Live: The fluent mindset (how changing your thoughts can improve your fluency) | American English

One. I'm live. It's been a while. How are you? Just wanted to say a quick hello. The light here is too close. Okay, that's it. Better. I still. It still looks like I just got hit by a flashlight. Anyway, how are you doing, guys? It's good to be here. I came on live. We have the first comment here. Hey, Dariel or Dariel. Hi. Welcome. Hello. Andrew and Yassine. Hello. Hello, William. Hi, guys. Okay, so I just wanted to say that I missed you. I miss going live here. So if you have any questions for me, Rizma is here. Hi, Rizma. Thank you for coming. Hello, everyone. So it's so great to see familiar names here. So I know your names if you're in our Facebook community, the Fluency Challenge, like, I know Rizma from there pretty well, I'd say. And also, hey, Adriana is here as well. And I recognize a lot of you from the comments. So it's always a good opportunity to say hi and thank you. Yes, great to see you all. Okay, so I wanted to say I've been thinking about it for the past few days and I've been listening to things that are inspiring to me. So I was listening to some personal coaching and some high performance methods and I thought. Thought about the things that I learned and thought about how we can apply those things onto English and also to learn from our experience. My experience in my. In my. On my personal journey and my experience working with non native speakers from around the world in our experience in the. In our community on Facebook. And if you're not there yet, I'll talk about it later on. But if you're not there yet, look up for the Fluency Challenge on Facebook. I guarantee you're not going to regret it. And you guys, whoever here is in the Fluency Challenge group, let us know and tell them that they don't want to miss it. Right? Okay. Hello. I'm just looking at the comments. Okay, so let's see if I can. Yes, I can't see anything because of the common. So I can't see. Okay, so four things that you can change in your mind that will help you become more fluent. Okay, so we all want to be fluent. Fluency is, you know, what is fluency, Right? What is fluency? Tell me in the comments, what do you think being fluent means? Is it speaking with no accent? Is it having enough confidence to express your thoughts? I'm really curious because, yes, every person has different goals and their definition of fluency is different. Right. Usually it's what you don't have and you'd like to achieve. So let me know. Being able to communicate. William is saying being able to communicate, right? So you want to be able to communicate with other people. That's being fluent. But I guess you can communicate with people with just having a few basic words, right? If you want to get coffee, if you need to ask for directions. Right? So maybe it's to communicate, but it's probably more than that. What does it mean about you? Not about what the external situation is, right? Because. Okay, so. Irum. I hope I. I'm not mispronouncing your name. It says being able to speak quickly. So does that mean taking no pauses, not getting stuck? Maybe speaking really, really fast, like all those reductions. Where are you going? Where are you going? What are you going to do today? So is it fast speech or is it just not stopping and always having the words available? So tell me, being fluent means. Basha says being fluent means to be able to express your ideas in details without any difficulty. Great. Okay, so it's not just the general idea. You can dive deep into a topic. Right. And being able to say what you want to say without feeling like, I can't do this. Right. I'm stuck. I keep getting stuck. I can't find the words. Right. I like this. I like this definition, the way you see it, discussing something in detail. Right? In detail. That's the important part because you can all talk about the big things. I don't like football. Why don't you like football? Right. That's the result of someone who can't express his or her thoughts. But if you go into detail, I mean, that wasn't a good example. But I want to talk about the political situation in your country. Wait, I have to move the light here because I feel like there's sun in my eyes. Can you see me now better? I think it is. Okay, so. So yeah, I don't know if you see it as well, but I look to myself like just one big flashlight. Okay. So when people don't ask where you're from? Okay, you know what? I know people who have a perfect American accent, but it's very hard for them to communicate. And they can fool people because they sound completely American. But then they don't have the words, they don't have the practice. They're very. They have very little confidence. So it's not necessarily about the accent fluency. I'm sure it helps. It definitely helps, right? It definitely helps with confidence. I know it, but I don't Think it's the essence of fluency because you can have a thick accent and be completely fluent. A language. How important an accent. Okay. Romulo is asking how important an accent is for the life of a learner. That's an amazing question. But not for now. Maybe at the end I'll discuss it. Being fluent is what you. When you want to strike up conversation with someone else, anytime, anywhere, right? Where you don't have to prepare for something. When you can just jump in a conversation and be like, oh, yeah, I have a lot to say, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And say it right. That's being fluent. Great. Wonderful. So you want to be fast and fluent. Okay? So these are amazing answers. And we're all around the same topics. Okay. We're okay. Without hesitating or pausing. I'm sure you can all relate to that. Being able to communicate without thinking about what you're going to say. Oh, that's an important one. Right. Without preparing for it. So you don't know, and you just start. And your brain takes you wherever you want or wherever the brain wants, right? And you can just go on and on. And maybe sometimes you know how it is in your native tongue when you're like, you have no idea what you're talking about, but you can keep on talking until you get back on track and you kind of, like, realize what you want to say. So usually we can't do it when we speak a second language when we're not fully fluent, right? It's not that we can't do it. So when you're fluent, you can do it. And when you're not, then it's a little more difficult. And this is why you get stuck. Because, you know, sometimes we. We space out. We don't know exactly how we're going to continue our train of thought. So in our native tongue, we can get away with it. And in English, sometimes we can't because we need to search for the words. Okay? So great answers. And here are a few things that I wrote to myself that are not related to your English practice. It's related to what you can do, what you can change here to help you become more fluent. Okay. How you should approach your English journey. So the first thing. So I have four things to share with you. The first thing is, first of all, you gotta love the journey. You gotta love it. You gotta love it. You gotta love what it's going to give you, how it's going to change your life, your perception of yourself. You got to love it. You got to Love every bit of it and enjoy it. And if you don't, then something's wrong because you're not supposed to not enjoy it. So maybe your teacher is bad, or maybe the situation that you're in is not the best situation that will help you grow and improve. Right? Maybe you're using the wrong textbook. Maybe you're reading the wrong book because it's boring and you want to read about, you know, science fiction and not, you know, this is a lot more interesting to you than fiction, let's say, okay? So choose the things that really inspire you, that get you going, that you love and that you enjoy. And when you love the journey, you love every bit of it. That includes the mistakes and the struggles, because you understand that it gets you somewhere. You know, I. This is the first thing that came to my mind, so I'm gonna say it. But, you know, when you give birth, some of you may not have given birth, maybe yet or maybe never, men or women. But, you know, the pain that you. That you experience is like the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life when I gave birth. But it was good pain because I knew that at the end, I'll have my baby. I'll hold my baby in my hands. Right now, it's a little different. But when you embody and love the struggles and when you appreciate the pain, because there is pain when it comes to speaking English as a second language. There is, especially when you practice your R. But when you appreciate it and you know that it's only getting you further and advancing you, then everything is a piece of cake. And the goal or the end of the road is not that far. And by the way, there is no end of the road. When you're learning a second language, there's always where to improve. Even in your first language, there is always where to improve. So that's the first thing. Love the journey. The second thing is don't study the rule, study the mistake. Okay? That's an important one. Don't study the rules, study the mistake. Don't go to your textbook and try to understand how it's supposed to sound. And try to understand or make sense of what it means and how you're supposed to do it. Understand the mistakes that you are making. Okay? Understand what you are changing organically, intuitively, when you speak. And look at the original. Look at the rule, how it should sound, okay? And then try to understand why you switched this word up, why you added that S, when there is no need for the S, why you added A certain verb where there is no verb. Oh, I do it in my native tongue. Okay? So in English, I don't need to add this verb when I say this, this, and that. Okay? Study the mistakes that you're making. How can you tell if you're making a mistake? So let's say you're watching television and you hear someone saying a sentence. And then ask yourself, how would I say this sentence? And then say it without thinking about it. And then try to compare it. Look at the patterns that you are creating. Right? The speech patterns, your speech patterns, and compare it to the original. Or if someone says, hey, you know, you don't say it like that. Or if you work with a teacher and someone corrects you, don't think of it as, oh, my God, how could I mess it up? No. Remember that this is a great opportunity to learn. Learn what your patterns are, what you've just changed, and focus on that and learn how to not do it, understanding what causes you to do it. I hope it makes sense. I will make a video, a separate video, not a live broadcast about this topic. So if that's not clear, it will be eventually. Number three, be in charge of your feelings. So what you want to do is associate the process of learning with positive feelings. If you feel that it's a burden to study. If you feel that because you were mocked once because of your accent, or someone made a rude comment about the fact that you can't communicate or you don't speak well, even if it was like 10 years ago and you still carry it with you, these are negative feelings that prevent you from having this clear space in your brain and confidence to communicate yourself, okay? To connect with other people. So you have to associate the journey and speaking English with positive feelings. So every time you, you start speaking or before you have a speaking engagement, or when you, you have a meeting or just a conversation with someone, say to yourself first, how do I want to feel in this conversation? And then say, this is how I'm going to feel in this conversation. I'm going to feel empowered. I'm going to feel that I am clear, that I'm communicating, that I'm unique, that I express my thoughts and feelings. If I get stuck, then it means that it's an opportunity for me to come up with a word that is not that available. Okay? So all of these things are things that you can decide if you want to be upset about it or you want them to throw you off and get you discouraged and self conscious, or you want to be appreciative or happy about it, happy about the communication and excited content, right? Associate the process of speaking. And every time you approach your. Your notebook, if you study in school, okay? Or if you practice something, if you go to YouTube videos to learn something. So it means you want to decide that you are going to achieve something, learn something new, and associate positive feelings around speaking and around studying, okay? The fourth thing is, and that's essential, you have to make it meaningful, meaningful communication. If you practice random small talks. You know what I hate about textbooks in English is that the conversation there is so boring you want to just fall asleep on the book or when you look at videos, right? I think there are amazing creators out there who are doing amazing work, but there is also a lot of stuff there that is that it's just very boring, right? And if you practice it, you just get bored with it. It's not meaningful. And when it's not meaningful, you don't. The connections are not being made there in your brain, okay? The connection of. The connections of searching for the words because you really need to express something clearly because that's important for you. And also understanding how to say it and being engaged and understanding that you are learning something more than just English, right? When you are watching the conversation or the TED talk or the interview or you're talking with someone else about something that matters, that you know that if you say those words that you have to say, you. You will make an impact and inspire other people. You have to make it meaningful and find meaningful situations to connect and communicate and express your thoughts and who you are. Because there's only one of you out there in the world. And it's a shame that people don't see it, don't see who you are because of language barriers. So you can communicate a message even without using all the necessary words, even with broken grammar. But when you do it, when you manage to express your thoughts while you get stuck, make grammar mistakes, pronunciation mistakes, and when you use not the most accurate words the way you use in your native tongue, but when you do it, you feel that you are able to do it. And when you're able to do it, that's. That's the direct way to fluency, right? When you feel able and as I said, empowered and confident enough to say, okay, I've communicated what I had to say. It wasn't great, but I did it. Did it, do it right? First do it. Then think about your mistakes. Think about, you know, learn from it and all that. But that's what really, really Matters. Okay? So always make it meaningful. And if you get bored with something, find something else and engage yourself in important conversations. Don't be afraid of diving deep into a conversation that you or a topic that you are not 100% sure how to talk about. So, and this is what leads us in our community, on Facebook. And again, I'll post a link to it. I haven't yet. So if one of you guys from the fluency group is here, I know you're here. Just post a link to it to invite other members here, other people. Thank you for. Okay, I'm looking. See, I get so distracted once I see some of the comments and you write such beautiful, sweet comments, I get all distracted and I stop speaking. So what did we say about fluency anyway? And when you're fluent, sometimes you still get stuck. I always get stuck in Hebrew too, you know, and in English. So what I think about what I want to say and I get back on track. Anyway, what did I want to say? I wanted to say that if you want to. And this is, this is what leads us in our community discussing topics that matter, that are important, that are difficult. I mean, this week's discussion, guys, what is it? Tell us. This week's discussion is about social justice. And a lot of people had to Google social justice to find out what it means. And then they knew they had a lot to say about it, right? And then they started posting videos about social justice. And these are like amazing videos. Last week it was life lessons, right? When people record on video their life lessons and share it with fellow non native speakers from around the world. So what is less? What's meaningful, if not that, right? And it was hard. It was hard for them, but they did it. And they're. They're all amazing, really, out there. And it's hard to put yourself out there, but it's also the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And then it's not a big deal anymore, right? Right? To talk about something, to talk with each other, to discuss things that you don't usually discuss, even in your native tongue, but when you do it in English, right, you become better at it. It's a skill. It's a skill that you need to practice. And when it's meaningful, first of all, it makes you love the journey. You always associate it with positive emotions. And because you make mistakes, that's the journey you can learn from it. So when it's meaningful, it actually covers all the four things that we talked about, all the four thoughts that you need to Turn around in order to create the mindset of the fluent. Right. Of the fluent person. So I guess that's it. I guess that's it. And I have to go because as always, I don't have a lot of time. I'm going to look at your comments. Let me quickly look at your comments. Okay. Shabnam, Right, I hope I said it right. Says that he or she. I'm sorry, I don't know. Because I don't know this name. Gets nervous when he or she needs to speak in front of people. It's a matter of practice. The more you do it, the less nervous you get. You get nervous when you're doing things rarely right, in like once a week or once a month. And then you get all nervous because you're not used to it. But when you do it every day, even if it's talking to yourself or even if it's joining a group and talking to one of the members or posting videos and getting comments and feedback about it. So even if you do that, you. You become a little less stressed about it, more confident, of course. But also it's. It's kind of like it becomes a habit. It's. It becomes something that you just do. It's like public speaking. The first time is always nerve wracking. The second time too. The tenth time as well. The hundredth time probably as well too, but not as much. And then it gets easier as you go. Okay, so remember that Laia is here. You're a live example of what Hadar have said. You're a live example. Oh, Laia said something. Sorry, someone. Someone just tagged Laia. Laia is a member in our community. And I can't see what you said. I'm going back, but I can't see it. Okay, but I will be able to see it afterwards. I love it that you guys are having a conversation there, tagging each other. See, that's the idea of a community, right? And I feel that we as non native speakers have so much to give each other because really when you practice, you don't have to speak to a native speaker. As I said, we learn from just doing, from just hitting those walls ourselves. We don't need the feedback. We. We just need to do it. And when we do it with like minded people, with people who have the same needs, people who appreciate your struggle, who understand exactly what you're going through and is rooting you all the way through it, I think that's like the most amazing thing. This is, I think this is why it's so successful. And you can see it in the comments here how you guys are having this nice conversation among yourself. So, yeah, join us, Join us on Facebook the Fluency Challenge, and I'll post a link to it right below. Okay. I hope it was helpful and not too scattered. I just jotted down these ideas a few minutes before the video before going live. I was thinking about it for 24 hours, but, you know, I just wrote down the points right before. So I'll try to make it a little clearer in my head and a little more understandable and I'll make a real video about it really soon. Okay, guys, sorry if I hadn't had a time. Hands up, whoever thinks Hadar's hair looks so freaking. Well, I love you. Anyway, yeah, I washed it yesterday, so it looks good. If you know me, you know, I wash my hair maybe once a week and that's it. Actually brushed it too. Okay, so thank you again so much. You guys are sweet. Don't go, Hadar. Hey. No, I have to go because as I was going live, I saw a little message from my husband saying, the girls are asking about you because I've been teaching here all day. So I guess I should go and be with my daughters for a little bit. And tomorrow we have a day off, so we're going to the beach and maybe I'll take a picture of us there and post it somewhere, maybe on Instagram. If you. You can follow me at Accentsway by Hadar so you can learn a little bit more about my personal life because I'm very education oriented here on YouTube, but on Instagram, I'm revealing more. I guess it's an easier platform to do that. So you can. You can come meet me there. Okay, you guys, thank you so much. I hope to see you on Facebook. Okay. In the Fluency challenge group. Take care. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. Happy Eid. For those of you who are celebrating Eid Mubarak. And take care. Bye.