Navigating the Complexities of Collaborating with Attorneys

So this week I'm gonna talk to you about, all right, now you have your attorney clients, how do you work with them? So sometimes, and not always, 'cause attorneys are people, but sometimes you're gonna find that there's some complexities around collaborating with attorneys. So sometimes, and I've had this happen many times, working with attorneys can feel daunting. They have an extensive knowledge, they're always highly intelligent, and they can have an assertive demeanor just by the way of what they do for a living. They have to go to court and have to fight for everything, and that can be intimidating as you work with them. A recent survey by the American Bar Association said that 75% of legal professionals experience stress with their client interactions. So know that might be behind them snapping at you. It's essential to recognize that many attorneys are very approachable and they can be kind. But some can be abrupt and even harsh. So I wanted to talk about this in the video only because this happens. We've actually had this as a topic at the Law Lab, and I'm gonna give you some practical strategies for managing those interactions with the attorneys who exhibit those challenging traits. So we'll start with if you are trying to explain something to them and it turns sour on you, you wanna stand firm in your position. Don't back down, don't be wimpy, don't be, especially as females, if you're a female bookkeeper, it's one of our tendencies. We tend to back off a little bit. We tend to try to please everybody. You have to stand firm in your position. Believe me, they will swallow you up whole if you don't do that. It's essential to assert yourself and not let the attorney intimidate you. I've often felt pressured in my earlier experiences, and I felt like I had to accommodate every request, like, right away. I had to do it instantly. And I learned that pushing against this aggressive behavior can be a helpful tactic. So according to the study of the National Association of Legal Professionals, nearly 40% of attorneys feel compelled to maintain a dominant presence. So know that's out there when you're looking at personality traits of attorneys. They have to maintain a dominant presence when they're working with their clients, and sometimes they have trouble switching that off when dealing with others, whether it's their husband, spouse, wife, whatever, or there are other professionals they work with, like their tax professional or their bookkeeper. So know that's out there, it's part of it, and then understand it a little bit. I think that's the biggest piece of it. So you wanna evaluate the context of from where it's coming from. I've talked to some people who do not wanna work with family lawyers because they harbor this burden of working with such a highly emotional state that sometimes they're so stressed out, it's really hard to work with them. It's hard to get them even to stop and to talk to you sometimes. So really, if an attorney's working with you and they're particularly harsh with you, it can be beneficial to consider their circumstances. Did they have an emotionally charged case that day that may affect their demeanor? Maybe they went to court trying to protect their client to get their child custody case going and they lost in court. So if the attorney's under significant stress, an emotional strain from their job. You could understand the context of it. They snap at you, maybe that's where it's coming from. You want to utilize effective communication techniques. So when responding to a not so nice email or text, avoid the accusatory language. Don't use the word, "You said this," or, "You did that." You wanna make sure that you use a verbalizing, a way of verbalizing to rephrase it. And you can actually take it into ChatGPT and say, "Rephrase this." Sì. Comment and take any blaming out of it so that they'll clean up the language. You can write the nastiest email, and I have done that because I've been so agitated by something that a lawyer has said to me, and I'll take it and say, "Make this kind," and stick it up in my You.com AI, and it does a great job at doing that. So know that sometimes it feels good to get the frustration out. You're pounding it out in an email, and then you plunk it up into the AI and say, "Make this kind," and then it really changes it enough that when you look at it, you're like, "Ah, it's not really gonna convey how angry I am," but— Yeah. Is that gonna really benefit me in the long run? So sometimes if it's a heated discussion, re— or heated verbal back and forth with— not verbal, but written back and forth, ask to get on a call, ask to get on a Zoom meeting so you're face-to-face. That will definitely soften some of the dynamics, having a full-on conversation where they can see your face. And strategically pause in your language to enhance the clarity of what you're trying to say. It'll also help you reduce the hostility and will lead to more productive outcomes. And then if you have to get that third person involved, get that person involved. If you need that third person's insight, go for it. So when you're working with attorney clients, remember they're people too. They have bad days and good days. And remember the ultimate goal is to build a relationship with them that brings you both professional enjoyment And we like to say we partner with that law firm, but you wanna make sure that you don't have to sit back and reassess the relationship, that you wanna end it on a good note. You wanna be successful. And sometimes it's just a matter of, I feel like you're attacking me. Can we take this, take this to a meeting in person so that we can discuss the issues and come to an agreement? And sometimes you have to let those clients go. I'll just be quite honest. Sometimes the client is just not gonna work out and you might have to let them go, but know that. Yeah. That should be the last result— result— last resort. And hopefully, as you go through with this, you will find a way to work with most of the people that you work with. And just always remember, there might be a reason behind their being flip or short with you. I hope that helps, and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out. And until next week, we'll see you then. Bye now.