Being introverted, sounding robotic, my story & the Flap T | Answering your questions
In this YouTube Q&A, Hadar Shemesh and her content director Christina answer audience questions about English pronunciation, fluency, and language learning. They begin by addressing how introverts can communicate clearly, emphasizing that introversion does not imply poor fluency and recommending solo speech practice, clarity of speech versus thought, and one‑on‑one conversations, especially through the Beyond community. They critique conventional ESL curricula that prioritize alphabet and spelling before sound, advocating a sound‑first, phonics‑inspired approach that teaches vowels and consonant sounds before writing. Hadar shares her own learning journey from growing up in Israel, learning English through TV, moving to the US for acting, and discovering the importance of pronunciation, prosody, and connection. Practical pronunciation tips are given for the "-ble" ending (dark L, "bull" analogy) and the American flap‑T (thinking of a light D or R, reducing tension, practicing in fast phrases). They discuss the risk of over‑enunciating, which can make speech sound robotic, and stress the need to balance articulation with prosody, release tension, and maintain natural rhythm. Creativity is encouraged through improv, acting, humor, and personal interests, with advice to integrate enjoyable activities into language practice. Consistency is highlighted: 10 minutes of daily, purposeful speaking leads to fluency. The episode ends with motivational remarks about finding one’s unique learning path.
Chapters
Hi everyone, it's Hadar. Thank you so much for joining me today. We have a special Q&A episode for you. I'm here with Christina. Hi Christina.
Hi everyone.
Christina is my content director and friend and coach in our, uh, company. And we asked our community and our students and our social media followers if they had any questions about language pronunciation, about me, anything that they wanted to know. And today we are going to answer those questions. I mean, I will, Christina will ask the questions and then she will also share her insights because she's a smart person and we want to listen to her as well.
Okay.
Sometimes. Okay. All right, Christina, so do you have anything to add to this?
No, I'm excited. You guys asked a lot of great questions, um, and we have a little bit of everything, so let's get started.
What was like the weirdest question? Okay, never mind. There are no weird questions. So what's the first question that you have for me, Christina?
Our first question comes from Ariana, who is asking, how can an introvert communicate with clarity?
Mm, that's a good question. Well, first of all, I wanna say that nothing about being an introvert means that you need to be unclear, right? Let's just agree. There's like, the fact that you're an introvert doesn't necessarily mean automatically that you need to be less fluent. Or less confident in any way. And I also want to distinguish being an introvert, which is someone that prefers to get their energy or gets recharged by being alone versus being around other people, which also means that being around other people is taking a lot of their energy.
Yeah.
I'm actually an introvert mostly. Right? Yeah. So I like, if I, if, I'm in a social situation, I need to be alone after that to recharge, otherwise I'm gonna feel empty and I'm gonna feel tired and agitated, right? So being an introvert, like, you just need to respect how you learn and how you communicate with people, and you might need to do things slightly differently than what people tell you to do or what is the common recommendation.
Mm-hmm.
But it does not necessarily mean that you are bound to be less fluent because you don't get to practice.
Okay.
Mm-hmm. I also want to say that clarity is another thing. Clarity is something that you can work on, on your own, right? And we have clarity of speech and we have clarity of thought. And these are 2 things and you wanna work on them differently. Clarity of speech, great for introverts cuz this is definitely something that you can do on your own. Yeah. You don't need other people for that. So you identify the key sounds that you don't pronounce well or that you confuse. You practice connecting the thoughts together, speaking out loud. And I have a lot of videos on how to improve your pronunciation and your clarity. And all of these things, not only that you can do alone, you should do alone, right? You can record yourself, you can listen to it, but it's something that you can do on your own. However, clarity of thought, it needs the listener as well. And for that, you do need to practice with other people. So there is the stage before speaking to other people that you can practice on your own. So for example, every day when you wake up, you can think of a topic, an aspect of your life, or just use a list of words generated by AI, or you can search them on Google of common topics to discuss or controversial questions or things that you want to have an opinion on. And then just practice speaking about it to yourself. You don't need a listener. You don't need— just practice speaking. And then if you feel like you were able to express yourself, great. If not, just repeat it, right? The second time is always easier, and then the third time is even better. And you start understanding not only how to say what you want, but what you even want to say, because that is a skill to be developed. And a lot of times introverts or shy people just accept that this is how it is, right?
Mm-hmm.
Like it's foggy, I'm distracted, I'm not clear, right? And it doesn't have to be this way. You can develop that skill. It's just that people who don't have a lot of experience speaking to other people, they don't build that skill naturally. So you need to artificially build it on your own.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. And then the next step would be to have people around you that you get to speak with. And for introverts, I would say to start with one-on-ones.
That's what I was gonna say too, because I think that introverts have, or some people have this idea that extroverts are better because you need to be in big groups and speak to a lot of people, but you don't. You can build your fluency maybe even in a better way by going deep with one person.
Right, and you feel confident and comfortable with another person.
So I think finding those one-on-one connections in English, to find an accountability partner or someone that you can connect with in English One-on-one is a much less intimidating approach.
Yeah.
Than feeling like you have to go to a party or big groups. Yeah. Or all of these things, because you don't really need that if it's not your, who you are.
Yeah. And I find that introverts, I mean, I'm willing to be corrected on this, but they like to go, that it, it's, it's good. It's more engaging for them to go deeper.
Mm-hmm.
Right? Like, so that also make it, to make it meaningful connections that are meaningful, that it's more than just the language practice. Yeah. It's really like connecting, getting to to know someone, being able to express yourself, expose yourself so that you feel safe because fluency requires safety and whatever it is that you need to feel safe, then you'll be able to be more fluent, to have clarity of thought and clarity of speech.
Yeah.
And Christina, tell me, if people want to find one-on-one partners that will allow them to develop meaningful connections, where would they go?
I happen to know of a great community called Beyond. You might've heard of it, but it's our English practice community and there we have an amazing platform For one-on-one. And we have so many introverts in Beyond, don't we? We have so many introverts.
Yeah.
People that will— your, your, your people, um, where you can find and create so many deep connections. And you don't have to be an extrovert at all.
No, no. And I think that introverts are not— they don't have to be shy either, right? So there is a difference, right? Like shyness is already like what happens in your brain when you go into speaking to other people. And we, know that we need to work on thoughts that don't serve us.
Yeah.
Yeah. All right, next question.
Beth is asking, hi Hadar, I'm retired— I'm a retired elementary teacher and I'm now teaching a couple of second language learners. I've often wondered why second language literacy programs don't teach English as native speakers learn it in school. So native speakers learn in school long versus short vowels, the soft G, the hard G.
Phonics.
Phonics.
Right, they hear the sound and then they associate the spelling patterns with it. For people who don't know, this is how native speakers learn how to, how to write.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Because English is not a phonetic language.
Right.
So we have to have other methods.
Right. So, and yet what Beth is saying, this is how we learn, or native speakers learn how to write through phonics, and then you learn the sounds. But that is not the case for non-native speakers.
Yeah.
I don't know. I was wondering the same thing. I am wondering, and this is why I'm doing what I'm doing, because I think it's ridiculous to teach the alphabet first. That messed me up so badly when I was in 5th grade because my teacher said to me, A is an ah, E is an eh, I is an ee. And that is— could not be farther from true, right? And And then like when you try to, when you think, when you learn how to spell, or like when the focus is so heavy on spelling, but no one teaches you the sounds.
Mm-hmm.
Then you're so lost and then you lose confidence and then you actually don't know how to pronounce sounds, or you don't even know that there is a difference between sheep and ship and, um, and bed and bad. And when you see an O, it could be not, it could be note. Depending on how it's spelled.
Mm-hmm.
So to your question, I think it's just because it was, there was, there is an assumption that people who don't know the alphabet need to learn the alphabet first, and based on that, learn the language. I don't know. I have a lot to say about conventional teaching and how non-native speakers learn the language in a formal way. I mean, the reason why I have so much work with so many different people at different ages is because the way people learn English in school just doesn't work.
So problematic.
It's so problematic.
Yeah.
Because it, it's not intuitive. It's overwhelming. It's designed to help you pass the test and not to actually succeed in speaking. And it doesn't allow you to do the most important thing, which is to speak. Before you read and write.
Yeah.
And I think it's the other way around. When you learn a second language, you learn how to read and write first, right? And then answer all the questions and everything, and only later comes the language. And then that's why pronunciation and spelling become detached. And when I teach, I do something similar to phonics, and I've studied it because I've never learned phonics, you know, as a non-native speaker, and I had to learn it as a teacher to understand how native speakers learn it. Because there is something a lot more intuitive about it. But for people who have already studied orthography or the spelling, uh, system of English, it's harder to understand it later. And it's just like overwhelming with all the other things that they have to learn.
Mm-hmm.
And when I teach pronunciation, I, I do the same thing. I teach the sound, for example, ah, right? Let's first figure out the sound. Ah, as in hot, as in coffee, as in sorry as in possibility, and then we'll look at the different spelling patterns. But I want people to start recognizing sounds and not letters.
So if you could, like, in summary, if you could rearrange how people learn a language from, from the beginning to, you know, more— a more fluent level, what would you change? Like, what would that path be?
Probably I would not incorporate any writing at the beginning.
Okay, right.
A lot of speaking, a lot of sound work, a lot of, um, back and forth conversation also to build the confidence. And then after that, I would probably use the phonics method or something that is more designed for non-native speakers. Mm-hmm. And then help them understand and connect. 'Cause you don't need to learn all the sounds, right?
Right.
Like most people will know what a T is, right? And a lot of people would know how to associate the L with a L. Sound depending on the first language and the— and, and your writing system. But you can filter out and only focus on vowels and then to teach it according to sounds. Um, and yeah, in, in a lot of practice and implementation, I think that's the first thing that I would incorporate— a lot of practice between students, students and teachers, but out loud practice, out loud repetition, repetition, less content and to go deeper and to make sure that people implement it.
Yeah. And I can remember because I did learn phonics and I remember like songs being a huge part of learning because you have to say it out loud, you have to speak it out loud, a lot of rhyming, a lot of like, you just have to say it out loud all the time. I mean, that's how you learn it and that's how you hear it. So I think that's such an important part that a lot of people might go through and learn English in school and never speak it.
Right. And it's like when you— when it's fun, Then you have a positive experience inside the language and you're willing and you're excited about learning more.
Yeah.
And I love, there's a few accounts that I love, I follow of teachers teaching kindergartners, uh, phonics.
Yeah.
And it's so good, like how they respond to it and they know and the, like, it's, it's really such a, such a great method. And yeah, but you know, there is, there's, there is a lot, a lot of work to be done. So Beth, for you, I would also say if this is an instinct that you have, I would test it out and take what you've learned and try it out with your students and see how they respond to it, because I think there's a lot to discover there.
Okay, our next question comes from Aga, and she is asking, I often have trouble pronouncing words that end in -ble, like inevitable. When I try to say them, it feels like my tongue gets tangled and I can't get the word to come out smoothly. Do you have any? Is there any specific rule or technique for pronouncing this BLE ending? And do you have any exercises that could help me pronounce these words more naturally?
So when it comes to pronunciation, I always love to give people like to simplify what it is because the BLE is a little kind of like ambiguous. But if you think about it, Aga, if you think about it as if the ending is B, small O, and L. Bol. And it's a dark L, right? So it's going to sound a little lighter than L, right? It's not bol, but ol. So you need to engage the back of the tongue. This is how the L sounds at the end of words in English. Ol, dark L. You don't even have to bring the tip of the tongue to touch the upper palate versus L, light L. At the beginning of words. So if you incorporate that dark L and you go from the B to the L, bull, it sounds like there is a little O in between, like a neutral O. Bull. And that's it. That's all you need to remember. So let's think of words like trouble. Truh, the beginning clear, TR and a sh and a cup sound. Truh, truh. Notice that the TR becomes a ch sound. Tra-bull, bull. That's it. No need to overcomplicate it. Bull, bull, bull. Dark L. Trouble, trouble. Possible, possible. Inevitable, inevitable. Bull, bull. The ending is the same.
The next question comes from Yvette, and Yvette is asking a question that we get a lot, and I know that we might have quite a few new people that, that are always wondering like, what is your story? How did you get to be here today teaching other people pronunciation as a non-native speaker? Like, what was your path? What was your story? So Yvette was asking, how long did it take you to really feel like you mastered the language? Um, like, how— what, what did your study time look like? What did you focus on? And what advice would you give to somebody that is Where you used to be.
Okay. Do we have 2 hours? Uh, so I'm a non-native speaker of English. I grew up in, in Israel and I spoke only Hebrew, uh, with my family. Um, I didn't even have, like, we didn't have cable TV. We weren't exposed to TV much, like, until I was 13. So, like, No English, but I studied English in school. So we started studying in fifth grade. Terrible, like awful. It wasn't really like it didn't do a lot to my English. But when I was, I think, thirteen or fourteen, we started cable satellite TV has arrived into into my life and cable TV, and then. Uh, I started watching Friends and Seinfeld.
Mm-hmm.
And like shows in English. And, and I just started like hearing the language. And I think that's where I learned, I really got the melody and the humor and the, and the sounds of English. And then I studied English throughout high school, but just like, you know, I wasn't a good student. I, you know, got like, I think I a C- at the end of my studies. Um, but then I moved to the US, uh, when I was 21 because I wanted to become an actress and I wanted to study acting. And I moved there, but the first year and a half I wasn't, I was just like hanging out. I was working, I was doing a whole bunch of things and I was just using the language a lot, which I think—
So at that point at 21, you were speaking in English. I was, you had friends in English.
Yes. But I wasn't, I wasn't.
Studying it.
Studying it. And I wasn't extremely good at it.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
But you weren't improving. You were just speaking, but not like working on really improving.
No, I wasn't intentionally working on my English at that point because I knew enough to get by.
Mm-hmm.
But my grammar was broken. I had a very noticeable non-native accent, which is absolutely fine. But for me, like, I wanted to be a New Yorker. I wanted, like, that was my dream. So. That bothered me because every time I would go into a conversation, I would be asked, oh, where are you from? You know, and I even changed my name. So like, it's such a— I want to hug little Hadar that felt like she had to change her name. And I said that my name was Julia just so that people wouldn't ask me where I was from. Of course, that didn't stop them from asking me where I was from.
Didn't work.
Because they heard that I wasn't from New York. Um, so I started like getting, I was like, why is that? What's going on? You know?
Mm-hmm.
Um, but I started making connections with people and I think that has helped a lot because like when, when there is one thing that when it becomes more important than actually learning the language, and that is connection and like wanting to convey something so badly that you would find a way no matter what. I think that is the most impactful thing that you can do. Mm-hmm. This is why, like, one of the things that I promote now is really getting out there and making connections and making English the means, not the goal, especially when you already speak the language at a certain level, right? Yeah. Like at an intermediate, let's say, level.
And so when you went from like, you had connections, you knew that there was something missing, but you didn't know like maybe exactly what it was. How did you go from, okay, like this bothers me, I want to work on it. And then what was your, like, your strategy, your method for getting to to where you wanted to be and eventually where you are now?
I think I was at a point where I just compromised.
Mm-hmm.
For a long time. So I didn't, I never intentionally said, now I need to work on my English. I just felt like I was not myself and I had to work harder and I felt a little sad for myself. Mm-hmm. And like a victim's like, oh, it's so much easier for everyone else. Especially, um, like in my next stage, I, I studied acting. This is where everything changed.
Mm-hmm.
But like I was, I, I just accepted it. that I would, like, I wanted to make a connection. I had friends, but I always felt like, ugh, it's not fully me, or I'm not, you know, I was brave, I was doing the things, but I wasn't feeling like myself.
Mm-hmm.
But when I started, started my acting school, this is where the language played a significant part. First of all, if you have an accent, you're not gonna get cast in most of the roles.
Yeah.
It's physically harder to do all the things that everyone else did. I was one of 2 non-native speakers in class, so I felt—
That's crazy.
Different.
That's crazy.
Yeah. And the other guy, he was Norwegian and his English was so good.
Basically a native speaker.
Yeah. He has more vowels than English, so for him, he just had to minimize his accent. Yeah. Right. And I had to work so hard.
Yeah.
Um, so I was like the special student in our speech classes, which was the first time I got exposed to something like that. Pronunciation classes.
Mm-hmm.
And everyone had to take it because they wanted to kind of like teach everyone class Classical American, or what is in different dialects. And people have different accents.
Yeah.
Clearly, even if they're all native speakers, it's like different accents. So it was un— like they taught them how to unify it with General American and Classical American and, and then dialects. And that's when everything changed for me because that's when I was like, oh, like this is such a huge part of the language learning and I've never thought about it. And because I wanted to become an actress, like I said to myself, okay, like this is something that I'm going to focus on. And I really invested myself into practicing pronunciation and trying to like understand all the things that I've noticed when I was 14, when I listened to Friends and Monica and Phoebe and Rachel. And I was like, oh, now I see why the pitch is so up and down.
Mm-hmm.
And like, and I don't do that. And the rhythm is different. And I've started implementing that. Years later, I was already, I moved back, I moved. Out of New York, moved back to Tel Aviv because I had to. My visa expired. I wanted to stay there for the rest of my life. I couldn't. And I started building this business and teaching. And, you know, this is what I've been doing for, for the past 18 years. I had a very different journey and I had the really the privilege of being in acting school and learning the things that I've learned. I do think that understanding pronunciation and how language is spoken is a critical part of speaking a language, and it's often overlooked. And it has— it builds fluency, it builds confidence, and it also has helped me build my grammar and vocabulary. It's not perfect, but it's like, you know, like because of— because of the repetitions, because I've used the language so much and I've learned it. And I— so this is an element that I would always recommend my students, and this is why I'm so passionate about teaching it. It's so simple, but it's also so hard to execute. But to actually speak a lot, if you wanna get better at speaking, you gotta do more speaking. If you are telling me that you get stuck a lot and you don't feel confident, I can already tell you that you're not speaking enough. Yeah. And you're not speaking in different situations. Yeah. Like, I don't need to hear your practice routine. I don't need, like, that is the thing. And consistency, because that is the second thing. Like, we wanna do something, but if we don't build the consistency, We think that we just need the right course or we need the right timing or we need to be ready for it or a reason for us. But like build consistency. And I've seen that being so successful with my students that if they just commit to 10 minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, mm-hmm, 10 minutes a day and do the work, doesn't matter what, like, but to, to be active about it 10 minutes a day and, and, and make it physical and to use the language, the results are outstanding, but people don't think that it's meaningful enough, so they don't do it. So I think this would be something that I would absolutely recommend.
Our next question comes from one of our students, Soraya, and this is a question about— she asked for strategies to boost creativity in general and in English. And I think that if you are— if you've been practicing English for a while, there gets to be a point where you feel in a rut, like you're stuck, and you, you need something Something new, something different to inspire you. And even if you don't think of yourself as a creative person, I think it's really just different ways, different strategies to, to practice. Um, you're a very creative person, I'm a very creative person, and I think creativity is something that we have all throughout, like in our programs and the content that we create. So I wanted to talk a little bit about some strategies for people that feel like they want a little bit more creativity in their English.
Also to spark their English practice and experience.
Yeah, to get inspired to something fresh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so actually, because you speak Spanish, German, Japanese—
I don't speak Japanese. A little bit. A little bit.
You do, you do.
You've studied those languages. I studied Japanese.
Clearly English, but that's Yeah, you know, um, and as a creative person, like, I want to ask you, what have you done or what ideas do you have? And then I can— I will for sure add things to it.
So I would say for me, and we talked about it a little bit, but really doing something that you like. So, and finding stuff that you like in your native language and your daily life and bringing it and just adding English to it. So I love humor. I love listening to comedy, to stand-up comedy, to podcasts about humor. So if I wanted to do that in another language that I'm learning, I would find that content in a different language. I, I would get so bored if I had to listen to a topic that doesn't inspire me in a different— in the target language I'm learning, because why? I mean, I just— it's sounds really boring. So I think that being able to connect something that I'm already— that already sparks creativity in me, like humor, and, um, and adding that in the language that I'm learning just makes it more joyful, more creative. Um, one thing I love to do is write, and I know that you did that as well when you were starting to like work on your English and you were—
Yeah, that had a massive impact.
Yeah, like journaling every day in English and really building that connection between Thinking deep thoughts.
Yeah.
In a different language. And the other day I was writing and I didn't even realize it, but I had written in Spanish. I was like, I got halfway down the page and I was like, oh, it's, it's easy. Like it's, it's, it's basic. If it's really, it's not, I mean, what's basic? Yeah. Okay.
A thought can be complex and yeah.
You know, but, but I did it and, and it was like, oh, this is so, um, natural. And I think that doing that, just building that connection between your brain and the paper is so strong. Um, so those are just some ways. But what are some things that come to your mind?
I, I come from theater, so for me, anything related to improv— and Soraya knows this because she's in our membership— but, uh, improv, acting, connecting emotion to the word, right? Like, and learning— because sometimes to sound like yourself or sound real or sound expressive is hard even in your first language. Yeah, right. So this is something that you, as an actor, you learn how to connect the emotion to the word in your first language, and then speaking a second language almost feels like you need to act in it to begin with, and you need to learn how to make it your own or how to sound like yourself. Um, so to me, that would— like, if you can find an acting class or an improv class In English, if you're studying English, that would— yeah, it's like, it's, it's really life-changing, I think.
And, but I would say also for people that are like, you would catch me dead before you would see me in an improv class because that seems so terrifying—
Taking notes what we're gonna do in our community meetup.
Yeah, but I do think that there are so many other ways to express your creativity and to find creativity, but I think that I am all about also finding pleasure and enjoyment and not making it feel laborious or heavy or like it's a lot of work. And for me, as soon as something feels like a lot of work, it's— I'm not going to continue enjoying to do it. So sometimes it's like you have to try something. If it doesn't feel right for you, don't keep doing it just because you— other people— it's working for other people, right? Like, even if you see other people doing a lot of something and it seems to be working for them, that doesn't mean that you have to do it. And don't think, oh, maybe something's wrong with me. No, I think that you find creativity when you find something that inspires you, and you just have to try many different things. And don't feel boxed in by what other people are doing or by what you think you should do. Let yourself be free. Like, creativity is when you just open your mind and let ideas come in.
Yeah.
And, and don't try to Fit into a box.
Right, and not necessarily to prepare and always know what you're about to say.
Yeah.
And I was like, I was just, I was just in New York with my family, and I met 2 of my close friends from when I had lived there 25 years ago. And we, we were sitting at this wine bar, and we had like a very deep, insightful intimate conversation about ourselves, about how we show up. Like, it was very unique. And I feel like that's creativity, like being able to talk about complex, personal, intimate things or, or philosophical things, because that was taking on like a philosophical, uh, uh, note where we started talking about human nature and like how people behave and, and, and Talking about how different people behave in different situations. And it was just, and the meaning of life. No, but it was like so many things that, that get you to not just operate on the here and now.
Mm-hmm.
And the practical things, but give yourself space to think and to speak and to develop a thought that you've never thought before on the spot in that language.
Yeah. Right.
Like, I think that's creativity.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So like get yourself into those situations with the right people.
Yeah.
In the right environment that allows you to do that because we live in such a life where everything's like, yeah, without judgment where you also feel free, where you feel like space.
Yeah. You have space to think.
Yeah. Yeah. And wine helps. Yeah. Disclaimer, you do not have to drink wine.
Must be over 18 to watch this episode. Um, okay. All right. So one of our followers on Instagram asked a really nice question. Mm-hmm. I really like it. It said, if someone trains their accent too much, mm-hmm, won't it become too polished like a robot? Mm-hmm. Or like robotic, unnatural? What do you think about that?
I don't know. There are a lot of big words here that I need, like the definition. Okay. That's a great question. And it really shows like there is an underlying belief. Of working on your accent will make you sound unnatural or artificial.
Mm-hmm.
Which is a very common belief that people have. Like, I don't wanna sound too, but like, yeah. So first of all, no one's gonna sound like anything that you like. If you don't wanna sound like something, you don't have to. First of all, it doesn't matter how much you try, you're not going to sound like that because there is a part in your brain that is not gonna let you do that.
Which could be if you have that thought.
If you have that thought, right? Like it, you will dial it down. You will deliberately not learn.
Mm-hmm.
So first of all, just to recognize that if you have that thought, You, you won't end up having the result that you so-called want or don't want, if that makes sense. But what I want to say is that it depends on how you train your pronunciation, right? Because when you say too much, I don't, I don't necessarily know what that means. I know what you mean. I think you mean like over-enunciating. Everything is really, really like careful and yeah, articulated. And I don't think it's a good thing because a big part, you know, like there are stages when I teach pronunciation, like there are stages, like the basic stages to first understand the difference between the sounds that you're making and the target sounds, then how to make them to sound clear. And that part is usually a little bit more artificial because you're changing anything that you're doing that is different is going to feel Artificial.
Yeah.
And then there is the part where it's kind of like you want to practice it a bit more, and this is where it can go into 2 different directions. One direction is overdoing it, right? Like over-enunciating everything and being fully in control. And I don't necessarily think it's a good thing because you are trying to be in control and you're putting in a lot of effort.
And you're, yeah, you're also being So you're getting so in your head about what you wanna say and how you say it.
Yeah.
That it does feel stiff. It does feel robotic because it's not, it's not natural because you're—
You're not safe. You're not feeling— yeah.
And no one really speaks like that normally. Like you, you don't want to think it should feel a little bit more free if, but if you're trying to control it so tightly.
Yeah.
That's when those sound like—
And it's a physical thing. Yeah. Right? Like it's a physical thing if you hold the tension to control the muscles.
Mm-hmm.
Because you are overworking it, right? Or you are overdoing it, or over— become— you become overaware, then yes, like the result is going to be that you're just going to be focused on this and not on being present and listening and calm. And, and the tension, tension brings tension.
Yeah.
So tension here gets tension in your voice, gets tension in your being. Mm-hmm. Right. And then you get stressed out and then you don't speak.
Yeah. But also I would say like about that robotic part, I do think that if you don't train prosody enough, you might feel And that's like, there is pronunciation, which is the sounds, but there's also the prosody, which is the melody. And, and prosody, I like to think about it like pronunciation as a science, prosody is an art. Like, you cannot predict prosody. There is not, as much as some people might want, there's not a rule book for a lot of prosody.
Right, there isn't. That's why it's so elusive.
That's why it can be.
That's why it's the art.
It's also free. Yeah, I mean, it's how you look at it, but if you're really leaning into the prosody, prosody, you're letting go and you are like bringing in versions of English, you know, prosody that appears in English and the rhythm and the connected speech and everything that also gives you the freedom to play around and find your voice and just be playful with it and not so rigid.
Yeah, exactly. And that is so, you know, when I said, okay, like when you get into like after you already know how to pronounce most of the sounds and then the next stage is either you overdo it and then that is where it feels like controlled.
Yeah.
And harsh and, and there's a lot of friction. Usually this is where I come in and either with prosody or, um, with teaching how to let go of tension, right? Like, so you got the form, now we need to let go of the tension. So actually it's quite counterintuitive. So like, actually now Don't put more control into it and don't overdo it. You can overpractice, but the practice should be about letting go of tension and creating more ease and smoothness between sounds.
Mm-hmm.
And incorporating prosody so that you don't need to stress words by using force or muscle or volume.
Yeah.
But you use length and use your voice, right? And then you learn how to let go, and this is where Where, I mean, I don't know what too polished is, right? Like, am I, do I sound too polished? Like, I don't know. I don't think I am. But, but when you have that ease to your speech, yeah, this is where you also show like it's easier for you because when there is tension, you don't show up. Yeah. Like you, you, you hide as well.
And also too polished comes from the fear of making mistakes. Sure. And when you're afraid of making mistakes, You're going to sound too tense. Mm-hmm. And so just leaning in, like by releasing, you give yourself permission to make mistakes and as a result, you're not gonna sound polished.
Yeah.
You're going to sound, you're gonna sound a, a little messy, but messy is human. Yeah. And that's what we want.
Yeah. Yeah. No one wants, like, don't overpractice. Practice in a way that creates ease and effortlessness.
Yeah.
And Let go of the fear of making mistakes because that's the one thing that is going to hold you back from sounding like yourself, from feeling natural, and from just enjoying speaking.
Okay, so now we have a pronunciation question from the audience, another pronunciation question, and that is about our beloved flap T. I love it. So Tom is asking, he says, I'm fighting with the pronunciation of flap T. I know it's not necessarily needed for non-natives, but I like it. And all the tips that I've heard and watched until now don't really solve my problem.
Mm-hmm.
Have you watched our tips? No.
But what is the problem? Okay, great question. I love the flap T. So for those of you who don't know what the flap T is, Kristina, explain the flap T.
So the flap T is an interesting phenomenon that happens in the T when it's not at the beginning of the word, but it's usually in the middle of it, in between unstressed syllables, the, the proper definition for it. And but usually you can see when it's between 2 vowels, right? So in a word like later, I am not saying later in American English, but later. So you hear that that T sounds a little bit different.
Um, and so, and even if it's between 2 words like get it or it is, you don't say it is, you say it is. Now people don't even notice it, even native speakers.
Even native speakers. Okay. Yeah. Completely.
Now, this, this is not a, a regular T as we perceive it, where the tongue goes up. So I want you to think of the T, right? Your tongue goes up to touch the upper palate. T, T, T. And then I also want you to think of the D. The tongue goes up, D, D, D, to touch the upper palate, right?
And while you're doing this, practice along so you feel it.
Right? Do it with me, Christina.
Tuh.
Very good, very good. Okay, so you have a little bit of voice when you say the D. The tongue is doing the same thing. Okay, so Christina, you speak Spanish. How do you pronounce the Spanish R?
The Spanish R is pronounced like a ra.
And there are two Rs, right? So the short R. So what happens in your tongue when you say it?
So it's like going up to the the roof of The mouth, not right behind the teeth, but kind of a little bit more in the middle.
So for people who have the trilled R, the RRRR, what's the difference between the RRRR and the RRRR?
It's like you're just doing it one time because the RRRR, if you hold it, your tongue is just going super fast.
Yeah, like vibrating there.
Going crazy.
So if you have that in your language, keep it, right? Like we want to start with that.
We just want to do it one time.
You can try it.
Did it work for you?
Throw it against the wall and see what sticks. So, okay, so this is like when you think of the R sound, that is the movement that we want, like this uncontrolled movement of the tongue versus T. Get it, get it, but get it. And it's easier to think of the D first.
Yeah, I would say get it. Yeah, to think you're saying a D sound and get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. Can sound like that.
And just like think like you don't Like you're half-assing it.
Mm-hmm.
Like you're barely pronouncing it. Get it, get it. Now, if the R visualization or thinking of the R helps you, that's the easiest. Get it, get it, get it. Right? But if not, just think of making a very, very light D and say it again and again and again. Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it. And then maybe say the word wedding, wedding, wedding. Say it with me.
Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding.
So when the D is between 2 vowels, In English, you say it really lightly and it's the same sound as the T.
Or the name Adam. Adam is the same. Adam is the same, actually the same pronunciation as atom, like A-T-O-M.
Right. Same pronunciation. And Adam, Adam and Eve, right?
Yeah.
Or riding.
Yeah. Riding a horse, riding a letter.
So it's the same. So what I would recommend is to start with just saying, get it, get it, get it. Think of it as a D. If you can't think of it as an R, capture that sound when you hear it. That ra ra ra ra ra sound. That is not like it's not a complicated sound. I'm not saying it from a condescending place. I'm saying you're using it without knowing. Most people use it without knowing because it's something that happens automatically when the D is between two vowels in a lot of languages. Yeah, definitely in English. And so you just want to make it not to control it, not to block the air and release. Get it, not get it, but get it.
And I would say one tip for this, if you've been practicing it, is to really practice it out loud in short phrases like, and to say it fast because when you're too focused on it, you might be making it heavier than it needs to be.
Exactly.
So you might be making it like get it, and it's It's too much effort and then you're not going to say it when you speak. So really repeating it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, or it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, just many times out loud can help loosen it up and flow a little bit easier.
This is such a good point because there are sounds that cannot be pronounced slowly.
Yeah.
Right. And reductions as well. Right. Like things or connected speech, like all of that, you have to put it together.
Yeah. When you slow it down, you can't.
You can't. And even when native speakers slow it down, they would pronounce the T.
Yeah.
Get it? Get it? Okay. All right, Christina, thank you so much, and thank you everyone for all your great questions. I know we haven't answered all of them.
Stay tuned.
Stay tuned. We have 110 more in potentially future episodes.
Yes.
Um, all right, anything else that you would like to add and share with our audience today? Just like a few words of motivation.
No, I just want to say thank you all for your questions and thanks for watching. And if you've been practicing for a while, I know that there are moments where it can feel discouraging and it can feel like, oh, if I could just have the perfect map and the perfect strategy and the perfect tools and the perfect advice. But you just, you just have to do it. And your journey is unique. It is different from Hadar's journey. It's different from anyone else's journey. And don't get discouraged if your way and, and And your experience hasn't looked the same because it's not supposed to.
That's a good point. Like, discover your way. Yeah. Get excited about discovering your way.
Yeah.
That hasn't been created yet. Mm-hmm. Hasn't been written. And you get to find that out.
That's how to practice your creativity. All right everyone, have a beautiful, beautiful rest of the day, and we'll see you next week in the next video. Bye. Bye.
More from Hadar
Read Out Loud with me! Dare to Lead by Brené Brown | Pronunciation & Vocabulary practice