Day 3: Overcoming Barriers

Foreign. Hey. Hey, everyone. I am so excited to have you here. This is day two three of the English Fluency Festival. How are you feeling today? Let me hear you. How are you doing? Let me know in the chat. We are broadcasting on the website, slash YouTube, unlisted and on Facebook. Say hi. Hello. We're all here and people are joining. So cool to see you today. Today is my favorite topic to talk about, so I'm super eager to get started and I hope you are, too. Amazing and exciting. Diana, you're feeling good. Celia is feeling great. Daniel is feeling enthusiastic. Who else? How are you feeling, Luis? Feels great, amazing and good. Okay, so let me get started. I think we have a lot to accomplish today, so I'm going to go ahead and share the slides. How's the connection? How's the video? How's the sound? Thumbs up if it's good. Super thrilled. Esteban is super thrilled. Fami is excited. Paola is excited, too. Amazing. Okay, so waiting for your thumbs up to tell me that video is okay. Connection is good. We're doing well. I turned off all the apps that take up all the bandwidth. Okay, good. So let's begin with, like, always. I mean, always meaning the past two days. Let's talk about takeaways. So last time yesterday, talking about a month ago yesterday, we talked about building pronunciation confidence. What is your big. And we talked about a lot of other things. Right. So I want you to share your biggest takeaway from day two. We're gonna do a quick recap in just a sec, but for now, I want to hear from you. What's your biggest takeaway from day two? We talked about pronunciation confidence, building habits. Okay, I'm gonna give you a few minutes. See, the video is not always stable, but I think you can hear me, so that's the most important thing. Okay? Connect words and function words. Right? Connect content words. I think you said content. Yeah. Content words and function words. Right. The difference between more important words and less important words. The hierarchy of words in a sentence. And Vin says repetition. Absolutely. Realizing I'm slightly obsessed with pronunciation. Okay, yeah, fair enough. That's a good takeaway. And you know, I can. That resonates with you. With me, Jacqueline, so I feel you. Repetition, repetition, repetition, repetition. With everything, it's repetition. Bianca, Blanca is saying sentence stress. Right? We talked about the words that we stress in a sentence and how important it is to deliver your message clearly. Repetition and intentional practice. Right? I want to point out this idea of intentional practice because it's so freaking important. It's not enough to eat. Repetition is key, Right? But then you definitely want to put it into practice and use it intentionally. Because it's not going to happen on its own, right? It will, but it will be a lot slower. We want fast results, Right? Never give up. This is definitely, you know, the topic for today as well. Repeat out loud. Good. Prosody, intonation, rhythm, volume. All the things that we talked about. Implementation. Exactly. This is why we have implementation workshops. Because I don't want you to just learn the things. I want you to implement the things. This is why we have the workbook. By the way, have you downloaded the workbook for day three? If you. If not, it's waiting for you in the email. And yes, implementation of everything that you learn. What else? It is all wait to get what I want. Right? Yumiko says. Exactly. I mean, at the end of the day, to get what you want, what you want in life and what you want from other people and what you want for yourself. Absolutely. And this is the purpose of what we're doing here. Learning how to identify and prioritize my learning needs. Fantastic. And we also talked about pronunciation needs. Good Practice, practice. And practice. Good, but intentional practice. Right? Smart practice. Smart practice. Very good. Sprints, exclamation point. This is my biggest takeaway. I love this. Okay, my friends, so. So let's continue with talking about today's winner. I mean, it's like the. The competition was yesterday, so the competition, it's. It's not a competition. It's a challenge where you share something from this training or from the. One of the workshops or your work with a workbook. You share it on Instagram and you share also your story in it. Like, you know, we. We see it through the pictures. So that's the idea. And every day we have a different raffle. And today's winner, who's going to win. No, wait. The winner. Wait, wait, wait. Just messed it up completely. Hold on. The winner of today is going to win 30 days and beyond. 30 days and beyond. Our English practice community. Okay, and the winner today is Sunda Ingres. He is a content creator and an English enthusiast. So congratulations. You are joining beyond for one month. This is a random raffle, so I select you. All of you shared so many incredible things. So for. There are some specific people who would probably get a gift from us at the end just for participation if they don't win the raffle for extra effort. But the daily challenge is just a random selection. So, Sunda, congratulations and welcome to beyond for one month. We're excited to have you. Okay, moving on. Tomorrow's prize is 30 minute coaching with our coach so you can get feedback and she, Christina is going to help you with your priorities. So 30 minutes, just about you and your pronunciation. If you need help with anything else, she will be able to support you with that as well. But it's really great to have this someone to help you with identifying your priorities, what to focus on and creating a good learning strategy for you. And just again, a reminder, it's not here, but a reminder of how you can participate in this challenge. Share a post on Instagram Fluency Festival. Tag me. Tag me. Follow my account Hadar Accentsway and and everyone who will post from now until an hour before the next training will enter the raffle. Okay, let's do a quick recap of everything that we talked about up until now. Day one. Day one. What did we talk about? Day one, we talked about strategy. Strategy, meaning the difference between the old way of learning English and the new way of learning English. The old way of learning English, overwhelm, mistakes are bad. And everything that we talked about led to the forming of the identity of the non native speaker. Confused, feeling like a victim, unable to express themselves, feeling constantly judged or insecure about communicating, feeling like there are all these things that are happening unfocused, no learning habits in place. Now, it's not a distinction, it's not black and white, it's a spectrum. And sometimes we feel a little bit like the non native speaker as we're moving into a new way to fluency into the identity of the new speaker of English. Let me quickly just change this, okay? The new speaker of English. And this is our desired identity. So someone who owns their journey, who's responsible for their choices, who is proud to speak, who's not afraid of making mistakes, who feels expressive, who puts things into practice immediately, who works smarter, not harder, and who has strong learning and speaking habits in place. The identity of the new speaker of English in day two, I gave you the method and the technique that you can use to implement a lot of the things we talked about, especially this idea of implementing things. And we talked about the technique of the pronunciation confidence method to help you bridge the gap, bridge the gap between the English that you know and that you're exposed to and the English that you speak and you use on a daily basis. Right. We also talked about the illusion of learning. And we don't want people to fall into the trap of the illusion of learning. Working, working, working, but not feeling any progress. Do you know, the hamster wheel, Right. Like the hamster that is on the wheel that, you know, keeps running but still staying stuck in place. Right. Just. Just releasing a lot of energy and not able to move forward. Sometimes we feel like that. And that's because we are trapped in the illusion of learning. And, and to avoid that, we want to build pronunciation confidence. Now, tonight, tomorrow, tonight, in a few hours, you're going to have an implementation workshop with Christina about putting the pronunciation confidence method into practice. So if you live in the US Then it might be a good time for you. It's going to be 6:00pm I think New York time. Okay. U.S. canada, Latin America. In the U.S. it's like, that's it. We only have the U.S. no, but like on the. The other side of the world. Okay, day three. This is today. Let's see. Okay, so today we are going to start working on your English from the inside out. So if the pronunciation confidence method was all about working from the outside in. Right, Because I said that we need that instead of just learning and then putting it into practice, we need to start using it. Training the body to build that muscle memory to get used to speaking, to get comfortable speaking. And it's like working from the outside in improving your pronunciation, grammar and vocabulary. But now we're going to talk about working from the inside out, but not in the traditional way, in a way that is usually not addressed. What does it mean? What is happening to us inside when we speak, think or listen to English? So we are essentially talking about the thoughts that go through our heads when we speak, think or listen to English. We're talking about the feelings that we feel. We're talking about the decision we make around English opportunities. If you say yes to speaking to someone, yes or no to a job opportunity, yes or no to a speaking opportunity, Right. This is what's happening inside around English. It's way beyond just like talking about grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation and listening and all of the other stuff, how we handle failure. Right. These are the things that happen inside that we need to talk about how our fluency is influenced by external circumstances. I hear a lot of people that tell me, you know, I feel really confident when I'm with my friends or when I'm speaking on my own. Someone even asked that question yesterday. When I'm on my way, when I'm on my own, I feel great. When I'm at work, I feel crap, right? So obviously it's not English. It's something else that affects English and we need to discuss it. The Expectations we have about our performance and achievements. What about our expectations? Too high, Too low? Do we even have expectations? And how does that affect our performance and our advancement? So all of that is mindset. Mindset is a set of beliefs about our abilities, intelligence and talents. The that shape how we interpret the interpret the world and ourselves. Ignore the the. This influences how we think, feel and behave in any given situation. Okay, again, a set of of beliefs about our ability, intelligence, abilities, intelligence and talents that shape how we interpret the ourselves and the world. This influences how we think, feel and behave in any given situation. So mindset is everything. And of course it's not just about English. But today we are going to talk about mindset in language. So I don't know if you know Carol Dweck. Carol Dweck is a psychologist that came up with this spectrum of fixed mindset and growth mindset. And deliberately I want to mention the fact that it's a spectrum. These are not two to ultimate mindsets that a person either has one like that a person has only one of them. So it's a spectrum that we all range on. And let's talk about the difference. A fixed mindset means believing that your talents and abilities are fixed traits that are innate and unchangeable. If you're not good at something, you'll never be good good at it. Growth mindset is means that you believe your intelligence and talents can develop over time with hard work, smart strategies and good mentoring from people. Let's go a little deeper. So fixed mindset, I'm just gonna give you more tangible examples means that your abilities are innate and unchangeable. So that means you're born with a certain set of talents and that's it. You can't expand it, you can't learn a new talent. If you're not talented in music, you will never be able to play the piano or sing a song, right? Like this is it is what it is. Like that's what what a fixed mindset is. It is what it is. There's nothing you can do really. Failure is permanent. So if you fail, that's it. You can't, you can't come out of it. Or at least it's really hard. Critical feedback is personal, right? If you get feedback, then you take it personally and usually in a negative way. Taking easier tasks and investing minimal effort because why bother anyway? If I work hard, it's not going to change anything because you know, I have a certain set of skills and that's it. An obstacle leads to giving up Usually with a fixed mindset. So if you come across a challenge, then usually it means that it's not worth it. You need to give it up. To give it up focuses on measurable accomplishments, right? So there is a goal and if you reach it, that's it. And if not, then there is no point in doing it. And less likely to take creative risks because you're going to be judged and people you know in any way, you're going to be criticized for something that you're not good at because you can't improve by doing it. So that's a fixed mindset. And again, we're talking about the extreme edges of the spectrum. A growth mindset means that your abilities is something that you can improve through practice. Failure is a chance to learn and pivot. Feedback is an opportunity to improve. Okay, all of these things instead of feedback is personal. Feedback is an opportunity to improve. That's a growth mindset approach. Taking more challenges and tasks and willing to work hard to improve. An obstacle is a chance to experiment. The focus is on the journey of continual improvement. So instead of measured results, we are actually looking at the journey rather the end result. And creative risks are a way to innovate and improve. Now, when we, when it comes to growth mindset, people with a growth mindset are constantly shifting their inner dialogue so they can achieve more success, live freely and capitalize on all the resources available to them, which is basically what you guys are doing right now. The fact that you're here means that you know it's possible to grow and that definitely indicates on a growth mindset, right? Because you know, if you were to think that your English, it's impossible to improve your English and you're, you're not talented and what's the point and why even bother, you wouldn't be here. So that definitely suggests that you are taking on like you have the mind, a growth mindset, right? However, I told you that it's a spectrum because can you think of situations where you still experience a fixed mindset on your day to day life when it comes to English? So we can have a growth mindset when it comes to the learning process, but sometimes we might have incidents when we would still approach them with a fixed mindset. For example, let's say that you're speaking to someone and you're not being understood. Okay, A person with a fixed mindset or a fixed mindset approach we'll call it, might immediately think, oh, that's because I have a thick accent, right? Oh, I said something wrong to Take it personally. Oh, they're going to think I have no idea what I'm talking about, seeing it as a failure. I better stick to writing, right? It's better. It's better to stick to writing. So these are some thoughts that can come up based on a fixed mindset. When encountering a certain situation, like not being understood with a growth mindset, the way you'd interpret that situation would be, okay, but I'm communicating with others, right? Maybe I'm not understood, but I'm still communicating with others. Or I'll check why I wasn't clear and work on that so it's easier next time. What can I learn from this? Maybe they need to improve their listening skills, right? Here's a thought. Instead of just taking ownership and responsibility for the communication, how about also thinking about the circumstances? So that would be two different approaches and two different interpretations of the same situation. Now, question is, when you encounter such a situation, do you think that you tend to lean towards a fixed mindset or a growth mindset when it comes to not being understood? Let me know. I'm going to wait because there is a slight delay. Drink my water. What do you think? It's literally me. The last one is growth mindset. Joanna says, definitely growth mindset. Never give up. Elle says fixed mindset, more fixed mindset. Right. And it doesn't have to be, you know, like exactly the same. But this idea of how you interpret that situation, you is what I want you to think about. Both. Maria is saying both. Yes. Sometimes it could be both. Right. Like a little bit of this, a little bit of that. Depends on who you're speaking to. Let's talk about making mistakes. Right? The previous one was not being understood. Fixed mindset would interpret the situation as, I've failed, I've made a mistake and I failed. I was quiet for three minutes in a row. They're going to think I'm not intelligent, right? Next time I'm not going to open my mouth before I know I'm perfect. Interpretations of a person with a fixed mindset or a fixed mindset in that situation. Because again, like I said, you could have a growth mindset around your English learning, but at the same time, you know, around specific situations, you might have a more fixed mindset because of reasons that we're going to talk about in a second. It's impossible for me to get over those mistakes, right? It's just impossible. I won't be able to learn. It's hard for me to learn. I will never be able to overcome this phase where I constantly make mistakes. Growth, mindset. At least I'm speaking, right? At least I'm speaking. So. So what if I made a mistake? It's an opportunity to learn, right? A mistake is an opportunity to learn. We keep talking about it here. I can joke about it and then break the ice, right? That's. That's a different approach. And people are interested in what I say, not how I say it, right? You made a mistake. You have a choice about how to approach that mistake. One is to think I failed. And two, to think, well, it doesn't matter because people are interested in what I have to say and not how I say it. Let's talk about not seeing improvements. And by the way, fixer growth. When it comes to. Let's go back here for a sec. When it comes to making mistakes, fixer growth, where do you position yourself? Joke about my mistakes. Good. I will erase the fixed mindset. Amazing. Growth. Good. Joanna is like you guys. I'm all about understanding what life is about. Growth, mindset. Okay. Sylvana says fixed somewhere in between. Okay. Growth. Great. Keep writing. I'm going to come back to it. And in the meantime, I'm continuing this. Okay? So not seeing improvement. You're in class, you're doing the work, you're practicing your English and you're not seeing improvement. With a fixed mindset, you might find yourself thinking, and again, this can be moments in time that you need to catch yourself when it happens. Why? Because the shift is immediate. The moment you catch yourself. Okay. The moment you catch yourself, that you have a fixed mindset approach. Right. Because you don't have a fixed mindset. You have a growth mindset because you are here and you're learning and you're doing the work. But the moment you feel that your approach is the approach of a fixed mindset, like thinking, I'm just not talented in language learning. Gosh. Right. I'm not seeing improvement. Blaming circumstances. Well, it's because there is no one to speak to or I don't live in an English speaking country, or my teacher was horrible, or I was, you know, I don't have enough money to buy courses. Blaming circumstances for not seeing improvements. Put me in the comments if you've ever done that. Blamed circumstances. Stopping anything related to learning. Right. A fixed mindset would be, I'm not seeing an improvement. That's it, I'm done. And then after a while, the growth mindset part in you is like, well, you got to go back to practicing, you know, comparing yourself to others. Okay. So another question. Have you ever scrolled on Instagram and saw fellow or Facebook and saw fellow new speakers, non native speakers of English share videos, speaking English and you were like, darn it, how come they're so good and I'm so bad, right? Comparing yourself to others, how come they speak like that and I'm still struggling, Darn it, you know, comparing yourself to others, seeing what they're achieving and thinking how you know you are not there yet. Fixed mindset. Yes, that resonates with you. Okay, Growth mindset. When you're not seeing an improvement. Okay, let's think about the things that I have improved in, right? What have I improved? It's impossible that I've worked so hard and I haven't seen any improvement. Because sometimes we're trying to see these big massive changes, right? And we don't pay attention to the small improvements. But let me tell you this. The small improvements is what matters. Incremental. There isn't like this, you know, small improvements every day. Like it doesn't feel like you don't feel the improvement, but all of a sudden you see the results. So sometimes you need to know what to look for and not to expect those big things, but instead look for the things that have worked for you. Growth mindset. Looking for different methods. Maybe the. Okay, it's not me, it's the method. It's not me, it's the teacher I've been studying with for a few years. Maybe I need to change my teacher. Taking responsibility and looking at what has served you right. Instead of blaming everything and blaming circumstances, instead you're saying, okay, no, it doesn't matter that I live in not. And I don't live in an English speaking country. I can still make it happen for myself. I'm smart, I'm creative, I know what to do. That's growth mindset. Instead of just like thinking, well, it's not going to happen because of circumstances, building strong habits, right? It will not happen unless I have strong learning habits, speaking habits in place. Okay, so. But don't speak English. Impossible for me. Okay? Anneli is saying stopping everything related to learning is impossible for me. I'm in PhD. Good, I hope you don't stop. But here's the thing. It's not about the actions necessarily that you take. Of course, ultimately it will affect the actions that you take. But sometimes, sometimes it's really just like the experience that you have that negative feeling because you feel like you should stop everything, right? Maybe you don't stop, but it's just that Moment where you're like, this thought comes across, it definitely does not serve you. Okay, good. Let's continue blaming circumstances. Yes. Okay, so here's the thing. Something about the fixed mindset. Those fixed mindset thoughts are usually rooted in deep beliefs that shape the way we see our reality. Gonna say it again? Those fixed mindset thoughts are usually rooted in deep beliefs that shape the way we see our reality. Because we said that generally speaking, you have a growth mindset, but every now and then you feel like you have those moments of discouragement, right? Like you're like, I can't do it, or you feel negative about your experience learning English. You keep persisting through, you know how important it is. You have a goal and. But how about we make this journey a lot more joyful, fun, and free, right? You're going to do it anyway, but you can do it in a. In a way that serves you. And when your mindset is always, you know, you always have that growth mindset and you have that internal freedom. Not only that, you will get there, but you will get there a lot faster. A lot faster. Okay, so. What is a limiting belief? We'll begin with identifying what a belief is. A belief is an acceptance that something exists or is true even without proof. For example, people who believe in God, right? We don't have proof. Proof yet. It's a belief. We believe it is true, right? It almost. It feels like a fact. I believe that people are kind in their nature. It's a belief, right? It's my belief, but I don't necessarily have proof that. That's the case for everyone. Now, a belief is a belief, but a limiting belief is a belief that has been limiting your true potential. So we could have positive beliefs about the world. I believe that people have a kind nature, but I could have a belief like people are mean and they're gonna try to harm you if you get closer or if you show vulnerable vulnerability. And that would be a limiting belief, because it will. Would be limiting my true potential. Okay, how to identify a limiting belief. Have you ever come across this concept of a limiting belief? Let me know. How to identify a limiting belief. A typical structure of a limiting belief. It feels like a fact or like a condition. I am this. It is hard. English is confusing. I am horrible in learning languages. Okay. Some nos, some yeses. Okay? Even if you've heard this concept before about limiting beliefs, I want you to do it with me. Because we keep discovering new things and limiting beliefs are sometimes so easy, so hard to trace. We don't Even it's. It feels like it's a part of us. And it's such a fact that we fail to notice that it's actually a limiting belief and not a reality. So, for example, could be like a fact, I'm bad in English, right? I'm just not good in English. I'm bad at grammar. My pronunciation is not good, right? Limiting belief. Because when you feel that you're bad in English, do you really think that your process is going to be joyful? That your brain is going to be receptive to learning new things, that you will be excited to communicate with other people when you think that your pronunciation sucks, right? Condition to receive respect from others. I have to sound like a Native. Is this true or is it a belief? You think it's a fact, but if you think it's a fact and it has been limiting your potential because it makes you feel like you are not good enough right now, you're not good enough because you don't sound like a Native and people will not respect you the same way, don't tell me that it has been serving you, because it hasn't. I've been doing this for. Since 2009, for many years. The first part of my work, I was obsessed with this concept of speak like a Native. I would do everything in my power to help my students sound like Natives. Nuances, all the speech elements, everything. Because that's how I was taught. Because I wanted to become an actress and I had to have a flawless standard American, otherwise people would recognize that I'm not a Native. Right? And of course, of course, I wanted to be a part of this exclusive club of people who sound like a Native. And I started developing this limiting belief that if people recognize that I don't have a native like accent. Remember I told you in the first day, on the first day that when I first started teaching, I started teaching in Hebrew because I was afraid that people would hear my. That I, I don't sound like a native, or would hear my accent and say to themselves, who does she think she is teaching pronunciation if she's not a native, right? So even though I get it, that people who sound like someone who has power, who is a standard American speaker, and of course, not every person who sounds like a native is someone that you might want to speak to sound like. Because native speakers have different sounds and there are several different, you know, it's kind of like there are different Englishes, variety of English. So when you say, when we think about sounding like a Native, Right. What does that mean, generally speaking, we think about standard English, right? The English that we hear on the news or in Hollywood or on YouTube. And we feel that if we want to be respected, we need to sound like that. And even people who are native speakers who don't have, who don't speak with a standard accent might want to sound like, you know, the people in power and to have that standard sound because of this, because of circumstances, because of discrimination. But also the circumstances have created this limiting belief that it would never be possible for you to get respect unless you sound a certain way. So while there are beliefs that are rooted in situations that you've seen around you, it doesn't mean that it's absolute fact. Right? And therefore it's a limiting belief because it's stopping you from being the free person that you're able to be. Another fact, I hear it a lot. English is exceptionally hard for Spanish speakers, Portuguese speakers, Mandarin speakers, German speakers, French. Oh no, for us it's exceptionally hard because of our language. And like it's totally different than English. I hear so many different speakers say that. Do you think it's productive and it helps you sound or acquire new sounds easily? No. Because when your brain is wired to think that it's not going to work for you and for you it's exceptionally hard, everything will be hard. It's a belief, it's a thought, thought pattern that has been, you know, you've been making these connections for so many years inside your brain that it's hard to change it. Only if you live in an English speaking country, you can become fluent condition. Well, no, it's a like if you cannot again, like all of these things are things that I've heard from many people throughout the years. Right. Can you think of someone who has never been to an English speaking country yet they are fluent or they sound great or they are confident and expressive? If that's the case for them, it's not a fact. If it's not a fact, it's a belief. If it's a belief and it's limiting your potential, it's a living, limiting belief. Now why do we have limiting beliefs? Let me go back to this checking comments. Okay, well, I just saw this comment and I'm going to select it for a sec. I'm 44 years old. Am I too old to learn? Edmundo, this is exactly an example of a limiting belief, right? And it's a very common one. I'm too old to learn. If you think that you're too old to learn, then you would not find the motivation or the capacity to do the work that is required of you to learn. Question, is it? Have you ever heard of people who started learning English at an older age? Maybe you need to research it a bit and have succeeded. If the answer is yes, and I'm sure there are. If the answer is yes, then it's not absolute truth, it's not a fact, and it's possible. It's possible. If you believe it's possible for you, your brain maybe is not as receptive as when you were three, okay? But still you're able to do it. So pay attention to these thoughts and ask yourself, wait a minute, is this. And I know this was a question, but this question is rooted in a belief that you have had and that you thought about because you're asking it, because in a way, you are afraid that this is the real, this is the reality for you. Okie dokie. Just reading some of those great comments. Okay, Natalia says my mom, my mom is 67 and she still doesn't give up learning English. Amazing. Where is your mom? Is she a part of this festival? Because I want to have her here. Example. If this is okay for Natalia's mom, she's able to do it, then you, at 44, you are able to do it. Unless you decide that you don't, that you're not able to do it. Now, with Mundo, I just used you as an example. Of course you believe that you can do it, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I know that. I'm just showing everyone here how to start detecting those beliefs. Okay, Just reading some of the comments you guys like, I love the chat here. I feel like I want to pause the video, read the chat and come back, but I'm not going to do it. Okay, why do we have limiting beliefs? Any thoughts, ideas? Why do we have limiting beliefs? Sometimes it's something that we learn from people we believe and trust that help us design our belief system and perception of reality. First suspect is our parents. Right? People we believe and trust. Right? And they help us design our perception of reality and interpretation of the world. So if you grow up in a home that told you, going back to my first example, people are going to take advantage of you. You know, just be careful. And you hear that all the time. Then you might grow up not trusting people. And you would have this feeling that, like, you can't really trust people. That is a limiting belief. And of course they're doing it because they want to keep you safe. Safe. Right. They want to. They want to make sure that nothing bad happens to you. Limiting beliefs are designed to keep you safe. But if it's not serving you, then maybe it's time to let go of those beliefs. If you make a lot of money, you're going to be pretentious, right? You're going to. You're going to. You're not going to be a part of us. If you make mistakes, people are going to laugh at you. For example, if you grew up in a house that your mother or father kept correcting your language in your native language, right? You felt that making mistakes is bad. If you grew up in a house that kept telling you, no, no, be quiet. You can't raise your voice. Shh, you're too loud. You would grow up thinking that you know you are too loud, you're taking up too much space, face that you are rude, or it's better. If you want people to love you, you need to be quiet. If you want to be respected, you need to be quiet or you need to not make mistakes. Now, these things may affect how we perceive the ling. The English language, for example. So if we're afraid of making mistakes in our own language, of course we're going to think that mistakes in English are bad. If your teacher is moving away from. From parents, friends, siblings, teachers. If your teacher told you in third grade that you're never going to succeed, right? And you respected that teacher, or she was the authority, or he was, then, you know, it's very easy for people to just take that belief and keep running with it until they decide to shift away from it, until they recognize that it has not served them. Another reason is past experience or trauma, right? Like that experience in school, for example. And again, I've heard so many stories of people of. I told this story before, but I always come back to it. When I just started teaching, I used to have a student. She was like a sweet woman, and she was studying for her master's degree, and she had to present in English. And until that point, she hasn't opened up her mouth. She hasn't opened up her mouth to speak English at all all her life, since fourth grade, nothing, right? And back then, there were no oral tests, so she would get a good grade just in reading and writing. And she would not speak. People would speak to her, speak to her in English, and she would respond in Hebrew. That's how we communicated. I would speak in Hebrew in English, and she would answer me back in English. And she was so good. She understood everything. She just wouldn't open her Mouth. And one day as we were like talking about experiences and teaching, I was like, yeah, you know, and she was telling it as if it was like a different story, not related to what she's experiencing right now. She's like, yeah, you know, my, my fourth grade teacher, when I was in fourth grade, my English teacher in fourth grade, I remember one day I stood up to speak and I said something and she started laughing like crazy. And the entire class started laughing because I made a mistake. I said something funny instead of what I intended to say. And everyone was laughing. And she said, no, you're not going to be able to speak. And. And from that moment on, she did not speak. She didn't need to. She didn't have to battle through it. And she like just developed this belief that she's just unable to speak. She wouldn't be able to do it. And if she speaks, and that's the hardest part, if she speaks and makes, if she makes a mistake, people are going to make fun of her. People are going to laugh. That experience was traumatic to her. So much so that she stopped speaking English and developed this deep fear of speaking. So past experience or trauma and social and cultural norms. So like I talked about, you know, being too loud or being too soft spoken. In some cultures, it's just impolite to speak at a certain tone or, you know, you have to speak softly to be respected. And as a result, you know, you might believe that in order for you to succeed in life, you have to speak softly. And speaking loudly is not going to serve you. So it's not your fault. It's the society we live in and our, you know, the way we're designed as human beings, which is beautiful because you, you know what, it's reversible, which I'm going to show you. Because a belief is a pattern that is formed inside your brain, right? And it's a connection in your brain that like you're like when you, when you think something or when you hear it again and again and again and again, it becomes a fact in your brain. Now your brain does not know how to distinguish between reality and illusion or non reality, like you know, what we talked about. And if you want to change that and to create a different belief, sometimes all you do is to create a new connection and guess how that is happening. Through repetition, right? Because you want to build new connections and you want to build new thinking habits, just like we talked about speaking habits. So now let's talk about how to overcome those limiting beliefs. But before that, going Back to, you know, this, the structure, the typical structure of a limiting belief. I want you to tell me what are some of your limiting beliefs? Write it down. In the chat. Write it down. Okay. I'm going to give you a minute, and I want you to do it. It's important to write down things, even if it's just for yourself, even if you don't feel comfortable sharing. Write it down. So you are processing the information. You're putting some thought into it. If you're doing other things, come back to it. This is important because as I said, changing your perspective, changing your mindset is something that is a lot easier. Well, it's not really easy, but if you're persistent, then it's. It's something that you can do quickly and make a huge impact on your experience speaking. It's the 20%. So, Yeah. Vanessa says, I had a bad teacher, a bad English teacher who mocked me. Right. And I hated the language for a while because. Because of the experience of using the language makes you feel bad. Why would you. Using. Why would you use it? Okay, so I see. Making mistakes. Good. It's a limiting belief. But I want you to go a little deeper. If I make mistakes, then what? What is the fear? Okay. Beautiful. I think I must know a lot of words to communicate fluently. That's definitely a limiting belief because then you think to yourself, okay, only when I have a lot of. When I have the knowledge of a lot of words, I will be able to communicate fluently. But let me tell you this. When it comes to basic communication, there is a very limited number of words that people use. And then you can expand it, but people basically communicate with not a lot of words. Yes, we need to have, like a pool of words to use, but it doesn't have to be vast. And even if it's limited, there are ways for you to express yourself. I know of a lot of people with a somewhat limited vocabulary that are super fluent and super expressive. Yeah. Linda says I'm too old to learn fast. Right. But instead, if we flip it around again, thinking of definitely a limiting belief, we have seen that people who, you know, in different ages have reached results. So it's not a fact. I'm too busy. Right. And I would say even more I'm too busy as a limiting belief. But I would say, actually, this is not the limiting belief. The limiting belief is that to improve in English, I need to have a lot of time available. I need to practice hours every day. That is the limiting belief that causes you to think that I'm too busy that therefore I can't do it. However, you know, I know of a lot of people who have improved. My students in New Sound there are. They are hard workers. But our system is designed to be very, very concise. Every day it's the 20%. So maybe it's just the strategy that you need. I'm good for nothing, Ram says, right? I'm good for nothing. I'm not worthy. Have you ever done something that helped other people? Are there people who appreciate you? Do you care about other people? I'm sure that you are meaningful for people in your life. Right. And also I'm not worthy goes into, you know, I don't. I'm not able to do things. I can't communicate well. And this is like there is a book called Love yourself like your life depends on it. So I started reading it. I read the first half. It's very powerful. The second half is just implementation. But if you feel like you find this self hatred or feeling like you're not worthy, there is definitely a question of self love. And do you position yourself and prioritize yourself over other things in your life? Do inve. Do you invest in yourself? Do you do kind things for yourself? Or do you find yourself doing things that you hate because you don't believe that you're worth it? I'm going to put a link to the book in the, in the. In the group. I'm a perfect. Deborah says I'm a perfectionist and I can't get get over it. I'm ashamed and I don't risk speaking in English. I read and write well, but I'm stuck to speak. First of all, Deborah, I want to say thank you for being vulnerable and sharing it. I know it's not easy. And yes, I'm a perfectionist means that you prioritize perfection over communication. That what other people think about you is more important than your self expression and your ability to speak and communicate effectively and freely. And other people's judgment of you is more important than the goals that you're going to achieve in life. Now when I put it like that it sounds really strange because of course other people's thoughts are not important than my own personal life. Right. But ultimately, Deborah, when we think about it, this is the priorities you have in life. Their opinions are more important than. Than what you achieve in life and your self expression. If that seems unreasonable to you, it's because it is. And you will have to do your best. Doesn't matter how much you practice. I see I see it, I see it. Okay. You will have to do your best. Sorry for the connection. Can you see me? You will have to do your best to shift that, those priorities because you can keep on learning and practicing and doing all the work, but if you don't shift it, then you will stay stuck in the non speaking part. Now I know you're going to shift it because you're here and I know you're going to shift it because you are aware of it and you're working on it. But I'm saying don't let time do the work. You do the work which means to start before you're ready to be uncomfortable and still do it. To feel the fear and do it anyway. That is the way to do it. And we're going to talk more about that in a second. Okay, thank you, Deborah. And I think that a lot of people feel the same thing. My mind goes blank when I start speaking in English. So Anna, this is the result and the belief. Let me explain. This is the result of you believing that you're unable to communicate, that your English is bad, that people are going to judge you if you make a mistake. So there, there might be some underlying beliefs and that create this anxiety and fear when you speak that lead to you blacking out. It might have happened in the past, which has led to another belief which is, well, now when I start speaking, my mind goes blank, right? And now it's a belief, now it's a fact. This is what happens. And this is a self fulfilling prophecy. Like you say that it's going to happen and it is going to happen because your brain is wired to do what you think. And if you think that you're going to go blank, you are going to go blank, right? It's because it's like you're anticipating it and it's going to happen. You know, it happens to me too sometimes. I'll tell you. Sometimes. A lot of times when I'm, you know, during lives or when I'm teaching my students and I speak and I have this train of thought and all of a sudden it gets disconnected. So it happens all the time, right? I think about something, I see a comment, I remember something else that I wanted to share, but then I kind of like go back exactly to where I wanted to. But sometimes when I'm distracted, what can happen is that I feel that I'm losing my train of thought. And because I'm not in a, you know, I feel maybe I'm too tired, I'm distracted, I feel Self conscious a little bit because it happens. And then what happens is sometimes I hear my voice in my head, you're going blank, you're going blank, you're going blank. I have no idea what I'm saying right now. And I keep talking because I'm well practiced in it. Right. And it actually happened to me yesterday. My husband walked in in the middle of the live. And as he was walking in, I was talking about something and then I'm thinking, he's distracting me. What am I talking about? What? You haven't noticed it, but I felt it right now if I go into the loop of I'm going blank, I'm going blank, I'm going to get stuck. So one of the ways that I manage it is to recognize that I'm going into a loop of I'm going blank and shift away from it and just think about the words that come out or what I just said. Okay. And then gradually I come out of it. So that's the idea. And when you think about it, it's more likely to happen. Okay, I'm reading comments. Yeah, Just like responding. You guys can keep writing some of the beliefs or if some. Somewhat. If you resonate with what other people said. Cynthia says every professional was once an amateur. Absolutely, absolutely. So, you know, if you want to get better at speaking, you got to get started with speaking. And you're not going to be good. You're not. This is also the problem of comparisons, my friends, because a lot of times you compare yourselves to people you admire or appreciate and you don't take into consideration their journey. You compare yourself to someone who is further down the road when you are just starting it. And then it feels so, you know, so far away from you. And you're comparing yourself as if you're supposed to be on the same level. You're not. And you're like, well, you know, it's not going to work or unless I sound like him or her, then I would be able to do it. Okay, so things to think about. Let's move on with where is it? Hold on, where is my clicker? So we talked about limiting beliefs, right? Like the structure of a limiting belief. Right? We talked about facts, talked about why we have limiting beliefs. Let me go back to now. How to overcome limiting beliefs. We talked about it, identifying. So like you noticed when I asked you those leading questions, do you have proof that it is true? So take your limiting belief if we haven't discussed it and ask yourself, do I have real proof that it is true? And One person telling you that you have a thick accent is not proof, okay? Or one person laughing at you because they, you know, they made fun of your accent does not mean that people will. Generally, people make fun of people who have thick accents. It's the minority, it's not the majority. It's not a fact. Is there a counter example you can think of? Are there situations where you spoke and people did not make fun of your accent? If we're thinking of the same situation, are there situations where you spoke, you made a mistake, you got stuck, and people did not think that you are unintelligent or that you don't know English and maybe they even appreciated you or your English or maybe it happened to other people. If you have a belief that unless you live in an English speaking country, you wouldn't be able to improve. Do you know of people who have lived in an English speaking country and vice versa? Do you know people who have lived in an English speaking country and haven't reach their goals? So it's not math, it's not just circumstances. And then like I said, you know, we learn these limiting beliefs based on, you know, we hear the people we admire and we trust. We develop our perspective of the world from these people. Where were you first exposed to this belief? T. Teachers, parents, friends, culture. What is this belief protecting you from? So I mentioned that at the beginning. What is it protecting you from? Right? So I think it was Sylvia, I think that was the name, who said, I'm afraid of speaking. I keep learning, but I don't have any speaking practice because I'm afraid. Afraid of making mistakes. I'm afraid of what. What is it protecting you from that belief? Ultimately? Fear. Fear is designed to keep you safe. Okay? And this is why we develop these limiting beliefs. Like the example I said at the beginning, you can't trust people. People, right. If someone taught you that, or you can trust people in your business, don't tell them how much money you make. I grew up listening to this. My dad was an entrepreneur at a shoe factory. And all my life, you know, and he had a bad experience with a certain partner. And I grew up learning that having business partners is bad. People will stab you in the back because of their experience. I grew up thinking that, right, you can't tell. You can't trust anyone in business. So for many years, I was a solopreneur, only doing everything on my own because that was the model of success, that was the model of business doing business. Because these are. This is the perception that I had in my home growing up now, it has also taught me a lot of things and to work hard and to, you know, to be my own boss. And all of these things were amazing for me. But I've also acquired a lot of limiting beliefs around running a business. Also that you have to work really hard to succeed. My dad used to wake up early in the morning, leave before dawn, and come back at night. And then he would be really tired for the rest of the night. And for a while I was led or I had that belief that, you know, to really work or to feel like you're working means that you have to be exhausted at the end of the day. That's a limiting belief. No one told me that. That I was exposed to it and, or, you know, going back to why Fear. Fear. Because they taught me, do not share things with people. You can't trust people. So it's designed to protect me from something. What is that something? Why are, you know, why was I exposed to this? Because of fear. Because fear is ultimately designed to keep you safe. Think about it. When, you know, when. When we just started our journey on this planet as humans, right? The. The mechanism of fear. Adrenaline rush, right? Heartbeats, the blood is rushing to your limbs so you can run fast. Your alert, right? The fight or flight mode. Freeze. Fight or flight is designed to help you deal with, you know, with the existential or not existential, but like real dangers. For other word, dangerous dangers. Like, no, you could be eaten by a bear. So this mechanism is designed to keep you safe. However, you know, this mechanism still exists in our primal brain. We still feel the same experience, the same fears, the same thing happens in our body. But in this case, the fear is. Is different. We're not afraid that we're going to die or be eaten or eat something bad. These are different fears. And a while back, I asked my beyond students, what is your biggest fear here in English, and here are some of the things that people shared. And if something resonates with you, put it in the chat. If this is something that you've been experiencing, some of the fears that, you know, those limiting beliefs are designed to protect us from are making mistakes. Speaking in public, right? Speaking in public because people are going to judge us. Not being understood, not understanding others. Saying the wrong thing. Does that resonate with you? Some of the fears, not knowing what to say, not using the right words, getting stuck, forgetting words. Confrontations in English. One of the fears now for looking at all of those things, looking stupid. Stupid. If we're looking at all of those fears, there is like this one, common ground to all of them, or maybe a few. One, the fear of being judged. Two, the fear of being rejected. And three, fear of being rejected or abandoned. Right? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to be your friend. You're not good enough for me. And the fear of inadequacy, of the fear of not being good enough, the imposter syndrome, I talk about it often. So all of these things, these are more specific situations, they all go back into the root cause, the root fear of either not being good enough or being rejected, being abandoned or being judged. Right. Losing something. Why am I going through all of this? Because I want you to identify the fear and ask yourself, is this going to kill me? The answer is no. Am I going to die? Am I in danger? Physical, physical danger if I make a mistake, if I speak in public, if someone does not understand me, generally speaking, the answer would be no. And if that's the case, right. Is this belief really serving you and keeping you safe? Or is it holding you back and limiting your true potential? And isn't it time that you step into your full potential In English? And if you want to do that, what you have to do is first of all do all the process. Because awareness is key. Awareness is everything. And what we've done now is to go a little deeper and to understand the root of that problem. So just to lead you again to how we think about it, when we approach language, we have fixed and growth mindset. We want to always have the growth mindset approach, but sometimes we are held back by still having the fixed mindset approach. And when that happens, it's usually rooted in, you know, we're going a little deeper. It's usually rooted in some limiting beliefs that you might have about you and your abilities, you know, limiting beliefs that you have acquired throughout your life. And those limiting beliefs are rooted in this deep fear that you are going to be in danger or something bad is going to happen. If you're going to do that or you're going to do that, something. But when we look at it like that and when we go into that deep fear and will people really reject me? Is this really going to affect my life if people judge me? Are other people's opinions more important than my self expression? And when you ask yourself these questions, you realize that the answer is no. And of course you should have a strong, solid, clear, specific goal and target of what you want to achieve, because you Always put that and we're going to do it in the workbook. You always put that in comparison to all the rest, the fear of being judged, okay, people are going to have opinions about you and your English. Is that more important than, you know, getting that job as a teacher or being on TV speaking in English or running for presidency, whatever that is for you? Okay? So you always need to compare that. And when the question is, which one's more important to you? So going to be very clear what will be. And it means that you're going to have to do things and they're going to be uncomfortable. Ways to overcome a limiting belief is to reframe a belief. And repetition is key. What is reframing? And because what fires together, wires together, repetition, repetition, repetition. So, for example, I'm going to. Let me move this. Reframing a belief is thinking of a positive way to think about what just happened to you. So it is also the shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. But it's something, for example, if you make a mistake, then you're saying to yourself, it's an opportunity to learn. You're reframing the situation. And then another thing that you can do is to create a powerful affirmation for yourself that you keep repeating again and again and again. So one, to reframe that situation, what is something positive that I can see. See in this situation? Right. Two, you should have this powerful affirmation. I can do anything. I'm constantly learning. People are interested in what I have to say. I want to make an impact in this world. And by the way, I have a list of affirmations that I've added to the workbook. So you can download it and take one and put it on your window or, or your refrigerator and look at it and read it every day and repeat it again and again and again and wire together a new belief and a new thought that would serve you instead of all of those that don't serve you. Okay? Because what fires together, wires together. So instead of having negative self talk, not gonna make. People are gonna make fun of me. I can't speak, I go blank. All of these things. Instead, say to yourself, I'm so expressive. I can, I can talk to forever. Words come easily to me, right? For you, that said that you go blank. What if you change it to, I'm an excellent communicator and words come easily to me. And let me tell you this, there was a time where I felt a block, a writer's block, and I write all the time. I write for my programs and I write scripts and I write copy and I write my newsletter. And there was a time that was really hard for me to write. It would take me a full day to write the weekly newsletter. Not very productive, right? And I would hate it. And I actually started using this affirmation of words come easily to me. Writing comes easily to me. And every time I would get stuck and get into that loop of, see, again, you're stuck. You know, you're, now you're going to waste an entire day writing this newsletter. I would read it the previous day and I would be like, I'm going to keep, I'm going to save five hours for this, right? I would anticipate me not succeeding, not scheduling something for five hours, because I knew it's not going to work for me until I started limiting my time, saying, okay, you only have 45 minutes. And I started thinking, writing comes easily to me. I'm a good writer. I always write. It's easy peasy. I can't stop writing. And I'm not going to tell you that it changed immediately, but it definitely made me more focused and helped me get through it in a much better way. And yes, ultimately, right. That blockage is just like I, I, I release that block. Okay? Remember that confidence. I just released a video about it. Confidence is a skill, and it's a skill that you can build and develop. Now let me ask you this. So, like, all of those things, all of those things that we're afraid of can be resolved with confidence if you do it anyway, it requires confidence. So confidence is a skill that you can develop, but you can also, you know, do things that prevent you from gaining that confidence. What are the things you can do to build your confidence? Right. And to overcome those limitations? Let me know in the chat. No, no, no, no, no. I see. In the chat, words will come easily to me. Drop the will. Drop the will. Because when you say will, it means that it's not right now. It will when something happens. It's the opposite of what we're trying to do. You're creating a new belief that is now current. So make sure to put it in the present tense. Not will come, they come now. Because if you're trying to get past the fear of getting blank when you're speaking, and you say to yourself, words will come easily to me one day, then you're still struggling with communicating now. Great. Okay, so Ram says, yoga, meditation, do what you fear, right? Face the fear by doing it. If you're afraid of heights. Just, just, you know, go to the Eiffel Tower. I'm going more practice. Great. And practice the things that are scary. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. To be strong, Maria, try to be specific. Because again, like I don't want you to have a limiting belief that you are weak. And to be able to overcome it, you need to be strong. It's okay. We can be weak and we can be vulnerable. Right? But what it like, what else can you do to be confident and still in your own skin? Affirmations. Good saying. I love speaking English. Okay. Words come easily. Good. Enjoy the process. Good. You guys read the comments. These are really, really good. Okie dokie. Let's continue. What are the things that you do, you currently do that weaken your confidence? So what are the things that you do or choose not to do that at the moment currently weaken your confidence? Tell me. So it could be things like, you know, saying no when people ask you to practice with them because you're afraid, or what else? Not applying for a job even though you know you can do it because you think your English is not good enough. Not just English you think you're not good at, you are not gonna, you're, you are not good enough. Focusing on things that are easy for you, that you are already confident in, it just like creates more confidence in that area, but it doesn't help you with confidence in other things. Afraid of making mistakes, right? Get nervous. When I have to speak, that's the result. But Paola, if you still speak, you know, even though you're nervous, that's exactly what you need to do. It actually helps build the confidence. Overthinking. Yo, God. Oh God. Wait, I need to wait. Where is that overthinking? Whoever said that overthinking? Will that weaken your confidence? Heck yes. I want to do the. Wait, should I do it or should I not? Right? Like should I say this or should I not? Right. Like what's the right way to say it? Is this a good idea or not? Right. Maybe I should, maybe I should try overthinking. Should I study now or later? And if later, what should I do today? Overthinking. Who's to blame in overthinking? Put me in the comments if you are okay, pay attention my friends. If you are doing other things, come back to it because we're going to talk about transformation makers right now. Transformation makers. Some would be obvious to you. But listen, the non native speaker, remember we talked about those two identities, usually says I will. I was dealt a Bad hand, which means I didn't get good cards in the game, which means it's just circumstances. I cannot succeed because of my circumstances. The language I speak, the place I grew up in, the place I live in right now, the job I work, my teacher in school, my friends, my family, you know, the, the, the, the learning methods that I've used, my ability to learn. I was dealt a bad hand. The new speaker would say, I'm fully responsible for the results I see in my life. Okay, now which of them are you or who do you want to be? The new speaker or the non native speaker? Are you in risk? Are you responsible? I'm going to bring it back. Are you responsible for the results you see in your life? And if you haven't been that type of person, are you ready to be that type of person? Now. Vin says I was dealt a bad hand. Isn't it easier though to have been born in the, in the language? Right, right. But this is exactly you thinking that you were dealt a bad hand, yet you speak two different languages. Right. Or more. And thinking that the fact that you weren't born into an English speaking country or into English is a bad hand. But you can choose to say, you know, it's not a bad hand. I'm, I'm. Think of what you're achieving from the process of learning to get to where you need to be now, in the process of doing what you're doing right now. Think of the person it makes you become. You know, being sensitive to people's experiences, to know what it's like to go through, to not get everything on a silver platter. People who immigrate, they struggle so much and it's so hard, but at the same time it makes them who they are. Yes, you were dealt a bad hand. You might think that. Yes, you might think that you were dealt a bad hand, but let's reframe that. You know, you were born exactly to what you needed to be born to have the experiences you had to be the person you are today. So that's the thing. And I know you know that the new speaker, now. Who do you want to be? So there are two type of types of people. The people who wait for the things they want to be able to achieve what they want. So for example, type A, they non native speaker would say, I want to speak in public, but I'll wait until I'm ready. The old identity, right? And then it leads to a situation where you're not speaking and you're waiting to be ready and Then maybe you're declining an offer to speak. Let me put it like this. And then you're waiting even more, and the reality is still not speaking. So when you're operating from a place of I need to wait until something happens for me to have the things I want to have in life and to be the person I want to be. Right. Then you're gonna get. You're gonna stay stuck, my friend. However, stepping into the identity of the new speaker. Who do I need to be to have the things that I want to have? So a mindset shift, different perspective, a different approach to things. I want to speak in public. What would a person who speaks confidently in public do? You. So instead of asking, what would I do if I want to speak in public? I feel not ready, limitations, fear. I'm going to wait until I get better. Right. A person who is designing their own journey and takes responsibility over their choices would say, okay, let's imagine that person that I want to become. A person who confidently delivers lectures in English or speaks in front of a group of 10 people. That's what I want to do. So I need to put myself in the shoes of that person of the end result, in a way, and ask, what would a person who speaks confident, confidently in public do? The answer is, find an opportunity to speak. Speak in public. Right. Which would lead to a result of this person speaking, speaking in public. I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say that there is no fear involved, that there is no, you know, awkwardness sometimes not being ready and still doing it. But if I put myself in the shoes of the person I want to become, and I become that person, and I become that person, I would do the things that that person does, and the things that I do would get me to do the things and I want to do. I hope it's not too complicated. Well, this explains it. Speak in public. Gain practice and confidence. Speak more in public. So if we compare the two approaches, the approach of, I'm going to wait until I have what I want to have. The the end result is, I'm stuck. I'm still going to have nothing or not the things that I want versus who is the person that does the things I want to do and what would they do? And then you do those things, and then you get different results. So it's all about changing your approach and having a different mindset around that. Who is the person you need to be and what are the things this person does? Ask yourself these questions. To have the things that you want? Who is the person you need to be? What are the things this person does? And I want you to ask yourself these questions. Who would I be? What would I do? And how would I feel if English weren't an obstacle? Let's say you are. After your long journey with me, with the community, with yourself, you've gone through this amazing journey and that's it. Boom. English is no longer a challenge. How would you feel? What would you do? Who would you be and what would that person do when you're at the end of the road? Right? What would that person do? Ask yourself these questions and do the things that this person would do. So, for example, if you apply for a job, I always go back to jobs because this is something that people really struggle with. But let's say you apply for you, you have a job that you really want and you say to yourself, I'm not, I'm not ready for it yet. Right? What if you were ready? What if you thought about yourself as someone who is super qualified to do this job? Would you apply? If the answer is yes, then do it anyway. What's the worst thing that could happen? You get declined, yet gain experience going to job interviews or doing things that scare you, Feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It's a skill in and of itself, right? Do more of that if you want to change. Now, I'm not going to deny that there are external circumstances like discrimination. You might have experienced discrimination. I have many students who worked in call centers, for example, and would answer the phone and they've been living in the US for 20 years. Answer the phone and the people on the other line would say, can I talk to someone who speaks English because they had a non standard American accent, right? Discrimination exists. Microaggression. Oh, where are you from? Oh, where's your accent from? You sound so cute. You sound so this, you sound so that, right? All of these things that you constantly hear. What was that? Not hearing you, giving you this feeling like you're not part of. You don't belong. There was something different about you. So it's not overt discrimination. It's like this mini discriminate, microaggression, mini discrimination that you experience appearance on a daily basis. I'm not going to say that it doesn't exist, but you cannot change that. You can speak back. Yes, you can. You know, put them on the spot and say, hey, notice what you're doing right now. I don't appreciate this or send you around or just ignore. So there are things you can do. But you cannot change the world. The only thing that you have power over is you and your thoughts and your feelings to improve your experience in this world. And this is why, even though it's their responsibility and we need to change society and we need to change how people listen to people who don't have a standard accent. And we need to normalize different voices and different sounds. Yes, that's another job that it's our, you know, that is important for us to do. And one of the ways to do it is to gain more power as new speakers, is to be in the front more, is to speak up, is to make videos, is to open businesses in English, normalize, you know, different sounds, different voices, different accents. That is the only way. The only way. And your own personal experience and judgment, of course, in your own personal experience can only be changed through mindset and your thoughts. Okay, let me, let me just a little bigger. Because your mindset and your thoughts is how you approach the world and how you spend time with yourself ultimately. And you are in charge of your thoughts and you are in charge of your mindset. You know, it's not designed like you can. It's not innate, it's not a result of circum. It is a result of circumstances. But you have power over it. So your thoughts, remember that your thoughts change how you feel and your motivation, right, Your thoughts is the root of motivation. Because if you feel, if you think that you're not going to be able to succeed in English, it's going to make you feel depressed and down and not motivated, right? And then that feeling leads to the action you take or don't take. So when you feel not motivated and depressed and defeated, you're not going to go outside to the world and say, who wants to speak with me? Who wants to, you know, who wants me to teach them? It's just not going to happen. So of your thoughts and your approach and your attitude towards the world affects your feelings and your motivation in English in life. And that affects the action that you take or don't take, right? I'm going to have a glass of wine. I'm not going to have a glass of wine. I'm going to work out every day. I'm not going to work out every day. I'm going to practice English every day. I'm not going to practice English every day because what's the point, right? And then that leads to the results you see in your life going back to the person who, you know, decided to wait and then still not Speak in public versus the person who said, no, I can change that. And that, that creates energy and motivation. When you think, of course it's possible for me, right? Fear, yet excitement. And that leads to taking action, a certain type of action that leads to different results. So your thoughts, your thoughts, everything that goes in your head and your mindset lead to the results you see in your life. And this is why when we said that the new speaker is responsible for their, for their choices and their journey, this is why. And you, my friend, you are the new speaker of English. And now you know that if you want to change the results you see in your life, you definitely need to start with how you think and feel about the way you speak English, the way you listen to English and the way you use English. Okay, my friends, if you want to take it a little deeper, please, please download the workbook. There are a few more questions that will help you, that will help guide you. And remember, implementation is everything. When you put it into writing it, it's going to help you process this information. And you're not just passively consuming it, but you're actively putting it into practice, which means that you are going to get results. If you want to see results, do the work, be open about it. Okay? And now it's time for questions. How are you feeling? Tell me in the comments, how are you feeling? Already printed. Amazing workbook, Celia. Thank you. Good. At least I can understand 50%. I love that. At least I can understand 50% instead of focusing on not understanding half of what I'm saying or, well, at least I'm understanding 50%. Energy goes where your attention goes. Energy flows where your attention goes. So if your attention goes into what you don't understand, you're going to like, this is the energy that you're going to have, you know? And when you focus on what you do understand, think of the difference it's going to make in your energy. And your energy affects the things that you do and the action you take and the results you see in your life. Chan is asking, do I need to submit it? No, the workbook is just for you. It's just for you. If you want, you can share it in the Facebook group, but we are not going to check your workbooks. But we are more than happy for you to share it in the group. And then the community and the mentors in the group are going to check it out. You can also just share your biggest insights. We're going to invite you to do that anyway. Plus, there is the implementation workshop with Yelena. And we're moving it to Saturday. By the way, there was supposed to be an implementation workshop about this training. Not the one that is tonight, but the one that was supposed to be tomorrow. We're going to change it. I think we've already changed it. We're moving it to Saturday. Yelena is not feeling well, and it's an opportunity to do an implementation workshop about this training and tomorrow's training. Okay. Refrained, refreshed and rejuvenated. Ah, I love that. Reframed, refreshed, and rejuvenated. It's like a good tongue twister. Amazing. Good. Amazing. Great. I love the alliteration. So catchy. I understand 20%. Good. Some people can't understand 10%. And I understand 20%. Amazing. You're positive, motivated, and confident. Okay, great. So Vika collected some questions for me. I'm going to answer questions. And if you have more questions for us, please, please write it in the comments and Vika will share it with me. Luis is saying. Wait. Luis is asking. How to change our mindset to stay consistent under any circumstances. I've been learning English for a long time, but I don't feel like I've made such. Made much progress. So I guess it has to do with a lot of things. Least one is definitely the mindset part. And I think that, you know, I've made. I, I don't feel like I've made. Made much progress. I would say, okay, what progress have you made? First of all, let's start with that. Let's start with it's not just like, look at the glass half full, but in a way it is, right? Like, let's try to see your experience as something that was positive and good so you don't start associating your, you know, lack of results to the work that you put in. So how to change our mindset to stay consistent. I think here it's not about the mindset about staying consistent. It's about asking yourself three things. One is, are you in integrity with yourself? Do you keep a promise to yourself or not? Because if you say that you're going to do something and you're not doing it right, and at the same time, I think I mentioned it previous, like two days ago, at the same time, if you make a promise to someone else, even a stranger, and you're like, no, I feel like I have to keep a promise because I said I'm going to do it, then they are more important than you. Right? So it's like a question that you Want to ask yourself, why is it that this is not important enough for you? Why is it that it's not important enough for you to say what you're going to change, to do what you're gonna say, to do what you say you're gonna do? Right? So this is the first thing that you wanna pay attention to. The second thing is make sure that you have habits in place. This is technical, right? It's like the mindset is around. I need to have. I have good habits. I need to have good habits. And we're gonna talk more about habits tomorrow, okay? How to build good learning and speaking habits. But it's just like, also, you need to have the infrastructure to put in the work. Now you're saying I can't stay consistent. And I haven't seen much result, much progress. Of course, because you haven't been consistent. If you haven't been consistent, you wouldn't be seeing, you know, a lot of improvement if you're not consistent. So you got to be consistent to see an improvement. It's like, it's. It's math, right? So the question is, how do I become consistent so I can see the results that I want to see? And the last thing, and I said that at the beginning, I'm just reiterating it, you know, focus on the things that you have achieved and that are working for you and show some appreciation to the language that you already speak and to the journey that you've taken up until today, because don't undermind it. And the fact that you're here, communicating, even writing this clearly to me, means that you have done a lot of work and you have achieved a lot of things. So maybe you haven't breaking through, but let me tell you this. A lot of times the change happens underneath the ground, right? Like when there is a flower that blooms in the spring and then wilts in the winter. When you can't see the flower above ground, it doesn't mean that there are no roots anymore. The roots are growing and getting stronger so that when spring comes, the flower can bloom again, but it's not starting to bloom. It's all the work that happened throughout the winter that allows it to bloom instantaneously, right? All of a sudden it's ready, but it's not ready just because it was ready just because it started. No, there was history behind it. Things that were below the surface. So sometimes when we're learning and trying to progress, we are not aware that a lot of the things that we do are below the surface. And Then all of a sudden, there's going to be a breakthrough, we're gonna bloom. And we'd be like, oh, that. Now I see it. Here is the breakthrough. But it's not the breakthrough now. The breakthrough is this and all your past work. I have a podcast episode about the compound effect. We're going to link to it as well. It's how small choices that you make daily or small actions that you take daily, they lead to massive results. But you don't see it immediately. You only see it in hindsight. Only in hindsight, you're able to see it. So sometimes when you're in the middle of the process, when we're consistent, we're unable to see the progress. So this is why it's always good to compare yourself. Not to one month ago, not to two months ago. Again, if you're consistent and you're doing the work, but to two years ago. Are you able to do things now that you weren't able to do a year ago or two years ago? If the answer is yes, then you have made progress. And if you want to see more progress, keep a promise to yourself and stay consistent. Build strong habits. How long do I need to practice daily to practice speaking? Like I said, and I think I mentioned it before, I don't want to put a time limit or, you know, like a. To say you have to speak for 1500 minutes to become fluent. I don't believe in that. I think that you need to find what's working for you. I think it's better to work with what you have and do your best. Gonna sit? I think it's best to work and do your best with what you have. So if you only have 15 minutes a day, like, you know, because whatever I'm gonna say, it might be good for you and bad for someone else. And then they would think, oh, so I need to practice X amount of minutes. It's too much. It's too little. You have your own experience. You know best. You know how much time you have. I'm a fan of not overdoing it. Okay? So for me, in my opinion, don't go over an hour or two hours a day. That would be too much. And I'm saying that for some of you, they're like two hours. I can't even do 15 minutes. But I know of a lot of people that spend hours and hours every day, and they get burnt out really quickly. That's it. Now I'm. I'm sat. They get burnt out really quickly and then they quit. So it's not, it's not ideal too. Right? So think of, look at your schedule, decide how much time you actually have, and use the Fluency wheel and the pronunciation confidence method to start structuring your practice. And we're going to talk more about creating your success journey tomorrow. If I'm not exposed to the community that communicates in English, how could I start to practice? So as first of all, we have the influencing community on Facebook. It's absolutely free and you can gain a lot of speaking time, practice. We have weekly videos, we have conversation groups, and we have the same thing here in the Fluency Festival. And you have a lot of platforms of people who are just seeking to practice with other people. So just use Google and look for these places because there are plenty of them because you're not alone in this situation. And you'll be surprised how many people are in the same boat as you. What about mispronunciations? I feel sad when I speak, but the person who doesn't speak who. But the person who I speak to doesn't understand what I say and get lost. I hesitate a lot before speaking because of pronunciation. What can I do to change it? So first of all, this is a good question. I mean, on one hand, focus on the fact that you're speaking and when you don't interpret their reaction as they're lost or I'm wasting their time or they don't want to speak with me, even though that might be a legit experience, if you've experienced it once with someone who wasn't patient, who gave you this feeling, again, I'm not going to say that that doesn't exist, but try to not impose this perception and instead try to think if, you know, maybe they're like they're really wanting to communicate with you and to understand you and at the same time, be proactive. Go back to what we talked about yesterday. Figure out the sounds that make you sound unclear and prevent you from communicating clearly. And follow this, the method that I shared with you to be able to work on that, right? And if you want to go a little deeper, I definitely can help. And I will tell you at the end of this event how it can help you even more. If you want to continue with me and if you want to go deeper and if you want me to hold you by the hand and take you through this outline and through this journey. But I have given you enough to be able to understand what it is that you need and to do it on your own. So it's A great question because it's both about mindset and interpretation of situations, but it's also about okay, but you can't just sit and imagine, like, know everything is great. You also have to be proactive. And this is why we shared in the previous two days our strategies. I understand almost everything when I listen, but I still feel stuck while speaking. What should I do? Speak more. Speak more. Speak more. And try to identify where you get stuck. Is it because of a grammar challenge? Go practice that challenge, that tense, that you know, condition. Is it because you're losing words? I shared with you yesterday the system that can help you, but speak more so you can get stuck and then recognize the things that you need to work on. Gloria, same thing. I can understand 85%, but I don't know why I cannot speak. Well, because you're not speaking enough. Without knowing how much you speak, I can tell you you're not speaking enough. Right? And if you think you are, you're probably not, because maybe you're usually listening because you're afraid to speak. So even if you engage yourself in conversations, you're probably the listener more than the speaker. So being an active listener doesn't help you speak better. Speak more. What do my fears keep me from? Your goals, the person you want to be, achieving the things that you want to achieve in life. You're the one to tell me what they keep you from. But I think you know. And if you know, we were talking about what I talked about, what does it keep me from? It keeps you from getting hurt, from feeling like a failure, from judgment, from criticism. So that fear, don't do this, don't do that. Is keeping you away from this in your head, it's danger. In real life, it's life. It's experience. It's how you get things done by being criticized, being judged, and all of that. You know, when I opened my YouTube channel, this was one of the biggest fears that I had, what people are going to say. And, you know, I talk a lot about it, but, like, at first I remember that I would really speak like a robot because I was so careful about how I speak, because I did not want to make mistakes, because I did not want people to write in the comments. Who does she think she is? Now? I don't care about it. Now I love it when I get criticism because I like to answer back or just to ignore or just make fun of this comment because it doesn't hit me in a place that is a place of fear. And it hit me and hits Me in the place of power. But I had to go through a very long journey from five years ago till today to be in this place. But it's constant work committed to the person that I want to be. I did not want to be a person who is fearful and not doing things because of the fear of criticism. And I had to make a conscious choice that, you know, I block it. I block that moment where I, you know, I want to go into this victim mentality and saying, poor me. Why is she saying things? I literally remember such a horrible experience. I made this really cute video about, I think five words you mispronounce or something. It was edited really well and there was a typo. I think I wrote American without the E or something like that. And I posted it on YouTube and it has gotten great responses and became really viral. And then I shared it in a group of English teachers here in Israel. And I was like, I wanted to share it with them because I wanted them to share it with their students. And of course I wanted to get more views and all of that. And I shared it in the group and God, I need to come back to this group and see if this post is still there to show you the comments that I've received mean negative comments. Well, first spell correctly and then tell me how to pronounce it. Or actually the word salmon does have an L in it, right? Because I said there is no L because I was talking about the pronunciation, but I did not say the L sound. And a lot of other negative comments and someone even commented, oh my God, we're like really nitpicky here, right? And I felt so embarrassed. Now, on one hand I wanted to delete this video, but then on the other hand I felt like if I delete this video, that would show that it affected me. So I'm not going to do it. And I was really, I think I can't remember if it was this video or another video, but I might have even deleted that video on YouTube and reposted it after correcting it because I felt so embarrassed and self conscious. Now today, this would never happen. First of all, if I make. If I have typos, I don't care. People know my worth, even though, you know, I have typos and they know that I probably know how to spell and this is a mistake and it doesn't mean that I'm not worthy of teaching them. So it wouldn't happen today, but it would also not happen because there isn't this insecure place in me today. That needs this validation. Of course I need validation. But I need validation from my students, not from strangers. I need validation from people who appreciate my work and would give me honest feedback and not from people who are there just to be mean to other people on the Internet. So I'm telling you this to show you that you see me now. And a lot of you, you know, I've mentioned, I want to be like you and I want to speak like you. And I get that all the time. I worked hard to get here, and I'm teaching you everything that I've done along the way here in this festival and in my programs, I'm outlining everything that I have done to get to where I am today so I can make this road a little shorter for you. Because I've been doing this for 20 years, so I know how to simplify this and shorten the path for you. But you need to take action. You need to stay committed and you need to believe that it is possible for you. Okay? So when you compare yourself to me, know that it's possible. You just need to do the things that will get you there. And one of the things is to really work on recognizing the imposter syndrome. I'm not enough and managing it, knowing that it's going to be there. But it doesn't mean that you're really not good enough. One, two. When you are judged to decide that, it doesn't mean right, doesn't mean when people say bad things about you, it doesn't mean about you and about who you are and about your worth. On the contrary, I get super competitive when people judge me and they tell me that I can't do it inside. Not to them, but inside, I'm like, I'm going to prove them wrong. I'm going to show them that it's the exact opposite. So I use it as fuel to get to where I want to get. It's not going to stop. It used to stop me. But again, I think that a lot of work and a lot of conscious work and mindset work, deliberate mindset work, has helped. And this is why this is such an important part of this process. And this is why I dedicated an entire day to, to mindset. And this is why in New Sound, there is an entire module of 10 of eight lessons about mindset, okay? Because it's an inherent part of the work. And when you own that fluent mindset, you are on your path to become the new speaker of English rather than the non native speaker who is just consumed with the Technicalities and of the holistic process of owning a language. Okay, I see some great questions. Let me see if there are any other how to improve. Okay, I attended. Okay, last. Last remark. Because it's good. Vince. I attended several Toastmasters classes during the start of the pandemic. One of the musicians said that motivation is a feeling that comes and goes. He said that habits are stronger. What is your stance there? I agree 100%. I think that we have to bring that motivation. So motivation is the fuel. But if we want the infrastructure, we have to build strong habits, right? And we can't just sit there and wait to be inspired to create or inspired to speak. It happens sometimes. But also, building habits around getting yourself inspired is. Is key because you can't feel creative or inspired or motivated to work without doing some kind of process of getting there. When I need to create videos and I don't feel inspired and I have a deadline, you know, I do things to get me in that state, and those things are part of my work habits, of the things that I do as part of, you know, me being an entrepreneur, me being a content creator, me being someone who is, you know, my passion is to serve and to make a difference and to make an impact. But to do that, I cannot sit and wait for the motivation to strike because a lot of times it does not happen. So strong habits in place and also habits around getting yourself motivated, like dancing. Okay, so yes, habits know your why. So again, like, it's funny, we're going to talk about it tomorrow because also, in my. In. In the first module of my program, it's exactly that we learn what. Why do we want to do what we do? Right? Like, what is your why? And not in a cheesy kind of way, like, what's your purpose? No, like what, what's. What is it really about English that makes you tick and makes you feel like you want to improve yourself and at the same time, how to build consistent, strong habits so you can combine these two together. Because I think these two are really important, that then they go together and then you'll be able to get things done and do the things that you say you're going to do. There are all these things that go into it. And like, again, thinking of the old way of learning English, we only saw such a small part of the entire process, and then we were surprised why we're not seeing results. And then, you know, once you recognize all of these other things that you have to take care of if you want to improve your communication skills, it all makes sense, right? It all makes sense and it gets your results. As you'll hear on Friday when we talk about students who have implemented all these elements and have seen results in their lives. All right, my friends, I think that's it. Wait, I got blurry for a second. So next up for today. Next up for today, we have. Everything is recorded. I got a lot of questions about pronunciation. Go back to day two. If you haven't seen day two, go back to day two. We teach you how to improve your pronunciation using the pronunciation confidence method and to identify your priorities. And join the implementation workshop with Christina and there is a practice group with Christina too, today about pronunciation. So if you are the pronunciation people in the house, you have two incredible workshops today. So don't miss them out. And if you do watch the replay tomorrow or the next day, all the content is available to watch until I'm going to give you the exact. The exact date, but close to the end of the month. And at the end of the month, all the content is going to go down. So if you haven't watched previous recordings, don't hesitate, don't stall. Watch it because it's not going to stay forever. Okay, my friends, thank you so much. Tomorrow we're going to talk about creating your successful journey. I cannot wait for it. I can't wait to hear your experience after going through today. And that's it. Have a beautiful rest of the day and I will see you tomorrow. Bye, everyone. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Don't forget. If you want 30 minutes with Christina, our coach, don't forget to post on Facebook. No, on Instagram. That's it. I need to stop speaking on Instagram. Tag me hashtag Fluency Fest. You know, tomorrow we're going to do another raffle to win a 30 minute coaching and feedback session with the amazing Christina. So see you on Instagram. Thank you so much for sharing. It's so much fun to see you in the learning process. Bye, everyone.