Roller coaster of emotions🎢 and things I love about this city ❤️ | My Relocation Diaries

Hey, welcome to my Relocation Diaries. This is episode number eight, and I can't believe that I already shared seven episodes. I feel like I just started out. At the same time, I feel like I have nothing else to say about my experience. I'm kidding. I always have something to say. In fact, today I had a different plan for what I wanted to talk about. Remember, I said that I'm going to tell you my refrigerator story? I have several things that I want to talk about, but something happened yesterday that made me change my topic for today. And today I want to talk about the roller coaster of emotions that is associated with making big moves or moving to a new country, which is what I'm experiencing right now. You know, we're used to thinking of emotions in the singular form. Like, right now, I am angry. Right now I am sad. I'm afraid. I'm happy. I'm excited, right? So when we think. When we try to think about how we feel in a current situation or in a. In a certain situation, then usually there is, like, this one emotion that comes up. And that's usually the case, especially with big emotions, that they're kind of, like, consuming. But I've realized, especially since I came here, that there are many situations where I experience a lot of emotions at the same time, and they're all valid. So it's kind of like my body has more capacity for different feelings to exist at the same time, and it's hard to identify those emotions, to single them out and to say, I feel a little excited, a little afraid, a little concerned, a little exhausted, a little bored, right? Like, it's hard to identify all of them. So what my brain does is it identifies all of it as overwhelm, confusion, and even anxiety. Right? Like, not anxiety in the sense of I have anxiety, but it's. It's like this anxious feeling that I have when I have all those different mixed emotions existing in me at the same time. Let me give you a more specific example. So last week, my sister was here, my sister and her family. And it was amazing. It was amazing having them here. I talked about it in the last episode, and when they left, you know, my daughters were like, oh, mom, don't be sad. And the thing is, I wasn't sad because I'm traveling back home for the holidays in three weeks. So I wasn't sad, but I felt this burden or this heavy weight on my chest, and I kind of, like, wanted to shake it off. But I also said to myself, okay, this is the feeling that you have right now. But also it was the end of a very, very busy week. You know, my routine here is pretty laid back. I don't do a lot. Like I do a lot of work. And it has been a very busy time for me at work. And when my girls get back home, they usually like to chill at home, still processing everything. So we all feel like we need a lot of home time. We don't walk around every day, we don't travel a lot on the weekends. We like to stay home a lot. We're very homey people. And that was the case back home and even more so here when we're just trying to adjust. So when my sister was here every day we would go out and go to different attractions and different places and walk around the city and go to restaurants. So by the end of the week, I felt exhausted, I felt tired, I felt like I needed to curl up and, you know, just go to sleep. And it wasn't because I didn't enjoy the time together. It was amazing. But also my body was just exhausted. So when they left, there was this sense of, okay, now everything calms down a little bit. But it was also feeling of sadness, longings, wondering about what's going to happen next, when is the next time we're going to meet. You know, like a lot of feelings were bubbling at the same time. And I noticed that usually when that happens, when I have all these different emotions kind of like start bubble up, I try to avoid it, like do different things and like not be with that weight, which is what I felt. And the truth is that sometimes emotions are meant to be processed. It's okay to feel that heavy weight. When you feel sad or when someone you love leaves. It's okay to be in that emotion. And I noticed that I was trying to avoid it. Like I was. I didn't want to feel that. And then the following day was pretty chill. We like, it was the last day of the holiday. I started working slowly and then the following day my daughters went back to school and the following day the girls went back to school. So technically I'm back to my routine, which I love. So I wasn't feeling bad about going back to work or going back to my routine. And I went to my favorite co working space. So I was excited about that and I had all that creative energy. In the morning I walked there, there and I sat down and all of a sudden I felt really sad. Like really sad. I think it was the result of just realizing that my girls are back in school and I kind of Missed them because it was like a great week of spending every day together. And the days are really long when they go to school. And I felt, like, sad because of that, which is silly because I saw them two hours earlier, but I just missed them. And I missed my sister and her family. And also the news from back home, they just, like, keep getting worse. The whole Israel, Gaza situation, that is just, like, horrific for everyone. And every time I open the news, like, something new happens or something else is not changing. And that is so depressing. And I had to work. I have a webinar that I'm teaching next week, so I had to work on the slides and I could not concentrate. I wasn't able to do it. And I was so excited about getting back to work. And that excitement did not go away, but, like, that burden of life and the understanding of the reality. And maybe it was something in the air, you know, that just felt very, very heavy. And I'm working through these situations. Like, I really try to work through these situations. And I start to write down, like, all the things that go through my mind and process it. Like, there was a not pleasant business interaction with this company that I was working with. Not not pleasant, but, like, we didn't see the results that we wanted. So that was. You know, in usual situations, it would not be a problem, but because I was not at my best, it felt bad. Like, it felt worse than it should have. And the thing is, again, like, I realized that the moment I have all these different emotions happening at the same time. Like, I have that tendency of feeling like something is wrong and I need to shake it off. I need to do something to feel better. But then I thought about it, and I realized that this is a big part of this experience. Like, these highs and lows, the shift from being excited to being totally depressed, from feeling loved to. To feeling completely alone, even though I have my family around me, my close family, from being very hopeful to feeling like there's no future. So I realized that the best thing I can do is just accept that this is how it is, that there is no point where you always feel good. There is no point where you get past all your struggles, and then life's easy. So I realized that life is this. It's that mixture of emotions that sometimes some emotions are stronger than others, but it doesn't mean that all the other emotions are not there. Maybe you just don't pay attention to them. And sometimes you have a mix of emotions and you are interpreting it as confusion or overwhelm. Which is what I did, you know, and then that doesn't serve you. Because we don't take action from a state of confusion. We don't do proactive things when we are feeling overwhelmed. Right? It's not a productive emotion. So it's important to understand when you feel overwhelmed, when you feel confused. It's so important to understand what exactly it is that you're feeling. What are the different emotions and why you feel those emotions. And when you map it out. So I do it with writing. I just write down everything. Like I told you. When you map it out, you're like, oh, okay, I'm sad, but I'm excited. But I'm also concerned. Is there something I can do about it? Yes. No. If yes, let's do it. If no, just let go of that thought because it's not serving anyone. And usually that's how I process these emotions until I feel a little more in tune with the emotion that I want to feel or the thoughts that I actually want to have. And if that doesn't work, and sometimes, like I need to process it in different ways. There are a few things that I really love doing here in Barcelona that make me feel happy. So one of the things is, like I told you is like, I love working in co working spaces. Like when I see other people when I'm not just at home. So there is one place that I usually go to that I like that day, it wasn't helping me, but I like generally going there makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy and helps me calm down or process my feelings is walking. Really walking is everything. I get into this state where my brain just works in the background. I don't really think, but it's still processing things. And I just experience the city. I look at people, I like to walk fast, I like to walk on big avenues. And when I do that, usually after I get to my destination or get back home, I feel so much better. I can't explain it. I'm sure that a lot of you would resonate with that and let me know if that's the case for you as well. But walking makes everything better for me. And my best ideas come when I walk because I think that my brain is like, like I said, like it's processing things and it's solving problems that I have in my business. Or I come up with ideas that I wasn't present enough. Because you know, when you're going through your day, you're in front of your computer or on your phone, or you're doing all these things, you're with your family and you don't have time to process things or to think about things. And walking just gets you to focus on thinking. And I love that. Honestly, it's hard for me to just think when I'm by my computer or by my phone really. Like my phone sucks all my energy. There is so much going on inside my phone. I have Instagram and YouTube. Like I have all these comments that I want to respond to. I have emails, I have slack where my, you know, I communicate with my team. There is WhatsApp. It sucks my energy. There's always something to do there. There's the news that I try to be very careful about consuming. And even though sometimes I have caught myself walking and being on my phone at the same time, which is not the best thing to do, when I walk, I'm not on my phone. When I'm by my computer, it's hard just to think. So I tend to have my phone around me or my computer or do something. So walking makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy here is drinking coffee in different places. I love coffee, I love coffee shops, I love local places that are not touristic and I love going there and asking for cafe solo and pretending like I'm a local because technically I'm a local now. Pretending I speak the language and to just observe people in their day to day life, like coming in, getting their coffee going. So not to be on my phone or to work, just to look at people. I love that. So that's another thing that I love doing. I've always loved it by the way, every time I would travel to a new city, there would be like a few days where I would just go to cafes all day. Like I'm not Eiffel Tower. No, not interested. Let me sit at a cafe and then at another cafe, right? That's how I experience places. Another thing that I love is riding my bike. I don't have a bicycle, but I can rent out a bike here. And I love traveling the city on the bike because I get to see a lot at a short period of time. So that's another thing that makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy is eating good food. I love going to restaurants, but not just like to eat uninteresting food. I love it when it's, when it's good, when it's specific, when it's flavorful. So I love going to restaurants and discovering new places and eating different foods. I'm vegetarian, so it's sometimes Hard to find something to eat in different places, but. But that's also something that I love. And luckily, Barcelona is a really good place for culinary explorations. And lastly, obviously, what I love doing is to just be with my family, with Gil and the daughters, to hang out at home. I already told you that this is, like, our favorite thing to do together. To just chill at home, to play games, to read, to watch a movie, do arts and crafts. I hate doing arts and crafts. I'm so not interested in that. But I love being around my daughters when they do their thing. Gil is a lot more in contact with the girls when it comes to doing things with their hands. Like, I would cook with them, I would play with them. I wouldn't draw or do, like, you know, paint. It's not for me. It's funny because my dad has a shoe factory, and he's a shoe designer. He's amazing. And my sister joined his business, and she's a designer as well. And she's always been really good with crafts, like, doing stuff with her hands, like, all her life. And my mom also. She's amazing. She's a painter, really. She's an artist. And. And she also helped my dad in the business. And it was funny because all of them were doing, like, all these artistic things, and I was the one in business and teaching, and every time they would show me something that they did, I was like, oh, it's really nice. So cool. And then move on and not, like, ask questions about, oh, what is this fabric? And let's look at the cut. I don't see it. You know, I would wear sneakers, and all of them would wear all the shoes that they designed. So it's always fun. I used to work at the store, so they had a shoe store, and I would sell. I would sell shoes. They would make the shoes, and I would sell the shoes. That's what I was interested in. I'm kidding. I hated it, too. I just helped them. I help the family business anyway, so that's the joke about me that, like, I really am not good with my hands unless I have to type content and write emails. Okay, So I think. I think just recording this podcast made me feel better. So here's a tip. If you feel frustrated and if you feel heavy and anxious, just record a podcast. You don't even have to share it. I'm telling you, it's kind of like you release everything, and then you're ready to move on. I want to circle back to what I said at the beginning about having Capacity for a lot of emotions at the same time. Because I always like to take it to the experience of speaking a second language, specifically now English for you guys, unless you are learning another language that is not English, which could be the case, because the experience of speaking another language is also very varied in terms of the emotions. And a lot of times people feel a lot of emotions before speaking, especially before speaking in public. And they interpret it as being anxious or being nervous or being afraid of speaking in English or speaking in front of others. And this is why I wanted to introduce this idea of a roller coaster of emotions or mixed emotions happening at the same time, so that we understand that it's not just stress, it's not just fear. It could be fear and stress and excitement. It could be joy of the small wins, but also shame because you made a mistake. And when you have strong emotions, like overwhelm, confusion, fear, anxiety, see if there are positive emotions hiding there that you don't notice because the strong emotions take over, or because you just interpret that heaviness of the mixed emotions as one thing. But maybe it's not one thing. Maybe there is a little bit of joy there, maybe there is a little bit of excitement, maybe there is some hope. Maybe you just need to put the spotlight more on those positive emotions so that you don't always pay attention to the negative emotions, because they can exist there as well, and all of them can exist there at the same time. And I also wanted to give you this tool that I'm using of just writing down everything that you're thinking that you're experiencing. Try to understand why you're feeling those different feelings so that you can process it in your brain and let go of it. So you can talk about it on your podcast or you can write it down in your journal, but it's really important to get it out of your head and chest and heart and organ, organize it, because it's hard to do it when you're just like on the go, go, go, go, go all the time. So go for a walk, process those thoughts, write it down, talk about it. It's also a really good English practice, I'm just saying. And be okay with the fact that it's not always positive, because that's life. Like the experience that we have of dealing with the burden and dealing with the stress and the despair and the joy. That's life, all of it together. And the more willing we are to be okay with those hard emotions as well, the easier it's going to be in life. I think that's it. All right. Mixed emotions, roller coaster of emotions. All of that is valid. And that was today's topic. That and what I love doing in the city. Okay. Thank you for listening. If you want, you can comment. If you're watching this on YouTube, tell me what you are doing to process your emotions. What makes you happy, where you live, and if you're listening to this on the podcast, then you can send me a DM or on Instagram and let me know what makes you happy, where you live. How do you deal with those big, strong emotions? I'm really curious. All right, thank you so much. Take care. Bye.