585: The Woman Who Raised Me - My Mom's Incredible Mindset with Julie Wilson

Hello and welcome to the achieve your goals podcast, the show that empowers you to wake up to your full potential and achieve your biggest goals and dreams. I am your host, Hal Elrod, and I invite you to join us each week as we share actionable strategies to take your life to the next level, as well as interview world class experts and entrepreneurs who have achieved extraordinary goals themselves. And we ask them to give you a peek behind the curtain and teach you exactly what you need to do to do the same. Ready? Here we go.

Foreign.

Welcome to the achieve your goals podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod, and I am here today with my mom, none other than Julie Wilson. And obviously my guest today shaped me more than anyone else. If you followed my journey, you know that my sister died when I was 8 years old in my mother's arms. I was a troubled teen. You may not know that. Then my mother got a phone call that I had a car accident and may or may not be alive when she got to the hospital. Then at 37 years old, I was diagnosed with rare cancer and given a 30% chance of surviving. And she got that phone call as well. And there's a lot more in between. But you've heard my story, you haven't heard hers. And so it's been. This is a long time overdue. Mom, I'm really excited to talk to you today.

Thanks for having me, Hal. I'm always happy to talk about you.

Yeah, there you go. Well, I want to talk about you more than me. Yeah.

Okay.

And you don't mind talking about yourself? I mean, if we're honest.

Yeah, it's all right.

Yeah. And by the way, this is the first. This is also a very special moment in the podcast in that I. I'm not set up in my home office to do home interviews. And this is the first. Thanks for the patience in, like, getting all of this set up to work.

So I don't mind.

Yeah, moms are for all right, so I've got a list of. Of things I want to talk to you about because I don't want to forget. I don't want to miss anything. And part of what prompted me for the interview is we were talking yesterday, and what our listeners probably don't know is a year ago, you, or a little less than a year ago, you fell off of a ladder. The ladder broke and literally caved in. It broke. And you fell from how far? How tall? About six feet, six feet up. And you landed on your heel. You shattered your heel, liquefied it. I Think is what the doctor said.

Yes.

And you broke your wrist. I mean, your hand literally came off. Like it broke off of. It was off to the side, right?

Yes.

And we were talking about that yesterday and you were saying how every day is the best day ever. And you've never once let your injury, which you're still not fully recovered from.

Right.

You never felt like a victim, never felt sorry for yourself. You've still done everything in your power to. You've like, you've been creative to be self sufficient, although you have a lot of friends helping you as well. Just I want to start with, we're going to go into the details of adversities you've been through, but we'll just start with that one. And just what in general, what is your, your view of life and your view of the challenges that we all face and you, I think, have faced, especially as a mom, some more difficult than most.

Yeah. Well, I know with, with like, with the accident, they wanted at first to put me in a home, rest home or whatever. And I just knew I could take care of myself. I mean, I'm in emergency, they're casting me up and I go, I need a chair on wheels. If I have a chair on wheels, I can get around with one leg and one arm. So the whole time I was home, I was by myself pretty much, except for friends coming by. But I lived alone and I just knew I could, I could do this. I didn't even have a doubt. That was, was what I found kind of interesting. I, you know, didn't feel sorry for myself, didn't think it was a horrible thing. I just was gonna go home and take care of myself. Yes.

And is that you've told me before that like when I went through the car accident and the five minute rule that I learned from my mentor, Jesse, and the can't change it mindset.

Right.

That you've applied that to your circumstances into this accident in particular.

I love can't change it.

Yeah.

I mean, I use that all the time. Doesn't matter what it is, traffic or anything I do, any mistakes I make.

Yeah.

I can't change it. So just move on and try not to make it again.

I love it. It's such a simple philosophy, but those three words are so liberating.

They're wonderful, right?

Yeah. Just, oh, wait, I can't change it. There's no point in dwelling on it. No point in feeling sorry for myself. No point in being angry. Like, let's got to move on, right?

That's right.

So I want to go back to what has got to be one of the hardest experiences of your life as a mom. And it's when Amory passed away. Yeah, I was 8 years old and she was 18 months, I believe.

16 months.

16 months. Her birthday happens to be tomorrow, which is. Yeah. The timings is interesting in that regard.

Yes.

So talk about Amory. So she was born with a rare heart defect.

She was born with dwarfism.

Okay.

And one of the side effects, a part of dwarf is her type of dwarfism is an enlarged heart.

And what's dwarfism?

She's a little person. Yeah. She had a very rare type of dwarfism. It was called metropic dysplasia. So she had a lot of physical disabilities, joints and her back and so hyphosis, scoliosis. Church was probably never going to walk. The interesting thing was she was 24 inches at birth and at full grow, they said she would probably not be over 48 inches tall, so she would.

Only double her height from birth.

Wow. Yeah. So she went back to 24 inches for a baby's really long, big.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And weren't you told to abort, to have an abortion?

No, I. No, no, I wasn't. We didn't know she was going to be born.

Oh, okay.

Disabled. I had no idea. And I wouldn't have gotten an abort anyways, but, yeah, her 16 months was absolutely joyful. So.

Yeah. And what were those 16 months like? How often were you and dad in the hospital with her?

In the beginning, we took her down to LA to go to use the LA to have her just diagnosed and figure out what is it, what she got. And then after that, not very often, actually, just X rays. And then we had just taken her to have a special car seat made for her and we took her to Shriners Hospital where they did a complete evaluation of everything. And she died just a few days after that. And then we got the results of her tests about three days after she had already passed away, where they found the heart defect. We had never. She had a heart defect until then.

Oh, wow.

She was already gone at that point. Yeah.

So it was a Saturday morning, the morning she passed, was that right?

I don't remember what day of the week. I just know your dad was at work.

Dad was at work. Haley was at Grandma's house.

Yeah.

My sister Haley were nursing.

Yeah. We were in bed that morning was 8 o', clock, nursing her, singing her lullaby just like every other morning. And she just. Her heart just stopped.

Yeah. You say that you look down, and her eyes were just.

Her eyes glossed over.

And my memory, I don't know how accurate it is, it was so long ago. It was what, 37 years ago? But I remember waking up to you wailing, essentially, my baby, my baby. Oh, my baby. And I remember, as I was coming to, thinking, oh, Mom's playing with Amory. My baby, my baby. And then I sense, like, what I can't even describe was going through, you know, the fear, the. The desperation, then. This can't be happening. And so I ran across the hallway, and I found you. I think at that point, you're performing mouth to mouth in the living room before mouth to mouth resuscitation. And then you told me, if I remember correctly, you said, run to Grant, to the neighbor's house. And we lived in the mountains, so we live on an acre, so it wasn't like, you know, it wasn't like a subdivision where you're right next door. So I'm running across the yard, across pine needles to Grant's house. And Grant was how old at the time?

75. 80.

75. 80 years old. And he was on oxygen. Wasn't. Is that why you wanted me to get him?

That is, yes.

Yeah.

That's the only thing I could think of. But we called 91 1, too, in there.

I called 91 1. Right. You told me you relayed what to say. That was. I remember it was in between breaths that you were performing cpr.

Yeah.

And you're trying to tell me what to say and answering where we lay all the questions. And then I remember going to Grants and saying, grant, hurry, hurry. We need your. Bring your oxygen. And poor Grant's 80 years old, trying to wield his oxygen across pine needles and rocks and sticks. And then when we put it on Amory's face, it was too big.

Yeah. It didn't work, right.

Yeah.

But the ambulance was there really fast. I think like six minutes. It was very fast. Okay.

And then did. How did we call? Because I know. I went to Janine Zeitler's house. My friend Ben's mother. Yes, our family friend. Was dad home at that point?

No, he met me at the hospital.

Okay, and then did you. Did I call Janine or did you. I'm sorry. I'm just. I guess I'm personally trying to recall.

Well, I think after the ambulance got.

There, we called Janine.

Yeah.

And she came and picked me up. Right, and then you went to the hospital. Now, was Amory. Did you know she was gone at that point or Were you hoping that.

They were still trying to save her?

Got it. Okay.

We're trying everything. Yeah. They worked on her for a long time.

And I remember I was playing at Ben's house and I just assumed, oh, Emery's gonna be fine. Ambulance is there. That's what they do, they save people. Like, I wasn't worried at all. And then I got a call from dad, and that's for the first time, I heard him cry, I think. And he just said, amre's in heaven. And I remember. I don't know if you know this or not. This is a defining moment, I think, in how I process grief for. So I walked out in the living room after dad told me that.

Yeah.

And I don't remember what I was thinking. I just know what I said, which is I went out into the living room where Andy and Ben, you know, his little brother, they're playing. And Janine and I said, hey, everybody, guess where Amari is? In this really upbeat voice.

Yeah.

And I remember Janine. I can picture her furrowing her brow.

Yeah.

I think she knew. I said, she's in heaven. Isn't that great? Heaven's supposed to be the best, right? Isn't it the best place ever? And I think as an 8 year old kid, and I've done this in therapy, like, I've talked through this and tried to psychoanalyze or whatever.

Yeah.

That I think I went, I don't, like, I don't know what's happening and I don't know the emotions. I've never felt this. I don't know how to process this. I don't understand this. Then I immediate was like, oh, wait, if you just find the positive in it, it feels better.

Yeah, well, you were so young.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, you were so young. And I know you wanted to pray. You said, mommy, should I pray? And I said, yeah.

While we were waiting for the ambulance, Right?

Yeah, the ambulance. And you just were on your little knees.

So when Amy passed away, how did you find the strength to keep going? What followed that?

It was hard at first. Very, very hard. And then I have to say, I talked to the priest, Father Tunisie, at church. And he said, are you angry and you're hurting? He says, just talk to God, he said. And yell at him if you're mad. Yell at him. Tell him off. So I went to church. Your church was empty by myself. And I just let God have it. And then I got this feeling of just peace, just absolute peace.

Wow.

And I drove home from church And I was okay, and I knew I was okay, and I was be okay. And then, of course, you know, change the direction of my focus on life after that.

Yeah. How so?

Well, I had to learn how to grieve and get to the grief process. And I realized in our little community, there was no place to go for grief work. And so I started my own grief group, like a Compassionate Friends group. And I was amazed to find out how many people in our little town had lost children that I didn't even know about.

And Compassionate Friends is a national or international organization that. For parents who've lost young children or just all ages.

All age, yeah.

Parents social then.

Yeah. So. And that was. So I did that. And then, of course, your dad and I started doing Kids Day to raise money for Valley Children's. And it did change our lives, definitely.

Yeah. And Kids Day, or Valley Children's was a hospital where Amory was. She had a lot of care.

Yeah, she had gone there for. Before, for some care. Yeah.

And, yeah, I remember every year we would sell Kids Day papers. That was a big annual tradition for our family.

Raised a lot of money.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Compassionate Friends. How long after Amory passed away did you start the chapter in ochers?

Probably started it within a year and ran it for about 10 years.

Okay. Oh, wow. Okay. So you're. Yeah. And I. I tell that story a lot. If somebody asked me in an interview once, where did you get this mindset of helping people from your accident? And. And I just went, wait a minute. It was my mom and dad, like, learning how they took their tragedy. And you turned your pain into purpose. Right.

Yeah.

How did it help you? Like, what did it mean to you? How did it help you to lead a group of people who you were helping them get through what you were still going through? I mean, after only a year, I.

Think, because when I went to Compassionate Friends, it In Fresno originally, when I first started, I got a lot out of it, and it help me understand grief a little bit better, and it helped me. And reading a lot of books. I read a lot of books on grief.

Okay.

Yeah. Just. And that was so helpful. And so when I had started my group, I had a lot of books to add, and I started a library for anybody else that wanted to read all the books that I'd read.

So.

Yeah.

How did that change you as a mom after that? Meaning. So Amory passed away, your youngest.

Yeah.

And then you've got me at 8 years old, Haley around 6 or 7, a year and a half younger than me.

Yeah.

Were you more grateful? Were you more protective? Like, what was it like to be a mom after you lost a child?

I think I was always protective. I don't know if I could have gotten any more protective than I'd been already, but just grateful for you, too. And you were, of course, a huge catalyst. And knowing I had to keep going, I had to raise you two because you were just as important as Amory. Sure was. Each. All three of you were the same.

Yeah.

And so I. I had to just do what I had to do for you guys. And you were, of course, a big part of keeping me going. And I had to wake up every day, get your breakfast and, you know, get you off to school and all that. And we just added the extra kids day stuff and compassionate friends. I added things, but I still did everything else the same. Yeah.

Fast forward a little bit. What was going through your head? I guess, during my teenage years when I was getting detention, getting in trouble, getting suspended from school, stealing the car, getting brought home by the police on New Year's Eve. Yeah. What was it like?

Let me start up first. You were the best baby ever.

Okay. All right, all right, we'll start there.

Nine pounds, seven ounces and slept through the night at two weeks old. Napped four or five hours a day. You were so good. Potty trained at 18 months. So good. And then your little sister was born. Haley was born. And then that all went out the window. And the terrible two started. And it lasted. So you were 18, but you were a little bit. You were like me. I was hyperactive, but I was probably adhd. You were probably the same. We never diagnosed anything. But I was hyperactive like you were, too. I just didn't get in trouble as much as you did. But you never did anything bad.

Yeah, well, never mean spirited.

No, never.

I was just. I was just a class clown, basically.

Class clown. Hyperactive, but so smart. I mean, you tested 99 on the state tests. You were chosen for the school spelling bee. You were so smart, you could. You used to amaze me. And used to amaze your teachers, too, because you were so smart. You could be fooling around on one side of the. You know, and. But you could quote everything. The lecture that was given to you by the teacher because they would question you.

Yeah.

Okay, Hal, what did I just say? You said, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the teachers were amazed. How did he tear me off? He was doing. Yeah. Pulling the girl's ponytail or whatever.

Yeah.

So you were never a bad kid. At least not the Things I knew.

Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I definitely gave you some great hairs, I'm sure.

A few.

Yeah. I do remember being brought home. I was pressed 17 by the police on New Year's Eve. I had gotten intoxicated with my cousin and we got brought home. It was like 11:30 midnight to us. I don't know, late around midnight is. And I remember the police officer walked us to the back door and answered the door and you just were not happy. And he said, ma', am, you can take him or I can take him to juvenile hall. And you said, take him to juvenile hall. And dad in the background, the softy, no, no, my sister will kill me if you take your son for Fourth of July to juvenile hall. Yeah. Well, what is your thought on like tough love kind of parenting?

Tough love?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And the next morning, you two boys had hangovers. I had a pot in the pan with a spoon and I'm banging them in your ear and you're both just moaning. And I said, get up, you're going to remember this hangover. I thought, you're not sleeping through this hanger. You're going to get up and you got chores and whatever. And I made you get up and you two were miserable.

Yeah.

But you never got brought home drunk again.

Yeah, no, that's true, that's true. During high school, what were your thoughts on my future? Were you like, he's in trouble? Because I think I set a detention for like the most hours or a record for the most hours of detention at high school. So I was always getting in trouble. And again, never mean spirited. I wasn't getting in fights, I was just talking a lot, essentially. But so what were your thoughts on, like, were you worried at all, like, what Pal is going to amount to in the future?

Well, the one you were getting Saturday school.

Yeah.

Which meant I had to get up on Saturdays to take you. So I talked to the vice principal because you would come home and go, yeah, we had pizza. And I'm like, I'm up at dawn to get you to school on a Saturday. So I talked to the vice principal and I said, look, I want him to clean the bathrooms while he's here. Nice. So that first, that Saturday you came home mad. You can't believe what they made me do, Mom. They made me clean the bathrooms. And I said, if you get Saturday school again, you'll be cleaning out the septic tank with a toothbrush. So it's not going to get better for you.

Yeah.

But then when you started doing your DJing and your radio show. And you are so dynamic and so confident and so hard working. So well, you worked hard in the store.

Yeah. Yeah.

You and Haley, both hard working kids. You know, you had great work ethic.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I saw that and I, I knew you were going to go, you were going to do good.

That's a good point. Right. I was 11 years old when you bought the grocery store for those that don't know the Oakhurst market.

Yeah.

Which dad worked at, was a manager at. And his dream was always to be a business owner.

Yes.

And so he made it happen. And that was built in 1945. Right. And we, we bought it in 1991. 91. So it was what, 46 years old. And for those that don't know as well, we lived in a grocery store, which was so cool, you know. Right. The house was behind and in the built. You literally walked. I always tell people, like if you're checking people out in the check stand and you take six steps, it's the front door to our living room in our kitchen. Right?

Yeah.

And it was so cool because we wanted cereal or milk. We would just come out in our pajamas, grab food, go back. We'd roller skate and turn into a roller skating rink at night when it was closed. Like it was a blast. But yeah, so. And then I got hired. Really? I think at 11. And I think it was right away I started working at the store.

Yeah. You and Haley both. Immediately, you guys were checking, stocking, bringing in grocery loads.

Yeah.

At all.

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And then at 15, Jake Williams, who you're still in touch with. Mike, a best friend back then, we got to DJ a school dance because his brother got sick, his older brother, and couldn't do it. And then that's when my DJ career kind of took off. And then Larry Gamble, the owner of the radio station, heard I was a dj called invited me. I remember I was using. You guys had a computer and a printer and I mean, that was like a computer, like, no color graphics, I think. And I remember I made flyers and put them all over town, you know, DJ and I. I got a pager. Yeah. Anyway, it's all coming back to me as I'm talking right now.

Yeah. And you had those huge speakers for the DJ business. And we used to have to haul him and. Yeah, take him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was a blast.

Yeah.

That makes sense that you would go, okay, he's got a chance of, you know.

Wow, you were doing great.

Yeah. Being entrepreneurial at a young age.

Well, I challenged your energy. You were just energetic and you so smart, your brain was just going, going, you know.

Yeah. I get it from you.

Yeah.

Both of those talkativeness, energy. So first of all, I go off to College, right. At 18 to live with my friend. His parents say, nope, Hal can't live here, so I'm sleeping in my car. You remember that? Like, what was that time?

Tell us you were sleeping.

Oh, I didn't.

Later.

Okay.

I had no idea.

Yeah. So I'm living in my car, and after my first year of college, I get hired at Cutco. So that's what I'm really curious. Like, what were you. Because I know you told me later. You didn't tell me at the time. You were very supportive. I think you were a little, like, warning, hesitant, you know, religious, kind of. How are you sure? And is this, you know, what is this? But it's a commission only job, essentially.

Yeah.

I'm selling kitchen knives, which I've never sold anything in people's homes.

Right.

And so, yeah. What were your thoughts when I came home and said, hey, I got hired. I'm gonna sell Cutco.

I never heard of it before, for one thing. And Then I was skeptical. I was. But when you wanted to get that radio show at that big station in Visalia.

Yeah. Which was right before Cutco. I got the job in like a week or two later, I got hired a Cutco.

And I told you. I said, well, how. Honey, you're only 18. You haven't gone to broadcasting school. They're not gonna hire you. They may not hire you, honey. And you went, mom, if I can just get in the door, they're gonna hire me. You were on the radio that night at midnight, and your dad and I drove all the way down to Cor. School to listen to you because we.

Couldn'T get, you know, curse.

Curse.

How funny.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. So that was my dream. I was like, okay, I'm a radio DJ now, officially.

Yeah.

And then my buddy talks me into Teddy Watson. Remember Teddy?

Yeah.

Talks me into going and interviewing at Cutco, which he had worked for for a year or so. And, yeah, I get the job. And so then I'm doing both. I'm. I'm DJing midnight to 6am and then I'm driving at 6am to Fresno, an hour and a half to go through training from 9am to 6pm Then drive back to Visalia, DJ midnight to 6, and then go back to training. It was crazy. And I ended up falling asleep at the wheel my second weekend. And I. And then I was like, I gotta pick one. And, yeah, Cutco was it. So what I remember is you and dad telling me later, though, that maybe it was Dad, I don't know, but that you guys didn't like the idea of me doing Cutco. That which I would imagine for any parent, like, we just.

I didn't know anything about it.

Yeah.

Then that was my biggest thing. I don't know. Oh, sales is so hard. Even though I know you did the online phone sales for a while for.

That telemarketer or whatever.

Yeah. And you.

For vacation rental.

Yeah. You were funny. They loved you. You were really funny when you did it. I think I. We talked a little bit about. What I remember is stories using accents. If you were calling somebody with a certain last name, you would try to sound like.

Like them. Yeah, it's funny.

Yeah.

All right, so I'm selling Cutco, and then I remember you guys turned support. I mean, when I. I broke in, my first 10 days was. I broke the fast start record. So it's like. I remember you guys telling me that you went from being skeptical and unsure and kind of worried for me to like, oh, wow. He's committed. He's dedicated. So was there a shift? And you were like, hey, let's. I remember you guys got really behind it and supportive, and we're doing. Because you. You're the one that referred.

Yeah, yeah.

You referred all your cut. All my initial customers.

Right. Everybody bought it. Yeah, everybody.

Yeah.

All of our friends. Yeah.

So a year and a half into my Cutco career, I get hit on by the drunk driver driving home from a Cutco speech, and I'm found dead at the scene. Heart stopped for six minutes. My best friend at the time, Jeremy Kayton, found me. He was, you know, a minute behind me on the freeway, and. And he found me. I was in a coma, so he thought I was dead. My eye was crushed. 11 broken bones. I'm bleeding down my face. I mean, he's described. I get into tears when I hear him describe.

Right.

What it was like to find me like that. What was it like for you to get the phone call from Jeremy? What?

Well, the weird thing was your dad and I weren't supposed to be home that night. We were supposed to be staying in a hotel for this event that we had never not gone to. Your dad had been man of the Year the year before, so he was going to pass the torch to the next. The new man of the Year. I was on the Chamber Commerce board of directors, and just earlier that day, we both went. I don't want to go. Just didn't want to go. We've always gone. And so this is before cell phones. And had we gone that night, nobody would have been able to find us. Yeah, nobody.

Yeah.

And when we got there, you know, you were alive when we got to the hospital, but had. Maybe if we wouldn't have gotten there and talked to you like we did and hugged you and kissed you and everything, it could have made up the world of difference.

What was the drive like? Because it was roughly two hours from Oakhursta, Modesto.

Yeah.

So when Jeremy called, what did he say? He told me that he. I remember he said he called you, and I think dad answered. And Jeremy, you answered.

We were asleep.

Initially. Jeremy said he hung up the first time. He couldn't get the words out of his mouth to tell you. I can't imagine breaking that news to a parent. Right.

Yeah.

So then when he. You do answer the phone, he calls back. I think you answer the phone. What did he say? What did you say?

Just said, how's been in an accident. It's bad. And at that point, I couldn't even. I just handed the phone to your dad. I couldn't listen to anymore. It's like. I think I just started getting dressed. I think he said, he's in Modesto. And I just start. Hey, going to your dad. And I just started getting dressed.

Yeah, we're going.

Yeah. And then I think your dad called his brother Michael and Wendy, and they came with us. And your dad drove 100 and something miles an hour. Oh, really fast. Yeah, really fast. Oh, we got. Haley came too.

Okay.

That's right. Yeah.

Was she at home with you at the time?

She was still living at home.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

So you get there. I'm in a coma.

Yes. In fact, while we got there, they said, oh, the Elrod family. And they took us to a small room with Kleenex. And the counselor or chaplain or something came in the room and gave us the news. He's not going to make it tonight.

Oh, really?

We're going to let you go in and kiss him goodbye and everything. And you were just. They had cleaned all the glass and you had glass all over you and pieces of metal, all kinds of stuff. You were just in pieces. And they had cut your shirt off and stuff. So it was just your bare chest. And I just went in there and kissed you and kissed you and told you, you better not die tonight because I'm your mother and I'm the boss and better let your living. That's it. Period. Yeah, you're not gonna die.

I can't even imagine seeing me just because I was so broken up, you know. Broken.

Yeah.

And then y' all slept at the hospital that night.

We never left forever.

So for seven weeks that I was in the hospital, y' all never, never left home. Somebody was always with me. I remember that.

Yep.

And then. So you're obviously, you're praying I'm in a coma. And so it's in a coma for six days. During that time, you're just hopeful in your.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. In your room, talking to you. And all your friends were very supportive, coming by, supporting your dad and I and Haley and yeah, it was a lot of support. And then, yeah, that sixth day, you and that. Well, you. Brian Bedell, as I remember, said to you that he was going home and that he was going to take care of your girlfriend while you're here, if you know what I mean. And you gave him the bird from my coma.

I flipped him off.

Yeah. And we went, oh, my gosh. The doctor said you were brain dead.

Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah.

They Said you were because of the brain damage.

Yeah.

Oh wow.

Said you were gonna be brain dead and never walk, never talk, nothing, you know, and then I saw that bird and I thought, oh my gosh, he's in there. And then we asked you questions and we said like how? Yes, one finger. No, two fingers. And we asked her all kinds of honey, are you in pain? Yes or no?

Yes.

Kept trying to think of questions, then you answered them.

I mean, that's so picture perfect that the way you, I come out of the coma is I flip off my high school friend Brian Videl for telling me he's going to take care of my girlfriend.

Well, and another funny thing was the whole time you and your. We tried to make light of it when you were in your com, we tried to be light hearted and talk light hearted and joke. Not serious.

Yeah. You know, no fear or anything.

Yeah. And the nurses and the doctors, you know, he'll probably never talk or anything. And I said, well, if he does start talking, the first thing he's going to do is sell you Cutco. He's going to try to sell you Cutco. And they're laughing at me. Oh, you know. Oh, he's not.

Yeah.

And I said, oh yes he is. Swear to heaven. Hell. After you woke up out of your coma, mom, did you ask him if they had Cutco?

I mean, I knew it.

My whole world was cut go at that time. Yeah. A year and a half into my Cutco career.

I can't do a lot of purpose though, to get better.

Yeah. Well, what it helped me do is I was, I feel like I was pretty me other than the DJing, which was kind of cool. I just felt like I was very mediocre my whole life in terms of like, compared to other kids. I didn't get great grades, I wasn't an athlete, I wasn't popular. The DJing was very cool, but I always felt like I'm just like most of us, I'm nobody special.

Yeah.

And then cut goes like, oh wow. When we make a decision to do whatever it takes to achieve a goal, like we can, I, we, we can do anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were funny in the hospital and we made light of it and I, I think that helped you heal too. Just. Yeah, yeah. Never not being serious, just, just light loving, fun, happy. Yeah.

So over the years, obviously I've gone through a lot of, with the car accident and then the financial crash in 2008. I don't know how much I, how, how open was I with you guys. About that. I don't remember.

Pretty open. I mean, we knew about the house and losing the house and, you know.

Yeah, yeah. And then Miracle Morning starts. Well, it was slow. It was. I self published it. No one knew who I was, but I just kept sharing it. Kept sharing, kept sharing it. And starts taking off. And I'm getting invited places and I'm just curious, is there any aspect of the miracle Morning? Like, was there a moment where you're like, you can remember, oh, Hal's going to Brazil or Paris or how. I'm just wondering if there was something that, for you as a mom, where you're like, whoa. Because I know now you tell me. People talk about it all the time and you always meet people. So I'm just wondering, like, if there was a moment where something clicked and you're like, wow, this Miracle Morning thing is.

I think with the Miracle Morning. Well, even with your first book, taking life at. On Life head on.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, that. That was great that you could do that, too. That was amazing that you wrote that book and. And then Miracle Morning. But I think I was just always just proud. I was just. Yeah, whatever you did. And I promoted it and, you know, anything I think of for you to do, to sign books at the local library, the local bookstore in Okers, whatever it took, I thought I just wanted to promote you and sell you to everybody.

Yeah. You always my biggest promoter, Mom. All right, one more question about something that I went through that again. I'm just really wanting your perspective of what it was like. And then I want to transition to really talk about you in terms of some of your values and your mindset and perspectives and all the things. But cancer. Right. So at 20 was my car accident. You went through all of that. And then at 37, life's great. I'm married. I've got two kids. I, you know, moved from California to Texas. Miracle Morning's taken off. Everything's going really well. We have a great. That's one thing that's been cool is you and I and me and dad. Like, I've had a great relationship with you guys through all of it. Right. There's never. There's literally. I can't remember a moment where I've ever not felt great about you as a mom and. Yeah. Which is cool. Sadly, not everyone is that fortunate, but I'm very blessed in that way. So you're with Ursula, my wife. You're with Ursula in Colorado with the kids.

Right.

I was having trouble breathing, and so I stayed back But I didn't want to keep the kids and you and Ursula away from. Grandma was so excited to see them.

Yeah.

And then y' all were at the zoo when I called Ursula when I got diagnosed with cancer.

Yeah.

Tell me about that. That phone call. When did she tell you? How did it.

It's devastating.

Yeah.

And then we're trying. We want. We need to get her home. Yeah. Get her back. You and her and the kids back to you. I was just at the point where.

Praying was there a little bit of like, again, God, are you.

Yes, that was it. I said, lord, you know what? You took my daughter and I still loved you. You almost took my son, and I still loved you. But Mod Ex, you know, and I. And I know you don't give us more than we can handle, but you're really pushing it.

Because I can talk to God like that. Because Father Tunisie gave me permission. That's how I talked to God. I can talk. I was like, hey, buddy, you know what? You're really pushing me on this one. And I think we still even got through that with some laughter and trying to be positive. And even though it was hard.

Yeah.

But I know you. You're such a positive person. But I know you had your downtime, too.

Yeah.

Like in your movie and stuff. But again, we just stuck by you. You know, your dad was always there. I got there when I could. When I wasn't working, Haley, Kate was there. Yeah. We just weren't going to leave you. Well, you were never left alone. Yeah, never.

Yeah.

Same thing with your car accident. You were never left alone.

Yeah.

And then when you had your cancer, you were never left alone. There's no way.

Was there a mindset around that? Just he. Someone shouldn't. My house shouldn't be alone, or we don't want to be without him, or what was the.

Well, because the nurses don't come and check on you like they're supposed to. I didn't want you to ever have to suffer or anything. Then we were cooking for you.

Yeah.

And the bathroom and stuff.

Yeah. Making smoothies in the hospital. Organic smoothies. Yeah. Yeah.

At the skillet.

Yeah. So through everything, Amory, my car accident, the cancer, still, brain damage, you've remained strong, optimistic. What do you credit that resilience to?

I think it's just how I been. Lived my life. I don't know. I'm just.

Was there anybody that you were modeling or anyone in your life that was that way?

My dad, I guess.

Yeah.

To a point. Yeah. Because he had Cancer. Three times. Yeah. Or he finally died. Suffered a lot.

A lot.

Yeah. And always, always cheerful. Never complained. Even at the end when he was so, so, so sick. Just never. He never complained.

Yeah.

Because he died right after you were born. Your. Your name, you know you're named after your grandpa.

Yeah. Hubert Al Wilson. And he went by the initial H. Albert.

Albert Wilson. Yeah.

Did he not like Hobert, which is why he went by like cohort. So he went by Al H, period, A L. Wilson. Yeah.

Yep. Yeah. He got to hold you after you were born. He was even at the hospital when you were born. Even though the doctor said he should be dead. There's no only thing keeping him alive is seeing you born. Yeah, that was it. We didn't know if you're gonna be a boy or a girl.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, all right. Now let's talk about you. I want to shift gears. You as a woman, not just as a mom.

Yeah.

So start with most recent tragedy, which already mentioned last year. You fall off the ladder. You broke your heel and I mean your whole side of your foot. Right. I mean it's disintegrated. Disintegrated your heel. And you, when you fell off, you said your wrist like broke off of your. Like you were hand.

Broke, way off.

Off. Broke off the wrist. Yeah. Gruesome. Let's start with you didn't call me and tell me because it was around my birthday and you didn't want to upset me on my birthday. You called me like four or five days after it happened.

You were on a trip with Ursula or something that. Yeah. I mean, you couldn't do anything.

Yeah, but I wanted to know. I remember I was in my closet. You call, I go, mom, you should have told me when it happened.

I want to know. I'm here for you.

Gosh. I didn't tell anybody else, grandma or anybody.

Oh, yeah.

Till over a month.

So most people would have been discouraged. Right. I mean, your hand breaks off, your wrists very severe, your foot breaks. So you're laying there on the ground. By the way, let's actually start in the moment. You're laying on the ground. How did you get to the hospital?

Luckily I'd been taking pictures. I was power washing. I was proud of how.

Yeah, we talk about what you were doing. By the way, why are you power washing your own out your. How old are you, mom?

That was 66.

66. Power washing your house on a six foot ladder.

Ladder, yeah. Yeah. And I'd been taking pictures. So luckily my phone was right okay. So when I fell, my phone was already close by, and I just called a friend. I didn't even think about 91 1. I don't know, I just call my friend Greg, and I said, hey, Greg, get over here. I'm feral and I need to go to the hospital. And then I had to. I drug myself with one arm and one leg to the front door. And. But I. What the funny thing was, I thought to grab my purse. I thought, they're going to want ID or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I stop. I'm dragging myself to the front door, get to the front door, open the front door. By the time Greg gets there, I'm sitting there. Then I realize, am I going to stand up? I got one leg and my foot's disintegrated. My hand's gone, you know, so I was able to get myself up. And then I hopped down six stairs to his car.

One hand and one leg.

She's. I know. And then I got to the hospital. When they saw me, they went, yeah.

So first, what was the psychology? What was it like seeing your hand off of your wrist?

First thing I thought when I saw it, I went, oh, that's bad.

Jeez. You're in shock, I imagine, right? You're just in shock. And was there pain or was it was the adrenaline? No, no pain. Okay. Wow.

Yeah.

Pain came later when you never really had pain. Never had major. That's wild, huh? No. And so you continue to have karaoke parties at your house.

Yeah.

You continue to do everything humanly possible, but most importantly, your mindset was just was, this is my reality. I'm gonna make the best of it. I'm. Well, I mean, talked about that a little more. Like, again, I think most people would have been completely discouraged having had that happen.

Yeah.

Also maybe pessimistic, being, you know, 66 years old, your body's not going to heal potentially the way it used to. And it's still. You still can't make a fist with that hand. I mean, you're not completely healed. You're doing physical therapy. You're doing everything you can, but. Yeah. What kept you going during recovery?

Laughter. I laugh. My. My doctor was just shocked just when he first saw me, the surgeon, because I'd have two major surgeries to fix. I'm made out of metal like you. I just. Laughter. And he just couldn't believe that I could be laughing and joking and.

Yeah.

He goes, you have the two worst breaks there are for both.

Wow.

But, yeah, well, whatever. Yeah.

No, I get that from you then? Because I just. Everything's funny to me. There's nothing that's off the limits of finding the funny in it. Right.

You know, and then when I was my casts on, I made it a match. My toenail polish and my fingernail polish so they'd make it whatever color I had. And I thought it was kind of funny. And yeah. Yeah, I just. And I got around the house so well, and I could open a bottle of wine three days after I fell with one hand. That was my big client to thanks. I said, I know I'm gonna live. I can live because I can open a bottle.

As long as I can open a bottle of wine, I'm good. I'll figure it out. So you've had a lot of setbacks in your life, and we didn't even talk about childhood. I mean, we obviously we left out 95% of the challenges you've been through. Just some of the big ones. Especially the ones since it's for Mother's Day. We' this episode. I thought, okay, what's it like being a mom? Go. Having. Losing a child, having a child almost die twice. All of those things, you've always bounced back. I'm curious around happiness, specifically, what is happiness again? 66 years old, you're now retired. What does happiness look like for you? What does it mean to you at this stage in life?

I just love every day. Yeah, every day. Every day. You can remember when you were kids and I'd get up in the morning and I'd say, sing to you. And he'd always be like, mom, okay, why are you always happy first? And I just. I used to drive my flight crew in the morning if we had a 5 o' clock a.m. show on the airplane. And I'm just smiling and they're like, grumpy.

And this is when you were a flight attendant. You're sing.

When I was a flight attendant and I would sing first thing in the morning to passengers and they'd be all asleep, and then all of a sudden their heads would pop up. And people were like, how can you do that at this? And I'm not a morning person. I know, I know. I am not for your mom.

We'll cut that part out. Just kidding.

Yeah. And I don't know, I just. I don't know if it's in me. Your people used to ask your dad, we were younger, like, what is she drinking? What is she. And he goes, she doesn't drink at all.

Yeah. Yeah.

Not a drop.

Yeah.

And they always Thought I was. Because they said I want what she's having.

Yeah.

But then nothing.

Yeah.

I don't know. I always think it's my blood, my O negative blood. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know.

That's an interesting story I want to just touch on is you becoming a flight attendant at 4. We talked about. You told that story to someone the other day. One of my kids, I think one of your grandkids. At 42, you had sold the market and the grocery store and looking for your next career. How'd you end up applying for a flight attendant? And tell me about that cattle call that you somehow, even though you were older, had no experience. You somehow got picked amongst all your.

Your dad, he saw an ad of the paper in Fresno. They were looking for flight attendants. And the only category they was 2 years customer service and over 21 years old. And your dad said you're both of those. Because I thought you had to be 58 and 120 pounds and like the old days. But not anymore.

Yeah.

So at the time. Because I had gained a lot of weight. When you were in the hospital.

Yeah.

For your car accident. So I was almost £200 at the time.

Wow.

And. But your dad took me down there and there was a whole bunch of young girls in their 20s, high heel shoes, 120 pounds, 5 8, like you're supposed to be. And I almost left and I told your dad, I go, not staying here. I don't belong here. He goes, just stay. And so I did. And at the end of the day, because it was an all day process, I was the only one hired.

Wow. Wow. And I parties. Your confidence. Right. Don't you, don't you tell anyone that's interviewing you that, hey, I'll be the best employee you ever had.

Yeah, if you don't like me, fire me. But yeah, I mean, if you don't hire me, you're crazy.

Yeah.

Why not tell them that If. I mean, if I don't like myself and if I don't have confidence in who I am, why should they?

Yeah.

That's how I look at it.

Let's piggyback on that. What are some of the beliefs that you think that have helped you stay positive throughout your life or habits? Are there any beliefs? Are there habits?

I think the most. The thing that I remember the most growing up is because I was always kind of a chunky kid. I had a pug nose. I've had some work done on it, but it was a lot. Was a Big nose.

Yeah.

I had buck teeth as a kid and I had braces. But so my dad told me, he said you have to be able to laugh at yourself. People can't laugh at you.

Yeah.

So if you can laugh first, I mean the things you can't change. I was born with this stuff.

Yeah.

But he said if you can already find humor in it, I swear it worked. That was where the best advice I ever got, be able to laugh at yourself. I mean, and I think a lot of comedians do.

Yeah.

Like Phyllis Diller. She wasn't attractive. Joan Rivers.

Yeah.

They were able to laugh at themselves and not take it seriously. So no one can really hurt your feelings because I know who I am, I know what I look like.

Yeah.

And that was the best advice my father Edinburgh gave. Then on I soared through school. I just.

Yeah, that's awesome. So just be able to laugh at yourself and then nobody else laughing at you is gonna make any negative impact on your right mental and emotional well being. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As you talk, I always try to think of where I reflect you in me. That for sure I have no problem making fun of myself or.

Yeah, I mean, you know, can't change it.

Yeah, exactly. Let's zoom out a bit. Life lessons legacy. What you want to leave behind. What advice would you give to other parents who are raising a child who. Well, let's go back to when I was struggling, it was struggling in school, getting in trouble all the time. What advice would you give to a parent going through something like that where they're, they're not sure that their kid's going to make it?

Just be consistent for one thing. Always be consistent. If you say you're going to do something that you're going to a punishment or don't just say it, do it, do it. And even if it's hard and like I always said, if your teenagers don't hate you when they're growing up, you're not being a good parent. Because we have to save teenagers from themselves. Yeah. Their brains aren't developed. I have to make the hard decisions. And you remember when you were guys were teenagers, I told you you couldn't dye your hair, pierce your ears or get a tattoo because I owned your body till you were eight. And remember you came home with a pierced ear one time and you pinned.

Me down and took it out, didn't no assist.

Well, you argue because you, you are a really good talker and you try to give me every reason why you should keep that earring. And you were good at it.

Yeah.

And I said, yeah, but how, you know, you knew you weren't supposed to do it. And I said, and I'm a fair person and I believe in choices. So I said, you can take it out painlessly and if I do it, it's gonna hurt. You took it out, you never did it again.

Yeah. And I still don't have any piercings. Not there's anything wrong with that, but I don't have any for sure.

No.

That's good advice. Yeah. Consistency is so important and I struggle with that as a parent. Like a part of it is just energy. Like I'm exhausted.

I know you have to, you gotta push through that. You, you've got to. Even if it's going to be ten times harder to follow through than it would be just to say, okay, yeah, no, yeah, you do the ten times harder. Yeah, you just do.

Yeah. No, that's true. That's part of what, that's tough love. Right. But it's like true love. Tough love. Making sure that's why you were going.

To clean the bathrooms and the septic tank brush, because it wasn't going to be easy.

Well, I think you just said you have to. How did you say it? Teenagers, you have to. What did you say?

We have to make all the tough decisions for them.

Yeah. Because their brain's not fully developed. And, and I think that's one way to look at love, is holding someone to higher standards than they will hold themselves to.

That's right.

Right.

They just don't. I mean, I did stupid stuff when I was a teenager. I sure look back.

Yeah.

And I'm, you know, I'm going, oh my. And I was a good teenager.

Yeah.

And I still did some stupid stuff. But kids just do that and I think just. Yeah. Consistency. And don't let them control you.

Yeah, yeah.

You have to control them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you could go back and give your 30 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?

What was I doing at 30? I wasn't a flight attendant yet. Don't feel old because really 40 was better.

Yeah.

60S have been better than 40s and 50s. I'm gonna be 70 in two and a half years. I can't wait.

Yeah. And you're having a big party, a big 70s disco party, right?

That's right.

Yeah.

And I feel 25.

Yeah.

And in my brain I'm 25. I'm energetic still. I got a little limp now and my hand's a little gimpy, but I don't care yeah. And I just love my life every single day. And I wake up and I'm grateful I'm awake and. But then again, when my time comes, I'll be okay with that too, because I live my life.

Yeah. Fully. Fully to the fullest. Yeah.

Full. Yeah. I'm one of those people, someone says, hey, you want to. Yeah. What? Yeah. Say yes.

Yeah. I don't know where your energy comes from, but we can't even us younger folks, struggle to keep up with you. What do you hope that your grandkids, Sophia and Halston, my kiddos, learn from your life?

Well, no toys, just imagination. I'm one of those grandmas.

Yeah.

I believe in really. I guess like enjoying yourself, you don't need love yourself and you don't need so many things. Life is more than stuff. I mean, I'm a. Pretty much a minimalist.

Yeah.

And. Yeah, just. And love yourself and enjoy yourself. And again, if you don't like yourself, love yourself. Why would somebody else. You've gotta. But you've got to feel it. You've got to really, I think, really love yourself and realize you are a gift from God. And you're the best you. No one else is you sure. You're the best you. And wake up every day just happy and grateful. Even when things go. I mean, I've had a lot of bad things.

Yeah.

But just be grateful for. Or anyways, you just have to be. Because what's the alternative is miserable.

Right. Either you're grateful or you're miserable.

That's right.

Yeah. Whichever you choose.

Yeah. And I choose to be grateful.

Yeah.

And joyful and happy and you know, I have people that come over because they go, julie, when I'm around you, I'm happier.

Yeah. Yeah. You always bring up the vibe.

I try.

If you had to sum up your life philosophy in one sentence, two max, one to two sentences, what would it be? And take your time.

Yeah. I really believe in giving. I think in giving you receive rather than always wanting someone to give to. You find the joy in giving to others because there's a lot of joy in that.

Yeah. Yeah. Real quick. Just list some of the things that you've done in terms of giving. From donating blood to sitting with people and hot. Like just off top of your head. What are some of the things that you've done to selflessly add value for others to give back to others? Because I think that you're my model.

By a brief support group.

Yeah. Compassionate friends.

Passionate friends. Was good. I volunteered at the church. I did Catechism, started the women's guild at the church. My volunteered babysitting kids at the high school. I did that Christmas service that you and Haley and your dad, we all participated in. Some of your friends or people that had lost someone at Christmas time or were grieving Christmas and weren't able to really find the joy in the ho, ho, ho in Christmas. So we did a service just for those people that I think really touched a lot of people, and I was grateful that you kids got involved in that.

Yeah.

Yeah. Volunteering for hospice. 18 years, just sitting with patients, holding their hand.

18 years. You did that? Wow.

Yeah, I volunteered for Catholic chore services, where I went and helped clean houses or whatever people needed. You know, took them to hair appointments or doctor's appointments or whatever they needed. Elks. Lots of volunteering at the Elks. Yeah. Now I'm volunteering with the shipmates at the Yacht Foma Yacht Club. We do a lot of charity work for families. Feed them clothes for them, toys at Christmas.

Yeah.

Yeah. So there's lots of stuff you can do.

A big part of your life philosophy is definitely giving and helping people that are in need. Right? Yeah. You've been my inspiration in that regard. Last question. When you're no longer here, how do you want to be remembered?

Oh, it's just a fun person, because, I mean, I'm donating my body to science.

Okay.

Because my motto is, I've enjoyed it. Somebody else might, too. I just want to party. Just have a party. Remember the good times. Do some karaoke, dance. No, Somber, don't be sad, because, yeah, you know, of course I'll be haunting you once I'm gone forever. But, yeah, just joyful. I hope. I hope I brought. I hope I was a good mom. Yeah, I brought you joy. And.

Yeah, that one's already in the bag. You already. That one you can check off. So, mom, thanks for doing this.

Well, thanks for. You do this.

This is long, long overdue.

Yeah. This was fun. Anything with you is good.

Now, you've been through more than most people, and you've never stopped loving. You've never lost your faith, and you've never stopped helping other people. And I love you and I admire you. And I hope that someone listening to this, especially if they're struggling and they're going through adversity, whether it's their own or someone that they love or they've lost, someone that your mindset around, can't change it. And make the best of this life. You've been blessed to live and love yourself and love your body and give to others and help other people and yeah, yeah, I hope it helps them so well.

Thank you. Love you.

Love you, mom. All right, Goal achievers and members of the Miracle Morning community, thank you for tuning in to this, the first ever interview with my mom. I love you so much. Thanks for tuning in and we'll catch you next week. Take care.

Thanks for listening.

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