Hal Elrod On The Miracle Morning & The 5-Minute-Rule

Foreign. Today on Rocky Goddess Life podcast, I'm joined by an incredibly inspiring human, Hal Elrod. He's the author of the international bestseller the Miracle Morning, a book that's transformed the lives of millions of people around the world. Hal's life read reads like a modern day hero's journey. He has was pronounced clinically dead after a near fatal car car accident. Told he might never walk again, faced financial collapse and later battled cancer. Yet through it all he's continued to rise, serve and help others do the same. His mission is to elevate to the consciousness of humanity one person at a time. Welcome Hal.

Oh Alexander, thank you so much for having me.

Yeah, it's so great to connect. You know we had you at one of our heroic events where you talked about your story and a lot of like battling the cancer and everybody was just like oh my gosh, like everything. Everybody walked away from that talk, that conversation and that, that, that talk with you of I don't have anything to complain about. There's nothing to complain about. Life is amazing and I'm super grateful to be alive.

Yeah, that's what I walked away from those experiences thinking and saying as well.

Yeah, okay, so let's talk about that. I know you've told us many times but like the quick story of how that, I mean you've had some like crazy experiences on that of like and how has that led to be who you are right now in your life.

Yeah, I'll actually go back a little bit further. When I was 8 years old and I didn't realize this until therapy a few years ago, like going back through my life and I was like, oh, this is a part of my journey that like I never connected the dots. And it was on a Saturday morning, I woke up to my mother screaming across the hallway from her bedroom saying God, don't take my baby, don't take my baby. And I ran across the hall and she was performing CPR on my 18 month old baby sister. And my sister Anne Marie died that morning. And within six months after of course my parents just being, you know, devastated and at 8 years old, me not really understanding death fully and how to process it. But for my mom, of course she was probably 30ish at the time. And what ended up happening was within six months my mom started a support group for parents who had lost their young children. And I didn't connect the dots until you fast forward 12 years later, I was head on by a drunk driver and found dead at the scene. As you mentioned, I broke 11 bones. I came out of a coma six days later after flatlining three times, one of which my heart stopped for six minutes, and I was told I would never walk again. And that subconscious seed that was planted by my parents, which is like, you take your pain and you turn it into purpose. You find purpose in it. And I told my dad in the hospital bed, I'm like, dad, I've always wanted to be, like, a motivational speaker, professional speaker, but I never had much to talk about. Maybe that's why this is happening. I'm gonna get through this car accident. I'm gonna learn how to walk again. I don't care what the doctors say. And I am going to go share this message with other people. And, you know, three weeks after I was found dead and broke 11 bones, the doctors came in with routine X rays, and they're like, we know we told you you'd never walk again, but you can walk today if you want. They couldn't explain it. And, you know, other than a miracle or, you know, power of positive thinking, call it what you want, but. And so that really set my path of, like, oh, wow, I'm going to share this story. And then I became a speaker, and I started writing books. And then in 2008, when the financial crash happened, as you mentioned, that was the hardest time in my life. Like, oh, my God, I just bought a house. Now I'm losing it. The banks foreclosing on it. I'm drowning in debt. I don't know how to make money. I can't figure this out. And I created this morning routine to, like, kind of turn things around. And within two months of doing the morning routine, it wasn't a book idea, didn't have a catchy name. It was my morning routine of personal development. I doubled my income in those two months, and I attributed it to the morning routine. I told my wife, Ursula, I said, sweetheart, we've doubled our income since I started doing that morning ritual. This is a miracle. She goes, it's your miracle morning. And I go, I like it. Miracle boarding, you know? But then I just started teaching to my coaching clients, and one after another, like, oh, my God, Hal, I'm not a morning person, but I tried your, you know, your. What you do, and it works. I'm having amazing results, and I'm doing better in my sales career, and I feel better. And then the last part of the story, I mean, there's lots of parts, right? But fast forward a decade or so, and at 37 years old, I was diagnosed with a Rare aggressive form of cancer. I was given a 30% chance of surviving. My heart was failing, my lungs were failing, my kidneys were failing. And I was told that I had one to two weeks to live if I didn't start chemotherapy. But I'm a natural holistic. I'm like, I don't want to poison myself with chemo. But upon. In further investigation, the best holistic doctors in America were like, that's all you can do. How there's no natural, anything to stop this cancer from shutting your organs down in the next two weeks, you have to do chemo and support your body with all the holistic stuff. And that's what I did. And I'm grateful to say that I, you know, I beat the 30% survival rate. And I'm here to share these stories and the methods and the perspectives and the practices that I've learned as a result.

So amazing, so incredible. So I want to go into, like, those moments, right? Because those are like dark Night of the Souls, like the classic hero's journey of like, I'm not going to be able to walk, I have no money, I might die.

Yeah, yeah.

You're like hitting all sorts of kind of like our deepest fears, right. Of like, what take us to those moments. And like, how have you. I know you're doing your savers, and maybe it's the savers that saved you. Yeah, but what is that internal dialogue for you and has it been different each time? Have you built on each one of

those, like, I love that question. And I would say the Miracle Morning Savers, they saved the financial crisis. That's why I called it the Miracle Morning. I applied them when I had cancer. And for sure, I believe they saved my life during cancer. But if you. But let's rewind because this is a really important part of it, which is when I had the car accident, I was 20 years old. Miracle Morning was, you know, nine years away from being a thing. But I had this thing called the five minute Rule that, that, that saved me, if you will. And to this day, it's still one of the most profound tools in my, in my toolkit. In fact, I teach this in every speech that I give around the world. Every Miracle Morning keynote. I still. The first 20 minutes, I'm teaching the five minute rule. And I learned it in my Cutco sales training. On the second day of training, my mentor Jesse said, you're going to face adversity in sales. That's usually more so than everyday life. Like, occasionally the average person will face rejection you're going to get rejected like seven times a day on the phone, on sales, appointments. Right, right. And, and he goes, the average person fails occasionally. You're going to fail like day after day, week. You're not going to hit your goal for the day, for the week, for the month, you know, And I, at 20 years old, I'm going, oh, man, I don't know if I'm. I'm prepared, you know, mentally and emotionally prepared for this line of work. And he said, you need a strategy to quickly move through adversity so you can put the things you can't change behind you and just keep moving forward. And so he taught us the five minute rule. And it says it's okay to be negative when things go wrong. Feel sorry for yourself, get upset, get mad, get whatever, but not for more than five minutes. He said, there's no value in dwelling on something and resisting reality of something you cannot change. So he taught us literally the five minute rule says when, when, when you know something bad happens, you set your timer for five minutes. And this could be you hit traffic and you're running late, you're like, no, come on. Or you get in a car accident, you're told you're never going to walk again, or you're diagnosed with cancer or whatever. And we're taught, set the timer for five minutes. And for five minutes, don't suppress your emotion. Do the opposite, fully express experience, complain, cry. Like, this sucks. This isn't fair. I don't deserve this. Right? Like, but he said, so get it out fully. Allow that energy, which emotions are literal energy in our body. Get it out. And when the timer goes off after five minutes, you say three very liberating words, very enlightened words. Can't change it. It's a simple acknowledgment that, okay, I can't change what happened five minutes ago. So now I got a choice. How am I going to respond? Am I going to continue to dwell on it, wish it didn't happen? Resist reality, generate emotional turmoil. And then, you know, once you're aware of it, you're like, well, that probably doesn't serve me well. What's option number two? Accept my reality exactly as it is, no matter how difficult, no matter how painful, because it's the only logical, intelligent choice that we have to move forward and enjoy life. So you go, okay, I can't change what happened. I accept. It doesn't mean you're happy about it, by the way, but it means you're at peace with it, which Is far more everlasting and right. Like, it's the underlying state of consciousness of, like, I accept reality all the time as it is. It's so I'm at peace. And now it's, what can I change? What can I do? When I was in sales and I learned this, it was like I had a. I just, you know, customer canceled their biggest order ever. This sucks. What am I going to do? Okay, five minute timer. I'm upset. I can't believe it. Okay, timer goes off. Can't change it. All I can do is get on the phone and schedule new appointments. That's literally the only thing I can do to improve my situation here. Great. That's what I'm gonna do. Right? So the five minute rule, I applied it when I came out of the coma. And to be fair, Alexandra, it took me five days. Like, it was a lot to process to be fair. Like, okay, I'm never going to walk again. Like, what does that look like for my wedding, for my career, for the fact that I love playing basket. Like, there was a lot to think through. But five days isn't bad to be completely. I mean, literally within five days, I was so at peace with it that the doctors thought I was in denial. They called my parents in and they're like, we're concerned with how he's always smiling and laughing and telling us jokes and. And acting like everything's fine. And that's not normal for a 20 year old who's been body broken, told they're never going to walk again. Find out how he's really feeling. And my dad comes in and he's really somber and he's really concerned. He's like, how. Hey, how the doctors are concerned. They think you're in denial, that you need to really admit your fear and anger and whatever you're feeling that you're just pretending isn't happening. He said, how are you really feeling? And I go, dad, I'm not in denial. I live by the five minute rule. This happened two weeks ago. I can't change that I was in a car accident. I can't change that I broke 11 bones. And even though I have faith that I will walk again, I am. That's where my energy is going to go in this possibility. I also know maybe I won't. I might be in a wheelchair the rest of my life. And are those. Whatever I can't change, I choose to accept and be at peace with it. So you take that five minute rule and it's really just taking like you Know spiritual philosophy, Eckhart Tolle, Power of now, Buddhist.

Right.

And it's making it in this like, super tangible, actionable, practical approach philosophy that you applied your life. And then I applied it to my cancer and my finance. You know, I apply it ever. I apply it to traffic, you know, oh, I'm late, can't change it, might as well move on.

Amazing. I love that. So incredible. So then you would have. You made that switch and then did you ever have moments? Because we have moments, we're like, okay, I've made the switch. But then you're like, than feeling sorry for myself. And then you just keep coming back. Like, keep coming back to it again and again.

Yeah, yeah. I think that what it is. You know, when I first learned the five minute rule, and some people watching or listening might be thinking the same thing, I'm like, five minutes, that's not enough time to get over something. Like, I'm still going to be upset when my timer goes off. And the first time I did it, this lady didn't show up for an appointment. I drove really far. I was like, you know, it really messed up my schedule. She didn't show up. And she left like a rude note on the door. And. And I was. I was pissed. And I got in the car, I set the time for five minutes, and I was like, oh, grumbling. And timer goes off. And I'm like, I'm still mad. And I hit the snooze button. Did it again. Did it again. But after three times. Here's what was crazy. So it took 15 minutes the first time, but after the third time, the energy had dissipated and I was like, almost begrudgingly, like, can't change it. Interesting. I can't change it. I don't really feel that upset as I did 15 minutes ago. Weird. And then within a couple weeks of using the 5 minute timer every single day, I remember the moment this woman canceled a $2,800 order on a Sunday night, which I had hit my goal because of the order. Biggest order I ever had. Now I have not hit my goal, which I had celebrated all evening. And she called and canceled her order. And I was so. God, no, no, no, please. I, like, begged her to keep it. She's like, sorry. And I said the timer for five minutes. And I go, oh, I'm so mad. What am I going to do? I mean, all I can do. Because I had practice at this point, I knew that all I can do is accept what I can't change and get on the phone. Tomorrow morning and make new calls. And it took me all of 28 seconds to reach that conclusion. I picked up my phone and I had 4 minutes and 32 seconds left. And I go, what's the point of wasting the next four and a half minutes of my life being upset over something I can't change? Like, think about how crazy it is two weeks of because I believe it elevated my consciousness, now I'm aware that I'm in control of my emotional state, that every negative emotion, every painful emotion we experience, and this is important, if you're watching or listening, really tune in. Every painful emotion we've ever experienced is self created. It is self created by our resistance to our reality. It's not the thing that happened to us or didn't happen for us because that same thing could happen to somebody else. We might be distraught because we're wishing it didn't happen. And they're like, I'm at peace with it. I can't change it. You're like, well, no, don't you wish it didn't happen? Aren't you mad? Or they're like, that seems like a waste of my life. You're like, what? So now that you're aware of this and you practice the five minute rule, you're all of a sudden like, oh, I don't even need five minutes. Give me like five seconds and I'm going to move on. And so that's how it evolved. And so to your point, I saw moments where, like, I catch myself dwelling on something I can't change. I'm like, what am I doing? Can't change it. But I don't even set the timer anymore. I just get to can't change it as fast as I can.

And it's the story that we tell ourselves. Right. Like, it's the story. You know, I love Byron Katie. You have Eckhart Tolle, but it's like the Byron Katie of like, you're creating your suffering.

Yeah.

The story that you're telling, like, it's a story that we tell ourselves totally what happened? I do that all the time. I love that, that there's. If somebody else is looking at my life, there's plenty of people who would come and be like, that's not a big deal.

Yeah.

I'm like, channel them.

Yeah, there you. I love that perspective.

Feels like it's a big deal. Okay. And I also really love the distinction of your feeling it. Right. So you're feeling like it. You're like, you're feeling it. You're frustrated you're allowing those emotions. Because a lot of times you don't allow those emotions.

We suppress.

Yeah, right. And we hold on. We hold on. We hold on that you're, like, getting it out.

Yeah.

It made me think of. When I do that, if I get upset with my kids, the best thing is for me to, like, literally get it out in a fun kind of way. But I'm like, oh, I'm so mad. But it's, like, releasing it, and then everyone starts laughing.

Yeah.

But I really am feeling that energy of, like, interesting.

I love it. Yeah, I love it. But you're, like, kind of. You're, like, kind of putting a little bit of makeup on it, like, for the. For the kids. You're like, hey, it's like, yeah, I'm upset, but I'm not going to let it affect you, which is. Right. That's the right thing to do. Like, I'm not going to let my inner turmoil become your turmoil, because that does not serve either of us right.

Those are my. Most of my enlightened moments. But I do have moments where.

Of course, of course, of course.

And let's go into the savers. For those of the people that don't know what are the savers, and has that changed? Do you still do the savers the same way? Do you do it every day? Like, give us the lowdown on the savers? 20, 25.

Yeah. So 2008, when I came up with this concept that I needed a morning routine, I googled what do the world's most successful people do for their personal development? Because let me actually back up an hour before that moment, which is I heard a quote from Jim Rohn, and this quote is the foundation of the miracle morning. Jim Rohn said, your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person that you become. And when I heard that, my brain tends to quantify things. So I went, okay, so the first part of that quote is, your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development. So then I had to ask myself, okay, well, what level of success do I want in each area of my life on a scale of 1 to 10, I want level 10. I want level 10 happiness and level. I want to be as happy and healthy and financially secure and harmonious and in love as I can be. Right. That's. That's human nature. I've never met anyone that's like, I don't want to be too happy. Like, I don't want to be too healthy. Right. Like, no, it's we. We want level 10. So then the next part of the quote, your level of success won't exceed your level of personal development. It was like, okay, well then that means I need level 10 personal development in my life. I need a. I need daily rituals and routines that are enabling me to become the level 10 version of myself that is capable with the knowledge and the habits and the mindset and the skills and the discipline and to create the success I want my life. So I asked myself, okay, I want level 10 success. What's my level of personal development based on my daily rituals and routines? And the answer wasn't great. It was like, I'm like, at 2, like maybe a 3 or 4 on a good day, right? I don't have philosopher's notes by Brian Johnson. I don't have any. And so. So this, I believe, is the disconnect for the majority of human beings on the planet is every person on the planet wants to be at a level 10 in terms of their success in their inner and outer world. But school, parent, like, we're never taught that, oh, you need daily disciplines and rituals and routines that are at a level 10 so you can become that person that you need to be to create the success you want. And so I googled what are the world's most successful people do for personal development? What are the best practices? And I was looking for one. I was like, okay, what's one thing I could start doing every day to become a better version of myself and, you know, and, and, and achieve what I want? And I couldn't narrow down to one. I had a list of six practices, and I almost threw in the towel because I was like, I can't do. Like, I, I can't do all these. And none of them is head and shoulders better or more effective than the others. It's like, anyone, pick your one. And so thank God. And literally, I thank God because I feel like it was a divine download. Just. I was like, I got this epiphany like, hey, Hal, what if you did all of them? Like, what if you woke up tomorrow, even like six minutes earlier? I mean, I teach in the miracle morning book, right? The six minute miracle morning. And I woke up the next morning at all six, and they became the savers. So that is the acronym for these six practices, which you already mentioned. The S is for silence. Starting your day with not your smartphone. No, not. That's not the S. It's gratitude, prayer, meditation, breathwork. It's calming your nervous system. It's creating neural pathways in your brain that give way to clarity, to wisdom, to divine downloads that you don't hear when you start the day with noise, with your phone, with reactivity. The A and savers is for affirmations. We can unpack these, but not the goofy way affirmations are often taught, which is like, I'm a money magnet and money flows to me and, and I, I don't mean to offend anyone. That's like, shut up. That's my affirmation, right? Like I teach affirmations in the book. It's three steps that are very practical, actionable, results oriented. It's step one, affirm what you're committed to in each area of your life. As a parent, what are you committed to as a. In your finances, what are you committed to? Health, fitness, right? You name it. And the second part is why is that a must for you? So you get really clear on the meaningful reasons that will motivate and drive, drive you to keep moving toward the outcome you're committed to. And the third step in the affirmations is which actions will you take and when to ensure that you follow through? That's where the rubber meets the road. That's where you actually go, okay, this is what I'm committed to. Here's why. But what am I going to do on a daily basis? When am I going to do it to ensure that I am progressing toward those things? The V and saber is for visualization. The greatest athletes in the world mentally rehearse. They visualize performing at their best and then they do. And we can do the same in our daily life. I visualize playing with my kids on the weekends. I visualize doing interviews during the week and giving speeches and all of that. The E is for exercise. You don't have to go to the gym in the morning. But moving your body is crucial to get the blood flowing to your brain, wake up your lymph system, right? And so the blood and oxygen to your brain and so it's literally as little as 60 seconds of movement can completely shift your physical well being. The R is for reading. And I always say we are one book away from learning something. We need to learn to transform as a parent, as a spouse, whatever, you know, financially, you name it, our mornings. And last but not least is the final. S is for scribing, which is a fancy word for journaling or writing, right? And so every, I teach the three step process again, but it's basically what writing, what do you need to let go of what are you grateful for and what's your number one priority for the day that will move the needle in your life or business? And it's a beautiful transition because it's kind of like, I just finished my miracle morning, and that last practice is transitioning me into an optimal state of focus and productivity so that I can now move from personal development to goal achievement. Like, okay, now I'm going to go reach my goals and utilize who I became during that miracle morning to focus on my highest value and opportunity today.

Oh, I love it. That's amazing. Okay, so then let's talk about. I feel like there's, I'm going to say two types of people. The first type of person is like, I have that dialed in. I crush those. The miracle. I'm dominating it. I actually just don't take action in my life. So coaches on that. And then also the person who is like, I crush my life, but I don't ever do any of those things.

I feel you. It's. So if you are already a morning person, and I'm just reflecting back what I've heard from millions of people, so to speak, collectively that have done the miracle morning is for those that are a morning person. This gives you all sorts of little nuances and just takes your morning routine to the next level. Great example of that is Robert Kiyosaki. Robert Kiyosaki, the author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. He is one of the biggest advocates of the miracle morning. I met him at an event. I slipped him a book. I thought he would never read it. And I got an email three weeks later from his personal assistant saying, robert's read the miracle warning three times in the last three weeks. In my mind, like, I was like, what? He's doing it every day and he wants to have you on Rich Dad Radio on his show. So I go on the show and he is on fire for the miracle. Like, you couldn't have paid someone for a better in someone who's that well known. And so at that time in his life, think about this. This guy's worth. His net worth was $80 million. I googled it at the time. So give or take. All right. He's world renowned. He's a thought leader. I mean, he has an amazing marriage, him and his wife Kim, like, he's a rough around the edges guy in, like, public. They have the sweetest marriage and relationship. He is such a softy around her. I've spent some time with him. So anyway, he tells me that the miracle morning has transformed his marriage his business and his health. And it was just a couple of months that he'd been doing it. And so my point is, he's an example of if you're worth $80 million or if you're where I was when I started the miracle morning and I was worth zero, I was negative 300 grand or anywhere in between. Like this applies to you. And for those that think I'm not a morning person, I say join the club. We have of the millions of Miracle morning practitioners, we survey our audience multiple times a year. And one of the most important questions that we almost always ask is, before you read the miracle Morning, were you a morning person? And 72% of daily miracle morning practitioners say they had never been a morning person before they read the miracle Morning. And that part of it is, honestly, that was my biggest fear when I wrote it, is how am I going to convince non morning people? Because I was not. I like, I'm like, that was me. And I don't know if I would be willing to try this. Like, so the entire book psychologically, mentally and emotionally holds someone hand from, I don't like mornings. I've tried. I'm not a morning person. I'm a night owl. To. Hmm. It's hard to argue with the fact that how I start my day kind of matters for the tone for the rest of the day. Okay, maybe I'll try a little bit. Right? And then I, I don't have people jump in with both feet and like wake up an hour earlier and join the 5am club and do the. I just say wake up 10 minutes earlier and pick one of the savers. And that's how you start your miracle Morning. And so you build it one saver at a time. For example, they'll start with the R and they'll just read the book. And then when they get to the chapter on affirmations, they add that in the chapter on, Right, like, And so it's like it just, you just baby step your way and before you know it, Your Miracle Morning 30 Day Challenge is underfoot. You get through it and you're like, this is easy. Like, I can't believe it. I never thought I could be a morning person. And so that is 72%. And the other 28% are like, I was already a morning person, but this took it to a whole nother level.

That's so great. So good. Okay. I love, I, I love the miracle Morning. I think it's amazing. I also really love the ones for family. Yeah, I forget the authors that You,

Mike and Lindsay McCarthy.

Yeah, but so how does tell us how many books do you have? How many Miracle Mornings are there? How many books are there?

Yeah, there's like between 12 and 15. I. I'm not an exact numbers yet, but there's so many. And here's. It's kind of cool the way that it came to be. The Miracle Morning for Salespeople was the first book that we ever started on and this is how it happened. Ryan Snow is my co author. He and I used to sell Cutco together and then he went on to be very successful in real estate. And he had an entire team of real estate agents that, that work for him were with him. And he called me one day and he said, hal, I'm doing the Miracle Morning. I love it. And this was like less than a year after the book came out. He said, I've gifted the Miracle Morning to my entire sales team. He said roughly half of them read the book and they're doing it every day. They have their own little like accountability group that we do in the office. He said the other half did not read it or do not do it. He said, it cannot be a coincidence that every single person that is in the Miracle Morning group that's doing it, their sales have gone up. And the other group that is not doing it, only a couple of like almost all of their sales have not gone up. Have you thought about doing A Miracle Morning for Salespeople where you bring in your background and you customize the affirmations for sales and on and on. I'm like, I love it, let's do it. And so that's how it started. And then now there's the Miracle Morning for parents and families, as you mentioned, the Miracle Morning for real estate agents, the miracle morning for writers, for college students, for addiction recovery, on and on. And I'm excited to hold this next book up in front of you. This is coming out. Actually it's available for pre order as of a couple days ago. The miracle morning after 50 a proven path to joy, Vitality and purpose for Aging Adults. And I co authored this with Duane J. Clark. And this has been going on for three years. It was like four years ago that he reached out and said, hall, I run one of the largest senior living facilities in America. It's called Aegis Living. I have worked with I don't know how many tens of thousands of seniors. And he said they struggle with purpose, with their energy. On and on he goes, I'm in my late 60s. Miracle Morning changed my Life. We need to create an addition for people over 50. And so we've been, we worked on it for over. It's the most science and research because that's how his brain works. Like brain health, cellular health, like longevity purpose, on and on. And so, yeah. So anybody listen watching miracle morning after 50.com you can pre order the book now. And when you pre order it only, you get five bonuses, four bonus chapters, the Miracle Body, the Miracle Mind, the Miracle Soul, and the Miracle Evening. And then you get a ticket to a live miracle morning after fifth event that Duane and I are hosting together on Zoom in December. So miracle morning after 50 is where you can get that. So, yeah.

Wow, that's so fun. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that for all the.

I'm excited about it.

You could be a little younger and still get it at 50.

Well, that's actually what Dwayne. We really debated because Dwayne's like, you need to start this in your, you know, at least 40s, 30, right? Because he's like, the younger you start understanding how to take care of your brain health and your cellular health versus being like, oh, man, I wish I would have been better when I was younger. So, yeah, so we argue. Like, you know, I'm actually 46. So Dwayne is the. Oh, you too? So Dwayne is the expert. But like, as I was writing this book with him because, you know, he wrote over half of it, I'm like, oh my God, this is. I never even heard of some of the words that you're using. Dwayne, this is brilliant. You know, so, yeah, it definitely applies. And real quick also, if you, to me, if you have someone in your, like, if you're listening and you go, I'm only 20 or 30 or 40 or whatever, this is the best gift for a parent, a grandparent, a mentor, a friend. Like anyone over 50. To me, like, this is the best gift you could give them for like holidays or birthday or whatever. So either group, I feel like it kind of applies to.

Yeah, absolutely. And I really love like the co creation process for all your miracle mornings. Right. Because most of them you have a co author, right?

Virtually all of them. And, and, and, and, and I have to give credit. Honore, I met her early on and she had written a book series for single moms and she and I worked together on the Miracle Morning book series. So she helped me to work with the co. It was just, it was a lot, right? We had multiple books going on, multiple co authors. And so she was a huge part in getting, you know, these, you know, dozen plus books out there in the world. Yeah, yeah.

It's so great. But it's also fun, I would imagine, for you, too, because obviously, you're the expert. It's your brand, it's your. Your philosophy. But then also these people just bring in different elements, so you're also learning while you're writing. And totally, I'm like, this is awesome.

Yeah, well, that's how it works, right? Is I'm partnering with, like, for example, the American Warning for Addiction Recovery. I partner with Joe Polish and Anna David, who both. That's their whole world is addiction recovery. Right. So it's like, they're the resident experts on this topic. And then we work together on, okay, how do we customize the Miracle Morning for folks that are trying to, you know, overcome an addiction? But 60% of the book has nothing to do with the Miracle Morning. It's completely specialized content on the topic. So, like, the Miracle Morning for parents and families. Mike and Lindsey are bringing in their expertise on parenting and on holding kids accountable and on encouraging kids and, you know, on and on and on. So, yeah, so it. It really created where the series books didn't become redundant, which was my biggest fear when I started. Like, I want these to be great reminders of the original Miracle Morning, but I want them to be mostly, like, even if you read the Miracle Morning original edition, like, this is new content that's going to enhance not just your mornings, but, you know, your life as a parent, as a writer, as a real estate agent, so on and so forth.

Right. Okay. So I want to talk a little bit about family. Since we talked about the Miracle Morning

family, I would love it.

How have you incorporated this with your family? Does your wife do this? Like, how does that whole family dynamic work with. With your work?

Yeah, it's a really interesting answer in that none of my family members do the Miracle Morning. They have all tried it and decided not to continue. And that used to bother me of. Now it does not. And there's multiple reasons why. One is, you know, my wife and I are the yin and the yang. And so she stays up late when the kids want to stay up late. Dad's in bed. If we need to get up early for something, I'm up early. She can sleep in a little bit. Right. So it works out well. But here's the biggest thing, and I think this is true for any relationship. It's how you show up. This is just true for life. Right. Like, the most Important thing that every person watching or listening can do is optimize how you show up, how you show up in your work, how you show up in your marriage, how you show up as a parent. That's the only thing you have control over is how you show up. You can't control other people. And I always try to control my wife, like just wake up early, I tried to convince her, my kids, I'm bribing them, I'll pay you to do the miracle. And now I focus my miracle morning and I utilize the practices to help me be the husband that Ursula deserves, the father that my 16 year old daughter and my 13 year old son deserve, the leader that my team deserves, right? Like that's what it's about. And my marriage has transformed not because I convinced my wife to do something I wanted her to do, but because I optimize how I show up for her in all situations. And so our marriage is better because of that self responsibility that I take. And then, you know, people reflect your energy, right? Like if you show up and you're angry, then they're gonna get angry back and vice versa if you allow someone's anger to determine how you show up. But for me, it's like in my affirmations, when my wife and I were facing a lot of adversity in 2016, I wrote my affirmations. This is who I'm committed to being as a husband. Patient, loving, supportive, romantic. And I went, you know, I, I elaborated on each of those. And then one of the most important things was, and if my wife, if Ursula is in a bad mood, if she's angry, if she puts me down or insults me or tells me I'm not, whatever, I am not going to reflect that back. I'm going to be even more loving and more forgiving and more empathetic, right? So by me using my miracle morning to optimize how I showed up, it transformed our marriage. And because she reflected like, oh wow, you're being awesome. I want to be awesome back to you, right? So I think it takes one person to, you know, to transform any aspect of your life and that person is you.

Yeah. Brilliant. So good. I love, I love you just sharing about your family too. Because people always say that with heroic right of like, do your kids just do it? I'm like, no, my kids don't want to hear me or totally, I live with you.

Yeah.

I'm not like, I'll try to get them to watch videos or do.

That's it.

Like I live with you. Like, why would I do that? And I was like, kids around the world do this.

Yeah, that's what I know. Yeah. Like, you guys, it works for millions of people. What the heck's wrong with you? You think? Yeah, yeah, been there, done that.

Have that same thing of like, you know, I had the parenting expert one say to me, you know, your kids have their own destiny. They've had their own things. And I'm like, but these things are scientifically proven.

There is no arguing that this is the right way to do it.

Sharing on that. And it's great. And I. And it's also awesome. Just your moment to moment practice, you know, to use Brian's word, arete of like, I'm committed to being these things and sometimes I'm not, but I come back in alignment. Back in alignment. This is who I want to be. It's like, I'm sure it's easier for you now to be your best self, but you've practiced for decades in the moment to come back. This is who I want to be. Because I think a lot of people can probably look at you and be like, well, it's easy for Hal. Yeah, it's just easier for him. And maybe, maybe it is easier for you. But I think that every great person also had to practice the heck out of.

Well, totally. Like, I. I deal with self doubt, I deal with insecurity. My mental health is a struggle, especially after cancer. I did 700 hours of chemo. I became suicidal after that. All of my tools did not change the fact that my brain chemistry was effed up like it was out of whack and I wanted to die and I wasn't sleeping. And so I went through all of that and to this day, I'm still recovering from that. Like, my brain is not the same as it was before I went through chemo. So, yeah, so it's still every day, but it's like to your point, decades of these tools and these practices and the five minute rule and the miracle morning. And that to me, like, the miracle morning is the number one. Like, if I had to pick one thing in my life that enables me to be successful and successful, meaning in the broadest sense, mentally and emotionally successful, relationally successful, financially successful. If I had to pick one thing, it is the miracle morning. It is the anchor that resets every day to get me focused on. Here's what matters most to me, here's why it's important, here's what I'm committed to and I'm going to do these practices to nurture my mental and emotional health, optimize my. The knowledge I'm gaining. Like, that is the practice that every day resets me and keeps me focused on moving forward in the most positive way possible.

All right. Okay. So I want to go back to Ursula. How do you support Ursula? I love you. Already shared a little bit on how you support her, you know, because this is Rock youk Goddess life. So how do you support her in her heroine's journey? How has that evolved? I don't know how long you guys have been married, but, like, what are the way that you do that for her? And what would you recommend for men to support the women in their lives?

Yeah. And then I'll start by answering the question, how long? 21 years together. She was 19, and I was 25 when I met her, and she just turned 40, and I'm 46, so I've been with her a little over half her life and married for, I think, 16 of those years. Yeah. And how do I support her? I support her by striving to see her the way I imagine God sees all of us, and to love her the way that God, I imagine, loves all of us. And it's this unconditional love. It's this acceptance of who she is. And I'm not perfect, right? Like, her and I have different standards. Like, any couple does. Right? So she'll eat things that I'm like, I would never eat that. There's seed oils in it. Right. You know, in fact, I'm literally referencing this morning. I'm like. I'm like, why do you buy ranch dressing? She's like, I love ranch dressing. I'm like, yeah, but canola oil is, like, the second ingredient. And she's like, stop. Just stop. Right?

So kids are like, just stop, Mommy. Just stop. And I was like, I can't. I just can't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, I'm. I'm like a 99 percenter, where I'm like, I try to strive toward impeccable everything. Like, why would you put anything in your body that is not adding value? It could be detrimental. Right. So. But. So I. Again, not perfect at it, but I strive to just really and to your point, let her be on her own journey. Like, and it's amazing that as, like, that's what love is. Love is grace and space. Again, you think about God, grace, right? Like, it's. It's like loving someone. And here's the thing. Here's what I realized. And I wrote Ursula a letter. This was as Recent as a few weeks ago, I said, hey, sweetheart, I realized this was like in a moment of meditation in my miracle morning that I had this realization. I said, I realized that I have set impossible standards throughout our marriage and standards that you and the kids can never meet because they're always changing and they're always evolving and they're always becoming more impeccable, right? And I said, and what I realized is that when you do not meet those standards, and I don't do this on purpose, I promise, but unconsciously I withdraw my love in different ways. That might be simply where I'm loving you and then you do something that I don't agree with. And now I'm mad at you, now I'm frustrated, now I'm disappointed. Now I'm bringing it to your attention like canola oil in the ranch dressing, right? And so you now don't feel loved, you don't feel safe, you don't feel accepted. So that is a recent breakthrough that I had, which is another layer of this striving to love the way God would love unconditionally, with imperfections all accepted. It's all okay, right? So it's like, it's always a learning experience. Like, this is a new perspective on the perspective, right? It's a new layer. It's a new nuanced understanding of, like, wow, I have created these impossible standards. I withdraw my love when you don't meet them unconsciously. And I. I'm going to try not to do that anymore. So I've been going all in on making her feel loved, even in the midst of her being angry or hormonal or like, whatever's going on. I'm. I'm like, hey, I know you're. You know, I try to be more patient, more loving, more forgiving, you know, and, and. And really create this safe space that I feel like she's never fully had. And she's a child of divorce. So she came into our relationship afraid that I was going to leave her from day one. And because of the, the dance that I just described of withdrawing love because she doesn't meet my impossible expectations, I've never fully given her a safe space to just be herself and know that there's nothing she could do for me to withdraw my love. So that's, that's the, the level I'm trying to. To. To play at now.

Oh, that's so amazing. It's so amazing. I mean, I love this story. So beautiful. And it's, like, funny because that's similar to Brian And I in a relationship, I mean, I'm like you and intense on all that I do. Brian and I are, like, similar on that.

Well, I know Brian, by the way. I don't mean to interrupt you, but I would say Brian probably puts me to shame in terms of having the most impossible standards to live up to. From what I know about Brian. Brian is me on steroids. I'm like kindergarten Brian.

I'm like, I don't think so. You guys are very similar. Well, both of us are. There'll be people who come to visit, and they hear me talk about what I do and how I. Whatever. And they're like, wow, I thought Brian was intense. You know, Brian always is. Like, Alexandra is super intense.

Oh, wow. Okay.

So. So we're. We're equal on that. But he does have high standards. And there was that feeling of, like, withdraw that I would feel not safe, like, you know, and that you. It's just really beautiful to imagine you holding Ursula in that space. Like, I know what that feels like. Of like, I'm here. I've got you, you know, everything I want you to do the way I want to do it, but I still love you. Yeah, that's really.

And that's so important for anyone to examine because that's an unconscious thing. Right? Like, we would never think. You don't think because you're not trying to. You're not going. You didn't put the dishes away, so now I'm withdrawing my love. Like, that's not the language that's happening in our head. You're just like, in your head. You're like, I'm pissed. Why did they not do the thing they. I've told them a million times on and on, like, that's the story of 99.9% of relationships. But when we can realize it from this perspective and be like, oh, I withdraw my love, and that's not really love. And what if I were to love this person even when they mess up and make mistakes and don't meet my needs or standards or desires or expectations? What would that type of relationship be like? And I can tell you, and I know, you know, it's way better for both of us, for both parties, brought

this up because I was literally making breakfast this morning, and my kids did something that I didn't think they should do. There was, you know, bad moods. And I was like, what is the bad mood? What are we doing? Right? And so I had this story. I had a very similar thing of, like, my frustration with my family and I find family the most. Like, my husband and my kids are, like, the most frustrating. Like, they're the most, like, personal growth.

Yeah, of course.

But I'm like, it's all my story. Go back to what you said. Like, it's my story story. If they did these things and when did I think that I was queen of everything? Then I know how to do everything. But in my mind, I'm like, I know how to do it. Dishwasher, you should do this. It's just funny how we do that in our intimate partnerships. Right?

Totally. And my wife does it too. She, like, has the, if you're gonna do it, do it right. Do it the way you're like. Like, one thing I have a habit of doing is I will do 90% of the dishes. I will just leave the 10%. I don't know why. I'm just like, oh, that feels good. It's mostly done and she can't stay. Of course. As you're

like, why didn't you do these dishes right here? And I was like, it's mostly done. I feel complete. I'm good.

Oh, it's hilarious.

Things that we upset each other about. But it's really to go back to, right. Of, like, the things that we get upset about in total. I mean, I'm not perfect, and I'm striving to it, and I have to remind myself who I want to be over and over and over.

Yeah. Yeah. And maybe if we dug even deeper, maybe we actually are doing 90% of the dishes because we actually want attention from our partner. And we know that if we don't do them all, it'll start, like, who knows? Right? Like, there could be some deep seated, you know, parental trauma that we're dealing with. You're like, yeah, I didn't get enough attention as a kid. And when I acted out, that's when I got attention, attention. So I'm still doing. I don't know, I don't intend to do it, but so much is happening unconsciously.

No. It's so wild. Right? Like, what is happening unconscious and all of our life. Right. Like, I love that your mission is to elevate.

Yeah. Elevate the consciousness of humanity. Right. Being more aware, like that five minute rule. I'm like, oh, I'm now conscious that I self create emotional pain when I resist reality. And when I say, can't change it, and I accept it, I get to be free from pain and at peace. Whoa. Right? So that's an elevation of conscious awareness of what's Happening inside of you and around you. Yeah. And as you elevate your consciousness, you become. I mean, you become more capable of creating and experiencing the life that you want.

Yeah. And it's like you go back to. I go back to who I was, my consciousness, when I'm 20. Right. But like, how many layers and how much expensive expansion I've had. That's why I love all this work, because it's possible. Yeah, right. Like all these things, unconscious beliefs that I have, like, what, what's the floor? And like, how do I break that open? That's fascinating to me because I know I'm not seeing reality even correctly. Sure, right.

Yeah, totally.

We're seeing through what we believe.

Yep, yep. Yeah. Very well said.

Okay, so I do. I know you're going to wrap up here, but I do want to hear about your ranch because I know you just. Brian recently was like, he's doing. This is like one of my dreams. I don't. I can't run it though. I need to have somebody. So if anybody wants to run it. Because we have land here and I've had animals. It's just. I like them, but it's not my thing.

Okay.

Donkeys, goats, whatever. Yeah, but tell me what started this? Like, how long have you had it? And yeah, what's, what's. Give me the lowdown.

The way it started was when in 2020, when the grocery stores ran out of food. And I was like, oh, our supply chains are fragile. And I am big into healthy eating. And I was talking to a friend about it and he said, yeah. He goes, there may be a point where the only people that are eating healthy food are those that can grow it. He goes, I mean, look at the grocery store. You gotta go to like, you know, 2% of the grocery store is actually food that you should put in your body. The other 98% is processed and chemicals and preservatives and sugar and. Right. And it's like. And that just when he said that, I was like, we gotta go get land so we can grow our own food. And so we started looking and we ended up buying more land than I would like in hindsight. We jumped again with 32 acres. And I'm like, that's a little more. And we had horses for a while. We don't have horses anymore. I'm the same as you. I am not an animals person. My wife is. And so it's working out for her. She has, we have a double sided chicken Cooper. Uh, we're currently raising like 50 birds and she, she does her own eggs. She processes her own birds. We eat our. We grow our own chicken. And we had chicken last night, right? And she does it in the most humane, spiritual way where she prays over the animals. She does it in this really. It's the painless way to do it. And, and, and so, and she loves that. We had sheep for a while, but they didn't give us milk, so we don't have sheep anymore. And we have four dogs and we have, you know, and so my son has a go kart. So we ride. That's how we're using the 32 acres is my son's go kart, basically. But then it is cool because my daughter and I just started running and we get to run. There's a one mile loop on our property. I mean, we could really run multiple miles, but we have this one mile loop. And so we just, if we want to run a mile, we just run the loop, run it twice, whatever. And it's. We don't. We don't have to go in the neighborhood. We don't. We stay. You can't see our house from the road, which we love that we can go, we can walk naked around our property and go swimming naked and stuff, which we definitely. Yeah, you too. So. Yeah. So it's, It's a mix. What'd you say?

We're very wild out here.

Yeah. Oh, totally. So it's, it's, it's a mix. You know, it's like. Yeah, I have mixed feelings. I, again, I would have done maybe six acres, I think, you know, but

that's good to know. We have 10. We had.

You have 10?

10. And we have like a mile. No, a half of a mile loop that we carved. That was the first thing that we did.

Nice.

My favorite thing on the land. I am out there. I mean, I am out there all the time. I love it, and I love the animals. I don't like to be responsible for that.

Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I like. Yeah, it's a good point. I like the animals. My wife, though, she's like, she's hardcore. She can handle. No, she can handle anything.

I need that person to do that.

I know, I know. She finds fulfillment. And she told me that it was interesting. She goes, I think it's the motherly. It's like self awareness and analysis. She's like, I think it's the motherly instinct in me that likes to be able to raise these, you know, and care for these animals. Because I, I, I, I, as a mother, I I don't get to do that at the same level with my teenage kids as when they were little, you know? So, yeah, so she loves. She loves the animals. And she even said this morning, it's like, I love our dogs so much. We have three great Pyrenees, like, hundred pounders, and then we have one little multi poo that the kids got before we move to the ranch. And he's still the alpha. He goes out and barks at all of them. It's so funny.

Okay, so we need to come to your land, and you need to come to our land.

Agreed? Agreed. Let's do it.

Oh, we should definitely do that, because I want to see your land, and we have very similar dogs and animals.

Nice.

Okay, Hal. Well, where can people find you?

MiracleMorning.com is the best hub. So if you go to MiracleMorning.com, you can watch the Miracle morning movie for free, which is a feature length, 90 minute documentary that features me, obviously, but also Mel Robbins, Robin Sharma, Brendan Burchard, Lewis Howes, Layla Ali, Robert Kiyosaki, on and on. And my cancer journey was captured on film as I'm facing death. Our director decided to film the entire thing, and that's part of the documentary there. So miraclemorning.com for that, you can download the Miracle morning app in the App store or Google Play, but you can also go to miraclemorning.com. it links there. The books. All the books. Right. Amazon. But MiracleMorning.com links to everything, including my podcast, which I do every week, called the achieve your goals podcast.

Amazing. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for being such an inspiration. I'm so inspired by who you are, how you show up and what you've done. Like, it's truly remarkable. And I know Brian dearly loves you and appreciates you as well, so thank you. Appreciate you.

Thank you, Alexandra. He and I were texting, and I'm like, I can't believe this is the first time I'm meeting Alexandra. This is crazy. And so anyway, in the same area.

I mean, in the same area.

Yeah.

And not seen each other.

So we're gonna. We're gonna change that. Tell Brian to text me and work out the. Let's put it on the calendar.

I will make that happen.

Okay.

He will probably just work and I'll be like, okay, we're gonna go to hell. Unless you want to come here first, but we'll figure that out.

I love it.

All right, lots of love. Thank you so much, Al.

Bye, Alexandra. Thanks for having me.

Bye.