at the beginning, you gotta make sure they have a foundation and a base, right? An academic foundation and base. So we gotta give them a chance, right? Just give them a chance to excel, make sure that they're learning at a high level. And that has to start at kindergarten, even at birth, and playing music for them and just helping them to understand the value of education, and we made that very prevalent. Although she was academically, athletically, really savvy, an all state basketball player, we pushed the academics more than we pushed the athletics, and. And I think it. It paid off for her.

Were you a good student? You were a pretty damn good student.

Well, initially I was not. Right, right. It was interesting. I initially was not a great student my freshman and sophomore year, but it was interesting enough that after my sophomore year, many colleges started coming to my high school. And really, I was performing horribly. I mean, Glenn, to be honest, I was performing horribly, and I was from New Jersey and really tough side of town, and. And I. I remember all these coaches coming. Clemson, Georgia, and I remember one day, me and my coach getting together, and he said. I said, hey, coach, every day we'd get together to talk about the coaches that came to visit. He said, well, today Florida State came, Georgia came, and Notre Dame. I said, well, I saw the head coach of Georgia, and I saw the head coach of Florida, but I didn't see Notre Dame. And he said, well, they were here, but they went to the guidance department. I said, the guidance. Why were they in the guidance department? He said, well, I believe they wanted to find out about your academic performance and prowess, and more importantly, they want to determine what type of character you had. And they came and then they left? Yeah, I said, they left. I said, did the guidance department show them my. Are they even allowed to show them my grades? Right. I was like. And did they say anything bad about me and my character? And I immediately got defensive.

Yes.

But at that moment in time, I realized I didn't want to live that kind of life where somebody's telling me where I'm going. I wanted to select where I'm going. So I wanted to prove to the University of Notre Dame that I am a Notre Dame man and I could actually make that happen. And I made an unbelievable transformation in my life.

So that's the concept of scarcity, right? Every. Everybody wanted you, but it was the cat that walked out the door.

There you go, right? Women, men understand scarcity. That's sometimes the key to the process, right?

Everybody wants what they can't have. So lesson of that, stories gappers is this. Who are you? Who is looking at you saying, they are scarce, that that person is scarce in my life? Are you that good? Are you that contagious? Are you that attractive? What are you doing with your life? What value are you providing to Your sphere to your relationships to say, damn, I need to hang out with that person more. And are you that person? Are you that person that's scarce that people want to hang out with? Let's just talk real quick about the book. Change does not happen in a flash. Tell me, hey, we got people. I just talked to somebody today. I've been trying to write a book. I can't get it done. I can't. You got it done. So let's talk. Talk me through to these authors. And I think eight out of 10 people say, yeah, I'd like to write a book, but I never did. What. What was your attitude when you said, it's time for me to write the book? And then tell us a little bit about, you know, what inspired you? What's the book about? What's the main couple points of the book? And, you know, give us open the COVID and let us know a little bit about it.

Well, you know, it was a book that a writer from a sports writer, both for the USA Today and others, said, you know, Darrell, we'd really love to hear your story. And at this time, I was working at Warrenland Youth and Family Treatment Center. So I was changing lives of young men and women. And it was a transformation from where I was and working on Wall street and. And having a law degree. And people thought I'd be in that environment, but people wanted to know about why. Why was I doing the stuff that I was doing. And for me, when you get a calling, it's something you have to respond to. And this book, I felt like for many years I wasn't ready for it. And then eventually, after about 15 years, I felt like I'm ready. I'm ready to write the book. I feel like I accomplished some things at Warren Lee Youth and Family Treatment center in my life that I felt like I could share with people. And then that change process, through the studies and the evaluations, that book really allowed me to talk more about the change process in my life, to see how all the connections really work. When you write a book, you really get to see the global movement of the commonalities in my life. For example, my mother was very spiritual, so I was the one out of the five brothers and sisters that would always go to church. But then I find myself going to Notre Dame, a Catholic institution, not because it was Catholic, but I just found myself going there, right? And I felt comfortable in that environment. Interesting enough, after a few short stints at other places, I find myself at Warner Youth and Family Treatment Center, a Lutheran Agency and being there 20 years. So, you know, you. After observing my span of careers, I realized that the spiritual movement was very important. But, but there was some change process from, you know, me in school and watching my transformation there that really changed my life academically. The, the change process at the University of Notre Dame, being a guy that wasn't going to graduate, and, and I share that story and, and then even the, the final story of Lou Holtz saying, I don't want you. Yes, Right. And all of those decisions were major changes that I thought I could share with others. And there's a key patented concept that I talk about on how to change, and it's called the five Flashpoints.

I love it because I was getting ready to ask you. So you read my mind. Let's go.

So the five Flash points, you know, if you really are interested in making this transformation right in your life, I think the F first is the acronym for flash. The F is for facing up to it. You first got to want to make the change.

Yep.

You know, I don't care, Glenn, if somebody says, hey, man, you could be the best podcast in the world until you are ready to be that, that process won't begin for you and that change won't occur. That's first, I think. You know, then there's the owl. Your learning capacity. Right. Do you even have the capacity to do it? Can you be the best podcast in the world? Right. And, or, or I want to run a 4, 2:40. Can I even do that? Right. So, so once we determine the capabilities of that, you go to a. Which is the action plan.

Right?

Now I put my action together on how I'm going to accomplish that, and that could be with a group of intellectual folks or a group of people that you think can help you, move you to that perspective area. I think the most important is yes, and that's the support system. You know, my son was saying, hey, Dad, I did my goals this year. And, and I said, well, you did your goals? Yeah, yeah, I, I got them down. And I said, well, you didn't tell me about them this year. I knew about them last year. But. And we put them up and we make. Well, I want to keep them to myself. I'm like, well, why? Well, I, I, it's a lot of pressure when I give that to you guys. And I said, well, a goal that is not shared is really a dream. Right. And when you start sharing that with your football coach, with your professors and teachers at your high school, and with mom and dad and Those that really care about you, they'll make sure we hold you accountable to that. And, and that's how that, that, that change process kind of occurs. Like losing weight. I'm losing weight, knows you're losing weight, and they keep feeding you. Right. And that final piece is the holding on to change. Oh, and I think many of us kind of reach the pinnacle of success and then we fall down that, that slippery slope again and we're back to square one. We're back to 30 pounds heavier or, you know, in another place at work that we didn't think we'd be in again. Right. Or we were starting and now we're not starting anymore on the football team or basketball or track, or we were getting straight A's and now we're getting Cs.

Right.

So how do you hold on to it? And that's, that's an important concept of the change process.

I love it. That's a Flash Gordon's Five Steps to Change and Gappers. The bottom line is, review this. Write those five things down. We all need change in our lives. The only thing that is constant is change.

That's right.

And. And this is a great, great learning principle for us. Talking about holding on. Your son's a highly touted quarterback here in IndianAP. If Georgia and Alabama offer MC scholarship and then Notre Dame comes in, what's going to happen there?

Oh, I appreciate that one, Glenn. You know, first of all, we would be blessed and honored to have Georgia, Alabama and Notre Dame all fighting for him. And, and at the end of the day, I always tell him, it's your choice. Right. You gotta be comfortable wherever you are. You want to be in a place that can prepare you for not just those four years you're there, but the next 40 years.

Yes.

And so long as he looks at that and understands the value of his future. Because, you know, we all want to do great things, but sometimes injury gets in the way or other things get in the way of our success, and we want to make sure we have a plan B prepared for that.

So clearly, Notre Dame would be the best place to make that happen.

That's Glenn talking, not me talking. Saban.

Exactly. So I want to learn about. Because service is part of what we are doing in the third season. I want to learn about Wornley Family and Youth and Family Treatment Center. First of all, I'd love to hear the story of how God put it in your life. And then the second thing I want to hear is the story that may have broke you or that left you crying where you said, this is. I gotta help these kids, so go ahead and let us know about that. And then anything about Wornly, you know, on the peripheral.

You know what? Again, I was pretty happy and pretty satisfied working at the NCAA at the time. And I was doing some great work there. Loved the athletic environment, doing national work, and it was really gratifying to me. And someone contacted me about this opportunity for a CEO, and I was only 35 at the time, and I went and I interviewed. And at the end, I think it was 30 or 40 folks that I interviewed for the job. And it came down to two people, myself and another gentleman. And at the end, the board selected this other gentleman. And. And I said, well, God, this is the way God wanted it to be. And I was happy with what I was doing anyway. And interesting enough, later, about six months later, I got a call from one of the board members, and they indicated, are you still interested? And I said, well, I thought you already hired someone. He said, well, we did, but it didn't work out.

We made a mistake.

We made a mistake. And, you know, and I thought, well, I'd be in the business for, you know, three years. And most people said, well, he won't be here long. He'll make his point and he'll move on. And, you know, I got there and I realized that the work that I was doing was so valuable to people, and I was not just making widgets, but I was changing lives for families and people. And God had a calling for me to do that. And I felt. And for 20 years, I've been. I thought I'd be there three, Glenn. And I was there 20. Wow. And I don't think there's a day where I ever felt like I went to work. Yeah, right. And I just. I've been committed to growing individuals and helping them change since then. And there is no. There is. There is a reason why my daughter is at Harvard. There's a reason why my son's number two in the state at quarterback. It's a. And there's a reason why those kids are leaving Warren Lee are going back to a better place, traditionally where they were and in a better position than they were. We are a residential treatment facility that provide therapeutic interventions for young men and women from the ages of 6 to 21 years of age that have been severely abused, neglected, or abandoned. So they reside on our campus. 100 acre campus is a beautiful campus. And we just put time therapeutically into their issues and challenges as well as their families. And again, Our goal is to reunite them back with their families, and that's the overall goal there. So we've been doing that for 140 years.

Wow.

And it's been. It's been a blessing to have that opportunity to do that.

And so who was Mr. Or Mrs. Wornley? And is there a story?

Well, interesting enough, Mr. Warnley was a gentleman from Richmond, Indiana, where our facility is located, that attended St. John's Church, and it was a Lutheran church. And he gave 50, I believe $50,000 to start it. Wow. And. Or 50 to 5,000, something like that, to start the age 140 years ago.

That's a big number.

That's a big number. So. So. And. And that was the day when they realized we needed to find a place where we could put orphan children. And it was a Wornley orphanage at the time when we officially started. So. So that all the Lutheran children, when dad and mom went to war or they died, they would stay at this orphanage. And as time progressed, it evolved into a residential facility, then to a treatment facility.

Wow.

And today we. We don't focus on Lutherans. We focus on all children of all. Of all ethnicities.

And do you know Anthony Trucks at all?

No, I don't.

Okay. So he's a speaker. He was a guest on the Gap.

Okay.

He played. I can't remember, Jason, where he played college football, but he ended up playing for Tampa Bay, and he was on the American Gladiators.

Okay.

And he was an orphan. And talk to us about the challenges of being an orphan, what orphanages look like. I'm gonna get you on his podcast. Because he's. He's a beast.

Yes, yes, yes.

Well, that is. I think that's wonderful. Is who. When you did those 20 years, and I'm. I guess I'm talking about the kids you helped.

Yes.

Who was the kid that moved you? Who was the kid that had the. An attitude that you said, oh, man, this. He's either going to make it or he's not gonna. Like, what kid shook you? What's that story?

Wow. Wow. You know, there are so many stories that I could share with you all. You know what? I think every kid that comes in to our facility is fighting and biting and scratching about not wanting to be there. But what's most gratifying is a year later, they are fighting, biting, or scratching not to leave. Right. And they feel like they are better and their families are better. And overall, the objective here is to understand dysfunctions in the home. And that's where it all Starts. And if you can fix that with our psychologists and our psychiatrists and our nurses and our therapists, they all spend a significant amount of time just helping that child and those families kind of learn how to be parents. And it's interesting how if you're in poverty, you don't get a rule book on how to do that. Right, Right. And if we have knowledge, I think we're all responsible for helping those less fortunate than ourselves. If we're not pulling others up, we're missing the, we're missing the point. So, you know, I guess to answer your question, I, I could tell you thousands of kids that we have helped and, and there's one that remind me of Barack Obama. And he was, he had the voice, he had the look, and, and he came back and even received one of our awards because he was just so profound and the work that we've done for him. He was so gracious about how we helped change his life to be better.

That's awesome. And so you obviously, you can go.

To what, wornley warnley.org w r er nle.org and shares a lot about our organization and what we do.

And what was your number?

Number 38.

All right, so if you're listening to this, go to wernley.org give 38 bucks and everybody's going to know why that happened. Gappers. Let's show these people some love when it is all said and done.

Amen. Amen.

So the way we always like to conclude this is something called knowledge through the decades. And we're going to walk through your life and ask you what the attitude lesson is of the time that you were 0, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50. I don't think you're 60 yet. Oh, no, no, not yet, but knocking on the door. So let's. And we can edit this, but I know you're so well spoken. It ain't even going to be a problem. When you think about childbirth or being born or your children being born, what is the attitude lesson of childbirth?

I think the attitude lesson at childbirth is you have to give that child a chance right at childbirth. You know, what he listens to, what he hears or she hears in the environment that they are in really will affect the rest of their lives. So we are very, very careful about the music we play, the environment he or she is in, the safety that is necessary. Because if a kid's not safe, you, you'll find that they're, they don't express themselves later in life the way they should. Right?

Yeah.

So, so that's as a child, you know those 1, 2, 3 ages, I.

Think that's important, giving them a chance. Shout out, today is my four year old grand twin grandbaby's birthday. So there you go.

Congratulation.

Saw something about. And you know this as well happened too, it's like boy, once they get after five, they start going to first grade. You lose them. You got them all the way up and then you lose them. I want you to go back to when you were 10 years old. You're in fifth grade. I want to know if you remember your teacher's name and I want to know what was the attitude lesson you learned at 10 years old?

Wow, great, great, great question. You know, I think the attitude lesson I learned at 10 years of age.

Doesn'T have to be positive.

And what grade was I in at that time?

You're in fifth grade.

I'm in fifth grade. Wow, fifth grade. You know what, again, I think your teachers are so impressionable. Right. Your mom and dad are impressionable in your first seven years of your life. And it's I do believe, and studies have proven this from 0 from, from 1 to 7 years of age, whatever happened in your life that was traumatic.

Yes.

Will follow you for the rest of your life.

Amen.

So, so if I got my lunch taken in kindergarten every day, my, my personality for the rest of my life will be afraid. And I can't figure out why I'm afraid of stuff. And that explains it. So that's why it's so important to keep safety for a kid 1 to 5. But when you get to that 10 now they're spending more time with teachers and coaches and the attitude that those folks have is the attitude that you're going to sort of adapt to. So I think if you're not around positive, influential educators and, and leaders and coaches and parents, you're going to miss the boat. Which is why I, I shared earlier, where do I place my kids? What educational systems do I place them? What coaches and what people do I have around them? Right. Because that's the major influence that will occur for the rest of their lives.

So do you remember being 10 and was there a story, was there a day of reckoning for you where you either got picked on, where you either got bullied, that changed things for you, that gave you an attitude in fifth grade?

You know, I think, you know, I had, I had a, in my, in my life. When I was 13, my mom and dad got a divorce. And at that point in time I think I was 11 at the time. I'm sorry? I was 11 at the time. And that detachment disorder, really.

Yes.

Affected me. Right. And at that point in time I realized that I wanted to, I wanted to make sure that the feelings that I had, no one else will ever have those type of feelings. Right. And it's interesting enough how although my dad was there, he was just working all the time and my mom was watching the five of us. And again, we, we weren't affluent at all. But, but what was most interesting about that is my, my, my mom and dad, although they didn't spend a lot of time. I spend an enormous amount of time with my kids and to the point where we get up every morning and we practice at 5 o', clock, 4:30, and after we're done, we head to school and, and they do their thing while most people are still sleeping. My daughter would do the same, which is how she became an all state basketball player and how he became, you know, first team all Marion county in football. It's, it's, it's a commitment to something. Right. But I think that experience, although I was sort of an all American, my, my mom and dad never was really there to watch that. So other families would say, that's my adopted kid. And.

Yes.

And, and reap the benefits of that, that process.

What number were you in out of five?

I was the, the second to last.

Number four.

Number four.

I was number five.

Were you number five?

I was the baby.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah, yeah, that's.

Well, I, you know, your word selection. Detachment, powerful word. Traumatic word. You're a smart guy. I'm sure you did some investigating. There are people possibly suffering from detachment issues.

Yes, absolutely.

And I think you solved yours by manifesting it in a different way later in life. What would you tell that person who is maybe suffering from a detachment issue that is listening right now? What. Certainly we got the five steps to change, but is there any, any heartfelt thing. Did you ever hear anything on how to deal with that or what would your advice be to that?

I think you got to be cognizant of it first. Right. It's just facing up, like facing up the chain. You first got to understand that, that, that exists in your subliminal.

Yes, right.

And, and I, I again, I, I'm a derail a little bit. You know, at probably the age of 15, my brother would get up. My second to oldest brother would get up and train in the gym in the basement of our, of our, of our apartment building, and he became a Golden Glove boxer.

Oh, My.

But I remember sleeping and watching him get up at 5 o' clock in the morning and running with his boots and, you know, and he was a junior welterweight gold medalist and went on to box and the pros with Aguayo and Prior. So it was very accomplished. And had the name Flash Gordon.

Yes.

And watching that, right. You talk about detachment. I didn't have dad to really look at, but I was looking at him.

Cool.

And I sometimes say, find the person that can help gap that detachment issue for you. And again, it may be a competitive process, which it was for me. I felt like, listen, I'm going to be better than him, right? And that was my goal. And I was going to take the name and do something with it. And then my youngest brother, who's the fifth one, he said, I wanted to be better than Daryl. And, you know, he went on this academic track and went on the Brown and became captain of the football team and was, you know, so it's, I think, you know, we can look at others and find ways in which we can really inspire ourselves to really be great in our lives.

That's pretty powerful. So I think that's good. Let's go to 20. 20. Had to be fun for you. 20. You are a sophomore at the University of Notre Dame. Ballin out. What is the attitude lesson you learned at 20?

Wow. Wow, that's a great, great point. I can remember like it was yesterday, okay? I was on the field and Lou Holtz walks over to me and he says, Flash. I said, yeah, coach? He said, you're going to have to get home immediately. And I said, immediately? He said, yes. I said, well, Coach, am I not performing? He said, no, no, it has nothing to do with your performance. I just need you to get home immediately because there's been an emergency. So I said, okay. I immediately grabbed my stuff. I caught the first plane back to New Jersey, landed, got to Beth Israel Hospital. I walked in and I saw my mom and dad sitting there holding hands, crying, right? And I'm 20 at the time. And I'm looking, I'm like, what's wrong with that picture? Because they were divorced and they were, you know, at that point, they lived their separate lives. And I looked at mom and dad and they. They didn't even hug me. They just pointed to the room. And I remember walking into that room and there was my sister on a breathing apparatus dying at 26 years of age. And I didn't even get the opportunity to say, I love you. Right? And that for me was from unknown Causes for that for me was a point in my life. Well, I never was going to live my life without sharing my emotion, my love, my career for other people. Right. And sometimes we, we get criticized for. Oh man, you, you know, you're saying you care. Like I tell my kids every day I love them. I tell my friends I love them. I, I'm very open to my sensitive side because we don't have a whole life of, of, of opportunity to tell people how we really, what we really think of them or how we feel about them. And I think it's important that we. The attitude, I've learned was to be more humble and caring and loving to others as opposed to being selfish and self centered.

Yeah. I wonder if that experience and that attitude lesson didn't take you to Wornley.

Perhaps. Right. Perhaps. That's great thought there, Glenn.

Let's go to 30 years old.

30 now.

Did you play pro ball?

I, I played in the all Star game with Deion Sanders and Troy Aikman. I hyperextended my leg at the Hula bowl, so never got to go to the Giants and would have been behind Lawrence Taylor, which I would have taken that job. Yeah. For those who can't see me, you.

Would have, you would have destroyed him one on one. Let's go. We're going an individual. I want Lawrence.

But you know, I think that 30, at 30, you know, you're really trying to find yourself. Right. And I remember at 30 I was trying to determine where I wanted to point my career. And right around that 30 time, I was leaving an athletic firm. It was called img. They're the largest sports firm in the world. Right. And they would represent different athletes. And I was in the football division, so we had Joe Montana and, and all these great athletes that we represented coming out of law school. So I, I really enjoyed that. But, but I also felt during my 30s, I still was trying to find myself what, what is my purpose in life? And I really think I, I challenge everyone to, to find your purpose. Once you find your purpose, Glenn, I think your life moves progressively forward in a way that God had it set for you. Yes, but we dip and dab in so many different things without our purpose at hand. And as a result of that, we just work and do things and we leave this life never making a profound effect on it. Right. So that the purpose for me was at 30 was when I finally got to Worley, that I realized that was my purpose and I wrote it out. Is my purpose in life is to help those Reach their full potential. That is what I live for.

You know, when you think about finding yourself and this always comes up, and I love to bring it up because I believe that, you know, we are. Our first attitude coaches are mom and dad, but I always love to dig a little deeper. And I'm wondering if you knew all four of your grandparents, if one had a profound impact on you and if so, which one was it and what was their impact? What was their attitude of that generation.

Before your folks, you know, Great, great question. Unfortunately, I didn't know my grandparents at all. My dad, they, most of them, they all passed away by the time I, I got around. But my, really, the model that I follow was my dad.

Cool.

And my dad was really, really unique. He graduated from eighth grade and him and my mom left South Carolina to move up to, to New Jersey to have a better life. Right. And, and he didn't want to do what all of his. He had nine brothers and sisters and they all kind of worked in the. Work the fields and we had some land and they, they did that in the South Carolina area. But, but he kind of got there and he started working at a laundromat. He said he was making a quarter an hour and, and he would clean white shirts to get the stains out of white shirts. And he just wanted more for himself. And, and he said, I started working at a gas station. And then he realized he wanted to buy the gas station and he bought a Texaco station and then went on to buy an auto repair shop and some buses. And you know, at 8 years old, he could barely read.

Wow.

But he was an unbelievable leader. And I remember asking him, you know, like, why are you saving this money? Right. Because he would save and put it places in the house. He said, well, I don't have opportunity to get loans.

Right.

And as a result of that, I need to be prepared for the days when times get rough. And, and I just, I remember that and I remember how he treated people. Yeah, right. He treated them regardless of their ethnicity, their gender, their, their, their spiritual perspective. He treated them with respect. Yeah. And, and he garnered the respect. Respect. And, and being a, you know, a mechanic, I mean, vice presidents of banks would come up to him and, and show him praise. And I'm like, wow, this is, it's, it was just, it was amazing to see him navigate, you know, that kind of lifestyle with only an eighth grade education. Yeah.

And they would, yeah, they'd give him plenty of praise, but they wouldn't give him a loan.

Yeah. Thank you Amen.

And so. And so to think about what he did at that time. Right. And our podcast is dedicated to diversity and inclusion, and we're not afraid to ask the tough questions. So let's just divert for a couple minutes. You know, what is your state of the union on race, if you will. And I always love to ask this question, what do white people need to do to help black people?

Wow, great, great question. You know, I spend a lot of time in diversity, equity, inclusion. I even train on it and do series of, you know, three to five weeks of diversity training to transform organizations. So this is something that's really close to me.

Good.

And I believe in that process. So if you're asking, you know, what can people do, you know, I really think from a diversity perspective is diversity. And accepting diversity is really a business decision. And when I say that, I'm saying if you're not implementing diversity within your own workforce, if you don't understand the value of it. There's a Fortune 500 company that called me when I was in law school and they said, hey, Darrell, we needed a CEO, we needed a law. An African American lawyer to be on our board. But they didn't have one at the the time. And most of the people on that board were Caucasian and all of them were Caucasian males. So surprise. So back at that time, I couldn't do it at the time. And I don't know if it was middle of law school or whatever it was, but I did give them a good friend of mine that was practicing attorney, an African American, and he went on to the board and it was interesting, when he got on the board, they were in the middle of making a decision about squeeze bottle soap and how they were going to be on the front lines of this great product of squeeze bottle soap that no one ever knew about. Right. And it was going to be the transformational item that would put soap out of business. Right. And they're like, listen, we can't wait to approve this. So he's sitting there and they get up and they say, hey, we motion. The board chair says, we motion for approval of the. The new squeeze bottle soap. And we will also discard the soap production. And in somebody's first and somebody's second in and any questions on them on emotion. And he stood up and he said, I know this is my first day and I feel uncomfortable about making this statement, but. But I am on the board and you probably want some of my input. But in our culture, we use soap and rags. And as a result of That I don't believe that we are going to embrace or adopt the squeeze bottle process as a result of that, we're going to just go somewhere else. So the board chair was astute enough to go to the CFO and says, marsh, yes, well, tell me what percentage of our sales are two minorities? She said, actually, we're located about 50%.

Wow.

And she said, well, what is our total gross revenue last year? And she said, it's close to a half a billion dollars.

Yeah.

And that's all they had to say. Right. So at that time, if you can do your math, they were about to vote $250 million out the door and they all felt bad. He said, so he came back, he debriefed with me and I shared this in my diversity trainings. But he came back and he debriefed with me about this process and I said, well, what happened at the next board meeting? I gave him some thoughts as to how I would approach it. And he went back in. He says, darrell, when I got back the next board meeting, which was the next quarter, we had two additional African Americans, we had three females, and we had a Hispanic and an Indian on, on the board because they realized there was value. Yeah, right. That's so good. So I, I say that just to say sometimes we don't know what we don't know. Right, right. And, and where the value becomes and where it is. So, you know, I think integration and interaction and is a positive for all people. And I think we got to find a way to continue to allow all people to grow equally and, and with equity. I do have a, a problem with the, with our judicial system and the number of African American males that are residing in the judicial system.

Yes.

And you know, at 60 something percent and being only 80% of the population is concerning. Right. And I think it requires some significant attention to be placed there and just to find out what, what, what that issue is and how do we begin to address it.

I love it. Thank you for diverting. And for those of you listening, if you haven't heard the 846 interview stories of black America, please go back to our podcast. If you want raw and real feedback on what it's like to be a minority, to experience racism firsthand, and to hear the real stories of black America, that's something you're going to want to listen to. I appreciate you doing that with me just now, but now we got to move on to 40 years old.

40 years old. Wow.

Do you remember, do you remember where.

You were at 40, you know. Yes, I do. I remember where I was in 40 and, you know, at 40 years of age, I was at Warrenland Youth and Family Treatments. And I just finished five years and I was still feeling my way around that organization. And to not have been in that industry, it took me a while to guard on my feet. And one thing I remember that I think them today is that board always stuck with me and understanding that I needed to learn I was going to fall. You know, that whole experience was significant for me to continue to learn how to be successful as a CEO. But I also, even at an earlier age, I got an opportunity to spend time with one of our most prominent donors at Notre Dame, who, who gave millions, hundreds of millions of dollars to Notre Dame. And I, I got to work beside him and alongside him, and I knew him for many years, but I got to watch how he operated, right? And it. It. So to watch my dad and to then watch this gentleman and to be in corporate jets and moving around and making decisions that were profound, too, it just, it really molded me to be a better leader. And I was able to, at 40, begin to utilize some of those skill sets. After all of the education with the undergrad and graduate in law, I was able to begin to implement and execute those things.

So what everybody wants to know somebody that gives a hundred hundreds of millions of dollars to Notre Dame. And trust me, people, there's a few of them. To sum up that gentleman's attitude, like, what was it about his attitude, the way he dedicated himself to the way he thinks, his presence, whatever it was, what was the attitude lesson from that gentleman?

You know what? One thing I noticed about him, my dad had a. I never knew this, but when I went to work for him right out of college, my dad had a conversation with him. And I wasn't talking to my dad at the time, right? Because we get to be in our little space and we think we know everything because we're educated people. And he talked to him and he said, listen, you're taking my son. I want him to have the same experience that any other kid would have. And. But at your level, I want him to see the things that you do and how you do it. And I want him to fly in the places that you fly, and I want him to be broker in the deals that you're brokering. I know that's asking a lot, but if he can and you can't, then you send him back to me. I never knew he had that conversation. And as a result, he really Mentored me to really become a very successful leader. So, you know, if there's any advice I could give people is find a mentor. Right. I always wanted to be a CEO, and, and I looked at my dad and him, and, and those were people that I could model my life after. And he was, he was, he had morals, he had ethics, and he cared about the things he cared about. Right. If, if Notre Dame was something he cared about, he was all in. Right. And he would make sure that they would be successful. And the organization that he ran, he was all in. And his family and all of those were great examples of being just an unbelievable person.

Attitude booster number five. Have a mentor and copy them. That's in season one. If you want to check out that month's worth of interviews. All right. Then the big five. Zero rolls around, and we're going, damn, I'm 50. What? Tell me where you were at 50 and tell me what the attitude lesson of turning 50 was for you.

Yeah. Wow. So it's not too far. You know, I, I think the attitude lesson at that point in my life is, you know, you know, I, I think playing at a prominent institution like Notre Dame and spending time in All Star games and the pros, you get selfish and you learn that it's all about you, and it takes a while to get that out of a person, if, in fact, if that's even possible. Right. And I'm vulnerable at sharing that. I was selfish when I was younger, and as I've grown older, I realized the value of being transparent in everything I do and being vulnerable to people about my weaknesses and my shortfalls. We all want to talk about how great we are and how we do nothing wrong, but, But I'm quick to tell people, you know, this is my weak spot. Right. And I, I don't do that really well, but I can, I can knock that out of the park. But I, I. And I'm quick to give, Give compliments to people and things that I see my staff doing really well. I'm the first to, to, to praise them for their great work. And I don't think that that's who I was early in my career. And so even in people that you spend time with, I would advise that, you know, the loved ones of your life, you, you, you have to tell them that you care. Right. And that you don't just tell them you do it.

Yeah.

Right. And when you start that kind of action, that attracts more.

So. Brene Brown, TedX. Look that up. I'm trying to get Bernee gappers on the power of vulnerability.

Amen.

The hidden strength.

There you go. That is the hidden strength for sure.

Let's have just a little bit of fun, then I'm gonna let you go. All right? You knew Dion, you played with Dion. Whatever. I'm just curious. Let's go. Famous people. One or two who's attitude was exceptional, what did they teach you? Whether it was Tim Brown or whether it was Dion or whether it was whoever, just something real positive that maybe one of the more famous people that you got to interact with that you learned something from that maybe people would never realize the lessons you'd learned.

Yes. You know what? God, there's so many people that have crossed my path. And at Wornley, we bring a lot of those people in to spend time with our kids. And so we've had the likes of, you know, Lou Holtz, Joe Theisman, Joe Montana, you know, Tim Brown, Jerome Bettis, Mike Golick, and on and on. And the one thing I think that I've learned from one of our celebrities, you know, you know, Tim Brown has an unbelievable, unbelievable position of humility, right? And he's just so humble and he's so spiritually centered, not on himself, but others, right? And at that level where everybody's grabbing at you, being a Heisman Trophy winner and playing for the Raiders and, you know, and being a national icon, it's hard to do. But even today, he is such a humble guy, and, you know, like, he gets requests all day, all night, right? But he finds a way to continue to help you and help your mission, whatever that is that you're doing or other people are doing to succeed. And for me, I want to have that same humility and that same humbleness and the same vulnerability to help people achieve their ultimate success, right? And when I leave this earth, I want to be the guy that people says, wow, Darrell changed my life. Flash changed my life for the rest of my life. Which is the reason behind the book, which is the reason behind My Children, which is. Is the reason behind Warren Lee, which is the reason, by the whole transformation of others other than myself. So, you know, that's what I've garnered from many of those people that I've really respected, is, can you still remain humble while also being pretty prominent in the world?

What a great message from the one and only Darrell. Flash Gordon. One last quick question. Your Golden Gloves boxer box brother, did he ever use you as a punching bag?

He was five, eight. I was six, three. No, you could. You could figure that one out, but he had an unbelievable left hook. I had unbelievable right hook. So, you know, we had our days. You know, it is what it is.

Did you ever say, don't let me get a hold of you?

He was quick too, right? It was a reason why they called him Flash. So, so, yeah, we, we, we ran ever had interactions in that. That way. But, but he was, he was a guy that was committed to, to success.

What was your father's name?

Roosevelt Gordon.

All right, Roosevelt, this is to you, my friend. Well, listen, you impacted our lives. You were humble, you were vulnerable. The people that have listened to this podcast, I do believe, are going to grow in spirit. They're going to help bridge the gap. I hope they're going to give $38 to warnley.com and we just can't thank you enough for being here and sharing your spirit with us. One thing we always like to do is let you give the final motivational speech of the podcast. And we just want you to give a message of hope. I mean, my God, there's a lot going on in this world. There's people that need a good, positive message from you. I hope you can channel the people that are on the other end of this microphone listening to you. I know that you're out there saying, flash, give me just one more something. There are people that come to the gap to improve their health, to improve their spirit, to improve their motivation, to find a new way to identify like you talked about in the F, which is, face it up front, what's your message of hope for the people that are listening? Then we're going to let you go.

Thank you, Glenn. First, I want to thank you and all of your staff for just allowing me to come today. Right? So this is very humbling and it's just a great opportunity to share with others the work that we do. You know, if there's a sense of motivation and hope, that is that, you know, God put us on this earth to help others, right? And to change and to continue to change so that we can provide profound impact on other people. My responsibility, everybody's responsibility is different. As Glenn's responsibility may be his treasures and his money to help transform others that are less fortunate than yourselves. Others may be their time, right? Just giving your time because that's all you have. And others may be, you know, your talents, right? You may be good leader or you may be a great supporter for children, but find out what that is and move it in the way that is motivational for you. I think there are so many people in the 80 percentile that are doing mediocrity right now in their relationships, in their financial lives, in their academic lives, in their job, in their spiritual life, and more importantly, in their health and wellness. I will promise 80% of us lie in that space. And just like Marilyn Ferguson said, if you're willing to go through the in between time of change, if you really committed to that, like I had to be committed for a year of getting through and sharing with Holtz that I would excel and win a national, it's a, it's a commitment of in between time. You can have an unbelievable relationship with your spouse. You can, you can have financial wealth all day long. You can. Your job could be one that is no longer a job, but a career. I think your, your, your spiritual life could be one that you feel like you're talking to God every day or whatever that is that you praise. Right? And more importantly, that you are in with and in one with your health, in your wellness. Right. I think it's all available to you. It's up to you whether you tap into it and you're willing to go through the in between time. And if I could be of any help or the book can be of any help, I ask that they go to DarrellFlashGordon.com and, and, and it's all right there.

All right, guys, I'm telling you, check out Darrell. If you are a corporate leader, a CEO, if you're an event planner, if you're on a. Trust me, you want this guy on your stage. You want. You want this guy to feed your audience, because I know he's good. I've seen him. I can't wait to see him in person. Daryl, it was real, man. I got one last thing to tell you. I love you, man.

Love you, too, brother.

Love you too, brother. Thank you, guys. This is Glenn Bill with Daryl Flash Gordon. I know we just rocked your world. Thank him. Look him up. Worley.org give us 38 bucks. I can't wait to see them all going. What's all these $38 donations coming in? If you want to give 380 or 3800, go ahead. This is Glenn Bill from the other side of the bridge. We bridge the gap. God bless you all, and we will see you on the next Get Attitude podcast.