The first visit back home | My Relocation Diaries

Hey. Hey, everyone. Welcome to my Relocation Diaries, the series where I talk about my experience relocating to a new country. And if you have never listened to any one of those episodes, then four months ago, exactly four months ago, I moved to Barcelona with my family. And like anyone immigrating or relocating, I've been experiencing a lot of things and I'm sharing some of those things and my journey finding myself in a new country here. On my podcast last week, I haven't published an episode because I was on a holiday. I was visiting my family back home. So we went back home for a week. And that is what I'm going to talk about today. The first visit back home after my relocation. Now, actually, I want to start a little earlier because it's not very common to relocate and then four months later to go visit back home. Like, usually it takes a little longer, like six months or maybe a year. Most of the people I know here haven't gone back to their home country after, you know, such a short period of time. And Gil and I, we kind of like had. We had this disagreement about when we should go and visit. Now I knew that we're going to have a long vacation from school. Like it was like a 10 day vacation in April. And I said at the end of April, and I said, like, this is such an opportunity to go back home. That was like two, three months ago when we first arrived here. And he said, we're not going to go back home so soon and I don't want to go back for the holidays. It's going to be too stressful. And I felt like, oh, no. I really, really needed to know that I have that time where I would go back home, see my family, see my friends, and then come back here. I felt like I would need this visit to recharge. I also felt like it would be really important for my daughters who are super connected to my family and their friends back home, especially Asia, my younger one, who has like the best, most incredible group of friends. Their parents are our friends. So that is something that we definitely miss here, that group of friends and her friends and the incredible relationships that were created there. So I knew that I needed that. But as we were kind of like getting to the date of our trip, first of all, there's a lot of drama happening and I didn't know if the flights would be canceled or what, like, if we would even be able to go back home because a lot of flights were canceled because of the war. And I'm like, I don't know, like this uncertainty was just really daunting. And also, I was. You know, my daughters were adjusting and adapting to school and their life here, and it was a lot easier for Amalia, my eldest, and it was harder for Asia. But, like, around March, the beginning of April, she started really thriving, and she felt more comfortable with her friends, and she was excited about life here. And I'm like, I don't know if going back home is going to kind of, like, recharge her and be good, or it's going to remind her of her life there. And maybe it's not a good idea. Maybe we should kind of, like, let her be here and experience this place. So I was kind of, like, going back and forth. Is it a good idea? Is it not a good idea? Is it a good idea? But, like, in me, like, inside of me, I was like, I have to go see my family. I have to go see my friends. I need this. And we will deal with the consequences later on. So we were supposed to travel, I think, on the 21st, but then we decided to do something crazy because we had our friends traveling to Spain on the 18th of April, but they were going to the Basque country, Pais Pasco. And they said, well, we're going to be in Spain, but we're not going to be in Barcelona. And I'm like, but how are we going to be able to meet them? Because going there from Barcelona meant either taking a car for six hours. We don't own a car, so we're like, renting a car, traveling for six, seven hours, or getting a flight. And I was like, going back and forth with this crazy idea of going there for two days and then coming back and then flying back home. And the reason why I wanted to do it is first I wanted my daughters to spend time with their kids because they're very, very good friends. And I knew that we wouldn't have a lot of time back home in Israel. And I said, you know what? Like, let's do this crazy thing and fly there for two days. Because it has been my dream to visit Basque Country. Or is it the Basque Country? I'm not sure. I have to check that. Pais Pasco. And we knew that they're going to be in Bilbao. And I'm like, this is an opportunity to go travel inside of Spain. We. Which has been, like, part of the reason why we did this relocation, so we can see the world more. And then I realized that every vacation that we have from school is really around meeting people who are visiting us or going Back home. And I'm like, when are we ever going to travel? Because all my vacations are already fully booked with plans. And then I said, I'm going to take those two days. We're going to skip school the last two days before the vacation and we're going to fly to meet them. Two nights, three days. It's a risk. It's very stressful. We were also launching new sound at the end of the launch. So that means that we were kind of like promoting it and welcoming new students. So that was like something really crazy. And I said, maybe it's going to just add a lot of stress and maybe it's going to be amazing. And we decided to do it. I was also recovering. I was really sick. I lost my voice, as you probably, as you have heard in recent episodes. And we went there and I'm so glad we did. First of all, Bilbao is beautiful. It's such a unique place. We landed there and that's something new that I discovered. Internal European flights are so easy. There isn't the whole like passport check at the beginning. At the end, it felt like a bus ride. Not really, but like it was a lot simpler than what I. What I think about when I think about flying. Because I, you know, I'm used to only international flights and all of a sudden that was kind of like easy. So that made it. That made traveling seem a lot easier. Also the flight prices are a lot cheaper when there are like internal, like national flights or internal European flights. So that was like a good start. Which reminded us that traveling is going to be easier from now on. It's not only international flights, not only like three, four hour flights at the minimum. And the city was beautiful. We met our friends, everything was great. We ate a lot of pintxos, which are like small pieces of bread with something on it. Even though, like, we're vegetarians, so we didn't have a lot of choice. But what we did eat was amazing. And I loved the concept because it's all like set up for you and you just choose it and then you eat it and then you're done. Like, you don't have to order from a menu, you don't have to. And if you're hungry, you can just eat something small and then move on with your day. Loved, loved, loved the concept of pinchos. And we went to the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao. And I don't know if you have heard about it or have seen the building of the Guggenheim Museum in Bell about, but it's just incredible. Just like, being around the building is such a unique experience. And also, we were with kids, so at the beginning, they were excited, but after, like, 20 minutes, they were done, and we were like, let me just see a little bit more of what's happening here. So that was really, really nice. And it's not a very hectic city. There's not a lot to do. So three days, two nights were just right because we just chilled. And I love vacations where you don't feel rushed or feel fomo, where you have to kind of, like, do a lot of things in a short period of time. So that was Bilbao, which was a great beginning to what was expecting us in Israel. Because if everything was chill in Bilbao, after that, things got really, really intense. So let me explain. We flew back home on a Saturday, packed everything, and headed to the airport the next day. On Sunday, two flights, one day after another. I do not recommend it, but it was worth it. We arrived at the airport in Tel Aviv. My parents came to pick us up. It was really, really great, emotional, but also a lot of feelings, a lot of emotions that brought back, you know, kind of like the reality of. Of where Israel is at. Like, at war, hostages, war in Gaza. Like, everything that is in the back of my mind kind of like, flooded up, or that is, starting with Iran. Like, it just felt. Everything was just, like, in front of me. It's always with me. I'm always thinking about it. I'm very updated with what's happening. But there is a sense of detachment when you're away, which is, you know, I guess healthier in a way. But I felt very flooded in the first day. At the same time, being with my family felt very safe. Everything felt just. Just natural. I didn't feel detached. I didn't feel. But I also didn't feel like, oh, this is more of my home than my home in Barcelona. Like, I didn't feel that, which is really interesting. I think I'm going to record an episode one day about the definition of home or what is home when you relocate. Because I'm like, I have two homes. I have my home, which is, I would say, like my. My parents home or my sister's home. That's like one home. Because our apartment is taken. We have. We have tenants there, and we have our new home here. And what is more home. I'm trying to figure that out. Like, what is. How is it different? Anyway, we went to my mom's house and my dad's house, and you guys really, like, the moment we got There we had like the most incredible dinner ready for us. We had a room, I think my mom had prepared the room for us like three, four weeks before we arrived, which is kind of funny. And it was just very, very welcoming. And it was so nice not to worry about things, you know, like making food or grocery shopping for a few days. It was so nice. And they are so generous and welcoming and we had a great time with my family. Gil's family, they don't live in Tel Aviv, they live in Jerusalem. So we planned to go visit them a few days later and we went to visit Gil's sister and her family the next day. And then there was a holiday. So we had like a nice holiday dinner. But then I created the tightest schedule because we really wanted to see a lot of people and the girls wanted to see a lot of their friends. And I had a list of things that we needed to do and it was really just about around people. Like we didn't have any needs to go travel. And also there were two days that were really, really hot, like almost 40 degrees Celsius in, in Tel Aviv. Insane. So we just like wanted to make sure that we can meet everyone. So on the first day we were there, I was sitting with a schedule and. And I created the tightest schedule. I was like texting people, are you available here? Are you available there? I already had a few plans laid out and Gil was looking at me, I was like, what are you doing? I'm like, I gotta make it happen. I want to make sure that Asia sees all her friends, Amalia sees all her friends. I need to coordinate it with all these people. We want to see all of our friends. We want to make sure that we have time to visit both families. There's also this holiday, you guys, that was like such an intense project to plan. Once I had planned it, executing it, making sure that everyone, like, we take the girls to different places, we go visit our friends, our parents need to pick them up. It was like a very complex coordination of visits. And I have to tell you, we managed to do it all. So it was pretty intense, especially for us. She had like some like a different friend every day. Morning, evening, morning, evening, morning, evening. She like, she was the busiest out of all of us. And I was also teaching a little bit when I was there, which was great because that kind of like made me stay at home, not make any plans around it. But we ended up staying at my parents house. But we didn't, you know, apart from mornings and evenings, we didn't do things with them, which was kind of like, upsetting. But at the same time, we wanted to make sure that we see everyone. They're also going to come here in a month. I invited them because I'm planning a meetup for my students, my new sound and beyond students, and I want them to be here as a part of it. I'm going to talk about it soon, but I knew that we're going to see them soon and we're going to spend a lot of quality time. So I wasn't too worried about that. But it was like a weird feeling because it wasn't a vacation. We were working at seeing everyone we love and making sure that the schedule is tight. Like, okay, now it's 3pm we gotta go, you know? And of course it created a lot of tension and stress. And Gil is very different for me. Like, he's a lot more laid back. It's like, why do you need to plan? So we had a lot of small arguments around planning because he was like, you know, we're just gonna spend time. I was like, yes, but if we don't plan, then these things are not gonna happen. And then at the end of the trip, the girls are gonna be like, oh, I haven't seen this friend. I haven't seen that friend. And I didn't want that. In hindsight, like, I should have a balance. And for the future. I know that one week and essentially six days is just not enough to rest and to see everyone. It's like, it's really not enough now. I know. And if it is, then I can't hope or expect myself and everyone else to do all the things that we want. And again, like, Gil and I had a lot of conversations about it, about the balance between getting everything done, but what is the price we're paying for it? Like, if we want to get everything done and we're like, in control of all those things, like, what is the price? Because we didn't have time to rest, or we didn't have time to chill, spend more time, like, not doing things for us and for the girls. But at the same time, we did accomplish a lot of things, or like, we really enjoyed every single interaction we planned. So it's. It's kind of like, are we willing to pay the price of, like, high intensity, of a high intensity experience so that we get everything done, or should we have less expectations and allow room for error or exploration? So that's a question. I don't know. Like, I wonder if you're listening to This. I wonder if you're the type, if you're like Gills type that needs a lot of spare time, or are you like me, that you kind of like, try to pack everything into a tight schedule. I'm curious. So if you're watching this on YouTube, then you can comment. And if you're listening to this on the podcast, maybe you can send me a DM on Instagram. Either way, I think you need to find a balance. So that was the trip. It was again, like, so good to see everyone, but everything was, like, very emotional. Like all the interactions with the families, misunderstandings sometimes. So, yeah, that was how it was like every single day. The last night, we just stayed at home. We played Remi Cube, then we played blackjack, which is really funny. Like, we like to play blackjack, which I think is really good for the kids because it helps them with math, calculating numbers. That was really, really funny. Like seeing my daughters play with my parents blackjack. My daughter was the dealer. It's not. I don't know if it's very educational. We played with, like, fake money, but I remember doing this as a child with my mom's family, and I remember loving it so much. And we played with real money. And then, like, for a while, I thought that gambling is an easy way to make money until I realize it's not, and then I hate gambling. But anyway, we played until really late at night. And then luckily the flight the next day was around noon. I think was like a 2pm flight. So we had the morning to chill, have breakfast. My daughters were obsessed with going to the local supermarket. I don't know why. It's like such not an exciting place really, but they were like, we have to go there. We have to go there. Okay. So we took them to the supermarket. They got a few familiar candies to take back home, and that's it. We went back. It was nice to get back home, but then we had to deal with the emotional aftermath of getting back home. So that night was very intense. First of all, we were all super hungry and edgy by the time we had arrived at home. We had all these bags to unpack. And Assia was just like, what I was afraid of. She was reminded of how great it felt to be with friends and family that friends that she had known since she was, I don't know, four years old. And all of a sudden things felt foreign to her here. And things felt like, oh, this is not home. So we had to deal with, like, all. All those feelings. And that brought up a Lot of feelings for me. I was like, are we doing the right thing? It felt so nice to be around family, you know, am I doing the right thing for my daughters? Which is a natural part of doing such, like a big thing. Second guessing yourself every now and then. But luckily we woke up. It was still a holiday here. So we woke up like, you know, the house was clean and ready for us and the girls woke up and kind of like started just chilling at home and the mood was a lot better. We didn't talk about living here, we didn't talk about back home. We just spend the day, which was the exact opposite of what we had back home. Like, we just didn't, didn't do anything or we did nothing. For two days we stayed at home. I also had to catch up on work and I had a lot of meetings, but we just stayed at home for 48 hours. We didn't leave the house. And for the first time, by the way, I allowed my daughters to go to the store on their own. I know that, like, for some of you it would be like, what? Only now? But it's a new country and, you know, they don't speak the language yet, and not everyone speaks English. They can communicate in English, but not everyone speaks English. So I felt like very proud of doing this. So that was another big thing that happened. So silly. They were so chill about it. I was the one, like, sitting there waiting, worrying for no reason. So we had a couple more days where we completely stayed at home. Then yesterday we went out, we met friends for lunch. They went to a museum while I was working. So it feels like we had a nice return back home. And today they went to school for the first time after like almost two weeks. Exactly two weeks. So everything was good. Like, it actually felt like, okay, this is life now. And to be honest, I'm so excited about the upcoming few weeks. I feel like, okay, I'm gonna get back to my routine or I'm gonna create my routine. We're not as busy at work, so I can kind of like work on projects that I've been wanting to work on for a while. My very, very good friend is visiting me here for a few days now. So I feel like, okay, like, now I'm going to take a couple of days on the weekend to just chill and enjoy Barcelona as if I'm a tourist. I love doing that every now and then and. And that's it. Like, I'm. I'm waiting to create more time for creative work, which I didn't have time for it. The day is longer. There's already light at 6:30am until 9pm so the day's long. It feels like there are a lot of opportunities. So I'm. I feel rejuvenated, rested, and excited about what's coming up. And we have a few exciting projects coming up in the next few months. So I'm. I'm kind of, like, looking forward to it. And I'm glad because a few days ago I actually felt super drained and kind of like I didn't have. I didn't feel like doing anything, and now it's different. So it's interesting how our emotional state is affecting our motivation to do things or, you know, to work. And it's so important to manage our feelings by managing our thoughts, which is something that I constantly work on. I was busy, like, talking about it and journaling and making sure that the emotional aftermath of just like this very, very tight visit and, you know, kind of like managing emotions around. Around leaving home again, I was, like, containing it. I was discussing it, talking about it, journaling about it. And I was able to process it and move forward, which I'm very happy about. All right, so that is it. Thank you so much for being a part of this conversation. Now I want to start opening this up for questions. So if you want to know more about my life or about specific things in my relocation experience, then ask me questions. And I think I'm going to record an episode just answering questions from my listeners. So you can ask it on Instagram, you can send me an email if you're on my email list, or you can comment on YouTube if you're watching this episode on YouTube. All right, that's it. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey. And hugs and kisses. Bye.